
Pat Novak For Hire 49-02-20 (02) Jack Of Clubs
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George Feniman
The American Broadcasting Company brings to its entire network one of radio's most unusual programs. Pat Novak for hire.
Pat Novak
Sure, I'm Pat Novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my shop says, Pat Novak for hire. Down here on the San Francisco waterfront. It's gotta be that way. You gotta rob a few graves if you want cigarette money. You need lots of work and roomy sleeves if you're gonna play a pat hand. Sometimes in a good week you can duck trouble three or four days in a row. And then it creeps up on you like an old charge account. Well, I should have known that when I went to the bank I was up to my knees in mud and didn't even know it was rainy season. It was Tuesday. I went by the bank to drop a hundred bucks. It was about time because they were beginning to play handball with my checks. Must have been about 11:00 when I got to the window.
Bank Teller
Hello, Mr. Novak. Isn't it a grand morning?
Pat Novak
If it's your choice, stay with it.
Bank Teller
Ah, yes.
Pat Novak
Deposit 100 bucks.
Bank Teller
Yes, let me get your card. It's right here, I think. Yes, here we are.
Pat Novak
All right. Hundred bucks. Give me a duplicate, will you?
Bank Teller
Certainly. My, this isn't as big as the last deposit.
Pat Novak
Look, bloomer girl, just mark the slip, huh?
Bank Teller
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Novak. I guess I'm not used to thousand dollar deposits.
Pat Novak
What thousand dollars?
Bank Teller
Your Friday deposit.
Pat Novak
I wasn't in here Friday.
Bank Teller
Oh, you must have been. The card says you put in $1,000 on Friday.
Pat Novak
Give me that card. What did Santa look like?
Bank Teller
What?
Pat Novak
Who put the dough in? What'd the guy look like?
Bank Teller
Oh, didn't you?
Pat Novak
No. Look, we'll double back and try to hang on this time, will you? I wasn't in here Friday. I don't know anything about an extra grand. Now, what did the guy look like?
Bank Teller
I wasn't on duty Friday. Yeah, I'm not even sure about the fellow today.
Pat Novak
What fella?
Bank Teller
There was a man in here to ask about the account.
Pat Novak
Did this good fairy have a name?
Bank Teller
No, just credentials. He was from the FBI.
Pat Novak
I see.
Bank Teller
Is there anything wrong, Mr. Novak?
Pat Novak
No, don't mind that complexion. I forgot my foundation cream. Oh, I should have known right then. A mysterious grand tossed into the till. I didn't wake up to trouble, but I'm a smart boy who'd be the village idiot in a town the size of New York? Well, I left the bank and went up to my apartment. That thousand bucks was already drawing interest when I came in. She Was sitting on the couch drinking my whiskey. She could have all she wanted. A 1949 Panther model, just the right amount of size 12. And a dress that looked like a well tailored fig leaf. When she was through looking you over, you felt like the Sunday supplement.
Connie Riley
Hello, Mr. Novak. I like your apartment.
Pat Novak
That's good.
Connie Riley
The view is wonderful.
Pat Novak
So is yours. What's on your mind?
Connie Riley
How about a drink?
Pat Novak
How poor you talk.
Connie Riley
My name is Connie Riley. Make me one too.
Pat Novak
Sure.
Connie Riley
As you were saying, my name is Connie Riley.
Pat Novak
Yeah, well, I've memorized that much. Go on. Here's your drink.
Connie Riley
Thanks. Let's sit down.
Pat Novak
All right.
Connie Riley
Over next to me. I won't buy it.
Pat Novak
It's too bad. Go on.
Connie Riley
Well, here's to your new bank account, Patsy.
Pat Novak
Look, sis, if you're here just for the field trial's all right. But if you got a bill of goods, trot it out.
Connie Riley
I will. I want that card too, Patsy. I want it ahead of Chris.
Pat Novak
I'll catch up with another drink. In the meantime, you fill in and help me.
Connie Riley
Will ya stop sitting on your hands, Angel? You didn't get that thousand bucks with a sweat of your bra.
