Railroad Hour 48-10-11 (002) Anything Goes

Summary

Podcast Summary: Railroad Hour 48-10-11 (002) Anything Goes

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: Railroad Hour 48-10-11 (002) Anything Goes
• Release Date: March 31, 2025
• Description: Relive the charm of the Golden Age of Radio with classic shows before the advent of television. This episode features the beloved musical comedy "Anything Goes," showcasing iconic characters and memorable performances.

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1. Introduction

The episode commences with a vibrant introduction by the announcer, setting the scene for a star-studded rendition of Cole Porter's "Anything Goes." The audience is greeted by Gordon McRae as the host, alongside guest stars Margaret Whiting and Victor Moore. The rich musical backdrop is provided by the Carmen Dragon Orchestra, promising an evening filled with entertainment and nostalgia.

Notable Quote:

• Announcer [00:00]: “...the same railroads that bring you most of the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the fuel you burn and the things you use in your daily life.”

2. Setting the Scene

Gordon McRae introduces the cast and outlines the production details before transitioning into the narrative of "Anything Goes." The story revolves around Billy Crocker (played by McRae) and his interactions with Reno Sweeney (Margaret Whiting), a famous nightclub entertainer.

Notable Quote:

• Gordon McRae [01:10]: “Tonight, the Railroad Hour Show Train presents Anything Goes by Guy Bolden and PG Roadhouse with lyrics and music by Cole Porter...”

3. Characters and Initial Conflict

The plot introduces a pivotal moment at midnight as Reno Sweeney prepares to sail to England. Billy Crocker rushes to the dock to bid her farewell, only to find her boarding with her entourage. Their encounter is filled with tension and unresolved feelings from past misunderstandings.

Notable Quotes:

• Gordon McRae as Billy [02:37]: “Reno, Reno, look who came down to say bon voyage.”
• Reno Sweeney [03:03]: “Oh, Billy, Billy, darling, I didn't think you'd remember.”

4. The Elevator Incident and Hope Smith

Billy recounts an incident where he was trapped in an elevator with a mysterious woman named Hope Smith. This encounter leaves a lasting impression, as Billy becomes obsessed with finding her, believing she holds the key to his happiness.

Notable Quotes:

• Gordon McRae as Billy [03:14]: “I took one look at her and I knew this was it. For six hours all I did was lean on that stop button.”
• Reno Sweeney [04:28]: “The case when I'm out on a quiet spree fighting vainly the old ennui.”

5. Enter Reverend Moonface McGee

The introduction of Reverend Moonface McGee (Victor Moore) adds intrigue and conflict. Initially appearing as a minister, his true identity as Moonface McGee, a notorious criminal, is unveiled. His presence complicates Billy and Reno's budding relationship and Billy's quest to find Hope.

Notable Quotes:

• Reverend Moonface McGee [08:37]: “Would you folks mind if I just stood between you for a few minutes?”
• Gordon McRae as Billy [09:14]: “Reverend, pardon me, but your suitcase. Isn’t that a machine gun nestling among your socks?”

6. The Complication Unfolds

As the story progresses, Billy discovers that Reverend Moonface McGee is not who he claims to be. The revelation leads to a confrontation where Moonface attempts to seize control, introducing a subplot involving deception and hidden agendas. Hope Smith's engagement to Sir Evelyn Oakley adds another layer of complexity, intertwining personal emotions with business interests.

Notable Quotes:

• Reverend Moonface McGee [19:43]: “I’m a crook. I’m public enemy number 13.”
• Hope Smith [33:34]: “Billy, I love you, but I'm marrying Sir Evelyn. Forget about me, but always love me.”

7. The Quest for Hope

Determined to be with Hope, Billy abandons societal norms and conventional responsibilities, embodying the song’s theme that “anything goes” when one is in love. His desperation leads him to infiltrate Moonface's hideout, further entangling his fate with the criminal's schemes.

Notable Quotes:

• Gordon McRae as Billy [10:21]: “If the gal's a pal like Reno, she understands.”
• Billy [11:13]: “Boss or no boss, when you're in love, anything goes.”

8. Musical Interludes

Throughout the episode, musical numbers punctuate the narrative, enriching the storyline and providing emotional depth. Songs like “I Get a Kick Out of You” and others underscore the characters' internal conflicts and evolving relationships.

Notable Musical Moments:

• Reno Sweeney [04:28 - 07:21]: Performs “I Get a Kick Out of You,” expressing her ambivalent feelings towards Bill.
• Hope Smith and Billy Crocker [33:13 - 37:07]: Duet highlighting their unspoken connection and unresolved emotions.

9. Climax and Revelation

The climax unfolds as Billy and Moonface are captured by Sir Evelyn Oakley, revealing Moonface's true identity as Snake Eyes Johnson, placing Billy in jeopardy. However, Moonface appeals to the inherent goodness in Billy, suggesting redemption and a chance for change.

