Ozzie and Harriet 45-03-25 Ozzie learns about Reincarnation

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Ozzie and Harriet 45-03-25 Ozzie Learns About Reincarnation

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing themselves in the warm and humorous dynamics of the Nelson household. The episode, titled "Ozzie and Harriet 45-03-25 Ozzie Learns About Reincarnation", originally released on April 6, 2025, delves into themes of family, promises, and the whimsical quest for knowledge.

Main Plot: Ozzie's Quest for Understanding Reincarnation

The story unfolds at the Nelson family's home on 1847 Rogers Road, where Ozzie and Harriet Nelson are sharing lunch with their young son, David. The episode kicks off with David misspelling the word "reincarnation" in his spelling test, which piques his parents' interest in the subject.

Notable Quotes:

• Harriet Nelson [03:25]: "Reincarnation."
• Ozzie Nelson [04:02]: "That's a very interesting subject. I remember I wrote a composition on it in school."

Ozzie's Promise and Initial Efforts

Determined to nurture David's curiosity, Ozzie promises to discuss reincarnation in detail and procure a book titled The Trip Back by Bartlett Graham. This sets him on a mission that showcases his commitment as a father.

Interactions with Gloria and the Bookstore

Ozzie's first attempt to purchase the book leads him to a local bookstore owned by Mr. McQueen. Here, he encounters obstacles as the bookstore is out of stock. The humorous exchange highlights Ozzie's frustration and the challenges of fulfilling his promise.

Notable Quotes:

• Ozzie Nelson [07:35]: "What was the name of that book again? Dear."
• Mr. McQueen [08:21]: "Oh, yes, of course. Of course I know the book you mean, but we're all sold out of it."

Crossroads and New Avenues

Undeterred, Harriet suggests visiting a public library, only to discover that The Trip Back is already checked out. This setback adds to Ozzie's determination, illustrating the lengths a parent will go to honor a child's interests.

Interactions in Beverly Hills Bookery

Following Harriet's advice, Ozzie ventures to the upscale Beverly Hills Bookery. Here, he meets Mr. Waddington, who offers an extravagant, albeit overpriced, version of The Trip Back. The transaction underscores the contrast between accessibility and exclusivity in the quest for knowledge.

Notable Quotes:

• Mr. Waddington [22:30]: "Have you read Jack the Ripper Rips Back?"
• Ozzie Nelson [24:23]: "$75 is too much, even if it's got the author in the pouch."

Resolution: Multiple Copies and Community Support

Despite the hurdles, Ozzie's perseverance pays off when multiple sources—Mr. Waddington, Mr. McQueen, and Gloria—provide him with copies of the book. This resolution highlights the supportive community surrounding the Nelson family and the collaborative effort to fulfill a child's educational needs.

Notable Quotes:

• Mr. McQueen [26:14]: "I succeeded in locating a copy of the Trip Back, that book on reincarnation that you wanted."
• Gloria [26:25]: "Remember I told you my boyfriend Elmer was always reading books? Well, he had a copy of the Trip Back and I got it for you."

Family Dynamics and Humor

Throughout the episode, the interplay between Ozzie and Harriet adds a layer of warmth and humor. Harriet often plays the role of the mediator, balancing Ozzie's determination with practical solutions, while also managing interactions with other characters like Gloria and Mr. Waddington.

Notable Quotes:

• Harriet Nelson [18:36]: "If you'd only calm down for a moment, I could tell you about this message Gloria left the library..."
• Ozzie Nelson [21:09]: "Honey, the point is, where am I gonna get that book now? I just gotta get it tonight."

Conclusion

Ozzie and Harriet 45-03-25 Ozzie Learns About Reincarnation is a delightful exploration of family bonds, the importance of keeping promises, and the humorous trials of fulfilling a son's academic interests. Through Ozzie's determined quest and Harriet's insightful support, the episode underscores the enduring values of love, dedication, and community support inherent in the Nelson family.

Final Thoughts

This episode not only entertains but also imparts gentle lessons on perseverance and the significance of nurturing a child's curiosity. The seamless blend of humor, relatable family scenarios, and the charming portrayal of 1950s domestic life makes it a memorable addition to Harold's Old Time Radio collection.

Transcript

[Talkspace Advertiser]

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[Narrator]

The Adventures of Ozzy and Harriet starring young America's favorite couple, Ozzy Nelson and Harriet Hilliard. As we look in at the Nelson household at 1847 Rogers Road, Ozzie and Harriet are at lunch. Their little son David is having lunch with them.

