Our Miss Brooks 48-09-19 (007) Weekend at Crystal Lake

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Our Miss Brooks 48-09-19 (007) Weekend at Crystal Lake
Date: November 10, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio features a classic broadcast of Our Miss Brooks, originally aired on September 19, 1948. The beloved comedy follows English teacher Connie Brooks as she navigates the tribulations of high school life—especially her romantic pursuits involving bashful biology teacher Philip Boynton.

In "Weekend at Crystal Lake," Miss Brooks is invited to the principal’s summer cottage for the Conklins’ wedding anniversary. When Miss Brooks brings Mr. Boynton along—and surprises ensue—the result is a comedy of matchmaking, misunderstandings, and mishaps at the lake.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Miss Brooks' Dream Sequence & Morning at Home

• [01:18–02:18] The episode opens with Miss Brooks daydreaming about a more romantic Mr. Boynton, only to be woken by Mrs. Davis.
• Mrs. Davis offers an unusual breakfast: boiled pine needles.
  • Quote:

  “It’s a brand new recipe! … Boiled pine needles.” – Mrs. Davis [03:15]

• Miss Brooks skips breakfast, mentioning both her car troubles and a traffic ticket.

2. Carpool Chaos with Walter Denton

• [04:05–06:33] Walter picks up Miss Brooks for work, revealing his car’s top collapsed from an overloaded joy ride.
  • Quote:

    “We went for a ride, twelve of us, that’s when it happened… Six of them were on top.” – Walter Denton [04:44]

• The conversation shifts to romance—specifically, Walter’s struggles with the principal’s daughter, Harriet.

3. Mrs. Conklin’s Invitation

• [07:05–08:59] Mrs. Conklin, noticing Miss Brooks’ hard work, invites her (and, by extension, Mr. Boynton) to spend the Conklins’ anniversary weekend at their lakeside cottage.
  • Quote:

  “Seeing how happy our married life is might give Mr. Boynton some ideas…” – Mrs. Conklin [07:33]

4. Awkward Cafeteria Lunch and Miss Brooks’ Proposal

• [09:15–10:58] Over an unappetizing lunch, Miss Brooks invites Mr. Boynton to the weekend getaway, barely disguising the romantic possibilities.
  • Quote:

  “Would you like to go away and spend the weekend together? Shame, Mr. Boynton. You’ve got chili all over your red tie.”—Miss Brooks [10:12]

5. Principal Conklin’s Warnings & Coincidental Plans

• [12:15–13:43] Conklin worries about faculty relationships affecting school decorum and his own surprise anniversary plans at the cottage, unbeknownst that his wife has invited guests.
  • Quote:

  “It would be different if you were married or even engaged to Mr. Boynton.”—Mr. Conklin [12:40]

6. Preparing for Disaster at Crystal Lake

• [14:27–16:30] At home, the Conklins each try to surprise the other with the same anniversary plan—Crystal Lake—which signals converging storylines.

7. Arrival and Annoyances at the Cottage

• [18:18–21:54] Miss Brooks and Mr. Boynton’s arrival is an unwelcome surprise for Mr. Conklin; Mrs. Conklin insists it’s all for Miss Brooks’ benefit and marital prospects.
  • Mrs. Conklin urges Miss Brooks to show her domestic side and cook dinner—sparking inevitable comedic disaster.
  • Quote:

  “Are you game? … Looks like Mr. Boynton’s the game, but I’ll take a shot at him—or it.”—Miss Brooks [21:07]

8. Bathing Suits & Boating Mishaps

• [23:10–27:03] Outfitted in borrowed swimsuits, the group heads to the lake. Miss Brooks and Mr. Boynton rent a boat, leading to a runaway motor and near-collision.
  • Quote:

  “Quick, Ms. Brooks, lie on the bottom of the boat! I can’t stop!”—Mr. Boynton [26:55]

9. The Anniversary Dinner Goes Awry

• [27:19–28:29] Miss Brooks’ barbecued ribs are inedible, and Mr. Conklin storms off to make eggs. The group’s attempts at cheer only annoy him further.
  • Quote:

  “Tastes like charcoal.” —Mr. Conklin [27:55]

