NBC The Lucky Strike Program Starring Jack Benny 1944-12-24 - Trimming The Christmas Tree

Summary

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Harold's Old Time Radio

The Lucky Strike Program Starring Jack Benny (1944-12-24): "Trimming the Christmas Tree"
Podcast Date: December 20, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode features the beloved 1944 Christmas Eve broadcast of "The Jack Benny Program." Jack Benny and his usual comedic ensemble gather at his house to trim his Christmas tree, exchange witty banter, share holiday mishaps, and celebrate the season with warmth and humor. The episode perfectly captures the spirit and camaraderie of family radio during the Golden Age, blending slapstick, wordplay, nostalgic moments, and a heartfelt tribute to soldiers overseas.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trimming the Christmas Tree: Chaos and Comedy

• Electrifying Mishaps:

  • Jack and Mary attempt to decorate the tree, but Jack's antics with the Christmas lights lead to repeated electrical mishaps—he holds a bare wire, tapes his finger to the wire, and his "nose lights up," much to Mary's delight (01:04–02:43).
    • Mary Livingstone: "Your nose lit up too." (02:47)
  • Rochester refuses to fix the lights, humorously lamenting the dangers of electricity:
    • Rochester: "I ain't going to get hit by nothing. I can't hit back." (03:27)
  • A running joke emerges about a little man up at Boulder Dam being responsible for the electrical mishaps (05:02, 12:23).

• Banter About Science & History:

  • Jack mixes up the historical inventors, confusing Robert Fulton and Thomas Edison, leading to a layered gag with contributions from Mary and Rochester.
    • Mary Livingstone: "Jack, you're thinking of Thomas Edison." (03:46)
    • Rochester: "He said, 'Don't give up the ship.'" (03:51)

2. Gift Giving and Tree Decorating

• Whipped Cream Cake & Spelling Errors:
  • Rochester asks how many R's are in "Merry" for decorating the cake.
    • Jack Benny: "It's better than ruining the cake." (03:17)
• Candy Cane Confessions:
  • Mary admits to eating a candy cane when Jack questions the missing treat.
    • Jack Benny: "I'm not looking at you. I'm asking you." (10:13)
    • Mary Livingstone: "All right, I ate it." (10:15)
    • Jack Benny: "Here's 10 cents, smarty." (10:16)
• Practical Gifts for Rochester:
  • Jack labels Rochester's present (toilet water) so he won't mistake it for something else, referencing last year's ship-in-a-bottle mix-up:
    • Jack Benny: "Last year I gave him a miniature ship in a bottle and the mast stuck out of his mouth for three days." (11:00)

3. The Policeman Incident: Flashback to a Christmas Department Store Brouhaha

• Officer's Visit:
  • A policeman arrives to investigate a complaint regarding Jack's behavior at Moore's Department Store (05:21–08:02).
  • Jack narrates, through flashback, the comic chaos: a man pesters him repeatedly about what to buy his wife, culminating in absurd accusations and crowd confusion.
    • Bill Harris: "Fine Christmas spirit." (06:35)
    • Mary Livingstone: "That man's been caught stealing somebody's wife." (06:49)
  • The policeman, amused, drops the complaint:
    • Officer: "It sounds like something you'd hear on the radio." (07:48)
    • Officer: "Well, I'm convinced it wasn't your fault. And... Merry Christmas." (07:55)

4. Holiday Gatherings and Running Gags

• Lighting Strikes Again:
  • As more friends arrive, the recurring joke with the lights continues. Jack sits on a wire and accidentally lights his cigarette (12:04–12:20).
    • Mary Livingstone: "You don't need it now. Your cigarette is lit." (12:12)
    • Rochester: "Don't thank me. Thank that little man up at Boulder Dam." (12:23)
• Phil Harris’ Gift:
  • Phil presents Jack with a turtleneck sweater—containing a live turtle:
    • Jack Benny: "A turtle." (14:38)
    • Phil Harris: "Are you comfortable, Phil? ...Good, good. Mary—push in the plug." (15:02–15:14)
  • They attempt to prank Phil with the electrified chair, but the joke fizzles, prompting more jokes about Boulder Dam (15:29–15:36).
• Movie Cameo:
  • Larry tells Jack he saw him in the movie "Hollywood Canteen" eight times, with Jack feigning modesty and Rochester chiming in with a jab:
    • Rochester: "Between you and me, that seat never gets a chance to cool off." (16:44)

