People Are Funny 55-xx-xx Dancing With Three Men

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "People Are Funny 55-xx-xx Dancing With Three Men"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Art Linkletter (as heard in the episode)
Date of Original Airing: October 1, 2025 (Rebroadcast of a classic episode)

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Overview

This episode of "People Are Funny," hosted by the legendary Art Linkletter, revisits radio stunts that both amuse and touch the heart. The primary focus is on how ordinary people react in unpredictable situations—whether it's a child in need of help, a woman challenged to discern between men with and without artificial legs, or a self-assured bachelor cook facing homemakers' quiz questions. The stunts aim to reveal the humor, compassion, and sometimes surprising behavior of everyday folks.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Little Girl and the Lost Dollar

Segment begins: 01:03; Results: 25:27

Premise:
Eight-year-old actress Penny Atkinson is sent to a nearby market, acting as if she’s lost the dollar given to her for groceries. The stunt tests whether a stranger will offer to help her. The reward for the Good Samaritan: a new Plymouth convertible.

Highlights:

• Art explains to Penny how to act: “You be a sad little girl.” (03:35 – Art to Penny)
• Penny must not reveal the stunt or the show’s presence.
• If someone helps, they’re to be brought back and surprised with the car.

Resolution:
Penny returns alone.

"Well, a lot of people passed me, but some looked at me, but not very many." (26:25 – Penny)
"In other words, all the people who passed you, those who stopped and those who didn’t, nobody offered to help a little girl?" (27:36 – Art)
"Yes, nobody offered." (27:36 – Penny)

Art reveals that nobody helped Penny, meaning everyone missed out on the major prize for a simple act of kindness.

Memorable Moment:

"And all those people, if they see this show right now, are going to give themselves a good big kick right where it’ll do them the most good." (27:43 – Art)

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2. Dancing with Three Men: Can Observation Dispel Disability Stereotypes?

Segment begins: 06:09

Premise:
Vera Batagar, a housewife and former dance teacher from Mill Valley, CA, is challenged to dance with three men. Unbeknownst to her, one has no artificial limbs, one has one artificial leg, and one has two. Her task: identify which is fully able-bodied.

Introduction of Contestants:

• Fred Quesenberry (wearing one artificial leg; 11:22)
• Ed Razika (wearing two artificial legs; 14:16)
• Dr. Charles Hutter (orthopedic surgeon, no artificial limbs; 13:18)

Highlights:

• Vera dances with each man for 30 seconds, focusing not on dancing skill, but subtle cues of mobility.
• Vera finds it “very difficult,” citing there’s little difference in their movement (10:58).

Shocking Outcome and Discussion:

• Vera guesses incorrectly at first, picking Fred Quesenberry, who reveals,

"I am wearing an artificial leg." (11:22 – Fred)

• Fred shares,

"That’s our aim: to rehabilitate people to the highest extent and...put them back into life as near a whole person as possible." (11:57 – Fred)

• Dr. Hutter, the correctly identified able-bodied man, gives insight on rehabilitating amputees:

"If they’ll put their heart into learning how to walk and how to use their prosthesis, they’ll have no difficulty with fooling people." (13:39 – Dr. Hutter)

• Ed Razika, a double amputee and VA worker, touching story:

"So we learned to walk together, the two of them, in Los Angeles." (14:55 – Ed)

• Ed’s inspiring message:

"...it’s not what you’ve lost, but it’s what you have left that counts." (15:56 – Ed)

Takeaway:
Art closes this segment with praise for their courage:

"Not that people are funny, but that people are pretty swell and courageous and fine." (15:56 – Art)

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3. The Bachelor Cook Showdown

Segment begins: 17:30

Premise:
Joel Starls, a self-professed bachelor chef and attorney, faces off against questions from housewives about the kitchen. If he fails, he must taste a bizarre concoction being assembled onstage.

Key Interactions:

• Questions include egg shell color differences, preventing berry pie boil-overs, onion-peeling tips, and preventing sour cream from curdling in pheasant gravy.
• He fumbles several questions, leading to humorous additions to the mixture (raw oysters with chocolate syrup, ice cream with sauerkraut, horseradish, raw egg).