Pat Novak
No, not yet.
Connie Riley
Somebody patted your account so you'd be a nice boy. I want you to be a nice boy for me. At the same rates the Monterey Rose docks today. A passenger named Kurt Tooney is carrying a jack of Clubs, and it means a lot to me.
Pat Novak
It doesn't mean a thing to me, except the FBI is on my tail.
Connie Riley
Mr. Novak, you're turning a momentary advantage into a crowbar.
Pat Novak
You take your deal to some other broker.
Connie Riley
You're in business whether you like it or not. Patsy, you're gonna stub your toe either way. Only to me, it'll be more fun.
Pat Novak
How about the FBI?
Connie Riley
You're being frightened by a group of bureaucrats.
Pat Novak
That's what Trotsky thought.
Connie Riley
How much, Patsy? How much for that card?
Pat Novak
When you get it, the price is a grand.
Connie Riley
You're an amusing guy, Patsy.
Pat Novak
Yeah, the grand I can afford to be.
Connie Riley
You don't even know what the Jack of clubs is all about. You never heard of Kirk Toomey till five minutes ago. But you take things in stride as if the whole world belonged to you. Yeah, you're like Adam when he first spotted the Garden of Eden.
Pat Novak
All right, little Eve. It's a thousand bucks. Remember, you're sitting on my doorstep. Now, either go on home or come in the house.
Connie Riley
Good. I'll take the card at your price. Now I can relax. I'll bet you can pour me another drink, Patsy.
Pat Novak
Yeah, sure, in a minute.
Connie Riley
What comes next? Do I get three guesses?
Pat Novak
You got time to take them?
Connie Riley
I won't need them all.
Pat Novak
It's up to you. Come here, angel. You ever hear of the early bird?
Connie Riley
No. Do I make a nice worm?
Pat Novak
You wriggle like one.
Connie Riley
Aren't you raised straight?
Pat Novak
18%, darling.
Connie Riley
That's too bad. I wasn't even gonna scream.
Pat Novak
The next place I live is gonna be a cave. Just a minute, will you?
Inspector Hellman
Hello, Novak.
Pat Novak
Oh, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
Well, well. Am I interrupting anything?
Pat Novak
No, we were just going over an old seed catalog. Ms. Riley, Mrs. Inspector Hellman, San Francisco Police.
Connie Riley
Good morning, Inspector. Don't bother to arrest me now. I'm just leaving.
Inspector Hellman
So soon?
Connie Riley
My sentiments exactly, inspector. Bye. Bye. Patsy. You can get me at the Concord on Push Street. Be around.
Pat Novak
Sure.
Inspector Hellman
Well, you're slipping, Novak. No rain check.
Pat Novak
All right, funny man. What's your problem?
Inspector Hellman
You ever see this guy before?
Pat Novak
Let me see. He's an awful looking thug.
Inspector Hellman
Yeah?
Pat Novak
Who is he, your father?
Inspector Hellman
Guy by the name of Max Coleman. The FBI trailed him to your bank Friday. They think he gave you a thousand bucks.
Pat Novak
Yeah?
Inspector Hellman
Where'd you get the thousand bucks, Novak?
Pat Novak
What do you care, Hellman? Maybe a relative. Maybe a maiden aunt.
Inspector Hellman
Nobody's related to you, Novak. You're in a jam, lover, and I'm here to push you farther in. Max Coleman buys his groceries with foreign dough.
Pat Novak
So what are you weeping about? Arrest the guy if you don't like him.
Inspector Hellman
There's government microfilm coming in on the Monterey Rose. That thousand bucks makes you a contact man for Coleman.
Pat Novak
Send the FBI over, then. Where do you fit in? Waiting for somebody to drop some loose change?
Inspector Hellman
You're my project, Novak. When they ask us for help, I stuff the ballot box to get you.
Pat Novak
Yeah?
Inspector Hellman
So relax. I'm gonna spend the rest of the day here. You're not gonna leave the living room.