5. Andy Devine Joins the Party

• Warm Holiday Reunion:
  • Andy Devine arrives, welcomed warmly by the crew, and exchanges jokes about their holiday habits and Christmas cards:
    • Andy Devine: "Well, who you think I was, Frank Sinatra?" (17:55)
    • Rochester: "Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without you." (18:49)
    • Andy Devine: "The holidays wouldn't be the same if I didn't see all of you folks." (18:52)
• Toasts and Friendship:
  • The group toasts to friendship and the holidays in a touching moment:
    • Andy Devine: "Here’s to you, Buck, Mary, Phil, and the whole gang. We've been friends for a long time, and I hope it always stays that way. Merry Christmas." (20:15)
    • Mary Livingstone: "A Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere." (20:31)

6. Jack’s Heartfelt Christmas Toast to Soldiers

• Emotional Message:
  • Jack delivers a poignant toast to soldiers fighting overseas, blending gratitude, solemnity, and hope:
    • Jack Benny:
      "This is a toast to a lot of fellas I met in Africa, Europe, and the South Pacific. And to all you other boys out there I wasn't lucky enough to meet... Christmas is a spirit... it transcends even the ugly scenes of a battlefield and fills the soul with a passion to defend the things that are right and just... So here's to you, fellas. Merry Christmas and God bless you all." (20:52–22:36)

7. Traditional Carol Medley

• Musical Finish:
  • The episode closes with carols: "O Come All Ye Faithful," "O Little Town of Bethlehem," and "Silent Night," to bring home the nostalgia and warmth of old-time radio Christmases (22:36–26:14).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jack Benny (on electricity mishaps):
  "Those were my eyes. I must have been holding onto a bare wire." (01:31)
• Rochester (on fixing lights):
  "I ain't going to get hit by nothing. I can't hit back." (03:27)
  "But way up there, Boulder Dam, is a little man sitting in a room with thousands of wires around..." (05:02)
• Mary Livingstone:
  "Jack, you're thinking of Thomas Edison." (03:46)
  "A Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere." (20:31)
• Phil Harris:
  "Where'd you find this one?"
  Mary Livingstone: "In the lobby of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel." (13:06)
• Andy Devine (to everyone):
  "Here’s to you, Buck, Mary, Phil, and the whole gang. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I hope it always stays that way. Merry Christmas." (20:15)
• Jack Benny (closing toast):
  "So here's to you, fellas. Merry Christmas and God bless you all." (22:36)
• Rochester (about Jack and holiday movies):
  "Between you and me, that seat never gets a chance to cool off." (16:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:31 – Poetic introduction: Jack trimming the Christmas tree
• 01:04–02:43 – Jack’s mishaps with electricity and the running joke about "bare wires"
• 03:27 – Rochester refuses to fix electricity; Boulder Dam joke introduced
• 05:21–08:02 – Policeman confronts Jack about the department store incident
• 12:04–12:20 – Jack accidentally lights his cigarette via electric shock
• 13:06 – Reveal: Jack's tree comes from the hotel lobby
• 14:38 – Phil gives Jack a turtleneck sweater—containing an actual turtle
• 15:02–15:36 – Jack and Mary attempt an electric prank on Phil; Boulder Dam gag
• 17:55–18:52 – Andy Devine’s arrival and Christmas reunion jokes
• 20:15–20:34 – Andy's toast, followed by Mary’s toast
• 20:52–22:36 – Jack’s emotional Christmas message to overseas troops
• 22:36–26:14 – Carol medley: "O Come All Ye Faithful," "O Little Town of Bethlehem," "Silent Night"

