Results, Inc 44-10-07 (01) The Haunted House

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: Results, Inc 44-10-07 (01) The Haunted House

Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Original Air Date: October 7, 1944
Featured Cast: Lloyd Nolan (Johnny Strange), Claire Trevor (Theresa Travis)

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic broadcast from the Golden Age detective comedy series Results Incorporated. Private eye Johnny Strange and his newly hired secretary, Theresa Travis, are engaged to find an authentic haunted house for a mystery novelist. Their search for atmospheric spookiness quickly turns real as they stumble upon not just cobwebs but a dangerous, hidden criminal—and a mystery stranger than fiction. The episode blends sharp banter and suspenseful twists, capturing a perfect noir-meets-screwball tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

1. The New Venture and Secretary Search (00:33–03:12)

• Johnny Strange is setting up his new detective "problem-solving" business, Results Incorporated, and places a deliberately flamboyant ad for a secretary.
• Theresa Travis applies, ticking all Johnny's boxes (blonde, between 22 and 28, with a quick wit) and quickly demonstrates her capability and humor.
  • Quote:

    “Now listen, I'm not advertising for a professor of classical literature. I want results, sister. Results.”
    — Johnny Strange (01:17)

• Their rapid-fire banter sets a playful, screwball mood.

2. First Client: The Haunted House Request (03:13–06:50)

• Mrs. Farnsworth, a mystery novelist (pen name Bethany Hesken), hires them to locate a genuinely haunted house—ideally with a ghost and plenty of atmosphere, for inspiration.

• The agreed fee: $200 for swift results.

• Johnny and Terry accept the challenge, with Terry set to photograph options.

  • Quote:

    “Can you find me a haunted house?”
    — Mrs. Farnsworth (05:26)

  • Quote:

    “We'll look around and see what we can find.”
    — Johnny Strange (06:19)

3. Small-Town Secrets: The Barnsdale House (07:01–10:03)

• Johnny and Terry travel to Ashley Junction for leads, encountering a reticent local who spills the legend of the Barnsdale House—site of the murder of Albert Barnsdale by Eddie Carson, now thought haunted.

• Townsfolk avoid the place, citing tales of eerie sounds and supposed ghostly goings-on.

  • Quote:

    “Some folks claim old Albert returned to haunt the place...a couple months ago, then things began to happen. Doors a-banging... like Albert was strangling all over again.”
    — Local Old-Timer (08:18)

4. The Haunted House Investigation (10:03–13:01)

• Johnny and Terry arrive at the decrepit Barnsdale place at night, seeking paranormal "atmosphere."

• They discover a secret panel and passage behind a candlestick. During their exploration, Theresa fears she sees hands reaching out of the darkness—a moment that captures genuine spookiness.

  • Quote:

    “This candlestick opens a moving mantle leading into a secret passageway. Say, Bob Hope couldn't do any better.”
    — Johnny Strange (11:58)

5. Revelations in the Darkroom (13:01–14:35)

• Back at the office, Theresa develops the photos and they spot a menacing figure in the background—realizing it’s Eddie Carson, the escaped killer and supposed haunt of Barnsdale, believed to be dead.

• The lighthearted banter gives way to serious concern as they recognize the danger.

  • Quote:

    “A couple of seconds more and I'd have been a ghost.”
    — Johnny Strange (13:43)

  • Quote:

    “That's Eddie Carson, the killer... he broke out a little over two months ago. Remember? It was in all the papers.”
    — Johnny Strange (13:47)

6. The Capture Plan and Return to the House (15:04–17:43)

• Instead of calling the police, Theresa proposes they catch Carson themselves for the publicity.

• They strategize how to lure Carson, aware he’s both a murderer and unstable.

• Encountering an air raid warden en route, they brave blackout conditions to re-enter Barnsdale for their amateur stakeout.