Pat Novak
I gotta spend the day with you. I'll take knockout drops.
Inspector Hellman
Suit yourself. Yeah. What's this stuff?
Pat Novak
That's good scotch. You wouldn't know. The cheap liquor's out in the kitchen closet. That's for you.
Inspector Hellman
All right. Over by the stove here?
Pat Novak
That's right.
Inspector Hellman
What do you keep in here, Novak, Mops and brooms? Where'd you buy this one?
Pat Novak
What are you talking about?
Inspector Hellman
Where'd you buy this one? Smart man.
Pat Novak
Hellman was right. I could tell right away it wasn't a mop. When Hellman pushed him out, he rolled out onto the linoleum a dapper little guy. Except For a piece of cord around his throat, tied in a funny knot. It was deader than a broken drum. Somebody pulled too hard on that piece of cord. The veins were standing out in his forehead. His face looked like a road map lying there on the floor. He wasn't pretty. Hellman thought so too.
Inspector Hellman
Who is he, Novak?
Jocko Madigan
Your father.
Pat Novak
I've never seen him in my closet before.
Inspector Hellman
Who is he, Novak?
Pat Novak
I don't know, Hellman. Finders keepers. You roll him.
Inspector Hellman
Give me a hand. There's nothing there. Where's his wallet?
Pat Novak
You'll get there by instinct.
Inspector Hellman
Yeah. Yeah, here it is. His name is Kirk Toomey.
Pat Novak
Well, that helped.
Inspector Hellman
Who is he?
Pat Novak
The guy on the Monterey road.
Inspector Hellman
The one with the microfilm?
Pat Novak
I guess so.
Inspector Hellman
I thought you didn't know anything about it. How'd you know he came from the Monterey road?
Pat Novak
My dream book. Hellman, what happens now? Nothing.
Inspector Hellman
Except I'm on the case now and you got trouble in a major key.
Pat Novak
You don't think I killed this guy?
Inspector Hellman
I don't know.
Pat Novak
Did you? You better hop out and tail that girl. She was making herself at home when I got here.
Inspector Hellman
Yeah? How do I know you're not in it together?
Pat Novak
Don't cop her. Maybe she's low, but I'm. Leopold, when you're through with her, you might hit the Monterey and start looking for a Jack of Clubs some more.
Inspector Hellman
Dream book, Novak.
Pat Novak
Everybody's looking for a Jack of Clubs, Hellman. It must be the end of the rainbow. That's where you're gonna find that microfilm.
Inspector Hellman
In the meantime, you stay handy, Novak. I wanna split you with the FBI.
Pat Novak
You don't think I'm gonna take the rap for Junior here, do you?
Inspector Hellman
It says that in my book. Just relax until I'm ready to pick you up. I only have to find a couple of things.
Pat Novak
That'll be a long time, Hellman. You can't find your hip pocket with Radar.
Inspector Hellman
Yeah, I'll be around soon, Novak. Don't bother to pack your bags. You'll be traveling light.
Pat Novak
Well, when Hellman left, I knew I was a second division club. That phony plant in the bank, the tie up with Max Coleman and that stiff in the kitchen made me look real bad. I had to do something in a hurry because the way things stood, I had about as much chance as a lawn party in a monsoon. There were a lot of bases to tag. So I looked up Jocko Madigan. An ex doctor who invented the hangover, but a good guy. I finally found him over in north beach at a little Joint called Lupo's. He was eating pizza with one hand and strangling a bottle of wine with the other.
Jocko Madigan
Hello, Patsy.
Pat Novak
Oh.
Inspector Hellman
Oh, Frank.
Jocko Madigan
Bottle of wine for Mr. Novak.
Pat Novak
No, I'm short on time, Jocko.
Jocko Madigan
That's where you're wrong, Patsy. People always say it, but it's a lie.
Pat Novak
Will you calm down a minute?
Jocko Madigan
You say you're short on time, but you have all the time there is. It's the one thing that keeps you from being a beggar. There are only 24 hours in a day, and that gives you as much time as Napoleon or Alexander had.
