
Rogers Of The Gazette 1950-05-15 Audition Show (1)
Loading summary
GEICO Narrator
All you homeowners have unique needs. Some feel the need to paint their door a vibrant shade of blue. Others have the need to decorate their bathroom with fish anchors and other nautical items. And because each homeowner has unique needs, GEICO helps you get the right coverage for your home and what's in it. That way, you get exactly what's right for you, even if your needs are unique. Get more with Geico.
Announcer
Ladies and gentlemen, the editor of the ILLYRIO Weekly Gazette, Mr. Will Rogers.
Will Rogers
Thank you. You know, 40 years ago, a fella could buy a newspaper for two or three pennies. Now he has to pay three times that. The only thing is, these days, the news just isn't three times that good.
Narrator
Will Rogers, country editor. Offering you again tonight another heart story of a country newspaper and its friendly editor. And Starring Will Rogers, Jr.
Will Rogers
To those.
Narrator
Who live there, it's a home.
Announcer
Home.
Narrator
To those driving through, it's a delightful country town. There's a wealth of apple trees that everyone's proud of. And a tall grain elevator. A bus and train depot. And, of course, a weekly newspaper. The office of the Illyria Gazette sits on one side of the town square. And is a meeting place for many of Will's friends. Who drop in to pass the time with him and with Maggie Button, his assistant. It's early evening now and almost time for the paper to go to press.
Will Rogers
Maggie, here it is. All finished.
Announcer
What's finished, Will?
Will Rogers
My editorial for this week's issue.
Announcer
Oh. Let's see what the flaming torch of journalism is dedicated to this week. Will.
Will Rogers
Huh?
Announcer
Soybeans.
Will Rogers
Yep. Ran into a fellow who knows more about soybeans than any other man alive, I guess. Spent maybe five hours telling me all about. Oh, do you think? Ought to write about something else?
Announcer
Where'd you meet this bean expert?
Will Rogers
Out fishing, Will, they say no man ever committed a major crime who smoked a pipe, owned a dog or went fishing. Maggie.
Announcer
Will, what did O.J. say?
Will Rogers
He thought the fellow knew all about the soybeans. Was pretty interesting, too. I introduced him.
Announcer
I mean, what did O.J. say about the mortgage? Did he say yes?
Will Rogers
Well, not exactly, Maggie. You know, he has to sort of powwow around with the board of directors after supper tonight. It gives them all a chance to smoke cigars. They can't smoke around home. I'll get the extension, all right. Always have.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
Mr. Rogers. Mr. Will Rogers?
Will Rogers
Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
I am Mrs. Fenimore. Hannibal.
Will Rogers
Yes, ma'am. I recognized you when you walked in the door. This is Maggie Butman, my assistant editor.
Announcer
How do you do, Mrs. Hannibal?
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
How do you do, Mr. Rogers? I am chairman of the Illyria Civic League. And this afternoon there was a meeting.
Will Rogers
Should have covered that, Maggie.
Announcer
Yes.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
At the meeting, the entire membership, and they represent every prominent family in Illyria, passed a resolution condemning the Illyria Weekly Gazette and its editor. I introduced the resolution myself.
Will Rogers
Well, now, that's mighty interesting, Mrs. Hannibal.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
Mr. Rogers, the league feels very strongly regarding the article you announced you were going to publish concerning Lance O'Neill.
Will Rogers
I suppose they've got a reason.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
Oh, they certainly have, Mr. Rogers. Mr. O'Neill's reputation as a romantic adventurer in ne'er do well is unsavoury to many of the people in this community who remember him when he resided here. Including his name in your series on the famous men and heroes of Illyria is unthinkable. The League feels that only harm can be done by glorifying a man whose principal accomplishment was troublemaking.
Will Rogers
Well, now, I never knew that Lance O'Neill made trouble. Did you, Maggie?
Announcer
No.
Will Rogers
Well, where do you make the Most of it, Mrs. Hannibal?
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
All over this town?
Will Rogers
Well, of course, I never knew him when he was alive, Mrs. Hannibal. But I do know that a lot of folks think he was a pretty good painter. Why, over in Paris at those academies, they've got maybe five or six pictures painted by Nancy Lee of Illyria.
Narrator
Okay, well, just go back to why over in Paris.
