Red Skelton 1946-01-01- Bells and Resolutions

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Red Skelton 1946-01-01: Bells and Resolutions"

Episode Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio brings listeners a classic New Year’s broadcast from "The Raleigh Cigarette Program" starring Red Skelton, originally aired on January 1, 1946. The show is a blend of zany sketches, musical performances, and satirical reflections on New Year's resolutions and holiday celebrations. With a cast featuring Verna Felton, Anita Ellis, and more, Red’s trademark wisecracks and slapstick routines deliver a nostalgic slice of postwar American radio comedy just as families in the 1940s might have heard it.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter and New Year's Reflections

[01:11 – 03:55]

• Red and Tim exchange classic New Year's greetings, poking fun at the repetitiveness of the gesture:
  • Red Skelton: “Happy New Year to you, Tim. Happy New Year to you. Well, happy New Year to you. Well, we’ve kicked that around enough for this year.” [01:20]
• Recap of 1945 events in humorous snippets—mentioning the end of WWII, returning servicemen, and even comic strips going on a diet.
• Comedic take on holiday celebrations:
  • Red quips about Californians getting soaked, crowded festivities, and New Year’s antics:
    “People were climbing up those Christmas trees like monkeys. They had to give me a banana before I’d come down.” [02:27]
• Playful dialogue about New Year’s resolutions and keeping them:
  • Red: “Yeah, I got a couple I’ll sell you.” [03:18]
  • Tim: “I won’t be able to keep them.” [03:19]

Notable Quote:

Red Skelton: “I had nothing to do with it. I woke up this morning and there it was.” [01:30]

---

2. Anecdotes from Cast on Their New Year’s Eve

[03:24 – 03:55]

• Verna Felton’s tongue-in-cheek story about a New Year’s intruder and her wish to “kill him”—later revealed to be a comic setup.
• The cast riffs on the theme of New Year’s resolutions and humorous mishaps:
  • Junior: “Gee, that’s awful.”
  • Anita Ellis: “What did you do?”
  • Junior: “I nearly got killed.” [03:49–03:51]

---

3. Recurring Prize and Promotion Segments

[04:01 – 05:36] (Also recurs at [16:09 – 17:36])

• Red and Tim weave in the Raleigh Cigarettes car giveaway contest with comedic flair—while still playing to their 1940s sponsor expectations.
  • Red’s joke about the winner:
    “The winner of December 28th was my cousin Joe. And will he be surprised he didn’t even send in an entry. No, I’m kidding. The real winner was Carl Bergstrom Jr. of Superior, Wisconsin...” [05:15–05:36]

---

4. Musical Interlude: "How Deep is the Ocean"

[05:50 – 08:27]

• Anita Ellis delivers a heartfelt rendition of Irving Berlin’s classic, providing a mellow interlude sandwiched between comedy sketches:
  • “How much do I love you? I’ll tell you no lie. How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?...” [06:14]
• Red graciously thanks Anita after her performance. [08:27]

---

5. Skelton Scrapbook of Satire: "Bells and Resolutions"

[08:27 – 16:09]

• Main comedy sketch stars Red’s cowboy character Deadeye and sidekicks, set in Big Fork, Montana.
• Classic Deadeye humor:
  • Verna Felton as Margie spars with Deadeye about his “bow-legged” look and failed resolutions:
    • Margie: “And you’re the same old Deadeye. Still bow legged.”
    • Deadeye: “Oh, I ain’t so bow legged.”
    • Margie: “Well, then put your knees together.” [10:19–10:25]
  • Deadeye consents to ring the “haunted” bell on McGregor Mountain for a $1,000 prize, despite local superstition.
• Cowpoke dialogue filled with wordplay and sight gags:
  • Deadeye’s horse: “Silver? No, this is his brother, Stainless Steel.” [13:13]
  • Hilarious bartering over pay:
    • Jedi: “How much do you pay?”
    • Deadeye: “I pay what I feel like. What do you want?”
    • Jedi: “I want you to feel good. Shall I say $20?”
    • Deadeye: “If you want to, go ahead. Say $20. I’m gonna say $10.” [12:41–12:56]
• The “bear encounter” set piece is classic slapstick:
  • “All right, bear. Now, none of that stuff. Just come a little closer. Well, that was a little too close.” [15:08–15:15]
  • “No, but help me get my pants out of his teeth, will you?” [15:16]
  • “I’ll open your mouth and break your jaws with my bare hands. Oh, well, I can always count that money with my toes.” [15:45]

