Ozzie and Harriet 44-12-03 (009) Looking for an Apartment

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Ozzie and Harriet 44-12-03 (009) Looking for an Apartment"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
• Episode: Ozzie and Harriet 44-12-03 (009) Looking for an Apartment
• Release Date: February 19, 2025

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "Looking for an Apartment," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, experiencing the charming and relatable adventures of the beloved couple, Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hilliard. Set against the backdrop of post-war America, the episode revolves around the couple's earnest attempts to secure an apartment for their friends, Randy Biglow and his large family, amidst the challenges of housing shortages and unexpected obstacles.

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Plot Overview

The story unfolds on a rainy California evening, beginning with Ozzie and Harriet deciding to help their friends find suitable housing. Ozzie's commitment to doing good deeds sets the stage for their quest. After locating what they believe to be the perfect apartment for Randy and his family, they discover unexpected hurdles that make their mission more complicated than anticipated.

Key Plot Points:

1. Initiating the Good Deed (00:34 - 02:44)

   • Ozzie expresses frustration over their son David reading comic strips instead of the news, highlighting family dynamics and Ozzie's desire to instill good values.
   • Harriet discusses the philosophy of good deeds leading to positive returns, sharing a personal anecdote about her past.

2. Discovering the Lost Wallet (09:26 - 12:52)

   • Ozzie finds a lost wallet containing $76 and ration books, sparking their decision to return it directly to its owner.
   • They visit the local ration board, only to realize they've inadvertently taken someone else's ration book.

3. Attempting to Deliver the Wallet (13:17 - 22:54)

   • The couple faces a series of misadventures, including a humorous encounter with a uniformed officer who recognizes them from the radio.
   • They drive towards Lake Arrowhead to locate the wallet's owner but encounter a flat tire in the pouring rain, leading to further complications.

4. Resolution and Finding the Apartment (23:04 - 27:02)

   • After an arduous walk and an accidental run-in with a fallen apartment sign, Ozzie and Harriet are finally directed to an available apartment.
   • Their perseverance pays off as they secure the apartment for Randy and his family, reinforcing the episode's theme of kindness and its rewards.

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Key Characters and Dynamics

• Ozzie Nelson: Portrays a conscientious and humorous husband, striving to do good while balancing family responsibilities. His character embodies the everyman, facing everyday challenges with determination and wit.

  • Notable Quote:
    "[Ozzie] It's getting very annoying."
    (00:34)
    Expressing his initial frustration with the family situation, setting the stage for his active role in resolving issues.

• Harriet Hilliard: Represents the supportive and pragmatic partner, often encouraging Ozzie to stay positive. Her insights into human behavior and morality provide depth to their joint endeavors.

  • Notable Quote:
    "If you do the right thing, it'll come back to you every time."
    (02:37)
    Harriet articulates the episode's central theme on the philosophy of good deeds.

• Gloria: The domestic helper who adds humor and relatability. Her interactions often highlight the couple's good intentions juxtaposed with everyday misunderstandings.

  • Notable Quote:
    "I tried that once, but it's impossible without a car."
    (04:21)
    Responding to Ozzie's mention of picking up servicemen, showcasing practical limitations.

• Officer: A friendly local law enforcement officer who recognizes the couple from the radio, adding a twist to their journey by requesting a song performance.

  • Notable Quote:
    "I listen to you every week. You know, I've never heard you two sing my favorite song."
    (16:18)
    Establishing a personal connection with the protagonists and injecting light-heartedness into the narrative.

• Randy Biglow: Although not directly present, Randy and his family's impending arrival are the driving force behind the couple's quest, representing friendship and responsibility.

---

Themes and Insights

1. The Ripple Effect of Kindness:
   The episode emphasizes that acts of kindness, no matter how small, can lead to significant and unexpected positive outcomes. Ozzie's dedication to returning the lost wallet not only restores someone else's peace of mind but also results in securing an apartment for friends in need.