Pat Novak
Will you shut up a minute and put on that wine?
Jocko Madigan
I'm celebrating, Patsy. I'm celebrating Mission Day.
Pat Novak
Mission Day's over.
Jocko Madigan
I'm a native son. We celebrate longer.
Pat Novak
Now. Look, I'm behind the eight ball again.
Jocko Madigan
Isn't it getting kind of crowded back there? What's the matter?
Pat Novak
Somebody strangled a guy and put him in my broom closet.
Jocko Madigan
When did you find him?
Pat Novak
I didn't. Hellman did. There's a girl named Connie Riley. Looks good for the job.
Jocko Madigan
Why doesn't Hellman Booker then?
Pat Novak
He's still picking up the pieces. The dead guy is Kurt Toomey. He was set to smuggling some microfilm. It says here I'm contact. You gotta help me, Jocko.
Jocko Madigan
You've got me confused with the travel agency.
Pat Novak
I want you to hop down to headquarters. Get all the dope you can on this guy Toomey. I'm gonna look up Connie Riley.
Jocko Madigan
How did she get in the picture?
Pat Novak
What difference does it make? She's a wrestler I met this morning. Now get onto headquarters, will you?
Jocko Madigan
That's why I like you, Patch. You're like a piece of blank verse. A bad piece of blank verse.
Pat Novak
All right, Jocko. I'm gonna make like a strip of bacon if I don't get going now. Stay close to headquarters. If anything looks good, contact me at Connie Riley's here at this address. All right.
Jocko Madigan
How many times shall I knock, lover?
Pat Novak
I left Jocko and dropped by the apartment. I was smart and full of courage, like a female field mouse at bay. The police had already been there with fingerprint powder all over. And the two bottles of whiskey were gone. They'd moved Laughing boy out of the kitchen. I sat down, trying to add things up. I had a short list of friends to see. Connie, Max Coleman and whoever this guy Chris was. I had to show up with one of them or prove that Kirk Toomey hung himself in my closet. I was getting ready to borrow a piece of Cord myself. And the phone rang.
Connie Riley
Yeah.
Inspector Hellman
Hello, Novak. This is Hellman.
Pat Novak
I'm thrilled. What's on your mind?
Inspector Hellman
I just called on your girlfriend.
Pat Novak
What'd she say?
Inspector Hellman
Nothing. She wasn't there. Hasn't been there since 10:00 this morning.
Pat Novak
That's funny.
Inspector Hellman
Yeah. You know where she is?
Pat Novak
How would I know?
Inspector Hellman
Just thought she might be in your closet. I picked up Toomey stuff on the Monterey road.
Pat Novak
Yeah? What'd you find?
Inspector Hellman
No, usual stuff. Clothes, some shaving equipment, razor blades, toothpaste and a pack of playing cards.
Pat Novak
Pack of cards? Well, you know where to go from there, Hellman, I thought I did. Grab that Jack of clubs Will attend.
Inspector Hellman
Our hearts too, huh? That's right, Novak. A nice fat deck. But the Jack of clubs is missing.
Pat Novak
Oh, you're always too little too late, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
I just thought I'd let you know, friend, in case you start a bridge game with 53 cards in the deck. Good night.
Pat Novak
Oh, I was losing money fast, like a street carnival in Death Valley. Well, one or two things happened. Somebody got on that boat and took the Jack of clubs while Toomey was at my apartment. Or maybe he brought it with him. If he brought it with him, Connie was a possibility. Or somebody that got there ahead of Connie. Well, anyway, I had to work fast now because whoever had that card wasn't going to put it on a market street float. About 10 minutes later, I cut across Union Square and up Bush Street. When I got to Connie's apartment, It was about 10 o'clock. I got in the back door and started through. She wasn't there. So I went to work looking for that jack of clubs. It was real easy. I tied the desk and her bureau drawer. You know, that black chiffon's coming back in style with. That's where I found the card. It looked nice ness on there. I put it in my pocket and that's as far as I got.