---

6. Second Satirical Sketch: Junior and Granny

[20:48 – 27:39]

• Red plays Junior, the mischievous boy, opposite Verna Felton’s Granny.
• Spike of slapstick and kid logic:
  • Junior takes a shower with clothes on:
    • Granny: “When you take a shower, you’re supposed to take your clothes off.”
    • Junior: “Now she tells me.” [21:26–21:30]
  • Junior on New Year’s possibilities:
    • “If me resolutions work out like I had them planned this year, the fire department should be pretty busy.” [22:22]
  • On being asked what New Year’s means:
    • “It means that Grandpa won’t be able to get out of bed for two days, don’t it?” [23:06]
• Family satire and generational quips:
  • “Do you know, Verna, you don’t look a day over 40. Really? No, I’m wrong. You don’t look a day over 35.” [24:57–25:04]

---

7. Closing Gags and New Year's Wishes

[27:51 – 28:08]

• A final roundup of the usual players, recapping the comedic chaos and extending New Year’s wishes to all.
• Red Skelton signs off, reminding listeners to “remember the boys still overseas.” [28:03]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Red Skelton (Opening Gag):
  “I had nothing to do with it. I woke up this morning and there it was.” [01:30]
• On California Rain:
  “Yeah, in sunny California too. A lot of people got soaked, you know.” [01:38]
• On New Year’s Resolutions:
  “Yeah, I got a couple I’ll sell you.” [03:18]
• Margie and Deadeye exchange:
  “And you look dumb enough to try it.” [10:13]
  “Yeah. Same old gal.” [10:15]
• Cowboy wage negotiation:
  “If you want to, go ahead. Say $20. I’m gonna say $10.” [12:51–12:56]
• Bear encounter:
  “No, but help me get my pants out of his teeth, will you?” [15:16]
• Junior’s New Year’s plan:
  “If me resolutions work out like I had them planned this year, the fire department should be pretty busy.” [22:22]
• Granny’s honesty:
  “All right, so I made a mistake.” [24:43]

---

Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Opening New Year’s greeting and reflections | | 03:24 | Cast shares their New Year’s experiences and resolutions | | 05:50 | Anita Ellis sings "How Deep is the Ocean" | | 08:27 | Introduction to Skelton Scrapbook sketch: Bells and Resolutions | | 10:19 | Deadeye and Margie reminisce about the past year | | 12:41 | Cowboy wage negotiation with Deadeye and Jedi | | 14:08 | Bear scare and bell-ringing shenanigans | | 20:48 | Second sketch: Junior and Granny’s New Year’s day | | 22:22 | Junior’s fiery resolutions | | 27:51 | Show closing and New Year’s sign off |

---

Tone, Style, and Legacy

The episode epitomizes the lighthearted, slapstick, and quick-witted humor that made Red Skelton an American favorite. The banter is zany, affectionate, and full of wordplay, painting a vivid postcard of 1940s New Year’s culture. The jokes are timely for the era (wartime shortages, returning GIs) but easy for a modern audience to appreciate for their classic charm.

---

For listeners who missed the episode: This show offers a perfect blend of gleeful gags, comedic sketches, and vintage atmosphere, with a New Year's flavor. Between wordplay, musical numbers, and lively characters, it's a fitting salute to a new beginning, as true in 1946 as it is today.

Transcript

[Announcer]

I'd rather have a Raleigh.

[Tim]

I'd rather have a Raleigh.

[Verna Felton]

I'd rather have a Raleigh.

[Announcer]

I'd rather have a Raleigh.

[Tim]

Because Raleigh is the only cigarette that gives you all three. From Hollywood, the Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Skelton with David Forrester and his orchestra, Gigi Pearson, Verna Felton. Our singing star, Anita Ellis, Pat McGee, and our guest, Wonderful Smith, and yours truly, Rod O'.

[Red Skelton]

Connor.

[Tim]

It's a pleasure to bring you Metro golden mayors, popular comedian and the star of the Rollies Cigarette program, Red Healthy.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and happy New Year.

[Tim]

Happy New Year to you, Rick.

[Red Skelton]

Happy New Year to you, Tim. Happy New Year to you. Well, happy New Year to you. Well, we've kicked that around enough for this year.

