Nero Wolfe 82-04-03 Death Of A Demon

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Nero Wolfe 82-04-03: Death Of A Demon"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: Radio shows from the Golden Age of Radio. The time before television and the family all sat around the radio and listened to the shows of the time like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and many more.
• Episode: Nero Wolfe 82-04-03 Death Of A Demon
• Release Date: August 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported to the bustling offices of famed private detective Nero Wolfe, accompanied by his dependable assistant, Archie Goodwin. The episode, titled "Death Of A Demon," delves into a complex case involving deceit, blackmail, and murder, characteristic of Rex Stout's beloved detective series.

The Unexpected Visitor

The episode opens with Nero Wolfe handling a rather intrusive advertisement for Smoothie King (00:00), swiftly transitioning to the arrival of a distressed young woman, Lucy Hazen (00:55). Lucy seeks Wolfe's assistance, presenting him with a gun and expressing her troubling thoughts about her husband, Barry Hazen.

• Lucy Hazen: "I thought it would be more definite, I guess, if I brought the gun and showed it to you." (01:36)

Wolfe, intrigued yet cautious, listens as Lucy details her emotional turmoil and her inability to divorce Barry. Her confession hints at deep-seated issues within her marriage and introduces the central mystery of Barry Hazen's sudden death.

Unraveling the Mystery

As the dialogue unfolds, Wolfe skillfully navigates Lucy's narrative, probing inconsistencies and seeking clarity regarding Barry Hazen's disappearance. Lucy reveals that Barry, a Public Relations counselor, was found dead in an alley, having been shot in the back (06:54). The revelation that Barry was widely known yet shrouded in mysterious circumstances sets the stage for a classic Nero Wolfe investigation.

• Nero Wolfe: "With the reservation that if you tell me about a crime, I can't engage not to disclose it." (01:47)

Wolfe's initial assessment is meticulous, questioning Lucy about her alibi, the gun, and potential motives. The introduction of other characters, including Inspector Kramer and various dinner guests from the night of Barry Hazen's murder, adds layers to the intrigue.

Investigative Tactics and Twists

Demonstrating his unparalleled investigative prowess, Wolfe employs unconventional tactics to gather information. He enlists the help of his secretary, Mary Perry, and his servant, Bud Knapp, to trace the gun's origin and connect it to Barry Hazen.

A pivotal moment occurs when Wolfe manipulates the situation to reveal the true nature of the gun and its connection to Lucy Hazen and the dinner guests. The tension escalates as Wolfe confronts the suspects, each with their own motives and secrets.

• Nero Wolfe: "When you would like to know if a gun has been fired recently, you smell it automatically." (06:20)

This metaphor highlights Wolfe's acute attention to detail and his methodical approach to unraveling the truth.

Climactic Confrontation

The climax of the episode centers around the discovery that the gun presented by Lucy Hazen does not match the one that killed Barry Hazen. Wolfe orchestrates a dramatic showdown involving all key suspects—Mrs. Victor Oliver, Ann Talbot, Jules Curry, and Ambrose Pertis—revealing their interconnected motives rooted in Barry's blackmail schemes.

• Nero Wolfe: "I have to know where the gun came from that Mrs. Hazen left with me yesterday." (50:48)

As tension peaks, Wolfe exposes the duplicity of the suspects, particularly highlighting Jules Curry's illicit activities and Ambrose Pertis's financial malpractices. The revelation that Barry Hazen was a blackmailer leveraging his PR expertise to extort money from influential individuals provides a compelling motive for his murder.

Resolution and Justice

In the denouement, Wolfe presents irrefutable evidence linking the suspects to Barry Hazen's death. The cooperation between Wolfe and Inspector Kramer culminates in the arrest of those responsible, ensuring justice is served.

• Inspector Kramer: "Mrs. Hazen is your prisoner and of course it's your duty to guard her." (46:41)

The episode concludes with Wolfe reflecting on the complexities of human nature and the lengths individuals will go to protect their interests, encapsulating the essence of a classic Nero Wolfe tale.

Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• Nero Wolfe: "Life is a workout and Smoothie King is here to help you power through." (00:00)
  (Introduction advertisement)

• Lucy Hazen: "I thought it would be more definite, I guess, if I brought the gun and showed it to you." (01:36)

• Nero Wolfe: "When you would like to know if a gun has been fired recently, you smell it automatically." (06:20)

• Lucy Hazen: "The body of a man named Barry Hazen was found this morning in an alley between two buildings on Norton street in lower Manhattan." (07:05)

• Nero Wolfe: "I have to know where the gun came from that Mrs. Hazen left with me yesterday." (50:48)

• Inspector Kramer: "Mrs. Hazen is your prisoner and of course it's your duty to guard her." (46:41)

Conclusion

"Death Of A Demon" masterfully encapsulates the intricate storytelling and sharp wit that fans of Nero Wolfe cherish. Through compelling dialogue, strategic investigation, and unexpected plot twists, Harold's Old Time Radio delivers a memorable episode that both honors and revitalizes the Golden Age of Radio detective narratives. Listeners are left with a profound appreciation for Nero Wolfe's deductive genius and the timeless allure of classic mystery storytelling.

Transcript

[Nero Wolf]

Life is a workout and Smoothie King is here to help you power through. Whether you're grinding out bicep curls or muscling the couch across the living room, crushing morning miles or sprinting through back to back meetings, Smoothie King has fuel to help you maximize your workouts, own your recovery and elevate your game. Give your body the energy, protein and power it needs with a lineup of delicious smoothies made to help you conquer your goals. Only at smoothie King ours. Mary Perry, Bud Knapp, Patricia Hamilton, Mina E. Mina and Helen Hughes. When Mrs. Hazen arrived for her appointment with Nero Wolf, she gave me a smile.

[Lucy Hazen]

Thank you for getting him to see me, Mr. Goodwin.

[Nero Wolf]

It isn't often that a man gets a natural, friendly, straightforward smile from a young woman who has never seen him before with no come on, no catch and no dare. So I was surprised and disappointed when she took a gun from her purse and walked to Wolf's desk.

