Ozzie and Harriet 53-10-30 (369) Homemade Ice Cream

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Ozzie and Harriet 53-10-30 (369) Homemade Ice Cream"

Episode Information:

• Title: Ozzie and Harriet 53-10-30 (369) Homemade Ice Cream
• Release Date: May 26, 2025
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: This episode delves into the charming dynamics of the Nelson family as they navigate the trials and tribulations of making homemade ice cream. Set against the backdrop of America's Golden Age of Radio, listeners are treated to a blend of humor, family bonding, and subtle life lessons.

---

1. Introduction: The Jam Debate

[00:13 - 02:23]

The episode opens with Harriet Nelson proudly presenting her homemade preserves to Ozzy Nelson. The exchange sets the stage for the central conflict of the episode—Ozzy's skepticism about homemade products versus store-bought alternatives.

• Harriet Nelson: “With a shining face and nose to match, she holds up a spoon to Aussie and says, taste this, dear.” [00:13]

• Ozzy Nelson (early skepticism): “Well, how do you like that cherry flavor? It’s apricot.” [01:07]

Harriet defends her apricot jam, while Ozzy subtly criticizes the effort involved in making homemade jam.

• Ozzy Nelson: “I don’t know why you go to all the trouble to make jam when you can buy jam. That’s much better. Well, it’s much easier.” [01:56]

This conversation highlights Ozzy's preference for convenience over homemade quality, setting up the thematic exploration of homemade versus commercial products.

---

2. The Ice Cream Conundrum

[02:24 - 07:18]

The plot thickens when Ricky Nelson informs the family that they lack sufficient ice cream for the kids visiting that afternoon.

• Ricky Nelson: “A bunch of kids are coming over this afternoon. Have we got enough ice cream for them?” [02:45]

Harriet’s concern leads Ozzy to purchase a variety of ice cream flavors from the local ice cream man, Joe. However, Ozzy's dissatisfaction with store-bought ice cream becomes apparent.

• Ozzy Nelson: “Nothing tastes like homemade ice cream. Full of hunks of ice, synthetic flavors, cheap gelatin, skim milk and pieces of cardboard.” [04:13]

This critical view drives Ozzy to undertake the challenge of making his own ice cream, believing it will surpass commercial offerings.

---

3. The Quest for Homemade Perfection

[07:18 - 16:08]

Ozzy enlists his son Ricky and Joe the ice cream man to assist in creating homemade ice cream using an old freezer. The family's collaborative effort is marked by comedic mishaps and differing opinions on the process.

• Ozzy Nelson: “We’ve got to take a chance one way or the other. And I’m sure it goes on the inside.” [10:41]

Despite initial challenges, the family perseveres, showcasing the humorous side of kitchen experiments gone awry.

• Joe: “I refer you to your statement of a moment ago. If you want a thing done right, do it yourself.” [12:22]

Their attempts culminate in a batch of homemade ice cream, which unfortunately does not meet Ozzy’s expectations.

---

4. Taste Test and Realizations

[16:08 - 24:14]

After several comedic attempts, the family finally tastes the homemade ice cream, which receives mixed reviews.

• Harriet Nelson: “Has kind of an unhealthy pallor, hasn’t it?” [15:21]
• Ricky Nelson: “I can’t give you this stuff to my friends.” [16:16]

The failure of Ozzy’s homemade ice cream leads to a candid discussion about preferences and family collaboration.

---

5. The Great Ice Cream Swap

[24:14 - 25:31]

In a twist of events, Harriet reveals that she and the boys have secretly swapped Ozzy’s homemade ice cream with the store-bought variety, ensuring the children enjoy the treat without Ozzy’s interference.

• Harriet Nelson: “We switched.” [23:32]
• Ozzy Nelson: “Now, how can I be? I tasted myself and it was delicious.” [23:29]

This act underscores the theme of family unity and the balance between individual preferences and collective happiness.