[Tim]

Well, how'd you bring the New Year in?

[Red Skelton]

I had nothing to do with it. I woke up this morning and there it was.

[Tim]

You know, the last year, a lot of waters passed over the dam.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, in sunny California too. A lot of people got soaked, you know.

[Tim]

Well, it was really an eventful 365.

[Red Skelton]

Days until the war ended.

[Tim]

A lot of the boys came back from overseas. Racing was stopped.

[Red Skelton]

Dick Tracy went on a diet.

[Tim]

Well, I wonder what the New Year has in store for us.

[Red Skelton]

Butter, I hope.

[Tim]

Say, did you hear the Oklahoma St. Mary's game today, Right?

[Red Skelton]

Yes, and it was really exciting. I was sitting in front of my radio and I could just, just picture Bing, Crosbin Crosby, Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman sitting on the 50 yard line ringing their bells for the home team.

[Tim]

Wasn't Hollywood Boulevard crowded?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, last night, you mean, say, the old street was creeping.

[Tim]

Yeah, the New Year's festivities were really rollicking.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, you said it. People were climbing up those Christmas trees like monkeys. They had to give me a banana before I'd come down. Four guys got arrested for J staggering last. Well, hey, there was one fellow walked into a place and he says to the bartender, a marine, he said, here, I got a present for you. He said, I got a present for you. A live lobster? Yeah, a live lobster. So the bartender says, well, thanks a lot. He says, I'll take it home to eat. The guy says, oh, don't do that. Take him to a movie. He's already eaten, I'll tell you. Right.

[Tim]

Did you make any?

[Red Skelton]

That's a good show. Too bad it wasn't in the script.

[Tim]

Did you make any resolutions for 1946?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, I got a couple I'll sell you.

[Tim]

I won't be able to keep Them.

[Red Skelton]

Well, Happy New Year to you, Anita.

[Verna Felton]

Same to you, Red.

[Junior]

Say, tell me, how did you see.

[Red Skelton]

The new year end?

[Verna Felton]

Oh, I spent the evening with my mother.

[Red Skelton]

No other girl can make that statement.

[Tim]

That is still breathing.

[Verna Felton]

I enjoy the bread. We listened to the radio and really had a wonderful time. There was only one thing wrong. Just as I got to bed about 12:30, some crazy fellow started pounding at my door. Why, I could have killed him.

[Junior]

Gee, that's awful.

[Anita Ellis]

What did you do?

[Junior]

I nearly got killed.

[Red Skelton]

Say, did you make any New Year's resolutions, Rod?

[Tim]

Oh, I certainly did. You know, I resolved to be more helpful to people.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, well, you know, sort of a two tone ton, Mr. Anthony. Huh? Well, look, I've got a problem. I've got a problem. You are a happy little blimp at that. I can't find an apartment, Mr. O'. Connor. And I'm sick of living in that tool chest with the built in bird bath. Do you think you can find me something?

[Tim]

Well, I can't do anything about the housing shortage, Red. No, but when it comes to brand new cars, that's different. You know, friends, the makers of Raleigh cigarettes are giving brand new cars away every day. Yes, each and every day someone wins a Chevrolet. That's seven winners. Seven cars given away every week. You can win one just as easily as the winner. I'll announce in a few seconds. This is all you have to do.

[Announcer]

Complete this sentence in 25 words or less. We should all buy victory bombs because. Got it. We should all buy victory bombs because. Send your entries to Raleigh cigarettes, box 1200, Chicago, Illinois, together with two complete wrappers from two packs of Raleigh cigarettes.

[Tim]

Now, don't put it off. Write your prize winning sentence and mail it tonight. Win yourself a brand new car just as this winter of December 28th.

[Red Skelton]

The winner of December 28th was my cousin Joe. And will he be surprised he didn't even send in an entry.

[Junior]

No, I'm kidding.

[Red Skelton]

I'm kidding. The real winner was Carl Bergstrom Jr. Of Superior, Wisconsin. And congratulations, Mr. Bergstrom.

[Announcer]

More winners announced on this program tonight.

[Tim]

And remember, smokers, Raleighs are the only cigarettes that give you all three throat protection. Better taste, lasting freshness.

[Junior]

Thank you, gentlemen.

[Red Skelton]

And now it's time for Anita Ellis to answer a musical question.