[Lucy Hazen]

That's the gun I'm not gonna shoot.

[Nero Wolf]

My husband with, Mrs. Hayes. And I am not impressed by his reality.

[Lucy Hazen]

Oh, I'm not trying to impress you. I'm only telling you that's what I came for. Just to tell you. I thought it would be more definite, I guess, if I brought the gun and showed it to you.

[Nero Wolf]

Just that you wanted half an hour.

[Lucy Hazen]

Because I thought it would be better if I told you something about why if you will regard it as confidential.

[Nero Wolf]

With the reservation that if you tell me about a crime, I can't engage not to disclose it. I'm not a lawyer or a priest.

[Lucy Hazen]

That's all right. There hasn't been any crime. And there won't be. You know who my husband is? Barry Hazen, Public Relations.

[Nero Wolf]

Mr. Goodwin has informed me.

[Lucy Hazen]

We were married two years ago, just after my father died. My father was an inventor and Barry used to do some public relations work for him. That's how I met him. I thought I really was in love with him. I've tried to decide what was the real reason I married him. You don't need to know all that. You don't even need to know why I won't kill him.

[Nero Wolf]

Half hour, madam.

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't hate him, but I think I despise him. I know I do. And he won't let me get a divorce. I tried to leave him. Well, I did leave him, but he made such a. There I go again. I don't need to tell you all that.

[Nero Wolf]

As you please.

[Lucy Hazen]

It's not as I please, Mr. Wolford, as I must.

[Nero Wolf]

As you must.

[Lucy Hazen]

You know how there can be something in your mind but you don't know it's there until all of a sudden there it is.

[Nero Wolf]

Certainly the subconscious is not a grave, it's a cistern.

[Lucy Hazen]

But we don't know what's in it. I didn't. One day a month ago I went to his bedroom and saw that gun in his drawer. And all of a sudden I was thinking how easy it would be to shoot him while he was in bed asleep. I said to myself, you idiot, you absolute idiot. And I didn't go near that drawer again. But the thought came back. It kept coming back. Mostly when I was trying to go to sleep. It got worse. It got so that I was planning how to do it so I wouldn't get caught. I knew it was idiotic, but I couldn't stop. I could not. And then just two nights ago I got out of bed trembling all over and went to the shower and turned on the cold water and stood under it. I had found a plan that would work. I don't have to tell you what the plan was.

[Nero Wolf]

As you please, as you must.

[Lucy Hazen]

It doesn't matter. I went back to bed, but I didn't sleep. I was afraid of what my mind might do. I'd found out I couldn't manage my mind. So yesterday afternoon I decided I would fix it so my mind would have to quit. I would tell somebody all about it. And then the plan couldn't work. Telling a friend wouldn't do. And of course I. I couldn't tell the police. Then I thought of you. And here I am. That's all. Except this. I want you to promise that if my husband is shot and killed you will tell the police about my coming here and what I said.

[Nero Wolf]

I see.

[Lucy Hazen]

There. That's it. If you promise to tell the police. I can't possibly do it. Will you promise?

[Nero Wolf]

No. I advise you not to insist on a promise.

[Lucy Hazen]

I must. I must know.

[Nero Wolf]

Very well.

[Lucy Hazen]

You promise?

[Nero Wolf]

Yes.

[Lucy Hazen]

Oh. Oh, well then. Is a. Is the check all right?

[Nero Wolf]

Certainly. Sometime of your half hour is left, Mrs. Hazen, if you have any use for it.

[Lucy Hazen]

No, thank you. That's really all I came for. Oh, yes. I would love to see the orchids. I've read so much about them. Would it be possible, do you think? Just a quick look. Perhaps Mr. Goodwin could show me. If you're too busy with the pleasure.

[Nero Wolf]

Mr. Goodwin doesn't owe you the time. I do. Come with me. You won't need your coat. I heard no kid coming. The 10,000 orchids in the three rooms up on the roof were his, not mine. He did like to show them off, but that wasn't why he had intervened. He had some letters to dictate and he thought that if I took her up there there'd be no telling when we'd come back down. Years ago he decided on insufficient evidence that I forgot about time when I'm with an attractive young woman. So I got on with my work and at noon I did what I often do, which was to switch on the radio for the news. But the contractor insists that he has received no favors from the senator. The body of a man named Barry Hazen was found this morning in an alley between two buildings on Norton street in lower Manhattan. He had been shot in the back and had been dead for some hours. No further details are available at present. Mr. Hazen was a well known public relations counselor. The Democratic leaders in Congress have apparently decided to hold their fire. When you would like to know if a gun has been fired recently, you smell it automatically. But it doesn't mean a thing really, unless it's just been fired and there's been no opportunity to clean it. The cylinder was full of cartridges.

[Lucy Hazen]

Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. What was the name again? Failure. Oh, they're lovely. Thanks again, Mr. Goodwin. I'll take the gun.

[Nero Wolf]

No, ma'. Am. There's been a development. I turned on the radio for the news and I got some. All right. The body of a man named Barry Hazen was found this morning in an alley between two buildings on Norton street in lower Manhattan. Been shot in the back and he'd been dead for some hours. No further details are available at present.

[Lucy Hazen]

You're. You're making it up.

[Nero Wolf]

Well, that's what was said verbatim. Get her something. Brandy. Yes, sir.

[Lucy Hazen]

No, I'm all right. He said that?

[Nero Wolf]

That's what was said.

[Lucy Hazen]

He's dead? Yes, he's dead.

[Nero Wolf]

I'll be in the kitchen. No, hold it, sir. You'll be all right in a minute. Take a deep breath, Mrs. Hazen. Please.

[Lucy Hazen]

I want to phone somebody. I have to know. Who can I phone?

[Nero Wolf]

A shot of brandy. Maybe it wouldn't hurt you after all.

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't want anything. Who can I phone?

[Nero Wolf]

Nobody. Not just now.

[Lucy Hazen]

Why not?