---

6. Resolution and Apology

[25:31 - 26:26]

Ozzy, recognizing his mistakes, approaches Joe to apologize for his earlier criticism. However, Joe reveals that he has decided to leave the ice cream business in favor of the frozen vegetable sector, unable to continue under the strain of Ozzy’s disapproval.

• Ozzy Nelson: “Mr. Nelson, I want to apologize to you for what I said about your ice cream. I’m really very sorry.” [25:57]
• Joe: “If you don’t mind, I’m going to the frozen vegetable business. Bye, Mr. Nelson.” [26:23]

This conclusion emphasizes themes of humility, the importance of honest feedback, and the consequences of unwavering stubbornness.

---

7. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ozzy Nelson on Homemade vs. Store Ice Cream:

  • “Nothing tastes like homemade ice cream. Full of hunks of ice, synthetic flavors, cheap gelatin, skim milk and pieces of cardboard.” [04:13]

• Joe’s Resignation:

  • “Mr. Nelson, I can’t go on living a lie. As soon as I get rid of all the junk in the truck, I’m going to the frozen vegetable business. Bye, Mr. Nelson.” [26:23]

• Harriet’s Strategic Move:

  • “The boys and I tasted your ice cream while you were napping. And, well, you remember what you said about my jam? Well, that goes double for your homemade ice cream.” [23:26]

• Ozzy’s Realization:

  • “If you want a thing done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” [12:22]

---

8. Key Themes and Insights

• Homemade vs. Commercial Products: The episode humorously explores the tension between the perceived quality of homemade items versus the convenience of store-bought alternatives. Ozzy’s initial disdain for homemade products highlights a common generational and personal preference conflict.

• Family Dynamics and Collaboration: The Nelson family's collective efforts in making ice cream, despite mishaps, showcase the importance of teamwork and understanding within a family unit.

• Humility and Apology: Ozzy’s journey from skepticism to apology underscores the value of humility and recognizing one’s own faults, especially within familial relationships.

• Innovation and Adaptability: Harriet’s clever solution to swap the ice creams demonstrates resourcefulness and the ability to adapt to unforeseen challenges for the betterment of the family.

---

9. Conclusion

"Ozzie and Harriet 53-10-30 (369) Homemade Ice Cream" is a delightful episode that blends humor with heartfelt moments, illustrating the complexities of family life and the pursuit of perfection. Through the lens of making homemade ice cream, the episode offers timeless lessons on collaboration, humility, and the enduring bonds that hold a family together.

For those who haven’t listened to the episode, this summary encapsulates the essence of the story, highlighting the humorous attempts at homemade endeavors and the eventual harmonious resolution that reinforces the importance of family unity and mutual respect.

Transcript

[Narrator]

The solid silver with beauty that lives forever is international sterling. From Hollywood International silver company, creators of international sterling presents the adventures of Ozzy and Harriet, starring America's favorite young couple, Ozzy Nelson and Harriet Hill. As we look in on the Nelson's, Harriet's been working all morning making preserves. And now with shining face and nose to match, she holds up a spoon to Aussie and says, taste this, dear.

[Harriet Nelson]

And tell me how you like it.

[Joe]

Oh, oh, oh, of course.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, how do you like that cherry flavor?

[Ozzy Nelson]

It's wonderful.

[Harriet Nelson]

It's apricot.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, well, it had a slight cherry overtone.

[Harriet Nelson]

What is a slight cherry overtone?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, it's when apricots taste like cherries.

[Harriet Nelson]

Do you like it or don't you? Well, frankly, yeah. That's all I wanted to.

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no, no, it's delicious. It's. We just. It's. Well, you know what I mean.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, I can read between the uhs.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I don't know why you go to all the trouble to make jam when you can buy jam. That's much better. Well, it's much easier.

[Harriet Nelson]

My mother gave me this recipe.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, I like the recipe. It's just that the jam is no good. Don't get me wrong. What I meant was that the jam is. But the recipe is fine. No, no, wait a minute. I didn't say that.

[Harriet Nelson]

And who did?

[Ozzy Nelson]

What? I'm. I. I didn't really. Well, anyway, why knock yourself out? I mean, it's silly to make homemade jam. You can go down the store.