Will Rogers
Why over in Paris at those academies, they've got maybe five or six pictures painted by Lance O'Neill of Illyria.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
I feel, and the League agrees wholeheartedly that an artist whose only local available work is painted on a saloon wall can hardly be a fit or edifying hero for our younger generation to look up to.
Will Rogers
Well, now, I doubt if any of the younger generation get over to Huckabee's Bar and grill much, Mrs. Hannibal.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
What about the article, Mr. Rogers?
Will Rogers
Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, Mrs. Hannibal. I'll look into it a little more and let you know. Is that fair enough?
Announcer
Here.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
This is a copy of the resolution. You'll notice there are some hundred and thirteen signatures attached.
Will Rogers
I can't count that quick, Mrs. Hannibal, but I'll sure take your word for it.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
And take my word for this too. If you choose to ignore the wishes of the people of this community and print a word about Lance O'Neill, you'll be the one to suffer, Mr. Rogers. Do I make myself clear?
Will Rogers
I guess that's clear enough then.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
Good day, Mr. Rogers.
Will Rogers
Bye bye, Mrs. Hannibal.
Announcer
That narrow minded Old Betty. What right has she got to come in here and tell you what to print and what not to print?
Will Rogers
Now, now, wait a minute, Maggie. She. She just was telling me how she and how these other folks feel.
Announcer
Oh, Ruby.
Will Rogers
I guess they got a right to not like the way I run the Gazette. If they want to following resolutions pass in accordance with the principles set forth by the founding father. Maggie, did you ever notice how the wisdom of somebody's great granddaddy is always brought up when their descendants want to do something foolish?
Announcer
I've noticed.
Will Rogers
I guess they always use that in case they do something really wrong. Then they can blame it on a man who's sure to be in his grave where he can't say nothing.
Announcer
Well, what are you going to do about this resolution?
Will Rogers
Print it. Well, guess our readers will be interested in what the League did at their meeting this afternoon. Since we didn't cover it, why, this is a good way to let them know. Now, where's my hat?
Announcer
Well, where are you going, Will?
Will Rogers
Well, like I told Mrs. Hannibal, I'm going to look into it a little more.
Bert
And all he wanted was two beers. Oh, hello, Will. Howdy.
Will Rogers
Hello.
Bert
What a be, Will?
Will Rogers
Nothing, Bert. This is business, Will.
Bert
No, I can't take any more space in your paper. Whole year now. I bought one ad a week, and every week you're in here for me to take a bigger one.
Will Rogers
Bert, how long you been around? Delirium?
Bert
Oh, 47 years next July.
Will Rogers
Town must have been no bigger than nothing then.
Bert
About that.
Will Rogers
Why, what did you think of Lance O'Neill?
Bert
You see that picture there he painted on my wall? That's what I thought of him. He called it his masterpiece. He put it there way back in 1910. If I didn't think a lot of him and the picture, I'd have gotten rid of it a long time ago.
Will Rogers
I heard he was quite a troublemaker, Bert.
Bert
Who told you that?
Will Rogers
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal and 113 members of the Civic League.
Bert
She's the troublemaker. And they're just plain stuffed shirts, man. He was a painter. Oh, look at that picture.
Will Rogers
It's a mighty pretty girl.
Bert
Mighty. You know, the funny thing about Lance? He covered the old Globe maybe a dozen times before he finally died. Paris, Rome, London. But he always painted things that had sort of something to do with Illyria. You know those trees there, they're still growing right over by the river. The clouds are the same on any summer day when you're looking at them from Giants Hill.
Will Rogers
Yep.
Bert
You getting material for your Article?
Will Rogers
Sorta.
Bert
Well, you can tell them Lance O'Neill paid his bar bill with that picture up there. If it was on a canvas instead of on the wall, I could sell it and retire right now. But I wouldn't want to retire anyhow, you know. Are you sure you won't have something, Will?
Will Rogers
No, thanks, Bert. I think I'll get busy and write that article now.
Announcer
Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. All right, ma'am. Effective at once.
Will Rogers
Oh, Advertiser subscriber, Maggie.
