
Pat Novak for Hire 47-11-30 (67) Death in Herald Square
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Pat Novak
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Narrator/Announcer
The American Broadcasting Company presents Fat Novak or hire.
Pat Novak
Sure, I'm Pat Novak. Or hire. Down on the San Francisco waterfront, the only use they have for sentiment is to pick your pocket while you're saluting the flag. If you hang out around there as long as I have, you'll even learn to sleep with one hand on that cash box. So I wasn't expecting any cascade of lilies when Joe Adams drove down to Pier 19. He'd phoned that he was in a hurry and would stop by and pick me up in his car. He said he had a quick job for me to do. That was about all I knew about him. I wasn't worried about that either. In my work you get used to odd shaped hires. Including those from guys who look like a bundle of twigs with shoes on and drove like they owned the keys to the city. Novak, this is a soft buck.
Joe Adams
All you gotta do is watch a joint.
Pat Novak
If you keep driving through red lights like that, we will both end up looking at the ceiling in the morgue.
Joe Adams
So I disagree with the traffic department. Look, the joint's in North Beach, Vallejo Street.
Pat Novak
Here's the number. I wrote it down so you can read and write.
Joe Adams
What do you mean?
Pat Novak
What's a pitch? You afraid of mice?
Joe Adams
No.
Pat Novak
And there's no extra cards in this deck. Yeah, so far it makes about as much sense as an eight fingered glove.
Joe Adams
Look, I have to meet a guy in Los Angeles. I have much time to make my plane. I lost my key, so I had to bust in the door to get into my place.
Pat Novak
It was too late to get a.
Joe Adams
Locksmith, so I want you to watch till I get back tomorrow.
Pat Novak
Is that hard? The way you're driving, breathing's hard.
Joe Adams
You scare easy.
Pat Novak
I scare plenty. I like to live.
Joe Adams
Give me a good reason.
Pat Novak
You wouldn't understand. You expect visitors tonight?
Joe Adams
Look, I've got some stuff there I'd like to see around when I get back. And stop trying to read between the lines in this deal, it's all in the Black Titan.
Pat Novak
You can say that about a funeral speech.
Joe Adams
You still worried about the way I drive?
Pat Novak
No. Only why take a plane when this is faster?
Joe Adams
Okay, if you can stop shaking long enough to walk, you can start here.
Pat Novak
On the way back, I'll look for your brains. Grab a cab.
Joe Adams
I'll pick up the check for it. And don't knock. Go right in. I'll be seeing you.
Pat Novak
Probably in four pieces.
Joe Adams
And keep awake, will ya? Some of my neighbors would steal the handle off a blind man's cup.
Pat Novak
Don't worry, I'll keep both eyes open.
Joe Adams
You sound like you're saying one thing and thinking something else.
Pat Novak
About keeping awake.
Joe Adams
Yeah. What's worrying you, Ghost?
Pat Novak
I'm not buying this show the way you're staging it. Something sour in the deal? Yeah, that's all right too. Just as long as you don't get any fancy ideas. Or making me to patsy.
Joe Adams
Boy, you do scare easy.
Pat Novak
Yeah, and I pay off bum debts too.
Joe Adams
Now I'm getting scared.
Pat Novak
So long, sucker. Adam's joy turns out to be one of those walk up flats. A nice wooden place that made you want to run for the firebox every time someone dropped a cigarette ash on the floor. The door was smashed around the lock, all right. And the lights were out. And I found the switch and began to look around. It showed four rooms full of fancy furniture and decorations that made you wonder about Adam's private life. After I found out where the whiskey was located and pried three cushions loose from the easy chair, I looked around for something new. There was a bookcase full of mystery stories and this and that. I passed the mysteries up without studying them. I knew that in every one of them the detective would come out on top. Yet I knew four private eyes who'd started out on just such trails and ended up in urns in Cypress Lawn. There was one book with a purple cover called Reckless moonlight. With pictures. I was on page 30 with pictures when I was interrupted. They were too manly to make me glad. I jumped across the room and switched off the lights and I stood just inside the door and waited. He didn't even knock. He came right in from the back. He looked big enough to be a 10 ton trailer. He was fumbling in his pocket when I broke up the act. I chill up on the pocket pick. And this is a gun in your back.
Inspector Hellman
If you shoot, you'll hit a policeman's badge.