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Final Thoughts

This episode weaves classic Jack Benny humor with timeless holiday warmth, balancing slapstick, wordplay, and heartfelt sincerity. The playful chaos around the tree, the recurring gags about Boulder Dam, and the affectionate camaraderie among friends evoke a bygone era of family togetherness around the radio. The episode’s climax—a moving message to soldiers—reminds listeners of the program's deep connection to its contemporary audience during World War II, making this a holiday classic with both laughter and heart.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

The jack benny program, starring jack benny. With barry livingston, bill harris, rochester, larry stevenson.

[Jack Benny]

Yours truly, don w.

[Announcer]

Tis the night before Christmas, and at Jack Benny's house there are presents for all. Even cheese for the mouse. Jack is up on a chair, Then he's down on his knee. But you have to do that when you're trimming a tree.

[Jack Benny]

Well, we're all through, Mary. Gee, was nice of you to come over and help me trim the tree.

[Mary Livingstone]

Well, if I didn't, you'd never get it done. Say, Jack, shall I put the snow around the bottom now?

[Jack Benny]

Not yet. I want to see if the lights are working. I'll hold up the bulbs, and when I say ready, you plug it in.

[Mary Livingstone]

Okay.

[Jack Benny]

Ready?

[Larry Stevens]

Ready.

[Bill Harris]

Pull it out. Pull it out.

[Rochester]

Pull it out.

[Jack Benny]

My goodness.

[Mary Livingstone]

Oh, Jack, why did you make me shut it off? Those lights were so pretty. Especially those two blue ones that kept flashing on and off.

[Jack Benny]

Those were my eyes. I must have been holding onto a bare wire.

[Mary Livingstone]

Well, it's your own fault. Every time you fool around with electricity, something goes wrong.

[Jack Benny]

It does? Now, I know plenty about electricity.

[Mary Livingstone]

Oh, sure. Remember what happened two years ago when you fixed your doorbell?

[Larry Stevens]

What happened?

[Mary Livingstone]

I pushed the button. It burned down Crosby's.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, stop exaggerating. Anyway, hand me that roll of tape. Give me that tape. I'll fix this bare wire right now.

[Mary Livingstone]

Here you are.

[Larry Stevens]

Thanks. Comes to electricity. I know what I'm doing. See, when you see a bare wire, you just tape it up like this. And that way it's insulated against outside elements. There. That ought to be enough tape. All right, Mary, plug it in.

[Mary Livingstone]

Okay.

[Bill Harris]

Pull it out.

[Rochester]

Pull it.

[Announcer]

For heaven's sake.

[Mary Livingstone]

What happened, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

I taped my finger to the wire. That's what happened.

[Mary Livingstone]

Oh, gee, and that time it is even prettier than before.

[Larry Stevens]

What do you mean?

[Mary Livingstone]

Your nose lit up too.

[Jack Benny]

It did not. Let's get this tree finished before the gang gets here.

[Mary Livingstone]

But you. Jack, what about the light?

[Jack Benny]

We'll have to let that go until later. Now, hand me one of those.

[Rochester]

Oh, Mr. Benny.

[Jack Benny]

What is it, Rochester?

[Rochester]

I baked that cake like you told me to.

[Larry Stevens]

Good.

[Jack Benny]

Did you have enough whipped cream to spell out Merry Christmas on top?

[Rochester]

Yeah. Say, boss, how many R's in merry?

[Jack Benny]

Two. Oh. So you better add one.

[Rochester]

Add one?

[Bill Harris]

I better cross one out.

[Rochester]

I got three.

[Jack Benny]

Well, leave it. It's better than ruining the cake.

[Rochester]

Okay.

[Mary Livingstone]

Oh, Rochester, will you please take. Take these Christmas tree lights and fix them?

[Jack Benny]

Fix them?

[Larry Stevens]

Yes.

[Rochester]

I ain't fooling around with electricity.

[Larry Stevens]

Now.