Christopher Downs
You run the lingerie counter?
Pat Novak
You know that you sound like a guy named Chris.
Christopher Downs
If it makes you feel better.
Pat Novak
Should we put on the light?
Christopher Downs
No, no, let's don't put on the light. This gun might upset you.
Pat Novak
The police are looking for you, Chris. You need more than the dark.
Christopher Downs
I understand they're looking for you, Novak. That Riley girl kind of put you on the spot. Tell you what I'll do, though.
Pat Novak
Yeah? You'll give me $1,000 for the Jack of Clubs.
Christopher Downs
I started to say 500.
Pat Novak
Around here there's a whisper and even grand.
Christopher Downs
Mister, you're trying to collect too many places Want the 500?
Pat Novak
No, I don't.
Christopher Downs
All right, but I think you're a bum. Business.
Pat Novak
Jocko found me catnapping on Connie's bare rug. Must have been right after the sapping. When I woke up, Jocko was thumbing my head like a housewife with a bowl of margarine. I felt around and waited for him to put the floor in again. I reached in my pocket. The Jack of Clubs was gone. Then I started to talk.
Jocko Madigan
Jocko, did you expect someone better?
Pat Novak
Help me up, will you?
Jocko Madigan
I've helped you get up so much, I feel like one of the Wright brothers.
Pat Novak
I just lost round three.
Jocko Madigan
Yeah, I saw him getting into the car. Did you get a number like Hellman's got yours? Here it is.
Pat Novak
Let me see. Anything break down at Homicide?
Jocko Madigan
They got all the dope on to me. They had to piece it together. He had no fingerprint record and they finally confirmed things with a set of false teeth.
Pat Novak
What does it prove?
Jocko Madigan
Nothing much, except you probably killed him. He was a foreign agent who picked up microfilm at Shanghai. Your girlfriend is pretty.
Pat Novak
Did they find her?
Jocko Madigan
Yeah.
Pat Novak
Dead.
Jocko Madigan
No. Patsy, you gotta stop thinking of people as being dead all the time. It's demoralizing.
Pat Novak
What'd she say?
Jocko Madigan
She denied knowing anything about to me.
Pat Novak
Jocko, I'm sure she killed that guy up in my apartment. I'd stake my life on it.
Jocko Madigan
Expertly put. Patsy. I think Hellman believes her. After all, she's the only lead.
Pat Novak
What about Max Coleman, the guy that rigged my bank account? Are they letting him die on the vine?
Jocko Madigan
I was getting to that. Your friend Max Coleman has disappeared.
Pat Novak
I thought he was being tailed.
Jocko Madigan
The kite got away. Here, use my aspirin.
Pat Novak
Well, I took a boat out to the Monterey Rose, but that was a waste of time. Hellman had it covered like a tarpaulin. I still had the license number to Chris's car, but that didn't do any good. Even if I found him, all I could do was point my finger. There were still a lot of things that didn't fall into place. One of them was how come that Jack of Clubs was so easy to find in Connie's apartment? She hadn't hid it very well after all. Maybe that was a habit with her. Things didn't look any better. The next morning, I went into a restaurant next to the Press Club for some breakfast. The Chronicle was lying on the counter. We were in second place because it was a torso murder all over page one. That second cup of coffee saved me because right after that I spotted it on one of the back pages. A picture and a small story about some unidentified guy who'd been killed over in Oakland. I couldn't match the picture too well with Hellman's snapshot of Max Coleman. But it looked like my best break so far. I got over to Oakland and I went straight to the morgue. The guy in the morgue was chatty.
Morgue Attendant
Which fella you want to see?
Pat Novak
This is the unidentified guy. He must have come in last night.
Jocko Madigan
Sure.
Morgue Attendant
Down this way.
Pat Novak
Okay.
Morgue Attendant
How do you like our morgue?
Pat Novak
One of my favorites.
Morgue Attendant
It's bigger than San Francisco.
Pat Novak
Yeah, I figured that. Sure.