Pat Novak
Think that over his house breaking a sideline. With you, Hellman, I'd know that voice In a nightmare, they blame gangsters for the crime wave. They don't know where to look.
Inspector Hellman
Just stand still, sweetheart, till I get my flash working.
Pat Novak
You want to borrow some burglar tools?
Inspector Hellman
Al settles for some better manners than right now.
Pat Novak
Where I come from, better manners started with knocking. Before you come cramming through a door.
Inspector Hellman
Where you came from, they didn't half doors, just a damp rock. What's the idea of turning out the lights?
Pat Novak
How could I tell who was coming? You don't smell that bad.
Inspector Hellman
Will you tell me why you're here, or do I bounce it out of you?
Pat Novak
Don't worry. You can't parlay it into anything to tell a judge. Guy named Adams lives here. He had to get in in a hurry. Broke the lock, grabbed some things and headed for the airport. He hired me to watch the place till he gets back tomorrow.
Inspector Hellman
He hired a bulldog to watch his steak.
Pat Novak
You don't like this story, huh? What do you want? Mad musician?
Inspector Hellman
You're mad enough without music. Tell me more.
Pat Novak
That's all there is till you started whipping into fancy trimmings.
Inspector Hellman
I can see that in red. Raise it without even string.
Pat Novak
You couldn't raise a rumpus on New Year's Eve.
Joe Adams
No.
Inspector Hellman
And how about the murder of Thomas Van Dyke?
Pat Novak
I must have looked surprised. Hellman was pleased and mysterious. He kept prowling around the house, looking at books up on shelves and behind the furniture, like he expected to find Van Dyke's body there. In the meantime, he filled me in on the case. Van Dyke had been a heavy money operator in show business, sports promotions and such. He ran around with a mink and diamond crowd and did enough charity work on the side to build up a reputation for being a pillar of the community. Everyone was surprised when he turned up dead, including the police. Someone had shot him without leaving any signature on the job. The case had remained unsolved for almost a year. Of course, at the speed Hellman thought, he might have just found out about it. Now he was passing out hints. The thing had grown hot again.
Inspector Hellman
I was checking through the evidence and file and I ran across something you had missed.
Pat Novak
Yeah, grand piano, some stuff in the diary.
Inspector Hellman
Have you been messing around in these books?
Pat Novak
Is that why you're here? To borrow a book?
Inspector Hellman
The diary didn't make any sense at the time of the death. But we turned up a vag the other day who worked with Van Dyke and some of his underground connections.
Pat Novak
Now Van Dyke's the king of the thieves?
Inspector Hellman
Something like that. I put together the stuff. This vag Told us with some of the things in the diary. And it began to look like pay dirt. There's a book missing.
Pat Novak
The Rover Boys. It's over your head, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
Death in Herald Square, it's called. And don't play that innocent routine too.
Pat Novak
Hard or you'll tire it out. You're making about as much sense as a pig in a candy store.
Inspector Hellman
The vag tied this address into one of the clues. How do you like them apples?
Pat Novak
I wouldn't buy them a 10 cents a crate.
Inspector Hellman
Look, bright eyes. I don't like waterfront punks sticking their guns in my back in the dark. I don't like you messing in this racket.
Pat Novak
Are you unhappy? Nervous? Run down?
Inspector Hellman
I want you to keep your nose out of this scamper, Novak. And if you think that's just a lot of breath, try me.
Pat Novak
Why should I leave this house? Just because you're having a nervous decline.
Inspector Hellman
Don'T think I'm buying that routine about some guy hiring you to watch his clothes while they went flying. You got a lead in this murder and you're trying to track it down.
Pat Novak
How much is the reward again?
Inspector Hellman
$10,000. Who said anything about a reward?
Pat Novak
So that's why you're nervous.
Inspector Hellman
Keep out of this, Novak.
Pat Novak
I'm warning you. You're hot for the payoff. I should have known you wouldn't get up off your fat.
Inspector Hellman
I'm giving you one more chance to get out, Novak.
Pat Novak
I was hired to do a job, Hellman. Remember?
Inspector Hellman
All right, wise guy. Come on. Open the closet.
Pat Novak
Your nose is itching. Open it yourself.
Inspector Hellman
Okay, Novak. See any men's clothes in there?
Pat Novak
Not in this year's style.
Jocko Madigan
Snap.
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Pat Novak
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Inspector Hellman
Give it up, Novak. Haven't you remembered by now that Joe Adams was a girl?
