Ozzie and Harriet 45-09-16 (042) Lodge of Unicorns

Summary

---

Ozzie and Harriet 45-09-16 (042) "Lodge of Unicorns"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: November 10, 2025
Summary of Main Episode Content

---

Episode Overview

This charming episode of Ozzie and Harriet centers on Ozzie Nelson’s initiation into a comically mysterious men's lodge called the "Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters" (nicknamed "The Lodge of Unicorns"). As Ozzie navigates the lodge's unique initiation requirements, hilarity ensues at home with his wife Harriet and their two sons. The story lampoons secretive fraternal organizations, marital dynamics, and the challenge of constant agreeableness—with Ozzie caught in the middle.

---

Key Discussion Points & Comedic Situations

1. Dinner Table Banter & News of the Lodge

• The episode opens with the Nelson family at dinner, where the classic struggle of getting children to eat their vegetables is underway. Ozzie mentions he has an "important evening" (lodge initiation).

  • Quote:
    David: "But I don't like spinach, mother." (01:42)
    Harriet: "If you don't eat your spinach, you don't get dessert." (01:46)

• Harriet teases Ozzie about his penchant for joining lodges:

  • Quote:
    Harriet: "You're already an elk, a moose and an eagle. Now you're gonna be a monster." (02:54)

• Ozzie reveals the lodge's full name and that new members are called "unicorns," not monsters:

  • Quote:
    Ozzie: "If I have sufficient fortitude to withstand the rigorous ordeal of initiation, I will emerge a full-fledged unicorn. Junior grade, of course." (03:24)

---

2. The Lodge's Mystique and Family Skepticism

• David, the son, questions the logic of the lodge and its traditions, to Ozzie’s bemusement.
• The humor continues as Harriet wonders whether the initiation is physically dangerous, only for the family housekeeper, Gloria, to share her wild stories about joining "clubs" such as the Lonely Hearts Club and supposedly corresponding with Humphrey Bogart under a pseudonym.
  • Quote:
    Gloria: "He wanted my picture, so I sent him one of Lauren Bacall, and he married her." (06:55)

---

3. Ozzie’s Initiation: The Lodge’s Unique Test

• At the lodge, Ozzie is greeted with phony grandeur and mythic backstory (the lodge supposedly dates to the Paleozoic Era).
• Instead of an expected paddling, the "ordeal" is a test of agreeableness:
  • Quote:
    Lodge Leader: "You must agree with everything that everyone says until 5 o'clock tomorrow afternoon." (11:31)
  • Ozzie's reaction: "Oh, that's a cinch." (11:43)

---

4. Chaos at Home: Agreeableness Gone Awry

• The next morning, Ozzie’s struggle to be agreeable leads to comic contradictions and mounting household chores:

  • Harriet and David catch onto Ozzie's forced compliance quickly, leading Harriet to pile on requests, including buying an expensive fur jacket, more oatmeal, and a mountain of household chores.
    • Quote:
      Harriet: "Don't you agree with me, dear?"
      Ozzie: "Yes, yes, I agree with you, dear." (21:35)
    • David, delighted: "I like him better this way." (20:18)

• Harriet transparently manipulates the situation, getting Ozzie to do all the housework.

  • Ozzie laments: "I'm lucky if I live until 5 o'clock." (22:55)

---

5. Neighbors, Mistaken Identity, & the Test’s Climax

• Neighbor Harry arrives to mock Ozzie for his endless list of chores.

• The farce builds with an unexpected visit from "Senorita Hacienda," who mistake Ozzie for "Mr. Jackson," claiming they partied together the night before, much to Harriet’s confusion.

  • Quote:
    Senorita: "You look very different in the daytime... you have shaved off your mustache." (25:28)
  • Ozzie, defeated, just agrees: "Yes, yes. Yes." (25:31)

• The 5 o'clock whistle finally ends Ozzie’s ordeal.

  • Quote:
    Ozzie: "The five o'clock whistle. I made it." (27:28)

---

6. Harriet’s Reveal & the Episode’s Resolution

• Ozzie realizes Harriet timed her requests perfectly, exploiting his vow of agreeableness.

  • Quote:
    Ozzie: "You worked me like a... I was trying to be agreeable and you were just needling me along." (27:52)

• Harriet confesses she knew Ozzie’s test because he talks in his sleep.