  • Quote:

    “Think of the publicity: ‘Eddie Carson captured by the president of Results Incorporated!’”
    — Theresa Travis (15:08)

7. Confrontation With Eddie Carson (17:43–22:54)

• Carson captures and locks them in the house, brandishing a lantern and a gun, revealing he is haunted by the murder he committed.
• Theresa cleverly maintains Carson’s attention with flattery, convincing him to pose for camera “portraits” (flashbulbs), hoping the light will alert townsfolk despite the blackout.
  • Quote:

    “Would you like to meet Albert?… I keep him here in this closet ‘til it’s time for me to strangle him again.”
    — Eddie Carson (20:19)

  • Quote:

    “If I’m going to die now, I’d like to die knowing I’ve done something really big in my life… Like taking a picture of Eddie Carson.”
    — Theresa Travis (21:10)

8. Flashbulb Rescue and The Final Struggle (22:54–26:34)

• The flashbulbs do their job: police, seeing the flashes during blackout, storm the house at the last moment.
• Carson panics, attempts to hang Johnny and Terry, but a chaotic fight ensues and Johnny subdues Carson with a flourish worthy of radio drama.
  • Quote:

    “That’s a little trick I picked up in the Marines.”
    — Johnny Strange (25:55)

  • Quote:

    “We’re going to splash him across page one of every paper in the state… With pictures by Theresa Travis and results by Johnny Strange.”
    — Johnny Strange (26:27)

9. Epilogue: The Aftermath & A New Client (26:50–27:57)

• Back at the office, Results Incorporated is lauded in the papers as daring heroes.

• Mrs. Farnsworth returns, delighted with the adventure and eager to pay.

• The final scene: as they answer the phone, news arrives of another prison break—implying more excitement ahead.

  • Quote:

    “We have found you a house that has everything: a murderer, a ghost named Albert, a sliding panel, two attempted murders and a couple of unused graves—and pictures to prove it!”
    — Johnny Strange (27:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Job Interview Flirtation:
  “You can try both, brother. Just try.”
  — Theresa Travis, on whether she meets the ad’s requirements (02:57)

• Sinister Local Lore:
  “Some folks claim old Albert returned to haunt the place. Place wise, nobody will go near the doggone house.”
  — Local old-timer (08:18)

• Theresa’s Quick Thinking:
  “If I’m going to die now, I’d like to die knowing I’ve done something really big in my life....”
  — Theresa Travis (21:10)

• Comedic Close:
  “We’re going to splash him across page one of every paper in the state!”
  — Johnny Strange (26:27)

• Terry’s deadpan:
  “At least it would be exciting...”
  — Theresa Travis, after being locked up by a murderer (24:25)

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Episode Structure with Key Timestamps

| Segment Description | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------|------------------| | Flamboyant ad, secretary interview | 00:33–03:12 | | Mrs. Farnsworth’s haunted house request | 05:08–06:56 | | Townsfolk & haunted house legend | 07:01–10:03 | | The eerie investigation & secret panel | 10:03–13:01 | | Revelation of Carson through photos | 13:01–14:35 | | Plot to catch Carson, air raid warden | 15:04–17:43 | | Carson confrontation, locked in | 17:43–22:54 | | Flashbulb ruse & physical fight | 22:54–26:34 | | Back in office, aftermath, new case | 26:50–27:57 |

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Tone, Style, and Legacy

The episode is a quintessentially witty, fast-paced blend of detective thriller and screwball comedy. Banter between Johnny and Terry brims with double entendres, sly feminism, and rapid, rat-a-tat delivery. The supernatural is quickly supplanted by hardboiled crime, but the playful interplay between the leads ensures the tone remains light—even in peril.

For listeners:
If you love quick-witted detective stories, repartee, and genuine radio suspense (with just a hint of classic camp), this episode is both representative and memorable—a perfect entry into both Results Incorporated and the golden era of radio drama.

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Transcript

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[Johnny Strange]

Presenting Lloyd Nolan and Claire Trevor in a new radio series, Result Incorporated.

[Theresa Travis]

Nothing for you, sir.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, I want to run two ads in your paper. Oh, yes, I want this one in the personal columns, all capital letters.

[Theresa Travis]

Very well. Let's see. Results Incorporated. Your problem is our problem. We'll locate your long lost uncle. Work your crossword puzzles. Hold your baby. Where others fail, we succeed. Contact Johnny Change. Room 201, Security Building. Well, I must say that.

[Johnny Strange]

Now, here's the other ad. Help wanted. Female.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, wanted. Secretary. Blonde, beautiful. Between 22 and 28 years. Unmarried, with a skin you love to touch and a heart you can. Applied. Johnny Strange, Results incorporated. Security building. Mr. Strange, couldn't we make the wording just a little less flamboyant?

[Johnny Strange]

Now listen, I'm not advertising for a professor of classical literature. I want results, sister. Results. Results Incorporated. Johnny Strange speaking. Oh, yeah, the phone works, except nobody calls. Oh, when did you connect it? Oh, just now. Say, I asked for a long extension cord. You know, I. I didn't get it. I like to walk around the room when I'm talking on the phone. I think on my feet, not the seat of my pants or the war. Oh, sure, I understand. No, no, don't mention it. Hello?