10. Sleeping Arrangements and Running Gags

• [29:08–30:24] As more guests arrive (Walter Denton, Harriet), sleeping arrangements are shuffled, driving Mr. Conklin to the brink of a breakdown.
  • Quote:

  “Now Walter, Harriet, Ms. Brooks and I will have to use our room. You and Walter and Mr. Boynton will have to sleep in the guest house.”—Mrs. Conklin [30:14]
  “How are my chances of being appointed head of the English Department? You don’t have to answer now. You can think it over and tell me right after I’ve blown my brains out.”—Miss Brooks [30:24]

11. Classic Sign-off and Cast Credits

• [30:49–31:25] The episode ends with production credits and the familiar voices of Eve Arden (Miss Brooks), Jeff Chandler (Mr. Boynton), and Gail Gordon (Mr. Conklin).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Miss Brooks’ self-deprecating wit:
  • “This is the sneakiest bowl of syrup I ever saw.” [03:43]
  • “He ain't round.” – On Mr. Boynton’s romantic skills [06:20]
• Cafeteria banter revealing Miss Brooks’ dry humor:
  • “What do you drink with your lunch, Mr. Boynton? A lit can of Sterno?” [09:47]
• Mrs. Conklin’s matchmaking zeal:
  • “You show your domesticity as well. Tonight I want you to cook the dinner.” [21:20]
• Cottage chaos:
  • “You can think it over and tell me right after I’ve blown my brains out.” [30:24]

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Highlighted Timestamps

• 01:18: Dream sequence with fantasy Boynton
• 03:15: Boiled pine needle breakfast
• 07:12: Mrs. Conklin’s matchmaking invitation
• 10:12: Miss Brooks’ veiled weekend proposal
• 12:15: Mr. Conklin’s faculty romance warning
• 21:07: Mrs. Conklin’s lecture on being "game"
• 26:48: Runaway motorboat incident
• 27:55: The barbecue disaster
• 30:14: Final straw for Mr. Conklin—bedroom arrangements
• 30:24: Miss Brooks’ punchline about her promotion chances

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Tone and Style

The episode is characterized by clever wordplay, quick-witted banter, and the endearing awkwardness between Miss Brooks and Mr. Boynton. The original 1940s radio tone—a blend of light satire, farcical misunderstandings, and subtle romantic tension—is preserved throughout.

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Conclusion

"Weekend at Crystal Lake" is a quintessential Our Miss Brooks episode—romantic hopes, inconvenient coincidences, and rapid-fire humor all collide at the lakeside cottage. The cast’s comedic timing and classic one-liners make this a standout Golden Age of Radio installment, full of laughs for both nostalgic listeners and newcomers alike.

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For fans who missed this episode, this summary captures the unfolding hijinks, sharp dialogue, and the warm (if chaotic) chemistry among the beloved Madison High regulars.

Transcript

[A]

And Doug, here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera.

[B]

They see us.

[A]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[C]

Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

[D]

Liberty Savings vary unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates Excludes Massachusetts.

[B]

CBS presents Our Miss Brooks starring eve Arden. Our Ms. Brooks is an English teacher at Madison High School. She can tell you everything you need to know about the present and past subjunctive. But she's not at all sure about the future. That is her romantic future with biology teacher Philip Boynton. Like most men of science, Mr. Boynton is quite modest and reticent, especially when it comes to women. Well, this, of course, is in reality. But in the dreams of Connie Brooks, he's sometimes quite another fellow. Listen.

[D]

Ms. Brooks, I've decided to throw caution to the wind. May I call you Constance?

[C]

Of course.

[D]

Thank you, darling.

[C]

Darling, With a little encouragement, this lad will do all right.

[D]

You're so lovely, so beautiful. So alluring.

[C]

So. Why are you standing so far away?

[D]

Oh, is. Is this better?

[C]

Oh, much. You're only 10ft away now.

[D]

If I get any closer, I'm liable to kiss you. Please, dear. You're standing on my foot.

[C]

Oh, my darling, when you're close to me like this, I feel enchanted. I seem to hear a little angel singing in my ear.

[B]

Hmm?

[C]

What's. What's that? Oh, fine. My little angel turns out to be Big Ben. Oh, quiet, you little dream butcher. Come in.

[E]

Are you awake, Connie?