[Harriet Nelson]

Come on, Davey, get a move on. We've got half a glass of milk left.

[Ozzie Nelson]

There.

[Harriet Nelson]

Okay, Mom.

[Ozzie Nelson]

See, I think I'll have another piece of this bread. It's awful good. Will you pass the butter, dear?

[Harriet Nelson]

Okay. It's not butter, though. It's a substitute.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, well, then will you pass the margarine?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, it's not margarine. It's a substitute.

[Ozzie Nelson]

A substitute for margarine.

[Harriet Nelson]

Mm. Read what it says on the jar. Here it is.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Crummy sandwich spread made from guess what? With artificial coloring. Fine.

[Harriet Nelson]

Finish your milk, David. And for goodness sakes, watch your manners. Gosh, Mommy, you sound like a top sergeant today. You're telling me. And I'm getting pretty tired of it, too. David, you're supposed to chew with your mouth closed. I'm sorry, Mom. Daddy, do you know how to chew with your mouth closed?

[Ozzie Nelson]

David, A married man even learns to talk that way.

[Harriet Nelson]

You want some more vegetables, David? No, thanks.

[Ozzie Nelson]

They're good for you. Make you grow up to be a big, strong man.

[Harriet Nelson]

I don't want to grow up. Because when people grow up, they get married. That's silly. You can grow up, but you don't have to get married. Okay, then I'll have some more vegetables.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, what happened, David, that made you so sour on marriage?

[Harriet Nelson]

Barbara Jones, the girl that sits in front of me at school.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, really?

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah. She says when she gets married, she's gonna have her own home, a bank account, two bicycles and three pairs of roller skates. You think that's wrong? Well, sure. I wouldn't want a wife who was out roller skating. When she was supposed to be home making fudge for me. Come on, David. Finish your lunch. Mommy, why'd you marry Daddy? I married your daddy because I loved him.

[Ozzie Nelson]

That's right. And I married Mommy because I loved her.

[Harriet Nelson]

Gee, don't people have the funniest reasons for getting married?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hey, you'd better hurry up or you're going to be late for school there, young fella.

[Harriet Nelson]

David, drink your milk. Incidentally, Daddy, David's been doing very well in school lately.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, well, that's a fine boy, David.

[Harriet Nelson]

Mm. He only missed one word all week in spelling, and that was a pretty hard one.

[Gloria]

Yeah.

[Harriet Nelson]

Reincarnation.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that shouldn't have been so hard, David. What did you do, spell it with only one C?

[Harriet Nelson]

No, he spelled it with two. That's why it was wrong.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, yes. Ah, yes, reincarnation. It's a very interesting subject. I remember I wrote a composition on it in school.

[Harriet Nelson]

Will you tell me about it tonight, Daddy?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I'll be glad to, son. In fact, there's a very good book on the subject as I recall it. Let's see. Yeah, it's called the Trip Back, by Bartlett Graham.

[Harriet Nelson]

Isn't reincarnation the belief that people return to the earth in some other form. Like a cow or a dog or something?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, that's a general idea.

[Harriet Nelson]

In fact, I think that's why cows are so highly respected in some parts of the world where they believe in reincarnation.

[Ozzie Nelson]

They must be the cows that give reincarnation milk. David, I'll bet you brag to all the boys how clever your old man is.

[Harriet Nelson]

How much do you want to bet, dad? You better leave for school pretty soon, honey. Okay. Is that a promise then, dad? You'll get the book and tell me about it tonight.

[Ozzie Nelson]

It's a definite promise. I'll go down and buy the book this afternoon.

[Harriet Nelson]

Now, look, you better hurry to school. You're gonna be late. You can get your dessert when you come home. Okay. See you later. Don't forget. Now, Pop, I hope you can locate that book. Because when you make a promise to David, you know he'll hold you to it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I'll get it right after lunch, as a matter of fact. It'll be easy. It's quite a well known book, you know.

[Harriet Nelson]

You're all finished, aren't you, dear?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah.

[Harriet Nelson]

I'll call Gloria then. Gloria? Oh, Gloria.

[Gloria]

Did you call me, Mrs. Nelson?

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, I did. Gloria, we're all finished with lunch. It was very good, too.

[Gloria]

Oh, thank you.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I don't think I want any dessert, Gloria. I have to hurry downtown and see if I can locate a book for David. It's a book on reincarnation.

[Gloria]

Reincarnation? What's that?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, reincarnation is just what they call it when things keep coming back in different forms.