Sample Exchange:

"What will stop a berry pie from boiling over?" (20:12 – Mrs. Dauterman)
"Take it out of the oven." (20:17 – Joel)
"Hard to go better than that..." (20:56 – Prudence Penny)

• After missing five out of four, Joel must taste the revolting dish, but is consoled with a Baker’s Pride oven for his efforts.

Notable Quotes:

"We have, without a doubt, one of the sneakiest contestants in the history of People Are Funny." (20:17 – Art)
"This dish is the dish that you serve your relatives just before you want them to go back home." (22:52 – Art)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Art Linkletter’s summation of the show's core:

  "People are funny about money...People aren’t nearly as unhappy about [a rich man's loss] as they would be about a little girl who has lost just $1." (01:03)

• Compassion and Rehabilitation:

  "It’s not what you’ve lost, but it’s what you have left that counts." (15:56 – Ed Razika)

• On Artificial Limbs and “Normal Life”:

  "I live a completely normal life." (12:09 – Fred Quesenberry)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:03] – Introduction of Penny Atkinson and the lost dollar stunt
• [05:08] – Commercial break (skipped in detail)
• [06:09] – Introduction to the “Dancing with Three Men” segment
• [09:54] – Dancing begins
• [11:10] – Vera makes her first guess
• [13:18] – Dr. Hutter on prosthetics and recovery
• [14:16] – Ed Razika’s personal story
• [17:30] – Bachelor cook segment begins
• [19:25] – Housewife quiz commences
• [22:52] – Joel tastes the bizarre dish
• [25:27] – Penny returns, reveals the result of the lost dollar stunt

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Tone and Style

The episode is marked by Art Linkletter’s gentle humor, kindness, and a philosophical undertone about human nature and resilience. While there’s plenty of light-hearted teasing (especially in the kitchen segment), the show reveals profound truths—with dignity and admiration for those overcoming physical adversity.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode demonstrates “People Are Funny” at its best—blending mischief, heart, and social wisdom. Whether seeing if strangers will help a child in need, challenging stereotypes about disability, or subjecting a boastful bachelor to culinary humiliation, the episode captures the unpredictable, sometimes inspiring, often humorous side of American life in the golden age of radio.

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Transcript

[A]

And Doug, here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[B]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[A]

Satan's period unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company Affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[B]

Can a woman learn about a man just by dancing with him?

[C]

If she can, she'll win herself a.

[B]

Big prize because this is People are Funny.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

NBC presents John Goodell's production of People are Funny, transcribed from Hollywood. And now, here's America's top master of ceremonies, Art Link letter.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, one of the easiest tricks of all to prove is that people are funny about money. Now, take for instance, a millionaire who's lost a couple of hundred thousand dollars. People aren't nearly as unhappy about him as they would be about a little girl who has lost just $1. And we're going to try to prove this tonight as we bring it to our special guests. Star spot, Ms. Penny Atkinson. Ms. Penny Atkinson. And Ms. Penny Atkinson is a young actress. At least she does some acting here in Hollywood. Don't you, Penny?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And what's your age?

[D]

8.

[B]

And where do you go to school?

[D]

Marymount School.

[B]

Do you want to be a motion picture star when you grow up or work in television or do you have some other idea?

[D]

Well, I think I'll be a tap dancer.

[B]

Oh, well, that's nice. But in the meantime, we have some acting for you to do. You have pretty brown eyes and a few freckles on your nose. And you're wearing your regular everyday dress.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

She wanted to wear a party dress and we had her change back to a regular dress because we have a very special stunt. Now, does your mother ever send you down to the store to get groceries?

[D]

Sometimes.

[B]

That's what I'm going to do tonight, Penny. Here's a little list. Can you read that?

[D]

Yes. Buttermilk, 1/4 butter.

[B]

1/4 pound of butter.

[D]

14 pound of butter, loaf of bread and bottle ketchup.

