Ozzie and Harriet 45-01-28 (017) Ozzie and the Hypnotist

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Ozzie and Harriet 45-01-28 (017) Ozzie and the Hypnotist
Release Date: February 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this charming episode of "Ozzie and Harriet", listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, where the beloved Nelson household becomes the stage for a comedic exploration of hypnotism gone awry. Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, this episode titled "Ozzie and the Hypnotist" showcases the playful dynamics between Ozzie Nelson, Harriet Hilliard Nelson, and their interactions with friends and associates, all centered around Ozzie's newfound interest in hypnotism.

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Ozzie’s Fascination with Hypnotism

The episode opens with Ozzie and Harriet in their cozy living room, engaged in light-hearted banter about the slow arrival of mail on Rogers Road.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [00:32]: "Any mail today, Oz?"

This seemingly mundane conversation quickly shifts as Ozzie reveals his latest acquisition: a collection of joke books with strange titles.

Key Quote:

Ozzie Nelson [01:06]: "They're there for people with plenty of insurance."

Harriet playfully chides Ozzie for his whimsical interests, setting the stage for his next experiment—hypnotism.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [01:30]: "Ozzy, stop making things up."

Fueled by his reading, Ozzie expresses his belief in hypnotism and his desire to try it out.

Key Quote:

Ozzie Nelson [02:03]: "Life is a constant conflict wherein the stronger mind controls the weaker mind."

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First Attempt: Hypnotizing Harriet and Gloria

Ozzie's initial attempt to hypnotize Harriet proves unsuccessful, highlighting the playful resistance between the couple.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [05:43]: "You're nuts. I'm going out in the kitchen for."

Undeterred, Ozzie turns his attention to Gloria, the household cook, hoping for better results.

Key Quote:

Ozzie Nelson [06:02]: "I'll bet I could hypnotize Gloria, though I think I'll try."

Ozzie's persistent efforts lead to Gloria entering a trance, believing herself to be the famed actress Ethel Barrymore.

Notable Quote:

Gloria [09:00]: "The lights are on. The cameras are turning."

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Seeking Professional Help: Doctor Dipso

Realizing that his self-taught hypnotism has gone beyond his control, Ozzie and Harriet seek the expertise of Dr. Dipso, a professional hypnotist.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [12:10]: "We're here to see Dr. Dipso."

However, Dr. Dipso's unconventional methods and peculiar demeanor add another layer of chaos to the situation, particularly when Gloria's trance deepens.

Key Quote:

Dr. Dipso [13:07]: "You know, this case looks like a distinct schizophrenic tendency with illusions of grandeur and manic depressive syndromes."

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The Waddingtons and Roger’s Hypnotism

The plot thickens with the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Waddington, bringing their own comedic subplot. Ozzie’s attempt to hypnotize Roger Waddington backfires spectacularly, causing Roger to believe he is a ferocious lion.

Notable Quotes:

Roger Waddington [24:21]: "I am a lion, and you are a helpless little lamb."

Harriet Nelson [24:35]: "Roger, stop."

The ensuing chaos underscores the comedic dangers of dabbling in hypnotism without proper knowledge or technique.

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Resolution: Restoring Order

After a day filled with hypnotic mishaps, Ozzie and Harriet manage to coax Gloria and Roger out of their trances, restoring peace to the Nelson household.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [25:14]: "I hope this has taught you a lesson not to fool around with hypnotism and things you don't know anything about."

Ozzie's final remark encapsulates the day's adventures, reflecting on the humorous yet instructive nature of their experiences.

Key Quote:

Ozzie Nelson [25:24]: "What do you mean, me of all people? I never hypnotized anybody."

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Insights and Conclusions

"Ozzie and the Hypnotist" serves as a delightful reminder of the perils and pitfalls of experimentation without expertise. Through witty dialogue and situational comedy, the episode emphasizes the importance of understanding one's limitations and the value of seeking professional help when necessary. Harriet's final admonition to Ozzie underscores the episode's moral: while curiosity leads to fun, it can also lead to unintended consequences.

Key Quote:

Harriet Nelson [25:20]: "What do you mean, me of all people? I never hypnotized anybody."

Overall, this episode blends humor with a subtle lesson on the responsible use of influence and the strength of the human mind, all set against the backdrop of a loving and enduring marital partnership.