[Junior]

How deep is the ocean?

[Anita Ellis]

How much do I love you? I'll tell you no lie how deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? How many times a day do I think of you? How many roses are sprinkled with blue? How far would I turn travel.

[Red Skelton]

Just.

[Anita Ellis]

To deep where you are how far is the journey from fear to star and if I ever lost you.

[Red Skelton]

How.

[Anita Ellis]

Much would I cry how deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? The strength of my love for you Is mercy and a heart and home how deep is the. Oh, thank you very much.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you very much. The first story we read this year from our Skelton scrapbook of satire is entitled Bells and Resolutions. Our characters are fictional. If you think there's any similarity to persons living, don't you believe it. Chapter 33 is entitled the Bells of Big Fork, Montana. Once upon a time, there lived a fearless cowboy named Deadeye. And every year he would ride into town the help of the New Year celebration a week in advance. The Flathead County.

[Verna Felton]

Oh, come on.

[Red Skelton]

Horse war. That horse spins every nickel he gets on them jukeboxes. Think I'll go into Big Jim Brown's bar here. Howdy, folks. Hey, piano player, how about playing my favorite tune? No, no, no, not that one. The other one. That's it. Symphony. I love that. Oh, there's my gal, Margie the Clipper. It's been so long since I've seen a woman. I don't know whether you hug them before you say howdy or after.

[Verna Felton]

Howdy, said I. I guess it's after.

[Red Skelton]

Happy New Year, gal. Guy, she looks sweet enough to kiss. Yeah.

[Verna Felton]

And you look dumb enough to triumph.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. Same old gal.

[Verna Felton]

And you're the same old Deadeye. Still bow legged.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I ain't so bow legged.

[Verna Felton]

Well, then put your knees together.

[Red Skelton]

Well, look at that. Four feet taller.

[Verna Felton]

What's new, Deadeye? What's this I heard about you having a pistol duel with a horse thief? Thought you were going to reform. I thought you resolved in 1945 to get a steady job and take home an honest man's living.

[Jedi]

I did.

[Red Skelton]

You show me where the honest man hides it and I'll take it home.

[Verna Felton]

In 1946, did you fight this guy in on a stool?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. Even let him shoot first. Then I stepped from behind the tree and plugged him. It was fair and square. I got a fair deal and he got a square bar.

[Verna Felton]

Well, are you going to bring in the New Year with the honest, law abiding citizen?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. By the way, how many good law abiding citizens are there in this town now?

[Verna Felton]

I don't know.

[Red Skelton]

Let's go over the cemetery and count them, huh?

[Tim]

Hey, any of you hombres want to.

[Red Skelton]

Make a thousand dollars?

[Verna Felton]

A thousand dollars?

[Red Skelton]

Sounds like somebody pretty desperate for a pound of Butter, don't it four days for New Year's Eve.

[Tim]

And I'll pay $1,000 to anyone who'll ride to the top of McGregor Mountain and ring that bell in the old mission tower at midnight.

[Red Skelton]

You got your man there, stranger. I'm the best cowboy in the West. Of course, I don't have a pretty English accent like Errol Flynn, but I am brave, you know.

[Tim]

You ring that bell, the thousand dollars is yours.

[Verna Felton]

Are you nuts? The Blackfoot Indians say that bell is bad enough to anyone who goes near it.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, that's why I'm hiring somebody that don't know about the so called superstition of that bell and let him ring it.

[Verna Felton]

Gosh, Deadeye, you think of everything, don't you?

[Announcer]

Nope.

[Red Skelton]

Just them pictures and Esquire.

[Announcer]

Who just.

[Red Skelton]

Came in over there.

[Jedi]

Howdy, neighbors.

[Red Skelton]

Howdy, stranger around here?

[Jedi]

Yep, I'm from Texas.

[Red Skelton]

Panhandle.

[Jedi]

Only when I can't find work.

[Red Skelton]

They nice gear you're wearing there. Them boots, they genuine cowhide?

[Jedi]

It sure is. I'll prove it. I'll rub them together.

[Red Skelton]

Great.

[Junior]

A too.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, how would you like a job around here? Bringing in the new year. We need someone to ring a bell.

[Jedi]

How much do you pay?

[Red Skelton]

I pay what I feel like. What do you want?

[Jedi]

I want you to feel good. Shall I say $20?

