
Rochester Show 50-02-18 Willie Johnson's Big Deal
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Rochester Van Jones
Franco American cannot beat Franco American. Just can't beat Franco American. Nine out of ten will agree.
Bob Stevenson
Yes. Franco American, the spaghetti nine out of ten prefer Brings you the Rochester show, starring eddie Anderson.
Rochester Van Jones
Hello, Mr. Bennet, it's Rochester. I hate to ask you, but I'm behind on my apartment rent. Yes, I know what Shakespeare said about money. He who steals my purse steals trash. Well, you owe me six weeks back. Trash.
Bob Stevenson
Do you know how easy it is to make a meal of leftovers, look and taste extra special? Simply add a side dish of Franco American spaghetti. It's ready in five minutes and so delicious that nine out of ten who try it prefer Franco American to any other ready to serve spaghetti. Only the finest spaghetti goes into Franco American. Then it's cooked in a sauce that contains 11 choice ingredients. Be a wonder. Thousands of families serve Franco American spaghetti exclusively instead of the home cooked kind. Try it yourself. Franco American, the spaghetti preferred by 9 out of 10 who taste it. And now we go to the Jefferson Boulevard apartment of Rochester Van Jones. It's his day off from duties at the Jack Benny household, so we find him in a cheerful mood. As he stands before the mirror shaving, his rich baritone rings out.
Rochester Van Jones
My heart knows what the wild goose knows. My heart goes where the wild goose goes. Mother Goose, Brother. Uh oh, I cut my chin again. Every day I cut my chin in the same place. Oh, well, that's the way Cary Grant got his start. Come in.
Fred
Here's your suit from the dry cleaners, Rochester.
Rochester Van Jones
Wait a minute, Fred. You're supposed to have two of my suits. One's missing.
Fred
I know. Mr. Bennett came and got it. Mister.
Rochester Van Jones
God darn it, if he keeps picking up his own suits, I won't have a thing to wear.
Fred
Uh, say, Rochester, I think your landlady, Mrs. Calloway is on her way up here again for a rent.
Rochester Van Jones
Why doesn't she leave me alone? Whatever Mr. Bennett gives me, I turn over to her. All I am is a middle man in the local Marshall Plan.
Fred
Well, Rod Chelsea, you know it ain't only the money. Mrs. Calloway is sweet on you.
Rochester Van Jones
Mrs. Calloway weighs 200 pounds. She ought to lay off sweets.
Fred
Well, what's the matter with having a 200 pound girlfriend?
Rochester Van Jones
I like small packages. I don't buy bulk.
Fred
Well, it can't be thankful she likes you or you'd been kicked out of your apartment long ago.
Mrs. Calloway
All right, sister.
Fred
Uh oh, there's Ms. Calloway now. See that look on her face?
Rochester Van Jones
Oh, that's love. It is? Well, don't Let it get around. It might make the whole thing unpopular.
Fred
See you next time.
Mrs. Calloway
Well, Rochester, I'm glad I found you.
Rochester Van Jones
In now, Mrs. Calloway. Jenny, you don't want to spoil a beautiful day for both of us.
Mrs. Calloway
I don't want any of your soft soap, Rochester. I want hard cash, Jenny.
Rochester Van Jones
And may I call you Mrs. Calloway? I will pay every penny. I'm expecting some money from the government.
Mrs. Calloway
Money from the government?
Rochester Van Jones
Yes. Social Security when I'm 65.
Mrs. Calloway
Roger, I'm tired of this stalling.
Rochester Van Jones
I'm going to evict you, Mrs. Calloway. And may I call you Jenny? You wouldn't do that. Think of it. Evicted? Picture me out on that sidewalk surrounded by my furniture.
Mrs. Calloway
You haven't got no furniture.
Rochester Van Jones
You've got me out on the sidewalk. At least let me be comfortable.
Mrs. Calloway
And another thing, I get sick and tired of taking messages from your low brow girlfriend.
Rochester Van Jones
They're not low brow. You ought to see my new girlfriend in a bathing suit. There ain't a single tattooing on her that isn't from the old masters.
Mrs. Calloway
Rochester, haven't you ever thought of finding the right woman and sending down and getting married?
Rochester Van Jones
No, Jenny, I don't think I'm quite ready for combat duty.
