Our Miss Brooks 1949-07-03 July 4th Trip to Eagle Springs

Summary

Podcast Summary: Our Miss Brooks 1949-07-03 July 4th Trip to Eagle Springs

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: Our Miss Brooks 1949-07-03 July 4th Trip to Eagle Springs
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Release Date: July 3, 2025
• Description: Relive the Golden Age of Radio with classic episodes of beloved shows like Our Miss Brooks, The Shadow, Dragnet, and more. Join families as they gather around the radio to enjoy timeless stories and humor.

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Introduction

Our Miss Brooks centers around the witty and endearing English teacher, Connie Brooks, portrayed by Eve Arden. This particular episode, titled "July 4th Trip to Eagle Springs," delves into Miss Brooks' plans to escape the tensions at Madison High School over the Independence Day weekend. The episode masterfully blends humor, interpersonal dynamics, and light-hearted drama, capturing the essence of 1940s radio entertainment.

Setting the Stage

The episode opens with Miss Brooks expressing her excitement about the upcoming July 4th holiday. At [01:31], she shares her fondness for her students and her professional life, juxtaposing it with her fraught relationship with the school principal, Mr. Osgood Conklin.

Connie Brooks [01:31]: "I look forward to such a brief holiday with such keen anticipation. I like my work and I'm very fond of my pupils."

Conflict with Mr. Conklin

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the strained interactions between Miss Brooks and Mr. Conklin. At [02:19], Miss Brooks recounts an incident where she accidentally broke Mr. Conklin's glasses, leading to increased tension.

Connie Brooks [02:19]: "I like my work and I'm very fond of my pupils. Then there's the school principal, Mr. Osgood Conklin."

Their mutual harassment culminates in Miss Brooks' decision to take a trip to Eagle Springs to avoid further confrontations. At [04:34], she reveals her plan to Mrs. Davis.

Connie Brooks [04:34]: "I won't be running into him for the next few days. Thank goodness. I'm going away for the July 4th weekend."

Preparation for the Trip

Miss Brooks' preparations are met with concern from Mrs. Davis, highlighting Miss Brooks' modest salary and determination. At [04:51], Miss Brooks asserts her commitment to the trip despite financial strains.

Connie Brooks [04:51]: "On my salary, I can't afford to stay home. But I've made up my mind to do it if I have to go without lunch for a week."

Encounter with Mr. Conklin's Family

The plot thickens when Harriet Conklin, Mr. Conklin's daughter, approaches Miss Brooks. Their conversation at [07:42] reveals that Mr. Conklin has been exhibiting unusual behavior, crying out Miss Brooks' name in his sleep. This interaction deepens the mystery surrounding Mr. Conklin's antagonism.

Harriet Conklin [07:42]: "Miss Brooks, your father screamed out your name in his sleep."

Mr. Conklin's Breakdown

Mr. Conklin's visit to the school doctor exposes his mental turmoil stemming from his feelings for Miss Brooks. At [06:02], Dr. Haney diagnoses Mr. Conklin's elevated blood pressure and mental distress.

Dr. Haney [06:02]: "There's no doubt about it. Something seems to be troubling you mentally."

This revelation sets the stage for his desperate attempt to avoid Miss Brooks by planning his own getaway.

Mr. Osgood Conklin [06:50]: "I'll go away for the Fourth of July weekend."

Comedic Escalation

The interactions escalate humorously as Miss Brooks and Mr. Conklin engage in a series of misunderstandings and slapstick moments. Notably, Miss Brooks inadvertently causes more friction by trying to help Mr. Conklin with his suit's thread, leading to further irritation.

Mr. Osgood Conklin [09:07]: "You're sure?"

Connie Brooks [09:10]: "I'll take a rain check. I mean, I'm positive."

Double Booking and Train Misadventures

A pivotal moment occurs when both Miss Brooks and Mr. Boynton secure tickets to Eagle Springs, unaware of each other's plans. This coincidence sets up a comedic showdown on the train. Harriet Conklin assists in purchasing Miss Brooks' tickets, adding layers to the narrative.

Harriet Conklin [12:55]: "I bought two tickets. Seats 208 and 209 in the parlor car, right smack up against each other."