[Nero Wolf]

Because we must first consider whether I should phone the police as I promised. Archie, has that gun been fired recently? If so, it's been cleaned. It's fully loaded. The cartridges all look alike. Should you shoot him for a quick guess? No. To make it final, I would need facts. So would I. Did you shoot your husband, Mrs. Hazel? No. Since my promise was to you, you may of course release me from it. Do you wish me to phone the police?

[Lucy Hazen]

Not now. You don't have to. Now you won't ever have to. He's dead and I didn't kill him. That's all over now.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, sit down. It's not so simple. When the police ask you where you were this morning, from 11 o' clock on, what'll you say? Confound it. Quit propping yourself on my desk and sit down. That's better. What will you say?

[Lucy Hazen]

Why will they ask me that?

[Nero Wolf]

Certainly. You'll have to account for every minute since you last saw your husband. Did you come here in a cab?

[Lucy Hazen]

Yes.

[Nero Wolf]

And you'll say so? You'll have to. When they ask why you came to see me, what do you say?

[Lucy Hazen]

Oh, you'll have to tell me what to say.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, I expected that. You are not my client. You have paid me for half an hour of my time. Now stretch to more than that and release me from my promise so I can. What are you doing?

[Lucy Hazen]

I'm going to write a check. Then I will be your client. How much?

[Nero Wolf]

Mrs. Hazen, I am not a blackmailer. I take pay for services. And you may not need my services. Now, will you answer some questions?

[Lucy Hazen]

Of course. But I've taken taken more than my half hour.

[Nero Wolf]

No. If you didn't shoot your husband, we're both ensnared by circumstance. First, instead of a question, a statement. You cannot take the gun. The gun stays here.

[Lucy Hazen]

But I have to put it back where I got it.

[Nero Wolf]

No, I cannot let you take the gun. Now, when and where did you last see your husband?

[Lucy Hazen]

Last night at home. We had people for dinner.

[Nero Wolf]

All right, details. How many people? Their names.

[Lucy Hazen]

They were clients of Barry's. Important clients. All but one. Mrs. Victor Oliver. Ann Talbot, who's the wife of a banker, Jules Curry, an inventor. He used to work with my father, Ambrose Pertis, who's a shipping man. Ted Theodore Weed. He's not a client. He works for Barry. Seven, counting Barry and me.

[Nero Wolf]

And when did these guests leave?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't know exactly. Barry had told me he was going to discuss something with them and I wouldn't be needed. And after the coffee? I left. I went upstairs to my bedroom.

[Nero Wolf]

Did you hear him when he went up to bed?

[Lucy Hazen]

No.

[Nero Wolf]

What about this morning?

[Lucy Hazen]

He wasn't there. He rises early. The maid. Who?

[Nero Wolf]

What?

[Lucy Hazen]

Nothing. Nothing that matters to you. I'm not liking myself, Mr. Wolf. I said he rises early, but now I can say he Ruled rose early and I wanted to sing it. I did.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, if you please. You'll have plenty of time for that. How about the maid? I'm sorry?

[Lucy Hazen]

Maid said he hadn't come for breakfast and when she went up, his bed hadn't been slept. And he done that before? Not very often. Once or twice a month.

[Nero Wolf]

What, without telling you where he was going?

[Lucy Hazen]

Yes.

[Nero Wolf]

Do you know where he went last night?

[Lucy Hazen]

No, I. No idea.

[Nero Wolf]

Were you continually in the house from the time you went to your bedroom last night until you left this morning?

[Lucy Hazen]

Yes.

[Nero Wolf]

Would the maid have heard you if you'd gone out during the night?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't think so. Her room is in the basement and you are vulnerable.

[Nero Wolf]

What time did you leave this morning?

[Lucy Hazen]

Five minutes past 11. I wanted to be sure to get here on time.

[Nero Wolf]

When did you take the gun from the drawer in your husband's room?

[Lucy Hazen]

Just before I left. I didn't decide to bring it until the last minute.

[Nero Wolf]

How many people know that you despised your husband? Despises Your word, Mrs. Hazen?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't think anyone does. I have never told anyone, not even my best friend.

[Nero Wolf]

Your maid knows for one. Is she not a dote? She's of course being questioned at this very moment. Was your husband wealthy?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't know.

[Nero Wolf]

You don't know?

[Lucy Hazen]

Well, he had a large income. Tommy must have. He was free with money. He owned the house.

[Nero Wolf]

Any children?

[Lucy Hazen]

No.

[Nero Wolf]

You will inherit.

[Lucy Hazen]

Mr. Wolf. This is ridiculous. I don't want anything from him.

[Nero Wolf]

Merely examining your position. You will inherit.

[Lucy Hazen]

Yes, he told me I would.

[Nero Wolf]

Didn't he know you despised him?

[Lucy Hazen]

He was incapable of believing that anyone could despise him. I suppose he was a psychopath. I looked up psychopathy in the dictionary.

[Nero Wolf]

No doubt that was the help. I presume you will now go home. Since you must tell the police that you were here. You might as well say that you learned of your husband's death from my radio. It'll save you the bother of feigning surprise and shock. I said you would be in a pickle, madam. And you are? What are you doing?

[Lucy Hazen]

I am writing you a check.

[Nero Wolf]

