
Sam Spade 1948-01-04 One Hour Caper LQ wire recording
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Sam Spade
Oh. Oh. Oh. O'Reilly.
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Sam Spade
Today, auto Parts and Space.
Effie
Oh, I put the bandage on the wrong eye. Or have I? We're both of them. Oh, I get so angry. Sometimes you go dancing on a hill like a schoolboy on the side of conation. And one hour later, just one hour, you come back with a broken head, black eye and clothes torn all the bees.
Sam Spade
How is it?
Effie
You too tight? What did you say?
Sam Spade
Then how do you expect me to dictate a report with a mouthful of God?
Effie
Well, that's where it was. I wondered what happened to the control.
Sam Spade
Shut up, Sam.
Effie
I didn't mean anything. I just meant it for your own good.
Sam Spade
Pick up your consolidation. No, not the suit.
Effie
I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sour.
Sam Spade
Patrolman Hallow. Hallow Wishes fx. Clancy, Third Precinct Station.
Effie
Sam, the officer twins.
Sam Spade
That's right.
Effie
The nice art policeman that walks up and down our street.
Sam Spade
Hey, Matthew, Microwave brings me tan. You want to know down, Eddie? From Samuel Spade, license number 137596, subject to one hour caper. Dear Clancy, in case you were aware of it, and I think you were, Clancy, this afternoon in San Francisco was warm, quiet, and so I was sitting in my underwear in front of the open window of my office reading the news of the blizzards back east. I was not employed by the Chamber of Commerce to do this. My secretary had merely taken my soup downstairs to get it fresh. It began as the clock on the church of Dismas. The thief around the corner was hammering out the hour of four. Yeah? I'm Mr. Spade. This is Hank Page, Paige's Predatory across the street. We printed some cards for you, remember? Oh, yes, Hank, I was about to call you. My secretary is just making out the check. Forget that bill, Sam. I need your help. Well, drop in tomorrow. I'll be glad to talk to you. Tomorrow may be too late. I'd rather not be seen coming to your office. How about the fellow downstairs in your building, say in five minutes? Well, if it's important, Hank. Well, I don't know. I got something here. I want you to look at it. If it's what I think it is, it's important. I gotta hang up and I'll see you in Five minutes.
Effie
Where do you think you're going in.
Sam Spade
That same old hat, Abby? What's the matter with it?
Effie
Not referring to your hat, Sam.
Sam Spade
Well, that's what you're looking at.
Effie
Well, I'm trying to avert my eyes, Sam. Here's a Sue.
Sam Spade
Oh. Oh, I forgot. Well, look out the window. Effie, phone call. Me a job. I gotta meet a man.
Effie
Sam, you can't go on a job now.
Sam Spade
Why not?
Effie
Why do you think I got your suitcase? The man's coming to take your pictures.
Sam Spade
What man?
Effie
From Baffling. Detective Magdalene.
Sam Spade
Oh. Well, I'll try and make it for you.
Effie
Sam, I'm tired of making excuses to people. I set up this appointment for 5:30 and I want you back in plenty of time. I wish you wouldn't go. Oh, all right, go on. But if you aren't back in this office by 5:00, that's. That's 10, Sam. You can. You can find someone else to make your excuse. Okay?
Sam Spade
Okay. Shall we synchronize our rockets? I skipped the elevator and walked downstairs to save time. It was 11 minutes after four last beer time when I reached the amplitude. The happy hour oyster and beverage box. Hey. I turned and looked across the street. Hank Page was just stepping off the curb. He was jaywalking. But that didn't explain what happened. He saw it in plenty of time and jumped back out of the way. It saw him too. The wheels cut sharply towards him and the front buffer caught him just watching the knee. All right, all right. Keep moving there. Keep moving. Come on. Come on back on the sidewalk. Come on now. We'll take care of them. We'll take care of them. Damn. Yeah. Hank. Leave him be. Mr. S.P. leave him be. I've got to get it safe. Come on, get these people back. This man's hurt bad. Give him some air. Better not try to talk, Hank. Here. This is a cigarette case. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What was that? What was that watch? What? Clancy, he gave you something there. A gold cigarette case. I seen him. You must be mistaken, Clancy. Hank, can you talk anymore? Cigarette? D. Find out. Gotta find out. My wife. Yeah, what about your wife? I. I can't. Hit and run kind of dead, Frank. I'd say. What that, wouldn't you? Classy. Be away. Okay, boys. Okay, take him away now. Come on, please. Everybody stand back. Any of you people identify this man? Yeah, I know. You better come along. Oh, hello, Sam. Hello, Maxie. Hank Page. Oh, yeah, just came in. Two seconds. Maxi. Yes. No, no. She better not look at him now. He's in no condition. Oh, sure, sure. You can give her the money as any effect. Yeah. Hey, that's Mrs. Page. She didn't lose any time like the Maxie I would. You know. Lippy says she's gonna look nice sometimes. That's so Spades.