[C]

Oh, yes, darn it. How are you this morning, Mrs. Davis?

[E]

Oh, fine, dear. My, you must have had a very exciting dream. Aren't you warm with all those covers wrapped around you?

[C]

Oh, I didn't notice them. Pardon me while I unravel.

[E]

Dear. And while you're at it, you might as well unpucker too. I brought you a little breakfast snack up on this tray.

[F]

Tiny.

[E]

It's a brand new recipe I just discovered.

[C]

Oh, that's very considerate of you, Mrs. Davis, but I'd rather not try any of your new recipes for breakfast. The last one, as I recall, was Peruvian sprats fried in garlic salt and almond paste.

[E]

Oh, you love this little dish. It's a sort of a cereal. I got so tired of the ones that crackle and pop in your plate. This one's real quiet.

[C]

Oh, what is it, Mrs. Davis?

[E]

Boiled pine needles.

[C]

Boiled pine needles?

[G]

Yes.

[E]

First I boil all the tar and rosin out of them.

[C]

Why, that's the best part.

[E]

Then I place them in extra heavy cream and coat them with powdered sugar. Oh, look at those slender, graceful needles lying there. They just seem to be sighing and whispering to each other.

[C]

This is the sneakiest bowl of syrup I ever saw. Oh, no, thanks, Mrs. Davis. I've got to get ready for school. Walter Denton's picking me up in his car this morning.

[E]

Why, Connie, is your car in the shop again?

[C]

Yes, Mrs. Davis. I dented my radiator pretty badly the other day. I got a ticket too, for passing a car on the left.

[E]

But that's not illegal, passing a car on the left.

[C]

It is when the car is approaching you. Oh, I'm certainly enjoying this ride, Walter. It's a beautiful day.

[H]

Oh, it sure is, Miss Brooks. Notice anything different about the car?

[C]

The car? Why, yes. The top is down. But, Walter, this wasn't a convertible. It was a club coupe with a hard top.

[F]

Sure.

[C]

Well, what did you do, take the top off?

[H]

Oh, I didn't have to. It fell off. The 12 of us went for a ride the other night. That's when it happened.

[C]

12? Oh, but that isn't safe, Walter. You shouldn't put 12 people in one car.

[H]

Oh, they weren't all in the car, Ms. Brooks. Six of them were on top. That's why it caved in, I guess.

[C]

I guess. I hope nobody was hurt, Walter.

[H]

No. Now, fortunately, there were all girls inside. And they're pretty soft.

[C]

Yeah, with the exception of girl softball players. You're right. Was Harriet Conklin with you that night? Oh, sure.

[H]

I haven't been able to get rid of her for a month. She says she's in. In love with me.

[C]

Love? That is either cynicism or sinus trouble. What's the matter with Harriet Conklin, Walter? Why don't you like her?

[H]

Well, outside of her being the principal's daughter, there's nothing the matter with her. But she's always chasing me. It must be hero worship.

[C]

Well, look, modest one. If I may make a suggestion. Why don't you change your attitude toward Harriet? Be kindly but firm. In other words, make her realize that your association is strictly platonic.

[H]

You mean, like you and Mr. Boynton?

[C]

Ooh, and without an anesthetic too.

[H]

I'm sorry, Miss Brooks. I know you're sort of fond of him. But he always seems so interested in his white mice and frogs and stuff. Gee, I like Mr. Boynton personally. But if you'll pardon my saying so, Ms. Brooks, I think in certain matters. He's real square.

[C]

He ain't round.

[H]

Well, here's Harriet's house. Miss Brooks, will you excuse me a minute? I've got to take her to school, too. Her dad left earlier than usual this morning, so she's without a ride.

[C]

Go right ahead, Walter.

[G]

You don't have to come to the door, Walter. I'll be right there.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Harriet, who sat in the car with you?

[C]

Paul's here.

[H]

It's Ms. Brooks, Mrs. Conklin.

[G]

Ms. Brooks.

[C]

That's what we schoolteachers need, publicity.

[G]

Will you come up to the porch.

[F]

A minute, Miss Brooks? I'd like to talk to you about something.

[C]

All right, Mrs. Conklin.

[G]

Hello, Ms. Brooks. We'll wait for you in the car.

[C]

Okay, Harriet.

