
Ranch House Jim 1943.xx.xx New School Marm
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Wagon rolls along and today if dragons sing a song you've gotta sing for your little dick. You can't sing. Whistle at the old chuck wagon won't belong. Oh you hungry waddy Hurry on for the range cook says it won't belong if you don't come and get it baby you'll regret it as the old chuck wagon go Ranch house Pancakes come and get em. Howdy Wies. This is Ranch House Jim saying welcome for the makers of ready mixed Ranch House Pancake Flour, the new and different recipe that makes real western style pancakes and waffles like it's a Colorado cloud. Now first we're around the songs and stories. Then later you'll hear our thriller of the week, our rip roaring adventure of the West. So keep tuned in. Come on boys. Before we taste of the festive board we've got to earn our kids keep by singing Just me and my old cow bony a riding along we're herding and driving the cattle. Just me and my old cowbony we're happy as can be. Riding to the rhythm of the saddle a riding to the rhythm of the sad singing an old cowboy song. You can bet your boots will be where a man is always free. Riding to the rhythm of the saddle. Just me and my old cowpony are riding along. We herded the go gees and cattle and now we're heading home along that old dusty trail. Riding to the rhythm of the saddle a riding to the rhythm of the saddle Singing an old cowboy song. You can bet your boots will be where a man is always free. Riding to the rhythm of the sad ranch house Pancakes are fluffy and light that's what makes em a super delight. Folks are shouting their praises aloud. They're light light light light Light as a piecey Colorado cloud. What is it's just plain natural to sing and shout about western style pancakes made with new and different ranch house pancake flourishes. Young Catherine Bower of Albion, Indiana knows how it is because she wrote and said we've tried ranch house pancake flour. And now I don't blame you cowboys for hollering and hooraying about your pancakes. They're really wonderful. You see there, pals? There's never been anything like this Ranch House pancake flour before. It's the only pancake mix with a secret blend that gives you that zesty, true western flavor and makes pancakes light as a fleecy Colorado cloud. And they're so easy to fix, too. You just add milk or water and put them on the griddle. So ask mom to get ranch house pancake flour today, won't you? I'd sure appreciate it. And tell her it's guaranteed by your friend Ranch House Jim to make the lightest, fluffiest, best tasting pancakes and waffles too, that you ever ate, bar none. If it don't, just send me the box top and I'll pay you back the price of the whole box. Say, Fireball? Yes, Ms. Jim. I tell you, me and the boys are happy if you'd sing another one of those spirituals that our friends like so much. All right, boys, start me off on the old locks a mover the old ox A mover and a mover and a mover and the old locks a mover and I'm a going home the old arm mover and I'm over and I'm over and the old arm mover and I'm a going home how many days did the water fall? 40 days and nights and all the old armor and a mover in a mover and the old arcs are moving and I'm a going home the old armor in a mover in a mover and the old arm a going home Old man Moore built his half an art Started it afloatin when the days was dark the old arm the mover and the the old larks are movering and I'm a going home the old larks are mover in a mover and a mover in the old larks a mover in and I'm going home the animals came in two by two first the hippopotamus and then the kangaroo the old armor and a boober and a boomerang the old larks a boomerang and I'm a going home the old larks a boober and a boober and a booper and the old larks a boomer and I'm a going home See that sister dressed so fine she ain't got Jesus on her mind Old lark's a mover and a mover and a mover and the old larks a mover and then I'm going home. The old larks a mover and a mover and a mover and the old larks a mover and I'm going home. See that brother dress so gay Death gonna come and I carry him away. The old larks a mover and a mover and a mover and the old larks are mover and I'm a going home. The old larks a mover and a mover and a mover and the old arcs a mover in and I'm a going home. The old arc's the mover and I'm over and I'm over and the old arcs a mover in and I'm go home. Your larks are moving and mover in a mover in. Your larks are movering and I. Oh, Fireball, that was fine. You made it fine. Thanks, Ms. Jim. You know, Mr. Jim, it sure is pretty out here this time of year, ain't it? Makes me wish I was a porter. Right. Man, I sure would tell all about it in real pretty words. Well, Fireball, it is pretty out here. Now, I don't think that you have to be a poet to tell folks how it looks. Just say what's in your mind. I think they'll get the idea. Oh, no, no, Ms. Jim. I think I better leave that up to you. I just get myself all tied up around my eye teeth and wouldn't be able to see what I was saying. Well, Farval, I don't know about that. You see, everything has something about it hard to understand. You see, you hear the whine of the coyote from way up on some high ridge. Now why does he point his nose up at the sky? Why climb to that high ridge? Why do the buzzards circle slow like and lazily in the sky? Why is the sky clear in many places yet many others have a streak of red across it as though some angry painter had tried to ruin his masterpiece with one stroke of his brush? Well, I don't know, friends. I think you can safely say it's just touch of God's hands. The PR sun