  • Quote:
    Harriet: "You talk in your sleep." (28:16)

• Humorous final reconciliation:

  • Harriet: "Ozzy, I have a TL for you."
  • Ozzie: "What is it?"
  • Harriet: "I like you much better as your old obnoxious self." (29:20-29:21)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Lodge Initiations:
  "For thousands of years, brother unicorns all over the world have been exchanging the hand clasp of good fellowship." (04:16)

• Agreeableness Comedy:
  "Let's play a game where nobody talks." (21:39)
  "Ozzy, are you crazy?" / "Yes, dear." (20:14-20:15)

• Family Dynamic:
  "All this happened as a result of my being initiated into a secret lodge." (29:00)

---

Important Timestamps

• Lodge revealed, Ozzie to be a "unicorn" – 02:46–03:24
• Gloria’s Lonely Hearts Club story – 06:13–07:20
• Ozzie’s initiation and test is explained – 11:31–11:43
• Ozzie tries to be agreeable at breakfast – 18:21–21:17
• Harriet takes advantage of Ozzie’s agreeableness – 21:24–22:55
• Neighbor Harry & Senorita Hacienda chaos – 23:32–26:20
• 5 o’clock whistle, test ends – 27:28–27:30
• Harriet confesses she knew the secret – 28:16

---

Tone & Language

The episode maintains the playful, gentle, and quick-witted tone characteristic of Ozzie and Harriet: affectionate sarcasm, marital banter, and situational comedy that pokes fun—never malice—at family life and mid-century American norms.

---

Closing Reflection

Listeners are treated to a classic sitcom scenario turned on its head, where the secret challenge is not courage or pain, but good-natured agreeableness—setting off a domino effect of misunderstandings, wily family schemes, and gentle comeuppance for Ozzie. The episode closes with Harriet’s loving jab: she prefers Ozzie as his authentic, cantankerous self, making for a heartwarming and funny listen.

---

For those new to the series or revisiting Golden Age radio comedy, this episode delivers a snapshot of sitcom style storytelling: cozy, clever, and filled with laughs about the everyday.

Transcript

[A]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

[A]

Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[B]

America's finest silver plate is 1847 Rogers Brothers.

[A]

Yes, America's finest silver plate is 1847 Rogers Brothers. From Hollywood International Silver Company, creators of 1847 Rogers Brothers silver Plate presents the adventures of Ozzy and Harriet. Starring young America's favorite couple, Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hilliard. As we look in at the Nelson household at 1847 Rogers Road, the entire family, Ozzie, Harriet, 8 year old David and 5 year old Ricky are at the dinner table. As our scene opens, Harriet is giving David one of those David, eat your spinach looks. As she says, David, eat your spinach.

[B]

But I don't like spinach, Mother.

[A]

Now, David, let's not have any more of this nonsense. If you don't eat your spinach, you don't get any dessert. That's all.

[B]

What are we having for dessert, Mom? Stewed prunes. But eat your spinach anyway.

[A]

Look at little Ricky. He's eating his.

[B]

You can't go by him, Pop. He eats rubber bands too.

[A]

David, will you please give me a chance to relax a little? I've got a pretty important evening ahead of me.

[B]

Is it something you can talk about in front of us kids? Oh, sure. David, your father's just been initiated into a secret organization tonight. Gosh, another one, Pop, that was exactly my reaction. David, it isn't enough that your father is a member of six or seven lodges already.

[A]

Now he has to please Harriet. After all.

[B]

What's the name of this one, Pop?

[A]

David, the name of an organization is comparatively unimportant.

[B]

Hey, come to think of it, you didn't tell me either. What is the name of it?

[A]

Harriet, you judge an organization by its members, by its background and by its good fellowship.

[B]

Ozzie, what is the name of the organization?

[A]

The Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters.

[B]

Goodness, dear, this is getting to be a little frightening. You're already an elk, a moose and an eagle. Now you're gonna be a monster.

[A]

Okay, okay. Now tell me I've got a good head for it and we'll all laugh.

[B]

Well, it certainly seems silly to go through some bruising initiation just to be greeted as a fellow Monster?

[A]

Harriet, I don't know all the rules of the lodge, but I don't think I'm allowed to let you say that. Anyway, the new members are not called monsters. They're called unicorns.

[B]

Unicorn.

[A]

That's right. And if I have sufficient fortitude to withstand the rigorous ordeal of initiation, I will emerge a full fledged unicorn. Junior grade, of course.

[B]

What's a unicorn, dad?