[F]

Hello, miss Brooks.

[C]

Hello, Mrs. Conklin. What is it you wanted to tell me?

[F]

Well, I've noticed how hard you've been working during the summer session, and I think a little vacation would do you a lot of good.

[C]

Yes, I suppose it would.

[F]

But Mr. Conklin and I have a summer cottage up at Crystal Lake. Now, tomorrow Saturday is our anniversary, and I think it would be nice if you would come up to help us celebrate it. I won't say a word about it to Mr. Conklin. We'll surprise him. Could you come?

[C]

Well, I really don't know, Mrs. Conklin. You see, I have a date with Mr. Boynton tomorrow.

[F]

Oh, so much the better. Bring him along. You know, seeing how happy our married life is might give Mr. Boynton some ideas on the.

[C]

Why, Mrs. Conklin, I don't know what you're driving at.

[F]

Well, I've seen you look at Mr. Boynton, Ms. Brooks. And when one woman sees another woman look at a man the way you look at Mr. Boynton, Ms. Brooks, that woman knows that the other woman is thinking thoughts about that man. That a woman has thought about a man since men and women were created.

[C]

From the picture. Little man, you've had a busy woman. Look, Mrs. Conklin, I am sort of fond of Mr. Boynton, but I don't want people to think that I. Oh.

[F]

They will anyway, so you might as well. You might as well land him. I'll tell you what. You and Mr. Boynton come up to Crystal Lake tomorrow afternoon, and you can be our house guests over the weekend.

[C]

Oh, but Mrs. Conklin, maybe Mr. Conklin doesn't want any house guests this weekend.

[F]

Oh, don't worry about that, Miss Brooks. I'll handle Osgood. He'll be delighted to see you. When I get through with him, and I'm sure the atmosphere will be extreme, extremely matrimonial.

[C]

Mrs. Conklin, you just sold me. I'm having lunch with Mr. Boynton today and I'll extend your very kind invitation to spend the weekend in your trap at Crystal Lake, I mean, cottage.

[F]

Fine. But don't breathe a word about it to Mr. Conklin, whatever you do.

[C]

Oh, don't worry about that, Mrs. Conklin. While I'm at school, I breathe as few words as possible to Mr. Conk.

[D]

How do you like the food in the school cafeteria this year, Ms. Brooks?

[C]

About the same as last year, Mr. Boynton. At least this beef stew is the same as last year. In fact, that's when I think it was made.

[D]

This chili is pretty good. Would you pass the cats up, please?

[C]

Oh, surely.

[D]

I think the salt and pepper are over on your side too.

[C]

Salt and pepper on chili?

[D]

I like things well seasoned. Would you pass the horseradish too, please?

[C]

Here you are.

[D]

Thank you. Now, a little mustard and I'm all set for the coroner.

[C]

What do you drink with your lunch, Mr. Boynton? A lit can of Sterno.

[D]

I'm afraid I have a cast iron stomach, Miss Brooks.

[C]

Really? Who helped you carry it to school?

[D]

I've always liked hot dishes, Miss Brooks. I think spicy things enhance a meal tremendously.

[C]

That goes for living too, doesn't it, Mr. Boynton?

[D]

What do you mean, Ms. Brooks?

[C]

Mr. Boynton, instead of our usual Saturday night date, how would you like to go away and spend the weekend together? Shame, Mr. Boynton. You've got chili all over your red tie.

[D]

I'm wearing a blue tie.

[C]

It's red now. I didn't mean to shock you like that, Mr. Boynton. I just thought it would be nice to get away for a while. Say, up to Crystal Lake.

[D]

Oh, but, but, but, but, but.

[C]

Check your motorboat, mister. Look, Mr. Boyden, Mrs. Conklin has invited us up to their summer cottage because tomorrow's their anniversary and she wants us to help them celebrate.

[D]

Well, I wouldn't want to deprive you of any fun, Ms. Brooks, but.

[F]

Good.

[C]

What time will you pick me up tomorrow?

[D]

Well, I guess I might as well be a good sport. I'll call for you at 10:00'. Clock.

[C]

Fine.

[B]

Pardon me, Ms. Brooks. Mr. Boydman.

[D]

Oh, hello, Mr. Conklin.