[Red Skelton]

If you want to, go ahead, say $20. I'm gonna say 10.

[Jedi]

Okay, it's a deal. That sounds like a better deal. Then if you don't pay me, you don't owe me so much.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Red Skelton]

Well, shall we get going? The horses are outside.

[Jedi]

Okay. I saw your horse. He looks just like that Long Ranger's horse.

[Red Skelton]

Silver? No, this is his brother, Stainless Steel. Well, we're off to ring the big bell. So long, gal.

[Verna Felton]

So long, Jedi.

[Jedi]

Say, Jedi, where is this bell? We've been clowning for three days and I'm mighty hungry. Why, I'm so skinny now I'm holding my pants up with my teeth and it ain't easy. How come no teeth?

[Red Skelton]

Well, why don't you forget about food? Think about something else? Think about women.

[Jedi]

I'd rather think about food instead of women.

[Red Skelton]

Yep. Boy, I hope I never get that hungry. There it is. The big bell and the Robin's old mission.

[Anita Ellis]

There.

[Red Skelton]

Look how big that thing is. Kind of cold. Here, we still got five minutes before 1946.

[Jedi]

Deada, what's that big black thing walking around the front door there? Look, it looks like a bear.

[Tim]

A bear?

[Red Skelton]

Don't be silly. You're just so hungry, you think you see Food. It's a mirage.

[Jedi]

It looks like a bear.

[Red Skelton]

It's a mirage. Of course, some mirages are noisier than others. Look, you go over and make friends with that bear, and I'll go up and ring the bell. Who, me? That's who I'm looking at. Look, that bear is just as scared of you as you are of him.

[Jedi]

I don't see no goose pimples on him.

[Red Skelton]

Now, look, go on over there. If you were to go over there real fast, that bear would run. Yeah.

[Jedi]

Home and tell the other bears what he's found for dinner.

[Red Skelton]

Look, I'll tell you what, he's getting pretty close to it. You go ring the bell and I'll take care of the bear. That's funny. I'm going forward, but my feet are going backward. All right, bear. Now, none of that stuff. Just come a little closer. Just come a little closer. Well, that was a little too close.

[Jedi]

Did he get you?

[Red Skelton]

No, but help me get my pants out of his teeth, will you? I'll fix him. This.45 will make him lay down and take notice. All right, I'll lay down, bear, but give me my gun bag.

[Jedi]

Oh, you.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, Jedi.

[Jedi]

Yeah, I'm up to the bell and.

[Red Skelton]

It'S midnight and we're going to get that thousand bucks. Go ahead, ringhead.

[Announcer]

Hot dog. We've got.

[Tim]

Look out for the bear.

[Red Skelton]

Now, look, bear, I've had enough out of you. I'm going to open your mouth and break your jaws with my bare hands. Oh, well, I can always count that money with my toes.

[Tim]

Say, Red, let's start the new year off right for someone by giving them a swell prize.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, Mrs. Lou buttons, you win. Van Johnson.

[Tim]

No, Red. We're going to announce another winner in Raleigh's Car Day contest. You know, friends, each and every day someone wins a brand new car. Every day, mind you, seven cars each week to date. 50 cars have already been given away by the makers of Raleigh cigarettes. And one of these might just as well be yours. They're new 1946 Chevrolets. And they're so easy to win. This is all you have to do.

[Announcer]

Complete this sentence in 25 additional words or less. We should all buy victory bombs because. Send your entries to Raleigh Cigarettes, Box 1200, Chicago, Illinois. Together with two complete wrappers from two packs of Raleigh cigarettes.

[Tim]

Enter again and again because winners are chosen from entries received each day. Yes, each day a new winner.

[Announcer]

Entries are judged on uniqueness, originality and most convincing statement. Judges decision final duplicate prizes. In case of ties, entries become property of Raleigh cigarettes contest limited to United States and members of the armed forces abroad.

[Tim]

Send in your prize winning sentence tonight and win yourself a new car. Just as this winner of December 29.

[Announcer]

A new Chevrolet, goes to Dan Benson of Salt Lake city, Utah. Congratulations, Mr. Benson.