Pat Novak
All right, so the guy dealt me a joker. I don't mean I'm trying to crash your party.
Inspector Hellman
The name lives here is named Dodo Sandberg and she ain't lonely. But you're going to be Novakin soon, Dodo Sandberg.
Pat Novak
Maybe she'll come to see you in jail. You're not booking me, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
I told you to stay out of this, Novak.
Pat Novak
You got nothing on me but a nervous twitch because you think I might beat you to that reward.
Inspector Hellman
I got nothing on you except housebreaking. Come on down the station, deal me out. You want to argue?
Pat Novak
Hey. Hey. Who turned out the lights? I'm getting to like that Adams or somebody.
Inspector Hellman
Stand where you are, Novak.
Pat Novak
Sorry, Hellman. I just remembered a date with 10,000 bucks. Hellman chased me, but the way he's built, he didn't have a prayer. He hit the street, doubled around a couple of corners. I couldn't even hear him. When I got back my breath, I walked along for a while and tried to put what I had together. Anyway, I looked at it, one thing was clear. Joe Adams had played me for a country boy in some setup that had a whole lot more in it than showed on the table. I needed to see Adams to square that deal. But something Hellman told me seemed even more important. I liked the idea of trying my chances of cutting into that ten thousand dollar reward for Van Dyke's death. All I had to work on was a dame called Dodo Sandberg in a book called called Death in Herald Square. I looked at the clock and found I still had time to make it to the main library before it closed for the night. So I headed that way when I got in the place at the Civic center. It took the librarians quite a bit of scrambling around to get the book. But they finally turned it up just before closing time. I tucked it under my arm and started out of the place. When the dame fell in step beside me. A nice set of curves. Tucked away in one of those new style dresses. With so many extra built in bumps. It looked like a sack of potatoes.
Dodo Sandberg
Didn't I meet you in Scarsdale?
Pat Novak
The shy type I used to be.
Dodo Sandberg
I outgrew it.
Pat Novak
Keep right on growing somewhere else.
Dodo Sandberg
Do you have to be that way?
Pat Novak
My hobby's books.
Dodo Sandberg
I noticed. That's why I wanted to meet you. I like the books you choose before.
Pat Novak
I pick that up. What's your name?
Dodo Sandberg
Dodo Sandberg. Watch out for the stairs.
Pat Novak
So you're after the book, too?
Dodo Sandberg
I didn't say that.
Pat Novak
I know. It's my fascinating personality.
Dodo Sandberg
A very good friend of mine wrote that book.
Pat Novak
Does my reading it strain your eyes or something?
Dodo Sandberg
That's very interesting. Now let's talk about you.
Pat Novak
You get around, don't you?
Dodo Sandberg
What do you mean by that?
Pat Novak
What became a Joe Adams?
Dodo Sandberg
That's a question for his mother to worry about. Patsy.
Pat Novak
I don't mind helping her.
Dodo Sandberg
Do they have to be mothers?
Pat Novak
You need help like Midas needs go.
Dodo Sandberg
There's help and help. What if a girl's lonely?
Pat Novak
You aren't built for the job. Let's get back to Adams.
Dodo Sandberg
In the book, Adams is no problem. He lives at the Standard Hotel on Polk Street.
Pat Novak
Careless, isn't he, to forget that?
Dodo Sandberg
And how did you suddenly get a yen to read Death in Herald Square?
Pat Novak
A cop told me about it. Why?
Dodo Sandberg
Because there's a better book on the same subject. It's called Death Waits Ahead.
Pat Novak
Am I supposed to turn that into some kind of warning?
Dodo Sandberg
Could be. And here's a sample of what I.
Pat Novak
She worked fast and smooth as a piston. There was some kind of judo, I guess. I was too busy falling to be sure. The stairs didn't help any. By the time I picked myself up, she was out of sight. And so was that book. I sat there a while and thought about women. When I went back to the library desk, I didn't buy me anything. Seems they only had one copy of the book. It wasn't popular, they said. When I seemed anxious about getting a copy. They sent me to a bookstore on 3rd street which stayed open late. By the time I got there, there was nobody in the place. Except one of the hired help looking bored by the cash Register. I asked him for the book and he quit looking bored right away. Began to look nervous. He said he didn't have the book, he'd never heard of it. And they were closing anyway. Whatever the guy was, he didn't have a card in the Actors Union. I guess Crowley realized that as soon as I did. When I said I'd look around. Anyway. A curtain twitched in the back of the place. And he came out a big guy with a nasty disposition.
