New National Guard Show xxxxxx (02) Want Ad

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio — New National Guard Show (02): "Want Ad"

Release Date: January 17, 2026
Starring: Ruth Hussey as Virginia Lane
Host/Producer: Harolds Old Time Radio / C.P. McGregor
Featured Voices: Wendell Niles, Barry Whitaker, Dorothy Edwards, Eddie McKay

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Episode Overview

This episode revisits a classic radio drama from the golden age, spotlighting the comedic play "Want Ad." The story centers on Virginia Lane, who—on a bet—sets out to prove she can easily land any job, only to unwittingly apply for a fictional position as a Serbian cook. The result is a witty, fast-paced series of misunderstandings, practical jokes, and old-fashioned romantic sparks.

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Key Discussion Points & Narrative Highlights

1. The Job-Hunting Bet

• Setting: The day after Christmas, two friends—Virginia Lane and Dorothy Edwards—debate how hard it is to land a job.

• Challenge: Dorothy doubts Virginia's claim that “you can do anything you make up your mind to do.” Virginia insists she can get any job Dorothy chooses.

  • Memorable Exchange:

    Dorothy Edwards (02:14): "I still maintain that you can do anything you make up your mind to do."
    Virginia Lane: "And that includes getting a job."
    Dorothy: "Any job."
    Virginia: "Any job."

2. The Serbian Cook Position (02:41 – 06:16)

• Dorothy, playfully cruel, finds a want ad for a cook “experienced in Serbian cuisine—$500 per month.”

• Virginia, though clueless about Serbian food, agrees and applies. She meets the enigmatic Barry Whitaker, whose odd interview style hints at romance more than employment.

  • Notable Moment:

    Barry Whitaker (04:22): "But I've found there's a sparkle to the food when a woman is still anticipating the time when she'll cook for her man. You know, you're very lovely."

• Virginia bluffs her Serbian cooking expertise, is asked to make “krovotnik.”

3. The Wild Kravotnik Chase (06:15 – 07:25)

• Virginia desperately seeks a recipe for “krovotnik,” calling Serbian cafes (who refuse), and tries the library.

  • Comic Bit:

    Dorothy Edwards (06:25): "Your honesty appalls me. Why don't you try the public library? Here I am on your team."

• At the library, Virginia bumps into Eddie McKay, who reveals that Barry Whitaker’s want ad was actually part of a gag he orchestrated to prank Barry with job-seeking cooks.

  • Revelation:

    Eddie McKay (07:18): "An ad for Serbian cook. He was deluged."
    Virginia Lane: "What is your friend's name?"
    Eddie McKay: "Barry Whitaker."
    Virginia Lane (07:26): "Oh, no, no."

4. Act 2 — The Fallout & Farce (08:41 – 12:30)

• Virginia, now knowing the job was a joke, cooks up a mock “krovotnik” dish with turnips, vanilla, radishes, and even a piece of old rubber to maintain her pride.

  • Comic Cooking Scene:

    Virginia Lane (09:45): "Yes, and a piece of an old rubber innitude topped off by whipped cream and maraschino cherries. Do you think he'll like it?"

• She brings the dish to Barry. Both play along, but the ruse is mutual—Barry confesses he just wanted to see Virginia again.

  • Charming Apology:

    Barry Whitaker (11:00): "But I had no way of knowing when you came to apply that day who you were. Please, can't I see you?"
    Virginia Lane: "Sorry, I've got to make some Kravotnik for a homesick Serbian sailor on shore leave."

• Barry continues to pursue her, even sending flowers. Their banter leads to a semi-date, with Dorothy teasing Virginia about Barry’s charms.

5. Final Gag & Light Romance (11:46 – 12:30)

• Barry drives Virginia to Eddie's house to even an "old score." There, he reveals yet another want ad he placed: “Best prices paid for secondhand Christmas trees,” leading to a yard overflowing with trees—a comedic callback that wraps the episode.

  • Closing Laugh:

    Barry Whitaker (12:14): "Best prices paid for secondhand Christmas trees." Virginia Lane: "Oh."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Virginia's Optimism and Sarcasm

• Virginia Lane (02:14): "I still maintain that you can do anything you make up your mind to do."
• Virginia Lane (09:45): "A piece of an old rubber innitude topped off by whipped cream and maraschino cherries. Do you think he'll like it?"

Barry's Flirtatious Wit

• Barry Whitaker (04:22): "But I've found there's a sparkle to the food when a woman is still anticipating the time when she'll cook for her man. You know, you're very lovely."
• Barry Whitaker (11:00): "Please, can't I see you?"

Eddie's Mischief

• Eddie McKay (07:18): "An ad for Serbian cook. He was deluged."