[Jack Benny]

What are you afraid of?

[Rochester]

I ain't going to get hit by nothing. I can't hit back.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, Roger, imagine being afraid of electricity. Suppose Robert Fulton was afraid of electricity. He never would have invented the electric light.

[Mary Livingstone]

Woody, Jack, you're thinking of Thomas Edison.

[Jack Benny]

Edison? Well, then what did Robert Fulton do?

[Rochester]

He said, don't give up the ship.

[Jack Benny]

That was John Paul Jones. Now, let's not start that again. Now, Rochester, please fix these lights, will you?

[Rochester]

Okay, okay. Let's see.

[Larry Stevens]

Now.

[Rochester]

In electricity, there's the electrons and the electrodes. Then there's the positive and the negative. But I am positive. Which one is negative? Then there's the atom. Now, the atoms are supposed to go from the positive to the negative. Or maybe they go from the electrons to the electrodes. Then again, maybe they go from Natchez to Mobile.

[Bill Harris]

Right?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, sir.

[Rochester]

Now, as long as these atoms keep passing each other, everything is all right. But when they meet halfway and start fighting, they're going to turn on anybody who tries to put in.

[Jack Benny]

Roger, I'm not interested in the scientific details. I just want you to fix those lights. And I promise you, while you're holding the wires, no one in this room will turn on the switch.

[Rochester]

I know, boys. While I'm holding the wire, you ain't going to turn on the switch. And Ms. Livingston ain't going to turn on the switch.

[Larry Stevens]

Of course not.

[Rochester]

But way up there, Boulder down, is a little man sitting in a room with thousands of wires around.

[Larry Stevens]

What?

[Bill Harris]

How do I know he ain't going.

[Rochester]

To do something just to break the monotony?

[Jack Benny]

Oh, all right. I'll fix it myself. Go back in the kitchen. Come in.

[Officer]

I'm looking for Mr. Benny. Mr. Jack Benny?

[Jack Benny]

Me?

[Officer]

Yes.

[Larry Stevens]

But you're a policeman.

[Officer]

Well, now, what do you know? This blue uniform has given me away again.

[Larry Stevens]

But.

[Jack Benny]

But.

[Larry Stevens]

But, Officer. Mary, say something.

[Mary Livingstone]

But. But, Officer.

[Jack Benny]

Is that all you can say?

[Mary Livingstone]

That's all you said.

[Jack Benny]

Now, now, officer.

[Officer]

Mr. Binney, I hate to be doing this to you on Christmas Eve, but I have a complaint about you disturbing the peace last week at Moore's Department Store.

[Jack Benny]

At Moore's Department. Oh, that. Well, Officer, that wasn't my fault at all. You see, first I had trouble with some crazy poor walker who kept hollering, stop breathing on my carnation.

[Larry Stevens]

And then.

[Officer]

A little sore. Please, I'm writing it down.

[Larry Stevens]

Yes, sir.

[Officer]

How many hours in foundation?

[Larry Stevens]

1.

[Jack Benny]

And then some silly guy kept following me around, asking me what I thought I ought to buy his wife for Christmas. Now, I didn't mind it the first.

[Larry Stevens]

Time or the second time.

[Jack Benny]

But he kept hounding me. And just before the real trouble started.

[Larry Stevens]

I was standing by the perfume counter.

[Jack Benny]

When all of us. I was trying to buy some perfume for my sister Florence.

[Bill Harris]

Here's your chancer.

[Jack Benny]

Thank you. Come on Mary, let's get over.

[Bill Harris]

I beg your pardon, mister.

[Larry Stevens]

Oh, it's you again.

[Bill Harris]

What do you think I ought to.

[Jack Benny]

Buy my wife for Christmas? I told you before, I don't know what you should buy your wife for Christmas. Figure it out yourself. Figure it out yourself, he says. Figure it out yourself.

[Bill Harris]

Fine Christmas spirit.

[Jack Benny]

Look, I don't care what you buy your wife for Christmas. Don't buy her anything.