Train Journey: The Climax

Onboard the Snake Eyes Limited train, Miss Brooks aims to surprise Mr. Conklin at Eagle Springs. At [25:28], Mr. Conklin attempts to mingle with other passengers, leading to an awkward and humorous encounter as he tries to reconcile with Miss Brooks amidst his own emotional turmoil.

Mr. Osgood Conklin [25:37]: "I sing. Oh, hey, look at the sun coming from behind that cloud shining on the window."

Miss Brooks' realization of Mr. Conklin's attempts to distance himself adds depth to their relationship, culminating in a bittersweet farewell.

Resolution and Departure

As the trip concludes, Miss Brooks decides to stay and address the lingering tensions with Mr. Conklin. The episode wraps up with Miss Brooks choosing to confront her issues rather than escape, highlighting her strength and integrity.

Connie Brooks [29:16]: "That's the 4th of July and I'm really going to shoot off my mouth."

Notable Quotes

• Connie Brooks [01:31]: "I look forward to such a brief holiday with such keen anticipation."
• Mr. Osgood Conklin [22:30]: "Me."
• Connie Brooks [18:24]: "Please, Mr. Carter."

Conclusion

Our Miss Brooks expertly weaves humor with heartfelt moments, portraying Miss Brooks as a resilient and compassionate character navigating the complexities of her professional and personal life. This episode encapsulates the charm of the Golden Age of Radio, offering listeners a delightful mix of comedy, drama, and timeless storytelling.

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Produced By: Larry Burns
Written and Directed By: Al Lewis
Music By: Wilbur Hatch

Stay Tuned: Join us next week for another entertaining episode of Our Miss Brooks, where Miss Brooks continues to navigate the humorous challenges of teaching and personal relationships.

Transcript

[Connie Brooks]

Hey, y'. All.

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[Olive Soap]

I'm Olive Soap, your beauty hope and Luster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressable hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden. When the fourth of July weekend arrived at Madison High Summer School and it was welcomed most enthusiastically by our Ms. Brooks, who teaches English there, I don't.

[Connie Brooks]

Know why I look forward to such a brief holiday with such keen anticipation. I like my work and I'm very fond of my pupils. Then there's the school principal, Mr. Osgood Conklin. Well, what do you know? I just found out why I look forward to such a brief holiday with such keen anticipation. Mr. Conklin and I never have been what the scientists call chemical affinities. But last week we really reached the ultimate in mutual harassment. I would hesitate to describe Mr. Conklin's temper as volcanic, but by last Thursday, I would swear I saw a thin trickle of lava flowing out of his ears. I was telling my landlady, Mrs. Davis, about it Friday morning at breakfast. He hasn't been this irritable since last month when I broke his new glasses.

[Mrs. Davis]

My goodness, Connie, how did you do that?

[Connie Brooks]

It was an accident, Mrs. Davis. They broke when we both bent down at the same time.

[Mrs. Davis]

You both bent down?

[Connie Brooks]

Yes, to pick up a hammer I had dropped on his foot.

[Mrs. Davis]

Osgood is certainly hard to get along with. Oh, Connie, did you say you wanted tea or coffee this morning?

[Connie Brooks]

I said I wanted milk, Mrs. Davis.

[Mrs. Davis]

Oh, of course you did. I'm getting so absent minded lately. Almost as Bad as my sister, Angela.

[Connie Brooks]

How is Angela, Mrs. Davis?

[Mrs. Davis]

Angela?

[Connie Brooks]

Your sister? Oh.

[Mrs. Davis]

She'S terribly absent minded, poor dear. Why, the other morning, do you know what she did?

[Connie Brooks]

No, what?

[Mrs. Davis]

She found herself with one foot in the bathtub and one foot out of the bathtub.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, there's nothing absent minded about that. It happens to most of us sooner or later.

[Mrs. Davis]

But Angela couldn't remember whether she was just getting into the tub. Oh, Feathers, you were just getting out.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, that is a dilemma. What did she do?

[Mrs. Davis]

She let the water out and took a shower. Now, I'd better get you that hot chocolate you wanted.