Mrs. Calloway
Don't you believe that stuff. Why the late Mr. Calloway and me never had a single fight in our whole married life.
Rochester Van Jones
You didn't? What's the secret? How did you and Mr. Calloway have such a peaceful marriage?
Mrs. Calloway
I outweighed him by £40 and he was a coward.
Rochester Van Jones
Well Jenny, I've got to finish dressing. And don't worry about the rent. I've got an appointment with Willie Johnson at the cigar store. Says he's got a big deal cooking.
Mrs. Calloway
That Willie Johnson is a no good loafer and he'll only get you into trouble.
Rochester Van Jones
You're wrong, Jenny. Willie's smart. He's got parts of his head he hasn't even used yet.
Mrs. Calloway
Yeah, and that goes for his whole head. He's just a fast talking promoter, Jenny.
Rochester Van Jones
Why Willie's full of good ideas. He would have thought of the H bomb but he just couldn't think of the letter. I'll see you later.
Ramsay
Package. Cigarettes. Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Come in again. Uh oh, here. Here come that no good Willie Johnson. He's always mooching. I better get rid of this change.
Willie Johnson
Oh man, what sweet music. That's the sweetest music inside of heaven.
Ramsay
What are you staring at, Willie Johnson?
Willie Johnson
The cash register boy. The cash register.
Ramsay
Well it ain't Gonna do you no good. This is a cigar store, not a piggy bank. Willie, why don't you get yourself a job?
Willie Johnson
You mean work?
Ramsay
Yeah, I mean work.
Willie Johnson
You mean get up early in the morning and get home late at night?
Ramsay
Yeah, I mean get up early in the morning and get home late at night.
Willie Johnson
You mean physical manual labor?
Ramsay
Yeah, I mean physical manual labor.
Willie Johnson
You just talked me out of it.
Ramsay
Willie Johnson, you the laziest man I know. I watched you once, and you wouldn't even brush a flyer off your nose. You just sat there hoping he'd hear a mating call.
Willie Johnson
Well, don't you worry your little head about Willie Johnson. I got a big deal cooking right now.
Ramsay
Good lord, Lord, don't tell me you're gonna sell the golden gate bridge again.
Willie Johnson
No, don't be silly. I lost the lease, Ramsay. If this idea of mine goes through, I'll be rich. Now all I got to do is to get Rochester to work with me on this deal.
Ramsay
Rochester? What's he got to do with this?
Willie Johnson
Everything. He's got connections. He works for Mr. Benny.
Ramsay
Working for Mr. Benny ain't a connection. That's a short circ. Well, well, well, if it ain't Mr. Rochester Van Jones.
Rochester Van Jones
Hello, Ramsay. Hello, Willie.
Willie Johnson
Friend Rochester, it certainly relaxes my eyeballs to catch sight of my very bestest ally in this whole world. It does my poor heart good to gaze at a man so bright, handsome, charming, healthy and wealthy.
Rochester Van Jones
Uh, I got a feeling this is gonna cost me, Willie. As Julius Caesar said, vinnie, Vinnie Vinci. I came, I saw her, and I'm gonna get out of here fast.
Ramsay
Yeah, and if one of you don't buy something worthwhile in a minute, both of you gonna get out here fast.
Rochester Van Jones
Well, all right, Ramsey, I'll take 15 of the usual cigars.
Ramsay
Why, Mr. Van Jones, I thank you. Here are your 15 cigars.
Rochester Van Jones
You're welcome. And here's your dime.
Ramsay
Thank you. And here's your nickel chain.
Rochester Van Jones
Now, Willie, I'm a pretty busy boy. What's on your mind?
Willie Johnson
Well, Rochester, I got a scheme that's gonna make us both rich.
Rochester Van Jones
I hear you, friend Willie, your pockets.
Willie Johnson
Is gonna bulge with that green stove.
Rochester Van Jones
I hear you, friend Willie, you was.
Willie Johnson
Gonna be up there in a high bracket.
Rochester Van Jones
I hear you, friend Willie.
Willie Johnson
Now all you got to do is to ask a small favor of Jack Benny.
Rochester Van Jones
Uh. Oh, I just went deep in both ears.
Willie Johnson
But, friend Rochester, this sure fire.
Rochester Van Jones
Willie, I hereby tender my resignation from your corporation.
Willie Johnson
Oh, Rochester, I ain't farmed a corporation yet.