No. You may not be in jeopardy. They may get them murderer today or tomorrow. If they don't, we'll see. Archie. Yes, sir. Mrs. Hazen is leaving. Archie, I do not intend to serve the convenience of a murderer. What ground do you have for your guest? You heard her stutter that I was making it up. Also she went white. All white and three sides seconds. No one can do that. Very well. Call your friend Mr. Cohen. At the Gazette and get details. He may not have any yet. Anything in particular? Whatever he has. But in particular, I want to know if the weapon has been found or a bullet. Body was found by a truck driver at 10:18am it was stiff, so he must have been dead at least five hours, probably more. He was fully dressed, including an overcoat. His hat was there on the ground. Usual items in his pocket, except that there were no keys, no wallet, no watch. His name was on some letters in his pocket, so the wallet wasn't taken to delay identification. He was shot once in the back. A rib stopped. A bullet of.32. They have the bullet? Right, but no weapon. Will she report what she told me? No. That's why I put up with you. You could have answered with 50 words and you did it with one. I've often wondered. Now tell me. What? Why I put up with you. That's beyond conjecture. I want a bullet that's been fired from that gun on your desk. And we shouldn't wait until after lunch. You have 20 minutes. If your guess about Mrs. Hazen is correct, that gun is not evidence. If it is, you'll be tampering with it. Shall I do it? No, you might shoot your toe off. When will the police come? It'll probably be Kramer. Give him two hours. What time did Mrs. Hazen get here this morning? Is that snow on your hat, Mr. Kramer? I asked you a question. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable if you removed it. The hat, I mean. What time did she get here? Half past eleven. When did you leave? Shortly before one o'. Clock. What you have to say, Mr. Kramer? I know that Mrs. Hazen's husband has been shot and killed. She was with me when the news came on my radio. I have knowledge of no evidence that would be useful to you in your investigation. That is my considered opinion. Mrs. Hazen consulted me in confidence. What we spoke of is not pertinent to your inquiry. Someday you're gonna fall off and get hurt and this could be it. I'm asking you to tell me what Mrs. Barry Hazen said when she came to see you nine hours after her husband was murdered. Should I have occasion to change my mind? And by the way, I can offer you an opportunity to change it for me. Archie, where's the bullet? Give it to Mr. Kramer. Now, Mr. Kramer, this will be pointless if you found the weapon that killed him. Have you? No. It will also be pointless unless you have found the bullet that killed him. Have you? Yes. Then I suggest that you have your lab compare this bullet with that one. If you find that they were shot by the same gun, let me know at once and I'll have some information. I would of course want to see the lab report certified. Where did you get this bullet? I'll tell you. I won't when I get your report. By God, this is pertinent. This is evidence. I'll take you down, both of you. Nonsense. It's evidence. Of what? I don't know and neither do you. If it wasn't fired by the gun that killed Mr. Hazen, it's evidence of nothing. I'm not indulging in a prank, man. Mr. Kramer. There's a possibility that the bullets will match and if so, it will indeed be evidence. Let me know. Kramer left at 3:20. Wolf will come. Course, stuck to his usual routine from four to six upstairs with the orchids. But I spent the afternoon like a hen on hot bricks. It's a simple matter to do a bullet comparison. I expected to hear from Kramer by 4:30 or 5. I didn't. It wasn't until after 6:00 clock that the doorbell rang. But to my surprise, it wasn't Kramer. Theodore wait to see you or one of the dinner guests. The one that want you. No. I've been pestered enough on a matter in which I have no interest. Tell him so and don't. I'm not going to pester you. I'm going to hire you. Sir, you not only intrude, you presume. Archie, show him out. All right, I started wrong. I'll try again. Mrs. Barry, Hazen came to see you this morning and left a gun with you. Where is it? Intrusion, presumption and now we're foolery. I must insist. Damn it. I know she did. She told me so. She also wanted to hire you, but you wouldn't take her check. So I want to hire you. She's at the DA's office now. They're going to charge her with murder. Please, you gotta let me hire you. Nero Wolf's office. Aren't you Goodwin? Speaking.

[Lucy Hazen]

It's Lucy Hazen. May I speak to Nero Wolf, please? It's urgent.

[Nero Wolf]

One moment, please. The woman who brought the sausage this morning. Urgent. Yes? Mrs. Hayen?

[Lucy Hazen]

Yes, Mr. Wolf. I'm about to be arrested.

[Nero Wolf]

Where are you?

[Lucy Hazen]

At the DA's office? I don't know.

[Nero Wolf]

Say only what you must on the telephone.

[Lucy Hazen]

I'm in a booth for the door closed.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, boy. It's probably not only heard but also recorded. All right.

[Lucy Hazen]

He said I could phone a lawyer and I don't know any except my husband and I don't want him.

[Nero Wolf]

We.

[Lucy Hazen]

Will you get one for me?

[Nero Wolf]

Yes. I'll send one to you and then you can decide whether to engage him.

[Lucy Hazen]

But I want to engage you too. You said you would if I needed you.

[Nero Wolf]

I said I would. See how very well I'm engaged. One question. Have you disclosed any of your conversation with me? Yes or no?

[Lucy Hazen]

No.

[Nero Wolf]