[Connie Brooks]

It's milk, Mrs. Davis, and it's right here on the table. Can I pour some for you?

[Mrs. Davis]

Oh, no thanks, Connie. I never drink milk in the morning. It keeps me up all day.

[Connie Brooks]

Maybe we should have gone on talking about Mr. Conklin.

[Mrs. Davis]

Say, that reminds me, Connie. How's Mr. Conklin been treating you lately?

[Connie Brooks]

You should have seen him yesterday when I stopped in at his office to get my check.

[Mrs. Davis]

Was he very disagreeable, Connie?

[Connie Brooks]

Not at first. That's what's so confusing. When I sat down to sign for the check, he was extremely civil to me, almost courteous. And then in a few seconds, boom. His whole attitude changed. But why? That's what I'd like to know. You think I spilled that bottle of ink on his coat purposely?

[Mrs. Davis]

Oh, Connie, not a bottle of ink.

[Connie Brooks]

I couldn't help it, Mrs. Davison. I tried my best to get out the spots.

[Mrs. Davis]

With what?

[Connie Brooks]

With spot remover, of course. Or at least I thought it was spot remover. It isn't my fault that Mr. Conklin keeps ammonia in his desk, is it?

[Mrs. Davis]

Ammonia? But carney, ammonia will just burn right through the cloth.

[Connie Brooks]

Please, Mrs. Davis, you sound just like Mr. Conklin. But I won't be running into him for the next few days. Thank goodness. I'm going away for the July 4th weekend.

[Mrs. Davis]

But, Connie, can you afford to go away?

[Connie Brooks]

On my salary, I can't afford to stay home. But I've made up my mind to do it if I have to go without lunch for a week. And guess where I'm going, Mrs. Davis?

[Mrs. Davis]

Where?

[Connie Brooks]

To Eagle Springs. And guess what bashful scientist is going to get the surprise of his life because he's going there too and doesn't know I'm coming.

[Mrs. Davis]

It's not Mr. Boynton.

[Connie Brooks]

It ain't Al Einstein. Now, if you'll excuse me, Mrs. Davis, I'll get ready for school. Walter Denton should be picking me up pretty soon.

[Mrs. Davis]

Oh, I'm Sorry, Connie, but there's something I forgot to tell you. Walter called while you were in the shower and said he can't pick you up this morning.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, great. And my car won't budge.

[Mrs. Davis]

What's the matter with it, Connie?

[Connie Brooks]

I don't know exactly. Last time I went out to the garage to look at it, it was lying on its side, panting.

[Mrs. Davis]

Porter said he hoped you'd understand, but he had to drive Mr. Conklin to the doctors this morning.

[Connie Brooks]

The doctors? Why, that's a shame. I wonder what's wrong with poor Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Well, Osgood, I can't seem to find anything radically wrong with your physical condition. Outside of a slightly elevated blood pressure, that is. What is my blood pressure, Dr. Haney? Oh, nothing to worry about, Osgood. Around 180, I'd say. Of course, if it gets to 200, I'd advise you to sell. If there's one thing I've always wanted, it's a comical physician. Tell me, Doctor, what's wrong with me? Well, I can't discover any physical symptoms, Osgood, but there's no doubt about it. Something seems to be troubling you mentally. Now, what is it? It isn't a what. It's a who. And what a who. Even when we're not together, I can still see her face before me. But, Osgood, do. Who is this woman? It's Miss Brooks, Doctor. She teaches English at Madison. It seems to me, Osgood, if Miss Brooks grates on your nerves so much, you shouldn't let her cross your path. Avoid contact with her whenever possible. As a matter of fact, I recommend that you leave town for a few days. That's it. I'll do it. I'll go away for the Fourth of July weekend. But where? Oh, it doesn't matter where. Do your world of good to get away for a few days. Say, now maybe I can help you. You?

[Connie Brooks]

Why, sure.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

I know the squaw in charge of reservations on the. It will be good to get away.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, hello, Miss Brooks. You're just the person I wanted to see. Good morning, Harriet. What can I do for you? It's Daddy, Miss Brooks. I'm real worried about him.

[Harriet Conklin]

Last night he cried out in his sleep several times.