Pete Crowley
You could do better than that.
Pat Novak
Did someone send you to tell me how to live?
Pete Crowley
You're looking for death in Herald Square.
Pat Novak
The words all over town.
Pete Crowley
You ought to be out eating something. Instead of nosing around where you're not wanted. Ever heard of the prisoner eating a hearty breakfast?
Pat Novak
That's a warning. You're third in line. Yeah?
Pete Crowley
Who else is interested?
Pat Novak
A cop and a dame. You ought to team up and work it into three part harmony.
Pete Crowley
When they warned you, they were just trying to act like bad news. When I warn you, it's certified.
Pat Novak
You don't look 8ft tall. Put some meat on your skeleton.
Pete Crowley
My name is Pete Crowley. Did you ever hear of me?
Pat Novak
I must read the wrong funny papers.
Pete Crowley
You got connections around the city.
Pat Novak
You can say that about a sewer pipe. Something's making you twitch. Trotted out where I could see it.
Pete Crowley
Dodo Sandberg tells me you got your nose up in the air over the Van Dyke killing.
Pat Novak
Does that worry you?
Pete Crowley
I'm hiding right now in Mexico.
Pat Novak
What's the Death's head routine for?
Pete Crowley
Before you run to the cups of the finger, listen carefully. I picked up Van Dyck's rackets when he dropped them. They pay off very nicely. I like the way they're moving along. I don't want you or any of the eager beavers from the Kearney street station to nose over the apple cot.
Pat Novak
I came here for a book. You don't look like it.
Pete Crowley
Also, I don't like anybody bothering Dodo. And that includes sailor salesmen and smart guys looking for a new home.
Pat Novak
She doesn't want anybody ringing her bell. Tell her to take the signs out of her windows.
Pete Crowley
You look like a fairly bright boy. Take a tip. Fade out of this scramble while you're still in Mobile.
Pat Novak
And if I don't?
Pete Crowley
Stick around and I'll show you my muscles.
Pat Novak
I'd rather look at dodos.
Pete Crowley
Two of my muscles used to be rustlers. Think it over.
Pat Novak
It began to look more and more like trouble. Doubled in spades. I began to get the feeling if I planned to sit in the game anymore. It was time to start counting up the cards and seeing how the mirrors were placed. The best guy for that sort of work was an old alcoholic friend of mine called Jocko Madigan. Jaco was a one time doctor around town who gave up his practice when he learned that alcohol made him feel better even when he wasn't sick. Finding him was like taking a phone survey of the downtown bars. I pitched a strike at a fifth one I tried. At first he didn't like the idea of moving. But when I told him I was phoned from a Third street bar, he said he'd hop a cab. He came in while I was working on my second drink.
Jocko Madigan
Patsy, my boy, I'm glad to see you.
Pat Novak
Both of you.
Jocko Madigan
Or is that only two heads I could use to? That's an involved way of saying you're in trouble. Goodbye.
Pat Novak
Listen, Jocko, I got my foot in the door of a deal. It might pay off big.
Jocko Madigan
All you've got your foot in is a dirty shoe, Patsy. And with your usual luck you'll probably end up with Hellman stepping on it.
Pat Novak
He stepped on it already.
Jocko Madigan
Oh, he did.
Pat Novak
Good.
Jocko Madigan
How is the old walrus anyway?
Pat Novak
That's what I've been trying to tell you. I bounced into him tonight and he was hot on the trail of the men who knocked off Van Dyke a year ago.
Jocko Madigan
They're safe. Hellman couldn't put his finger on a fire eater in the darkened room.
Pat Novak
What do you know about a book called Death in Herald Square?
Jocko Madigan
What do you know about the home life of the Macrocephalus peonybombics? As I was saying before thirst choked me off, some people collect seashells, some raise dogs, some go after gold.
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Joe Adams
Fantastic.
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Jocko Madigan
But not Patsy. Oh, no. Patsy's different. Patsy wants to collect murders.
Pat Novak
Did you ever hear of the book? What book?
Jocko Madigan
You're talking too fast.
Pat Novak
Death and Herald Square. Van Dyke's murder ties into it somehow.
Jocko Madigan
Talk sense, Patsy. Things are blurred enough without you jabbering nonsense.