[Gloria]

Oh, they do that all the time at the restaurant where I eat.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, Gloria, this is a little different. Reincarnation means the return to earth in a varied form. Now, you take myself, for instance. I'm a musician now, but I might come back in a few hundred years as a giraffe.

[Gloria]

Really?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Mm.

[Gloria]

And you're gonna look awful silly playing a Saxophone.

[Harriet Nelson]

I think Mr. Nelson would be more likely to come back as a tired wolf.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, now, take it easy.

[Gloria]

That sounds more like my boyfriend, Elmo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Elmo? I thought his name was Elmer.

[Gloria]

It was, but he changed it from Elmer to Elmo.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, really?

[Gloria]

He feels it goes better with his blue search suit.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I guess I'd better be going down the bookstore. Would you like to go with me, darling?

[Gloria]

No, I don't think so.

[Harriet Nelson]

It.

[Gloria]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah, it might be fun. Is there any book you'd like us to get you, Gloria?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, there's nothing like a good book at night if you're troubled with insomnia.

[Gloria]

Oh, I'm never troubled with insomnia. I just lie down near the edge of the bed and in a few moments I fall off.

[Harriet Nelson]

I imagine Gloria doesn't have to worry about getting to sleep after all the work she does around here.

[Gloria]

Not only that, but I've been taking exercises.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, really?

[Gloria]

Oh, yes. I've been doing exercises for several weeks now. I can touch my knees without bending the floor. Well, ask the mananas. Elmer always says.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Elmer speaks Spanish too, huh?

[Gloria]

Oh, yes. He used to go out with a Spanish hacienda.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hacienda? That's a house.

[Gloria]

That's what he likes them built like. Well, I better clear away these dishes.

[Harriet Nelson]

Okay, Gloria.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, come on, Harriet, if you're going to the bookstore with me, let's go.

[Harriet Nelson]

Is this the place you meant, honey?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah, this is it.

[Harriet Nelson]

What was the name of that book again? Dear.

[Ozzie Nelson]

The Trip Back by Bartlett Graham.

[Narrator]

Good afternoon. Welcome to our little book nerd.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, thank you.

[Narrator]

Allow me to present myself. I'm Mr. McQueen, the owner of the shop.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, how do you do? I'd like a book.

[Narrator]

Well, you've come to the right place, as the saying goes. What's the matter? Doesn't the saying go that way?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, I suppose so. The book I had in mind.

[Narrator]

Oh, you needn't hurry making a selection. You can browse till you drowse.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Thanks.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, thanks, but we know exactly what we want. Thank you.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, we came in here for the trip back.

[Narrator]

Have you tried the Greyhound bus station?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, I don't think you understand. You see, the Trip Back is a book on reincarnation by Bartlett Graham.

[Narrator]

Oh, yes, of course. Of course I know the book you mean, but we're all sold out of it. Now, isn't that a crying shame?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, it is rather disappointing because I promised my little boy that I'd have it for him this evening.

[Narrator]

Well, if you'll leave your name and phone number, I'll call you just as soon as we get a coffee.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay, I'll do that. And thanks again for all your trouble.

[Narrator]

Oh, no trouble at all. In fact, I'm glad you came in when you did. Another five minutes alone and I'm sure I would have peaked at forever. Amber.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Bye.

[Narrator]

Bye.

[Harriet Nelson]

Gee, it's too bad they didn't have it, Ozzy.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, well, maybe somewhere else.

[Mr. Waddington]

Well, hello. Hello. Fancy meeting you here.

[Harriet Nelson]

Why, it's Mr. And Mrs. Waddington. Are you out shopping?

[Mr. Waddington]

Roger and I were just going into this bookstore to buy a book for Roger. He. Roger, stop snapping your bubble gum.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, my dear.

[Mr. Waddington]

Are the instruments of knowledge. And intellectual curiosity is a wonderful thing. There's nothing like a good book to stimulate the mind, I always say. What do you always say, Roger?

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, my dear.

[Mr. Waddington]

Of course, you realize that I myself appreciate the finer things in literature.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, naturally.

[Mr. Waddington]

I'm especially fond of Shakespeare.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, you should be. He took you out once or twice.

[Mr. Waddington]

Roger, sometimes I wonder why I ever married you.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, don't look at me. It wasn't my idea. Well, I hope you find what you want in that bookstore. We didn't have much success.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, what book were you looking for, Mr. Nelson?