[Harriet Nelson]

In other words, you hate my jam.

[Joe]

No.

[Ricky Nelson]

Hi, Iman. Hi, Apa.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, I'm glad to see you, son.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ricky, would you taste this jam for me?

[Ricky Nelson]

With pleasure.

[Harriet Nelson]

That's my boy. Here. How do? Well, like father, like son.

[Ricky Nelson]

Mom, a bunch of kids are coming over this afternoon. Have we got enough ice cream for them?

[Harriet Nelson]

I don't know. Look in the refrigerator.

[Ricky Nelson]

Sorry. Mother Hubbard, your cupboard is bare. Hey, there's the ice cream man.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Here, I'll get you something, Rick.

[Ricky Nelson]

Okay. Get a pint of peppermint, a quarter nut royal, a half a pint of pistach, a quarter chocolate chip, a half pint of peach custard and a pint of cherry delight.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I've got a better idea. I'll get a gallon of tutti frutti. You can separate it yourself. Hello, Mr. Nelson.

[Joe]

Joe.

[Ozzy Nelson]

How many flavors you got?

[Joe]

24. But you take chocolate, vanilla or strawberries.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, I guess those are the old stuff. Standbys. Well, I'll take a half a gallon of vanilla and a Half a gallon of chocolate. Okay.

[Joe]

This is real homemade stuff.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Homemade? Oh, come now, Joe. This isn't homemade.

[Joe]

Sure it is. Made by our chief chemist, Charlie Holmes.

[Ozzy Nelson]

That's pretty good.

[Joe]

Usually gets a laugh. Oh, not that it doesn't taste like it's homemade.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Now, now, wait a minute, Joe. I don't want to knock your product, but nothing tastes like homemade ice cream.

[Joe]

Ours does.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Joe, you can't comp the creamy, rich, smooth taste of homemade ice cream with this stuff you're selling. Full of hunks of ice, synthetic flavors, cheap gelatin, skim milk and pieces of cardboard.

[Joe]

That's what you think of our ice cream. Why do you buy it?

[Ozzy Nelson]

You're always here waiting for me. Yes. I. I don't go into your house and drag you. I just say that yours isn't as good as homemade ice cream. Well, then why don't you make your own ice cream? Well, I go. It'd be easy. The desk of me is chocolate. And the vanilla.

[Joe]

I should say not.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I'm not selling you anything you don't like.

[Joe]

If you're not a satisfied customer, you're not a customer.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Goodbye, Mr. Nelson. Happy cranking. Come back in a couple of hours and I'll show you I can make better ice cream.

[Ricky Nelson]

Did you get the ice cream, Pop?

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, I. I didn't buy it. I. I changed my mind.

[Ricky Nelson]

If you needed some money, I could have loaned.

[David Nelson]

Don't do it, Pop. He charges too much interest. 28% a day.

[Ozzy Nelson]

That's illegal.

[Ricky Nelson]

It doesn't matter. I'm a minor. What are we gonna do for ice cream? I got a whole bunch of kids coming over here.

[Harriet Nelson]

What happened to the ice cream?

[David Nelson]

Well, Pop didn't get it.

[Ozzy Nelson]

That's right. While I was out talking to the ice cream man, I got a wonderful idea.

[Ricky Nelson]

Are you gonna treat all the kids to the movie?

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, I'm gonna make real homemade ice cream for you. We've got that old ice cream freezer in the garage, Rick, where I'm gonna.

[Ricky Nelson]

Call my friends and tell them not to come over.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Wait a second. Have any of you ever tasted any homemade ice cream?

[David Nelson]

No, but we've tasted homemade jam.

[Harriet Nelson]

I'd be getting to get a persecution complex. Tell me one thing. How is it you can be against my making jam at home, but it's all right for you to make ice cream?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, you can buy good jam at the store, but you can't buy homemade ice cream? You have a cookbook, candy.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, please, Pop.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Ricky, this will make you the most popular kid around here.