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Conclusion

"Ozzie and Harriet 45-01-28 (017) Ozzie and the Hypnotist" is a quintessential representation of the Golden Age of Radio, offering humor, heart, and a touch of mayhem. Through Ozzie's well-intentioned but misguided foray into hypnotism, listeners enjoy a narrative rich with memorable moments and quotable lines, all while celebrating the timeless charm of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Harriet Nelson [00:32]: "Any mail today, Oz?"
• Ozzie Nelson [01:06]: "They're there for people with plenty of insurance."
• Ozzie Nelson [02:03]: "Life is a constant conflict wherein the stronger mind controls the weaker mind."
• Gloria [09:00]: "The lights are on. The cameras are turning."
• Dr. Dipso [13:07]: "You know, this case looks like a distinct schizophrenic tendency with illusions of grandeur and manic depressive syndromes."
• Roger Waddington [24:21]: "I am a lion, and you are a helpless little lamb."
• Harriet Nelson [25:20]: "What do you mean, me of all people? I never hypnotized anybody."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, providing both an overview and detailed insights, complete with notable quotes to enhance the narrative for those unfamiliar with the original broadcast.

Transcript

[Narrator]

The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. Starring young America's favorite couple, Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hilliard. As we look in at the Nelson household at 1847 Rogers Road, we find Ozzie and Harriet seated in the living room.

[Harriet Nelson]

Any mail today, Oz?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, it finally got here.

[Harriet Nelson]

See, the mail is certainly slow in this place, isn't it?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I don't know why we have to live on the only street in Hollywood that won't give up the pony express.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, it eventually gets here. Where is the mail?

[Ozzie Nelson]

It's right here. There's a letter for my Aunt Belinda. It's there if you want to read it.

[Harriet Nelson]

What does it say? Is Uncle George all right?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, he's working now.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, really?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Aunt Belinda says it's the best job he ever had. Uncle George makes fire extinguishers filled with gasoline.

[Harriet Nelson]

Fire extinguishers filled with gasoline.

[Ozzie Nelson]

They're there for people with plenty of insurance.

[Harriet Nelson]

You've been at those joke books again, haven't you? Say, what are those big books over there?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I sent for them. They just came in today. Some of them. They look very interesting, too.

[Harriet Nelson]

Unusual titles, aren't they? Strange Woman, Strange Cargo. What's that one over there called?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that's a book on skin troubles. It's called Strange Mange.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzy, stop making things up.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Darling, when will you that you're married to a man with a mind like a steel trap?

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, brother. You know, honey, you should have been a master of ceremonies. I can just see your name up in lights in front of Slapsy Maxis. Ozzie Nelson, the only master of ceremonies with a steel trapped mind and the fractured skull.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You know, there's a lot to this mental business, though. It's all explained in one of these books here. Life is a constant conflict wherein the stronger mind controls the weaker mind.

[Harriet Nelson]

I'll bet that's what happened to my mind the night I said I'd marry you.

[Gloria]

Are you kidding?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Why, I just mumbled the question. It was practically inaudible. And you shouted yes so loud you scared the daylights out of me.

[Harriet Nelson]

Now, that's where you're wrong. I remember it very distinctly. We were riding in the car and you kept saying, will you marry me? Will you marry me? And I kept shaking my head and.

[Roger Waddington]

Shaking my head back and forth, back and forth.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, that time you had your nose caught in the windshield wiper, and you know it. You'll think differently about this mental business, though, when I hypnotize you one of these days.

[Harriet Nelson]

Hypnotize me? Since when have you been Interested in hypnotism?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, ever since this book arrived.

[Harriet Nelson]

What book is that?

