Red Skelton Show 41-11-18 (007) Supermarkets

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Red Skelton Show 41-11-18 (007) Supermarkets"

Episode Details:

• Title: Red Skelton Show 41-11-18 (007) Supermarkets
• Release Date: May 7, 2025
• Host: Red Skelton
• Cast Members: Harriet Hilliard, Ozzie Nelson, Wonderful Smith, Truman Bradley

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1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with Truman Bradley warmly introducing the show from Metro Golden Mayor Studios. He highlights the presence of beloved cast members, including Ozzie Nelson and his band, Harriet Hilliard, and the ever-engaging Wonderful Smith. This sets the stage for an evening filled with classic humor and heartwarming interactions from the Golden Age of Radio.

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2. Supermarkets Segment

Red Skelton opens the comedic dialogue with a humorous take on his recent adventures in supermarkets:

• [02:06] Red Skelton: “Well, I've been doing my Thanksgiving shopping in one of those supermarkets. Supermarkets? Yeah. That's a push cart that got a break.”

He humorously recounts running into Hollywood celebrities during his shopping trips, mentioning names like Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, and Groucho Marx, adding a relatable twist to the everyday activity of grocery shopping.

• [02:21] Red Skelton: “I bought a pound of grapes and when I came out, I had a gallon of wine.”

Truman Bradley playfully inquires about an earthquake affecting the supermarket:

• [02:31] Red Skelton: “Yeah, I was there at the time. And, you know, all the beans on one side of the store and all the corn on the other side.”

The conversation takes a witty turn when Red shares an amusing encounter with a supermarket employee:

• [02:50] Red Skelton: “I said, give me some lamb chops without panties. The guy looked at me and he says, how old are you, bub?”

Harriet Hilliard joins in, questioning Red's choice to shop barefoot:

• [03:08] Red Skelton: “Well, you can never tell when some lady's gonna drop her change.”

This segment continues with light-hearted banter about rising food prices and crowded stores during Thanksgiving, painting a vivid and comedic picture of holiday shopping chaos.

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3. Thanksgiving Dinner Skit

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a delightful Thanksgiving-themed skit featuring Red Skelton, Harriet Hilliard, and Ozzie Nelson. The skit humorously portrays a family's Thanksgiving preparations and the ensuing chaos.

Invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner:

• [11:29] Red Skelton: “You're all invited over to my house for a Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, Red, that's wonderful. Thanks. Now, look, you can all bring your wives, bring your friends, and if anybody knows a turkey, you can bring him, too.”

Harriet inquires about post-dinner plans:

• [11:45] Harriet Hilliard: “Say, what do we do after dinner, Red?”

• [11:47] Red Skelton: “Oh, we'll play games like the last time.”

Chaos at the Dinner Table:

The skit escalates as Red humorously strategizes the family's approach to Thanksgiving football:

• [12:00] Red Skelton: “This year, I want you to spill coffee all over the tablecloth. I understand they're no good on a wet ground.”

Interactions with the Family:

• [15:02] Harriet Hilliard: “Clem, where are you?”

• [16:02] Red Skelton: “You know, I hate to kill him. We've had him so long, he seems like one of the family.”

Junior's Antics:

A young character, Junior, adds to the chaos with his mischievous behavior:

• [23:36] Red Skelton (as Junior): “Can I have Veronica Lake for quitment?”

• [24:37] Red Skelton (as Junior): “I'll carry it like a bowling ball.”

Humorous Confrontation:

• [25:08] Red Skelton: “I ain't back. Can I go practice on the piano now? What am I saying?”

• [26:13] Red Skelton: “Well, I put some of it in this pot and I put a hunch of it over in this pot.”

This skit cleverly intertwines family dynamics with Thanksgiving traditions, showcasing Red Skelton's signature humor and storytelling prowess.

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4. Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Red Skelton extends a heartfelt invitation for listeners to join him for Thanksgiving dinner, emphasizing community and togetherness:

• [11:29] Red Skelton: “You're all invited over to my house for a Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, Red, that's wonderful. Thanks.”

The closing remarks reiterate the show's festive spirit, wishing listeners a "Happy Thanksgiving" and ensuring them of more entertaining content in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Red Skelton on Unexpected Shopping:

  • [02:21] “I bought a pound of grapes and when I came out, I had a gallon of wine.”