[A]

Well, it's an animal. And it looks like a horse has a horn coming out of its forehead.

[B]

And you want to be one?

[A]

David, we just use that as a stage symbol. Now, the unicorn is a mythical animal that was said to live in herds of about 40 or 50. They lived in caves and they're now extinct.

[B]

50 animals in one cave. No wonder they. David, eat your thing.

[A]

You know, Harriet, I. I think you'd feel different about my joining this organization if you realized how much tradition there is behind it.

[B]

Oh, I don't really mind it.

[A]

For thousands of years, brother unicorns all over the world have been exchanging the hand clasp of good fellowship.

[B]

Did they have a secret handshake?

[A]

Oh, of course. I'll learn it tonight. Then, when someone gives me the handshake, that's how I can tell he's a unicorn.

[B]

Isn't it easier to tell by the horn on his forehead?

[A]

Well, we don't really wear horns on our forehead, David.

[B]

Oh, that's good. I was wondering where you'd put your hat. Well, did I Pop?

[A]

He's a good little guy, all right.

[B]

The only thing that has me worried, dear, is aren't these initiations awfully physical? Don't they beat you with paddles and stuff?

[A]

Well, I suppose so. But whatever they have to offer, why, I'll just have to take it if I'm to be accepted as a unicorn.

[B]

Well, you're the one who's doing it. I'll tell Gloria we finish dinner. Oh, Gloria. Gloria. Did you call me, Mrs. Nelson? Yes, Gloria, I. We're all finished. Dinner. Going to the movies tonight? I'm afraid not, Gloria, now that we have a unicorn in the house. I do my best, Mrs. Nelson. They must come from the house next door.

[A]

I think I'd better come to the rescue here, Gloria. To put it plain as possible, I'm going to join a lodge.

[B]

Oh, I see. A lodge. What.

[A]

Now, Gloria? I'm becoming a member of a lodge. You know, sort of a club.

[B]

Oh, that's nice. I'm interested in joining clubs. What advantages does this club offer?

[A]

Gloria, all the members of this club are men.

[B]

What other advantages do they?

[A]

You don't understand, Gloria. This club is interesting in men only.

[B]

Well, so am I. Now, Gloria, they don't allow women to join. Oh, well, it's just. Well, I already belong to three clubs. The Book of the Month, Automobile and Lonely Hearts. That must keep you plenty busy. Oh, yes, My favorite is the Lonely Hearts. Oh, have you met any interesting people there? Oh, there's some very nice people who belong. Like, for instance, Humphrey Bogart.

[A]

Humphrey Bogart?

[B]

Of course, he belongs under another name. Willie Hinkle. Oh, I was corresponding with him, and I didn't know he was really Humphrey Bogart until he sent me his picture.

[A]

Oh, Gloria, that couldn't be Humphrey Bogart.

[B]

Oh, yes, it was, because he wanted my pictures. So I sent him one of Lauren Bacall, and he married her. Well, Gloria, why didn't you send one of your own pictures to the Lonely Hearts Club? Oh, I did, but they sent it right back. They said they weren't that lonely.

[A]

Gloria, I can tell by your conversation that the big interest in your life is romance.

[B]

Well, not exactly, Mr. Nelson, but just once I would like to walk into a dance and have everybody say, who is it? Instead of what is it? Well, I'll see you later.

[A]

Hey, you know, I'd better get moving or I'm gonna miss this initiation completely.

[B]

Well, good luck, Darren. Ozzy, please be careful, won't you?

[A]

Okay. And get that worried look off your face. My insurance is all Pa. I wonder what they're really going to do to me, this initiation. Well, I'll find out in a little while, I guess.

[B]

Oh, hello, Mr. Nelson. Going somewhere?

[A]

Oh, hello there. Yes, I am, emmy Lou.

[B]

But, Mr. Nelson, where are you going without Mrs. Nelson? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, Mr. Nelson, and I'll understand. I just finished reading a beautiful story about a man who used to sneak out on his wife. But little did he know that she had a private detective following her.

[A]

Emmy Lou, I have bad news. William. Mrs. Nelson knows exactly where I'm going.

[B]

Oh, does she really?

[A]

Yeah. I hate to let you down like this, but I'm going over to the large hall. I'm being initiated tonight into the Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters.

[B]

Oh, how positively thrilling. And do you know something? I think you'll make an absolutely fascinating monster.

[A]

Thanks, I guess.