[Connie Brooks]

Mother had to keep waking him up and.

[Harriet Conklin]

And once in his sleep, he screamed out your name.

[Connie Brooks]

My name? Yes. That's when Mother had to tie him to the bed. I think I can explain your father's nocturnal penchant for screaming my name. Harriet, we've spent the better part of this week exchanging Unpleasantries? Then Daddy did have words with you, Harriet, Your daddy had words that I wouldn't repeat in front of a sailor. He was extremely nervous this morning when Walter Denton drove him to the doctors. Well, I hope his doctor has a good doctor. Now, if you'll excuse me, Harriet, I'll run along to class.

[Harriet Conklin]

Just a minute, Miss Brooks. Here's Daddy now.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, good morning, Harriet. Well, the doctor says there's nothing wrong with me physically at all.

[Connie Brooks]

I knew it.

[Harriet Conklin]

You look better already.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Thank you, my dear.

[Connie Brooks]

Good morning, Mr. Conklin. The guest took a turn for the worse.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Good morning, Ms. Brooks.

[Olive Soap]

So far.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

I better get into my office now. I'll see you later, Harriet.

[Connie Brooks]

All right, Daddy. But what's the umbrella for?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

It looked like rain when I left for the doctors. Oh, by the way, it's a rather sturdy umbrella, Ms. Brooks. Here to whack me over the head with it to start off the day?

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, of course not, Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

You're sure?

[Connie Brooks]

Now, I'll take a rain check. I mean, I'm positive. Oh, hold still a minute, Mr. Conklin. There's a thread hanging from the LA of your coat. I'll pull it out for you.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

You needn't bother.

[Connie Brooks]

It's no bother. I'll pull it out in just a second. There, that does it. Now, there seems to be more. Hold still, please.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

I'm waiting, miss. Bro.

[Connie Brooks]

I'm pulling. Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Miss.

[Harriet Conklin]

The pair looks all right, Ms. Brooks.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, I'm getting it now. This a new suit, Mr. Conklin?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Yes. Yes, it is. No doubt you remember my old suit, Ms. Brooks. The one one with the ink spots.

[Connie Brooks]

Ink spots? How in the world did you get. Oh, that one.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Yes, yes, that one. I thought you'd like to know that I cleaned Walter Denton's windshield with it this morning.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, it certainly needed it. I mean, I'm sorry about your suit, Mr. Conklin, but. Say, this is funny. There doesn't seem to be any end to this thread.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

So I see. Miss Brooks, would you be good enough to give me the ball of thread you're holding? I'll have another lapel sewn on.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, forgive me, Mr. Conklin. I didn't realize.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

My brand new suit, two pairs of pants and one lapel. Let me in that office immediately, huh? Step aside, Harry.

[Harriet Conklin]

But, Daddy.

[Connie Brooks]

Daddy seems quite annoyed at you this morning, doesn't he, Ms. Brooks? I think so. In fact, there's an old Eskimo saying that describes his feelings toward me perfectly. It goes publicumu. Conicrio exo. What does that mean? Baby, it's cold outside.

[Olive Soap]

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[Connie Brooks]

Millions of women will prefer Beauty Lather Palm Olive over all other leading toilet soaps the minute they try it. For Palm Olive Soap's famous Beauty Lather now has a new clean flower, fresh fragrance for new allure, new charm.

[Olive Soap]

So, ladies, forget all other beauty care and use Palm Olive soap the way doctors advised for a lovelier complexion. Just stop improper cleansing and instead wash your face with Palm Olive soap three times a day, massaging Palm Olives, wonderful Beauty lather onto your skin for 60 seconds each time to get its full beautifying effect. Then rinse. That's all. All types of skin. Young, older, oily. Respond to it quickly. Don't wait another day to try palmolive's Beauty Lather. You'll be thrilled by its new fragrance, new charm, new allure. Thrilled again by the fresher, brighter complexion doctors prove may soon be yours.

[Connie Brooks]

For new loveliness all over, use big, bath sized Palm Olive in tub or shower. Well, I had no further encounters with Mr. Conklin during my first class. And while waiting for another session to begin, I was bolstered by the thought that I'd soon be on my way to Eagle Springs for the Fourth of July weekend. While I was marking some composition papers, Walter Denton returned from the errand I'd sent him on.