[Officer]

Don't buy her anything.

[Bill Harris]

We've been married for 12 years.

[Officer]

What are you trying to do, break us up?

[Jack Benny]

Look, I don't know your wife. I've never seen your wife.

[Bill Harris]

What's going on here? What's the trouble?

[Mary Livingstone]

That man's been caught stealing somebody's wife.

[Bill Harris]

What your age, you gray haired wolf. Now wait a minute. One time let me through.

[Jack Benny]

What's going on here?

[Andy Devine]

Oh, it's you, my little cupy with the droopy scoopy.

[Bill Harris]

Now cut that out and don't blame.

[Jack Benny]

Me for this because it stops breathing on my carnation.

[Bill Harris]

I'll breathe on it as much as I like. Stand up everybody. The man is mad. You're darn right on that. And this is all your fault. Mister. Ask me to buy your wife a Christmas for all I care.

[Jack Benny]

You can buy her a dog collar.

[Andy Devine]

What side?

[Bill Harris]

What size? There you are, folks.

[Jack Benny]

See what a crazy guy is. And you blame me?

[Bill Harris]

Why, it's not my fault.

[Jack Benny]

I'm not the type that would take start trouble. I'm a peaceful home.

[Mary Livingstone]

Shut up.

[Bill Harris]

Oh, come on Mary, let's get out of here.

[Jack Benny]

And that's. That's exactly what happened, officer.

[Larry Stevens]

Believe me.

[Officer]

By golly, it's amazing. It sounds like something you'd hear on the radio.

[Larry Stevens]

Yeah.

[Officer]

Well, I'm convinced it wasn't your fault. And I'm going to forget all about this complaint and be wishing you folks a Merry Christmas.

[Jack Benny]

The same to you, officer.

[Mary Livingstone]

Had a happy New Year.

[Officer]

Thank you.

[Jack Benny]

Goodbye. Say, Mary, he was a nice fellow at that.

[Mary Livingstone]

Yes, he was.

[Jack Benny]

Now come on Mary, let's put the presents around the tree before the gang gets here. Well, well, Mary, we got all the packages under the tree. It looks nice, doesn't it?

[Mary Livingstone]

It sure does. Jack, if you're not going to use the Christmas tree lights, let's put on the candy canes.

[Larry Stevens]

Okay, here's the box and you can. Hey, Wait a minute.

[Jack Benny]

I had 12 candy canes and now there are only 11. Where's the other one?

[Mary Livingstone]

Don't look at me.

[Jack Benny]

I'm not looking at you. I'm asking you.

[Mary Livingstone]

All right, I ate it.

[Jack Benny]

Here's 10 cents, smarty. I bet you'd be surprised if I took her.

[Mary Livingstone]

I wouldn't be surprised if you sued me.

[Larry Stevens]

Mary, let's get this finished, will ya?

[Mary Livingstone]

Jack, you better pick up those lights off off the floor before somebody steps on em.

[Larry Stevens]

Oh, yes. Now where can I put them? I'll put these lights up here on the chair. This chair right here.

[Jack Benny]

And Mary, here's Rochester's present. I forgot that.

[Larry Stevens]

Slip it under the tree.

[Jack Benny]

Boy, will he be surprised.

[Mary Livingstone]

But Jack, Holly be surprised. You've got toilet water written all over the package.

[Jack Benny]

Well, you gotta do that with Rochester. When he opens a package and finds a bottle, he never stops to read the label.

[Rochester]

Last.

[Jack Benny]

Last year I gave him a miniature ship in a bottle and a mask stuck out of his mouth for three days. Every time I asked him something, he had to answer me through the crow's nest. Believe me, Mary, I know what I'm doing.

[Mary Livingstone]

Well, Jack, I guess that does it. Tree's all finished.

[Larry Stevens]

Yeah, see? It looks swell. I'm kind of tired.

[Jack Benny]

I think I'll sit down for a.

[Larry Stevens]

Minute and smoke a cigarette.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, have you got a match?