sends down its ray to warm my heart through every day. The starlight be that guides my way is just the touch of God's hand. Yes, in the early morning when the dew is on the sage and the clean smell of the air. You look off at the snow capped mountains with their sides all covered with pine trees like a fur coat across the valley floor. That's Blanketed by the growing blooming wildflowers. The cool, running rivers and deep, clear pools. The round, strong bowl of the barrel cactus that holds water enough for a wanderer that's lost his way. High buffalo grass that grows all over the range as live food for cattle. The fertile plains that are turned into producing forms. The sifting, changing sands of the desert. The rock formations that have formed over many years. The layers of multicolored rock on the face of a cliff. The rains that fall to cool the heat. The light footfall of padded feet. And the keen instinct of the female deer. She teaches her fawn the ways of the wood. The silver spray of the falls as they plunge to the rocks below. The rainbow hues that seem to crown the blue of the hills. The deep purple of the sage flower. Yes, I think to be honest, you have to say this land of ours was made by the touch of God's hand. The scatter of morning dew. The rainbow is just the touch of God's hand. Women, Sometimes I think you as two different men. Why you runs this here ranch with all this troubles, yet you has time to notice all them things? When does you have time to see them all? Well, Barbell, I guess you just notice them from time to time. You don't have to take any special time to see them. Yes, I know. Sometimes I get to lookin and then I think how much work it must have been to build all that. Then I gets upset. You know how that word work affects me. Yes. I'm afraid that you and work were never meant to be pushing buddies. Come on, man, let's sing another song. We've a long way to go. Tell me why are you so slow? Move along, lazy cattle move along and you're not coming back It's a sh. But it's a fact. Move along, lazy cattle move along this is the last trail you travel over Fill up on Satan clover Move on, you prairie rover move on and when you're all shaken stew together I'll still be pounding leather Move on, you cattle move along this is the last trail you travel over on Sage and clover Move on, you prairie rover move on and when you're all steak and stew together I'll still be pounding leather Move on, you cattle, move along now you see there? See there, Miss Jim? I ain't the only one that's lazy. That song done said them cows was lazy. I don't feel so bad now. All right, Fireball. You win. You win. You know, friends, even a lazy man like Fireball can enjoy pancakes made from ranch house pancake flour. Because they're so easy to fix. You know what is the west is famous for? Wonderful pancakes. Folks from all over the country have traveled out here to the west to enjoy it. But now, now with new and different ranch house pancake flour, you can enjoy real western style pancakes right at home. So tell you what you do. You ask mom to get ranch house pancake flour today in the red and yellow box with my picture on the front. Will you do that? Thanks a heat, watties. Well, fellas, looks like we got a little more time before I tell my story so well, how about another song at the old bar? I remember long ago when we met around that old side of the old barn dance we would swing them do sido to the strains of an old time quadrille Although years have passed away it seems only yesterday that you showed my heart the way to romance and I bless each hour for the sweet unfading flower that I met at the old barn dance Although years have passed away Seems only yesterday that you showed my heart the way to romance and I bless each hour for the sweet and plating flower that I met at the old barn den. Well, what is. You know, I've always held that in order to start off the day with a spring in your step, you've got to eat a good nourishing breakfast. So I felt mighty pleased to hear how the Rassniks down near Dayton, Ohio, got over their habit of going without breakfast. Young Dolores Rasnick wrote and said we wouldn't dream of missing breakfast. Now, since we found out about Ranch house Pancakes, we have them with maple syrup or with honey or jelly. And they're super duper delicious. You bet you they are, Dolores. And so light and fluffy you'd swear a Colorado crowd got mixed in the recipe. That's the biggest, big reasons folks all go for pancakes made with new and different Ranch House pancake wrappers. And remember, Ranch House is the only pancake mix with a secret blend that gives you that zesty, true western flavor. So friends, ask mom to get some at her grocer's today, won't ye? I'd be powerful pleased if you'd try it. And I guarantee the whole family will be delighted. Yes, sir, if ranch house pancake flour don't make the life fluffiest, best tasting pancakes you ever ate, bar none. Just send me the box top and I'll pay you back the price of the whole box. Well, what is. Like I told you last week, today's story is all about a mighty Exciting experience that Pedro and me had one time. And it also concerns a gap of me. I'm plumb scared of anything that wears skirts. Lesson she's over 70 or under 7 and this gal was somewhere in between. But closer to the 7 than the 70. Well, I'd been to Albuquerque for a couple of days. And when I got off with the train at Navajo Sinks, I had to take Lake Whitaker states for the 40 odd miles from the Saint Lake's verdict. As I walked up to Old Lake stagecoach, I could see that the old man was talking to a younger. Howdy, ma'. Am. Reckon your Ms. Caldwell ain't you.