[Theresa Travis]

Looks like the sheriff got here first. There is Mother Hubbard cupboard. Now, let's see how it can be improved.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, don't mind me. I just stepped out of the warpath.

[Theresa Travis]

Only one desk and two chairs. Well, we'll certainly need more furniture. And I guess three or four pictures will fix up the walls. And bright orange drapes for the windows.

[Johnny Strange]

Anything wrong with my necktie?

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, it's much too loud. Neat view from the window. I can always look across at the bank clock until lunchtime.

[Johnny Strange]

Okay, it's a good gig. Now, who are you? What do you want?

[Theresa Travis]

You advertise for a secretary, didn't you?

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah.

[Theresa Travis]

All right, where's the coat closet? Now look, sister, I have a secretary. Blonde, beautiful, between 22 and 28.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, that's.

[Theresa Travis]

And I feel all three. So I'm hired.

[Johnny Strange]

Now, hold on, will you? Are you married?

[Theresa Travis]

Nope. Say, haven't you got any coat hangers in this closet?

[Johnny Strange]

No, not yet. How about the skin you love to touch and the heart?

[Theresa Travis]

You can try both, brother. Just try.

[Johnny Strange]

Mm. And the salary?

[Theresa Travis]

25% commission, my hospital bills and bail money.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, you catch you on quick. What's your name?

[Theresa Travis]

Travis. Teresa Travis.

[Johnny Strange]

Okay, Terry. Now, about your references.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, excuse me. Good morning. Results Incorporated. Yes, madam.

[Johnny Strange]

What is that? Customer?

[Theresa Travis]

I think so.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, let me talk to her.

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, madam. Just one moment, please. What's our business?

[Johnny Strange]

Anything. Everything.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, whatever your problem is, we can solve it. Yes, madam. And your name, please? Thank you, Mrs. Farnsworth. Goodbye.

[Johnny Strange]

No, wait, wait, wait. I said to let me talk to her.

[Theresa Travis]

Why should you? I've got the sales personality.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, you got. Now, look, before considering yourself hired, let's hear some of your past tense.

[Theresa Travis]

In chronological order, if you don't mind. Well, let's see. A reporter on hometown paper. Lingerie model.

[Johnny Strange]

Hmm, could be. Well, go ahead.

[Theresa Travis]

Magician's helper. Saw it in half, twice daily, three times on Sunday. Then secretary to a show producer.

[Johnny Strange]

My right. In the lap of the entertainment field.

[Theresa Travis]

No, on the last. And after that, secretary for Results Incorporated.

[Johnny Strange]

Just what makes you think you like to work for me?

[Theresa Travis]

Well, your ad sounded intriguing, and I have a hunch you won't do me any good. But it'll be exciting.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, you're right. Johnny Strange is a cross between a public riot and the seven year rich.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, with chin guards and plea powder, I ought to survive. Now, let's hear your true confessions.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, at 17, slide trombone player at Haley's Traveling Circus. News reporter for one. Winter deckhand on a freighter to South America. Detective. And then this.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, the man is versatile.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah. You got any hobbies?

[Theresa Travis]

Yes. Photography and murder mystery stories. I read them by the hour.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, no, not in my time, you don't. You pretty good with the camera?

[Theresa Travis]

Less than worse.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, I guess you'll do. But only for a. I be your pardon.

[Theresa Travis]

An onion fruity?

[Johnny Strange]

No, not at all.

[Theresa Travis]

Mister. Is this result incorporated? In person. Oh. Oh, then your journey. Strange. I'm Mrs. Farnsworth, I call it. Oh, yes, Mrs. Farnsworth. Oh, please come in.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, come in. Won't you take this chair, Mrs. Farnsworth?

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, thank you. Thank you. Oh, I do hope I came to the right place. When I read your ad this morning, I thought perhaps you might be able to help me.

[Johnny Strange]

Results guarantee, Mrs. Farnsworth. Now, what can we do for you?

[Theresa Travis]

Well, can you find me a haunted house Absolutely.

[Johnny Strange]

There's nothing too hot. Hey, did you say a haunted house?