2. Perseverance Amidst Adversity:
   Ozzie and Harriet face multiple setbacks—misplaced ration books, flat tires, and rainy weather—but their unwavering commitment to helping others keeps them moving forward. This persistence is a testament to the importance of steadfastness in achieving one's goals.

3. Humor in Daily Struggles:
   The characters infuse humor into their challenges, making the narrative engaging and relatable. Whether it's Harriet's witty remarks or Ozzie's light-hearted interactions with the officer, laughter serves as a coping mechanism for life's hurdles.

4. Community and Connection:
   Encounters with neighbors, helpers, and even law enforcement illustrate the interconnectedness of the community. These interactions highlight the support systems that individuals rely on and the impact of personal relationships.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ozzie Nelson on Good Deeds:
  "What I said was proved tonight. I did a good turn for somebody and even if it wasn't appreciated, it came back to me."
  (26:37)

• Harriet on the Cozy Feeling of Rain:
  "It gives you such a cozy feeling."
  (13:53)

• Ozzie's Humor Amidst Challenges:
  "I almost wish I had the measles."
  (09:00)

• Officer's Recognition and Request:
  "Would you mind singing [the trolley song] for me?"
  (16:24)

• Harriet Reflecting on the Outcome:
  "If you do the right thing, it'll come back to you every time."
  (02:37)

---

Conclusion

"Ozzie and Harriet 44-12-03 (009) Looking for an Apartment" is a delightful episode that combines humor, heart, and relatable challenges. Through the earnest efforts of Ozzie and Harriet, listeners are reminded of the enduring values of kindness, perseverance, and community. The episode's engaging dialogue, memorable characters, and meaningful lessons make it a quintessential representation of the Golden Age of Radio, offering both entertainment and timeless wisdom.

Transcript

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[Ozzie Nelson]

The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. Starring young America's favorite couple, Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hilliard. It's only 9am Mr. Nelson, sometimes known as Ozzie, got up bright and early this morning. How did that happen? Harriet tricked him into it by setting the clock three hours ahead and hiding a sun lamp behind the window curtain. Right now he's in the living room reading the morning paper.

[Harriet Hilliard]

The matter, Ozzy? Some bad news in the papers?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, not that I know of. Why?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, you seem upset about something.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I wasn't going to mention it, but as long as you brought it up, I might as well tell you because it's getting very annoying.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Annoying? What's annoying?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, this is the third morning that David has wrapped up his lunch in the comic page and gone off to school with it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

All right, dear. After this, I'll see to it that David wraps up his lunch in the financial page.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You know I don't like to complain all the time, Harriet, but just try to remember I'm older than David, and as his father, it's my privilege to read the funnies first.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Okay?

Okay. We'll make you a charter member of the Underprivileged Fathers. How's that?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I'd like to have a dollar for every big grown up man who reads Dick Tracy and Little Abner before he reads the editorial page.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I know that. And I'll tell you why the funny papers have such a universal appeal. It's because they are basically sound. It's always a triumph of good over evil.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, it's the same way in real life. You do good things for people. Good things come your way. Of course, I'll admit that every once in a while you do a good deed expressly for somebody and the return comes by slow freight. Didn't you think that was funny?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I gave it two small chuckles. I thought that was all it was worth. Frankly, no.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I know it sounds like corny philosophy, but I really think it works out that way. If you do the right thing, it'll come back to you every time.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I think everyone has had experiences along that line. I'll never forget the time I had a birthday party when I was 10 years old. I gave my little dog a piece of my birthday cake. And the very next day I got lost coming home from school and it got darker and darker.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, go on.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, boy, I was really lost.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, what about the little dog and the birthday cake?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, he didn't like it. He spit it out.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Did Gloria bring in the mail yet?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I don't know. She's out in the kitchen. I'll call her. Gloria. Gloria.

[Gloria]

Did you call me, Mrs. Nelson?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes.

Did the mailman come yet?

[Gloria]

Yes, the mailman's been here, Mrs. Nelson, but it's pretty uninteresting stuff.

[Ozzie Nelson]

A lot of bills again, I suppose.