Satisfactory. The lawyer's name is Nathaniel Parker. I'll get him there as soon as possible, but say nothing more to them until you speak to Mr. Parker. Mr. Weed, that was timely. It was Mrs. Hay on the phone. She is now my client. And take my money. No, sir. But I want to help. I don't see why. You're not obliged to see and I'm not obliged to explain. Why do you think Mrs. Hayden killed her husband? I don't. She didn't. I'd taken your money. What were you going to ask me to do? I don't know exactly. I was going to. To consult you. I wanted to know what you did with the gun. Have the police got it? Mr. Weed, I am acting for her now and you are the enemy. Or one of them. What if you killed Mr. Hazen or know who did? My God. Look, this is straight. You can cut off this arm if it will help, or any. I have no use for your arm. But some information might be helpful. When did you last see Mr. Hazen? This morning at the morgue. I went there to identify him by request. Alive. At his house last night. At what hour? Around half past nine. That's as close as I can come. And the circumstances? There were people there for dinner. Clients of Hazen's. After dinner, Hazen told Lucy that we were going to discuss a business matter and she left. I left soon after that and that was the last I saw of him. Alive, there with them. How did you spend the next six hours? I went home to bed. You were associated with Mr. Hazen and his business? I was in his employ. In what capacity? Mostly I write stuff. You know, handouts, plugs, the usual junk. Also, I was supposed to use my contacts. I was a newspaper man when Hazen hired me a little more than a year ago. Well, if you. They were going to discuss a business matter, why did you leave? Well, I wasn't needed or wanted. And why were you there at all? Well, maybe I ought to give you a different answer than the one I gave the da the right answer. Even if it makes you think I killed him, which I didn't. If you did Mr. Weed, you're doomed no matter what answers you give. Hazen like to have me in the with his wife because he knew how I felt about her. God only knows how he knew. I certainly tried not to show it and I thought I did pretty well. And I'm sure she doesn't know, but he did. He was a remarkable man. Yeah. That's why I was invited to dinner last night. I don't think he expected to see me squirm. He didn't have to. He knew how I felt. He was a sadist and a damned subtle one. And your feeling for her was that returned? Certainly not. I was just a guy that worked for her husband. Rather a forlorn situation for you. Yeah, forlorn is right. Another thing you might want to know. I think there was something screwy about his business. Oh? In what way? Oh, take the four people who were there last night. Why did Mrs. Oliver, an extremely wealthy widow, pay him 2,000? Thousand bucks a month? She needs public relations like I need a hole in the head. And Mrs. Talbot, a banker's wife. Maybe her husband could use a PR expert. But why her? And Jules Coury. What can public relations do for an inventor? And Ambrose Peertis is the screwiest of all. He already uses one of the big PR operators, the Cadre Associates. But personally he's paid hazen more than $40,000 this past year. I'm. I'm not supposed to know this. I got curious and looked at the records one day. Did he have any other clients? About a dozen. But his total take was over a quarter of a million a year. Interesting. Mr. Weed, will you be available for further questioning, say this evening? Sure, but why not now? I must arrange a lawyer for my client. Archie, get Mr. T.O. parker. Sit down, Mr. Parker. You've spoken to my client? I've just come from there. She's our client now. Ah. I stopped in instead of phoning because I have to deliver this at her request. The key to Mrs. Hazen's house and written authority from her to enter her house to get something. To get something? Yes, if you want to. An iron box and a chest of drawers in Hazen's bedroom. You remove the bottom drawer, pry up the board, it slides on and the boxes un underneath. She doesn't know what's in it, but a year ago, Hazen lifted the board and showed her the box. He told her if he died, she was to have it opened by a locksmith and burn the contents without looking at them. You'll be acting legally on her instructions. Through her attorney. I'll use my discretion. I'm sure you will. I'd like to be present when it's open, but I have an appointment. Shall I go there now? Will the police be there? I wouldn't think so. He wasn't shot there. Do I wear gloves? No, you have authority. Oh. I'm off then. Archie. Yes? Take your gun. I stood across the street from the Hazen house. I was glad I brought the gun. The house was dark except for a tiny sliver of light at the bottom edge of a window on the third floor. A sliver you might leave if you weren't quite thorough enough when you arranged a drape. It wouldn't be the maid. Her room was in the basement. And why only that one light? At 9:30 at night I crossed over, used the key and entered the house very quietly. I climbed the stairs to the third floor.

[Lucy Hazen]

I've done that.

[Nero Wolf]

A door at the front of the house was slightly a jar. Through it I could see part of the bed drapes over a window in the back of a woman's head. She was sitting in a chair facing away from me. There is no sense in this.

[Lucy Hazen]

There certainly isn't, Mr. Corey. I don't think it's here. It could be in Lucy's room. That would be like him.

[Nero Wolf]

All right, let's try it.

[Lucy Hazen]

Look in the doorway.

[Nero Wolf]

Don't anyone move. This gun is loaded. Who are you? Billy the Kid. Now back up, please. Stand against the wall. I see the ladies purses around the bed with the gentlemen, please. Fill their wallets there too carefully, please. I'd hate to have to use this gun. You wouldn't dare shoot. Oh, I assure you I would. Then I should warn you. I'll aim for the shoulder or the leg, but I'm not a very good shot.

[Lucy Hazen]

Are you a burglar?

[Nero Wolf]

No, ma'. Am. Then what do you want? I want you to tell me who you are and what you're doing here. But you have taken our wallet. Yes, sir. So I can check your identity as you tell me. Just to make sure. I'll let the start with you, shall we? My name is Jules Hori. Is it important why we are here? Okay, the ID checks. You, ma'. Am.

[Lucy Hazen]

Mrs. Victor Oliver. As you can see. Are you from the police?

[Nero Wolf]

No. Are you worried? You, sir? I've seen your picture in the papers on the business pages. I'm Ambrose Purdis. What is the point in this? Time in time, at least just you, ma'. Am. And it's an easy guess. Mrs. Talbot. I presume? Yes.

[Lucy Hazen]

I'm Ann Talbot.

[Nero Wolf]

Now that I know all your names, it's only fair that you should know mine. Archie Goodwin. I work for a man you may have heard of. Nero Wolf, the private detective. He's been hired by Mrs. Barry Hazen. I have the key to the house and her written authority to enter. Why are you here? No. How'd you get in? Who has the key? Oh, okay then. Okay. We do it the hard way. You will take off your clothes and pile them on the floor, including your shoes and socks or stockings. But I think not your underwear. I'll think about that one.

[Lucy Hazen]

I most certainly will not.

[Nero Wolf]

Let's just pretend you're at the beach or a pool. Do you want me to have to peel? You don't think I wouldn't? Let's start with the gloves. I want them too. Is this necessary? Is it so important how we got in? Yes. There were no keys in Hazen's pockets.

[Lucy Hazen]

We don't have a key. The maid let us in. She has gone out. But when she comes back you can ask her.

[Nero Wolf]

She'll deny it. You see, I paid her to let us in and to go away for the evening. Aha. Yeah, I think I believe you, Mr. Corey. In any case, that can be checked. Hold it a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I have something to say. Say. Yeah? Are you calling the police? No. Come on, say it first. You swear you're not a policeman? No, I told you who I am.

[Lucy Hazen]

He's Archie Goodwin. I've seen him at the Flamingo.

[Nero Wolf]

And a private detective. Right then. You do things for money. We will pay you $50,000 if you will leave this house and forget that you've been here. Half of it in cash tomorrow morning and the other half later. We'll give you a satisfactory guarantee. Perhaps something in writing. How much later? That's hard to say. It's delicate. We would need to be sure of your forgetting until certain difficulties have ended. Pretty vague. All right, you can collect your wallets and bags. No funny moves. Now. Look, I'm not calling the police, Mr. Curtis. I'm calling Nero Wolf. Yes, me. Could we use 50 grand in the box? No, I haven't got to that yet. I'm in Hazen's bedroom. There are four people with me. The four that came to dinner last night. They were in this room looking for something. Hadn't found it. Purdis just offered me 50 grand to go away and forget I was here. I'll split it with you. He'd probably double It. Are you intact? Sure. I'm just going to let you know to expect us all in about half an hour. We will double it. $100,000. Get it. What would I tell my mother if I had one? All right, now you people have a choice. Either I phone Inspector Kramer and tell him everything or you can come and talk it over with Nero Wolf and you may have two minutes to consider it, starting now.