Announcer
Advertiser, Perkins Paint Shop. Every friend of Mrs. Hannibal and every member of her league. Have been canceling their subscriptions for the last hour. Sure enough, Will, put on those notes and listen. Eleven of our advertisers names are on that list of people who signed the resolution. Three of them have already canceled their ads. The bank isn't going to like that.
Will Rogers
Don't you want me to print the article, Maggie?
Announcer
Well, it's not what I. Of course I do, Will. I'm just talking dollars and cents.
Will Rogers
I kind of guessed you were.
Announcer
Weekly Gazette. Maggie Button. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
Jill
Hello, Daddy.
Will Rogers
Hello, Jill, honey.
Announcer
All righty.
Jill
Hello, Ms. Button.
Announcer
Hello, Jill. How are you?
Jill
Fine.
Announcer
Another subscription canceled, Will.
Will Rogers
What do you got there?
Jill
Mrs. Weatherwax put up some supper for you. There's enough for you, too, Ms. Button. Chicken, butter beans, cornbread and chocolate cake.
Announcer
Oh, thanks. No, honey, I'm full. I've been eating my heart out all day.
Doc
Well, what's the news from the front?
Announcer
Hello, Doc.
Doc
Thanks.
Will Rogers
Here, Jill, honey, go get yourself an ice cream cone.
Doc
Wait a minute. Here. Get two of them, Doc.
Will Rogers
It might make her sick.
Doc
Now, let's not be narrow, son. Let an honest tradesman drum up a little business for himself.
Will Rogers
Well, what do you say to the doc, Jill?
Jill
More often.
Doc
That's my girl. Always be honest. Just for that, Jill, I'm gonna marry you.
Jill
You're a little old for me.
Will Rogers
Oh, nonsense.
Doc
I'm only six times your age. But in 10 years, when you're 20 and I'm 70, I'll only be three times your age. And 20 years after that, you'll be 40 and I'll be 90. And that's only about twice your age. Pretty soon we'll be even. Then we'll get married.
Jill
You'll have to have my daddy.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal
Bye.
Will Rogers
Goodbye.
Doc
You've done a good job with her, Will. You ought to be proud.
Will Rogers
I am. I'm thankful that Mrs. Weatherwax is around to help out.
Doc
Her mother'd be proud, too. She reminds me more of Ann, every time I. Well, you put the paper to bed yet?
Announcer
Yeah, but we haven't quite tucked it in.
Doc
Good. I've got some news. I've been out at the Ferguson Place since 4 o'clock this morning.
Will Rogers
Shouldn't take Molly Ferguson 16 hours to have a baby. Not with all the practice she's had.
Doc
Well, son, this is the first time she ever tried triplets.
Will Rogers
Hear that, Maggie? Isn't that just fine? Say, tear out that box with a senator's speech and put the birth notice about the Fergusons in.
Announcer
Will, that speech is pretty important.
Will Rogers
Not to the Fergusons and their friends.
Announcer
What are they, Doc? Boys? Girls? What are the names?
Doc
Well, here, I wrote it all down, Maggie.
Announcer
Oh, good. Thanks.
Doc
Boy, that is a good looking woman. And I'm a man who appreciates a good looking woman. I might marry her instead of Jill. Do I have to ask you about her too?
Will Rogers
No, Maggie just works for me.
Doc
Okay, then why don't you marry her, huh? Then she wouldn't bother me so much running around loose.
Will Rogers
As a favor to you. Then, Doc, I'll marry her.
Doc
When?
Will Rogers
Well, any day.
Doc
Name it.
Will Rogers
How is everything out in the country, Doc? I haven't had a ramble in weeks.
Doc
It's the prettiest summer I can remember. Flowers just busting out. I picked a bunch on the way back and stopped cemetery and put some on my wife's grave. 11 years. Hard to believe. It sure is. I put some on hands, too.
Will Rogers
Thank you.
Narrator
Doc.
Doc
Yeah. How's everything in the city side? Yeah, don't tell me. I heard all about it. Well, Lance O'Neill was one of the few people turned out of this town who gave himself to something he believed in. Oh, sure. Old Charlie Rice built a railroad. And Ben Adams practically took over Wall street once he got to New York. But a hundred years from now, they'll be looking at Lance O'Neill's work and calling him a genius. You'd like Lance, Will.
Will Rogers
I think maybe I would.
Narrator
Document.