Effie
What?
Sam Spade
I knew your husband slightly. My name is Sam Spades.
Effie
Oh. Oh, yes, yes. Those texts. He said he was going to see you.
Sam Spade
Did he not quite. You happen to know what he wanted to see me about? Yes.
Effie
He found something. A cigarette case. He didn't tell me what it meant, but he seemed very worried about it. He told me that if anything happened to him, I should claim his belongings right away. See, here they are. His watch. Of swallows, Elk's pit. Schooling dark color. Little cigarettes.
Sam Spade
Here you please, Ms. Bates. I've got the cigarette case. Here.
Effie
You got this.
Sam Spade
How did you. He gave us something. He just. Just after the accident. I think he was trying to tell me to give it to you. Here, you take it.
Effie
Oh, no. No initials. Some woman gave it to him. I don't want it. I don't want it. Just put it away. Out of my sight. Out of my safe forever.
Sam Spade
Okay. Okay. Open your eyes. Now it's back in my pocket.
Effie
Thank you.
Sam Spade
Thank you. Now, let's talk with Faith. What was on your husband's mind?
Effie
Well, I don't know. He wasn't very well. Heart trouble. Nothing terribly serious. But he'd get these little spells. And you have to stay home from work sometimes a week or 10 days. But Mr. Soule, the foreman at the print shop, would look after things. You know, I, I, I even thought he was getting better.
Sam Spade
Your husband have any fights lately?
Effie
Oh, my, no. He wouldn't dare. With his heart.
Sam Spade
He had a black eye. No.
Effie
Oh, that happened at home. He fell down.
Sam Spade
Yeah. Well, I'll be in touch with you. Outside, the fog was rolling in. I stopped under a street light and spent an estimated 45 seconds trying to figure out what time it was for the calendar watch my secretary gave me for Christmas. The barometer was falling. It said the temperature was 63, and I was facing northwest. I looked in a jewelry store to find out it was 4:23. My hour was nearly half gone, and the only clues I had were a six cigarette case and a black eye. I took the case out of my pocket and opened it. There were cigarettes in it. I took one out and lit it. It was nasty. Then I saw something green behind the cigarette. It looked better. It looked like money. When I examined it more closely, I wasn't so sure. The printing on it was such. And the amount was 100 florins. The banks were closed, but it only cost me two nickels and a pay telephone to find out where to take it. It was a small but solid looking establishment on Montgomery. The gold lettering on the plate glass window showed Van Felden Meisner commercial agents Amsterdam, New York, San Francisco, Macassar and Curacao. Gentlemen, here. I want to see Mr. Meisner. There is no Mr. Meisner. There's only Van Pelt. And I'm Hendrik Van Pelt. I'm so sorry. Oh, don't be like that. Maybe you can help me. What can I do with you? Well, somebody paid me off for a job in Dutch money. I want to know how much it's worth. Oh, this better than my value of money. Show me, please. Maybe you'd like a cigarette too. That's that. My brand, Sumatra Queen. Thank you. Oh, good. You like? No, the money. 100 florins. High under the light. Look. Serial number here is M. Quadrate. Clear is seal food. Color is paper. Paper. Excellent. Give it a shape. Was it what latest for flooring against the dollar? 53, 24. I got the exchange we take now. You like $10 or not? I love them. You mean that money's real money? Who knows better than I should. My brother was engraved to the Royal Dutch Treasury. I myself in the manufacturer was until the occupation coming was. Pardon me. Would you mind saying that again? In the manufactory from all kinds of money, including already currencies from the Indies, east and West Java, Celebis, Borneo. And homeland Netherlands. Also six months in Bulilong, Bali, where I'm English learning. Oh, you learned English? Several foreign languages. Well, I'll take it in 10 then. 20, 30, 40, 50. 1, 2, 3, 9 cents and 20 cents. Can I say okay? Eventually. Yes, eventually. You have lived in San Francisco for how long? Oh, eventually. Quite some time. I'm Hendrik van Salt. How are you? How do you do? I notice on the cigarette case you have this famous hp. Who your name is, please? Polehouse. Herman Polehouse. In a pole house. You know, I like that cigarette case with the coincidence. You tell me your Dutch money. Maybe also sell me the cigarette case with the Dutch cigarettes. You like those cigarettes? Oh, I love the tomato queens. You can have them for nothing. No. Such a pity to remove them from the beautiful case. They go together. Cigarettes and the case. Oh, how much? Well, we should say it's worth. Will that good go? $500. What do you pay Nothing. I take it out of a dead body.