[Ozzie Nelson]

This one here. It's called Strange journeys into the fascinating fields of hypnotism. Or how to tell your best friends before they tell you hypnotism.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Ozzy, do you really believe in that stuff?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Of course I do. You know, I was once in the theater where a hypnotist called a guy up on the stage, and he hypnotized him. He made him cackle like a rooster, bark like a dog, even tried to dig a gopher hole right on the stage. That ought to prove something.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, it proved something, all right. Proves the guy was a big dope.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I am not really, though. They're doing some wonderful things with hypnotism lately. One professor spent two years hypnotizing a cat into thinking she was a dog and finally succeeded.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, that sounds pretty interesting. What was the result?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, nobody knows. She chased herself up a tree and never came down. But you know something, Harriet? From what I've read on the subject, I have a feeling that I might make a good hypnotist myself.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, now that you mention it, when you were in college, weren't you voted the one most likely to put people to sleep?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay, make jokes if you want, but I'll bet I can hypnotize you right now. And I've only read the first chapter. Come on, let me try.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Ozzy, I'm too busy for such nonsense.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, come on. Be a sport.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, okay. Go ahead.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, you've got to cooperate, you know.

[Harriet Nelson]

All right, what do I do?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, first you've got to make your mind a complete blank.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, you want to start even, huh?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, this is the way it's done. Look into my eyes. I am the master. I am your guiding light. Look at me. Look at me.

[Harriet Nelson]

Is that a wart on your nose?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, please, Harrod, if you want to be hypnotized, you've got to concentrate.

[Harriet Nelson]

Okay, I'm concentrating.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Fine. Here we go now.

[Gloria]

Mumbo jumbo hambo bambo bo bo lobo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You are going to sleep. You are going to sleep. Watch me closely. Mumbo jumbo hambo. Bamboo bobo lobo.

[Gloria]

Bobo lobo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You are going to sleep. You are going to Ozzie. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Stare into my eyes. I am your master. I am your guiding light. I am your Svengali.

[Harriet Nelson]

You're nuts. I'm going out in the kitchen for.

[Roger Waddington]

A cup of coffee.

[Harriet Nelson]

Why don't you read the book over a few more times, honey?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I want to get somebody to hypnotize while it's fresh in my mind. Say, maybe Gloria.

[Mrs. Waddington]

No.

[Harriet Nelson]

No, you don't. Now, Gloria's busy in the kitchen cooking dinner.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, gosh.

[Harriet Nelson]

And I've got things to do, too. I'll be back later.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Gee, I wonder why that didn't work on Harriet. I guess she must have too much willpower to be hypnotized. I'll bet I could hypnotize Gloria, though I think I'll try. Only this time, I'll use a subtle approach. Oh, Gloria. Gloria.

[Gloria]

Did you call me, Mr. Nelson?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, I did, Gloria. How's dinner coming?

[Gloria]

Oh, pretty good. I'm bashing the potatoes now.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, no. You mean mashing the potatoes, don't you, Gloria?

[Gloria]

No, I was bashing them. Can I help it if I have a nasty temper?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, I don't want to take up too much of your time because I know you're very busy out there in the kitchen.

[Gloria]

Yes, and I'm having a lot of trouble with that turkey I'm cooking.

Oh, really?

Yes. Every time I start to close the oven door, he looks at me as if to say, don't fence me in.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, that's just your imagination, Gloria.

[Gloria]

Maybe it is. I have such a vivid imagination, Mrs. Nelson. You know, I once thought I resembled Dorothy Lamour.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Dorothy Lamour?

[Gloria]

Isn't that silly? And all along I'm this fitting image of Lana Turner.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You know, Gloria, I saw a little glint in your eye this afternoon, and I was thinking maybe you're preparing some special surprise for me.

[Gloria]

Well, I was going to mix you one of my cocktails. I call it the Gloria Special.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, really? How do you make it?

[Gloria]

Well, first you take a very large glass.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes.

[Gloria]

Then you pour in two quarts of gin.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes.

[Gloria]

That's all.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You mean, that's all, brother. Gloria, I'll tell you what I really wanted to talk to you about. What do you know about hypnotism and clairvoyance?

[Gloria]

Not very much, Mr. Nelson. I always listen to Abbott and Costello.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, Gloria. Hypnotism is the power to make people realize their secret ambitions. For instance, how would you like to become Betty Grable?

[Gloria]

Me? Grable?

[Ozzie Nelson]

That's right. In five minutes, I could convince you that you are Betty Grable.

[Gloria]

You might convince me, Mr. Nelson, but my legs would never believe it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

If you only had a secret ambition, Glory. I could hypnotize you right into it.