[Mary Livingstone]

No.

[Larry Stevens]

Oh, well.

[Jack Benny]

Oh.

[Rochester]

Say, boss.

[Jack Benny]

What is it, Rochester?

[Rochester]

Are your socks dry yet?

[Jack Benny]

My socks?

[Larry Stevens]

I think so.

[Rochester]

Well, people will be here soon. You better take them off the tree.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, that's right. You take them off, will you, Rochester, I'm tired. I want to sit here.

[Larry Stevens]

W. Yes, sir.

[Rochester]

Hey, this tree looks all nice, but.

[Officer]

It'S kind of dark.

[Rochester]

Oh, no wonder the lights aren't plugged in. I'll fix that.

[Bill Harris]

Pull it out. Pull it out.

[Rochester]

Pull it out.

[Jack Benny]

For heaven's sake.

[Mary Livingstone]

What's the matter, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

I was sitting on the wire. As long as you're here, Rochester, give me a match.

[Mary Livingstone]

You don't eat it now. Your cigarette is lit.

[Larry Stevens]

Oh, yes.

[Jack Benny]

Thanks, Rochester.

[Rochester]

Don't thank me. Thank that little man up at Boulder Dam.

[Jack Benny]

Rochester, I wonder how that guy at.

[Larry Stevens]

Boulder Dam knew I was sick.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, well, come in.

[Bill Harris]

Hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson.

[Jack Benny]

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[Mary Livingstone]

Hey to you, Phil.

[Jack Benny]

Hey, Jackson, that Christmas tree looks terrific. Yeah, it is a nice tree, isn't it? Not only that, it's grown about 2ft since last year. Phil, this isn't the same one. You know, Phil, I believe in the old fashioned way of getting a tree. I know when you get up early in the morning and bundle yourself up.

[Larry Stevens]

Warm and you throw an axe over.

[Jack Benny]

Your shoulder and go out in the.

[Larry Stevens]

Woods, you know, way out in the wilderness and chomp down your own Christmas tree.

[Jack Benny]

Yeah, you're right, Jackson. Where'd you find this one?

[Mary Livingstone]

In the lobby of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.

[Larry Stevens]

You said it.

[Bill Harris]

Timber.

[Jack Benny]

Yes, sir. Say, Jackson, you ought to see the tree I got in my house. I got it all decorated and then right on top I got a big red star. A red star? Phil's supposed to be a silver star. I know, but this way I get five red points. Oh, Harris, you humorous. You're the mark train of your generation. Mark Twain. Phillips. Twain. Twain. Wheelie. Phil, after a gag like that, you're lucky Santa doesn't scratch you with his claws. Say, that was pretty good too.

[Mary Livingstone]

Don't bother sending us Cracker Jack, mother. We're now getting corn by the tons.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, I don't know, Mary. I thought that was pretty cute. Hey, Phil, what do you got in that package there? Oh, I forgot. Jackson, it's a Christmas present for you. For me? Yeah, me and the boys in the band all chipped in and got it for you. Well, thanks, thanks. I'll put it under the tree. Oh, no, you don't. No, you don't. Open it up right now.

[Larry Stevens]

Okay. See?

[Jack Benny]

It was certainly nice of you and.

[Larry Stevens]

The boys to think of me. No, I really didn't. Oh, Phil, thanks. Gee, a beautiful turtleneck sweater. Gee.

[Jack Benny]

Well, look inside of it, Jackson. Inside. Oh. Oh, Phil.

[Mary Livingstone]

What is it, Jack?

[Larry Stevens]

A turtle.

[Jack Benny]

Fine present.

[Larry Stevens]

Fix him. Imagine. Bring me a turtle for a thing. Barry.

[Jack Benny]

Come here, Phil. Phil, sit down on my chair. Well, thanks, Jackson.

[Larry Stevens]

Are you.

[Jack Benny]

Are you comfortable, Phil? Sure.

[Larry Stevens]

Good, good. Mary. Mary pushing the plug.