Effie
Get out.
Sam Spade
Get out. Grave Howard Hallet. Please stop being okay. Okay, Mr. Van Thunder. Go.
Effie
Breathe.
Sam Spade
I ran, did not walk to the only exit. A squad of bank cops thundered past me followed by half a dozen city dicks and some furnsmen who confused Van Pelt's burglar alarm with that of the bank next door. Nobody paid me any mind until I reached 3rd Street. I was just crossing when I saw it the second time. It was the same car that had run down Hank Page. I strained my eyes against the headlights. I couldn't make out the man behind the wheel. But I got the license plate before it happened. I felt it before I heard it. It hit my chest like a sledgehammer. The last thing I heard was the footsteps of a heavy man pounding toward me. The clock on the church of Business. The thief was chiming the half. And now back to the one hour caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade. I started the caper with two clues. A cigarette case and a black eye and a dead man. When I woke up in the alley I didn't have the cigarette case. Instead I had two black eyes. One of them was a crazily enough I was alive. I reached inside my shirt to examine the bullet all over my heart. There was nothing there but a bruise. I wonder what had been in that gold cigarette case besides gold and Dutch cigarettes. The plug had come at me hard enough to knock me down and out. But the case in my inside pocket had stopped it. I limped to the nearest phone group and phoned Cuddle in the traffic division. The plates on the hit and run car were registered to 100 Van Pelt.
Effie
Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I was beginning to worry.
Sam Spade
Where's with the Van Pelt?
Effie
That's just it. That's just it. He went in the other room to make a drink and come back. You don't know how glad I am you're here. Do you know why he invited me to have this drink with him?
Sam Spade
I guess I can one way.
Effie
Thank you. Listen, he wants to buy Hank's cigarette case. And of course, much as I hate an Indian. Boo. Mr. Spade.
Sam Spade
Yes?
Effie
Well, you know, Hank didn't leave much. Only a little insurance. And the printing shop is a partnership. You know, Hank and Mrs. Soleil. That cigarette case is just a windfall. I told him you wouldn't stand in the way of a widow.
Sam Spade
I wouldn't thank of it.
Effie
I knew you'd do the decent thing, Mr. Spade. Give me that.
Sam Spade
Please. Please. My bruises. Besides, I haven't got it.
Effie
You haven't got it?
Sam Spade
No. Now, look, look, Mrs. Bates.
Effie
Blanche.
Sam Spade
Okay, now, Blanche, try and think. Did you ever hear your husband mention Van Pelt?
Effie
No. No, they. No, they never even met. Mr. Van Pelt said so.
Sam Spade
How'd Van Pelt find out about the cigarette case?
Effie
He said you showed it to him.
Sam Spade
How well do you know your husband's partner, Mr. Soleil?
Effie
Oh, we're total strangers now. I told my husband everything.
Sam Spade
He forgave me. Uh huh. And what did Mr. Soleil tell you?
Effie
Nothing much. Nothing. He's led a very dull life. Almost as soon as he got out of reform school, he took a forgery raft. That's where he became a master critter. Mister, did you say?
Sam Spade
Oh, yes, I do.
Effie
They're not much help.