Notable Quotes:

• Sir Evelyn Oakley [24:56]: “That man you thought was a friend, Ms. Sweeney, is none other than public enemy number one.”
• Reverend Moonface McGee [25:24]: “There’s good in every man, even Snake Eyes Johnson.”

10. Resolution and Double Wedding

In a heartfelt resolution, Moonface and Billy overcome their differences, and a double wedding is orchestrated. Hope embraces her feelings for Billy, and Moonface is welcomed as the best man, symbolizing forgiveness and the triumph of love over adversity.

Notable Quotes:

• Billy [31:17]: “I’m with you, Moonface. I love you.”
• Reno Sweeney [30:54]: “Oh, Hope, you’re the one I’ve been looking for.”

11. Conclusion

The episode concludes with Gordon McRae expressing gratitude to the cast, particularly highlighting guest stars Margaret Whiting and Victor Moore. A sneak peek into the next episode teases another classic production, maintaining the nostalgic charm that defines "Harold's Old Time Radio."

Notable Quote:

• Gordon McRae [40:30]: “Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen... Until next week, goodbye.”

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Key Themes and Insights

• Love and Sacrifice: Billy's willingness to forsake everything for Hope underscores the theme that love often requires personal sacrifices.
• Redemption: Moonface's transformation from a criminal to a supportive best man highlights the potential for change and redemption.
• Deception vs. Honesty: Characters grapple with deceit, leading to misunderstandings but ultimately fostering truth and reconciliation.
• Empowerment: Reno Sweeney exhibits strength and independence, actively participating in resolving conflicts and supporting Billy.

Final Thoughts

"Anything Goes" on Harold's Old Time Radio delivers a captivating blend of humor, romance, and drama, enriched by memorable musical performances. The interplay between characters, especially the dynamic between Billy, Reno, and Moonface, offers a timeless narrative that resonates with audiences, embodying the essence of the Golden Age of Radio.

Notable Reflection:

• Gordon McRae [31:24]: “I feel like a better man already, Captain.”
• Reno Sweeney [37:48]: “Would I? I’m just sorry my old man isn’t here.”

Listeners unfamiliar with the original radio show or the musical will find this adaptation both engaging and emotionally fulfilling, encapsulating the spirit of an era where storytelling was beautifully intertwined with live performances and orchestral music.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Railroad Hour. And from Hollywood, here comes the star studded show train. Tonight your railroads, through the association of American Railroads present the sparkling musical comedy hit Anything Goes. In our star studded cast, you will hear the host of our series, Gordon McRae. Two famous guest stars, Margaret Whiting and Victor Moore, and a great cast of Hollywood featured players. The entire production set for the music of Carmen Dragons Orchestra and brought to you by the American railroads. The same railroads that bring you most of the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the fuel you burn and the things you use in your daily life. And now here is Gordon McRae.

[Gordon McRae]

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Gordon MacRae helping to bring you another in our series of musical comedy successes. Tonight, the Railroad Hour Show Train presents Anything Goes by Guy Bolden and PG Roadhouse with lyrics and music by Cole Porter and starring Margaret Whiting as Reno Sweeney. Victor Moore in his original role of Moon Face McGee. Yours truly is Billy Crocker. And a great supporting cast including Betty Lou Gerson, Ralph Sedan, Bill Deming and Herb Vig. Marvin Miller is our announcer. Our chorus is under the direction of Norman Luboff. And our orchestra is presided over by maestro Carmen Dragon, who is now playing the final strains of our overture.

[Announcer]

And now here's Gordon McRae again, this time in the character of Billy Crocker. So from now on, anything goes.

[Gordon McRae]

A very good friend of mine, the famous nightclub entertainer Reno Sweeney, was sailing at midnight with her girls to appear at a very swank spot in England. So I hurried down to the dock to see her off and when I got there, the passengers were screaming aboard, the band was playing and I began elbowing my way through the crowd looking for Reno. All at once I saw her and her girls going up the gang plank. So I dashed up after them and yelled, reno, Reno, look who came down to say bon voyage.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, Billy, Billy, darling, I didn't think you'd remember. Oh gosh, I wish you were sailing to London with me.

[Gordon McRae]

London? Why, I haven't even got the fair to Hoboken. EJ Kidney's my ex boss again.

[Reno Sweeney]

Reno, what have you done this time?

[Gordon McRae]

Well, remember the night I stood you up, Reno?

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, if this is that ridiculous story about being stuck in an elevator for six hours, I don't want to hear about it.

[Gordon McRae]

Ah, but I was stuck, Reno. There was a girl in that elevator.