Pat Novak
Nonsense? I'm not on the right trail. Why have I been warned off three times already, including a threat from Pete Crowley?
Jocko Madigan
Are you asking me?
Pat Novak
Look, Jocko, there's 10,000 bucks reward for the murderer.
Jocko Madigan
Well, why didn't you tell me that 10 minutes ago? And avoid all this verbiage?
Pat Novak
You'd get your nose out of that whiskey bottle.
Jocko Madigan
Skip the greeting, son. Let's get on to the money matters. What do you want me to do?
Pat Novak
It's an old book. You know where to find it. I tried the library, but a dame called Dodo grabbed the dice.
Jocko Madigan
I know just how to get it. A friend of mine in the Panhandle has a small bookstore and home distillery.
Pat Novak
Listen, there's a Joe Adams fits in there somewhere. See what you can get on him, will you? Do go on.
Jocko Madigan
You fascinate me.
Pat Novak
Two other people were nervous about me since the thing broke. One is Crowley and the other is Dodo Sandberg. It seems to be tied to Crowley somehow. Can you get a check on them for me?
Jocko Madigan
For $10,000 I can get a count on the fillings in their teeth. Is this Dodo Sandberg pretty?
Pat Novak
Why?
Jocko Madigan
I want to know where you'll be in case I have to phone. So long, lover.
Pat Novak
I paid for Jocko's drinks and went out to the Standard Hotel. The room clerk gave me Joe Adam's number. He looks a little worried when he told me. But that could have been about a new boss or an old girlfriend. It could have, but it wasn't. Adam's room was on the fourth floor and when I reached there in the elevator, Hellman almost ran over me trying to get in the cage. He was a nice salmon pink and panting like a bloodhound on a deer trail. He had a gun in one fat hand. A mouthful of verbs and adjectives every.
Inspector Hellman
Time I turn a corner.
Pat Novak
Were you expecting Princess Elizabeth? Where did he go? You better shift to the overdrive. You're racing your motor.
Inspector Hellman
Where's Adam Snowbeck.
Pat Novak
Don't start testing your muscles on me, Hellman. You must think I'm your wife.
Inspector Hellman
This ain't Playland, Novak. Adams just left his room. Where is he?
Pat Novak
I'm not in the mood for company, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
You're gonna talk. You're gonna talk plenty.
Pat Novak
What's all the pushing around about?
Inspector Hellman
Don't pretend you're a country boy. You don't know what's going on.
Pat Novak
Back up a bit and fill me in.
Inspector Hellman
Adams told me he hired you to knock me off.
Pat Novak
Yeah. And you believed it? I know you don't work that way.
Inspector Hellman
But I wouldn't put it beyond you to pretend to go along with the proposition. As long as you could milk a few dollars out of Adams with your head.
Pat Novak
It's a wonder you don't believe it. That I did it with my head.
Inspector Hellman
I remember that you were written in a darkened apartment with a gun when I came in. That you ran out on me and that you show up now just when Joe Adams is escaping.
Pat Novak
You put two and two together and get 22.
Inspector Hellman
You're just a sort of a lousy, conniving.
Pat Novak
What about Adams? Is he that turkey that knocked off Van Dyke?
Inspector Hellman
He got away when I started to.
Pat Novak
Dial the phone to call the wagon to take.
Inspector Hellman
I thought I told you to forget the Van Dyke murder.
Pat Novak
You're full of. Tell Hellman is Adams a one.
Inspector Hellman
Pin this into your hat, Norvak. I'm closing in on the one who did it. And I don't need you to help.
Pat Novak
With a net like you closed in on Adams.
Inspector Hellman
Just let me stumble over you once more before I close this up. And I'll bet my badge I'll put you where you'll stand still.
Pat Novak
And it could be Adams.
Inspector Hellman
You hear what I said?
Pat Novak
Yeah, I heard. Prices are going down, too, but I haven't noticed it.
Inspector Hellman
I can fix that. You're going to a place where the feed is in the house.
Pat Novak
Don't give me any more of that jail talk, Hellman. Till you're ready to come in with some papers.
Inspector Hellman
All I need to put you in a cage is a key.
Pat Novak
Let's go.
Inspector Hellman
I'll get him. You stay where you are, Novak.