[Gloria]

Oh, good morning, Mr. Nelson. I didn't see you there in that sports suit. You look very serious this morning.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, we were just discussing the theory that if you do nice things for people, nice things will come your way. Do you subscribe to that philosophy?

[Gloria]

No, I just subscribe to the Ladies Home journal.

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, Gloria, Mr. Nelson means that if you spread kindness and good deeds, it gives you a wonderful feeling of well being. You get a nice warm glow all over.

[Gloria]

Don't you get a terrible hangover the next morning?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, the kind of a glow I mean is the pleasure you get from doing little things for people.

[Gloria]

Oh, yeah.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, for instance, every morning when I go to work, I pick up a couple of servicemen.

[Gloria]

I tried that once, but it's impossible without a car.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Gloria, you don't seem to quite get the point of Mr. Nelson's theory. He means if you do nice things for others, nice things come your way.

[Gloria]

Oh, yes. Like what happened to my poor nephew. The boy I was telling you about, Mrs. Nelson. The one who was framed.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Framed?

[Gloria]

Yes. How was he to know he was driving that stolen car over the state line?

[Ozzie Nelson]

My goodness, when was that?

[Gloria]

The night he held up the gas station.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, how does that fit in with doing a good deed?

[Gloria]

Well, they sent him up to Alcatraz and put him on bread and water. So he did something nice for the warden and the warden did something nice for him.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You did?

[Gloria]

Yes. He put him on raisin bread and water.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, fine. Now, Gloria, the kind of good deed I had in mind is just a little different. Now, I'll give you an example. For the past three weeks, I've been going all over town. Up one street and down Another tracing down every lead and rumor in order to find an apartment for friends of ours who are coming out here from the east.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, and personally, I think that was carrying the good deed program a little too far. You just can't get apartments nowadays.

[Gloria]

It's really terrible. Do you know my cousin and her family are paying $60 a month for two rooms with an adjoining?

[Harriet Hilliard]

An adjoining what?

[Gloria]

I don't know. They haven't been able to get the door open yet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, before we all agree that it's impossible to rent an apartment, I'd like to break the news that I got one for Randy and his family.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Why, darling, that's wonderful.

[Gloria]

Well, Mr. Nelson is a wonderful man.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, thank you, Gloria.

[Gloria]

Can I have this afternoon off?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I guess so.

[Gloria]

Oh, thank you.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, before you go, Gloria, make sure that all the dishes are washed and the beds are made. And phone the grocer and get him tomorrow's list.

[Gloria]

Roger.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You know, I just couldn't seem to make Gloria understand we were talking about, could I?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I don't know. I think she got the general idea along with the afternoon off. Say, who is this Randy that you got the apartment for?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Randy Biglow? Don't you remember? We met him in Toledo, Ohio. He's the president of the Randy Biglow little dandy zipper company.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, really?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, you see their slogan everywhere. Little dandy, the zipper. That's different.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, what's different about it?

[Ozzie Nelson]

It goes sideways.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, you ask a silly question, get a silly answer. I still don't see how in the world you located an apartment for him.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, it wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. They're arriving tomorrow morning. He didn't dare leave until I wired him I had the place all set.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Does he have a family?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I'll say. He has his wife, four children, two dogs and his mother in law. Y that's what made it so difficult. You know, most places won't rent an apartment if you have a mother in law.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Did you say they're arriving tomorrow?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, I did.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, then, don't you think it would be nice if we went over to the apartment to check and see if the people who moved out left it in good order?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Say, maybe you're right.

[Harriet Hilliard]

And I'd like to take along a little something for the living room table.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, that's very thoughtful.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I want the place to look bright and cheery. I'll go get my hat.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, and bring a vase to put it in. Well, come on, Harriet. I think the apartment's right here off the lobby. No, wait a minute now. This isn't it. Just a minute now. Say, maybe this man knows. Pardon me, mister, but do you live in this building?

No, no, I don't. I'm a doctor. I've just been visiting a patient.

You don't happen to know where I could find apartment 101, do you?

Well, yes, that's the apartment I just came from.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Some friends of ours are moving in there tomorrow.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh no. Nobody's going to move in or out of there for at least two weeks.