[Reno Sweeney]

Three eyes maybe.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, now, Reno, you know what I mean. I took one look at her and I knew this was it. For six hours all I did was lean on that stop button. And look. I found out her name was Hope. Hope Smith.

[Reno Sweeney]

That took you six hours. Why, you used to get a phone number in six seconds.

[Gordon McRae]

Ah, but this is different. And, Reno, for four days I've been all over Manhattan trying to find her. Oh, she was an angel.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, maybe I saw her. What color are her wings?

[Gordon McRae]

Reno, you sound a little sore.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, Billy, what's the use of kidding? You know I've always had it bad for you.

[Gordon McRae]

Ah, you'll forget all about me in London. Why, monocles will be dropping into your lap like butterflies. Just think of all the excitement ahead.

[Reno Sweeney]

What excitement, Billy? It'll be as dull as a London fog without you. My story is much too sad to be told but practically everything leaves me totally cold. The only exception deception I know is.

[Victor Moore]

The case when I'm out on a quiet spree fighting vainly the old ennui.

[Reno Sweeney]

And I suddenly turn and see your.

[Victor Moore]

Fabulous face.

[Reno Sweeney]

I get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that I get a kick out of you? Some like that perfume from Spain I'm sure that if I took even one whip that would form me terrifically too Yet I get a kick out of.

[Victor Moore]

You.

[Reno Sweeney]

I get a kick every time.

[Victor Moore]

I see you standing there before me.

[Reno Sweeney]

I get a kick though it's clear to me you obviously don't.

[Victor Moore]

Adore.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Me.

[Reno Sweeney]

And as I sing this refrain.

[Victor Moore]

Each.

[Reno Sweeney]

Tender note Mr. Cole Porter wrote gives.

[Victor Moore]

Me totally nothing that's new.

[Reno Sweeney]

Yet I.

[Victor Moore]

Get a trip out of you I get a kiss every time I see her standing there before me I get a kick though it's clear to me you are the sweet girl.

[Reno Sweeney]

As I.

[Victor Moore]

Sing this refrain.

[Reno Sweeney]

And the no Mr.

[Victor Moore]

Cold Water Road gives me totally nothing that's yet I get a kiss out of you.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, how can you tell a girl who's that way about you that you're in love with someone else? You can't. Yet you do the best you can. And if the gal's a pal like Reno, she understands. Just as I was about to kiss Reno goodbye, a man dressed in the clothes of a minister stepped directly in between us. He looked and talked suspiciously like a fellow I knew named Victor Moore. As he looked up timidly at Reno and me and said.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Would you folks mind if I just stood between you for a few minutes? Say about 30?

[Reno Sweeney]

Watch it, Billy.

[Gordon McRae]

Hey, Reverend, I was just about to kiss Ms. Sweeney goodbye.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, go right ahead. I want one.

[Reno Sweeney]

But, Reverend, you're standing between us.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, I Don't like grass. I'm supposed to meet a pal by the gang plank here. He's coming aboard with 50 grand. I have 50,000.

[Gordon McRae]

You mean $50,000?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Yeah, for missionary work in Africa. Little pygmies.

[Reno Sweeney]

Say, how do you get to be a little pygmy?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, the first thing is, don't grow.

[Gordon McRae]

Reverend, pardon me, but your suitcase.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Huh?

[Gordon McRae]

It's open. And I may be wrong, but isn't that a machine gun nestling among your socks?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, I must have that catch fixed. My gang, my parish, gave me that gun as a going away present for wild tigers and things.

[Victor Moore]

Fall ashore.

[Supporting Character]

Let's go on ashore.

[Reno Sweeney]

Reverend, you better look for that pal of yours with a 50 grand.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Yeah, I suppose so. But it was certainly nice and cozy here between. Between you.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, feel free to drop in anytime, Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Yeah, and you do the same in my cabin. It's B1. I hope he makes a vote because I just hate to travel alone.

[Supporting Character]

All ashore that's going ashore. All ashore that's going ashore.

[Reno Sweeney]

Billy, take the next boat over.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, we know there's. There's hope.

[Reno Sweeney]

There is?

[Gordon McRae]

I mean, Hope Smith. Oh, and then there's my job.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, I thought you said you were fired again.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, I was, but EJ Said he would hire me back if I found out who controls Bailey's Incorporated. He wants to buy it for $3 million.

[Reno Sweeney]

You've got a hunt for a guy you want to pay 3 million bucks to. Why?

[Gordon McRae]

Well, it's sort of high finance. Somebody holds a stock that controls the holding company that controls the holding company that controls the holding company that controls Bailey's Incorporated.

[Reno Sweeney]

I'm sorry I asked. I never got past that first holding company, and neither will you.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, yes, I will, Reno.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, okay, Billy. You better kiss me goodbye.