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That's right. And you're Mr. Whitaker.
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Howdy. Leif. Say, you got room for a poor pilgrim in that flea bit rattle trap you call the stage. Always room for one more, Jim. Ms. Caldwell, shake your hands and ranch out. Jim. Jim, this is Ms. Mary Caldwell. It's new school mom over at the Royal Seiko. Well, howdy ma'. Am.
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I'm very pleased to meet you.
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Well, it looks like you two are the only passengers of God today. Reckon we better get ready to shake, rattle and roll. Well, I'll ride on talk with you. No, no, no. You can do no such thing. Jim, I ain't got no room besides you to be alone tonight. Ms. Cargill, she ain't got nobody to talk to.
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You live on a ranch?
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Yes.
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Is it a big ranch?
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No.
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Have you lived out here all your. This is the first time I've ever been out west. My home's in Michigan. Have you ever been in Michigan?
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No.
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I've read so many books and seen so many movies about the west. You're the first cowboy I've ever really known.
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Yes. Marty Cornelli boy. All right, get your hands high. Driver, keep my lure inside. Get out. Don't stand up in pulleys.
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That's a whole lot. What should we do?
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Like the man says, he's got the gun. You two hunts himself. I reckon we are. Bring a can. You want it out here? Keep your hands here, Pad. Get it. Lady, I'll trouble you for that purse.
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Yes, sir.
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That's your right pretty. What you win?
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Well, it's not worth anything. It was my grandmother's. Please don't take it.
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I got three men covering you up the river off yonder. So don't give no notions about using that Winchester up there in the seat. You got orders to keep you covered no matter age. Adios, amigos. We just gotta get a man.
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Aren't you going to do something?
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Ain't much we can do, ma', am, these days. Not for a little bit. Maybe he's lying about them men of his men. And then again, maybe he ain't.
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You just stood there and let him take your money in my handbag and watch. I thought western men were brave. But you, you're nothing but a coward. I wish I were a man. I.
