Reporter of Odd Facts xx-xx-xx (03) Settling Down

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio Episode: Reporter of Odd Facts xx-xx-xx (03) Settling Down
Release Date: July 4, 2025

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Introduction to the Art of Sitting Down

The episode opens with the Narrator humorously addressing the universal habit of sitting, likening it to a daily exercise that everyone partakes in. He introduces the theme by referencing historical and contemporary figures renowned for their extraordinary acts of sitting.

Narrator (00:01): "Plain old fashioned everyday sitting down... Even Napoleon had one in his army who turned out to be quite a problem."

The Tale of Paul Savann: An Unwilling Sitter

The Narrator recounts the story of Paul Savann, an assistant cook in Napoleon's army who was notorious for his inability to perform his duties. Instead of contributing to the army’s efforts, Savann chose to sit idle, leading to his eventual punishment.

General Bonaparte (00:30): Judge Savann's lack of productivity, expressing frustration with his constant sitting.

Paul Savann (00:31): "I'm not able to work. I'm too weak to do anything. All I can do is just sit around."

In response to his refusal to work, Savann is sentenced to sit on a nest of hen's eggs until they hatch. Remarkably, he fulfills his punishment by incubating three broods of chicks, turning his idleness into a productive outcome.

Narrator (01:21): "Savann, you are now good for something in this army, you see. And there Savann sat as mad as a wet hen until he had hatched three broods of chickens."

Pillar Saints: Historical Masters of Sitting

Transitioning from Savann's military tale, the Narrator delves into the phenomenon of Pillar Saints from ancient Egypt and Syria. These individuals dedicated their lives to sitting atop street pillars, awaiting the supposed second coming of Christ.

Tourist Guide (01:21): "Guide, do tell us what these little pillars in the middle of the street are for. We pass several of them."

General Bonaparte (01:27): Explains that these pillars served as seats for saints who remained perched indefinitely.

The stories of Simon the Elder and Simon the Younger highlight the extreme dedication of these saints, who sat for 37 and 69 years respectively, never descending from their pedestals despite the passage of time and changing generations.

Narrator (02:23): "Simon the elder sat on his pedestal for 37 years and Simon the younger climbed up to his when he was a young boy and never came down until he died 69 years afterwards."

Modern-Day Flagpole Sitters: The Contemporary Pillar Saints

Drawing a parallel between ancient pillar saints and modern flagpole sitters, the Narrator explores how this peculiar form of endurance has evolved. He introduces several notable flagpole sitters who have taken the concept to new heights—both literally and figuratively.

1. Shipwreck Kelly: Initiated the trend by sitting atop a flagpole for 12 days and 12 hours.
2. Spider Haines: Outlasted Kelly by extending his sit by four days in Denver, Colorado.
3. Ms. Bobby Mack: A female participant who stayed on her Los Angeles flagpole perch for nearly three weeks, showcasing that the competition extends beyond just male participants.

Narrator: "Even girls got into the competition. Ms. Bobby Mack took a deep breath of California atmosphere and stayed up on her Los Angeles perch for almost three weeks."

The Extreme Case of Joe Powers

The most dramatic account comes from Joe Powers, whose prolonged stay atop the Morrison Hotel's flagpole in Chicago stands out due to the severe physical toll it took on him. After 16 days and over two hours perched 637 feet above Randolph Street, Powers descended in a frail and battered state, illustrating the extreme dedication and the potential dangers of such endeavors.

Narrator (02:19): "Joe Powers... came down from his flagpole... six teeth were gone, his legs were swollen... his face was black, his neck was sunburned."

Despite the hardships, Powers cherished his feat for the unique memory it provided, encapsulating the human spirit's drive to push boundaries.

Narrator (02:23): "Joe had the memory of a record of 16 days, 2 hours and 30 odd minutes on top of the flagpole..."

Reflections on Human Endurance and Legacy

Concluding the episode, the Narrator muses on the continuity of human endeavors to settle into one spot, whether in ancient times or the modern era. He suggests that the progression of such acts reflects the broader trajectory of human persistence and the quest for legacy.

Narrator: "Maybe we can measure the progress of the human race by measuring the distance between the pillar saints of ancient times and the flagpole sitters of today."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with the Narrator signing off, reinforcing the central theme of extraordinary sitting as a reflection of human dedication and the lengths individuals will go to leave their mark.