[Gordon McRae]

Reno. Reno, look going in that door.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, Billy, what's the matter?

[Gordon McRae]

It was Hope, the girl in the elevator. The girl I'm looking for.

[Announcer]

Last call.

[Victor Moore]

All ashore. All ashore.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Last call.

[Reno Sweeney]

Billy, you've got to get off the boat.

[Gordon McRae]

I can't lose her now that I've found her.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, Billy, you're out of your mind. You haven't got a ticket or a passport or clothes or anything. And what about your job?

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, to heck with the job. To heck with everything I'm sailing.

[Reno Sweeney]

That won't go with your boss.

[Gordon McRae]

Boss or no boss, when you're in love, anything goes. In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking now.

[Supporting Character]

Heaven knows anything goes Good authors do.

[Gordon McRae]

Who wants to better words? Now Only used for letter words writing.

[Supporting Character]

Prose Anything goes the world has gone.

[Gordon McRae]

Mad today and good's bad today and black's white today and day's night today when most guys today that women prize today are just silly to galos so though I'm not a great romancer I know that you're bound to answer when.

[Supporting Character]

I propose why anything goes why, sure.

[Gordon McRae]

You know, Reno, way back in the days of mom and Pop.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, I know what you're going to say. That anything went from soup to bebop.

[Victor Moore]

Songwriting used to be so lyrical. Now it just sounds satirical with that let anything go the world has gone Mac with games Looks bad today Black's white today Day black today on skies today when the price today the silly Romeo so though I'm not a great.

[Reno Sweeney]

Romancer I know that you're bound to.

[Victor Moore]

Answer when I propose it's legacy that practically anything goes.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, the boat has sailed. And there I was en route to England, standing alone on deck at 2 in the morning, without ticket, without passport. Over an hour before, I had sent a note to Hope asking her to meet me up on deck right away. And just as I was about to give up hope, I heard the patter of tiny feet.

[Hope Smith]

Billy. Oh, Billy, I just got your note.

[Gordon McRae]

Hope. Oh, at last I found you. Ever since that night in the elevator I searched for you. I must have phoned over a million Smiths. I got nickel happy.

[Hope Smith]

But, Billy, I didn't give you my telephone number for a reason.

[Gordon McRae]

Reason? What reason? Our souls touch between the sixth and seventh floors of the Ritz Plaza Hotel.

[Hope Smith]

Oh, but there are reasons.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Very good.

[Reno Sweeney]

Good ones.

[Hope Smith]

I'm sailing with my mother and Sir Evelyn Oakley, my fiance.

[Gordon McRae]

You're what?

[Hope Smith]

We're going to be married in England, Billy.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, now, darling, you can stop all this nonsense about a fiance and marriage right now.

[Hope Smith]

It's not nonsense. Family, business, money. You can't know how important my marrying Evelyn is.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, you. You forgot about it one night in an elevator, and you're going to forget it again. Because tonight we've got a moon. A very beautiful moon.

[Hope Smith]

This is so silly and hopeless. Why, I don't even know the first thing about you.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, yes, you do. The first thing about me is that I love you. Why, you've been with me every night since the first night I saw you.

[Supporting Character]

All through the night I delight in your love all through the night you're so close to me all through the night From a height far above.

[Victor Moore]

You.

[Supporting Character]

And your love bring me excellence the.

[Victor Moore]

Sea.

[Supporting Character]

When dawn comes to awaken me you're never there at all I know you forsaken me Till the shadows fall but then once again I can dream I've the right to be close to you all through the night.

[Gordon McRae]

Billy.

[Hope Smith]

Billy, darling.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, kiss me, sweetheart. It's even better than I dreamed.

[Hope Smith]

But a dream is all that can ever be between us, Billy. Now I must go with that moon.

[Gordon McRae]

Shining down on us like that. Oh, Hope, you can't.

[Hope Smith]

Well, if I stop to think twice.

[Gordon McRae]

Don't think twice. Think once.

[Hope Smith]

Then I'll stay.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, darling.

[Supporting Character]

And then once again Will I know I was right.

[Victor Moore]

Stay.

[Supporting Character]

So close to.

[Victor Moore]

You to be so close to you Lord we'll be back with Anything Goes.

[Announcer]

In just a moment.

[Gordon McRae]

You are listening to Same Time, same Station, the best of Old Time Radio, and I'm your host, Jerry Hendigas.

[Announcer]

And now back to Anything goes and Gordon McRae as Billy Crocker.

[Gordon McRae]

All through the night with Hope by myself, I didn't worry at all. But in the cold, gray light of dawn, I remembered that I had no money, no clothes, no ticket and no passport. I also remembered the Reverend Moon. So I dashed below and burst into the reverend's stateroom.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

All right, now, don't shoot. Don't shoot. I'll come quietly.