[B]

Gosh, I hope they don't hurt you, Mr. Nelson.

[A]

Oh, I think I'll survive, Emmy lou. I'm afraid Mrs. Nelson thinks it's going to be too tough for me, though. She doesn't seem to think I'm very rugged.

[B]

Oh, you must be mistaken. Every woman tries to believe that her husband is the bravest and strongest in the world. It's just that it's harder for Mrs. Nelson.

[A]

Well, I'll be seeing you, Emmy. Who knocketh on that door? A brother who accompanied the lowly worm who desire to great honor of admittance into the Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters. Gosh, it's very impressive. Silence. I command that the door be opened by brothers Triceratops. Where is the lowly worm who desires to enter our sanctum? Right here. Excellent. Is it you who knocketh and desireth admittance? Is it you who knocketh and desireth admittance? Well, yes, I guess so. You understand, you not, O Worm, that you are begging to be admitted into an organization that was founded 194,201,945 years ago? Yes, I understand it as well. The Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters was started when the first two hunks of animal life crawled out of the Paleozoic ooze and shook hands as they shared the first bit of dry mud on earth. From this friendly meeting was formed this, the greatest of all organizations of brotherly friendship. Are you ready for our membership test? Yes, sir. Remove his blindfold. Brother Diplodocus, it is as you have commanded. Almighty Tyrannosaurus Rex. Hello, fellas. Silence. Okay, I'm ready to be tested. Get the paddle out and begin using it. All I ask is that you throw a little water on when my pants start smoking. Oh no. That is not the way we test. Anyone can stand physical pain. Particularly weak minded person. But we have something more difficult in mind. Whatever it is, I'm ready to go through with it. Good. We believe that our test will prepare you to continue happily through life. For it requires great fortitude, self discipline and above all the ability to be amiable and agreeable. So your test is that you must agree with everything that everyone says until 5 o' clock tomorrow afternoon. Oh, that's a Sid. Silence. Excuse me. I think you will find it difficult. Many men have taken the test, but very, very few have ever passed it. I, the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex of the Amiable and Antique Order of Prehistoric Monsters have spoken. Okay fellas, bring on the beer and sandwiches.

[B]

America's finest silver plate is 1847 Rogers Brothers.

[A]

American industry is getting into full stride. Soon all you dreamed about, all the things that make home more comfortable, more lovely, will be at your disposal. The miraculous television set. The new Refrigerator with all its scientific innovations. And yes, the lovely silver plate you've so fervently desired, so patiently waited for. 1847 Rogers Brothers Silver Plate. And when it is again available, and that will be soon, you'll see that all we've been saying about 1847 Rogers Brothers is unmistakably true. You will see that 1847 Rogers Brothers is America's finest silver plate. That there is nothing in Silver Plate that can surpass its rich, heartwarming luster, its exquisite and imaginative patterns. You will see that the high raised, deeply etched ornamentation of 1847 silver plate does give it a look of rich, solid silver. It's all we've told you about, all our many friends have told you about. Silver Plate to enrich your home. 1847 Rogers Brothers silver plate. Presenting those four lovely singing stars, the famous King Sisters.

[B]

I would gather stars out of the.

[A]

Blue for you Just for you and.

[B]

I'll make a string of pearls out.

[A]

Of a dew for you Just for you.

[B]

Over the highway and over the street Carpets of clover I lay at.

[A]

Your feet oh, there's nothing in this.

[B]

World I wouldn't do.

[A]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

[A]

Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company Affiliates Excludes Massachusetts. Time is precious. And so are our pets. Pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments. And shipping is always free. With Dutch. You'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care. For you maybe just for you.

[B]

I would get a star out of the blue.

[A]

For you.

[B]

For you.

[A]

And I'd.

[B]

Make a soul Dream or care I'll do.

[A]

For you.

[B]

For you.

[A]

Over the.

[B]

Highway and way over the street Great big fat car pursuit over I will lay at your feet oh, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do.

[A]

For you I would love for you.

[B]

I.

[A]

Do it all for you and now let's get back to Ozzy and Harriet and see what's going on at 1847 Rogers Road. Ozzy's initiation into the lodge last night was a little different than he anticipated. As our scene opens, he's talking on the telephone, checking his instructions with the chairman of the initiation committee. What's that? Yes, sir. Okay, I'll repeat them back. As my final test of friendliness and congeniality. I am to be friendly to everyone and to agree absolutely with everything Everybody says until 5 o' clock this afternoon. Okay. Thank you, sir. Goodbye. What a cinch. I can do this, stand on my head. All I gotta do is agree with everything everybody says. Nothing to it. Coming, dear. Goodbye.