[David Nelson]

Didn't he just learn to play the piano or something?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Believe me, your friends will just love this.

[Harriet Nelson]

Rick, here's a cookbook.

[Joe]

See here?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Icebox, cake, icing, ice cream. Oh, here we are. Oh, look at all the different kinds. What flavor would you like?

[Ricky Nelson]

Like Pepto Bismol.

[Ozzy Nelson]

S. Let's see, we need some rock salt.

[David Nelson]

First of all, we got some in the basement we used on the sidewalk that time it got icy. I'll get it for you.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, let's say we need cream.

[Ricky Nelson]

I'll get it for you.

[Ozzy Nelson]

And I'll get the freezer. Well, Harry, this is begotten a family project.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, it is. I'll get the mop.

[Joe]

Hey, what are you looking for? Huh?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, hi, attorney. Looking for our old ice cream freezer.

[Joe]

Oh, gonna make ice cream, huh? Yeah. I wondered why Harriet was putting newspapers down on the kitchen floor.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, she's old. A little nervous when I'm in the kitchen.

[Joe]

Yeah, I remember she put newspapers down that time you showed her how to bake a cake. Yeah, should have put them on the ceiling too. How come you're making ice cream?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, I had a little argument with Joe. You know, the. The ice cream man wouldn't drop his.

[Joe]

Price for you, huh?

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no. Would you believe he had the nerve to tell me his stuff was better than homemade ice cream?

[Joe]

Heavens to Betsy. How dare he.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Cut it out. I doubt if he's ever tasted the real stuff. You had it when you were a kid, didn't you?

[Narrator]

Oh, sure.

[Joe]

We used to make some Braxley every Sunday.

[Ozzy Nelson]

There's nothing like it, was there, Thorny way stuff used to melt in your mouth.

[Joe]

Yeah. Well, off to the kitchen, us old friends. Do you need any help from.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Glad to have you aboard, Thorny.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, the kitchen's all ready for you, chef. Baloney.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Harry, there's no reason. Hey, how did you get those newspapers on the ceiling?

[Harriet Nelson]

Scotch paper. I see you've got a partner for your crime.

[Joe]

Yes siree. When old Oz started talking about making old fashioned ice cream, that was enough for me.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, there's the cookbook and all the things you need. If you want me, you'll find me cringing in the cellar.

[Joe]

Okay, boy, let's get to work. What's the first thing we do?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, let me see what it says here. 3 cups of cream. Use cream that is 24 hours old. Makes a finer grain than fresh cream.

[Joe]

Okay, what's the next step?

[Ozzy Nelson]

We've got to add sugar, salt, more cream.

[Joe]

Looks okay to me. But you sure spilled a lot on the Drain board.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, mop it up with it, honey.

[Joe]

I don't know what you do without me.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I'll get the freezer. No, no, no. Don't ring the dish rag out into the ice cream, Thorny.

[Joe]

I just didn't want to waste all this good stuff.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Ah. Now we pour it into the freezer and put the ice in.

[Joe]

Now, hold it. Does the ice cream go into the can on the inside and the ice on the outside, or does the ice cream go on the outside and the ice on the inside?

[Ozzy Nelson]

That's a pretty good question. Figure this out logically.

[Joe]

Well, now, wait a minute. The ice must go in the can on the inside. Otherwise it'd melt too fast. Huh?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Yes, I. No, I remember distinctly. I always licked out the inside can, never the outside.

[Joe]

I'll tell you what. Let's play it safe, huh? Pour half on the inside and half on the outside.

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no, no, no. We've got to take a chance one way or the other. And I'm sure it goes on the inside.

[Joe]

Okay, you're the brain. Pour it in. It looks a little lumpy.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, I left the spoon in. Can you fish it out there?

[Joe]

I'll try. I got it. Where's the towel?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Right in back of you. There we are.

[Joe]

Let me just see how it tastes.

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no, no. We don't taste it until it's ready.

[Joe]

Now what?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Now we put the lid on and you pour the ice in. Hey, look out.

[Joe]

What's the matter?