Morgue Attendant
Most people don't know that, but it's true. Bigger than San Francisco. Here we are, right here. Help me slide it out.
Pat Novak
Sure.
Morgue Attendant
Makes it a lot easier.
Pat Novak
Yeah.
Morgue Attendant
Here, let me get that sheet.
Pat Novak
All right. Well, well.
Morgue Attendant
Recognize him?
Pat Novak
Yeah. What time did he die?
Morgue Attendant
Coroner's report here on the toe tag. About 11 o'clock last night. Two gunshots.38 caliber pistols.
Pat Novak
That's good.
Morgue Attendant
Don't look good to me. Was he a friend of yours? Relative, son?
Pat Novak
Yeah, a relative. He's my maiden aunt. It was Max Coleman, all right. But that was only half the problem. I had some of the answers, but not enough. It's like trying to weave a rug with a spinning wheel and a bucket of sand. Well, anyway, I got to a payphone and called Jocko. I told him to run down that license number. Then I headed back across the bridge. When I found Jocko, he said the car was registered in the name of Christopher Downs, who lived up on Taylor Street. That was enough of a lead, so I telephoned Hellman. Took about a half a minute to draw a map.
Inspector Hellman
Hello? Hellman talking.
Pat Novak
This is Novak. You still got Connie Riley down there?
Inspector Hellman
No, I saved matchboxes. Why?
Pat Novak
When did she leave last night?
Inspector Hellman
About 9:30.
Pat Novak
That was smart, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
Why?
Pat Novak
You better put a guard on her front door and get up to 720 Taylor St. The apartment of Christopher Downs. Who's he? A late entry. Now climb out of that coma and get going. I'll meet you up there in 10 minutes.
Inspector Hellman
720 Taylor Street.
Pat Novak
Yeah, it's up on the hill.
Inspector Hellman
That's good, Novak. I can roll you all the way down.
Pat Novak
When Jocko and I got up to Down's apartment, there was nobody home. I said a fast prayer for Connie. And I began going through down stuff for a.38 caliber revolver. Jocko was looking, too, over in the liquor cabinet.
Christopher Downs
That's as far as we got cabins. You're hunting, Mr. Novak.
Pat Novak
Hello, Chris. You haven't seen a.38 around.
Christopher Downs
Just one that's in my pocket.
Pat Novak
The same one that killed Max Coleman.
Christopher Downs
You're gonna run out of breath, Novak. Slow down.
Pat Novak
I'm in second already, Mister, I can't stop.
Christopher Downs
Then you won't mind a short ride out the door and down the back stairs.
Pat Novak
Should we bring in a lap robe?
Christopher Downs
There's nothing to worry about. It's a short trip. You won't even have to wire the folks.
Pat Novak
We went down the back way and into the garage next door. We started for a big car in the corner.
Christopher Downs
All right, get in out the airport road, Joan.
Pat Novak
Sure.
Christopher Downs
Now relax, Novak. From here you look like a duck in the pond. All right, Joe.
George Feniman
Watch out, Joe.
Inspector Hellman
Joe, watch out. There's another car coming in.
Pat Novak
You're right, Chris. It was a short ride. You.
Inspector Hellman
All right, Novak?
Pat Novak
Stop acting like the mother hen. Helm and take this guy's gun.
Inspector Hellman
All right, mister. Get out. Who is he?
Pat Novak
Christopher Downs. He killed Max Coleman last night.
Inspector Hellman
Does he convince you, mister?
Christopher Downs
Not entirely.
Pat Novak
Well, at.38, will the Oakland police have two slugs that fit that gun? You need more?
Christopher Downs
No, I'm afraid you've got all the trumps. Now back.
Inspector Hellman
All right, let's go, you.
Jocko Madigan
Let's see.
Christopher Downs
Earn it, copper.
Inspector Hellman
Stop him. Nowhere.