Well, what do you mean?

I mean that the little boy in there has measles and I've just quarantined the place.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, what are we going to do? Ay, Mr. Bigelow will be here tomorrow and he won't have a place to stay. I suppose all the hotels are crowded.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Crowded? They're jammed. Would you believe it if I told you that last week somebody squeezed the lobby of the Plaza Hotel and people came out of the top like toothpaste?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, I wouldn't.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Neither would I.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You can joke all you want to, but I certainly dread meeting that train in the morning.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, I almost wish I had the measles. If I could only figure. Say, do you see what I see?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Where?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Right there on the sidewalk.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Cigarette butt?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, no, it's a wallet.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, watch out for the string. Remember how we used to play tricks like that when we were kids?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, this is no trick. Gosh, look here, somebody's lost a big fat wallet.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Any identification card?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Let me see. Yeah, Henry Williams, 2397 Mountain View Drive.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, you can mail it to him.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Boy, this guy's really got a few bucks. Here. 5, 10, 20, 40, $76.

[Harriet Hilliard]

My goodness.

[Ozzie Nelson]

All I can say is this makes me look pretty cheap.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What do you mean cheap?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, me with never over $2 in my pocket and this Henry Williams, whoever It is, has 76 bucks.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now you know just as well as I do, Ozzy, that you're very careless of money.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, this guy's careful, huh?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, at least you'll never lose $76.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, if I did lose it, I'd have to lose it at $2 a week.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Come on, it's almost 4:00. You can write him a note when you get home and then mail it to him after dinner.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hey, look at this. His ration books are in it too.

[Harriet Hilliard]

All right, so you can mail them to him with a wallet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, don't you think it'd be much better if we took the books directly to the ration board?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Ozzie, you mean walk all the way down there?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, we've been talking about doing good deeds. Here's our chance.

[Harriet Hilliard]

But, Ozzie, it's 23 blocks.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Darling, walking 23 blocks with you by my side would be a pleasure because you're wonderful, you're beautiful, you're lovely and I love you.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, Ozzie.

[Ozzie Nelson]

This is the first time I've ever been to a ration board. Who do you think I ought to see?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Anybody that'll see you. Why don't you try that man at the desk over there?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay. I beg your pardon. Yes. How do you do? I came here because.

[Unknown]

Because you want more gasoline.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, no, no, no. I don't want any more gasoline.

[Unknown]

You don't?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No.

[Unknown]

Let me smell your breath.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, listen, you don't understand.

[Unknown]

Well, friend, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'll give you that extra gasoline. In fact, I'll give you all the gasoline you want. What do you think of that?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Let me smell your bread. Listen, I didn't come here about any extra gasoline. All I want to do.

[Unknown]

Well, that's perfectly all right. Just fill out this form.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, but I don't want.

[Unknown]

Here's the form, friend. Just fill it out. Now, what's your name?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Ozzie Nelson. But listen.

[Unknown]

Ozzie Nelson.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Occupation, orchestra leader.

[Unknown]

Occupation, non essential. Now, where were you born?

[Harriet Hilliard]

You don't understand. We came here about a ration book that was lost.

[Unknown]

Oh, well, why didn't you say so? That'll be Window C. Just sign an affidavit and tell them where you think you lost it and they'll give you another one.

[Ozzie Nelson]

We don't want another one.

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, we've got somebody else's book.

[Unknown]

Well, don't you know it's against the law to use somebody else's book?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Pardon me. Harriet.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Why don't I just mail this ration book to man along with the wallet?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, that's a wonderful idea, Ozzy. How in the world did you ever think of.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Ozzy has convinced Harriet that the best thing to do about the wallet they found is to return it in person to the owner. We find them driving to the other side of town. It's a typical California evening.

Now, I'm glad we changed our minds about my mailing that wallet. This Mr. Williams might have worried all night about it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I suppose you're right. As long as we're doing a good deed, we might as well go all the way.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Boy, this rain is really coming down.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I'll say it is. You know, I kind of like riding in the rain when it's raining, don't you?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, I do. It gives you such a cozy feeling.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, it does.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Of course, I think it'd be much cozier if we had the top up.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I'm sorry about the top. It just doesn't seem to work.