[Lucy Hazen]

Listen, Mr. Goodwin, we were looking for something that belongs to us. We're not thieves, we're respectable.

[Nero Wolf]

I'm sorry. Don't waste it on me. I just run the errands. It's either Nero Wolf or the police. If you pick Nero Wolf, go downstairs and get two taxis. You will get in one of the taxis and wait till I come down and get in the other one. I'll be down a couple of minutes. Oh, there's one complication. If any of you split, I'll phone the police immediately. I would rather not, but I'd have to. Well, do we have any alternative? Let's go. There's your box. Ah, you haven't opened it? No, sir. Save that for you. The four people you mentioned, they're all here in the front room. I thought you'd want to do this first. Shall I open it? The lock will be a cinch. This will be distasteful. Go ahead. Okay. Any trouble finding it?

[Lucy Hazen]

No.

[Nero Wolf]

It's exactly where it was supposed to be, under the bottom drawer. I got there just in time. Another hour or two they probably would have found it out. There we are. Well, it sure is distasteful. Empty. Just as well, huh? It would probably have presented us with a problem. I presume he decided it was a mistake to tell his wife of it and remove the contents elsewhere in the house. I doubt that. So do I lock it up and leave it on your desk? Have a gun in your hand when you admit them and go to your desk? Proceed. If you would all sit down, please. I like eyes at my level. Thank you. This shouldn't take long. First the situation. I shall not resort to euphemism. You were being blackmailed by Mr. Hazen either. Collectively. Please don't interrupt. If it was interesting it was removed when Mr. Goodwin found you in that house surreptitiously looking for something and you offered him a large sum of money. So much.

[Lucy Hazen]

I didn't. Mr. Perdis did.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, phooey. You were there. Did you object? I am acting for my client, Mrs. Hazen. She's being held under suspicion of killing her husband and has Given me certain information. This is one item. One day about a year ago, her husband Goodwin showed her a metal box he'd hidden in his bedroom. He told her that if he died, she should have the box opened by a locksmith and burn the contents without looking at them. And it was to get that box. Mr. Goodwin went there this evening with Mrs. Hazen's key and authority as it on the desk. So it was there.

[Lucy Hazen]

Oh, God.

[Nero Wolf]

I have a proposal to make. But first a question or two. My objective, of course, is to demonstrate that Mrs. Hazen did not kill her husband. Yesterday evening all of you dined at her table. I want to know about your conversation with Mr. Hazen after his wife and Mr. Weed left. What was said? Nothing. Nonsense. Mr. Hazen had told his wife he was going to discuss something with you. Now what? Nothing of any importance. He opened the champagne. We discussed the stock market. He asked Mrs. Talbot what plays she had seen. He got Paradis talking about the ships. He talked about poisons.

[Lucy Hazen]

He talked about his wife's father. He said his wife's father was a great inventor, a genius.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, please. If he discussed some aspect of his peculiar relations with you, naturally you didn't tell the police about it. But I know of those relations and the police don't I? I intend to know what was said.

[Lucy Hazen]

You don't understand. You couldn't understand unless you knew him. He didn't want to discuss anything. He just wanted to have us there together and we had to go. It was his special kind of torture. He wanted each of us to know about the others and to know that the others knew about us. He liked to see us trying to act as him. It was just a dinner party. You didn't know him.

[Nero Wolf]

He was a demon. I'm beginning to see that. Did he reveal to any of you the nature of his hold on the others last evening or at any other time? Any hint at all? Reveal no is not his style. I think he hinted. For instance, poison. I thought he hinted. But no particular particular no.

[Lucy Hazen]

You said you had a proposal.

[Nero Wolf]

I do. It's likely he kept in that box whatever support he had for his demands on you. The box will be placed in my safe. I don't desire or intend to inspect his contents. But Mrs. Hazen is my client and I am committed to protect both her personal property. I will surrender the contents of the box to you, the four of you, for $1 million. Oh, God. You don't mean it. I shall expect one quarter of the million from each of you, either in currency or certified checks within 24 hours. There's no question of extortion by Mrs. Hazen on me. We haven't seen the contents of the box. I. I only say as a agent you may have the at that price if you want them. You haven't opened the box? No, I haven't. What if it's empty? You get nothing and you pay nothing. The box will be opened here tomorrow at midnight with all of you present or earlier if and when you meet the terms. If it's empty. Well, so much for that.

[Lucy Hazen]

It's a short time to raise so much money.

[Nero Wolf]