[Mary Livingstone]

Oh, Jack, you wouldn't dare hand me the plug.

[Larry Stevens]

I'll give it to myself.

[Jack Benny]

Hey, Jackson, what about my present?

[Bill Harris]

Just sit where you are. You'll get it. You'll get it. It's a surprise.

[Larry Stevens]

Harry. Watch him jump. 1, 2, 3. There. Phil.

[Jack Benny]

Phil, don't you feel anything? No, why? Well, what about the surprise? What's the matter?

[Mary Livingstone]

We're having a little trouble at Boulder Dam.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, I can't understand what went wrong. Phil, stand up a minute.

[Larry Stevens]

Okay. Let's see. There must be something wrong with this thing.

[Bill Harris]

Pull it out. Pull it out.

[Rochester]

Pull it out.

[Jack Benny]

I think to do to a guy on Christmas Eve.

[Bill Harris]

Well, it's your own fault for trying.

[Mary Livingstone]

To play a trick on sale.

[Bill Harris]

Ah, so that's it.

[Jack Benny]

A Jackson trying to give me a hot seat. Oh, it was nothing, Phil. I was just trying to have a little fun.

[Bill Harris]

Pull it out. Pull it out.

[Mary Livingstone]

Jack, that's a doorbell.

[Larry Stevens]

Oh.

[Jack Benny]

Oh. Oh.

[Bill Harris]

Come in. Hiya, Don. Hello, Larry. Don't, Larry. I'm glad.

[Jack Benny]

I'm glad you fellas were able to come over. Well, say, Mr. Benny.

[Larry Stevens]

Yes, Larry?

[Jack Benny]

Well, last night I went to the movies and I saw a picture called Hollywood Canteen. You did?

[Larry Stevens]

Yes.

[Jack Benny]

And you want to know something? What? You were in it.

[Larry Stevens]

Yes, yes, I know, kid.

[Jack Benny]

I. I happened to see the picture eight times.

[Bill Harris]

What?

[Rochester]

On the days he can't go, he sends me. Between you and me, that seat never gets a chance to cool off.

[Jack Benny]

Never mind.

[Announcer]

Well, say, Jack, I saw the picture too.

[Jack Benny]

You did, Don? Well, Don, tell me, how did my violin solo go over?

[Announcer]

Well, Jack, this will amaze you. R. When you started to play, the man next to me got all excited and enthused.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, I get it, Don. I get it.

[Rochester]

You don't have. Okay, Mr. B. I got the cake and coffee on the table.

[Chorus/Singer]

Good.

[Bill Harris]

Come on, fellas. Let's have a little bite. Take it easy, fellas. Take it easy. Take it easy.

[Jack Benny]

There's enough for all.

[Rochester]

Yes, folks, you don't have to crowd. Just line up to the right and have your ticket stuff ready.

[Jack Benny]

Rochester, this is Christmas.

[Rochester]

Oh, yes.

[Jack Benny]

Excuse me now, fellas. Hey, who can that be?

[Bill Harris]

Come in. Well, I'll be darned.

[Andy Devine]

Hey, hello, everybody.

[Bill Harris]

Well, oh, well.

[Jack Benny]

Well, what a surprise. Andy Devine.

[Andy Devine]

Well, who you think I was, Frank Sinatra?

[Chorus/Singer]

No, no, Andy.

[Jack Benny]

Your voice and figure are both a little huskier, I think. Hey, Andy, there's Don Wilson.

[Bill Harris]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Devine]

Hello, Skinny.

[Bill Harris]

Hello, fatso.

[Jack Benny]

That's the first time I ever heard a pot call. A pot. A pot. Say, Andy, Andy, how's your mother?

[Andy Devine]

Oh, she's swell, Buck. Hey, you know it. It's nice the way you think of her every year.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, I always call my friends around the holidays.

[Andy Devine]

Well, you don't have to worry about Ma, Buck. She wouldn't think of buying her Christmas cards from anyone else but you.

[Jack Benny]

I know. That's why I always throw in a couple of extra, extra ones.