[B]

At ease. On your way back to class, Ms. Brooks, I'd like you to stop in my office for a moment. There's something I'd like to discuss with you.

[C]

Certainly, Mr. Conklin. I'll be there in about 10 minutes.

[B]

Very well. As you were.

[D]

You'd never know Mr. Conklin spent some time in the army. Would you?

[C]

Mr. Conklin was a major in the last war, Mr. Boynton. He served for five years.

[D]

Was that so? In what theater?

[C]

Low state. He sold war bonds in the lobby. Of course, from the shape of his head, I could have sworn he spent some time in the Pentagon building. I wonder what he wants to see me about.

[D]

Well, maybe it's that promotion to the head of English Department you've been hoping for.

[C]

Yes. Or he might have reconsidered about giving me a couple of weeks off with pay. Or maybe the raise that's due me next season is going to be made retroactive to include the summer session. Or maybe he's just going to do what he always does. Hit me across the back of the neck with a bag of hot stones.

[B]

Come in.

[C]

You wanted to see me, Mr. Conklin?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yes, Come in, Miss Brooks. Sit down, won't you? Now, I have no desire to pry into the personal lives of any of my teachers.

[C]

Good for you, Mr. Conklin. I always say that a person.

[B]

However, I've. I've noticed that lately you're spending quite a bit of time both in and out of school with Mr. Philip Boynton. People are beginning to talk.

[C]

What people, Mr. Conklin?

[B]

Well, members of the school board. They're still considering you as a possible new head of the English department. You know how they feel about fraternization among the faculty at Madison. Miss Brooks and I. Well, it would be different if you were married or even engaged to Mr. Boynton.

[C]

But, Mr. Conklin, how can one ever get engaged if one doesn't fraternize with one, or one more than one, if necessary, to find the right one?

[B]

That is your problem, Miss Brooks. Now, I'm not asking you to stop seeing Mr. Boynton completely, but I do wish you'd think twice about your public meetings.

[C]

Maybe you could find a hideaway.

[B]

Miss Brooks, that's not what I had in mind at all.

[C]

Me either. But don't knock it. Until you've tried it, that is. I wasn't going to.

[B]

Now, my anniversary is tomorrow, and I'm going to surprise Mrs. Conklin with a little trip to Crystal Lake. We have a cottage there, you know.

[C]

Yes, I know.

[B]

And if I could feel that your conduct over the weekend was above reproach, well, I'd enjoy my little vacation that much more.

[C]

Oh, don't worry about Mr. Boynton and myself, Mr. Conklin, believe me, you won't hear a thing about us.

[B]

Mother, I'm home from school.

[F]

That's nice. Go in the pantry and make yourself a peanut butter sandwich. Harriet.

[B]

Harriet, it's me, Martha Osgood.

[F]

I'll be right down here. I've been expecting Harriet any minute. Osgood, I've got a surprise for you.

[B]

Well, now, that's a peculiar coincidence. I've got a surprise for you.

[F]

You have? What is it?

[B]

Oh, watch yours.

[F]

Well, I thought it would be nice if we spent our anniversary in the cottage at Crisco Lake. Oh, what do you say, Outgood? Shall we get away from it all this weekend?

[B]

Yes, that's not a bad idea.

[F]

Oh, good. I know we'll have a grand time, dear. Now, what's your surprise?

[B]

My surprise? Well, I thought it might be a good idea if we spent our anniversary at Crystal Lake.

[F]

Oh, why, Osgood, that's a wonderful idea.

[C]

Hello, Mom. Hi, dad.

[F]

Hello, Harriet.

[G]

Now, if you'll both sit still for a moment, I'll acquaint you with my rarest scheme of the season. I mean, this is rare.

[F]

What's rare, dear?

[G]

Tomorrow's your anniversary, right?

[B]

That's right.

[G]

Where do you think you're going to spend it? You'll never guess, so don't even try. In our summer cottage at Crystal Lake.

[B]

Crystal Lake?

[F]

Why? Viharia, Limu Emu and Doug.

[A]

Here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Uh, Limu Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[C]

Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty Savings.

[D]

Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[I]

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[F]

It's a wonderful idea, isn't it, Osgood?