• Red's Barefoot Shopping Reason:

  • [03:08] “Well, you can never tell when some lady's gonna drop her change.”

• Invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner:

  • [11:29] “You're all invited over to my house for a Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, Red, that's wonderful. Thanks.”

• Junior's Mischief:

  • [23:36] “Can I have Veronica Lake for quitment?”

• Red on Turkey Preparations:

  • [15:12] “With this squad, we're cinched to wind up in the gravy bowl.”

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Final Thoughts

This episode of "Red Skelton Show" masterfully blends everyday scenarios with comedic brilliance, all centered around the theme of Thanksgiving. Through relatable humor, engaging characters, and witty dialogues, Red Skelton delivers an entertaining experience that resonates with both longtime fans and new listeners alike. The show's ability to capture the essence of familial gatherings and holiday preparations with humor makes it a delightful listen, transporting audiences back to a cherished era of radio entertainment.

Transcript

[Truman Bradley]

From Hollywood, the Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Skelton. With Ozzie Nelson and his music, Harriet Hilliard and wonderful sm.

[Red Skelton]

It'S Sam. That was I, I, I played by.

[Truman Bradley]

Ozzie Nelson and his band. And now here is Metro, Golden Mayer's newest comedy find, the star of our show, Red Skelton.

[Wonderful Smith]

This is a studio, Al.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you very much and good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

[Truman Bradley]

Say, Red, you look a little tired tonight. What have you been doing?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I've been doing my Thanksgiving shopping in one of those supermarkets. Supermarkets? Yeah. That's a push cart that got a break. You know, all the Hollywood celebrities go there. I go there just to see them. Bob Hope, Biver, McGee and Molly and Burns. Now, they were all there this week.

[Truman Bradley]

Say, Red, were they busy while you were there?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, they were so. And what a crowd. I bought a pound of grapes and when I came out, I had a gallon of wine.

[Truman Bradley]

Oh, by the way, Red, did that earthquake we had the other night, did that damage the market you go to?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, I was there at the time. And? And, you know, all the beans on one side of the store and all the corn on the other side.

[Wonderful Smith]

Yeah.

[Truman Bradley]

Well, what happened about the earthquake in the middle succotage? Say, some of those supermarkets are really particular, aren't they?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, I'll say they are. The one I go to, I walked in the other day and I said, give me some lamb chops without panties. The guy looked at me and he says, how old are you, bub?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Hi, Iran.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, hello, Harriet. Say, did you enjoy going shopping with me in that supermarket?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I certainly did. But tell me, why do you always go shopping in your bare feet?

[Red Skelton]

Well, you can never tell when some lady's gonna drop her change. I was a little embarrassed running around that store, though, in my bare feet. It's such a high class place, you know.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I'll say it's a high class place. It's the first market I've ever seen with a cigarette girl.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, she was cute, too, but I thought she was a little bold.

[Harriet Hilliard]

So did I. Going around yelling, cigars, cigarettes. Hillside 4185.

[Red Skelton]

It was probably her license number, you know.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Gee, the price of food certainly has gone up, hasn't it?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I don't think so. I got a dozen eggs for 65 cents.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You paid 65 cents for a dozen eggs?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, that's all. For 27 cents more, you'd have got the yolks, too.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, and the stores are so crowded with everybody shopping for Thanksgiving.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. You know, I went to this store to get a turkey. And I had to stand in line an awful long time.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, you weren't the only one who had to wait a long time, were you?

[Red Skelton]

No, there was a pilgrim in front.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, well, Thanksgiving only comes once a year if you're stubborn about it.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hiya, Red.

[Red Skelton]

How are you, Ozzy? Say, did you go shopping at the supermarket?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, I have jokes about the Piggly Wiggly.

[Red Skelton]

Now, you were too, in that supermarket because I saw you in the vegetable department. Were you shopping?

[Ozzie Nelson]

No, I was just grazing. You know, Red, it's amazing the fruits and vegetables you can get at this time of the year.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, say, you know how the California people are always bragging about how big their vegetables are?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yeah.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I fooled them. How? Well, I pointed to some watermelon, I said, give me some of them cucumbers. The guy says, them ain't cucumbers, them's peas.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I like the shop too, Red, but I sort of have to pick out what I want.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, well, you know, that kind of stuff got me in trouble in a market once.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, how do you mean?