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Important Timestamps

• [02:00] – Virginia and Dorothy’s job-hunting bet
• [02:41] – The Serbian cook job is chosen
• [04:04] – Virginia bluffs her way through the interview
• [06:16] – The search for “krovotnik” and library scene
• [07:26] – The prank is revealed; the job was a joke
• [09:11] – Virginia’s farcical recipe; anger toward Barry
• [10:09] – Confrontation and mutual forgiveness between Virginia and Barry
• [11:46] – Virginia “thaws out” to Barry; drive to Eddie’s house
• [12:14] – Christmas tree want ad payoff and group laughter

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Tone and Style

The dialogue sparkles with quick wit and classic 1940s sexual tension. The comedic sequence hinges on misunderstandings, gender roles, and Virginia’s spirited independence—blending farce with gentle romantic charm. The episode is a delightful artifact of its era, blending situational humor with a dash of old-time sentiment.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t listened:
This episode is a comedic snapshot of post-war American radio, full of frothy banter, clever setups, and timeless human foibles. Even without deep nostalgia for the Golden Age of Radio, the fast-paced repartee and playful twists make “Want Ad” an enjoyable, feel-good listen. The performances—particularly Ruth Hussey’s—carry warmth, pluck, and a wink to the audience.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Wendell Niles]

Hollywood presents. The new national guard show. Yes, from the cinema capital of the world, we present the new National Guard Show. Here now is your producer, C.P.

[Barry Whitaker]

Mcgregor.

[Narrator]

Thank you, Wendell Niles. We welcome you, ladies and gentlemen, to the new National Guard Show. A series of new and brilliant dramatic radio productions designed for your enjoyment and starring the foremost names of motion pictures. The National Guard, our great civilian army brings you Ruth Hussey in a story titled Want Ad. And now the curtain rises on Act 1 of Want Ad starring Ruth Hussey as Virginia Lane. It was the day after Christmas that a want ad appeared in the Help Wanted column. Just an ordinary want ad, but it held many implications for lovely Virginia Lane of the Highland Park Lanes. And the way Virginia became implicated was unusual indeed. It all tea one afternoon because of an argument between Virginia and her friend Dorothy Edwards.

[Dorothy Edwards]

That last statement, Virginia, was positively ridiculous.

[Virginia Lane]

You think so?

[Dorothy Edwards]

Yes, I do. You have no idea what's involved in getting a job these days.

[Virginia Lane]

And you do?

[Dorothy Edwards]

Well, I worked for a while before I got married. It's difficult, darling. You should get out, get bumped around a little. You wouldn't make such a rash statement.

[Virginia Lane]

I still maintain that you can do anything you make up your mind to do.

[Dorothy Edwards]

And that includes getting a job.

[Virginia Lane]

That includes getting a job.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Any job.

[Virginia Lane]

Any job.

[Dorothy Edwards]

I wish I were.

[Virginia Lane]

Don't worry. Well, get the newspaper. I'll even let you pick out the job.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Darling, don't you think you should wait until the holidays are over?

[Virginia Lane]

I should say not. I want to prove it to you.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Now, this is fantastic. But you asked for it. Give me the paper. I'll find a dilly.

[Virginia Lane]

It's got to be within reason, you know. Oh, this is. This is wanted cook.

[Dorothy Edwards]

$500 per month. Must be experienced in Serbian cuisine. Apply tomorrow, 26 Hampton Road.

[Virginia Lane]

That's unfair.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Oh, no, it isn't. Any woman should know how to cook.

[Virginia Lane]

But Serbian food. But I don't even know where Serbia is. Yes, I'm answering your ad in the newspaper for A cook, Young lady, that position has been filled for a considerable length of time.

[Barry Whitaker]

Who is it, Chalmers?

[Virginia Lane]

I was just telling this young lady.

[Barry Whitaker]

That the position of cook. Don't jump at conclusions, Chalmers. But I thought. Sir, must you constantly be thinking. Come in, won't you?

[Virginia Lane]

Thank you.

[Barry Whitaker]

We can talk here if you like.

[Virginia Lane]

Thank you.

[Barry Whitaker]

Lovely day, isn't it?

[Virginia Lane]

Yes, it is.

[Barry Whitaker]

May I help you with your coat?

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, no. I won't be here long. Will you please stop looking at me that way?

[Barry Whitaker]

Forgive me. I'm sorry. No. You're answering the ad in the newspaper, aren't you?

[Virginia Lane]

Yes. I'd very much like to have that job.

[Barry Whitaker]

You've had considerable experience, I tell you.

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, yes. Lately, I've been completely wrapped up in the Serbian cuisine.

[Barry Whitaker]

Fine. Now, I'm not so interested in your experience in Serbian cuisine. Obviously, you wouldn't have applied without that. But I am interested in your background. Are you married?