[B]

All right. Now we're going to send you to a nearby market to pick up some groceries. Now, that would cost about a dollar. You see, I have a dollar right here and I'm not going to give it to you. I'm going to pretend that I'm your papa and I gave you this dollar to buy those groceries. Now, when you get to the grocery store, you must pretend that you have lost the dollar. Now how are you going to act, do you think?

[D]

Well, sad.

[B]

That's right. You're afraid to go home because gee, you don't have the groceries and. And your mother or daddy might spank you.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So what can you do?

[D]

Try to get somebody to give me a dollar.

[B]

I guess that's the stunt. We've gotten it across to you perfectly. If this young lady can either by her appearance or her action or any way whatsoever, get people to be sympathetic and offer to pay for the groceries, then we want you to ask that person to come back here and your daddy will give him the dollar back. Okay?

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Now you have some fun. Don't be funny and don't tell them you're from. People are funny.

[E]

I won't.

[B]

You be a sad little girl.

[D]

I will.

[B]

Now you take the list. Mr. Atkins over there will see that you get to a grocery store and he'll be around so that there'll be no problems. But he'll be in the background and. And you see if you can bring somebody back who will help you out. Goodbye, Penny. Say goodbye to our audience. There they go, out the side door. Now if she finds somebody who is sweet enough, a grown up person to offer to pay her a dollar and that person comes back, I'm going to repay the dollar to that person, man or woman, and I'm going to put it in a very special container. And as a matter of fact, I think I'll walk right over here and let you see the container it's going to be in. Take it away, boys. How do you like that? A brand new jet styled Plymouth convertible with push button driving. Yes sir. What a beautiful streamlined Plymouth Plymouth convertible. And I'm going to put the dollar right under this windshield wiper. Now if somebody comes back, they get the dollar, they get the container. All for helping a little girl who lost a dollar. We'll see. How funny.

[F]

Don't breathe a word. They may run out. I promise. RCA Victor spring trade in specials. Big savings.

[D]

Big savings.

[G]

Big savings. When you trade your old TV for a new RCA Victor.

[F]

I like this model.

[G]

Big screen RCA Victor table model. Nationally advertised price $199.95.

[F]

And I can get it for less than that.

[G]

With your trade in allowance. It's yours for less than many small screen sets.

[F]

This set over here is nice and modern.

[G]

Handsome big screen table model with many extra features. How much nationally advertised price 229.95. Your trade in allowance gives you a big savings. Look at this beautiful console RCA Victor television deluxe console, nationally advertised price $329.95. Big trade in allowances bring you big savings. This is a limited time offer at RCA Victor. Dealers everywhere.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, our next stunt is going to be quite a different stunt than that which you usually see on People are Funny while it is gay and light hearted in nature, involves a contest and should bring us some fun. It has serious overtones because of the subject we have deliberately selected for this particular stunt. Would you three men turn around, please? These three men on these stools. Just remain seated. These three men on these stools you will get to know a little better as the stunt goes on. They are very special guests of ours. This lady, if you'll turn around, is a volunteer selected out of the audience. A housewife. From where?

[E]

Mill Valley, California.

[B]

And your name is?

[E]

Vera Batagar.

[B]

And Vera, how many children do you have?

[E]

18 months old.

[B]

And where do you come from?

[E]

Austria.

[B]

Austria. How long have you been in this country?

[E]

Seven years.

[B]

Did you meet your husband in Austria?

[E]

No, I met him in New Jersey.

[B]

How did you happen to meet him?

[E]

Well, I was teaching dancing at Arthur Murray's and he was a pupil.

[B]

Oh. Do most dancing teachers marry their pupils?

[E]

I think most of them do.