[Gordon McRae]

Why, what's the matter, Reverend?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, it's you. I was expecting someone else.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, you said I could use your cabin if your pal didn't show up, and.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, I'm awfully glad to see you. He didn't show up, and I've been very, very lonesome.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, I don't know how long I'll be here, Reverend. I haven't a ticket or anything.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, I can fix that up for you. Here's my pal's ticket. And here. Here's his passport.

[Gordon McRae]

That's big of you, Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, I am big in a small way. What's the matter? Anything wrong with the passport?

[Gordon McRae]

Well, Reverend, I don't mind posing as James Hill, but this picture.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, yeah. Well, we can give you that scar with a knife. I can broaden out your nose if you just let me jump on it once.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

You try.

[Gordon McRae]

Now, listen, if anybody's gonna jump on my nose, I'll do it myself. Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, I have a little confession to make to you. I'm. I'm not a reverend.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, don't worry. Maybe you'll be promoted next year. Now, let's see. The first thing I have to have is something to wear besides this tuxedo.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Now, you don't understand. This may be a shock to you. But I'm Moonpace McGee.

[Gordon McRae]

Your face is fine with me. Reverend, where could I get a suit?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Just a minute. I'm a crook. I'm public enemy number 13. Of course, it's just a temporary rating. That Washington crowd has got it in for me. I should at least be number nine or, well, 10 or 11, maybe.

[Gordon McRae]

Reverend, please, I've. I've got a lot on my mind.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Are you listening to me? Or I'll blow your head off.

[Gordon McRae]

Huh? What? Hey, Reverend, don't point that machine gun.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

I guess you'll believe I'm Moonface McGee now. This is my old friend Putt Putt, Putt.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, Putt, Putt, putt it down. You're my pal. I wouldn't give you away, Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, just call me Doc. Okay, Doc, don't be afraid. I got Putt, Putt, Putt right here in my hand. Come in.

[Reno Sweeney]

Say, what's going.

[Supporting Character]

Wow.

[Reno Sweeney]

Lay that machine gun down, Reverend Reno.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

You might as well know I'm Moonface McGee. I'm a very dangerous man.

[Reno Sweeney]

All right, see, you're dangerous. What gives, Billy?

[Gordon McRae]

Well, number one, I've got to get some clothes so I can get up on deck and see Hope.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, that's easy. Swipe yourself a sailor suit. There's a dozen of them hanging out in the poop deck. At least, I think. I mean, poop deck.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Say, I think I could use you in my line of business.

[Gordon McRae]

You always come through, Reno.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Let's see, Billy. I'd say you take about a size 40. I'll be back in a couple of minutes.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, Doc, you're a saint.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Don't say that to Public Enemy 13. It's subversive.

[Reno Sweeney]

Billy, what goes with Hope?

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, it's not so good, Reno. She's going to England to marry one Sir Evelyn Oakley.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, that must be Mr. All teeth and no Chin. I just met up on deck. Would it help any if I sort of got next to him? Bill?

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, would it help? Oh, what a pal you are. Gee, I. I don't know how to tell you, Reno.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, don't try it, Billy. Let me add words poetic. You're so pathetic that you always have found it best. Instead of getting them off your chest, you let them rest on express.

[Gordon McRae]

I hate parading my serenading as I'll probably miss a bar.

[Supporting Character]

But if this ditty is not so pretty at least let me tell you how great you are.

[Gordon McRae]

You're the top. You're the Coliseum. You're the top.

[Supporting Character]

You're the Louvre museum.

[Gordon McRae]

You're a melody From a symphony by Strauss. You're an ascot bonnet, a Shakespeare son.

[Supporting Character]

Of your Blanding's house. No. You're the Nile, you're the Tara Pisa. You're the smile of the Mona Lisa.

[Gordon McRae]

I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop.

[Supporting Character]

But if baby, I'm the bottom. You're the top.

[Victor Moore]

You're the top.

[Reno Sweeney]

You're expensive candy. You're the top. You're Napoleon brandy. You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain. You're the national gallery. You're Crosby sour your cellophane. You're sublime. You're a turkey dinner. You're the time of the derby winner. I'm a toy balloon that has faded soon to pop. But if baby, on the bottom.

[Victor Moore]

You're the top. You're the top. You're a walldark salad. You're the top. You're a burling salad.

[Gordon McRae]

I'm just in the way. As if friends would say to drop.

[Supporting Character]

So I still feel.

[Victor Moore]

I still feel I'm the bottom.

[Gordon McRae]

You're. While Reno and I were busy patting each other on the back, the Reverend Moon had raided the clothesline and came back carrying a sailor suit over his arm.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Believe the only one I could get my hands on was size 48. But maybe it'll give you a sort of a full draped effect. Boneface, I could kiss you right here in front of Ms. Sweeney.