Pat Novak
He ain't going far. Well, Hellman, now you can arrest him for jaywalking. Yeah, too bad. He could have told you a lot about that stiff in my closet. Well, go pick him up, Hellman. And don't forget that jack of clubs in his pocket. Well, it worked out all right. I left Hellman dropped by headquarters to leave a note. Then I went home to my apartment. Connie was there. The whiskey was out again. She looked real good sitting there in a white crepe dress. It was one of those tight fitting babies that make a bathing suit look like a toga. I told her all about Chris and Max Coleman. Then we forgot about everything but the Olympics. When she put her arms around you, it was a real squeeze. It felt like an old tube of shaving cream. I was pouring a drink when the doorbell rang. Hello, Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
You ready, Novak?
Pat Novak
Sure. Well, don't stand there gaping. Arrest her for murder.
Connie Riley
Wait a minute. Slow down, Patsy.
Pat Novak
Sorry, chum, it's you or me.
Connie Riley
Now be a nice boy.
Pat Novak
I am. That's why you go to Hellman.
Inspector Hellman
Come on, Letty.
Pat Novak
You dig up an answer for that guy that you left in my closet.
Connie Riley
I didn't leave any guy in your closet.
Pat Novak
You'll have to say it louder, baby. They found the store. You Bought the cord.
Connie Riley
That cord came out of your kitchen.
Pat Novak
You're a big mouth, cousin.
Connie Riley
Yeah, you can put that in, bold face. How did you know?
Pat Novak
You're the only one could have taken that Jack of Clubs here in the apartment. That and one other thing.
Connie Riley
Yeah?
Pat Novak
That knot in the cord was a funny knot. You got an elastic garter there. Too big. So you tied a knot in it. The same funny knot that choked Kirk to me.
Connie Riley
You're a funny guy, Novak. Yeah, you're nice to handle. I should have killed you and married you. Ready, Hellman?
Pat Novak
Well, Jack of Clubs was a phony right from the start. Somebody told Kirk Toomey to deal with me. When he came to my apartment, Connie was waiting. She got jumpy and killed him. I got there too soon, so she had to stall me off. When she got home, she found out that the Jack of Clubs was a phony. She left it in plain sight. And Chris gobbled up the bait. When he discovered there was no microfilm, he went gunning for Max Coleman. Max was an innocent thief lying low, waiting to buy it from me. So all three of them were after a phony card. I began to suspect it was phony because everybody hung around. If it was the McCoy, Connie would have cleared out. Same for Chris. The microphone? Well, it was in Hellman's desk, but he didn't know it. Jocko finally tumbled. The report said that Kirk Toomey had false teeth. When Hellman picked up his stuff on the ship was a tube of toothpaste. No, clean false teeth with toothpaste. Word must have gotten around that the microfilm was inside that Jack of Clubs. So Kirk crossed him up and put it in the tube of toothpaste. Well, that's all, except they canceled my thousand dollar deposit. Hellman said it was lucky I noticed her guard her lucky. Well, she had to straighten her seams, didn't?
George Feniman
The American Broadcasting Company has just brought you the second of a new series Pat Novak for Hire, starring Jack Webb. Jocko Madigan is played by Tudor Owen. Inspector Hellman is played by Raymond Burr. Music was composed and conducted by radio and television Life Award winner Basil Adlam. In our cast were Betty Lou Gerson, Victor Perrin, Ted De Courcia and Herb Butterfield. Today we're happy to welcome a new member of the ABC family as station K A R M in Fresno, California, joins our network. And now, this is George Feniman reminding you to be with us again next week when over most of these same ABC stations we'll bring you Pat Novak for hire. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is abc, the American Broadcasting Company.
Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Pat Novak For Hire Episode: "Jack Of Clubs"
Introduction
Pat Novak For Hire is a gripping episode from the Golden Age of Radio, brought to life by Harold's Old Time Radio. Set against the bustling backdrop of San Francisco's waterfront in the late 1940s, the story follows the titular character, Pat Novak—a private investigator entangled in a web of mystery, deceit, and danger. This episode, titled "Jack Of Clubs," delves deep into Pat's latest case involving a suspicious bank deposit, a femme fatale, and a missing jack of clubs that ties it all together.