[Virginia Lane]

No.

[Barry Whitaker]

It's wonderful. I mean, I find my cooks usually stay on longer when they're single.

[Virginia Lane]

Well, I thought it was just the opposite.

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, it usually is. But I've found there's a sparkle to the food when a woman is still anticipating the time when she'll cook for her man. You know, you're very lovely.

[Virginia Lane]

I must remind you I came here only to apply for a job.

[Barry Whitaker]

Forgive me. Incidentally, my name's Barry Whitaker. I didn't get yours.

[Virginia Lane]

Please. I should think.

[Barry Whitaker]

No, in regard to this job, there have been many applicants anxious to get such an Excellent position. $500, you must admit, is a fine salary.

[Virginia Lane]

Yes. Yes, it is.

[Barry Whitaker]

However, I'll be happy to consider you with the others. If you could perhaps give me a sample of your Serbian cooking.

[Virginia Lane]

Why, yes. What would you like?

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, anything.

[Virginia Lane]

But what?

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, perhaps some crowatnik.

[Virginia Lane]

Cravatnik. Oh, of course.

[Barry Whitaker]

Then you know it. Delicious, isn't it?

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, very.

[Eddie McKay]

You.

[Barry Whitaker]

You could prepare it here.

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still employed, you know. Couldn't I prepare some tonight and bring it over tomorrow?

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, certainly. That'll be excellent. Now, if I may have your name.

[Virginia Lane]

Virginia Lane.

[Barry Whitaker]

Address?

[Virginia Lane]

10 Oak Knoll Drive, Highland Park. Ah.

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, thank you, Miss Lane. I'll see you tomorrow, then.

[Virginia Lane]

Yes. Mr. Whitaker.

[Announcer]

Yours is cinch.

[Dorothy Edwards]

You mean to tell me you got the job?

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, not yet, but all I have to do is to cook some krovotnik.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Sounds terrible.

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, he was. What?

[Narrator]

A wolf.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Oh, shh.

[Virginia Lane]

Don't bother me. Here's the number I want. Hello.

[Narrator]

This is Marikis the Serbia Mocambo.

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, Hello. I wonder if you'd be kind enough to tell me how you prepare Kravotnik.

[Narrator]

Kravotnik we do not have. But if we have, we do not tell trade secrets.

[Virginia Lane]

Hmm. This may be more difficult than I thought.

[Dorothy Edwards]

What's that, darling?

[Virginia Lane]

Well, I'm merely trying to be honest with you. And I'll bet I have to prepare some Kravotnik to get the job. I could just order it from a Serbian cafe.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Your honesty appalls me. Why don't you try the public library? Here I am on your team.

[Virginia Lane]

Say, that's a thought.

[Eddie McKay]

Hello, Virginia.

[Virginia Lane]

What are you doing? Going into the library.

[Eddie McKay]

That's where a lawyer spends all his time, Virginia, in libraries and jails. But yourself.

[Virginia Lane]

Well, I'm looking for a recipe for a Serbian dish called krovotnik, of all things. Don't ask me why.

[Eddie McKay]

That reminds me of a very funny thing.

[Virginia Lane]

What's that?

[Eddie McKay]

A friend of mine in town, an importer, had a Serbian client he really wanted to impress. The guy comes to town. So he puts on a big spread, calls a Serbian cafe and tells him to prepare everything Serbian, from soup to nuts. And when they get down there, this guy doesn't want any part of it. He orders ham and eggs.

[Virginia Lane]

That always happens.

[Eddie McKay]

Yes, but here's the payoff. I went down the next day and put an ad in the paper under his name.

[Virginia Lane]

I.

[Eddie McKay]

An ad for Serbian cook. He was deluged.

[Virginia Lane]

What is your friend's name?

[Eddie McKay]

Why, Barry Whitaker.

[Virginia Lane]

Oh, no, no.

[Narrator]

The curtain falls on Act 1 of Want Ads, starring Ruth Hussey. Act 2 in Just a moment, but first, this message from your announcer.

[Wendell Niles]

Young men, now is the time for you to get in the Guard. The new National Guard offers you a great opportunity to become part of our country's fighting forces and remain a civilian. As a member of your local Guard unit, you gain these important personal benefits. Enlistment in your rank at time of discharge if there's a vacancy. Valuable job training drill. Pay with additional longevity, a real chance for promotions and commissions, free credit toward retirement and association with the greatest bunch of fellows you'll ever know. You get all of this if you get in the Guard. Visit your local National Guard armory for further details. Now get the facts, then get in the Guard.