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, Billy, you're gonna look cute in a sailor suit. Try it on.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, I don't care how I look. Just so I can talk to Hope.

[Reno Sweeney]

What's happening?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

I've been afraid of this. We may have to shoot our way out of here. I got putt, putt, putt already.

[Gordon McRae]

Doc, put down that gun.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

All right, hands up, Snake Eyes. We've got you covered.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Hello, Captain.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Oh, Reverend, good work. I see you got hold of his machine gun and got him covered.

[Reno Sweeney]

Captain, what's going on here?

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

That man you thought was a friend, Ms. Sweeney, is none other than public enemy number one.

[Gordon McRae]

But this is ridiculous.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Aren't you traveling on a passport made out to one James Hill?

[Gordon McRae]

Yes.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Well, I just received a radiogram from Washington informing me that James Hill is just an alias for Snake Eyes Johnson. All right, men, take him to the brig.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Now, just a minute, Captain.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Yes, Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

There's good in every man, even Snake Eyes Johnson. What would putting him in the brig do but keep him from seeing hope? I mean, having hope. I mean.

[Reno Sweeney]

Keep working, Doc.

[Gordon McRae]

I'm with you, Moonface. I love you.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

It'll be a sacrifice, Captain, but for the rest of the trip, I'd like you to hand over his snake eyes to me. And maybe by the time we get to London, he'll be the kind of a man I am.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, hallelujah.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Well, this would be highly irregular.

[Gordon McRae]

I feel like a better man already, Captain.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, there you are. There's good in everybody. Just like there's sin in everybody. Are you without sin, Captain? Well, now that you mention it, We've all got sin. But we can cast it out. I'm gonna search your hearts, folks.

[Gordon McRae]

You tell em, Reno.

[Reno Sweeney]

Do you hear that playing?

[Gordon McRae]

Yes, I hear that playing.

[Reno Sweeney]

Do you know who's playing?

[Supporting Character]

No.

[Gordon McRae]

Who is that playing?

[Reno Sweeney]

Why, it's Gabriel, Gabriel playing.

[Victor Moore]

Gabriel, Gabriel playing Gabriel, Gabriel saying Gabriel, Gabriel saying Will you be ready to go and blow my heart?

[Reno Sweeney]

Blow, Gabriel, blow. Go on and blow, Gabriel, blow. I've been a sinner, I've been a scam but now I'm willing to trim my lamb. Blow, Gabriel, blow.

[Victor Moore]

I was low, Gabriel lo that's mighty low, Gabriel, blow.

[Reno Sweeney]

But now since I've seen the light I'm good by day and I'm good by night Gabriel, once I was headed.

[Victor Moore]

Below Once he was headed below.

[Reno Sweeney]

But when I got to Satan's door I heard you blowing on your horn once more. So I said, Satan, farewell.

[Victor Moore]

And now I'm all ready to fly. Yet to fly higher and higher and higher.

[Reno Sweeney]

Cause I've gone through the brimstone and I've been through the fire. And I purge my soul and my heart too Is to climb up the mountaintop and start to flow, Gabriel.

[Victor Moore]

And start to flow. Go on and blow, Gabriel, Blow, Gabriel, flow.

[Reno Sweeney]

I want to join your happy band.

[Victor Moore]

And sway all day in the promised land. To blow, Gabriel Bl.

[Gordon McRae]

Get up, you scamps. Get up your sinners. You're all too full of expensive dinners. Stand up on your lazy feet and sing.

[Victor Moore]

Come on and blow, Gabriel, blow. Go on and blow, Gabriel, blow.

[Gordon McRae]

I've been a sinner, I've been a scamp but now I'm willing to dip.

[Supporting Character]

My lamps on Blow, Gabriel, blow.

[Victor Moore]

And now we're all ready to fly yes, to fly Higher and higher and higher.

[Supporting Character]

Cause I've gone through the brimstone and I've been through the fire. And I've purged my soul and my heart too. So climb up the mountaintop and start to glow Gabriel, blow.

[Victor Moore]

Gabriel, blow. Now I just want to join your.

[Reno Sweeney]

Happy friends in the promised land.

[Victor Moore]

So blow, Gabriel, Gabriel.

[Gordon McRae]

I was sure that everybody would give me the cold shoulder when they thought I was Snake Eyes Johnson and public enemy number one. Instead, the girls flocked around me up on deck like bees around honey.

[Reno Sweeney]

Mr. Johnson, may I have your autograph?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Mr. Johnson, you kiss me.

[Reno Sweeney]

Please, honey, take your place in line.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

There's no waiting over here in line.

[Hope Smith]

Tell us about your early life, Mr. Johnson.