The Mysterious Bank Deposit
The episode kicks off with Pat Novak at his local bank. [00:35] Pat Novak introduces himself with his characteristic grit:
"Sure, I'm Pat Novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my shop says, Pat Novak for hire." [00:35]
Pat attempts to deposit a hundred dollars but is baffled when the bank teller informs him of an unexpected thousand-dollar deposit made on Friday—a deposit he firmly denies making.
"Look, bloomer girl, just mark the slip, huh?" [02:13]
As doubts arise about the legitimacy of the deposit, Pat realizes he’s inadvertently become involved in something much bigger than a simple banking error.
Encounter with Connie Riley
Returning home, Pat finds Connie Riley in his apartment, sipping his whiskey and seemingly too interested in his affairs. Their conversation reveals a deeper intrigue:
"Over next to me. I won't buy it." [04:29]
Connie hints at a significant opportunity involving a passenger named Kurt Tooney carrying a "jack of Clubs," suggesting that this card holds substantial value.
"A passenger named Kurt Tooney is carrying a jack of Clubs, and it means a lot to me." [04:59]
Pat remains skeptical, suspecting foul play and the involvement of the FBI in tracking his activities.
Inspector Hellman's Investigation
Pat's concerns escalate when Inspector Hellman from the San Francisco Police arrives, adding pressure to the unfolding mystery. Their tense interaction reveals connections between Pat, Connie, and the enigmatic Jack of Clubs.
Inspector Hellman: "You ever see this guy before?" [07:03]
Pat Novak: "Let me see. He's an awful looking thug." [07:06]
A dead body, later identified as Kirk Toomey, is discovered in Pat's closet, intensifying the stakes and implicating Pat further in a potential crime.
Unveiling the Mystery
Determined to clear his name, Pat seeks the help of his friend Jocko Madigan, an ex-doctor with a penchant for unconventional solutions. Their dialogue provides critical insights into the case:
Jocko Madigan: "There are only 24 hours in a day, and that gives you as much time as Napoleon or Alexander had." [11:31]
Pat uncovers that the Jack of Clubs is a key piece in a larger scheme involving fake microfilm and deceptive tactics by Connie Riley and Christopher Downs.
Confrontation and Resolution
The climax unfolds as Pat confronts Connie and Downs, leading to the revelation that the Jack of Clubs was a decoy. Their scheme to leverage a phony card backfires, resulting in betrayal and the exposure of their true intentions.
Pat Novak: "When you get it, the price is a grand." [05:42]
Connie Riley: "You take your deal to some other broker." [05:24]
In a final showdown, Pat exposes the fraudulent activities, clears his name, and unravels the intricate plot woven by his adversaries. Inspector Hellman’s involvement adds a layer of law enforcement pressure that ensures justice is served.
Conclusion
Jack Of Clubs masterfully combines suspense, sharp dialogue, and intricate plotting to deliver a compelling narrative. Through Pat Novak's relentless pursuit of the truth, listeners are immersed in a tale of intrigue and deception typical of the Golden Age of Radio. This episode not only entertains but also showcases the quintessential elements of classic radio drama: strong character development, engaging storytelling, and memorable catchphrases.
Notable quotes that encapsulate the episode’s essence include:
Jack Of Clubs serves as a standout episode in the Pat Novak For Hire series, exemplifying the thrilling and suspenseful nature of old-time radio dramas.
Credits
The episode features a stellar cast, including Jack Webb as Pat Novak, Tudor Owen as Jocko Madigan, and Raymond Burr as Inspector Hellman. The evocative score, composed and conducted by Basil Adlam, further elevates the storytelling, immersing listeners in the noir ambiance of San Francisco.
Listen Again
For those new to Pat Novak For Hire, "Jack Of Clubs" is a must-listen that captures the spirit of mid-20th-century radio storytelling. Tune in to Harold's Old Time Radio to experience more adventures of Pat Novak and his encounters with deception, danger, and detective work.