[B]

Uh huh. Well, that's fine. And you live in Mill Valley, California? Up by San Francisco. Mrs. Maytag, you were selected because you said when you volunteered out of the audience, you were observant. You knew how to dance, right? You must know how to dance. I want you to look at these three men, because this is where the observation part of the stunt comes in. These three men are different in this way. One of them has both of his legs and is perfectly sound. One of the other has lost a leg and is wearing an artificial leg. And the other one has lost both of his legs and is wearing two artificial legs. Now, these three men have volunteered to be our special guests because they are vitally interested in the rehabilitation program of thousands of veterans all over the United States, many of whom are learning to use artificial limbs as a result of the wars and as a result of accidents right here in these United States. They're all three good sports and they are going to participate in a contest. You are going to dance with each one of them. And if you can tell me after you have danced with the three of them which one does not have an artificial leg, I am going to give you a beautiful new outfit as a prize, worn by our model who's coming in a beautiful hanmacher suit and coat. Worth hundreds of dollars and especially tailored for you. Isn't that beautiful?

[E]

Certainly is.

[B]

Now that prize is yours. Show them that lovely coat as well as the suit that will spur you on to make your decision. Now would you please stand up? You are Mr. Mr. E.D.

[H]

Ruzika.

[B]

Mr. E. D. Ruzika. Right. How old are you, Ed? 42. 42. Would you stand up please, sir? You are?

[I]

Fred Quesenberry.

[B]

How old are you, Fred? 44. 44. Our next guest, Mr. Mr. Charles Hutter. And how old are you, Charlie? 40. 40. Now if you three men will remain standing, I will come over to the jukebox, I will start one of my favorite songs, Our People Are Funny theme song which you hear at the start of the show. We're going to ask you to dance with each of them for about 30 seconds, one after the other. I'll tell you when to start and when to stop. And at the end of the time we'll see if you can tell. All right, here we go.

[H]

Stand.

[B]

Start with the first gentleman first when you hear the music. All right, fine. Now the next gentleman. You're not judging how good a dancer they are, you're judging the other. All right, now our next guest. All right, time's up. Now if you gentlemen will be seated again and if you'll come over here and sit down by me. This rather interesting choice, isn't it?

[E]

Very difficult.

[B]

It is difficult, certainly. Which one of these three is whole bodied and has no artificial leg, in your opinion?

[E]

I think the middle one.

[B]

You think the middle one. Would you please stand up, sir? Your name is Fred Quesenberry. Now Fred, are you or are you not wearing an artificial leg?

[I]

I am wearing an artificial leg.

[B]

And you are the man with just one leg.

[I]

I have just one leg amputated.

[B]

How long have you. How long ago did you have the accident?

[I]

Well, when I was 11 years old.

[B]

Uh huh. And what is your business now?

[I]

I manufacture artificial limbs.

[B]

Uhhuh. And as a matter of fact, you told me before we went on the air that these artificial limbs more and more are becoming built and fixed so that people can live a perfectly, almost a normal life.

[I]

Well, that's our aim is to rehabilitate people to the highest extent and make put them back into life as near a whole person as possible.

[B]

And you dance?

[I]

Oh yes.

[B]

Walk and run and live a normal life.

[I]

I live a completely normal life.

[B]

Well, thank you very much. If you'll just sit down. Thank you. Well, you've lost the first prize. I tell you, I'll give you a beautiful new for your home. A beautiful new Mohawk carpet from the looms of Mohawk for any one of the rooms of your house. And a foam set cushion to go with it, if you can tell me which one. The outside man or the inside man?

[E]

It's strictly a guess. I really don't know.

[B]

Well, this, I think, will be a very, very wonderful inspiration to a lot of boys all over the country. Who are faced with the prospect of making their life over again with one or both legs off. Which one are you going to say?

[E]

This one.

[B]

This one right here, you'll say. Well, let's see. Since you've got to know one way or the other. Now, I'll start with the other gentleman. Would you please stand up? Your name is Dr. Charles Hutter. And what do you do, Doctor? I'm an orthopedic surgeon. How many amputees do you work with in the matter of learning to be a rehabilitator?

[J]

About 2,000.

[B]

Do you or do you not have your own legs?

[J]

I have my own legs.

[B]

Well, and she was right. But purely on a guess. Which is a great tribute, isn't it?

[J]

Yes.

[B]

To this business?

[J]

Yes.