[Gloria]

Oh, but I have. I always wanted to be a great dramatic actress like Ethel Barrymore.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, wonderful. Why didn't you say so I'll tell you what you do. Now, you just relax and you look at me. Look me right in the eye. Mumbo jumbo, hambo, bambo, bo bo, lobo. Repeat after me. I am a great dramatic actress.

[Gloria]

You are a great dramatic actress.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Say, you do like Abbott and Costello, don't you?

[Gloria]

Oh, yes.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, look me in the eye. Repeat these exact words. I am making a great Shakespearean picture.

[Gloria]

Look me in the eye and repeat these exact words. I am making a great Shakespearean picture.

[Ozzie Nelson]

The lights are on. The cameras are turning.

[Gloria]

The lights are on. The cameras are turning.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Over in one corner.

[Harriet Nelson]

Quiet on the stick.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Gee, I think I hypnotized Maria Moria.

[Gloria]

Ms. Ethelberry, more please. To be or not to be married.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Come quick. I've hypnotized Gloria.

[Mrs. Waddington]

I've hypnotized Gloria.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzy, after all, fun is fun. But it's been three hours since she hypnotized Gloria, and she still thinks she's Ethyl Baramore.

[Gloria]

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

[Harriet Nelson]

Can't you possibly snap her out of it?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, it says in the book to snap my fingers like this.

[Gloria]

Romeo, Romeo, climb up on the ladder. Romeo, climb up on the ladder. Romeo. My joints are a little stiff, aren't they? QB or nut?

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Ozzie, this is beginning to be serious. Let's get a professional hypnotist over here right away.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, I'm afraid you're right. But what are we going to do with Gloria in the meantime? She's just standing there stiff as a poker.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah, yeah, she really is stiff as a poker, isn't she? Ozzy, what are you doing?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I'm moving her over here. I think she'll look better next to the fireplace.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Ozzy, stop clowning and let's. Is this the place, Ozzy?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, it says Dr. Dipso. Come on, let's go in.

[Dr. Dipso]

How do you do? Something I can do for you?

[Gloria]

Hmm?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I.

[Dr. Dipso]

Or would you rather come back sometime when your wife's not with you?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I, I, I, I, I. We. We came to see Dr. Dipso.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, come. The doctor see us. This is quite an emergency.

[Dr. Dipso]

Oh, well, I'm sure he'll be with you in just a moment. He's in the next room with some poor fellow who thinks he's an airplane.

[Doctor]

Now, young man, you're convinced that you're not a B29? Oh, yes, doctor. I can't imagine how I ever thought I was a B29.

[Gloria]

Oh, that's good.

[Doctor]

I feel so much better now that I know I'm a P38. Well, goodbye, Doctor.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Happy landings, young man.

[Doctor]

And now, what can I do for you?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, we've come to you with a very urgent case, Doctor. You see, it's the result of a hypnotic spell that caused some sort of an awful stupor.

[Doctor]

Oh, yes, a pitiful case. You poor man. What is your name?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, no, not me. We're here together.

[Harriet Nelson]

You see, Dr. Dipso, my husband here hypnotized our cook, Gloria. Now, he can't snap her out of it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

And we thought we could get you to come over to the house and help us.

[Doctor]

Oh, yes, yes, of course. Nurse.

[Gloria]

Yes, Dr. Dipster.

[Doctor]

Nurse, I'm going to be busy for a while. Will you call Dr. Kildare, Dr. Brent, Dr. Christian and Dr. Gillespie? Have you got that?

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes.

[Dr. Dipso]

You want me to call Dr. Kildare, Dr. Brent, Dr. Christian and Dr. Gillespie. What shall I tell them?

[Doctor]

Tell them the poker game is off.

[Harriet Nelson]

Doctor, this is Gloria. The young lady who's in the trance.

[Doctor]

Hmm. How can you tell?

[Gloria]

Queen Merrilman. Countrymen, lend me your ears.

[Ozzie Nelson]

See what I mean, Doc?

[Doctor]

You know, this case looks like a distinct schizophrenic tendency with illusions of grandeur and manic depressive syndromes. I believe there's been only one other case like it in medical history.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, really?

[Doctor]

Yes, but don't worry. I'm cured now.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You see, Doc, she thinks she's Ethel Barrymore.