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Miss Calvary, if you was a man right now, you'd be dead. And that gent with the black mask wasn't talking just to hear himself make conversation. Senor Jim. You see the senorita call you a coward? She didn't skip it, Pedro. I'm gonna get that watch of hers back if it takes me to nattle who laid the chunk. Well, these older mans, you, you do not know who he is? I never seen him nor his horse before, Pedro. He had a mask on. But if I ever bumped into him, I'll know him by his voice. I never heard such a low voice, Ms. Jim. Did he sound like a big old grizzly bear growling? No, I reckon you might say so far from Ms. Jim. When I was in town getting supplies last week, there was two men in Mr. Cooper's stove. And one of them had the deepest voice I ever did. Here. You know who he was? Pablo Nauson, Mr. Jim. But I hear the other man call him Blackie. Blackie? Pedro, if that ain't Blackie Stanton, I'm a sheep herd. Well, is the Senor Blackie Stanton? Not anything. Can't you? No. I hear they turn him loose a couple months ago. Probably back over in Placerville at this old hangout. Why do you not feeling, Sheriff? I'd be wasting my breath. Sheriff. Over at Placerville's as crooked as a dog's hind leg. Wouldn't surprise me none if Blackie waxed up with him. Jim, there is only one thing for you and me to do. Yeah, I was figuring on you saying that Pedro. He's probably got a gang with him. When Senor Angel's Jim and said they are together. Are they two not a gang? Set him up with the crowd. M. That's him, Peter. I'll cover him and keep you account on the rest of us. You say, don't you Here's a good baby. Break hearty. Keep your hands high. J. Just like you got them now. My partner's got a nervous trigger finger. Hey, what is this? A whole nothing? If it is, you're on the opposite end of where you usually are. Your name Blackie Stone? What if it is? I Just wanted to ask you a question. It's all about a hold up yesterday on the stage between Navajo Sink and Mesa Verdict. Why you asking me? I don't know nothing about it. Blackie, you can cover your face with a mask. That voice of yours is a dead giveaway. You took $32 from the lady and 87 from me. I want $119 back and the lady's watch. I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe so, maybe no. I just helped myself to your wallet. I told you to keep them high. Now, where's the lady's watch? I tell you, I don't know nothing about it. In five seconds, Blackie, I'm going to blow a hole. A great big hole right through your neck. One, two, Three. Okay, you may shit. Plug it. How you get it? Now, all you gents, my partner and me are backing out that door. Anybody tries to follow us is liable to get unhealthy fast. Come on, Pedro. Okay, let's go. Come on, stupid. Don't let him get away. Your team, they hate you. Just stick my arm. Don't worry, Pedro. They'll never catch us now. Mr. Jim, are you sure you're gonna be all right? Shucks, Fireball. That bullet didn't do no more than scratch the hide. You got it straight now, like I told you? Yes, sir. I used to take this box from Ms. Mary Caldwell at the Oreo Seiko school. That's right. Now, what did I tell you to tell her? You told me to tell her a gentleman asked me to bring it to her. And I ain't supposed to tell her that the gentleman is you, Mr. Jim. Yeah. And you make sure you don't tell her, neither. She don't know you and she don't know you work out here at the Lazy J. So she'll probably be between a hard spot and a rock trying to figure out where her money and her watch come. Excuse me, please, ma', am, is you. Wait, let me see what it say on the front. Hey. Oh. Is you Ms. Mary Calwell?
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Yes, that's my name.
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Thank you, ma'. Am. Ms. Jim, I mean, a gentleman asked me to give this to you.
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To me?
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Yes, ma'. Am?
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Why, it's $32. The amount I lost when we were held up.
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Yes.
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And my. What?
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Yes.
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Who was this gentleman who asked you to bring me this?
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You?
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Well, it was just Jim was his name. Ranch House Jim.
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Oh, Lord, is he gonna skin me alive for this. But my mama back in Alabama told me not to never tell no fear. Not even little ones. Yes, ma'. Am, it was Ms. Jim.
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Do you know where and how he got this money and my watch?
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Yes. He figured out that that hold up man was Mr. Blackie Stanton. So Mr. Jim, he just walked in on Mr. Blackie and his gang and he had to shoot about 25.
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Merciful heavens. Did he kill him?
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No, ma'. Am, he just fatally wounded him. So he said to Mr. Blackie, Lesson, you want the same as I give by 25 of your men? Just hand me over the money and that watch you stole for Miss Mary Caldwell.
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Ain't you feeling good, Miss Mary? I called him a coward.
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Yes. Excuse me for saying so, but that was why you stubbed your toe. Cause Ms. Jim wasn't scared. Not even when that bully.
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You mean he was wounded?
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Yes, ma'. Am. Old buddy's busted up his arm, but he ain't going to die.
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But he might have been killed. And he did it for me. I'll never forgive myself for saying what I did.
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Oh, don't you f. About that, Miss Mary.
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As soon as the afternoon session's over, I'm going out to his ranch. I'm going to tell him how sorry I am. I'm. I'm going to kiss him.