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, sir. You see, I write mystery stories, and I read atmosphere quite badly. Oh, you write mystery stories. How interesting. But I don't place your name, Mrs. Farnsworth. Well, you see, I use a pen name. Bethany Hesken. Joel Beverly Hesken. Why, then you wrote murder and fables. Oh, it was so lovely and gruesome. I couldn't keep a thing on my stomach all the time I was reading it. Oh, it was wonderful. Oh, Johnny, we've got to help her. I've been to a number of real estate agents, but they won't take me seriously when I ask to rent a haunted house.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, do you want it with or without clanking chains?

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, I want everything. And if possible, no near neighbors.

[Johnny Strange]

Anything else?

[Theresa Travis]

I would prefer a ghost of a murdered person.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, well, all right, Mrs. Farnsworth. We'll look around and see what we can find.

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, and I'll take snapshots of the places so you can decide which looks the most promising. Oh, that would be splendid. And when would you let me know?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, you can check with us a day after tomorrow.

[Theresa Travis]

Then I'll see you on Thursday afternoon. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, Mrs. Farnsworth, is one thing more. We didn't set a fee, you know.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, so we didn't. Would $200 be all right?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, I. Yes, I think so. That is, if it doesn't take more than two days.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, good. Good. Then goodbye, Auntie.

[Johnny Strange]

Goodbye.

[Theresa Travis]

Goodbye. Goodbye, Mrs. Farnsworth.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, caring, my girl. Results Incorporated is now a going business.

[Theresa Travis]

Yes, if we get a personal introduction to a ghost. I don't get it. We hear there's a haunted house here in Ashley Junction, and when we get here, nobody seems to know about it.

[Johnny Strange]

I got a hunch they know about it, all right. The way we act, they act when we ask them.

[Theresa Travis]

Why won't they tell us anything?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, maybe they're scared. Say, how about trying the old geezer sitting on the curb over there?

[Theresa Travis]

Well, I suppose one more won't kill us.

[Johnny Strange]

Afternoon, Skipper. Eh, We. We understand there's a haunted house in these parts. You know about it?

[Theresa Travis]

A real haunted house or a reasonable facsimile of the same? Ever been in a haunted house? No, no, and the Barnsdale place ain't for you.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, the Barnsdale place, huh? Said Gummet went and told. Hey, where is this place?

[Theresa Travis]

I don't know. As ought to tell. Folks hereabouts pretty worried over the Goings Island.

[Johnny Strange]

They and me Well, I guess nobody.

[Theresa Travis]

Can touch what I know. Oh, lovely. Oh, you'll tell us though, won't you? Well, please.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, promise you won't tell us all.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, we promise. Well, I. Well, about seven years ago, Albert Barnsdale was murdered. Yes, sir. Strangled, he was. Some folks claim old Albert returned to haunt the place. Place wise.

[Johnny Strange]

Nobody will go near the doggone house.

[Theresa Travis]

I was sort of caretaker until a couple months ago.

[Johnny Strange]

Then things began to happen. Doors. A banging and sneezing sounds.

[Theresa Travis]

Only Albert was succeeding. He was strangling all over again. I tell you, it was more than a bullet could stand. Johnny, it sounds perfect.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah. Say, where is this place? Apartment.

[Theresa Travis]

Why? Three, four miles out.

[Johnny Strange]

The old Hadley Road, remember?

[Theresa Travis]

You promise though. Real estaters would run me out of the country if I got to win.

[Johnny Strange]

That spot and sale for them.

[Theresa Travis]

You can trust us. Come on, Johnny. Come on.

[Johnny Strange]

And thanks, partner. Say, if we have any luck, I'll drop you a ghost card.

[Theresa Travis]

Ain't no joke matter.

[Johnny Strange]

Come.

[Theresa Travis]

Nice, Paul. You wish you weren't another part of the country back there. Because I know I can hang around. I wish our headlights were brighter, Johnny.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, the old duffer didn't exaggerate. This drive would give Carlos the jitters.

[Theresa Travis]

You know, I don't mind visiting haunted houses, but why in the middle of the night, Ms.

[Johnny Strange]

This Farnsworth wants atmosphere. How you're gonna get in the mood at high noon.

[Theresa Travis]

Okay, so we stumble through the house in pitch dark and keep a tally card on our goose pimples.

[Johnny Strange]

No, it won't be pitch dark. I got a flashlight. No. Hey, Skit.

[Theresa Travis]

No, not me. But I don't like to do things the hard way, that's all. Oh, don't look now, but I think we're at the end of the trail.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah. Yeah, this must be it.