[Tim]

More winners announced tomorrow night in the Raleigh Room. Starring Hildegard. Be sure to listen.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you. And now Back to Forever O2, Chapter 35 of the Skelton Scrapbook. As we turn the page, we find a clipping from Believe it or not. It says David Forrester is the only musician in the world whose orchestra is composed of 32 relatives. Is tonight the old Forester family will stagger through the Camptown races. It. Thank you. You have a few relatives in the audience, too, tonight. I see. Chapter 36 in the scrapbook is entitled Resol. Starting the New Year. Right is a feat for some people, but wrong or right, Junior shows Granny that he is still the mean widow kid.

[Verna Felton]

Junior, where are you? Where are you?

[Junior]

I'm in here taking a shower. Grabbing me little cow.

[Verna Felton]

That's a good boy.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah.

[Verna Felton]

Happy New Year.

[Junior]

And the same to you. Grandma.

[Red Skelton]

Come in.

[Verna Felton]

Oh, no, dear. Granny will stay out here while you're taking your shower.

[Red Skelton]

No.

[Junior]

Come on.

[Red Skelton]

It's all right.

[Junior]

Come on in. I got me clothes on.

[Red Skelton]

What?

[Anita Ellis]

Junior.

[Verna Felton]

Oh, dear. And I thought 1946 would be different. Look at you. You're soaking wet.

[Junior]

Are you messing her?

[Verna Felton]

When you take a shower, you're supposed to take your clothes off.

[Red Skelton]

Now she tells me.

[Verna Felton]

Did you wash your face, girl?

[Junior]

Yes, I did.

[Verna Felton]

What's all that dirt behind your ears?

[Junior]

That's where I wash it to.

[Verna Felton]

Junior, do you know what day it is?

[Junior]

Certainly I does. I wasn't born yesterday, you know.

[Verna Felton]

Well, what day is it?

[Junior]

Well, let's see.

[Red Skelton]

30 days.

[Junior]

Hash. September. And Uncle George for driving while he was.

[Verna Felton]

Junior, I asked you what day this is.

[Junior]

Does you know?

[Verna Felton]

Certainly.

[Junior]

Then why should we both waste each other's time discussing something we both know? Boy, women are so evaporating sometimes. Exasperating, Junior, I'd like to look that word up someday.

[Verna Felton]

This is the first day of the new year.

[Junior]

Yes, and it should be full of new possibilities.

[Verna Felton]

You know, I hope that you've made a resolution to do bigger and better things.

[Junior]

Yes, I have. Yes, I have. If me resolutions work out like I had them planned this year, the fire department should be pretty busy.

[Verna Felton]

What do you mean?

[Junior]

You'll hear about it later.

[Red Skelton]

I had been reading up on the atomic bomb.

[Junior]

Not only will you hear about it.

[Red Skelton]

The whole town will hear about it.

[Junior]

Part of me here, part of me there, part of me there.

[Red Skelton]

That will be Junior all over. Junior.

[Verna Felton]

You're only kidding.

[Junior]

You just keep laughing, kid.

[Red Skelton]

Out. After all.

[Verna Felton]

Do you realize what New Year's Day means?

[Junior]

Yes, I does. It means that Grandpa won't be able to get out of bed for two days, don't it?

[Verna Felton]

That's enough.

[Junior]

Don't you hit me now.

[Verna Felton]

Now, if you'll hurry and change your clothes, we'll go say Happy New Year to Jim Hearty.

[Red Skelton]

Oh.

[Junior]

Boy, it's crowded today.

[Verna Felton]

Now, hold on to my hand.

[Junior]

I will not do this. I will not. I is a big boy now. I was a year older.

[Verna Felton]

All right. Well, then, darling, why don't you make a new resolution in 1946 to help other people? Oh, won't you take poor old Grandma's hand and help Grandma across the street?

[Junior]

Okay, I will do it.

[Red Skelton]

Here.

[Junior]

Now, hold tight, Grandma. Don't get hurt.

[Verna Felton]

You know, now that I have a good hold on your mitten, Junior, I might as well tell you that I was just using child psychology on you.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, really?

[Junior]

Well, now that you got a good hold on me mitten, Grandma, I may as well tell you that me hand ain't in it. He's got a nice house here, isn't he?

[Verna Felton]

Well, I hope Jim is home.

[Red Skelton]

Jim?

[Junior]

Who's this Jim you talk about?

[Verna Felton]

This gentleman is a very dear friend of mine, Julia. If I'd met him before I'd married your grandfather. Well, sometimes I wonder.