[Ozzie Nelson]

The trip Back. It's a book on reincarnation.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, that's a fascinating subject. Reincarnation. You know, if that theory is correct, I just wish I could come back to this world as a rhinoceros. A fierce, fearless rhinoceros.

[Harriet Nelson]

My goodness, why is That a surprise to you, Roger? Oh, yes, indeed. I didn't know you could be the same thing twice.

[Mr. Waddington]

That's enough out of you, Roger. You're coming right along with me, straight home. I'm not buying you any books.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, my dear.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, and Mr. Nelson, may I suggest that you try the public library? They might have that book you're looking for.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, thank you. Say, that's a good idea. Oh, and by the way, Roger.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, Mr. Nelson?

[Ozzie Nelson]

If you could come back to earth in some other form, what would you like to come back as?

[Harriet Nelson]

I have my choice of anything at all.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, anything at all. What would you like to be?

[Harriet Nelson]

Let me think. Oh, I've got it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay. What do you want to come back as?

[Harriet Nelson]

As a tube of toothpaste.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You want to come back as a tube of toothpaste? Why?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, when she steps on me, I want to go all over her.

[Mr. Waddington]

Lasha. Roger, just for that, do you know what I'm going to do to you when we get home?

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, no, dear. Oh, please, not that. Not that. Not the rubber hose.

[Mr. Waddington]

Goodbye, folks. Come along, Roger.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, my dear.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Poor little Roger. Well, dear, let's go over to the library, shall we? A couple of friends of mine wrote a song. It was a pretty song like this.

[Harriet Nelson]

Don't sweetheart me if you don't mean it. Don't talk sweet words if they're not true. Don't tear my heart like it was paper. Because my heart loves only you.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You can't go round sweethearting others and then pretend that I'm yours exclusively. Love must be true. Mean what you're saying unless you do. Don't sweetheart me. That's how the song was originally written. And then the Torch Singers took it over and developed it into everything.

[Harriet Nelson]

But don't sweetheart me, don't sweetheart me. Because you're mean to me. Why must you be mean to me? You know you're just my bill and you know you always will. For I'll be loving you all. That's just why I say. Music maestro. Please don't sweetheart me. Then there's the extra word. Man, he really butchers it up with added words like this.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Don't sweetheart me, you honey baby. If you do you to be sorry. I know what to do to you. And if you do then you'll regret it. Wait and see. Don't sweetheart me and don't forget it, my sweet, you heard me say it hot or I'll repay it me. And then the dance bands take over the melody and write their super special arrangements. Don't sweetheart me.

[Narrator]

And now, back to the Nelson family. Ozzie and Harriet have gone over to the library in search of the book on reincarnation that Ozzie has promised David. It's beginning to look as though Ozzie might have a little difficulty getting that book. By this evening, as our scene opens, Ozzie and Harriet are entering the library.

[Harriet Nelson]

Gee, it's quiet in here.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, of course, it always is in the library. I think I hear steam escaping.

[Harriet Nelson]

Come here.

[Mr. Waddington]

I want to talk to you.

[Narrator]

Cut it out, Woody.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I've got my wife with me.

[Mr. Waddington]

Please, I'm the librarian. I just want to tell you you'll.

[Harriet Nelson]

Have to be more quiet. Oh, I'm very sorry. We'll be quiet.

[Mr. Waddington]

Thank you. Oh, dear. I still hear a noise.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I'm awfully sorry, miss. I think my heart is beating.

[Harriet Nelson]

We'd like to borrow a book. The trip back.

[Mr. Waddington]

Do you have a membership card?

[Harriet Nelson]

No, we don't.

[Mr. Waddington]

Well, you'll have to join the library first. Just fill out this card and we'll notify you when your application is approved.

[Talkspace Advertiser]

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[Harriet Nelson]

Wayfair.

[Talkspace Advertiser]

Every style, every home.

[Ozzie Nelson]

But I must have the book for tonight.

[Mr. Waddington]

I'm very sorry, sir. Those are my orders.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, Ozzie, you might as well fill out a card anyway.

[Narrator]

Okay.

[Mr. Waddington]

Well, whatever you do, remember, please be ever so quiet.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, yes, yes, we understand.

[Ozzie Nelson]

We must be ever so, ever so.

[Harriet Nelson]

Quiet.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Don'T breathe a word it may lead to a riot can't you hear the tick of the clock? Hickory, dickory, dickory dock. We must be ever so, ever so.

[Gloria]

Quiet.