[Theresa Travis]

Hallelujah. Woo. This is the answer to our prayers, all right. A broken down house, dark looking trees and not a neighboring miles.

[Johnny Strange]

You, you got your camera and the flashbulbs?

[Theresa Travis]

Yep, all set. Let's remember these creaking stairs when we report to Mrs. Farnsworth.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, well, might as well find out if there's any ghosts in the home.

[Theresa Travis]

No, don't be silly. Open the door and go in.

[Johnny Strange]

Okay. Boy, this is atmosphere for you. $36 an ounce variety.

[Theresa Travis]

You mean 18, scarab.

[Johnny Strange]

Now, that's all. Come on. Better get a picture.

[Theresa Travis]

All right. Quicker than you can say Albert Barnsdale.

[Johnny Strange]

That's good. Now let's get one of this old staircase before it tumbles down.

[Theresa Travis]

You know, I'm disappointed Albert ought to be floating down it in a haze of blue light. In a baritone moon. Well, now, that's more like it. This camera will geared for sound.

[Johnny Strange]

Flashbulb makes a lot of light. Must be the library. Minus the books.

[Theresa Travis]

Look at the cobwebs in the dust. No wonder Albert goes around sneezing. God bless you.

[Johnny Strange]

I didn't sneeze.

[Theresa Travis]

You didn't sneeze? Look, Johnny, let's get a picture of this room and go home. What are you doing with that candlestick?

[Johnny Strange]

I thought I'd like to take it home as a souvenir. Can't get that darn thing off the mantel. Stuck or built in or something.

[Theresa Travis]

What's that?

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, the mantel's moving.

[Theresa Travis]

Donnie. Donnie, look.

[Johnny Strange]

How do you like that? That candlestick opens a moving mantle leading into a secret passageway. Say, Bob Hope couldn't do any better.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny, I don't like it. It's perfect.

[Johnny Strange]

Mrs. Farnsworth will kiss us for this.

[Theresa Travis]

You're not going into that hole in the wall, are you?

[Johnny Strange]

Here, look. Now, if you just take a picture of it for Mrs. Farnsworth. Say, if this doesn't sell her nothing. Well, I'll stand here right by the side of the passageway. You snap the two of us.

[Theresa Travis]

All right. Ready? Let it go, Johnny.

[Johnny Strange]

Don't do that.

[Theresa Travis]

Dotty, get away from there, quick. What is it, Johnny? Quick.

[Johnny Strange]

Now, look, honey, don't let your nerves.

[Theresa Travis]

I thought I saw two hands reach for you right out of the wall. And then, the most horrible.

[Johnny Strange]

The second act of Results Incorporated. Starring Claire Trevor as Theresa Travis and Lloyd Nolan as Johnny Strange finds Terry and Johnny in the clothes closet of their new office. It has been converted into a dark room. At this moment, Johnny and Terry are anxiously waiting the outcome of the pictures taken the night before. Those pictures ready yet?

[Theresa Travis]

No, you'll have to look at them in the tray here.

[Johnny Strange]

Okay, let's see. There's the staircase. There's a library. And there's a. Hey, Terry, look.

[Theresa Travis]

What? What's wrong?

[Johnny Strange]

That shot of a secret panel. You know when you screamed those hands in the face. Yeah.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, I wasn't seeing things.

[Johnny Strange]

A couple of seconds more and I'd have been a ghost.

[Theresa Travis]

But who is it? What is it?

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, wait a minute. I've seen that face in a newspaper or a magazine or something. Say, I know now. It's Eddie Carson, the killer. Remember? They had him in the insane asylum. But he broke out a little over two months ago. Remember? It was in all the papers.

[Theresa Travis]

But why is he hiding in The Barnsdale place?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, he must have figured nobody gone near it. If they heard anything strange or got suspicious, they'd chalk it up to Albert. Hey, hey, wait. Now I remember why they put Eddie Carson away. He's the nut who strangled old Albert Barnsdale. Now we're getting someplace.

[Theresa Travis]

What are you going to do?

[Johnny Strange]

I'm gonna phone the police.

[Theresa Travis]

No, no, wait, wait. We've got something big here. The police all over the state have been searching for Carson. Eddie Carson. Now, if we were to capture him.

[Johnny Strange]

Now, honey, you shouldn't drink that film.