[Ozzy Nelson]

You're getting it all over the floor. Here, I'll do it. Honestly, Thorny, you're a vivid example of the old adage. If you want a thing done right, you've got to do it yourself.

[Joe]

Oh, now, really.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Hand me the rock salt, would you, please?

[Joe]

Now what?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Now all we have to do is crank it.

[Joe]

All we have to do is crank it.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, sure. You're helping me, Oz.

[Joe]

I refer you to your statement of a moment ago. If you want a thing done right, do it yourself.

[Narrator]

But now, as we rejoin the mountains, the ice cream freezer is in full operation on the back porch. Hear that rusty creaking? Those are Ozzy's muscles. The ice cream freezer is well oiled.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Barney. Barney. David. David.

[Ricky Nelson]

Hi, Pop. How's the ice cream come along?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, fine, fine, Ricky.

[Ricky Nelson]

Well, sit on Pop.

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no, no, no. Have you ever figured out, son, there's an arc to turning the handle on an ice cream freezer?

[Ricky Nelson]

Really?

[Joe]

Oh.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, yes. You see, you can't turn it too fast. You can't turn it too slow. I Don't know whether you could do it or not. However, I. I might let you try it.

[Ricky Nelson]

Hey, Poppy. Just reminded me of something.

[Ozzy Nelson]

What's that?

[Ricky Nelson]

I gotta take my copy of Tom Sawyer back to the library.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh.

[Joe]

Oh.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I'll see you later, Hook. Lor.

[Harriet Nelson]

David, just put that tray of jars on the shelf. The jam will cool better out there on the back porch.

[David Nelson]

Okay, Mom.

[Joe]

Oh, careful.

[Harriet Nelson]

Don't kick over the ice cream freezer.

[Ricky Nelson]

It.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Where's Pop?

[Harriet Nelson]

Look out by our elm tree See that big lumpy root on the ground?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Harriet Nelson]

That's your father. Yep. He's all cranked out.

[David Nelson]

Hey, Mom, I wonder how the ice cream is.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah, I've been wondering that, too. Why don't we try it?

[David Nelson]

I'll get the lid off.

[Ricky Nelson]

Mmm.

[Harriet Nelson]

Has kind of an unhealthy pallor, hasn't it?

[David Nelson]

I'm like old shaving cream.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I'll try.

[David Nelson]

Poor beauty.

[Harriet Nelson]

I must admit, I admire your courage. Here's a spoon.

[David Nelson]

Well, here you go.

[Ozzy Nelson]

How is it? You taste it.

[Harriet Nelson]

Hmm. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

[David Nelson]

What flavor is it supposed to be?

[Harriet Nelson]

My guess is vanilla.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Are you sure?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, there's the cap of the vanilla bottle floating between those two lumps. Here, let's give it another try.

[David Nelson]

Wait a minute, Mom. Here comes a boy with an unbiased opinion.

[Ozzy Nelson]

He'll eat anything.

[Ricky Nelson]

How's the ice cream?

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh. Here, Ricky, taste it.

[Ricky Nelson]

Give me a spoon.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, it ain't great. It isn't great.

[Ricky Nelson]

You ain't kidding. I can't give you this stuff to my friends.

[David Nelson]

Yeah, it is pretty bad, even for those monsters.

[Ricky Nelson]

Look who's talking. Half of your friends are girls.

[Harriet Nelson]

All right, that's enough, fellas. What are we going to do about the ice cream?

[Ricky Nelson]

We'll have to go down the market and buy some.

[Harriet Nelson]

Papa isn't going to like this.

[Ricky Nelson]

Not if he tastes it.

[Harriet Nelson]

I mean, he won't like us to buy store ice cream after he's got all the trouble to make this.

[Ricky Nelson]

Yeah, he did put in a lot of hard work.

[David Nelson]

Mom, how would it be if we bought the ice cream, dump this stuff out and put the good stuff in?

[Ricky Nelson]

Yeah. Pop wouldn't know the difference, and everybody'd be happy, especially me.