[B]

It must be. Everybody's getting it. Ah, this is the lie. I'm certainly glad we didn't close this place up on Labor Day like we usually do.

[F]

Oh, I Knew you'd enjoy yourself. Here, Osgood. Now just relax and smoke your pipe. I've got a little dusting to do.

[B]

You gotta take a little nap. This hammock is very restful. Before you go, how about a little anniversary kiss, huh?

[F]

Oh, but ah's good. It's only one o' clock in the afternoon. We weren't married until three.

[B]

That's all right. Let's have a little preview.

[C]

Osgood.

[F]

I declare, I don't know what comes over you when we come up here. Must be the mountain air.

[B]

It must be. Come here, baby.

[G]

Oh, there you two was just. Oh, am I interrupting something?

[B]

No, no, nothing at all, Harriet. I was just about to salute your mother on her anniversary.

[G]

That's as good a reason as any, I guess. Here's some wild flowers I picked for you both. Congratulations. And many, many more. Happy anniversaries for all of us.

[F]

Oh, thank you, Harriet. Now run along down to the lake, dear. Your father wants to take a little nap.

[G]

Okay. I'll see if our rowboat's in shape. Don't forget we're going fishing this afternoon.

[F]

Now you drop off to sleep, Osgood, and I'll. I'll wake you in about an hour.

[B]

Fine, fine.

[D]

I'll get your bag out of the trunk.

[C]

Oh, thanks, Mr. Boynton. Gosh, that was a long drive. But here we are now. It's right up these porch steps, I believe. Yoo hoo. Anybody home?

[B]

What is this? Who in the world. Ms. Brooks.

[D]

Mr. Boynton.

[B]

What are you doing here?

[C]

That's what I like about Crystal Lake. The hospitality.

[F]

What's all the commotion about?

[C]

Oh.

[F]

Oh, it's you. Ms. Brooks and Mr. Boynton. I'm so glad you could come.

[B]

Mother, did you invite.

[F]

Of course, dear. I asked Ms. Brooks and Mr. Boynton to spend the weekend with us. That's one surprise I didn't tell you. Aren't you tickled?

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Well, then act it all is good. You certainly don't look tickled.

[C]

Some people tickle easier than others.

[D]

Maybe Mr. Cockland would rather be alone.

[F]

Oh, nonsense, Mr. Boynton. Osgood and I see as much of each other alone as we want to. We're already married, you know.

[D]

Yes, I know. Congratulations on your anniversary.

[F]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Boynton. I always say married life is give and take.

[B]

Me too. You'd have given me a little warning. I wouldn't have let you take me here.

[F]

Now. You two must be all hot and sticky from your drive up here. I hope you both have a bathing.

[C]

Suit for Mr. Conklin's. Sake, I hope we each have a bathing suit.

[F]

I'll show you interchange. Just follow me and we'll all get ready for a nice dip.

[B]

I don't want to go for a dip.

[F]

Oh, now, dear, we must do the things our guests want to do.

[D]

Why, as a matter of fact, I'm afraid I don't have a suit with me. I forgot to pack it.

[F]

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Boynton. I'll fix you up with one of Mr. Conklin's. Come along and you can nap for a few more minutes. Osgood, I'll take the folks in tow.

[B]

Yes, do that.

[C]

He sounds like he'd like you to tow us about three miles and then sink us.

[F]

You just go right in here, Mr. Boynton. You'll find a bathing suit in the bottom drawer of that dresser.

[D]

Thanks, Mrs. Conklin.

[F]

Now, here's the guest room. You and my daughter Harriet are sharing it for the weekend.

[C]

Oh, is Harriet here for your anniversary, too?

[F]

Yes. Oh, she's so devoted. Been like a daughter to us.

[C]

Well, that's a coincidence.

[F]

Now, before I leave you, dear, I. I want you to know that I planned this weekend for your sake more than anybody's. So I want you to take advantage of it.

[C]

Oh, that's really very kind of you, Mrs. Mrs. Conklin.

[F]

Remember, all you have to do is keep close to Mr. Conklin and myself. Then when Mr. Boynton sees how happy we are, I'm sure he'll start thinking of marriage as a jolly institution. It is. Well, what do you say? Are you game?

[C]

Looks like Mr. Boynton's the game. But I'll take a shot at him or it. You know, I really do like the guy, Mrs. Conklin.