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[Theresa Travis]

Oh, listen, you big galoot. It would make us think of the publicity. Eddie Carson captured by the president of Results Incorporated. How would that look on the front page?

[Johnny Strange]

You know, sweetheart, I think you've got something.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, then we'll do it.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, but don't ask me how.

[Theresa Travis]

And don't forget, Eddie Carson is more than a murderer. He's insane.

[Johnny Strange]

He's got nothing on us. Come on.

[Theresa Travis]

Right now?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, sure. There's no time to lose. Carson might duck out after seeing us. And besides, no more night work for me. I'm gonna do my capturing in broad daylight when I can see what I'm.

[Theresa Travis]

You would have only an A book?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, the meter read a quarter of a tank full when we left. Anyway, we only got a short way to go.

[Theresa Travis]

That's. Well, except for one thing. In another half hour, it'll be darker than a stack of black cats.

[Johnny Strange]

Well, we can't wait till morning. Carson might clear out. Then where do we be?

[Theresa Travis]

Alive.

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, look, there's a car coming.

[Theresa Travis]

That's a fine time. We're practically there.

[Johnny Strange]

Honey. Partner. Hey, that's your car back down the road, Pete. Yeah, I guess so. Well, you better gas it up and.

[Theresa Travis]

Get out of these parts. Why?

[Johnny Strange]

Well, we're having a practice blackout tonight. No driving after dark. Except for us Air raid warden.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, are you an air aid warden?

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, that's my helmet in the back seat. What are you folks up to? Why, we were thinking of renting the Barnsdale place. You know, we thought we'd look it over. I don't know what you'd want that place for. Nobody's lived there in years.

[Theresa Travis]

How about Albert the Spook?

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, Folly, Dawdle. Everybody in town believes in Albert, but.

[Theresa Travis]

They poo poo me when I say Ashley Junction may have an air raid. Well, I better be getting on the way. Remember, no light. Blackout starts right after sundown.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, so long, partner.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, there goes our last call contact with civilization. Now all we have to do is sneak up and sort the birdie's tail check. How? Or is it a trade secret?

[Johnny Strange]

Strategy, my pet. We'll use finesse on Mr. Carson.

[Theresa Travis]

What kind of finesse?

[Johnny Strange]

You get him to focus his attention in your direction, I'll do the rest.

[Theresa Travis]

I see. While I show him my vaccination mark. You'll con him.

[Johnny Strange]

You're positively psychic. Now quiet down. Don't make any noise.

[Theresa Travis]

Okay, okay. Now is the time for good news to come to the end of the party.

[Johnny Strange]

Stop mumbling. I know you can type.

[Theresa Travis]

Careful with that flashlight. Oh.

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, come on, let's head for that library on the secret panel.

[Theresa Travis]

Jumping junipers. Listen to this floor. Ow. Johnny, quiet.

[Johnny Strange]

I tripped over a blasted shovel.

[Theresa Travis]

Shovel? Well, what is it doing here?

[Johnny Strange]

What's the difference? Come on.

[Theresa Travis]

Do you think he's hurt us?

[Johnny Strange]

I don't know. Yeah, the library should be on the other side of this door here. Now take my hand. Keep close. Don't make it. Oh.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, Johnny, the flashlight. What? Oh.

[Johnny Strange]

Terry. Come on, snap on him. Terry. Terry, are you all right?

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, my head. What happened?

[Johnny Strange]

Listen, beautiful, we're locked up. We're cooped.

[Theresa Travis]

Eddie Carson?

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, he slugged us and then he locked us in this storeroom.

[Theresa Travis]

Where's your flashlight?

[Johnny Strange]

It's gone.

[Theresa Travis]

Is there any way out?

[Johnny Strange]

No, I haven't found one.

[Theresa Travis]

How about a window?

[Johnny Strange]

It's barred.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny, what are we gonna do?

[Johnny Strange]

I don't know.

[Theresa Travis]

How long do you think we've been here?

[Johnny Strange]

I don't know. I can't see any light in the village, so they must have started the blackout.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny, Johnny, listen.

[Johnny Strange]

The gentleman brings a lantern and a gun. Couldn't keep away from me, could you?

[Theresa Travis]

We don't see many celebrities like you, Mr. Carson.

[Johnny Strange]

Huh? I guess you're doing it. That I'm about the most famous guy around here. Hey, watch that there on the floor.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, that's my camera.