[Doctor]

Well, let's see what we can do. Mumbo jumbo, Hambo Bambo, bobo lobo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

See, Harriet, the doctor used the same words I do.

[Doctor]

Ipso facto foomph.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah, plus a couple he carved out of his own head. You think you can do anything for a doctor?

[Doctor]

Oh, I think so, Mrs. Nelson. You see, hypnosis is merely the power of the forceful mind. Over the weeks.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Mind?

[Doctor]

Just watch a moment and you'll see how strong my mind is. Gloria, look into my eyes. You are not a dramatic accent, you hear? You are not Ethel Barrymore Mumbo jumbo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You are Gloria Mumbo.

[Gloria]

I'm Ethel Barrymore.

[Doctor]

Hambo bamboo. You are Gloria.

[Gloria]

Hambo Bamboo. I'm Ethelberry Mark.

[Doctor]

Now comes the supreme test. I must have absolute quiet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You'll be quiet now, Gloria.

[Doctor]

Bo Bo Lobo. You are now Gloria.

[Gloria]

Mobo lobo. I am now Gloria.

[Ozzie Nelson]

It works. Glory is okay.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, that's wonderful. Thanks a million, Dr. Dipso.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Dr. Dipso.

[Doctor]

There must be a mistake. I am not Dr. Dipso.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Then who are you, silly boy?

[Doctor]

Don't you recognize me?

[Ozzie Nelson]

I am Ethel Barrymore.

[Gloria]

I got a gal who's always Late, anytime we have a date. But I love her. Yes, I love her. I'm going to walk up to her gaze and see if I can get it straight. Cause I want her. I'm gonna ask her. Is you is or is you ain't my baby? The way you're acting lately makes me.

[Harriet Nelson]

Doubt.

[Gloria]

Use Is still my baby, baby. Seems my flame in your heart done gone out A woman is a creature that has always been strange. But when you're sure of one you find she's gone and made a change. Is you is or is you ain't my baby? Maybe baby's found somebody new. Or is my baby still my baby true?

[Harriet Nelson]

I know I told the preacher I would love and obey. I think I'll go and tell him you've been acting up this way. Is you with me? You ain't my baby.

[Gloria]

Oh, now, honey, how can you talk like that?

[Harriet Nelson]

Maybe baby found somebody new.

[Gloria]

Oh, me, oh my, you know that ain't true.

[Harriet Nelson]

Or is my baby still my baby true?

[Narrator]

Getting back to Ozzy and Harriet, it seems that Ozzie got more than he bargained for when he started fooling around with hypnotism. Harriet, who knows her husband only too well, is a little worried that he may do some more experimenting in this unusual field. So let's see what happens next.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzie Nelson. Look, I want you to promise me one. That you'll never hypnotize anyone again. You promise?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes. With two exceptions.

[Harriet Nelson]

You mean you have two people you want to get under your spell?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah. Lana Turner and the head of the gasoline board.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, that's silly. Really, though. You know, you can get yourself into a lot of trouble by being so positive about these things.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, you know as well as I do that you wouldn't want me to have a negative outlook on life.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, might be a lot safer, Darling.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Let me pass on a little solid philosophy that I recently heard.

[Harriet Nelson]

Such as, for instance, you gotta accentuate.

[Gloria]

The positive, eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don't mess with Mr. In between. You gotta spread joy up to the maximum. Bring gloom down to the minimum. Have faith for pandemoniums Liable to walk upon the scene. To illustrate my last remark. Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark. What did they do Just when everything looked so dark. Man, they said we gotta accentuate the positive, Eliminate the negative. Lat's yawn to the affirmative. Don't mess with Mr. In between. Don't mess with Mr. In between. To illustrate my last remark. Jonah and the whale. Noah in the ark. What did they Do. Just when everything looked so dark.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Man.

[Harriet Nelson]

Said we gotta accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on Cause the affirmative don't mess with Mr. In between don't mess with Mr. In between oh, I'll get it. Hello there. Oh, Ozzy, it's Mr. And Mrs. Waddington. Won't you come in?

[Mrs. Waddington]

Oh, yes, thank you, Harriet. We can only stay a moment. Roger, take off your hat.

[Roger Waddington]

Yes, my dear.

[Harriet Nelson]

I just love your new furs, Mrs. Waddington.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Oh, thank you. They're an anniversary present.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, they're very pretty. What kind of fur are they?