[F]

I know you, dear. My dear. Now one more thing. In addition to our example, I think you should show your domesticity as well. So tonight, I want you to cook the dinner.

[E]

Me?

[F]

Oh, definitely. What dish do you prepare best?

[G]

Soup.

[F]

What kind?

[C]

Campbell's.

[F]

Well, I. I think something you cook yourself might make a better impression on Mr. Boynton. I know you can barbecue some spare ribs for dinner. Now, get into your suit and I'll see you on the porch. Oh, isn't this fun? It's just like a fox hunt. Tally ho and yo.

[C]

Tally ho to you, Mrs. Conklin. And I hope we all don't make a bunch of yoicks out of ourselves.

[B]

Stop rocking the hammock, Martha. I'm getting seasick.

[F]

Very well. Now, now remember, Osgood, we've got to make a good impression For Miss Brooklyn.

[B]

I don't like it, Martha. I never did believe in this matchmaking business. Besides, I thought we'd be alone at least part of the time. Confounded all this mountain air going to waste.

[F]

It won't go to waste, dear. As always tonight.

[B]

Yes. Come here, baby.

[F]

Remember. Remember what I used to call you when we were first married?

[B]

Yeah. Call me it again, Mother.

[F]

All right, sugar cookie.

[B]

Am I really your sugar cookie still?

[C]

Well, your icing's a little whiter.

[B]

Miss Brooks. Where did you come from?

[F]

Hello, Miss Brooks. My, what a lovely bathing suit. One piece, isn't it?

[C]

Yes, it is.

[F]

Look at Miss Brooks bathing suit. Osgood. That's long enough, Ms. Brooks. Be sure and tell Mr. Barton you made the suit yourself. Men love practical women.

[D]

Oh, hello there. Everybody all ready?

[C]

Oh, it's Mr. Fox, Mr. Boynton, I mean.

[F]

Why, Mr. Conklin's suit fits you perfectly, Mr. Boynton. Don't you think so, Ms. Brooks?

[C]

Yes, it's very nice. Aren't the sleeves a little wide at the wrist?

[B]

That is one of my older ones.

[D]

That's quite a suit you have on, Ms. Brooks.

[F]

She made it herself, didn't you, dear?

[C]

Yes, out of an old stocking and some pen wipers. Let's go down to the lake, huh? Come on, Mr. Boynton. I'll race you to the raft.

[D]

You're on. Let's go. Yeah. Here we are. I'll help you up, Ms. Brooks.

[C]

Oh, thanks, Mr. Boynton. Oh, that was wonderful.

[B]

Welcome aboard, folks.

[C]

Oh, hello, Mr. Conklin. We didn't know you were out here.

[F]

That's all right, my dear.

[D]

Let's go take a boat ride, Ms. Brooks.

[F]

Oh, nonsense. Why should you leave the raft?

[B]

Why shouldn't you?

[C]

Mr. Boynton?

[D]

Yes?

[C]

Last one in is a sugar cookie. We've been walking along the shore for quite a ways. Mr. Boynton, just where is this little pier where the man rents the boat?

[D]

Oh, it's right up ahead, Ms. Brooks. He's got several different kinds of small craft. Personally, I think that flat bottoms are the best.

[C]

Oh, you do? Well, that's what's nice about America. You can think what you like.

[E]

Hi there, folks. I guess you want a boat, huh? Best way in the world to Syh.

[C]

Syh.

[E]

Spend your honeymoon.

[D]

We're not married. We're just here to.

[E]

Oh, not married, huh? Up here for a little PS Private smooch.

[D]

Just a minute. All you have to do is rent us a boat.

[E]

Well, here's one right here with a small motor. Very nice. GFN Good for Necking?

[D]

We're not going to do anything of the sort.

[C]

WSS who says so?

[E]

BT bashful type. Well, go ahead. Get in, Miss.

[D]

Hey. Here, let me help you, Ms. Brooks.

[F]

There.

[D]

We'll pay you when we come in, all right?

[C]

Sure.

[E]

Well, remember, Miss. K Y L O Y H H. Keep your line out. You'll hook him.

[C]

HDR hit the road.

[D]

How do you like the ride, Ms. Brooks?