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, I felt a breeze from that one. I thought I saw something moving in the shadows. I hate shadows. They sneak up on you. Well, you're scared of Albert, huh? No, no, not Albert. He's dead. I stood Strangled him seven years ago. Made a nice grave for him, too. And then I dug him up. Would you like to meet Albert? Well, why not? Sure. Sure?

[Theresa Travis]

Yeah, sure.

[Johnny Strange]

I. I keep him here in this closet till it's time for me to strangle him again. Say hello to everybody, Al. Go on, say hello.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny. Johnny, the closet's empty.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, so's my head for getting you into this mess. Now that you've met Albert, I think I can keep all of you in the same closet. You can talk to each other till the graves are dug.

[Theresa Travis]

Graves?

[Johnny Strange]

You didn't think I'd leave you lay around on top, didn't you? I. I was brought up decent, Terry. The finesse.

[Theresa Travis]

The what? The act.

[Johnny Strange]

Given up business.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh. Oh, yes. Mr. Carson. Mr. Carson, please don't go yet.

[Johnny Strange]

Why?

[Theresa Travis]

I want you to pose for a portrait.

[Johnny Strange]

Portrait?

[Theresa Travis]

Yes. If I'm going to die now, I'd like to die knowing I've done something really big in my life. Like taking the picture of Eddie Carson? Yes, yes. Bring your lantern and stand over there by the window. Well, I've never seen a good picture of you, Mr. Carson. You know, you're much handsomer than those pictures in the paper.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, of course. Now, come on, let's get over to the window here and pose. This is going to be something special, okay?

[Johnny Strange]

Sure, if it's going to be something special. Say, can I have the pillow when it's done?

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, of course you can. And whenever you look at it, I hope you remember little Terry. Oh, just wonderful.

[Johnny Strange]

Hey, this is getting monotonous. I can't help it. I can't help it. I don't like shadows.

[Theresa Travis]

Now, Mr. Carson, please, I can't take your picture if you're gonna move around.

[Johnny Strange]

All right, all right. I won't look at the shadows.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, that's a boy. Now, don't get scared when my camera makes a big light.

[Johnny Strange]

And if you have any reflexes, watch where you point that gun.

[Theresa Travis]

Okay. Okay, here we go. That was fun.

[Johnny Strange]

Do it again. Do it again.

[Theresa Travis]

This time get my profile.

[Johnny Strange]

I've got a swell profile.

[Theresa Travis]

All right, you're the boss. Just give me a second to fit in another bulb. Here.

[Johnny Strange]

Here, Eddie, put on my necktie. It'll make you look nice. Get back in the corner. I don't like things around my neck. You know, I was just thinking, Albert had the strangest look on his face when I strangled him the first time he gurgled his eyes. His eyes. Say, I ought to have everything in keeping. Instead of shooting, I could hang you two.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, by all means, hang us now. Just one more picture and then I'm out of flashbulb.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, shucks.

[Theresa Travis]

You know, I read of an interesting strangling once. The murderer tossed a rope over the limb of a tree and tied a man to each end of the rope. And when they tried to struggle, they strangled each other. It was marvelous. Really. Well, I'm all set. Hold it now. There you are.

[Johnny Strange]

Tossed a rope over the limb of a tree, huh? Hey, that's a good idea. I'll do that to you. I never tried that one. I'll be back. I'll be back. I gotta get those graves stuck and find some rope. That's nice going, pal. You finessed us up good.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, well, I was only making conversation. Besides, what about you? I thought you were gonna slip Carson the old Johnny Strange one too. I gave you the opportunity.

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, yeah, with him taking pot shots at shadows every two seconds.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, anyway, let's hope it works.

[Johnny Strange]

Let's hope? What are you talking about?

[Theresa Travis]

The flashbulbs, genius. Those flashes must have been seen in the village. We're in a blackout, remember?

[Johnny Strange]

Now, listen, sugar, everybody in Ashley Junction is so pieite scared of this joint, they wouldn't come near it if you hung out a neon sign reading charcoal broiled steaks. Hmm. Well, I hope he makes my grave long enough. I never could sleep with my knees tucked under my chin.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah?

[Theresa Travis]

What? What do we do?

[Johnny Strange]

I don't know. Oh, well, Gary. Dad, I'm awfully sorry I got you in this jam.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, that's all right, Johnny. I said you wouldn't do me any good, but. Well, at least it would be exciting.

[Johnny Strange]

You ought to get 25% of everything we took in. Looks like you're gonna get 50% of this little hanging party.