[Harriet Nelson]

That's not exactly fair. Let's give it another try, see if it tastes any better. Here, take another taste, Ricky David.

[David Nelson]

Now you try, Mom.

[Harriet Nelson]

David, back out your car.

[David Nelson]

Here it is, Mom. A gallon of vanilla.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, fine.

[Ricky Nelson]

Oh, look who just came in.

[Joe]

Ah.

[Harriet Nelson]

You boys take the ice cream and head up the bakery aisle. Crept through the cans of soups and I'll head him off in front of the frozen vegetables.

[Ricky Nelson]

I hope. Vanilla.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, I beg your.

[Joe]

Harriet.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, for goodness sake. Fancy meeting you here.

[Ozzy Nelson]

What are you doing here?

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, this is a market and I'm marketing. What are you doing here?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, I woke up and found you were gone and I decided to take a little walk. So I got in the car and here I am.

[Harriet Nelson]

What are you gonna buy?

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, what are you gonna buy?

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh. Well, it's been nice seeing you, Darryl.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Another way of. Harriet. Sometimes I just don't understand you.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, I hope not. I'll see you at home.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, I hope not. That's a silly answer.

[David Nelson]

It's all done, Mom. I put the stuff we bought in the ice cream freezer.

[Harriet Nelson]

What did you do with your father's ice cream?

[Ricky Nelson]

We poured it into a big bowl and put it in the refrigerator.

[Harriet Nelson]

Oh, no, your father's sure to find it there. Use the gallon container the store ice cream was in and I'll get rid of it tomorrow.

[Joe]

Hi, O. Old pal, old friend, old buddy.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Hello, old rat.

[Joe]

What's the matter?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Soon as the hard work starts, you disappear.

[Joe]

I'm sorry, Oz. I had to go home. I was expecting a long distance call from home. I didn't know. That's why I had to go home.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Pretty clumsy excuse.

[Joe]

Yeah. Well, how's it taste, Oz? Do you want my expert opinion?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Absolutely not. You ducked out the crucial moment. You're not entitled to any.

[Joe]

Will you mind if I watch?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, okay, but stand back. Delicious. Just like mother used to make.

[Joe]

Doesn't look like homemade ice cream to me.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, you just tasted.

[Joe]

Hey, no, no, no. I was derelict in my duty and I'm not entitled to any.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Don't. Go ahead and taste it.

[Joe]

Okay, but remember, you forced me.

[Ozzy Nelson]

How is it?

[Harriet Nelson]

How is it?

[Joe]

It's all right.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, take some more. Here, Here's a bigger spoon.

[Joe]

Well, thanks. Yes, sir, that's mighty.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Mighty what?

[Joe]

You mind if I take another taste?

[Ozzy Nelson]

No, no, no, no, no. Here's a couple of bowls. Let's give this. Help yourself to another bowl, Forney.

[Joe]

No, no, thanks, Oz, but I got to hand it to you, it's terrific.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, I got to agree with you. Let's put the lid back on. Hey, what happened to all the ice cream?

[Joe]

I guess we tasted it all away.

[Ozzy Nelson]

I can't believe it. Gee, I made this for the kids.

[Joe]

Well, as we had to find out if it was all right for them to eat.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Yes, but we ate it all.

[Joe]

And I think it's all right for them to eat.

[Ozzy Nelson]

See, after I gave them this big build up about homemade ice cream. Oh, I feel awful.

[Joe]

Maybe you can whip up another batch.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Haven't time. I got it.

[Joe]

Use the ice cream that Harriet bought.

[Ozzy Nelson]

What ice cream?

[Joe]

I saw her take a gallon container of it into the house a little while ago.

[Harriet Nelson]

Really?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Let me look. Oh, yes, there it is. So that's what she was doing at the store. She had no confidence in me.

[Joe]

Well, in past performance, I can't blame her. But why not take advantage of her foresight and dump that store stuff in the ice cream freezer?

[Ozzy Nelson]

It'll never taste the same.