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Well, go ahead, Barbo. What did she say when she sold the money in the watch? Well, she. Ms. Jim, she said. She said, Senor Jim, you're very poorly. Senorita's coming up to the right house. Where Jute Ben June bugs hit that Mary Caldwell. Sure is, ain't it? Fireball. Did you tell her it was me? But where's Ms. Jim? It was this way. Did you or didn't you? Yes, I did. What did she say? Well, she said she's coming out here to tell you how sorry she is. And she also said she's going to kiss you. What? Y. I got to get out of here. Tell her I ain't here. Tell her I. I'm with the Africa. Oh, that's Senor J. I will go. Fireball. Bu. Seorita. I. I am Pedro. Will you please come in?
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Thank you. Al. I wanted to see Ranch House G. Jim.
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Oh, Crispy. How sad I am to be forced to say the good Senor Jimmy is not here.
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Oh. Do you know when he will be here?
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He say. He do not say, senorita.
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I see. Would you give him a message for me?
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Oh, Juan, mucho is much pleasure.
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Please tell him for me. Please tell him that Mary Caldro thinks he's the bravest man who ever lived. Thank you and goodbye.
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Is she gone yet? She has gone. The coast is clear. What in the cat hair have you fellas found it so funny? The senorita have asked me to tell you she think that you are the most brave man in the world. Would she say that if she see you running away from a penny cord? And that was about as close a shave as I ever had along them line, buddies. Yes, sir and yes ma'. Am. Like I said at the start of my story, I'm plumb scared of gals. Listen, they're over 70 or under 7. Or maybe I'm just better say I'm plum scared of cat. Well, pal, I guess you can see why they call this the wild and the woolly West. Where men or men. Yes, and being a real he man calls for real he man food. Like those energy giv muscle building pancakes made with new and different ranch house pancake wrappers. Now us cowboys have them every morning for breakfast and often for lunch and supper too. Maybe with ham or nippy cheese or with a sizzling fried egg. And as soon as you try ranch house pancakes, Watties, you'll know why we're so keen about them. Cause you'll find they're as light as a Colorado cloud. So keep fit and fed like me and the boys. And plenty of these scrum luscious, nourishing western style pancakes. Have mom get ready. Mix ranch house pancake flour today in the red and yellow box with my pitcher on the front. Well, next week, Watties, I'm gonna tell you about a time when I played like I was cute. That sounds funny, don't it? But it's a funny story. And I'm satisfied that you like like it and safe. Be sure to tell your moms to listen to old Ranch House Jim every Tuesday and Thursday.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Ranch House Jim and Company
Date of Broadcast: 1943 (Golden Age Radio Drama, original airdate unspecified)
Podcast Release: September 13, 2025
This episode of "Ranch House Jim," a classic western radio show, blends musical interludes, cowboy camaraderie, and a classic story from the Old West. The central drama, "New School Marm," follows Ranch House Jim as he navigates a stagecoach robbery while encountering a new schoolteacher, Mary Caldwell. The episode evokes a nostalgic Americana, complete with humor, folksy wisdom, and a hearty dose of pancake flour advertising.
“They’re light as a fleecy Colorado cloud!” — Ranch House Jim (02:11)
“Everything has something about it hard to understand... I think you can safely say it’s just the touch of God’s hand.” — Ranch House Jim (06:45)
“That song done said them cows was lazy. I don’t feel so bad now.” — Fireball (12:43)
"If you was a man right now, you'd be dead." — Jim (19:09)
“Would she say that if she seen you running away from a penny cord?” — Pedro, teasing Jim (26:47)
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------------| | 02:11 | “They’re light as a fleecy Colorado cloud!” | Ranch House Jim | | 06:45 | “Everything has something about it hard to understand... I think you can safely say it’s just the touch of God’s hand.” | Ranch House Jim | | 12:43 | “That song done said them cows was lazy. I don’t feel so bad now.” | Fireball | | 19:09 | “If you was a man right now, you'd be dead.” | Jim | | 24:57 | “As soon as the afternoon session’s over, I'm going out to his ranch. I'm going to tell him how sorry I am. I'm... I'm going to kiss him.” | Mary Caldwell | | 26:47 | “Would she say that if she see you running away from a penny cord?” | Pedro |
This episode of "Ranch House Jim" offers a warmly humorous look at the classic Western hero, balancing adventure, romance, and a memorable (if unsubtle) campaign for the world’s fluffiest pancakes. The radio play is a charming time capsule of mid-century American life, ideal for listeners nostalgic for the days of family radio hour.