[Theresa Travis]

Haven't you got any more strategy? Up your sleeves in it.

[Johnny Strange]

Fresh out, but I'll go down. Step out with your hands in the air. Now. You can't get away with this, Carson. Look who's telling who. Come on, get going. I'm gonna get a bang out of it. I never seen two guys hang each other before. What's that? Hey.

[Theresa Travis]

Hey, in there. What's going on?

[Johnny Strange]

Who's that? The police, Eddie. They got your corner. The police? How did they know I was here? Don't you remember those flash bulbs when your picture was taken? That was a signal to close in. Yeah, well, they haven't got me yet. And I'll get you before they get me. Hey, there's another shadow. Look out behind you.

[Theresa Travis]

Darn this.

[Johnny Strange]

A lot of bullets.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny, be careful.

[Johnny Strange]

I'll kill you with my fist. Oh, you will? I'll kill you. Yeah, that's one I picked up from an old sea captain. I'll get you with my fist. Here's one I learned. You learned when you're a cop.

[Theresa Travis]

And.

[Johnny Strange]

At the top of the office, a little trick of pickup in the Marines.

[Theresa Travis]

Here.

[Johnny Strange]

Oops a daisy.

[Theresa Travis]

Johnny, you all right?

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, sure. He just about chewed on off my ear.

[Theresa Travis]

Hey, what's going on in here? Who fired them shots? Jose, you saw my slashes?

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, a perfect blackout. Except for your broom and house party. Say, what's that you're sitting on? A gent. Name? Eddie Carson. Eddie Carson.

[Theresa Travis]

Not Z. Yes, sir, partner. The Eddie Carson. Well, what are you going to do with him?

[Johnny Strange]

We're going to splash him across page one of every paper in the state.

[Theresa Travis]

With pictures by Theresa Travis and results by Johnny Strange.

[Johnny Strange]

Results Incorporated. Satisfaction guaranteed.

[Theresa Travis]

Police state that Carlson was on the point of murdering both Ms. Travis and Johnny Strange and had already prepared their graves when Strange gave battle. And after a hard struggle, overpowered.

[Johnny Strange]

Listen. Listen to this in the Herald. Mad killer captured by daring couple Eddie Carson. Outwitted by pair of house hunters John Strange and Theresa Travis, President and secretary, respectively, of the organization known as Results Incorporated.

[Theresa Travis]

With hope I'm not intruding again. Oh, Mrs. Farnsworth. How are you children today?

[Johnny Strange]

Oh, we're present and voting.

[Theresa Travis]

Have you got that house for me yet?

[Johnny Strange]

Mr. Farnsworth, we have found you a house that has everything. There's a murderer, a ghost named Albert, a sliding panel, two attempted murderers and a couple of unused graves and pictures to prove it.

[Theresa Travis]

Oh, how perfect. Then I'll give you my check right now. Oh, well. Oh, excuse me.

[Johnny Strange]

I get a pen.

[Theresa Travis]

Results Incorporated. Yes. What? Oh, one moment, please. Johnny.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah?

[Theresa Travis]

It's the state penitentiary. They've just had a prison break. What's our price? Wholesale.

[Johnny Strange]

Lloyd and Claire. You certainly had us worried there for a minute. Say, what have you on tab for next week? Another comedy Mystery. Well, mystery. Yes. Comedy.

[Theresa Travis]

Well, you see, in our next story, Lloyd, or that is, Johnny Strange has a most amazing adventure.

[Johnny Strange]

Yeah, it all starts out when a guy named Trezona hires us to locate his brother. Now, in tracking him down, Johnny can't.

[Theresa Travis]

Resist a late afternoon cocktail. So he stops in a local pub and orders a drink.

[Johnny Strange]

And the next thing I know, I'm on the floor, the place is deserted, a gun is in my hand and a dead policeman is lying beside me.

[Theresa Travis]

And solving the mystery of what happens in that blank period from the time Johnny takes the drink and when he wakes up with a gun in his hand proves to be one of the most exciting experiences ever encountered by Results Incorporated.

[Johnny Strange]

Appearing in our cast tonight were Wally Mayer, Dave Benaderis, Joe Kearns and Dick Ryan. Music was by Felix Mills. The script was written by Leonard Sinclair and Bill Hampton is the editor. Our thanks to all of them and our thanks to you for listening. This is Henry Shaw speaking.

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