[B]

My goodness, what have you been doing? We're practically finished breakfast.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I've been talking on the phone. I can't tell you what it's about either. It's secret stuff regarding the Lodge. And how is my beautiful wife this morning?

[B]

Oh, Ozzie, you needn't be sarcastic just because I haven't done my hair yet.

[A]

I was, but. Yes, Harriet here. It's a lovely morning.

[B]

Isn't it too cool for me?

[A]

Yes. Come to think that it's cool. Very cool. Terribly cool.

[B]

What isn't terribly cool?

[A]

No, of course not. Not terribly cool. Just medium cool.

[B]

Care for some oatmeal?

[A]

No, I don't. Yes, yes, I'd love some.

[B]

You'd love some? But Ozzy, you said the other day you don't like oatmeal.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes, what?

[A]

Yes, I don't like oatmeal.

[B]

But if you really want some, here's a nice heaping bowl. Full. Morning, Mother. Good morning, dad.

[A]

Oh, good morning, David.

[B]

Hot out today, isn't it, dad?

[A]

Yes, it is, David.

[B]

Ozzy, I thought you said it was cold.

[A]

It's. It seems to be getting hot now.

[B]

Cold and flesh.

[A]

Did you have your breakfast, David?

[B]

Long ago. I just came in to ask you if I could buy a football.

[A]

Why, yes, David.

[B]

Gee, thanks. Oh, Ozzy, don't you think David is too young to play football?

[A]

He certainly is.

[B]

Oh, dad, can't I play football?

[A]

Why, sure.

[B]

But Ozzy, isn't it too dangerous for him to play football?

[A]

It sure is.

[B]

But I can buy the football.

[A]

Yes, David.

[B]

Ozzy, are you crazy?

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

I don't know if he's crazy or not, Mother, but I like him better this way.

[A]

Oh, what a kid. Well, there, at last I finished the oatmeal.

[B]

Care for another helping?

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

Tell me, dear, did the initiation go well last night?

[A]

Oh, yes, fine. Thanks.

[B]

Well, that's nice. Ozzy, I want to ask a little favor of you.

[A]

Uh.

[B]

Oh, you remember that nice fur jacket that I looked at two months ago?

[A]

Oh yes, I remember it very well.

[B]

It was beautiful, wasn't it?

[A]

Well, it was lovely. But do you remember the price tag there?

[B]

Uh huh. Wasn't much at all, was it?

[A]

No, not at all.

[B]

Well, darling, would it be all right if I went down and bought it today?

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

More oatmeal?

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

Oh, and another thing.

[A]

Dear.

[B]

As long as you're gonna be home, don't you think it'd be nice if you'd rake the leaves up and mow the lawn and trim the hedge and clean up that mess in the basement?

[A]

I'll carry it.

[B]

Don't you agree with me, dear?

[A]

Yes, yes, I agree with you, dear.

[B]

Oh, and I agree with you.

[A]

Let's play a game.

[B]

What kind of a game?

[A]

Let's play a game where nobody talks.

[B]

But I wanted to ask.

[A]

The first one who talks is a rotten egg.

[B]

Ozzy, what's the matter with you? Aren't you feeling well? What you need is to get your strength back. Here, you better have some more oatmeal.

[A]

Thanks loads. Harriet, do you have any cotton batting in the house?

[B]

Why yes, dear. Why?

[A]

I want to stuff it in my ears.

[B]

Ozzy, what's wrong with your ears?

[A]

Nothing. I just don't want to lose any oatmeal.

[B]

Well, I'll see you later. De want to get this shopping done and I know you have plenty to do.

[A]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, hello dear. When did you get back from town?

[B]

Oh, about 10 minutes ago.

[A]

Well, I finished the mowing.

[B]

Oh, but dear, look at all those ridges you left in the lawn.

[A]

Okay, dear, I'll do it over again. Mow the lawn, burn the leaves, clip the hedge. Yes, yes, yes. Until 5 o'. Clock. I'm lucky if I live until 5 o'. Clock. Oh no, not that laughing hyena. How can I possibly be agreeable with him? Oh, hello Harry.

[B]

And you were the guy who said.

[A]

He knew how to get out of working around the yard.