[Red Skelton]

Well, they had a big sign that says, don't pinch the peaches. A blonde came in, and that's all I remember.

[Truman Bradley]

Smokers. No other cigarette on the market can match Raleigh's Golden Rich tobacco blend. And it's this exclusive blend that makes the big difference that makes Raleigh so noticeably smoother and milder. And why is it called a Golden rich blend? Well, first, because only the golden tobaccos go into Raleigh's tobaccos that any expert will tell you are choicer, more expensive, and for a distinctive richness no less than 31 different types of the best domestic and imported tobaccos are used, tended by the skilled hands of master craftsmen. Yes, Raleigh cigarettes excel where it makes the big difference in the tobacco blend. And remember, Raleigh's give you valuable coupons redeemable for over 70 luxury premiums. Friends, it pays to smoke Raleigh's. The pack with the coupon on the back. Raleigh cigarettes.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Of course you recognize. Why don't we do this more often? In the next chorus, Harriet portrays a very, very young lady who has just spent an unfortunate afternoon with her boyfriend.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Why don't we do this more often? Those were my first thoughts that day. You told me such pretty things again and again. You're not a child, you know. You're practically 10. You acted like such a big shot when you ordered ice cream cones for two. You didn't have a dime. I had to pay the bill. I don't like you. And I Always will. Then you say, why don't we do this more often? Well, why don't you act your age, Superman?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I guess trouble knows no age. Lynn, Harriet and I had a weird experience one evening. It all started harmlessly. We were driving along in our car and she turned to me and said.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Why don't we do this more often? Just what we're doing tonight. Gee, but it's great to get the fresh country. Let's get off the beaten path and just drive anywhere. We'll ride right on till we're tired and stop at some quiet hotel, A cozy little inn, a spot nobody knows the kind you only see in moving picture shows. Why we don't do this more often. Ozzy can tell you the rest.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Why don't we do this more often? The memory gives me a fright. Our hotel was the Biltmore, so I was told it was built more like a well, it was plenty old. When I woke up the next morning, I phoned the clerk and I said.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Said.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hey, how do you get hot water in this chicken coop? He said, go down to the dining room and order soup. That's why we don't do this more often. After what happened that night, can you blame us after what happened that night?

[Red Skelton]

That was Ozzy and Harriet singing their own special version of why Don't we do well. Come in.

[Wonderful Smith]

Howdy, Mr. Scout.

[Red Skelton]

Well, wonderful, Smith. Say, what can I do for you, Wonderful?

[Wonderful Smith]

Well, I wonder if I could get an advance on my last week's salary. I'd like to buy a turkey.

[Red Skelton]

Now, look, wonderful. We've been on. You've been on the air with me for seven weeks, brother, and I can read you like a book. You don't want no turkey. The only thing you're interested in is gambling and clothes.

[Wonderful Smith]

You'll find some women on page three.

[Red Skelton]

Say, wonderful. What are you doing on Thanksgiving Day?

[Wonderful Smith]

I've been invited to dinner over to my girl's house.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, swell. Well, then you better brush up on your etiquette, huh? Table manners. You know, I was talking to Hattie McDaniels about. You said you were over to her house for dinner. You ate all the corn off the cob. Held the cob up in the air and says, hey, Hat, put some more beans on this stick.

[Wonderful Smith]

And she did. Maybe I ought to get some advice on this etiquette. Please give me the phone, Mr. Skelton.

[Red Skelton]

Help yourself. It's right there.

[Wonderful Smith]

Hello, operator. I'd like to speak to Ms. Stump.

[Red Skelton]

Stump? Say, for tips on etiquettes, you should call Emily Post.

[Wonderful Smith]

I know, but on my salary, I can only afford. Stump. Hello, Ms. Stump. This is wonderful, Smith. Ms. Stump, I'm going over to my gal's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and I don't know exactly what to do. Oh, yes, ma' am. I is dressing. It's the law, you know.

[Red Skelton]

She means, is it formal?

[Wonderful Smith]

Well, this is my best suit I got, Mr. Skelton. How do you like it?

[Red Skelton]

Well, that jacket's a little long, isn't it?