I did not give you longer. The police would no doubt regard the contents of that box as evidential in their investigation of a murder. I cannot undertake to withhold my knowledge of it longer than 24 hours. So I shall await your pleasure when I undress for bed that night. Night. I made assorted tries at deciding what Wolf was up to and what was next on his program and didn't like any of them. As it turned out. The next thing on the program wasn't decided by me or him. Inspector Kramer arrived at our doorstep at three o' clock the next day and he was looking pleased. Too pleased. Okay, I want to hear it from you. What Mrs. Hazen came to you for yesterday. Kramer? It shouldn't be necessary for me. He's booked for murder. On what evidence? We have the gun. Oh, indeed. We found Hazen's car parked near the scene of the murder. The gun was in the dashboard compartment. And you proved it was the murder weapon? Definitely. And we have traced the gun. It was bought by Hazen 6 years ago and he had a permit for it. He kept it in a drawer in his bedroom. But you haven't connected Mrs. Hazen to the gun. Oh, haven't we? How about this? Hazen was killed about midnight. At 8 o' clock the next morning the maid went up to call him for breakfast. The drawer was open and she saw the gun. You still hadn't connected. Shortly after 11 the maid was tidying. The drawer was still open but the gun was gone. Mrs. Hazen, the only other person in the house during that time, had just left the house, presumably to keep an 11:30 appointment with you. So maybe you know why she put the gun in the car. Let's hear you. What? What kind of gun was it? It's your turn to talk. I don't like this. I'm sure you'd like. Oh, you're not squeezing it out of me, though you think you are. I would tell you nothing and risk the consequences if it weren't for one thing. And what's that? I need some information that I can only get from you. I have to know where the gun came from that Mrs. Hazen left with me yesterday. Now, if you. Look. She left a gun with you? Yes. Yeah. I'll tell you about it and give it to you if you give me its history at the earliest possible moment. I want your word. You won't get it. Mrs. Hazen is charged with murder. If she left a gun with you, it's evidence in a murder investigation. No, it's evidence in my investigation, but not in yours. You have your gun, the one the murderer used. How can it embarrass you to tell me about this one? You're gonna tell me what? What she said about it. I am. Okay. Go ahead. I have your word? Yes. Get the gun, Archie. Right. Right. Oh, by the way, there's a question that wasn't answered. What make is your gun? I mean, the one that killed him. Drexel.32. So is this. Of course. There are millions of Drexel.32. It was fired yesterday by Mr. Goodwin to get a bullet. The bullet I gave you. That could have been evidence. Now we know it isn't. Mr. Kramer. All right, let's hear it first from you. And then Goodwin comes down to the station for a detailed statement. Very well. I don't get it. I have never known you to take a murderer for a client. Whether it's just your goddamn luck or what, I don't know. But you haven't. Why did you take her? Oh, I asked Mr. Goodwin's opinion. He said she was innocent. His judgment of women under 30 is infallible. There is narrow wolf me in a phone booth at the DA's office and it may be tapped. As you know, they should be finished with me in another hour or so. I thought I should tell you. They were curious about guns. Then a phone call came and they weren't. I already know. Mr. Kramer phoned me. The gun we gave him was traced without difficulty. It was purchased by Mrs. Hazen's father, Titus Postel, and he committed suicide within two years. Go. Wow. So presumably it was in our client's position. Not yet established, but we should know soon. Meanwhile, I've gotten Saul and given him an errand. I need you come home at once. They haven't released me yet. They will now. I've made a deal with Mr. Craybar. What deal? Not now. Mrs. Oliver and Mr. Pertis are already in the front room. Mr. Corey will arrive any moment and Mrs. Talbot hopes she'll be here by 10 o'. Clock. It's nearly that now. So the charade is on. Of course. And it should be very interesting. Hurry home watching. Please sit down, Mrs. Talbot. Well, since all four of you are here, I assume that you're prepared to act on my proposal.

[Lucy Hazen]

Mrs. Oliver, this is a cashier's check for $250,000 made out to me. I'll endorse it or I won't.

[Nero Wolf]

Yes, I will, of course. Cost depend on what's in the box.

[Lucy Hazen]

Mrs. Talbot, I. I have a certified check for $65,000 and $40,000 in cash. I'll pay the rest as soon as I can. I tried. I did the best I could.

[Nero Wolf]

Right, Mr. Purdis? I have a certified check for my share. Full amount. Yes, Mr. Cory. I have nothing. Oh, indeed. And why are you here? I want to know what's in the box. If there's anything worth a quarter of a million to me, I'll buy it. The deadline is midnight. You'd have 90 minutes. I don't think so. I don't know what you are doing, but whatever it is, I want to know what's in the box. Yes. This. This situation wasn't covered by the time terms of my proposal. Two of you are prepared to comply with the terms and shouldn't suffer for Mr. Cory's dissent. As for you, Mrs. Talbot, I'm willing to accept your declaration of good faith that you've done your best. You'll of course commit yourself in writing to pay the balance. But as for you, Mr. Cury, if you're willful, so am I. Whatever the box contains, the that relates to you will be turned over to the police at midnight. Open the box. Ay.

[Lucy Hazen]

It's empty. Empty?

[Nero Wolf]

You've got it. You had a key. Use your head, Paris. He didn't know it was empty. Now why would. Well, you're wrong. I did know it was empty. I knew it last night when I made my proposal. You knew I made the proposal not out of caprice to plague you, but for a purpose. And that purpose has been served.

[Lucy Hazen]

Who do you call it calling?

[Nero Wolf]

My man in the kitchen. Fritz. Inspector Kramer's there. He's arrived. The police. Let me call the police. You have the gun. Archie. Stand at the door. No one is to leave. Ah, Mr. Kramer. The situation has developed as I expected. You may bring Mrs. Hazen in now. We. No, I will not. As I told you before, her presence is essential. Yes, I am prepared to name A substitute? Yes. Damn you. You told the police this was all a game. No. Are you a dunce? Would I contrive such a hocus pocus just to pass the time confounded? Sit down.

[Lucy Hazen]

I'm.

[Nero Wolf]

No one is going. Mr. Goodwin wouldn't shoot you, but he wouldn't have to. Do Woody, sit down. I asked you if you'd opened the box and I said no, I had not. That was necessary. In fact it was Mr. Goodwin who had opened the box and it was empty.

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't believe that. It's a trick.

[Nero Wolf]

I did concoct a trick. But it's a fact that the box was empty. That's what you have a right to know. Well, three of you. I don't believe the box was empty. I think you're lying. I don't. Why would he? There's $605,000 here ready for him.

[Lucy Hazen]

Why did you do this, Mr. Wolf?

[Nero Wolf]

Believe me, Mrs. Talbot, it was necessary to expose a murderer, which I am now prepared to do. Come in, Mr. Kramer. Oh, Archie, find a chair for Mrs. Hay. I have to say something to these people first, Wolf. Well, if it's brief, Mr. Kramer. Now I'm here because Wolf told me that you four people would be here and I wanted to know what he had to say to you. I brought Mrs. Hazen because I was convinced by something Wolf said that it would be in the interest of justice for her to be here. I want to make it plain that as an officer of the law I don't rely on any private detective to do my job for me. And once more no private detective is going to interfere. Thank you, Mr. Kramer. Sergeant Ste. Mrs. Hazen is your prisoner and of course it's your duty to guard her. But I doubt if she intends any outbreak. If you wish to stand by the murderer of Mr. Hazen, I suggest you move to Mr. Cooley. That's my name. Indeed it is, Mr. Kramer. I promised you I'd offer a substitute for Mrs. Hazen for the murder of Barry Hazen. Though I have no conclusive evidences of this moment, I have some highly suggestive facts. But you said you had it. Mr. Hazen was a blackmailer. He extorted large sums of money from the four people in this room using his public relations business as a cover. He had in his possession.