Rochester Van Jones
That's all right. Willie, my resignation will keep tender until you do.
Willie Johnson
Rochester, have you ever known any of my ideas to fail?
Rochester Van Jones
All of your ideas fail.
Willie Johnson
Now, there you are. I'm backing a thousand percent.
Rochester Van Jones
Okay, I'll listen to your scheme, Willie, but only with one ear. The other one's for backing out.
Willie Johnson
Rochester, I found us the most beautiful, gorgeous girl by the name of Clooney Watson who should be in pictures.
Rochester Van Jones
How beautiful.
Willie Johnson
Well, friend Rochester, just take the eyes of Lena Horne, the nose of Hetty Lamar, the legs of Betty Grable and the chassis of Jane Russell. Now, you take all them things and put them together and what you got?
Rochester Van Jones
Mmm, good.
Willie Johnson
Rochester, you and I is gonna be Clooney's agents. And whatever she makes, we is gonna split 50.
Rochester Van Jones
50. But that ain't right, Willie. If you take 50% and I take 50%, how will Clooney eat?
Willie Johnson
She lives with her mother.
Rochester Van Jones
It ain't right for us to divide that girl's money up. 50. 50 I'm gonna take. I'm gonna give Clooney 40%. And I'm just gonna take 10%.
Willie Johnson
Yeah. And to show you I'm the right sort of a guy, Rochester, I'm gonna let you. Now, all you have to do is to persuade Jack Benny to do you a favor and get Clooney Watson an interview at movie studio.
Rochester Van Jones
I don't know, Willie. Mr. Benny and I have a unique type of relationship. At no time do we ever discuss favors, politics or the horn blows at midnight. I'm afraid I can't help you.
Clooney Watson
Well, hello there, Willie.
Willie Johnson
Well, if this ain't a prearranged coincidence. Now, as we talk, who should walk in but the lovely Miss Clooney Watson? Now, last year, Miss Watson was voted by the boys down at the YMCA as the girl for whom they'd like most to fall out of a window whistling at Clooney. Say hello to friend Rochester.
Clooney Watson
Hello, friend Rochester. I said hello.
Willie Johnson
Hey, Rochester, don't just stand there with your mouth open. Say something.
Rochester Van Jones
Close my mouth so I can open it again.
Clooney Watson
Tell me, Rochester, what do you do?
Rochester Van Jones
Name it.
Mrs. Calloway
Clooney.
Willie Johnson
You'll have to help me convince Rochester to get you into pictures.
Clooney Watson
I have no idea how to convince him, Rochester. I just know you'll do everything you can to help me. Because you're so sweet, you're charming, you're an angel.
Rochester Van Jones
Keep going. If you run out of words, I'll help Rochester.
Clooney Watson
If I get into pictures, I'll be so grateful. Do you think you can?
Rochester Van Jones
I don't know, but it's sure Going to be a lot of fun trying.
Bob Stevenson
Hey, Rochester, That Clooney is quite attractive, isn't she?
Rochester Van Jones
Yes, sir.
Bob Stevenson
Wow.
Rochester Van Jones
And other expressions of glee.
Bob Stevenson
Oh, you kind of fallen, huh, Mr.
Rochester Van Jones
Stevenson, the last time I saw a dish as tasty as that, it was a plate of Franco American spaghetti.
Bob Stevenson
Ah, now you're talking my language. Franco American spaghetti. It's so delicious that 9 out of 10 who taste it prefer Franco American to any other ready to serve spaghetti. And thousands who once served nothing but the home cooked kind now serve Franco American spaghetti exclusively. And you know why? No home cooked spaghetti tastes quite like Franco American. You see, Franco American starts with the best spaghetti money can buy. Then it's cooked with a sauce made of 11 different ingredients, including generous helpings of the finest aged sharp cheddar cheese and luscious red sun ripened tomatoes. Even if you knew the secret recipe and could get all of the best ingredients, you still couldn't prepare a spaghetti of comparable quality at anywhere near the price. Yes, Franco American costs less to serve than the home cooked kind. Stock up tomorrow. Ask for a half dozen cans of Franco American, the spaghetti preferred by 9 out of 10 who taste it.
Mrs. Calloway
Rochester, do you really think you can get a girl into pictures?
Rochester Van Jones
Yes, Jimmy, I think I can.