[Wonderful Smith]

That's the way I had it made. The pants ain't ready yet. What'd you say, Ms. Stump? How's my table manners?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I.

[Wonderful Smith]

As a gentleman. Oh, no, Ms. Stump. I wouldn't reach for anything. I've been to that house before. Getting anything off of that table is like putting your hand in a meat grinder. Only difference, with a meat grinder, you get your arm back. Well, goodbye, Ms. Stump. Well, see you later, Mr. Skelton.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, wonderful. Goodbye. There, now.

[Harriet Hilliard]

So Wonderful's going out to dinner, huh?

[Red Skelton]

Yes. Oh, I almost forgot. Listen, gang, you're all invited over to my house for a Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, Red, that's wonderful. Thanks. Now, look, you can all bring your wives, bring your friends, and if anybody knows a turkey, you can bring him, too.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Say, what do we do after dinner, Red?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, we'll play games like the last time.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Okay, but this time you wash and I'll draw.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Sure will be fun to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. I hate to stay at home neat in the kitchen. We got mice. You got mice?

[Red Skelton]

No, we can't afford them. Say, you know, I think Thanksgiving Day is really a lot of fun. But there's a lot of people who think it should be given back to the Indians. And to prove what I mean, tonight I'm going to show the different ways that people spend Thanksgiving. At first, we'll start off with a football coach giving a pep talk to his family before going out to dinner. Now, listen, gang, I want to talk turkey. This year, we're going to a kickoff over at Aunt Lucy's. Last year, they were over here on our home grounds. What happened? They got all the white meat, all the dark meat. We wound up behind. Anyhow, we wound up behind them. Now, this year, I want you to get in there and block those potatoes. Cause after dinner's over, all that counts is who's got the most bones. Now, we're going over there and eat. We're gonna eat hard. There's one thing I want you to remember. As soon as you hear dinner served, I want you to spill coffee all over the tablecloth.

[Truman Bradley]

What for, Pop?

[Red Skelton]

I understand they're no good on a wet ground. All right, Tom, step up here at the blackboard. Now, what do you do when Uncle Wilbur tries to carry a drumstick for a first helping? I take out Uncle Wilbur Right. Now remember, fight clean. No gravy stains. This year. When you come through that cranberry sauce, don't come out looking like the crimson tide.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hey, Pop, what about me? What do I do?

[Red Skelton]

Well, Joe, you're the shortest, so you stand on the table and run interference.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What'd we do if Uncle Al intercepts a pass and snags one of the wings?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, we go into our wing back formation.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I've had this mob in strict training, Pa. They've been on a nine day diet for nine weeks.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, one man famine. All right, gang, now everybody around the table. We're gonna try play 43. Here, here, here. You're offside there, son. Your fork went over the line of spinach, but I think we're all set now. I'm in. I want you to go in there and eat. Cut, slice. Don't stop to chew. Just swallow.

[Truman Bradley]

Okay, pup, we'll be in there munching.

[Red Skelton]

Fine. Out to the shower. Men. Get in your eating jackets. And when that whistle blows, I want you to come out biting. Children, children. I'm ashamed of you, stampeding like that. It's a lucky thing I got out first. I'll pick up your mother.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I'm all right. I can eat with one hand. Tell me, Pa, confidentially, do you think we'll have a chance to carve a name for ourselves this Thanksgiving?

[Red Skelton]

With this squad, we're cinched to wind up in the gravy bowl. Then we have the people who buy their turkey three weeks early so they can fatten them up. Then comes the time to dress it. And this is what usually happens.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Clem, where are you?

[Red Skelton]

I'm out here.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Is the turkey ready?

[Red Skelton]

No, we're talking things over.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Clem, you've got to do something about that Adam's apple. It's getting bigger every day.

[Red Skelton]

You're looking at the turkey. This is me over here. You gotta stop picking on my Adam's apple. It ain't that big, you know. Ooh, they went in the collar again.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, hurry up and dress that turkey.

[Red Skelton]

You know, I hate to kill him. We've had him so long, he seems like one of the family.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, maybe so on your side of the family, not mine.