[B]

Hey, I bet the little woman finally grabbed you and made you work. Oh, this is killing me.

[A]

Down on that, Harry. Oh brother, you can see yourself. You're the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[B]

Hey, hey, look out with those hedge clippers.

[A]

Get away from me. I won't hurt you.

[B]

Harry. I like you.

[A]

Look out, you rip the button off. Michael, look out. Help.

[B]

Darling, did you finish mowing the lawn and clipping the hedge and raking the leaves and cleaning the basement.

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

Will you answer the door?

[A]

Yes, dear.

[B]

My little half tamale.

[A]

Josh, I'm off. Be sorry. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting you.

[B]

Why, Mr. Jackson, how can you say such a thing? You naughty boy. Don't you remember me, Rosita Hacienda.

[A]

Well, I, I, I, I, I, I.

[B]

Now you remember me, don't you? This. We have a wonderful time last night, Mr. Jackson.

[A]

Mr. Jackson. My name is.

[B]

You know something? You look very different in the daytime.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, but of course. You have shaved off your mustache.

[A]

Yes, yes. Yes.

[B]

You are Mr. Jackson?

[A]

Yes. Andrew Jackson. George. Yes, yes.

[B]

Wasn't it a wonderful evening? We did the roomba, we did the samba we did the conga we did the bomba A jinga jinga boomba jinga jinga. For goodness sakes, what's going on here? Sounds like a. Sounds like a whole porch is caving in. Who's this?

[A]

Well, this is Senorita Hacienda. Senorita, this is my wife, Harriet. Harriet.

[B]

This is your. Your wife? Did you say Senorita Hacienda? How can her name be Hacienda? Hacienda's a house.

[A]

Well, that's what she's built like. Oh, that's built.

[B]

Aw, your husband is such a gay fellow. Ah, we had a wonderful time last night, didn't we, my little hot tongue Molly? Well, Ozzy, did you.

[A]

Yes, but Harriet, I'm sure you must understand there is a very reasonable explanation for this, don't you. I'm sure you understand that, don't you, dear? I don't like the tone of what you're not saying.

[B]

I hope I have not made a mistake. I had a nice time last night with somebody. We did the room.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

We did a sa. We did the conda. We did the. Well, there's a five o' clock whistle.

[A]

The five o' clock whistle. I made it.

[B]

Aussie, how would you like to help me pick some flowers?

[A]

No, I don't want to do anything. Harriet, you work me like mad today.

[B]

Ozzy, you're supposed to agree with everyone or you won't get in the lodge.

[A]

That was only until 5 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

Hey, wait a minute. How did you know I was supposed to agree with everybody to get into the lodge?

[B]

Well, there, you see?

[A]

So that's it. You knew I'd have to agree with you and you took advantage of me. You worked me like a. I was trying to be agreeable and you were just needling me along. Oh, Harry.

[B]

Sometimes I'm just a fiend.

[A]

How did you know about it? Did the Lodge brothers tell you?

[B]

No, dear. You did.

[A]

I did?

[B]

Mm. I suppose I should have told you this a long time ago, but. Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. There. You talk in your sleep.

[A]

How long have I been doing this?

[B]

Ever since we were first married.

[A]

Gosh, I suppose I make up a lot of silly stuff.

[B]

On the contrary, you're very interesting.

[A]

I imagine this must get awfully annoying to you, me talking in my sleep.

[B]

No, dear, I don't mind it when you talk in your sleep. But it does annoy me a little when you just lie there and chuckle.

[A]

Just think, all this happened as a result of my being initiated into a secret lodge. Yeah. Well, there's one nice thing, though, dear. You can always say that for one whole day you were married to a husband who was sweet, kind, completely agreeable and generous. It must have been wonderful.

[B]

Ozzy, I have a TL for you.

[A]

What is it? There.

[B]

I like you much better as your old obnoxious self. Thank you, dear.

[A]

Ozzy and Harriet will be back in a moment. Now back to Aussie and Harriet.

[B]

Ozzie. Ozzie, dear. Oh, poor Ozzie. He certainly fell asleep in a hurry tonight. No wonder, after the date he put in, he sure was a good sport about it all. I miss telling tomorrow I was only kidding about buying all those things. Oh, look at him sleeping so peacefully with that nice smile on his face. Oh, my gosh, I wonder what he's dreaming about.

[A]

Jinga. Jinga Bo. This is CBS and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch. You'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.