[Narrator]

Now, Act 2 of Want Ad, starring Ruth Hussey as Virginia Lane. Virginia is a very disillusioned job hunter. With the discovery that Barry Whitaker's advertisement for a cook was only a gag perpetrated by Eddie McCabe. And the more she thinks of the way Barry took Advantage of the gag at her expense, the more she smolders. Yes, there's fire in her eye as well as in the stove. She stands before as her friend Dorothy enters.

[Virginia Lane]

Well, darling, the bet's off.

[Dorothy Edwards]

What do you mean?

[Virginia Lane]

I said it's off. There was no job to be had in the beginning.

[Dorothy Edwards]

But the ad in the paper.

[Virginia Lane]

I'll tell you all about it later.

[Dorothy Edwards]

What in the world are you doing?

[Virginia Lane]

I'm cooking Kravotnik. I don't understand. He doesn't either. Thank goodness I didn't say anything to Eddie McKay.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Now I'm really in the dark.

[Virginia Lane]

Imagine the nerve of that man. Making me tear all over town looking for a Serbian dish that doesn't exist. Leading me to a job that doesn't exist. I give up.

[Dorothy Edwards]

But will you kindly tell me what is this mess?

[Virginia Lane]

Kravotnik.

[Dorothy Edwards]

What a combination. Cake flour, turnips, vanilla radishes.

[Virginia Lane]

Yes, and a piece of an old rubber innitude topped off by whipped cream and maraschino cherries. Do you think he'll like it? Hello, Mr. Whitaker.

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, Ms. Lane, I. I see you have your sample.

[Virginia Lane]

Yes, the Kravotnik. But you seem surprised.

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, no. It's just that this is such a rare dish, practically no one knows of it.

[Virginia Lane]

How true. Have the other applicants submitted their samples?

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, yes.

[Virginia Lane]

Were they good?

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, you can't imagine how good.

[Virginia Lane]

Is the job still open?

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, yes.

[Virginia Lane]

Then I'm sure you'll decide on me after you've tasted my Kravotnik. Mine is so economical too. It stretches so far.

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, fine.

[Virginia Lane]

Call me, won't you, when you've made your decision.

[Barry Whitaker]

Hello, is Virginia lane there?

[Virginia Lane]

Speaking.

[Barry Whitaker]

Ms. Lane, this is Barry Whitaker. I owe you an apology. Well, I spoke to Eddie McKay. He told me about meeting you at the library.

[Virginia Lane]

Did you speak to Eddie McKay? After eating my cravatnik, I hope.

[Barry Whitaker]

Unfortunately, yes. Oh, but please, Ms. Lane, this whole thing started out as a practical joke on me. I didn't mean to turn it on you. I only wanted to see you again.

[Virginia Lane]

Well, you certainly managed it in a strange way.

[Barry Whitaker]

But I had no way of knowing when you came to apply that day, who you were. Please, can't I see you?

[Virginia Lane]

Sorry, I've got to make some Kravotnik for a homesick Serbian sailor on shore leave.

[Dorothy Edwards]

Darling, I've never seen so many beautiful flowers. Your erstwhile would be employer. Well, when are you going to give him the tumble?

[Virginia Lane]

I'm sorry, I'm not interested.

[Dorothy Edwards]

I met him the other day. Very charming.

[Virginia Lane]

That's your opinion. As for me, it'll be a cold, cold day when I go out with him. Must you have the top down? It's 10 below zero.

[Barry Whitaker]

Oh, this is real Christmas weather. Besides, after the way you've acted toward me, I want you to thaw out gently.

[Virginia Lane]

Where are we going?

[Barry Whitaker]

Over to Eddie McKay's house. I want to thank him.

[Virginia Lane]

What for?

[Barry Whitaker]

For making it for me to meet you. I also want to even an old score. Here's Eddie's place.

[Virginia Lane]

Now, look, Barry. All the people and Eddie's front yard. It's like a forest.

[Barry Whitaker]

Well, maybe this had something to do with it. Right here in the want ad section. I placed it yesterday. Here, read it.

[Virginia Lane]

Best prices paid for secondhand Christmas trees. Oh.

[Narrator]

The curtain falls on Act 2 of Wantag, starring Ruth Hussey. Thank you, Ruth, for your appearance here with us on this performance and our sincere congratulations on a superb portrayal. Next week, ladies and gentlemen, our Citizens army, the National Guard, presents Brian Donlevy in a story you won't want to miss, entitled Turnabout. Be sure to join us, won't you? Until then, thanks for listening and cheerio. From Hollywood.

[Wendell Niles]

Our star appeared to the courtesy of the Hollywood Coordinating Committee, which arranges for the appearance of all stars in this program. This program is transcribed in Hollywood for release at this time. This is Wendell Niles saying so long and turning the program over to your local announcer will tell you where you can get the full details about your local unit of the National Guard.

[Virginia Lane]

Sam, It.