[Gordon McRae]

I was just beginning to enjoy myself and getting all set to tell him I was born with a silver gat in my mouth when I looked up. And there standing before me was my sweetheart, Hope, and her charming fiance, Sir Evelyn Oakley.

[Supporting Character]

I say, Hope, what is going on?

[Hope Smith]

Nothing of importance, Evelyn. Let's get out of here.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Hope clamor belly.

[Gordon McRae]

No, wait a minute, Hope. I'm not public enemy number 1, 2, 3 or 4. I'm just Billy Crocker out of a job, out of money, out of everything. But nothing matters so long as I get the girl I love.

[Hope Smith]

Oh, but that's impossible, Billy.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Man, throw this imposter in the brig.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Wait a minute. Wait just a minute.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Yes, Reverend.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

You want a real public enemy, Captain, I can help you out.

[Supporting Character]

You?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, yes. I'm not a reverend at all. I'm Moonface McGee.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

And who is that?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

You haven't heard of Moonface McGee? Why, I'm public enemy number 13. I'd be much higher if it weren't for that crowd in Washington. So if any of you girls would like to kiss me or cut off a button or two for a souvenir, well, here I am. Don't be bashful, anybody.

[Sir Evelyn Oakley]

Men, throw both these bums in the brig.

[Gordon McRae]

Don't worry, Hope, darling. I'm not gonna give up yet. I'll find some way to get out. And what's more, I'll find some way to stop your marriage to Sir Evelyn, too.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, too late for that old thing. Our train leaves 20 minutes after we dock.

[Gordon McRae]

Your train?

[Hope Smith]

That's right, darling.

[Gordon McRae]

But it isn't right, darling. It isn't right at all.

[Supporting Character]

Cause you get no kick in a train. Planning to marry sometime, Dick or Harry, and carry the torch your life through? Cause I get a kick out of you.

[Announcer]

We'll return to Anything Goes in just a moment after a brief pause for station identification. And here again is Gordon MacRae in the character of Billy Crocker.

[Gordon McRae]

For four days, Moon and I sat on the brig together. I knew we must be in England, but nobody came to tell us. And Moon spent most of his time trying to peek out the tiny porthole. Suddenly his voice held a small ray of hope.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

We're in England, all right. Somebody lifted the frog, and I Can see a teeny weeny piece of the dock.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, you better make it a good look. That's about all we'll ever get to see of England on this trip.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Billy, cheer up. Maybe we're looking on the dark side too much.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, Doc, the only thing that can help me is seeing Hope. The note she sent me is breaking my heart.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Now, Billy, don't read that note again. You know I cry easy, but I've.

[Gordon McRae]

Got to read it. Listen, darling Billy, I. I understand everything, but nothing can be done.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, Billy, please.

[Gordon McRae]

I love you, but I'm marrying Sir Evelyn. Forget about me, but always love me.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

I told you not to read that again.

[Gordon McRae]

I gotta get out of here, Doc. Somehow, someway, I've got to get to Hope. What's that?

[Supporting Character]

I go right this way, Ms. Sweeney.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, thank you, God. Hello, boys. Here's the first cake I ever baked to cheer you up on your way back to New York.

[Gordon McRae]

What do we want a cake for at a time like this?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Yeah. Well, for what flavor is it?

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, it's. It's pistachio.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Ah, that's one flavor I can't stand.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, it's not exactly pistachio. It's more comma meringue orange. Take the cake.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

It looks terrible. What's that big lump in the center?

[Reno Sweeney]

Take the cake.

[Gordon McRae]

We don't want that mouth eating piece of pastry.

[Reno Sweeney]

Nah, take the cake.

[Supporting Character]

Your time is up, Ms. Sweeney. And I guess you ain't sorry, huh?

[Reno Sweeney]

Oh, they're just a little stir crazy, that's all. Maybe it'll help if I sing them an old song.

[Gordon McRae]

We don't want to hear any old songs.

[Reno Sweeney]

Well, you're going to hear this one. It goes. Take the cake. There's a file right in it. Take the cake. You'll be out in a minute.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, you're quite a Damon. You'll win your fame on earth as a gorgeous spy in the FBI.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Eleven words.

[Gordon McRae]

All the time Moon and I were trying to file our way out of the prig. I was picturing Hope in that buck tooth fiance of hers. Sir Evelyn, smug and serene in his feudal English castle, getting ready for their marriage ceremony.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, dear, dear. Well, hope, old girl, now you've seen Oakley Manor, and in an hour you'll be the mistress of it.

[Hope Smith]

I know, Evelyn.

[Supporting Character]

Frankly, I couldn't be unhappier.

[Hope Smith]

Neither could I. Oh, you see, old.

[Supporting Character]

Dear, I met a gal on board ship named Reno. We spent a good deal of time in a lifeboat together.