[Gloria]

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[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, aren't you supposed to push that bottom button?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, I pushed that button once.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What happened?

[Ozzie Nelson]

It opened a bridge in Seattle.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You know, I really believe you keep this top down just to tell that stale joke.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, no.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, there's one thing sure. It can't rain any harder than this.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What did you say, Harriet?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I said it's the first time I've ever been swimming with all my clothes on.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I see what you mean. Gosh, I'm still so worried about that apartment for the Bigelows.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Whoa.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What's the matter?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Don't look now, but there's a man in a uniform riding a motorcycle and he's five following us.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Forget about it. It's probably Nelson Eddy on his way over to visit Janette McDonald.

[Officer]

Okay, buddy, pull over there.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay. Well, hello, officer. Where's the fire?

[Officer]

Right down there. Hey, wait a minute.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I'm supposed to say that we weren't speeding officers.

[Officer]

I know you weren't.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, then what'd you stop us for?

[Officer]

Well, my friend, the next time you make a left turn, see that you put your hand out.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I did, Honest. Feel my sleeve. It's still wet.

[Officer]

Tell that to the judge tomorrow.

[Ozzie Nelson]

It'll be dry by tomorrow.

[Officer]

That's very funny. Let's have your license, please.

[Ozzie Nelson]

All right, here it is.

[Officer]

Say. Say, there's license here. Are you the Ozzie Nelson who's on the radio?

[Ozzie Nelson]

That's right.

[Officer]

Well, gee, it's nice to meet you. And are you Harriet Hilliard?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes.

[Officer]

Oh, gee, I listen to you every week. You know, I've Never heard you two sing my favorite song.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What song is that?

[Officer]

The trolley song. Would you do a special favor for me and sing it?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Huh? Here?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes.

[Officer]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Would you?

[Officer]

For me? Would you mind?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, seems sort of silly, officer, but here goes.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Harriet usually sings the first part of it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

With my high starched collar and my high top shoes and my hair piled high upon my head I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley and lost my heart instead with his life brown derby and his bright green tie he was quite the handsomest of men I started to yen so I counted to 10 then I counted to 10 again.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Clang, clang, clang went the trolley Ding, ding, ding went the bell Zing, zing, zing went my heart stopped for the moment I saw her I fell Jug, jug, jug went the motor Bump, bump, bump went the brake Thump, thump, thump went my heartstring when she smiled I could feel the car shake I tipped my hat, then I took a seat she raised her eyes and I was swept right off my feet I said, oh, she said, you fool she looked so luscious I was starting.

[Harriet Hilliard]

In to drool Buzz, buzz, buzz went the buzzer Plop, plop, plop went the wheel Stop, stop, stop went my heart as he started to leave I took hold of his sleeve with my hand and as if it were plan me and it was grand just to stand with his hand holding mine to the end of the line.

[Officer]

Oh, gee. Gee, that was great. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your singing it just for me.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, thank you, officer.

[Harriet Hilliard]

It was a pleasure.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah.

[Officer]

Gee, I'd know your voices anywhere. And I want you to know that I always listen to you on the radio. I wouldn't miss you. My wife and my kids, we think you're wonderful. Say, I wonder if you'd mind signing my book for me?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Huh? Oh, I'd be delighted to. There you are.

[Officer]

Oh, thank you. Here's your copy. Be in court tomorrow at nine. Bye.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I think this is the house here. Is it 2397?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, that's an number that was in the wallet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, at least we know we have the pleasure making somebody very happy today.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, it'll be worth all the trouble we've gone to when we see their faces light up. They're going to be so happy.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Ring the bell, would you?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Good evening, Mrs. Williams?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes?

We found the wallet that belongs to your husband.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, this wallet here.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Let me see it. Yes, this is his wallet.

It has $76 in it.