[Lucy Hazen]

You can't prove that.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, f. You have in your bag a check for $250,000. For what? I advise you, madam, for your own good, hold your tongue. Mr. Hazen had in his possession various objects. I don't know what to substantiate his blackmailing demands. And last evening I told these four people that I'd secured these objects and that I'd surrender them for $1 million. I gave them 24 hours to meet my terms. They are here. Three of the objects are here. No, I don't know where the objects are. The people are here. Three of them came prepared to pay. Mr. Cory did not. And that's your basis for accusing this man? Will go better if you keep your questions until I'm through. I was acting on the premise, certainly were the test that one of Hazen's victims had killed him. And to kill him would have been futile unless he got the object that had made it possible for Hazen to bleed him. Now, this evening, three people came prepared to buy those objects from me. Not Mr. Khoury. He knew I had nothing to support my threat. Even when I told him that the objects pertaining to him would be given to the police in 90 minutes, he was unmoved. Mr. Curry, do you want to comment? No. This is fascinating. I thought I had decided not to bring my share of the money because I didn't believe he had anything that threatened anybody. Get back to facts, Wolf. Well, for a fact, I submit the conversation at the gathering Monday evening after Mrs. Hazen and Mr. Weed left, of course, you and your staff have it in detail, but you didn't know that Hazen was a blackmailer, did you? And that he not only bled his, he was pleased to torment them. In that conversation, he introduced topics that obviously referred to the pinch he had them in. For instance, poison. I don't know which of those present that touched. I'm not concerned. But one of his topics pointed clearly at Mr. Cory. Mrs. Oliver, can you tell me again what he said about Mrs. Hazen's father?

[Lucy Hazen]

Well, he said her father was a great genius. An inventor.

[Nero Wolf]

Yes. Mrs. Hazen's father, Titus Postel, had been associated with Mr. Coury. Inspector Kramer, you phoned me this evening to say that the gun I'd given you had been the property of Titus Postel and he committed suicide with it five years ago. And soon after that, on the telephone, Mr. Coury informed me he'd be present this evening but was declining my proposal. Yes. Mitch Cory. Nothing. Now, the guns. When Mr. Cory went to that grotesque dinner party Monday Evening, he had Mr. Postel's gun with him. You can prove he had it? Certainly not at the moment. I'm telling you what happened, not what I can prove. During the evening, he found or made an opportunity to go to Mr. Hayes bedroom. Probably on a pretext of using the washroom.

[Lucy Hazen]

He did. I remember that he would.

[Nero Wolf]

Thank you Mrs. Oliver. But later if you please. Mr. Coury then switched the guns in Mr. Hazen's drawer with a double purpose. First, so that Hazen would find a gun there if he looked for it. Second, to implicate Mrs. Hazen. He intended to leave Hazen's gun in the car after he. He killed Hazen. The police would of course learn that it had been Hazen's kept in that drawer. And when they found the other gun there they naturally assumed that she'd put it there in a witless effort to mislead them. Which is what happened, is it not Mr. Kramer? Your telling is. Go on, Mrs. Hazen. The gun that had belonged to your father, was it in your possession? When did you see it last?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't understand. When they told me the gun I brought you was the one my father shot himself with. I thought they were lying. I don't understand.

[Nero Wolf]

No wonder. Neither do the police. Did you ever have that gun? Your father's?

[Lucy Hazen]

I had it for a while. They gave it to me after. After he died. I kept it with some of his things but it disappeared.

[Nero Wolf]

How long after his death did it disappeared?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't know. It was about a year later that I noticed it was gone.

[Nero Wolf]

Do you any idea who took it?

[Lucy Hazen]

I don't know. But I thought perhaps Mrs. Corey had. I didn't ask her. She thought I shouldn't keep it because it only reminded me. Is it true that my husband was a blackmailer?

[Nero Wolf]

Yes. My God.

[Lucy Hazen]

A husband who was a blackmailer. A father.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, I can relieve your mind about that anyway. About your father. He didn't commit suicide. He was murdered by Mr. K. Another one you are piling it on. Oh, your aplomb is admirable, sir. Of course you're counting on what I said earlier, that I have no evidence. But you're too sanguine. That evidence not only exists, it's available to me. I'm obliged to Mr. Hazen for a valuable hint. His remark that Mrs. Hazen's father was a great inventor and a genius. That suggested to me that you might have cheated him out of the proceeds of his genius. So I put a man on it. Saul Pencer. Mr. Kramer knows his capacities. What did he report? Oh no sir. You'll have to hear that from Mr. Kramer when he lays his charge. But I can assure you that Mr. Panzer is at your office at this moment guarding evidence that will definitely connect you with Mr. Postel's death. Really, there's a limit. I've had enough of this, so if you will excuse. Stop him, Sergeant. I'll have to leave it with two loose ends. First, the object or objects that Hazen had collected were never found. Unless they were found by Mrs. Oliver, Mrs. Talbot or Curtis, so we'll never know. Second, the fee that Wolf had certainly earned. Lucy refused to take any of Hazen's leadings, wouldn't take the house. But there is a chance that she'll get a chunk of Corey's pile eventually on account of the evidence Saul dug up that Corey had stolen a couple of Titus Post sells inventions. But Corey, who is now locked up while his lawyers hop around from court to court, has admitted nothing. And neither has his wife. So Wolf hasn't collected a fee yet. As for a third point, you might be curious about whether Lucy and Theodore Reed have found out how they feel about each other. You can have one guess if you need more than one. What do you suppose makes the world go right? Rex Stout.