[Joe]

Kids won't know the difference. Tell them it's homemade, meal lover.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Gee, I hate to practice deception.

[Joe]

Oh, man, you're well past the practice stage.

[Harriet Nelson]

Sure sounds like Ricky's friends are having a good, good time in there.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Yeah. I noticed the ice cream freezer is pretty well cleaned out.

[Harriet Nelson]

The boys really seem to love it.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Did you taste my ice cream?

[Harriet Nelson]

Yes, dear.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Did you notice its distinctive taste?

[Harriet Nelson]

I sure did.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, how? I'm going to tell you a little secret. That ice cream in the freezer isn't mine.

[Harriet Nelson]

I know, dear.

[Joe]

Who told you?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Thorny.

[Harriet Nelson]

No, I'm gonna tell you a little secret. The boys and I tasted your ice cream while you were napping. And, well, you remember what you said about my jam?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Yes.

[Harriet Nelson]

Well, that goes double for your homemade ice cream.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Now, how can I be? I tasted myself and it was delicious.

[Harriet Nelson]

Of course, that was the ice cream I bought at the market. We switched.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, now, you.

[Ricky Nelson]

You mean.

[Harriet Nelson]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Up.

[Ozzy Nelson]

What did you do with the ice cream I made?

[Harriet Nelson]

Put it back in the store container and stuck it in the refrigerator.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Harry, I empty that container back into the freezer.

[Harriet Nelson]

You mean the boys are eating your homemade ice cream now?

[Ricky Nelson]

Yeah, we have some more ice cream.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, why, sure, son. Help yourself. Here you are.

[Ricky Nelson]

Oh, thanks. I got some more, fella.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, so my ice cream wasn't any good, huh?

[Harriet Nelson]

Huh?

[Ozzy Nelson]

The kids like it. They're coming back for seconds. Proof of the pudding is in the eating, isn't it?

[Harriet Nelson]

Maybe they think it's pudding.

[Ozzy Nelson]

They know it's ice cream. My homemade ice cream. Oh, hi, son.

[Harriet Nelson]

More ice cream?

[Ricky Nelson]

Oh, thanks. More jam?

[Harriet Nelson]

More jam. You mean my homemade jam?

[Ricky Nelson]

Sure kills the taste of the ice cream.

[Harriet Nelson]

Help yourself, son. Yep, you're right. That's your homemade ice cream out there. And it's my homemade jam that they like. The same jam that you said was so awful.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, not exactly.

[Harriet Nelson]

What do you mean?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Well, while you were at the market. I woke up and tasted some of your homemade jam. And all I could say was. Well, I couldn't say anything. My teeth were stuck together. So I rushed right down to the market.

[Harriet Nelson]

Ozzy, you mean you bought this jam and threw mine out?

[Ozzy Nelson]

Exactly.

[Harriet Nelson]

That's a pretty low down, sneaky trick.

[Ozzy Nelson]

It was all right for you to switch my ice cream.

[Harriet Nelson]

I did it as a matter of public health.

[Ozzy Nelson]

That's why I switched your jam.

[Harriet Nelson]

I'll make a deal with you. If you won't make any more ice cream, I won't make any more jam.

[Ozzy Nelson]

You know something? If I could lift my arm, I'd shake hands with you. What kind of ice cream should I get?

[Harriet Nelson]

I'll get strawberry this time. And you better apologize to Joe.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Oh, Joe. Hey, Joe. Yes, Mr. Nelson? Joe, I want to apologize to you for what I said about your ice cream. I'm really very sorry. If you don't mind, I'd like to buy a quart of vanilla.

[Joe]

I won't sell it to you.

[Ozzy Nelson]

Why not? I apologize, didn't I?

[Joe]

Yeah, but after our argument, I went home and told my wife about it. She made some homemade ice cream. And you're right, it is better than.

[Ozzy Nelson]

The stuff I sell. But, Joe.

[Joe]

Mr. Nelson, I can't go on living a lie. As soon as I get rid of all the junk in the truck, I'm going to the frozen vegetable business. Bye, Mr. Nelson.