[Rochester]

There you are, folks. Here's a. Oh, hello, Mr. Divine.

[Andy Devine]

Well, hello, Rochester.

[Rochester]

I'm glad you dropped in on the boss. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without you.

[Andy Devine]

Well, thanks, Rock. You know, the holidays wouldn't be the same if I didn't see all of you folks.

[Jack Benny]

Those are the two voices that drove Gravel Gertie into hiding.

[Bill Harris]

Say, come on, Andy.

[Jack Benny]

You're just in time to have a bite to eat. And listen, I've been saving a bottle of champagne just for this occasion. Let's drink a toast.

[Bill Harris]

Champagne. Oh, come on, fellas. Everybody.

[Jack Benny]

All right, Chester, give me that bottle of champagne.

[Rochester]

Here you are, boss. Shall I open it?

[Jack Benny]

No, I'll open it myself. Thank you. Now, let's see.

[Larry Stevens]

Champagne corks are so tight, see, they're hard to get loose.

[Bill Harris]

That.

[Mary Livingstone]

For goodness sake, fellas, don't just stand there.

[Bill Harris]

Pull a cork out of his mouth.

[Jack Benny]

Okay, hold your head still. Jackson.

[Bill Harris]

I'll pull a cork out.

[Mary Livingstone]

Jack. Jack, say something.

[Bill Harris]

Here.

[Jack Benny]

Rochester. Rochester, fill the glasses.

[Rochester]

Yes, sir.

[Jack Benny]

Hey, fellas, how about a toast?

[Bill Harris]

Hey, I got one. Go ahead, Andy.

[Jack Benny]

A toast.

[Larry Stevens]

Go ahead.

[Andy Devine]

Here's to you, Buck, Mary, Phil and the whole gang. We've been friends for a long time, and I hope it always stays that way. Merry Christmas.

[Bill Harris]

Merry Christmas.

[Andy Devine]

Merry Christmas.

[Mary Livingstone]

Jack, can I give a toast, too?

[Jack Benny]

Sure, sure.

[Larry Stevens]

Go right ahead. Mary.

[Mary Livingstone]

A Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere.

[Jack Benny]

Yeah.

[Bill Harris]

Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Hey, Jack.

[Announcer]

Jack, how about a toast from you?

[Jack Benny]

Me? Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry Stevens]

I'd like to give a toast, too, Don. This is a toast to a lot of fellas I met in Africa, Europe and the South Pacific. And to all you other boys out there I wasn't lucky enough to meet. Fellas, this is Christmas Eve. A time for happiness and good fellowship. A time when our hearts should be humble and forgiving. But this is war. And I've seen what you boys are up against on both sides of the world. I know the Christmas spirit must seem a very distant thing when you're crouched in a muddy foxhole or wading through the half frozen slush. I know, too, that there's very little to remind you of Christmas inside a stifling tank or in the icy cockpit of a B29 six miles above Tokyo. Maybe you feel it as something you lost long, long ago because the only Christmas lights you see are the burst of shells or the flashing path cut by tracer bullets. But. But Christmas is a spirit. A spirit that springs from within and is so strong, it transcends even the ugly scenes of a battlefield and fills the soul with a passion to defend the things that are right and just. You are the ones who have gone to the ends of the earth to preserve the freedom you know belongs to every man to hasten the day when all mankind can once again live in dignity and in peace. So here's to you, fellas. Merry Christmas and God bless you all.

[Chorus/Singer]

O come only faithful, joyful and triumphant. O come let us adore him O come let us adore him.

[Bill Harris]

Christ the lord.

[Chorus/Singer]

O little town of Bethlehem Us Till we see the light. And dreamlessly the silent stars go by yet in the dark shineth the everlasting light the hopes and fears of all my years I let.

[Larry Stevens]

Sa.

[Chorus/Singer]

All is calm all is bright. Mother and child Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in the heavenly peace. Sleep in heaven.

[Larry Stevens]

Good night, folks.