Doc
You know, you can tell a lot about a man when you bunk with him. And he and I roomed together during the summer and fall of 1912. That was his last year here, the year I graduated Hopkins. I still got some of his things around the house.
Will Rogers
Well, if his story turns out to be responsible for my premature death, I'll will my cadaver to you.
Doc
You're not gonna die from it.
Will Rogers
Paper might. The fact that will if O.J. and his board of directors don't extend my loan. See that light upstairs? The farmers and Drovers?
Doc
Yeah.
Will Rogers
Well, they're debating it now. Oh, my nemesis.
Doc
What'd you say?
Will Rogers
My nemesis. Mrs. Fennebor, Hannibal has just turned into the Farmers and Drovers.
Doc
Oh, relax, son. She's probably just going in to say goodnight to her money. I wonder how much she'll leave when she goes.
Will Rogers
All she has, same as everyone else.
Doc
This is an awful healthy town, though. Most salubrious climate in the state, Will. Did you know we had to import two corpses from Chicago to start the cemetery here?
Will Rogers
I think some of them are dead and just won't lie down. As far as Lance O'Neill's concerned, a man world famous for his art, why, this town acts as though it had spawned another Jack the Ripper. Typhoid Mary.
Doc
Well, the way I figure it, Will, somebody's just mad or scared or both.
Will Rogers
That's kind of the way I figured it too, Doc.
Doc
Well, hi.
Will Rogers
That's you, OJ I missed you at.
O.J.
The office after the board meeting. Figured you were on your way home, so I just drove over here and sat in your porch and waited for.
Will Rogers
You like a bottle of cherry pop.
Doc
Oh, no.
O.J.
No, thank you. Well, we dealt with your request, Will. Thought you'd like to know the bank isn't going to foreclose.
Will Rogers
Well, I sure appreciate your coming over to tell me, O.J.
O.J.
Well, it's going to be out of our hands from now on.
Will Rogers
What's that, O.J.
O.J.
The bank had a fair offer for your mortgage state. And, well, they accepted it. We sold your mortgage.
Will Rogers
Who to?
O.J.
Mrs. Fenimore? Hannibal. We had to, Will.
Will Rogers
We had to.
O.J.
It's good business. Well, just dropped in to tell you the news. Oh, say that again. Me telling the newspaper you had to do the news.
Will Rogers
Yeah.
Commercial Voice
Check engine light on. Take the guesswork out of your check engine light with O'Reilly Veriscan. It's free. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan.
Doc
Oh, auto parts.
Podcast Summary: "Rogers Of The Gazette 1950-05-15 Audition Show (1)" Harold's Old Time Radio, Released March 23, 2025
The episode opens in the quaint town of Illyria, a picturesque community adorned with apple trees, a tall grain elevator, and bustling transport hubs like the bus and train depot. At the heart of the town lies the Illyria Weekly Gazette office, a central meeting place for locals and the hub of community news.
Narrator [01:31]:
"To those driving through, it's a delightful country town... The office of the Illyria Gazette sits on one side of the town square."
Will Rogers, the friendly and dedicated editor of the Gazette, works alongside his capable assistant, Maggie Button. The dynamic between Will and Maggie sets the tone for the Gazette's operations, emphasizing a family-like environment where friends often drop in to share stories and updates.
Will Rogers pens an editorial centered on soybeans, a topic that becomes the catalyst for tension within the community. While he believes in showcasing diverse subjects, this particular focus draws unexpected backlash.
Will Rogers [02:13]:
"My editorial for this week's issue."
Announcer [02:24]:
"Soybeans."
When Maggie questions the relevance of soybeans, Will recounts his encounter with a soybean expert during a fishing trip, highlighting his commitment to covering varied interests:
Will Rogers [02:36]:
"Out fishing, Will, they say no man ever committed a major crime who smoked a pipe, owned a dog or went fishing."
However, the editorial's reception is not as positive as anticipated.
The Gazette's editorial on soybeans inadvertently sets the stage for a more significant confrontation. Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal, the stern chairman of the Illyria Civic League, confronts Will with a resolution condemning both the Gazette and its editor.
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal [03:27]:
"At the meeting, the entire membership...passed a resolution condemning the Illyria Weekly Gazette and its editor."