[B]

In. In the years that you've spent working with boys who are back from overseas, Doctor, what sort of a thing would you. Have you learned that you would like to tell other young men and women who have lost a limb or two?

[J]

Well, I think the most important thing is that they have a satisfactory stump. That can tolerate the pressures of an artificial leg. And that after that has been accomplished, they should feel that they have to conquer a new problem. And if they'll put their heart into learning how to walk and how to use their prosthesis, they'll have no difficulty with fooling people. And recovering their complete use of their extremity.

[B]

Thank you very much. Now, I know you're all anxious to meet our third guest, whom she selected as a pure chance guest. You didn't feel any. Any awkwardness or anything at all. And your name is?

[H]

It's Ed Razika.

[B]

Ed, who do you work for?

[H]

I work for the U.S. veterans Administration in this area.

[B]

And on what occasion did you lose your two legs, Ed?

[H]

It was about 11 years ago in the Battle to the Bulge. Landmine explosion. World War II.

[B]

World War II, huh? And, Ed, you came back, and naturally you were discouraged and disappointed and unhappy about life with two legs missing. But you certainly made up for lost time. Isn't it true that you. When you came back, you had a little. A little girl?

[H]

That's right. My little daughter, Jerriann.

[B]

How old was she when you got back?

[H]

Well, when I got. There was a discharge. She was about 11 months old and just learning to walk.

[B]

So.

[H]

So we learned to walk together, the two of them, in Los Angeles.

[B]

Daddy and daughter learned to walk together. You with your new legs and her with her comparatively new legs.

[H]

That's right. We had a lot of fun together, and we learned to walk together.

[B]

And now you go dancing and you do other things that you thought you never could do.

[H]

Well, I still do those things. I try. And I was married before we. I was in service, and I had a good wife who sort of stood by me. And now we've got three children and happy, normal family.

[B]

Now you work for the. For the government, don't you?

[H]

That's right. Veterans Administration. And medical counseling and rehabilitation work helping others, we'll say, less fortunate than ourselves, to be rehabilitated. We help them get artificial limbs, teach them how to use them. And this right here is part of our little clinic team that operates at the Los Angeles VA Regional Office downtown. Dr. Hutter, Fred Quisenberry and several other men and physical therapists and myself make up the clinic team here. And we always found through the years that our slogan sort of is that it's not what you've lost, but it's what you have left that counts.

[B]

Well, what do you think about that, ladies and gentlemen? Aren't these three fellas fine representative Americans? And this is basic. Well, we thank you for helping us demonstrate that not that people are funny, but that people are pretty swell and courageous and fine. And we are going to send the Mohawk carpet up to your home. We hope you enjoy it. And you three gentlemen, we have some special presents for you after the program. Goodbye. Thank you very much. Every once in a while, we come out in the audience looking for some very special guest. And just before going on the air, we told you we were looking for amateur cooks. Do we have any men around here who think they're good cooks? Let's see some hands of men who think they're good cooks. Some over there. Here's a fellow in the front row. Would you stand up, sir? What's your name? Joel Starls. What do you do for a living, Joel? I'm an attorney. And you're a cook? I think so. A good cook? Pretty good. Come on out here, Joel. I'm gonna find out what kind of a fella you are. Come right on up the aisle here where we can all see you. You married or single? I'm single. Oh, you have to cook, don't you? That's right. What's. What's your specialty dish, Mr. Starl? What do you cook? If you were gonna show off. Chicken. And you've. You've been cooking and you've been hanging around kitchens and taking care of your own meal fixing most of the time, I'd like to ask you, why do you think that the men, if they put their mind to it, are as good a cook as a woman? I think they're better. You do? I do. You have sampled some of your husband, your wives, your friends, wives cooking? Some of my friends, wives cooking. That's right. And you think. I think with the. When the men put their mind to it, they're better. Well, you know, it's funny about men. They do kind of feel they can do everything better. And so while we had you outside, before we put you back in the seat tonight, we asked some women here to volunteer to ask you some questions to test what kind of a cook you are. And I want to tell you that if you can answer five out of seven questions by housewives who are now your friends, after what you've said to them, you are going to win a beautiful Lambretta motor scooter. The finest motor scooter made. You'll find the Lambretta is great for fun, for economy, and the perfect vehicle for any use. For every single question you lose, of the seven you'll be asked, I have a very interesting thing for you, Miss Penny. Will you come out, please? I'd like to have you folks meet the home economics editor of the Los Angeles Examiner, Ms. Prudence Penny. Hello, Prudence. We have certainly admired all the wonderful things that you have been writing in the papers about good cooking. And I see that you are standing there with all kinds of things. Now, how many different kinds of ingredients do you have?