[Junior]

No, no, now, that's not right. Because if you hadn't married Grandpa, then you would never met Mummy. And if without Mummy, you wouldn't have me.

[Verna Felton]

All right, so I made a mistake.

[Red Skelton]

Yes. Well, happy New Year, Verna. Look at that old man. My, my, you look younger every day. Yeah.

[Junior]

You know, Benjamin Franklin used to tell her the same thing.

[Red Skelton]

You know, Verna, you don't look a day over 40. Really? No, I'm wrong. You don't look a day over 35.

[Junior]

How wrong can you be around here?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I am sorry. Happy New Year to you.

[Verna Felton]

Ah, shut up, Junior.

[Red Skelton]

Won't you come in, my Junior? You must be a lot of good company for your grandmother.

[Junior]

Trusting old soul, ain't you? We've got a nice house there, you know.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you, Verna. Remember the first New Year's we met? Yes.

[Verna Felton]

You gave me a lift on a bicycle.

[Junior]

A bicycle? Built for two, I hope.

[Verna Felton]

Well, no.

[Junior]

Well, let's not get sickening about it.

[Red Skelton]

Julia.

[Verna Felton]

Jim, you must come over to dinner sometime.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, thank you.

[Junior]

Don't you like turkey, Kim?

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Red Skelton]

Bring one over. We cook it. Oh, yeah. By the way, where is your husband now?

[Junior]

He's home sleeping in a junior.

[Verna Felton]

At times I can't figure you out.

[Junior]

Well, stick around, kiddo. You will get over there. Oh, look, you got a kitty cat.

[Verna Felton]

Now, don't get rough with the kitty. Don't get rough with him. He might scratch you and get blood poisoned.

[Junior]

Yes, he. Boy, they sure does love me, don't they, huh, boy, ain't you a dandy cat. Look how fuzzy you is, boy.

[Red Skelton]

I'm gonna take you home with me, boy. Here, come up and look. This here boy, he fat.

[Junior]

Where he go, he jump right out me arm. Oh, there he is up on that shelf. I will climb up there and get him.

[Red Skelton]

Come on.

[Verna Felton]

Clumsy cat.

[Junior]

It was the catchphrase he had on his overshoes on.

[Red Skelton]

Good heaven. What happened in here?

[Verna Felton]

Junior, what on earth are you doing?

[Junior]

There won't be no inflation now cause everything's come down.

[Red Skelton]

Junior.

[Verna Felton]

For that you have to be punished.

[Junior]

I know I was bad, so you go ahead and spank me. Go ahead, run your beautiful hand. But spank me.

[Verna Felton]

Go ahead. I don't have beautiful hands.

[Junior]

Yes, you do. They're so soft, so smooth. So Jergens like, you know. But going well.

[Verna Felton]

Run along.

[Junior]

He's really got these panhans. But I got my spinal column to worry about.

[Red Skelton]

Now.

[Junior]

Where'd that cat go? Oh, there's a big box with a lid on it. I'll put him in there. Then I know where he is when I'm ready to take him home.

[Red Skelton]

Look at it.

[Anita Ellis]

Come on.

[Junior]

Where'd he go? There he is now. Come on now. I got you in the box.

[Red Skelton]

You go. There I go. My nose. Stop.

[Junior]

Hey, Grandma, let me out of this box, will you?

[Red Skelton]

Happy to all be with you on.

[Tim]

Every Tuesday night at the same time. Red Skelton, David Forrester and his orchestra. Anita Ellis, Verna Falcon, Gigi Pearson, Pat McGeehan and yours truly, Rod O'.

[Red Skelton]

Connor.

[Tim]

Until next Tuesday then.

[Red Skelton]

This is Red Skelton saying goodbye now. Thanks for listening. And remember the boys still overseas. Right.

[Tim]

And remember, listen to Hildegard tomorrow night. And the People are Funny with Aunt Linkletter Friday night over most of these stations. Red Skelton is heard on this program through the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor.

[Announcer]

Sir Walter Raleigh. That's the tobacco that leaves your pipe as clean as a whistle. It's carefully blended from rich, ripe burleys and mellowed with just the touch of rum to enhance the natural full bodied flavor get. Sir Walter Raleigh. The quality pipe tobacco of America.

[Tim]

Red Skelton is brought to you by the Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation.

[Anita Ellis]

It.