[Harriet Conklin]

Excuse me, Ms. Brooks, but I'm back.

[Connie Brooks]

Did you get me a ticket to Eagle springs, Walter?

[Harriet Conklin]

Sure, Ms. Brooks. But first I told Mr. Boynton I was going to the railroad station on an errand. And then I volunteered to pick up his ticket to Eagle Springs for him. And when he gave me the money, I just added what you'd given me and bought two tickets. Seats 208 and 209 in the parlor car, right smack up against each other.

[Connie Brooks]

Why, Walter Denton, where did you ever get such a diabolical scheme? From you.

[Harriet Conklin]

Now, don't you remember, Ms. Brooks? You laid the whole thing out for me.

[Connie Brooks]

Never mind, Walter. Are you sure the seats are together?

[Mrs. Davis]

Positive.

[Harriet Conklin]

And it was a lucky break. I got any seats at all. The trains are sure crowded for this Fourth of July weekend. Gosh, the station was alive with travelers.

[Connie Brooks]

Those are the best kind now, look, Walter, you have got to promise me you won't mention my trip to a soul. I don't want Mr. Boynton to know I'm going to Eagle Springs until he sits down next to me on that train.

[Harriet Conklin]

You have my word as a gentleman and a scholar.

[Connie Brooks]

I've just read your composition. Your word as a gentleman will do.

[Harriet Conklin]

All kidding aside, Ms. Brooks, how did you like my composition? Great baseball yarn, isn't it?

[Connie Brooks]

Frankly, Walter, it's a little hard for me to judge. I know how crazy you are about baseball. I'd like to be fair in marking your composition, but. Well, this time you've really got me stumped. Why? Maybe it's because the first six pages contain nothing but the American League box scores.

[Harriet Conklin]

I just put that in to make it more dramatic.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, some of it is pretty exciting at that. I remember one very eloquent phrase that keeps recurring in the story. Had me right on the edge of my seat. Let me find it. Oh, here it is. Coleman to Sternweiss to Phillips.

[Harriet Conklin]

That's a famous double play combination, you know, on the Yankees.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, Yankees. Of course, the Northern team. Now, you better be getting on to your next class.

[Harriet Conklin]

Okay, Ms. Brooks. Oh, before I go, is there anything I can do for you while you're out of town?

[Connie Brooks]

Yes, Walter. Come to think of it, there is something you can do. You will probably be seeing a lot of Harriet Conklin over the weekend, won't you?

[Harriet Conklin]

That's for sure.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, you can do me this one big favor. Whenever Mr. Conklin's in the vicinity, please don't mention my name.

[Harriet Conklin]

When Mr. Conklin's in the vicinity, I'm usually not. He hates me, you know.

[Connie Brooks]

You're not the only one. But just don't talk about me when he's around. I'm hoping he'll cool down a bit while I'm away.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month.

[Olive Soap]

So during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into their best.

[Olive Soap]

Sleep of his life.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

You were made to be rechargeable.

[Olive Soap]

We were made to package flights and.

[Mr. Boynton]

Hotels and hammocks for less.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Expedia. Made to travel.

[Olive Soap]

Lo os ave que pintarno esolo un projekto es tu profecion y al comprade en grand Escantidades el ahorres importante miembros de my los pro rewards Ahora and painte porciento en marcasele Gibles como valspar HGTV Home de Sherwin Williams y Cabot despoise Quel gastronual tres mil dolares.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, there's that pesky fly again. He's been in here all morning.

[Harriet Conklin]

I'll be darned if I'd hang around summer school all day if I was a fly.

[Connie Brooks]

Maybe he needs the credits. Hand me that fly swatter, Walter. Thanks.

[Harriet Conklin]

Oh, he lit over here on the door, Miss Brooks. I'll open it and let him fly out.

[Connie Brooks]

No, don't, Walter. He looks like a germ carrier. I think I've got a good bead on the little pest. Here goes.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Fortunately, I get my glasses wholesale.

[Connie Brooks]

Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Now that you've warmed up, Miss Brooks, how about trying the umbrella?