[Mrs. Waddington]

Weasel, I think. Roger, didn't these furs come from a weasel?

[Roger Waddington]

Yes, my dear. I gave them to you yesterday.

[Mrs. Waddington]

As a matter of fact, we're on our way to the dress shop now. Roger wants me to buy a few new dresses, some new shoes and a new coat. Don't you, Roger?

[Roger Waddington]

Yes, my dear.

[Harriet Nelson]

Aren't you gonna buy anything, Roger?

[Roger Waddington]

Well, there is something I wanted to buy, but she won't bless me.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, why not? Is it too expensive?

[Roger Waddington]

Well, I don't know. How much does a bubble dancer cost?

[Gloria]

Hello, folks.

[Ozzie Nelson]

How are you?

[Mrs. Waddington]

Oh, hello.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzy's had a pretty hectic day today. He's been fooling around with hypnotism.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Hypnotism? Pure nonsense.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, that's what I thought, too, until he hypnotized Gloria.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Sure, it's really much easier than you think. All it takes is a little practice and a strong mind.

[Roger Waddington]

Well, I ought to make a good hypnotist because I have a very strong mind.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You do?

[Roger Waddington]

Yes, of course. It's in escrow now.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Say, you know, I have an idea. Why don't I hypnotize you, Roger?

[Mrs. Waddington]

Oh, stuff and nonsense.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, now, Ozzy, haven't we had enough for one day?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Roger, what would you like to be more than anything else in the world?

[Roger Waddington]

Sing.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, really, Roger. I have a wonderful idea.

[Mrs. Waddington]

I don't think I'm going to like this.

[Harriet Nelson]

Me either.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Roger, look me in the eye.

[Gloria]

Mumbo jumbo hambo bamboo bo bo lo bo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You are no longer a mouse. You are a lion. A ferocious lion.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Roger. Roger, there's a strange look in your eye. What's the matter, Roger?

[Roger Waddington]

Shut up, you old goat.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Roger, what's come over you? This is your little wifey, your little dream kisser.

[Roger Waddington]

Dream kisser?

[Mrs. Waddington]

That's what you've always called me.

[Roger Waddington]

And you know why? I never dreamed anybody could have such a kisser.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Why, you don't know what you're saying.

[Roger Waddington]

Yes, and you can go shopping by yourself? Because I'm gonna meet the boys and play poker.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Over my dead body.

[Roger Waddington]

Nothing could make a nicer table.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Ozzy. Ozzy. What have you done to my dear little husband?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Gosh, I sort of hypnotized him, I guess.

[Roger Waddington]

I am a lion, and you are a helpless little lamb.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Roger, don't. Don't look at me that way. Ah.

[Harriet Nelson]

Roger, stop.

[Gloria]

Save me.

[Harriet Nelson]

I am a lion.

[Roger Waddington]

I'm going to tear you apart.

[Mrs. Waddington]

Get up off that floor and come home with me this instant. Is that clear? Roger.

[Roger Waddington]

Roger.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzy.

[Roger Waddington]

I thought you said I was supposed to be the lion.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that's hypnotism, Roger. Well, this has really been a mad day, hasn't it?

[Harriet Nelson]

It certainly has. And I hope this has taught you a lesson not to fool around with hypnotism and things you don't know anything about.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, you're a fine one to make speeches about hypnotism. You of all people.

[Harriet Nelson]

What do you mean, me of all people? I never hypnotized anybody.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, no, you can tell that to others, but you can't tell that to me. Cause I was there when you hypnotized them. Yes, sir. The first time you looked at me, dear, I was lost in a dream. When you smiled, I just melted away. And I hope I remain under your spell for the rest of my life. Well, one thing is certain. I sure am glad we got Glory out of that spell.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah. You know, I was really getting worried about her. Thank goodness she's perfectly normal again.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, she snapped out of it fine. Say, isn't it about time that she announced dinner?

[Harriet Nelson]

Practically ready. She'll announce at any minute now. Come on.

[Gloria]

Ye for whom the bell toll.

[Ozzie Nelson]

All I can say is, I hope Ethel Barrymore can cook.

[Narrator]

This is the armed forces radio circuit.