[E]

At least 13, art.

[B]

And you have a bowl?

[E]

Yes, a wonderful mixing bowl and my spoon. And I'm all ready to make that caliente souffle tonight.

[B]

Now, Miss Prudence Penny is going to make a special new dish that has never been tried before in the history of the world. And we are going to let the women call out the ingredients if you miss their questions. And when she has mixed the dish, you get to taste it. All right. Now, let's see. Where's our first lady? Would you stand up? Come right in here, Joel.

[E]

Your Mrs. Mrs. Marilyn Mon from North Hollywood.

[B]

Housewife.

[E]

That's right.

[B]

Now, what question would you have for our young bachelor?

[E]

Well, I'd like to ask him what's the Difference between a white egg and a brown egg.

[B]

A white egg and a browned egg. A white egg and a brown egg. The shell of a white egg is white and the shell of a brown egg is brown. Is a brown egg stronger?

[E]

There's no difference except in the color of this shell.

[B]

Well, he said that. You said white egg, white shell and the brown shell. That is correct. Who's the next lady? Let's see the hands. This lady right here. Would you stand up? You are Mrs. Frank Dauterman from San Gabriel, California?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Now, you look like a good cook. Do you have a question for our proud chef?

[E]

Yes, I do. What will stop a berry pie from boiling over?

[B]

What will stop a berry pie from boiling over? I never heard of boiling a berry pie. You're supposed to bake them. We have, without a doubt, one of the snow sneakiest contestants in the history of People are funny. When you bake them, you mean what? When you bake a pie, what stops them from boiling over? You take it out of the oven. Prudence Penny, I think he's right. What is the answer?

[E]

Hard to go better than that. But my answer is that if you put moisture on the edge of the lower crust before sealing the top crust on, you will find that it will not boil over.

[B]

Now he has missed your question. What out of the secret list that we gave you, would you like to have Ms. Penny put into our brand new recipe?

[E]

Raw oysters and chocolate syrup.

[B]

All right. There are the raw oysters. You notice it's very important that the oysters go in before the chocolate syrup.

[E]

That's right.

[B]

Oh, we have the start of an unusual dish. Thank you. Our next guest. Let's see another one. Come on down here. This lady is Mrs. Robert Mayer from Lodi, California. What would you like to ask, Mrs. Mayer?

[E]

How do you keep onions from burning your eyes while peeling them?

[B]

How do you peel an onion and prevent it from burning your eyes? Close your eyes, Prudence Penny.

[E]

The best answer is to peel them under water or running water, if you prefer.

[B]

Oh, you didn't know that? Joel, I'm amazed at you. What would you like to add to our recipe?

[E]

Soft strawberry ice cream and sauerkraut. Here we go.

[B]

Oh, look. The strawberry ice cream goes in on top of the chocolate sauce and the tomato and the oysters and then the sauerkraut. I've made this dish. You've made this dish? He's already made it. Let's see this lady. Would you stand up, please?

[E]

You are Mrs. Mrs. Paul Wilson from Altadena.

[B]

California, what is your question?

[E]

How do you prevent sour cream from curdling when used to make pheasant gravy?

[B]

Keep stirring, Prudence.

[E]

No, that isn't correct. The answer is to put it in at the very last and have it on very low heat and leave it there just a few seconds just to heat it through.

[B]

What would you like to add to the recipe?

[E]

Horseradish and raw egg.

