Reporter of Odd Facts xx-xx-xx (04) P's and Q's

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Reporter of Odd Facts (04) "P's and Q's"
Date: October 1, 2025

This episode explores the origins of the common English phrase "mind your P's and Q's." Through rich storytelling, dramatizations, and a touch of humor, the host presents several historical theories about how this phrase entered popular usage, drawing on traditions from the worlds of printing, English pubs, and even the elaborate court customs of France.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Introduction: The Familiar Warning

• The episode opens with the host recalling the phrase:
  "Remember the days when dad said, now, sonny, be a good boy and mind your P's and Q's." (A, 00:00)
• The host notes that "mind your P's and Q's" is a warning to be careful or watch your steps, and acknowledges that historians suggest several possible origins for this expression. (A, 00:07)

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Theory 1: The Printer's Apprentice

• The narrative dramatizes a scene between a master printer (B) and his apprentice, Max (C).
• The master printer warns Max about the easily confused "P" and "Q" metal types:
  "The letters P and Q are just alike. Both little round letters with tails on them. Tail on the left side for P and on the right side for Q. And they're easy to get mixed up. You'll have to mind your P's and Q's." (B, 00:54)
• The phrase thus emerges as practical advice to apprentices learning the painstaking craft of setting type and avoiding costly mistakes.

Notable Quote:
"And that was probably the first warning given to young apprentices starting out to learn the very honorable profession of printing." (A, 01:21)

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Theory 2: English Alehouses

• A comedic reenactment in a bustling English pub illustrates the second theory.
• Bartender (E) keeps tabs on customers' orders using marks—'P' for pint, 'Q' for quart—on a chalkboard:
  • "See, it says Mr. Weaver, P for pint and Q for quart. Then little marks with the chalk after each one...not another pint of ale do you get till you mind your P's and Q's and pay up prop like." (E, 02:01–02:25)
• This explanation suggests the phrase was a warning to customers to settle their tabs before ordering more.

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Theory 3: French Royal Court

• The host shares one last origin story, set in the grand courts of Louis XIV:
  • People attended ceremonies wearing huge wigs and performing elaborate curtsies.
  • The French master of ceremonies would warn guests (in French) to "mind your feet and wigs":
    "Now, it so happens that the French word for feet is pied and for wigs it's queues. And they sound surprisingly like P's and Q's. Hence it is said that the expression was corrupted by the English into 'mind your P's and Q's.'" (A, 03:08)
• The host expresses some skepticism:
  • "I don't think it's any more dependable than the one you've just heard." (A, 02:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the mystery of etymology:
  • "Well, historians give us two or three different theories, so your guess is as good as mine." (A, 00:13)
• On the similarity between P and Q in printing:
  • "You see, lad, the letters P and Q are just alike. Both little round letters with tails on them." (B, 00:54)
• Pub keeper’s logic:
  • "Not another pint of ale do you get till you mind your P's and Q's and pay up prop like." (E, 02:22)
• Linguistic twist:
  • "They sound surprisingly like P's and Q's. Hence it is said that the expression was corrupted by the English into mind your P's and Q's." (A, 03:09)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–00:23 – Introduction: "P's and Q's" as a timeless warning
• 00:23–01:21 – Theory 1: Printing apprentice learns the importance of P's and Q's
• 01:34–02:25 – Theory 2: Alehouse shorthand for pints and quarts
• 02:25–03:09 – Theory 3: French court ceremony, "pied" and "queue"
• 03:09–03:17 – Episode wrap-up

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Episode Tone & Style

• The show features playful, old-fashioned storytelling, with lively character dramatizations and the host’s warm narrative style, reminiscent of classic radio programs. The host maintains a tone of gentle skepticism and curiosity, inviting listeners to appreciate the richness and quirks of language history.

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Conclusion:
With wit and nostalgia, the episode presents the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" as a delightful linguistic puzzle, offering listeners several colorful possible origins while leaving the final choice up to their imagination.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, everybody. Remember the days when dad said, now, sonny, be a good boy and mind your P's and Q's.

[B]

Sure you do.

[A]

You probably say mind your P's and Q's yourself now and then as a warning to be careful or watch your steps. Ever wonder how the phrase originated? Well, historians give us two or three different theories, so your guess is as good as mine. But here's the last bet as to how it started.

[B]

Listen, my boy, printing is a very exacting trade. Now that you're an apprentice, I shall try to teach you everything I know and paper and presses and such. But I'm doubtful that all I know will be enough to make you a good craftsman. Most of it is up to you. Have you been working hard at it this morning?

[C]

Yes, sir. I've been setting up some type from the drawer, sir. Would you like to see what I've done?

[B]

Yes, I would, Max, but you see why. You've set up a whole page, haven't you?

[C]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Well, that's fine. Looks pretty good too. And even. But here's a mistake. And here's another just like it. The letter Q where the letter P belongs. You see, lad, the letters P and Q are just alike. Both little round letters with tails on them. Tail on the left side for P and on the right side for Q. And they're easy to get mixed up. You'll have to mind your P's and Q's.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[A]

And that was probably the first warning given to young apprentices starting out to learn the very honorable profession of printing. Another theory, but not a very creditable one, is that the expression originated in the old English alehouses or pubs.

[B]

In this manner.

[D]

I'll teach you ill conniver.

[E]

It's fast.

[D]

We ought another pint of that orrible aisle of yours. I'll get me white this a day.

[E]

After the next one.

[D]

And then I'll pay you for the whole blooming business.

[E]

Yeah, just one more pint do you get, brother Weaver, You've already had three pints and one fork tonight. And I pints and two forks before this week.

[D]

Bless my crooked old toe locking. How in the devil's name do you keep track of all the pints and corks?

[E]

So chattin like you must have a.

[D]

Brain like a stew marketer.

[E]

Oh, I. I never Trust my brain, Mr. Weaver. I might some all down on the back of the door here. See, it says Mr. Weaver, B for pint and U for quart. Then a little marks with the chalk after each one. For how many you've been a drinking and when you get your wages, not another pint of ale do you get till you mind your P's and q's and pay up prop like.

[A]

And then there's one more explanation recorded by history, but I don't think it's any more dependable than the one you've just heard. According to this theory, the common explanation expression originated in France during the reign of Louis xiv, when persons were presented at the elaborate court functions of this famous French ruler. They wore huge wigs and curtsied very formally. You've seen motion pictures of the complicated costuming and difficult mannerism to those days of royalty. The courtesy itself was quite a maneuver.

[B]

And consisted of a difficult step and.

[A]

Low bend of the body.

[B]

In making the steps and bows, there.

[A]

Was danger that the person being presented would sit and arrange their huge weights. Therefore the master's ceremonies would admonish them. In French, of course, mind your feet and wigs.

[B]

Now, it so happens that the French.

[A]

Word for feet is pied and for wigs it's Q U, E U E s and they sound surprisingly like P's and Q's. Hence it is said that the expression was corrupted by the English into mind your p's and Q's. That's all for now. This is the reporter of odd fact speaking.