Pat Novak
He must think I'm a Boy Scout. That was screwy. That was twice Hellman had tried to jail me and twice someone had fixed a breakaway. Any way you looked at that, it still meant somebody wanted me in circulation for some reason. Unless you believed in good fairies. A reason wouldn't be nice. If I guessed hard, I could make it Relate somehow to the Van Dyke killing. All I had for a trail on that was three people being nervous in a hard to get mystery book. From the way Adam saved me from Hellman, he looked like a good man to know more about. And fast. I knew that after the gun work in the hotel, I'd have to find him somewhere else. The only other lead I had on him was through Dodo. I headed back to her place on Vallejo Street. When she opened the door, she looked like something to fit in a fireplace ad she was wearing a negligee thin enough to roll up and stuff in a pipe.
Dodo Sandberg
You bounce back fast.
Pat Novak
You grow on me.
Dodo Sandberg
What do you want?
Pat Novak
Van Dyke's murderer.
Dodo Sandberg
Who's Van Dyke?
Pat Novak
You're a stranger in town. You never heard of him?
Dodo Sandberg
Come on in. I'm having coffee. Think you can risk drinking some? With arsenic and all?
Pat Novak
I got a strong stomach.
Dodo Sandberg
You're a nice looking guy. You seem healthy. Why do you want to change?
Pat Novak
Your boy Adams likes to play tricks. If I didn't try to pay him off for the hot foot he gave me, he might feel neglected.
Dodo Sandberg
Adams is just a flock of nerves looking for some place to break down. Forget him.
Pat Novak
He tried to put me on a spot where I'd end up killing a cop. The gag laid an egg. Nobody's laughing.
Dodo Sandberg
Cream in your coffee?
Pat Novak
Yeah. I'm still guessing why he did it. Unless he killed Van Dyke.
Dodo Sandberg
Sugar?
Pat Novak
Look, he didn't just pick this house out of the phone book. That put you in line to do some explaining.
Dodo Sandberg
I wouldn't explain how to turn over in bed until I've had a cup of coffee.
Pat Novak
You aren't shaken where it shows.
Dodo Sandberg
Are you telling me how to live?
Pat Novak
I'd have to start with the way you say goodbye on stairways. You didn't learn that trick in a finishing school.
Dodo Sandberg
It didn't finish you. But that's just because you're durable.
Pat Novak
So's my longing for Adams. Where can I find him?
Dodo Sandberg
I told you, Adams don't mean anything. He just acts busy. He's like a fly batting his wings off and ending up in the same place.
Pat Novak
What place? Do I twist it out of you?
Dodo Sandberg
That book. Destin Herald Square. Did you find another copy?
Pat Novak
That's for tomorrow. Tonight it's Adams.
Dodo Sandberg
You're wasting your time chasing Adams. Concentrate on the book.
Pat Novak
I'm spreading my fire. How do I know that book isn't just a come on to get me off the trail?
Dodo Sandberg
In the book there was a millionaire businessman just like Van Dyke. He had connections in the Rackets. Just like Van Dyke. He had a partner just like Van Dyke.
Pat Novak
When do I start panning?
Dodo Sandberg
If you do, it'll be from running from the cops. That's all I'm giving you about the book.
Pat Novak
I'll get the rest when I pick one up tomorrow.
Pete Crowley
You'll have a tough time doing that, Novak. The bookstores are all out of copy.
Pat Novak
You collected them all?
Pete Crowley
Wasn't hard. A car, a telephone, little bustling about.
Pat Novak
Real sharp, Crowley, till you start looking at a map.
Pete Crowley
I have friends across the bay. You might try Sacramento or Los Angeles. But that would take some time, wouldn't it?
Pat Novak
I guess time don't count after tomorrow.
Pete Crowley
Not with what you know, sonny boy. Am I being confusing?
Pat Novak
You make a good try.
Pete Crowley
Well, this won't confuse you. I thought I told you I didn't.
Pat Novak
Like Dodo to be bothered. She needs protection, like J. Edgar Hoover.
Pete Crowley
Didn't I warn you off this keeper?
Dodo Sandberg
Leave him alone, Crowley. He's harmless. Are you all done in the other room?
Pete Crowley
Yeah.
Dodo Sandberg
Come on, Novak. I want to make you a little present. There are the books you've been looking for with only a few pages missing.
Pete Crowley
Yeah. No vacuum. You can have them all, 50 of them.
Dodo Sandberg
They're a little scarred, baby, but they'd still make a nice gift. Send them to your friends for Christmas.