[Harriet Conklin]

It was an accident, Mr. Conklin. Ms. Brooks didn't mean to hit you. She was after that other pest. I mean the fly.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Well, if it isn't Walter Denton. I've hit the jackpot this time.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, please, Mr. Conklin. If you'll just sit down a minute.

[Harriet Conklin]

Yeah, Mr. Conklin. Just have a seat. I'll gather your glasses for you.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Yes? Oh, Denton.

[Connie Brooks]

Yes, sir? Get out. Yes, sir.

[Harriet Conklin]

That is. Yes, sir.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Miss Brooks, the reason I came in here was to inform you, as I have the other members of the faculty, that I'm going away for a while.

[Connie Brooks]

Away? For how long, Mr. Conklin?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Well, this morning I planned on staying away for just three days. But then when you siphoned off one of my lapels, I decided to make it four or five. And just now, when you flogged me with that fly swatter, I realized I'll need at least a week.

[Connie Brooks]

Mr. Conklin, I won't deny that a series of extremely unfortunate incidents have occurred.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

How very broad minded of you. Well, there won't be any more of them for me. At least not for the next week. I always thought I was a man of more than average courage, Miss Brooks. But I've discovered recently that I'm not.

[Connie Brooks]

Please, Mr. Carter.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

I am a coward, Miss Brooks. But be that as it may, I am determined to live long enough to be an old coward. Hence, I am about to flee the city.

[Connie Brooks]

But where are you going, mister?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

I don't know yet. I've called the railroad station, but their trains are all jammed with Fourth of July weekenders. However.

[Connie Brooks]

Yes, I know. It's very crowded on almost all trains.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Finished talking, Miss Brooks? I was about to say, however, I'm going to try the airport this afternoon. Maybe I can get a plane for somewhere. That's a very annoying fly.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, I've got the swatter, Mr. Conklin. I'll get it this time. You just sit still.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

No, no. I'll get out of this seat, if you don't mind.

[Connie Brooks]

You got up, Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

As I was saying, Miss Brooks, I'll go to the airport. If I can't get a plane from somewhere, I may fly somewhere without a plane.

[Connie Brooks]

And so, class, it only requires a little concentration to avoid embarrassing mistakes in conversation. We'll take up next the works of Lord Boynton. Lord Byron. That's all for now. Plastic dismissed. And have a nice weekend.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, excuse me, Miss Brooks. Could I see you for a minute?

[Connie Brooks]

Why, Mr. Boynton, you may see me for longer than that. Come in, won't you?

[Mr. Boynton]

I just wanted to say goodbye, Ms. Brooks.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, going somewhere?

[Mr. Boynton]

Yes. Walter Denton just got me a ticket on the 415 to Eagle Springs. I'm going to spend the Fourth of July weekend up there.

[Connie Brooks]

How nice for you, Mr. Boynton. It should do you a world of good, Miss.

[Mr. Boynton]

I really need the rest. I've been working pretty hard lately. Still, I want you to know I'll miss our regular Friday afternoon date, Miss Brooks.

[Connie Brooks]

I don't see why. That was a pretty tiresome crowd we were running around with, Ms. Brooks.

[Mr. Boynton]

We went to the zoo on Fridays.

[Connie Brooks]

That's what I mean. Every week, the same old hairy faces.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, it does a man good to get away from town every so often. Gives him a chance to think things out. Commune with nature, as it were. You know, I like to get next to Mother Nature once in a while.

[Connie Brooks]

Now, isn't that funny? I feel the same way about Father Nature, that is. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time, Mr. Barton.

[Mr. Boynton]

I knew you'd understand, Miss Brooks. Walter got me a seat in the parlor car. They usually come in twos, you know.

[Connie Brooks]

Do they?

[Mr. Boynton]

Yes. I hope someone nice sits next to me. It's quite a long trip, and a friendly traveling companion can make the time pass much more pleasant.

[Connie Brooks]

I'm sure you'll draw the doll of the world.

[Mr. Boynton]

No, no, not me. Just my luck. I'll probably wind up alongside some big fat dunce.

[Olive Soap]

Do you know what I do?