Narrator: "That's all for this time, friends. This is the reporter of odd facts speaking."

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Key Takeaways:

• Historical Context: The concept of prolonged sitting has deep historical roots, exemplified by the Pillar Saints of ancient civilizations.
• Human Perseverance: Modern flagpole sitters continue this tradition, showcasing human endurance and the desire for recognition.
• Humorous Tone: The episode employs a humorous and satirical narrative style to engage listeners while presenting quirky historical facts.
• Notable Quotes: Inclusion of direct quotes with timestamps enhances the authenticity and engagement of the summary.

This detailed summary encapsulates the episode's exploration of the peculiar tradition of extended sitting, bridging historical anecdotes with modern-day parallels, all delivered with Harold's characteristic wit and charm.

Transcript

[Narrator]

Hello everybody. I suppose most of you are sitting down at the present moment. It's a good substantial daily exercise that we all indulge in, more or less. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about plain old fashioned everyday sitting down. There have been some great sitter downers in recent days and some great ones in history too. Even Napoleon had one in his army who turned out to be quite a problem. Listen, what is this man's name and with what is he charged? This man is Paul Savann. He is supposed to be an assistant cook, but we can't get him to work.

[General Bonaparte]

General.

[Narrator]

Is this true, Savann? Why won't you work? General Bonaparte? I'm not able to work. I'm not strong. I'm too weak to do anything. All I can do is just sit around. No good for anything but sitting around, eh? Very well, we will take you at your word. Savannah guard picks up a nice nest of hen's eggs at the side of the staple and sit savannah upon them until they are hatched there. Savann, you are now good for something in this army, you see. And there Savann sat as mad as a wet hen until he had hatched three broods of chickens. And three broods of chickens. Take some long tall sitting. And then many years ago Egypt and Syria had some champion sitters that were called pillar saints. Even today guides are busy explaining to tourists in the cities of Alexandria and Antioch the reason for the little pedestal they see here and there upon the streets.

[Tourist Guide]

Guide, do tell us what these little pillars in the middle of the street are for. We pass several of them.

[General Bonaparte]

Now those are the seats of the pillar states, ladies. Many, many years ago there were people who sat themselves on top of those columns and higher up hoping to catch the first glimpse of the second coming of Christ.

[Tourist Guide]

Well, they came down at night, didn't they?

[General Bonaparte]

Oh no, lady. When a pillar saint once climbed up to his feet, he never left it until he died. Simon the elder sat on his pedestal for 37 years and Simon the younger climbed up to his when he was a young boy and never came down until he died 69 years afterwards. Their friends passed food and water up to. And of course the climate here is very mild.

[Tourist Guide]

Well, for land sake, 69 years is.

[Narrator]

A long time to sit on one spot. And if someone had told you a few years ago that a man in good health and his right mind would do practically the same thing, you probably wouldn't have believed it, would you? Well, we've seen some funny things in these funny times. We've seen hard boiled egg eating champions, marathon dances, Bunyan derbies, and even the American version of Pillar Saints. By that I mean flagpole sitters. Remember Shipwreck Kelly, who started the fad by sitting atop a flagpole for 12 days and 12 hours? Then Spider Haines scrambled up a flagpole in Denver, Colorado, and stayed there four days longer to steal the championship from Shipwreck Kelly. Even girls got into the competition. Ms. Bobby Mack took a deep breath of California atmosphere and stayed up on her Los Angeles perch for almost three weeks. The craziest of all of them was probably Hold' Em Joe Powers, who climbed the flagpole atop the Morrison hotel in Chicago, 637ft above Randolph Street. Attention, please. News flash. Chicago, Illinois, July 25, Oldham. Joe Powers, a dusty, dirty, frazzly, frowzy creature, came down from his flagpole. Six teeth were gone, his legs were swollen. Little needles of nerves burned into the soles of his feet when he tried to walk. His hair was snarled and matted. His beard was long, his face was black, his neck was sunburned. But life had its compensation. Joe had the memory of a record of 16 days, 2 hours and 30 odd minutes on top of the flagpole, which is on top of the roof, which is on top of the tower, which is on top of the Morrison Hotel. And maybe, just maybe, mind you, we can measure the progress of the human race by measuring the distance between the pillar saints of ancient times and the flagpole sitters of today. Just maybe. That's all for this time, friends. This is the reporter of odd facts speaking.