Rays A Laugh 1949-11-22 The Fog Has Cleared - Tailcut

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Rays A Laugh 1949-11-22 The Fog Has Cleared - Tailcut
Release Date: May 23, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are treated to a delightful performance by the renowned comedian Ted Ray. Titled "The Fog Has Cleared - Tailcut", the show captures Ted Ray's signature humor as he shares a series of engaging anecdotes and witty observations from his personal and professional life. Interspersed with musical interludes, the episode evokes the nostalgic charm of the Golden Age of Radio, bringing laughter and warmth to the audience.

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Ted Ray's Comedy Performance

Opening Remarks and Personal Anecdotes (01:07 - 04:37)
Ted Ray kicks off his act with heartfelt gratitude, expressing his appreciation for the audience's applause:

"Thank you very much, boys and girls. I'm glad the fog's cleared at last." (01:10)

He recounts a challenging experience performing in a suburban theater engulfed in fog, humorously highlighting the difficulties of stage performances without visibility:

"It was so foggy I couldn't see the audience. But I gave my act just the same. Not a laugh, not a titter." (01:45)

Ted delves into the misconceptions about his profession, emphasizing the hard work behind his comedic success:

"Lots of people think being a comedian is dead easy. Oh, yes they do. Oh yes, they do." (02:30)

Sharing his journey, he humorously contrasts the depth of his training:

"I studied for three years with Sir Lawrence Olivier, two years with Emlyn Williams, and finally two weeks with Phyllis Dixie. I learned more in two weeks from Phyllis Dixon in the five years." (03:15)

Humorous Animal Stories (03:50 - 04:37)
Ted transitions into amusing tales about his affection for animals, particularly his St. Bernard dog, intertwining humor with endearing anecdotes:

"I bought a St. Bernard dog once, complete with a little bottle of brandy. As a matter of fact, I only bought him for the brandy." (04:00)

He narrates the dog's antics with brandy, culminating in a playful resolution:

"So that night I filled the bottle with castor oil. Yes." (04:35)

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Musical Interludes

"Raise a Laugh" – Performed by Unknown Singer (00:44 - 01:07)
A lively and uplifting song sets the tone, encouraging listeners to find joy and laughter even in challenging times:

"Raise a laugh when you're feeling sad and lose just raise a laugh and soon you'll find you're losing that frown." (00:50)

"Lucky Old Sun" – Performed by Unknown Singer (04:37 - 06:49)
This soulful rendition adds a melodic break, reflecting on hard work and the pursuit of happiness:

"Work like the devil for my face but the lucky old sun has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day." (05:00)

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Conclusion

Ted Ray concludes his performance with a series of humorous observations about everyday life, neighbors, and festive preparations. His ability to weave relatable scenarios with sharp wit leaves the audience in high spirits:

"Every time one of my hens lays an egg, instead of clucking, she stands up and yells, timber." (04:25)

The episode encapsulates the essence of classic radio entertainment, blending comedy and music to create an engaging and memorable listening experience.

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Notable Quotes:

• "I did. I locked all the windows and I shut the door with a patent pickpocket. Now, no one can get in without the key." — Ted Ray (03:50)
• "Can you blame them? I had the key of the gentleman's toku." — Ted Ray (03:30)
• "I went to the big film show last week. Oh, wonderful night it was." — Ted Ray (04:10)

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Final Notes: This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully captures the charm and humor of the late 1940s, offering listeners a nostalgic trip down memory lane. Ted Ray's engaging storytelling and comedic timing make "The Fog Has Cleared - Tailcut" a standout installment in the series.

Transcript

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[Ted Ray]

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[Unknown Singer]

Raise a laugh, Raise a laugh when you're feeling sad and lose Just raise a laugh and soon you'll find you're losing that frown A smile will spread all over the town don't give in try and praise like a fast point photograph. Come on and meet Ted Ray here.

[Ted Ray]

Chase your troubles away and raise a laugh Ted Ray. Thank you. My, that's nice applause. I hope I can live up to it. Thank you very much, boys and girls. I'm glad the fog's cleared at last. What a shocking experience I had last week in the fog. My goodness. I was working in a suburban theater. The band hadn't even turned up. Do you know, it was so foggy I couldn't see the audience. But I gave my act just the same. Not a laugh, not a titter. When I came off, I said to one bloke, that's the last time they get me down to the Hippodrome. Croydon. He said. Epodrome. He said the Anodrome. You know, lots of people think being a comedian is dead easy. Oh, yes they do. Oh yes, they do. Oh no. Oh no. I got where I am today through hard work. I studied for three years with Sir Lawrence Olivier, two years with Emlyn Williams, and finally two weeks with Phyllis Dixie. I learned more in two weeks from Phyllis Dixon in the five years. Do you love animals? I do. I love animals. I bought a St. Bernard dog once, complete with a little battle of brandy. As a matter of fact, I only bought him for the brandy. The first time I let him go out. He came home with the battle empty so he looked so mournful and sad. I filled it up with brandy again and sent him out again. Back he came with the battle empty again. I thought I'd put a stop to this lark. So that night I filled the battle with castor oil. Yes. Do you know what my next door neighbor had to have? 3 weeks off from work. Serves him right. Serves him, right? He's a swanky bloke. Very swanky type. You. I don't like those people, do you? He bought his wife a fur coat. Supposed to be mink. Some mink. She put it on to walk through the woods. And two ferrets tried to drag her down a hole. You know, getting near Christmas, I thought I'd try and fatten up a few chickens because I couldn't get my hens to lay. So a friend of mine told me to put a couple of china eggs in the nest to sort of give the birds the idea, you know, encourage them. I didn't have any eggs, so instead I put under two of those wooden balls. You use the coconut shy. It worked, too. Every time one of my hens lays an egg, instead of clucking, she stands up and yells, timber. I. I went to the big film show last week. Oh, wonderful night it was. And afterwards, who was the man they called for Elephant Gregory Craig Head. Right. That's who they wanted. Can you blame them? I had the key of the gentleman's toku. Which reminds me, folks. Reminds me. You've got to be very, very careful these days, talking about keys. I hope all you people here tonight locked everything up before you came out. Remember that. Be very careful. I did. I locked all the windows and I shut the door with a patent pickpocket. Now, no one can get in without the key. And I've got that right here in my inside pocket. I've got it right in my left hand. In my right. Is it a burglar in the house?

[Unknown Singer]

Do, do, do do do up in the morning out on the job Work like the devil for my face but the lucky old sun has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day Bus with my woman Toil for my kids Sweat till wrinkling gray While the lucky old sun has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day Good Lord above Can't you know I'm finding in my eyes Send down that cloud with a silver lining Lift me to paradise show me the river Take me across and wash all my troubles away like the lucky O sun Give me nothing to do but roll around heaven all day O Lord, O Lord I'm tired and weary of pain Please Lord, please Lord forgive me if I complain up in the morning out on the job Work like the devil for my faith but the lucky old son has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day Fuss with my woman toilet for my kids Sweat till I'm wrinkling gray While the lucky old son has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day. Good Lord, a bug can't you know I'm finding fears all in my down that cloud where the silver lining led me to paradise.

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[Ted Ray]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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