[Red Skelton]

Look at him. Look at him set up. I'm Telling you, he's almost human. Look at him. You throw a stick and he fetches it back like a dog. I'm telling you, he's almost human. Can't we eat something else? I never liked turkey mush anyhow.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, last year you got the best part.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, yeah? I still don't believe I got the nose. And if it was. Let's not get nosy again this year. Buff.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now you're gonna kill that turkey.

[Red Skelton]

No, I can't. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Aw, here, Put your head on my shoulder.

[Red Skelton]

I can't.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Chilly, you cry.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, it's nothing.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I know, but you're putting my cigarette out.

[Red Skelton]

Give me that gun. I'll do like the Pilgrims did. I'll go out and shoot our dinner. Look, there's a wild turkey flying over. Now give me that gun. I'll get him.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Is it a tom turkey or a hen turkey?

[Red Skelton]

Wait. I'll ask the pilot. He's getting out now. That was Ozzy Nelson and the boys playing Take the A Train. And very good, too, if they do it. I mean. No, I'm kidding. Say, Ozzy, come over here. I got something. I got a story for you. Fine, Red.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Let's have it.

[Red Skelton]

Well, here's the way it is, Ozzie. Both are lined up on the gridiron, see? All set to go. Oh, boy.

[Ozzie Nelson]

What happens next?

[Red Skelton]

Well, they turn on the heat and things begin to really cook. Oh, boy. Now it's three down. I was hungry for more. There was two more coming up.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now, wait a minute. If it's third down, there'd only be one more coming up. Any football fan knows that.

[Red Skelton]

Football? I'm talking about a swell waffle iron I got with my Raleigh.

[Truman Bradley]

Well, gentlemen, there can be no misunderstanding about that electric waffle iron you get with Raleigh coupons. It's really a beauty. And, friends, there's a vacuum coffee brewer you can get to go along with it. Yes, and gorgeous silverware, too. These are only a few of the Raleigh Premiums. There are over 70 more, all nationally advertised merchandise. You'll find many things you've been wanting for a long time but just hesitated to spend that extra money for. And you can get all of them as a plus value by just smoking Raleigh cigarettes and saving the valuable coupons that come on the bank. Now, we have a catalog which pictures in full color all the Raleigh Premiums and it's free. For your copy, just drop a penny postal card to Raleigh in care of the station to which you are listening. And Friends, tonight switch to Raleigh cigarettes. Raleigh's golden rich blend gives you a tastier, a far more enjoyable smoke. Ask for the pack with a coupon on the back. Raleigh cigarettes.

[Red Skelton]

Say, you know, that's very good advice, Truman.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Hey, Red.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah?

[Harriet Hilliard]

What are some more things that usually happen on Thanksgiving Day?

[Red Skelton]

Well, what I get a kick out of most of all is the youngsters. So we'll do that next. We have a mean little kid who really has a time on Thanksgiving. This little brat messes around the kitchen, getting in everybody's way, see? So I'll tell you what, Harriet. You be my mother, and I'll be the little boy.

[Harriet Hilliard]

All right, Red.

[Red Skelton]

Mommy, Mommy, we gonna starve.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What are you talking about, Junior?

[Red Skelton]

Well, you told Pop to dress that turkey. Well, after he scolded him and picked all the fetters off of him, he hopped out of the pan and ran away.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, Junior, why do you tell stories like that? The turkey has been in the oven for hours.

[Red Skelton]

I knew I would find out where he. Gee, you know, Mom, I'm kind of sorry we killed that old Dorothy.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You are?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. He put up a great fight, though, didn't he? Three times. He took the act away from Pop. Mm.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Mom? Yes?

[Red Skelton]

You think Pop will be out of the hospital by quitmut?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, but he won't be able to shave his neck for a while. Now go away. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

[Red Skelton]

Can I have this moment?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Put that celery down.

[Red Skelton]

I like celery.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Company. Hulk.

[Red Skelton]

I'm hungry. Could I have a pizza? Jelly bread?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Sure. Here's a bread. You'll have to spread the jelly on your face yourself. Junior, stop eating that table. Junior, I told you to stop.

[Red Skelton]

Oh. You broke my arm. You broke my arm. You hit me and broke my arm.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I didn't even touch you. I hit my own arm.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, you. Did you hurt yourself? Mom?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No. Now, you sit here on this stool.

[Red Skelton]

Okay?