[Connie Brooks]

I mean, it's silly to even speculate about your train partner, Mr. Boynton. Forget it for now.

[Mr. Boynton]

If only he has a good sense of humor. I remember the last trip I took to New York. On my way back, I sat right next to George S. Kaufman. The famous playwright.

[Connie Brooks]

Really? How was his sense of humor?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

You'd be surprised.

[Mr. Boynton]

It wasn't so good. I told him one of my best gags, too. You know the one where I make my shoes squeak on purpose? Well, when Kaufman asked me if they were new shoes, I said, shoes, nothing. Those are my Blue Jay corn plasters. Chirping. Now, you know, that's funny.

[Connie Brooks]

It's a scream. How did Mr. Kaufman.

[Mr. Boynton]

He took two Alka Seltzers and went to sleep.

[Connie Brooks]

Probably jealous because he didn't make it up.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, I guess I better be leaving now, Ms. Brooks. I've still got to say goodbye to Mr. Conklin.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, whatever you do, don't mention my name to him. This is one of my bad days.

[Mr. Boynton]

Miss Brooks, you shouldn't fight with Mr. Conklin.

[Connie Brooks]

I'm not fighting with him, Mr. Boynton. Why, Mr. Conklin would be the first to admit that we'd get along splendidly together if it weren't for just one thing.

[Mr. Boynton]

What's that?

[Connie Brooks]

Me.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Come in.

[Mr. Boynton]

I just dropped in to say goodbye, Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, sit down a minute, boy. And I'm just getting some information from the travel bureau. What did you say the name of that train was again? The Snake Eyes Limited. No, no, I'm afraid I don't care to go as far as Las Vegas. Goodbye. Now then, you were saying?

[Mr. Boynton]

Just goodbye, Mr. Conklin. I'm going up to Eagle Springs for the weekend. Eagle Springs?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

But you won't be able to get a train ticket. I've tried every which way to get out of this town. It's just impossible.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, not for me, it isn't. I've got my ticket right here. Seat 209 in the parlor car on the 415.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Let's see that ticket, Barnum.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, I'll be running along now, if you don't mind.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Just a moment. Boynton. Boynton, I've always looked upon you as one of the outstanding members of Madison's faculty. Not just as a teacher, mind. Although you're one of the best.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

But also as a human being. You, Boynton, are the type of chap who would never let anyone down.

[Mr. Boynton]

Gosh, Mr. Conklin.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

That's why I know you'll sell me that ticket and postpone your own vacation.

[Mr. Boynton]

Postpone it? But, Mr. Conklin, I can't.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

And the vocabulary of a Madison High School teacher, there is no such word as can't.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, then I won't. I'm sorry, sir, but I worked Very hard for this vacation.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

And of course you have, my boy. It was selfish of me to even suggest that you give me your ticket on the train. The fact that I'm on the verge of complete mental breakdown should not dissuade you in the slightest.

[Mr. Boynton]

Mental breakdown? I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Conan.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, Chin up. Chin up, boy. Wipe that frown from your face. You should be smiling. You're going on a trip. A happy, carefree trip. Forget about me trembling in my stuffy little office. You're on the train, boy. I can see you now, sitting there in that plush parlor car, the sun streaming through the windows. What's this? Conductor is approaching. Tickets. Tickets, please. Where's your ticket?

[Mr. Boynton]

Here it is.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Thanks, Boynton. I knew you'd come through.

[Connie Brooks]

Here you are, miss.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Seat 208.

[Connie Brooks]

Thank you.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Now, this bag belongs to the gentleman in the next seat here. Went back to the smoking car just before we pulled out.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, that's perfect. Now I can really surprise him.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, do you know him?

[Connie Brooks]

Not as well as I'm going to. That is, we've never been on a vacation together before.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, that's the fellow coming down the aisle there. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He's got adhesive tape on his glasses.

[Connie Brooks]

What? Are you sure that's the man who has seat 209?

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Positive. I parked him here myself.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to face the window before he sits down.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

What for?