[C]

Oh, it's very nice, Mr. Boyne.

[D]

I think we better turn around now. We're pretty far from a pier. Hey, that's funny. This steering wheel seems to be stuck.

[C]

It does? Isn't that a rowboat in that little cove? We're heading for a rowboat.

[D]

Yes, it is. I better cut the motor off. Where? We're heading right for them. The ignition lever is stuck, too.

[C]

Oh, my goodness. You've got to do something, Mr. Goynton. We're getting pretty close to that rowboat. Look out. Get out of the way.

[D]

Quick. Ms. Brooks. Lie on the bottom of the boat. I can't stop you.

[C]

Oh, what happened? Did we hit them?

[D]

No, thank heaven. We just missed them.

[C]

Oh, we're terribly sorry, folks.

[D]

Oh, that's all right, Ms. Brooks.

[B]

We didn't really want to catch any fish here.

[F]

Oh, I love eating out in the open air. I'm sure that the spare ribs Ms. Brooks barbecued will be delicious. Don't you think so, Osgood?

[B]

I think I should have made them my barbecue.

[G]

But Mr. Boynton will enjoy them so much more because Ms. Brooks did it. Won't you, Mr. Boynton?

[D]

Well, yes, I suppose I will.

[C]

There you are, folks. I hope they turned out all right. I fixed a plate especially for you, Mr. Boynton.

[D]

Thanks, Ms. Brooks.

[F]

Well, let's fall to everyone.

[G]

Oh, I'll bet they're delicious.

[B]

Might as well taste it. What is this anyway?

[C]

No good.

[B]

Tastes like charcoal.

[F]

Did you do what I told you, dear? Barbecue the ribs slowly with a nice smooth going bed of coals.

[C]

Certainly. I had a lovely bed of glowing coals right over the ribs.

[B]

I'm going into the house and cook myself an egg.

[F]

Wait, dear. I'll fix you something.

[B]

You can't cook any better than she can.

[G]

But Daddy, this is your anniversary dinner.

[F]

Yes, dear. Let's be cheerful. Oh, how we danced on the night we were with.

[B]

Anniversary, my foot.

[D]

I'm going inside.

[C]

We danced and we danced, but she wouldn't drop dead.

[F]

There, dear, wasn't that a nice snack? And just the two of us alone in the kitchen.

[B]

Well, it was better than those barbecued rocks. Martha, if that poor Mr. Boynton falls for Ms. Brooks, I think it'll be.

[F]

We agreed to forget all about it. Let's go out and sit in the hammock together. The mountain air is still with us, you know. And it's quite dark on the porch.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Uh huh.

[B]

What's this?

[D]

Who's that in the hammock?

[G]

It's us, Daddy.

[D]

Us?

[H]

Harriet and me. Mr. Conklin. Happy anniversary.

[G]

Hey, it's Walter Denton, Daddy. He got here while you were inside. I invited him yesterday to surprise you.

[B]

This is the last straw.

[F]

Now calm down, Osgood. Remember your blood pressure.

[H]

It gives him kind of a purpley look, doesn't it?

[B]

I've got to be calm. Let's go for a little stroll, Martha. Maybe we'll run into Mr. Boynton and Ms. Brooks somewhere.

[C]

I doubt it, Mr. Conklin. We're at the other end of the hammock.

[B]

Oh, no. I'll be all right. I'll be fine. Come, Martha. Let's go into our bedroom and go to sleep. Maybe when I wake up in the morning, this will all be.

[F]

We can't go into our bedroom together, Osgood. Now that Walter's here, Harriet and Ms. Brooks and I will have to use our room. You And Walter and Mr. Boynton will have to sleep in the guest house.

[B]

What? Now, this has gone far enough. I'm going to tell you people something.

[C]

Before you do, Mr. Conklin, I'd like to ask you a question.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

How are my chances of being appointed head of the English Department? You don't have to answer now. You can think it over and tell me right after I've blown my brains out.

[B]

Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur Hatch. Mr. Boynton was played by Jeff Chandler, Mr. Conklin by Gail Gordon. Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, dick Krenna, Gloria McMillan, Noreen Gamal and Dink Trout. Bob Lamond speaking for CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

[A]

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[B]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com.

[D]

Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[I]

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