Mrs. Calloway
Well then, do you think you can get me into pictures?
Rochester Van Jones
Yes, Jimmy, but with you it'll have to be a double feature.
Bob Stevenson
Listen in tomorrow to the Rochester show starring Eddie Anderson, brought to you this same time every night, Tuesday through Saturday, by Franco American Sports Spaghetti. The Rochester show is directed by Tony Stanford and written by Charlie Isaacs, Hal Goodman and Ben Starr. This is Bob Stevenson speaking. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Podcast Summary: Rochester Show 50-02-18 Willie Johnson's Big Deal
Podcast Information:
"Rochester Show 50-02-18 Willie Johnson's Big Deal" is a delightful installment from Harold's Old Time Radio, bringing to life the charming antics of Rochester Van Jones. Set against the backdrop of the 1950s, this episode masterfully intertwines humor, social commentary, and engaging character dynamics, capturing the essence of pre-television family entertainment.
The episode centers around Rochester Van Jones, a witty and resourceful character navigating his daily life with a mix of humor and earnestness. The storyline unfolds as Rochester deals with financial strains, particularly falling behind on apartment rent, while juggling relationships with his landlady, Mrs. Calloway, and his friend Willie Johnson, who presents a seemingly lucrative but questionable business idea.
Rochester Van Jones:
Fred:
Mrs. Calloway:
Willie Johnson:
Clooney Watson:
Ramsay:
**[00:00 - 04:12] **
The episode kicks off with Rochester lamenting his overdue apartment rent to Mr. Bennet, showcasing his witty banter through a Shakespearean quote: "He who steals my purse steals trash." (00:19). This sets the tone for the episode, highlighting Rochester's humorous outlook on his financial woes.
[04:16 - 06:27]
Fred informs Rochester that Mrs. Calloway is on her way to collect rent. Their conversation reveals a complex relationship dynamic, with hints of Mrs. Calloway's affection for Rochester despite his reservations about her physical appearance: "Mrs. Calloway weighs 200 pounds. She ought to lay off sweets." (02:37). This segment adds depth to Rochester's personal life and the comedic tension between him and his landlady.
[06:27 - 09:56]
Willie Johnson enters the scene with a new "big deal," seeking Rochester's assistance. Despite Ramsay's skepticism about Willie's reliability—“Willie's just a fast talking promoter, Jenny." (04:52)_—Willie remains optimistic about his latest scheme. The interaction swiftly shifts to Willie’s pitch about recruiting Clooney Watson, a stunning aspiring actress, to boost their mutual fortunes: "Rochester, you and I is gonna be Clooney's agents." (08:38).
[09:03 - 11:03]
Clooney Watson is introduced, adding a new layer to the plot. Her entrance is both charming and comedic, as she awkwardly interacts with Rochester, who remains hesitant yet intrigued by the opportunity to help her: "If I get into pictures, I'll be so grateful. Do you think you can?" (10:58). This segment emphasizes themes of ambition and friendship interspersed with witty dialogue.
[11:03 - 13:08]
The episode culminates with Rochester contemplating the feasibility of Willie’s plan while humorously navigating his relationship with Mrs. Calloway, who cheekily asks if he can also get her into pictures: "Do you really think you can get a girl into pictures?" (12:42). The closing lines reinforce the show's signature blend of humor and heart, leaving listeners eager for more adventures.
Financial Struggles and Resourcefulness:
Friendship and Trust:
Romantic Undertones:
Ambition and Aspiration:
Humor in Daily Life:
"Willie Johnson's Big Deal" is a quintessential episode that encapsulates the charm and wit of classic radio entertainment. Through engaging characters, clever dialogue, and relatable themes, the show offers listeners a nostalgic yet timeless experience. Whether it's Rochester's financial antics, Willie's harebrained schemes, or the introduction of the enchanting Clooney Watson, the episode seamlessly weaves humor with heartfelt moments, making it a memorable installment in the Rochester Show series.
Listeners new and old will find themselves captivated by the interplay of characters and the enduring appeal of old-time radio storytelling. As the episode closes with a nod to the beloved Franco American Spaghetti commercial, it serves as a delightful reminder of the era's unique blend of entertainment and advertisement.
Stay tuned for more classic adventures on the Rochester Show, where humor and heart go hand in hand!