[Harriet Hilliard]

You're a bad boy.

[Red Skelton]

I know it.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You're a very, very bad boy.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, I say I am. Last night I set fire to Eddie Peabody. Mommy.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What is it?

[Red Skelton]

Can I have Veronica Lake for quitment?

[Harriet Hilliard]

I thought you wanted electric trains.

[Red Skelton]

What do you think I am, a dope?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Listen, you just sit on your stool.

[Red Skelton]

And be quiet, all right? Mommy?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes?

[Red Skelton]

Where'd I come from?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Be quiet.

[Red Skelton]

Did Buck Rodgers bring me?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, you were left on the doorstep in a cage.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, look. Here come the kitty cat. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. I bet he's hungry too. Here, kitty. Here, kitty.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior, stop pulling that cat's tail.

[Red Skelton]

I ain't pulling it, Mom. I get holding on. He doing the ball. Oh, Lord. Hey mummy, look. He tail here, but he ain't tail here.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, you're just kidding. Well, here, I want you to do me a favor.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Take this pumpkin pie next door to Mrs. Denny. Yeah, and be careful, it's got whipped cream on the top.

[Red Skelton]

Oh boy.

[Harriet Hilliard]

And hurry back cause dinner's ready.

[Red Skelton]

Oh boy. Boy, don't that look good, huh?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior, get your fingers out of that pie.

[Red Skelton]

I'll carry it like a bowling ball.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, that kid is driving me crazy. His father's got to talk to him. And I'll bet the old boy will learn plenty.

[Red Skelton]

Well, hello, Mommy. I ain't back. Can I go practice on the piano now? What am I saying?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, your dinner's ready.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, never mind dinner. I ain't very hungry. Somehow I don't feel very. Honey, I don't feel good. I think I got acid indigestion. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, that trouble. Hello?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, hello Mrs. Denny. What? I just sent that pie over with Junior.

[Red Skelton]

Better get some road map.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I'm beginning to get it. I'll call you back. Mrs. Denny. Junior, come here.

[Red Skelton]

Put that shillelagh down and I will.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior, come here.

[Red Skelton]

You'll never take me alive.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior, did you eat that whole pumpkin pie?

[Red Skelton]

No, only half of it. The punk pie.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, why didn't you eat all of it?

[Red Skelton]

Well, what do you think I am, a pig?

[Harriet Hilliard]

What did you do with the half you didn't eat?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I put some of it in this pot and I put a hunch of it over in this pot.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Why you.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, what'd you do there for? I had a hunch in that potat too, Sam.

[Truman Bradley]

Say, Red, you and I have been talking quite a lot tonight, you know.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, that's right, Brad.

[Truman Bradley]

Well, I think turnabout is fair play. So here is a word from our companion sponsor.

[Unknown]

Yes, gentlemen, turnabout is fair play. If you're kind to your pipe, your pipe will be kind to you. And the best favor you can do both is to smoke Sir Walter Raleigh. You see, Sir Walter Raleigh is extra cool, burning more even, smoking right down to the bottom of the bowl. That's why a Sir Walter Raleigh pipeload is sweeter, cooler, milder. But add to that the fact that Sir Walter Raleigh gives you a smooth nut like flavor and a pleasing he man aroma and you've really got something. You've got Sir Walter Raleigh, the quality pipe tobacco of America. If you paid $100 a pound. You couldn't get finer. Yet Sir Walter Raleigh costs no more than ordinary tobacco. So tonight ask for Sir Walter Raleigh.

[Truman Bradley]

Don't forget we'll all be back at the same time next week. Red Skelton, Ozzy Nelson and his music. Harriet Hilliard, wonderful Smith and your announcer Truman Bradley who wishes you a most pleasant Thanksgiving. And ladies and gentlemen, I honestly believe we can all help to make this coming Thursday a day of real Thanksgiving for liberty loving people all over the world. If we make an extra effort to buy more United States saving stamps and defense funds. And now here's Red Skelton again.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you very much, Brad. I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen. We're not a little early, we're not a little late, we're just right. But bye now. Happy Thanksgiving.

[Truman Bradley]

Red smelting is heard on this program through the courtesy of the Metro Golden Mayor Studios. This is the Red Network of the national broadcasting continent.