Pete Crowley
If any of them can read.
Pat Novak
You sound like you're ringing down a curtain. That's right.
Pete Crowley
After tonight, you just keep right on guessing.
Pat Novak
About who killed Van Dyke?
Dodo Sandberg
No, baby. About how you're going to prove anything.
Pete Crowley
Mind if we sort of run along now? Soon as the lady gets dressed.
Pat Novak
After they'd gone, I went through the books. Page 187 was torn out of each one of them. I felt like a man in an earthquake. Something told me to run, but I didn't know where to go. Trying to make sense out of what I knew was like trying to put together a drop cake. I wandered around the place till I found a drink. I was just lifting the glass when the telephone rang. Yeah?
Jocko Madigan
Who's ahead, you or the moral squad?
Pat Novak
Everybody's out in front of me, including Dodo and Crowley. Adams is out of sight.
Jocko Madigan
You aren't alone.
Pat Novak
Dodo and Crowley just went out the door. I said goodbye to them and 10,000 bucks.
Jocko Madigan
Was Crowley that big, or. Or was it the girl?
Pat Novak
Crowley isn't worried. Neither is Dodo.
Jocko Madigan
That leaves Adams. Oh, I. I ran down that book of yours.
Pat Novak
Crowley said he bought every copy in town.
Jocko Madigan
Every copy in the bookstores. My friend remembered where he'd sold One, my friend with the still. We borrowed it. Oh, by the way, Van Dyke wrote the book.
Pat Novak
Yeah. What's on page 187?
Jocko Madigan
One. Let's see now. Yes, a description of Van Dyke's double Life Fund. Page 187 is a description of the frontman, the gangster. A bad writing job. No wonder it didn't sell.
Pat Novak
What does it fit?
Jocko Madigan
It doesn't fit anyone, Patsy. He only said that the person had a star tattooed on his chest.
Pat Novak
It's a horse.
Jocko Madigan
Now all you've got to do is to get them in a game of strip poker.
Pat Novak
Get them? They're all gone.
Jocko Madigan
It's still a good idea, especially if Dodo sat in. So long, lover.
Pat Novak
Give me Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
Inspector Hellman speaking.
Pat Novak
I got your killer for you. That's that.
Inspector Hellman
Who's this? Helac.
Pat Novak
Yeah, and don't start bubbling about my nose in your business.
Inspector Hellman
Business is picking up.
Pat Novak
You get Adams.
Inspector Hellman
Adams.
Pat Novak
That's good.
Inspector Hellman
No, Novak, My stool pigeon got it. That fag I was telling you about.
Pat Novak
That leaves you the only one knowing.
Inspector Hellman
$10,000 worth. Don't think I'm coming after you, baby. You can stay there and run so.
Pat Novak
Far I feel healthy.
Inspector Hellman
You think you can drag me off the trail?
Pete Crowley
After you.
Inspector Hellman
By this phony phone call, I know who did it. Oh, no. You don't know back, but I do.
Pat Novak
Yeah, Fill it in.
Inspector Hellman
I just got a phone tip where they're hanging out.
Pat Novak
So they're sending out invitations.
Inspector Hellman
I'll even tell you where they are. Is it the beach? Near a shooting gallery? I've got a siren on my car. Let's see you beat me out there. It's the first gallery below the ballroom.
Pat Novak
Look, Hellman, you're the only guy alive who knows the whole story. What if this is a gag?
Inspector Hellman
Oh, no, Novak. I'm not biting on any of your phony tricks. Save your breath to sob with when you see me pick up that nice fat check.
Pat Novak
I thought a while and suddenly the thing fell together like a winning poker hand. As soon as I saw it, I started running for my car. I don't know how it happened, but I beat him out there. I went along the bridge. Arterials. They're wide and fast. By stealing a flock of red lights and licking the paint off a couple of fenders. I was out through the Presidio and over to Golden Gate park in no time at all. When I hit the beach, it was foggy and empty. There was only one guy in the shooting gallery. When I got up near him, it turned out to Be Crowley. He had a rifle in his hands and he saw me first. Down the barrel of the gun.
Pete Crowley
Don't back up, Novak. Come on in. You were looking for Adams, weren't you?
Pat Novak
I was looking for a lot of things.
Pete Crowley
He's here behind the counter. Look on the floor and.
Pat Novak
Did you kill him? Those bullet holes could be.22s.