[Harriet Nelson]

We must be ever so, ever so quiet Wyatt. Riot. Quiet. Don't breathe a word it may lead to a riot. Wyatt, Riot.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Can't you hear the tick of the clock? Dickory, dickory, dickory dock.

[Harriet Nelson]

We must be ever so, ever so quiet. Ozzy, ever since we got home, you've been complaining about the public library system. No use getting so upset about it, you know.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I just think the whole thing is ridiculous. After all, I have my rights. I'm a citizen and a taxpayer. The idea not trusting me for a book, it's just unbelievable, that's all.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, honey, if you'd only calm down for a moment, I could tell you about this message Gloria left the library phoned before we got home and approved your application. Now you can come down anytime you want and take your book out.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, that's better.

[Harriet Nelson]

Sure.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, my gosh. Look at that message that Gloria left. Is she kidding? Looks like somebody shot ink at the paper from a spray gun.

[Harriet Nelson]

Here, let me see it. Ozzy, that's the note you left for the milkman last night. Here's a message from Gloria.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, well, what we need around here is a new pen. I think somebody stole this one from the post office. I'll get it. Hello?

[Narrator]

Hello, Mr. Nelson?

[Ozzie Nelson]

That's right.

[Narrator]

Mr. Nelson, this is Mr. McQueen at the bookstore.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, yes.

[Narrator]

I succeeded in locating a copy of the Trip Back, that book on reincarnation that you wanted. It's $2.50.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh. Oh, I see.

[Narrator]

The reason I called is that there's a customer right here who's very anxious to buy it. So if you've changed your mind about the book, he'd like to have it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, to be truthful with you, I found a copy of the book myself at the public library in. That's just around the corner.

[Narrator]

Then you don't mind if I sell this one?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, you're sure you can?

[Narrator]

Oh, yes. The man's right here.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, fine. Well, then you sell it. To him. And I'll get mine from the library. It'll save me a trip downtown. Thanks very much for calling.

[Narrator]

Oh, that's okay. Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Goodbye. Say, did you hear that, Harriet? Now that I can get the book at the public library, the fellow at the bookstore calls up and says he's got my copy.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, really? What are you gonna do about it?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, fortunately there was a customer in the store who wanted to buy it, so I didn't have to take it. I'll get it, Harriet. Hello?

[Harriet Nelson]

Hello, Mr. Nelson?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, this is Mr. Nelson.

[Harriet Nelson]

This is the public library calling. I just wanted to make sure that you got the message I left this afternoon.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yes, I got it all right. Thank you. I'll be down in a few minutes for the book.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, that's fine. I have your library card right here for you. Let's see now, what was the name of the book you wanted?

[Ozzie Nelson]

The Trip Back by bartlett graham.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, Mr. Nelson, I'm so sorry. We very seldom have a call for that book. But one of our members came in a little while ago and borrowed it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You mean you don't have it there now?

[Harriet Nelson]

It'll be back in a week. They can only keep it for a week, you know, unless they renew it for another week.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, gosh, I want it for tonight.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Nelson. However, when the memory returns it, we'll hold it here and notify it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, thanks just the same. I'll try to get one somewhere else. Goodbye. How do you like that? Some other member already borrowed that book from the library.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, gee, that's a shame.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Honey, the point is, where am I gonna get that book now? I just gotta get it tonight.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, darling, it's not a matter of vital importance. You can just explain to David that you'll get the book some other time if it's impossible to get it. It's impossible, that's all.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Harriet, please. If you think you can explain to a kid who's been brought up on Superman, Dick Tracy, Captain Midnight, but anything is impossible. Oh, Harriet, you just don't know your eight year old boys.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, take it easy, dear. If you'll stop long enough to take a breath, I'll tell you where you can probably get your book.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, really? Where?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, why don't you try that fancy bookshop out in Beverly Hills? They're supposed to have everything.

[Ozzie Nelson]

That's a wonderful idea. Where's my hat?

[Harriet Nelson]

On your head.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, yeah, I'm off.

[Harriet Nelson]

I begin to think you are off to Beverly Hills.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hello.

[Mr. Waddington]

How do you do? Welcome to the Beverly Hills, Bookery.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, thank you. I'd like to buy a book.

[Mr. Waddington]

That's all very well, but we don't just sell ordinary books, you know.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You don't?

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, my goodness, no. We specialize in rare books with rare bindings.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I.