[B]

Horseradish. This dish is the dish that you serve your relatives just before you want them to go back home. How many has he missed? He's missed three out of four, so he can't win the five out of seven. Let's go over and see what the dish looks like. Isn't that beauty? Now, we didn't have to go any farther than four because that eliminated you from the five for seven winning of this motor scooter. And we'd like to have each of the ladies who ask questions have a bottle of Balenciaga perfume from Paris, France. We want for Prudence Penny to take home with her a beautiful Bell and Howell camera and projector. And there it is for your own home movies. And now, could we have the dish, please? Now here, ladies and gentlemen, we have our gentleman cook about to give the taste of this lovely dish. After you. I'll take some myself. Lovely. I've made it often. Beautiful thing. Ladies and gentlemen, we have proved that men may be funny, but they better not brag about being good cooks after tonight. So, chef, we're going to send for your home a beautiful Baker's Pride automatic oven. You can make pizzas and all kinds of baking on it for your own home. Better than a wife. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[C]

Monitor NBC this weekend, it's radio's wonderful surprise show where you might hear anything from a joke told by genial Bob Hope to a joke told by your next door neighbor. A whole new world of sound and experience is at your fingertips. You might hear the boom of a heartbeat or night talk on the ocean floor. In Scope. You'll be whisked around the world, meet the most outstanding personalities of our times and hear their opinions. It's new and exciting listening for the entire family. Just one more reason why NBC leads the rest with the best in radio entertainment. Here, Monitor this weekend.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed that our 8 year old actress, Ms. Penny Atkinson is back outside the theater. You remember, we sent her out at the start of the program with a list of groceries and she was to go up and pretend that she had lost the dollar given her by her mother or her daddy. And if any one person would offer to pay for her groceries or give her a dollar so she wouldn't have to go home and take a spanking, we were going to bring that person back. And he was going to win this beautiful Plymouth convertible with jet styling and push button driving. The dollar bill I'm going to return is right underneath that windshield wiper. So they're standing outside the theater doors. If someone is with her, they'll get the surprise of their life. Would you have Penny come back in? And Penny, you're back alone. Oh, Penny, tell us what happened when you went up.

[D]

Well, a lot of people passed me, but some looked at me, but not very many. And then I talked.

[B]

Now you were crying and pretending to be very sad.

[D]

And then I talked to three people. One lady, well, I thought she was gonna give the money to me, but she said, go home and tell your mother.

[B]

In other words, just. Just go home and tell your mother you lost the dog.

[D]

Yeah. And she was giggling all the time.

[B]

She was giggling. Well, you, you don't think she suspected anything, do you?

[D]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

I mean, there were no cameras or no lights and Mr. Atkins stood well back. Didn't you, Irv? They didn't see you? Uh huh.

[D]

And then another person came and he said, oh, you're too young to be out this time of the night.

[E]

Go home.

[B]

And when you told him you needed a dollar, what'd he say?

[D]

Well, I didn't have time to tell him that.

[B]

He just went, oh, he just said, you go home, little girl, and went away?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Now the third person, well, that person.

[D]

He said he didn't have a dollar, but I think he did because he was dressed real good.

[B]

Oh, he was. And he just says, I don't have a dollar.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And he wouldn't give you a dollar? No. In other words, all the people who passed you, those who stopped and those who didn't, nobody offered to help a little girl?

[D]

Yes, nobody offered.

[B]

Well now, do you know what I was going to give that person if they had helped you?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I was going to give them that brand new automobile, thousands of dollars worth of car for a $1 investment. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we never know how these stunts are going to play out, but here's a cute and appealing and sympathetic little girl who didn't find anybody who'd help her out. And all those people, if they see this show right now, are going to give themselves a good big kick right where it'll do them the most good penny. Thank you very much for trying. Goodbye honey. Just go right out that no more for tonight except a promise for next week when a year old baby will decide whether a guest wins a 5 cent lemon or a thousand dollar diamond ring. Don't miss this one. Good night everybody. This program was Franchise from Hollywood.