Pete Crowley
Yeah, I killed him. Just as I'll kill you if you got any fancy ideas. Like trying to grab a gun.
Pat Novak
What are you saving me for Christmas?
Pete Crowley
Yeah, you dress up the joint. I want Hellman to walk into the trap, just like you did. That's why I'm shooting at the targets like this.
Pat Novak
Bullseye.
Pete Crowley
I'm good.
Pat Novak
You'll have to be good to get away with killing a cop.
Pete Crowley
I hired Adams to do it. But he thought he'd get smart and frame you into the rap.
Pat Novak
That's why he hired you. Did he expect me to kill Hellman that night?
Pete Crowley
That's one of his bright ideas. He's full of bright ideas.
Pat Novak
Or he was.
Pete Crowley
And Mr. Smart, he'd still be breeding. It's really very simple. Hellman got on the trail and he was the only one in town who knew there was a trail. So he had to be killed.
Pat Novak
He ain't dead yet. You're betting a.22 against a police special?
Pete Crowley
I'm live bait. You ought to see the gun Dodo.
Pat Novak
Has in the car. You're gonna dry gulch him, huh?
Pete Crowley
He'll be watching me. And I'll be watching you.
Pat Novak
Let's see you beat that hand. You're forgetting the books.
Pete Crowley
We're forgetting nothing. Books don't mean anything unless you put it together with what Hellman knows. Hellman and his stool pigeon. Stool's dead. And here comes Hellman. Adams thought of everything, including mirrors.
Pat Novak
You thought of everything except a quarter.
Pete Crowley
What for?
Pat Novak
To pay for the reload on that gun. Now, these other guns are only loaded. Hi. You win a cigar, Hellman? You got her.
Inspector Hellman
She'd have had me if you didn't spray the windshield. What was the deal?
Pat Novak
While you were creeping up on Crowley, Dodo was gonna pat you on the back. Crowley.
Inspector Hellman
Where's Adam?
Pat Novak
He quit the game. Crowley helped him.
Inspector Hellman
Come on. Carly's coming too.
Pat Novak
Don't worry. He won't like these odds. What odds? 38 to 22. It wasn't much of a trial. Crowley got the gas chamber. I got 10,000 bucks. The tax collector took half. Jocko got some. And there was even some left for me. Oh, yeah? Dodo was the one who killed Van Dyke. She and Crowley were a sort of a team. She was the contact and the real boss. Hellman never knew how. I was assure. I never told him. I thought it was a man too. Till Jocko told me about the killer being tattooed. After that, it was easy. That negligee of Dodo's only left one thing to wonder about. That was how she kept warm.
Narrator/Announcer
And now an important announcement for your listening pleasure. Next week, Pat Novak for hire and all your KGO programs will come to you by the new power of 50,000 watts. Here's what that means for this program. For instance, Fat Novak will reach a million new listeners all the way from the state of Washington to the Mexican border. The new power and the new transmitter, the finest science can build or money can buy, will make KGO the most powerful station on the west coast. This is ABC, the American Broadcasting Company.
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Episode: Pat Novak for Hire 47-11-30 (67) Death in Herald Square
Date: August 30, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
This episode features a classic installment of the noir radio detective series "Pat Novak for Hire," with an episode entitled "Death in Herald Square." Set amid the gritty waterfront of San Francisco, Novak is hired for a seemingly straightforward job that quickly entangles him in a cold murder case, missing persons, a mysterious book, and a $10,000 reward. The episode showcases sharp banter, double-crosses, and the signature world-weary wit of hard-boiled detective stories from the Golden Age of Radio.
[00:54–03:13]
[04:43–05:51]
[06:39–09:39]
[11:34–13:00]
[14:02–15:46]
[16:27–19:34]
[19:51–21:45]
[22:51–26:16]
[26:41–27:44]
[29:08–31:47]
[31:47–32:58]
The script is saturated with tough, rapid-fire one-liners and cynical observations, characteristic of noir detective fiction. Pat Novak’s narration is laced with dark humor and resigned world-weariness, punctuated by the snappy patter and double entendres in his conversations with Hellman, Dodo, and Crowley.
This Pat Novak episode embodies the best of Golden Age radio mysteries: a twisty plot, colorful characters, and razor-sharp dialogue—leaving listeners guessing until the very last line. Fans of hard-boiled detective stories will relish its blend of atmospheric grit and witty repartee.