[Hope Smith]

Well, that's all right, Evelyn. You see, there was A boy on board ship, too. His name was Billy.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, fortunate we all didn't head with the same lifeboat.

[Reno Sweeney]

What?

[Supporting Character]

But.

[Hope Smith]

Yes, I guess.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, what's the matter?

[Hope Smith]

Oh, that face at the French door.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Oh, it's just me. Come on, kids. It's all right.

[Victor Moore]

Oh, Billy.

[Gordon McRae]

Hope, darling.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

And Reno.

[Reno Sweeney]

Evie, I've missed you. And all those lovely teas.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Isn't there anybody for me?

[Gordon McRae]

I've got news for you, Evie. You're not marrying Hope.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, fine with me, old boy. Impossible, I'm afraid. My pater and Hope he's mater are working on the deal right now.

[Gordon McRae]

Deal? What kind of deal?

[Supporting Character]

Well, you see, my pater controls Grayson's Limited. And when I marry Hope, he also gets control of Bailey's Incorporated.

[Gordon McRae]

Baileys Incorporated? Hope, what have you got to do with Bailey's?

[Hope Smith]

My father left me stock that controls the holding company that controls the holding company that controls the holding company that controls Bailey's.

[Gordon McRae]

You Hope? Hope, darling, you're the one I've been looking for.

[Hope Smith]

Billy, I know you love me, but evelyn's father's paying $50,000 for that stock.

[Gordon McRae]

$50,000? Look, do you know what I've got right here in my pocket? Right here? I have a contract from Kidney. Kidney? Kidney. And I hope someday Crocker offering $3 million for that stock. Oh.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, I say, isn't this jolly? Now you don't have to marry me, Hope. Oh, Reno.

[Reno Sweeney]

Is there something bothering you, Evie?

[Supporting Character]

Oh, dear. Would you consider becoming Lady Oakley?

[Reno Sweeney]

Would I? I'm just sorry my old man isn't here. He said I'd never be a lady, but I made it.

[Supporting Character]

Well, you know, we might spend the honeymoon in the lifeboat.

[Hope Smith]

What?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

This is all peachy, but I'm wondering if I could use the same hideout you're going to, Billy. I get awfully lonesome.

[Gordon McRae]

Hideout?

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Well, you're in England without a passport, and by now I'm probably way up on the list of public enemies. I've been working awful hard.

[Hope Smith]

Well, I don't understand it. I cabled the State Department about you both this morning, but I haven't got an answer.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, dear. Possibly that's what this wireless for you is, Hope. I thought it might be congratulatory, and I didn't want to depress you.

[Gordon McRae]

Here, I'll read it, Evelyn. Yep, here it is. Temporary passport granted. William Crocker.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Anything about me, Roy?

[Gordon McRae]

Yeah, yeah, there's something about you, too, Doc.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Pretty bad, huh? Well, go ahead and read it to me.

[Gordon McRae]

It says Moonface McGee off Public Enemy lists. Entirely not wanted anywhere. Absolutely harmless.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

Let me say that I just don't understand this administration.

[Gordon McRae]

Well, don't worry, Doc. Hope and I want you to be best man at our wedding.

[Supporting Character]

Oh, might as well make it a double wedding.

[Reverend Moonface McGee]

What? Well, fine. I'll bring putt, putt, putt and make it a double barrel machine gun wedding.

[Gordon McRae]

Oh, Hope, darling, we're gonna be so happy.

[Supporting Character]

And then once again, will I know I was right.

[Victor Moore]

Stay so close to you to be so close to you.

[Gordon McRae]

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, this is Gordon McRae giving a special vote of thanks to our two guests stars this evening, Ms. Margaret Whiting and Mr. Victor Moore. And to the other members of tonight's cast for their fine performances in our production of Anything Goes, which was adapted for radio by Don Ettlinger. Next week our star studded show train will arrive in the same tracks at the same time. On board will be the metropolitan opera star, Ms. Reza Stevens, Mr. Fortunio Bonanova. And we have also invited Mr. Adolph Monju to join me in bringing you the famous Jerome Kern operetta the Cat and the Fiddle, with our chorus under the direction of Norman Luboff and the music arranged and conducted by Carmen Dragon. Well, it looks as though we're ready to pull out, so until next week, goodbye. And friends, remember, during the coming week, as always, the American railroads will provide for you the dependable low cost transportation which is so essential to the American way of living.

[Announcer]

Anything Goes has been presented by special arrangements with Tam's Whitmark Music Library. Gordon McCrae appeared on this program by arrangement with Warner Brothers. This is Marvin Miller speaking. The Railroad Hour is brought to you each week at this time by the association of American Railroads.

[Gordon McRae]

This is abc, the American Broadcasting Company.