[Connie Brooks]

If he sees me before he sits down, he'll fall down.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Oh, I get it. It's a rib. Tickets. Tickets. 205, 207. Ah, here we are. 209. Hi ho, hi ho to Eagle Springs we go well, well, I have a traveling companion. I don't blame you for gazing out the window. Lovely scenery, isn't it? Nothing like taking a little trip, eh? I don't mind telling you, I was a candidate for the Mayo Clinic before I got on this train. But it's going to be different now. I. Ho, hi ho to Eagle Springs we go and as we go, I sing. Oh, hey, look at the sun coming from behind that cloud shining on the window. That way it's beginning to reflect your features. Yes, yes. There are your eyes. Nice eyes. There. There's your nose. Pretty nose. There's your mouth, your chin. Put them all together and they add up. Oh.

[Connie Brooks]

Hi ho, hi ho to the Mayo Clinic we go.

[Olive Soap]

Eve arden, as our Ms. Brooks returns in just a moment.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

But first, dream girl. Dream girl. Beautiful Luster cream girl.

[Olive Soap]

Tonight? Yes, tonight. Show him how much Lovelier your hair can look after. A luster cream shampoo. Luster cream. World's finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you K. Duma's magic blend of secret ingredients. Plus gentle lanolin. Not a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier. Fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff. Glistening with sheen. Soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream lathers instantly. No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo. So gentle. Luster cream is wonderful, even for children's hair. Tonight, yes, tonight try luster cream shampoo.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Dream girl. Dream girl. Beautiful luster cream girl. You owe your crowning glory too. A luster cream shampoo.

[Olive Soap]

And now, once again, here is our Ms. Brooks.

[Connie Brooks]

Well, after I found out the identity of Mr. Boynton's summer replacement on the train, I altered my plans for the weekend. Computing the wind velocity and the rate of speed at which we were traveling, I decided not to get off until the first stop. Then I took the next train back to town. And when I arrived at the depot, I ran right into Walter Denton.

[Harriet Conklin]

Ms. Brooks, what are you doing here? You should be halfway to Eagle Springs by now.

[Connie Brooks]

I was, Walter, but I found out that Mr. Boynton isn't going. And I couldn't bear the thought of letting him spend the weekend alone. Alone?

[Harriet Conklin]

But Ms. Brooks, Mr. Boynton got a last minute cancellation and left for Eagle Springs five minutes ago.

[Connie Brooks]

What?

[Harriet Conklin]

Sure, I drove him down.

[Connie Brooks]

Oh, great. Well, there's only one way I can celebrate the holiday now. I'll make an anonymous call to Mr. Conklin on Monday.

[Harriet Conklin]

An anonymous call?

[Connie Brooks]

Yes, Walter, that's the 4th of July and I'm really going to shoot off my mouth.

[Olive Soap]

Next week. Tune into another our Ms. Brooks show brought to you by palm of its soap, your Beauty Hope and Luster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressable hair. Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns. Written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur Hatch. Here's a money saving offer.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

Men.

[Olive Soap]

A giant tube and a large tube of palm oil of brushless shaving cream for 49 cents. Yes, a 70 cent value for only 49 cents. This offer is made solely to prove you too can get smoother, more comfortable shaves the Palm Olive Brushless way. Just follow directions on the tube and treat your face to wonderful shaves. Yes, for extra shaving comfort at extra low cost. Don't miss this Palmolive brushless bargain at drug and toilet goods counters. Get both giant and large size palmolive brushless a 70 cent value for only 49 cents. Last year forest fires laid waste 30 million acres of America's timberland. This year only you can keep it from happening again. So when you or your family are camping, motoring in or even near a forest area, remember these four rules. 1. Crush out completely out all cigarettes, cigar and pipe ashes.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

2.

[Olive Soap]

Break matches in 2. After using. 3. Drown all campfires then stir and drown again.

[Mr. Osgood Conklin]

4.

[Olive Soap]

Before going near timber, ask fire authorities where campfires or even smoking are permitted. Remember, another 30 million acres will burn this year unless you are careful. For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs, listen to Mr. And Mrs. North the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife. Tune in Tuesday evening over most of these same stations and be with us again at the same time next week for another comedy episode of our Ms. Brooks. Bob Lamond speaking. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting.

[Connie Brooks]

Sat.