Her grievances center around Will's planned series on Lance O'Neill, a once-respected local painter whose reputation has soured over time.
Mrs. Hannibal [03:53]:
"Mr. O'Neill's reputation as a romantic adventurer in ne'er do well is unsavory to many of the people in this community."
Will, taken aback by the intensity of the opposition, attempts to defend O'Neill's legacy by emphasizing his artistic contributions:
Will Rogers [04:24]:
"A lot of folks think he was a pretty good painter. Why, over in Paris at those academies, they've got maybe five or six pictures painted by Nancy Lee of Illyria."
Despite his efforts, Mrs. Hannibal remains adamant that glorifying O'Neill would do more harm than good for the community, especially for its younger members.
The Civic League's resolution has immediate repercussions on the Gazette's financial standing. Maggie informs Will that numerous advertisers, including prominent local businesses, have begun canceling their subscriptions in response to the resolution.
Maggie [08:54]:
"Advertiser Perkins Paint Shop...have been canceling their subscriptions for the last hour."
With several advertisers withdrawing support, including key institutions like the local bank, the Gazette faces a potential financial crisis. The tension between journalistic integrity and economic survival becomes palpable.
Maggie [09:46]:
"Three of them have already canceled their ads. The bank isn't going to like that."
Despite the financial strain, Will grapples with the ethical dilemma of whether to honor the community's wishes or uphold his editorial freedom.
Throughout the episode, personal interactions shed light on the varied perspectives within Illyria. Bert, a long-standing community member, defends Lance O'Neill, highlighting the artist's genuine connection to the town.
Bert [07:34]:
"He called it his masterpiece. He put it there way back in 1910...the same on any summer day when you're looking at them from Giants Hill."
Conversely, Doc, a compassionate friend of Will, offers a nuanced view of O'Neill's legacy, suggesting that misunderstood figures often face undue criticism.
Doc [12:20]:
"Well, Lopez O'Neill was one of the few people turned out of this town who gave himself to something he believed in...they'll be looking at Lance O'Neill's work and calling him a genius."
Meanwhile, personal moments with Jill, Will's daughter, and Doc's playful banter add depth to the characters, illustrating the tight-knit fabric of the community amidst the unfolding conflict.
As the pressure mounts, Will decides to investigate the claims against him and Lance O'Neill further. His commitment to uncovering the truth leads to a pivotal revelation involving O.J. (Lance O'Neill) himself.
O.J. [14:42]:
"Well, we dealt with your request, Will...We sold your mortgage."
O.J. informs Will that the bank has foreclosed on his mortgage, transferring ownership to Mrs. Hannibal—a move that underscores the Civic League's influence and the tangible consequences of the community's disapproval.
In a final twist, Doc lightheartedly suggests that Will marry Maggie to prevent her from "bothering him so much," hinting at the personal costs of the ongoing strife.
Doc [10:24]:
"That's my girl. Always be honest. Just for that, Jill, I'm gonna marry you."
Will's acceptance of marrying Maggie symbolizes a potential path forward, balancing personal relationships with professional responsibilities.
"Rogers Of The Gazette 1950-05-15 Audition Show (1)" masterfully captures the trials of a small-town newspaper editor navigating community expectations, financial pressures, and personal relationships. Through engaging dialogues and rich character interactions, the episode delves into themes of integrity, reputation, and the intricate dance between media and its audience. As Will Rogers stands at the crossroads of ethical journalism and economic survival, listeners are left contemplating the delicate balance between pleasing the public and maintaining one's principles.
Notable Quotes:
Will Rogers [05:03]:
"If you choose to ignore the wishes of the people of this community and print a word about Lance O'Neill, you'll be the one to suffer."
Doc [10:24]:
"That's my girl. Always be honest. Just for that, Jill, I'm gonna marry you."
Mrs. Fenimore Hannibal [05:28]:
"If you choose to ignore the wishes of the people of this community and print a word about Lance O'Neill, you'll be the one to suffer, Mr. Rogers."
These quotes encapsulate the central conflicts of the episode, highlighting the tension between personal conviction and communal pressure.
This episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio" offers a nostalgic glimpse into the Golden Age of Radio storytelling, blending drama, humor, and heartfelt moments to portray the enduring challenges of local journalism.