[Mr. Waddington]

Now, what kind of a book would you like? A mystery story, maybe?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, no.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, that's fine. Now, our Mr. Morbid is in charge of mystery stories. And you're in love. Here comes Mr. Morbid now. Mr. Morbid, this young man is interested in mystery stories, murders and such.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Listen, I like. You like murders, eh? That's nice, because I like murders too.

[Narrator]

Have you read Jack the Ripper Rips back?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No. No, I. I haven't.

[Narrator]

Well, have you read 100 bodies and a Girl?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No.

[Narrator]

Now, here's a lovely book just came in. It's called 20 Ways to Murder your husband. Listen to this list of delightful chapters. Murder by Poison, Murder by Hatchet, Murder.

[Harriet Nelson]

By Sledgehammer, Murder by.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, no, no, no. I don't want that kind of book at all. I just want a book.

[Narrator]

Oh, why didn't you say so? You want a love story. Well, we can take care of that right away.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You must.

[Narrator]

You must meet Miss Mezzanine. She's in charge of our love story.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Listen, I. I just came in.

[Mr. Waddington]

All right.

[Narrator]

Oh, Miss Mezzanine, this young man is interested in.

[Mr. Waddington]

Hello. What's the name of the book you wanted?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Book? What book? Oh, of course, a book. I would buy a book. I, I Yai yi, yi. Do you have a copy of what every young man should know?

[Mr. Waddington]

Well, I'm not sure now.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, wait. Wait a minute. That wasn't the title. Nothing needs to think.

[Mr. Waddington]

Now you'll have to give me the title. All those piles of books are in alphabetical order.

[Harriet Nelson]

Do you like the way they're arranged?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, yes. I think everything around here is pretty well stacked.

[Mr. Waddington]

Thank you. Now, what's the title of the book?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, I remember the trip back. Have you got a copy?

[Mr. Waddington]

Well, I'll have to look and see. Just a moment.

[Ozzie Nelson]

It's by Bartlett Grant.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, yes, here it is.

[Mr. Waddington]

Isn't it beautiful? We just have this one copy at popular prices.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, fine. How much is it?

[Mr. Waddington]

Only $75.

[Ozzie Nelson]

$75? You call that a popular price?

[Mr. Waddington]

We like it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, but $75 is a lot of money.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, but look at the book. It's bound with genuine kangaroo skin.

[Ozzie Nelson]

$75 is too much, even if it's got the author in the pouch.

[Mr. Waddington]

Oh, but you look like a man with Discerning tastes. A man who appreciates the best. Here, let me fix your tie.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Okay, but it's not gonna help you. I'm not spending $75 for any book.

[Harriet Nelson]

But Ozzy, spending $75 for a book, That's a lot of money.

[Ozzie Nelson]

I know, but look at it. It's bound with kangaroo skin.

[Harriet Nelson]

$75 is too much. Even if it's got the sales girl in the pouch?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that's a matter of opinion. But Harriet, what could I do? I had to get the book. You know, I couldn't disappoint David after making that promise that I'd have it here tonight.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, darling, I meant to tell you when you came in. I just remembered 10 minutes ago that we promised the boys they could go over to Mother's.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What?

[Harriet Nelson]

Uh huh. She picked him up at school this afternoon. But I'm sure David will enjoy the book when he gets back next week. I'll get it. Thanks, Mrs. Hello. Hello.

[Mr. Waddington]

I just stopped by for a moment. I know how much you wanted that book, the trip back, Mr. Nelson. And when I saw it in another bookstore, I picked it up for you. Here it is. And I hope you enjoy it. Goodbye now.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, can you beat that? I have two. Come in.

[Harriet Nelson]

Hello, Mr. Nelson. I'm the librarian.

[Mr. Waddington]

I just got another copy of the Trip Back.

[Harriet Nelson]

Here it is.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Harriet Nelson]

Come in.

[Gloria]

It's me, Mrs. Nelson. Gloria. I got a surprise for you, Mr. Nelson.

[Ozzie Nelson]

For me?

[Gloria]

Yes. Remember I told you my boyfriend Elmer was always reading books? Well, he had a copy of the Trip Back and I got it for you. Here it is.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Very nice of you, Gloria. Gosh. Freak. What is this? Come in.

[Narrator]

Mr. McQueen. Again? I just wanted to make sure that you got your copy of Trip back at the library, Mr. Nelson. Just in case you didn't, I brought one along with me.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oh, well, gosh, thank you.

[Narrator]

Oh, the pleasure is all mine. Bye.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Bye.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, Ozzy, will you please tell me what you're going to do with five trips? It.

[Narrator]

This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.