Well, where's the other $4 did you take your reward out in advance?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, it. It only had $76 in it when we found it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Look, Mrs. Williams, my husband and I drove all the way over here to return this wallet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, and we live way at the other end of town.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Why didn't you leave the wallet where it was and let somebody find it who lives closer to us?

You mean you don't think we should have picked the wallet up off the.

Co. No, because my husband is out looking for it and now he won't find it.

I must say, you're not very appreciative.

Oh, have you folks had your dinner yet?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Why, no, we haven't.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You're going to be awfully hungry by morning. Good night.

Gee whiz. We keep doing nice things for people and everything turns out wrong. What a night.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Let's not even mention the fact that Mr. Bigelow and family are arriving tomorrow with no place to live. Gosh, Harriet, I hate to say this, but I think we're lost. I can't see out. Where do you think we are?

[Harriet Hilliard]

On the bottom of Lake Arrowhead?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Certainly looks like it, doesn't it? I wish that windshield wiper hadn't washed away two hours ago.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, I guess it could be worse. We could run out of gas or get a flat tire.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I'd hate to fix a flat tire in this rain.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Look, let you and I not even think about having a flat tire. We might have one by just thinking about it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, let's not even think about it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Me and my big fat boss.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Something tells me we now have a tire that needs to be fixed.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, come on. Aren't you going to get out of the car?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, naturally, I don't expect you to jack it up with me sitting in it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

All right, funny man.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay, honey, out we go.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Where'd he go? Ozzy. Ozzy, are those bubbles? You.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, stop yelling. I'm over here. Come on, I'll help you out of the car.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I'm scared.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You kidding? It's not even over your head. Come on. The last one into rotten egg.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Here I come.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Boy, it sure is lucky I have a sense of humor.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, I haven't, and I'm the one who's sitting in the mud. Give me a hand, will you?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Here we go. One, two, three.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Hey, I'll bet I look a mess.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What'd you say?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I said, I'll bet I look a mess.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that is a rather unusual place to be wearing a mud pack.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Ozzy, look at this. Mud and water. You can't fix A tire here.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I guess you're right.

[Officer]

This is awful.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, there's one thing left. Let's start walking.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, Ozzy, it seems like we've been walking for hours.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Where are we? I know exactly. But at least we're in a civilized community. There's nothing but big apartment houses around here.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I'm glad the rain stopped, but that wind's mighty cold.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You think maybe we've walked all the way to Chicago?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oe. Look out. That's your head.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Ouch.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, Okie. Are you hurt? That sign hit you on the head. The wind must have blown it down.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, gosh, what a wallop. Good thing it was only a glancing blow. It might have brained me. Or am I bragging?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Sam, I seen things. Look at that sign that hit you. Does that fit? It certainly does. It says apartment for rent.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Did you say apartment for rent?

[Officer]

Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. So sorry.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Young fel.

[Officer]

I do hope that you're not hurt bad. You see, I was up there hanging that sign when all of a sudden the wind blew like that there and that old sign slipped out of my hand like that there and fell down.

[Gloria]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Officer]

Looked out and landed right on your head.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Shoot.

[Ozzie Nelson]

May I congratulate you, sir, on a remarkably graphic and dramatic description of the.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Event, including sound effects?

[Officer]

No. Oh, it's worth nothing.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, now, now, just to get down to the point. You have an apartment for rent. I have a big lump on my head, a brother in law who is a lawyer and some friends who need an apartment desperately.

[Officer]

Say no more, folks. Say no more. The apartment's yours. Just follow me.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Harriet, Did I hear him right? Did he say the apartment is ours?

[Harriet Hilliard]

That's what the man said. He said it. Gosh, this warm bed feels wonderful.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, there's no place like home. You see, Harriet, what I said was proved tonight. I did a good turn for somebody and even if it wasn't appreciated, it came back to me. I returned that wallet and through doing that I found an apartment for my friend.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I guess you're right, Ozzy. I'll bet it makes you feel good all over.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, yes, I feel great about it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, that's good, dear. But I was just thinking.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What, dear?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Isn't it too bad you have pneumonia?

[Unknown]

This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Unknown]

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