Sam Spade
Au contraire, Blanche. Au contraire. I escorted her outside and pushed her into a factory. Then I walked back to Church Street. As I rounded the corner, I could see light of the window of pace of crittery. The chimes were hammering out a quarter of five. When I entered Hank Page's shot in the back. A guy was sitting at a desk in his shirt sleeves checking off figures in a ledger. I introduced myself and he told me his name was Ben Soleil. He shook hands and then he waved me to a chair across the bed. This is awful sage luck with one thing and another. We're heels overhead and working got a pull in these books and I don't know a thing about it, and I. Oh, pardon me. Oh. Oh, all right. Well, things are a little confused here just now. Could you tell me a little more about it? Oh, yes, I understand the problem. Well, we're handling it at this end, but we'll be very busy for a while. Now, there's definitely no point in you dropping by tonight. You think the news of the boss's death would make some difference to those customers. But no, you take that solid. Just. Yeah, I know you're very busy, Mr. Smith. I don't want to take up too much of your time. Hey, what makes you think that car deliberately ran down the board? Did I say so? Well, you're an insurance dick, aren't you? He got me tagged. Anybody have anything against him as far as you know? No. He fired two printers last week. Why? They couldn't spell in English. You see Mr. Page this afternoon? Yeah. He came in for about 10 minutes. Said he'd be back on the job tomorrow morning. He was killed at that very last. How'd he look same as usual. You wouldn't say he'd been in a fight? Oh, good Lord, no. He was a sick man. He had a piece of porn in his hand when he was hit. Know anything about that? Sure. He got it here. One of our customers, a man named Van Pelt, paid for some work with him. Boss wanted it for a souvenir, so he took it with him. Does Van Pelt know about Paige's heart? Oh, that's a stupid question. Ask. You didn't know Page was killed with Van Felt's car. That's a long shot. Nice. Isn't that another one you're lying straight down the line, huh? Wait. You didn't see Paige today? If you had you to mention he had a black eye. He didn't take that Dutch money for a souvenir. If he had, you'd have mentioned the cigarette case. You said enough. What are you doing? Shutting down for the night. You'll find out. Put your hands outside of the set. I slipped the muzzle of my gun I've been holding in my lap for two. Far enough over the edge of the desert. Ben Delay to see it. He did what I told him to. The press room door was directly behind him, and I knew his body would screen my guns in the view of anybody that might come through it in response to the signal. He felt I didn't have long to wait. Three men, black with ink came to the door and threw it under the little arm. They strolled in, careless and casual. What's up, Ben? You got ice in your head, huh? Stop right there. They'd all been mounted on the same pair of legs, but I didn't like my position at all. If these men decided to jump me, I could down just one of them before the other three were on me. I knew it and they knew it. Then I felt some fresh air on the back of my neck as the street door opened behind me.
Effie
Mr. Shelay, what is this? Is it a holder?
Sam Spade
Leave? Blanche. Spade, get out of here quick. Find a cop and bring him back here. Will you do that?
Effie
Sure I will. You can count on me.
Sam Spade
Lane's mouth open in a broad grin. I didn't need any more warning than that. I threw myself sideways, but I wasn't quick enough. The blow I got from behind was Blanche's lady's handbag by persuaded and hit me full on. But I got enough of it to fold up my legs as if the knees were hinged with paper, and I slammed into a heap on the floor. Something dark crashed towards me. I caught with both hands. I had my foot kicking in my face. I wrung it the way it rings out a knot. I was dimly aware that my feet were under me again. Some squirming thing was on my back and a hot, damp object like a hand was across my face. I put my teeth into it, head back as far as it would go. Maybe it smashed into the place it was meant for. I don't know. Anyway, the squirming thing was no longer on my back and suddenly I could see again. I saw a brass cuspidor 6 inches or so in front of my eyes. That's how I knew I was down on the floor again. I grabbed the cuspidor and tugged at it. I staggered to my feet with it and used it to quit the clear space in front of me. I swung it high and let go. And I was back on the floor again with six or 800 pounds of flesh hammering my face into the pores. But you can't throw a brass cuspidor through a plate glass window into a rush hour crowd in downtown San Francisco without attracting attention. The hour of rescue is at hand exactly 5pm let's go to work. And that, Clancy, is the most of the crop. You guessed it. It was a counterfeiting taper with variations. The returns are not all in yet, but I think when the Feds pick up Van Pelt, they'll find he was telling the truth when he said he was working in the Dutch Government Printing Office in Amsterdam at the time of the Nazi occupation. He probably bought his way out of the country with the same kind of money he and Saleh were printing here. Genuine Dutch blondes printed from the original plate. Being a skilled metal worker, he designed a gold cigarette case into which those plates would fit with uncanny accuracy. The crowning touch was the way in which he concealed them from Hue. He filled the case with an odious brand of Dutch cigarettes which only fools or criminals could possibly sneak. It was the safest hiding place in the world. So clever was it? Now get this, Clancy, me boy. That even I, Sam Spade detective, never suspected the presence of base metal until it stopped that slug. Van felt through with me in the alley. Period. End of the report.
Effie
Oh, Sam. To think you went through all that just to keep your promise to me.
Sam Spade
Yes, Abby. But what hurts even more than these wounds is the thought that you doubted my words.
Effie
Oh, I didn't say that, Sam. I only inferred that you had no sense of telling.
Sam Spade
Yeah, well, I guess you've changed your mind about that, eh?
Effie
No, I haven't.
Sam Spade
May I ask why?
Effie
Well, I'd rather not discuss it during working hours, Sam. But as soon as I typed up this report, I'll tell you exactly what I mean. Well, here it is, Sam. You want me to mail him, or shall I just hand it to him on the way to the streetcar?
Sam Spade
Say it but stamp after. What else?
Effie
Oh, Harrison, you won't be needing me anymore.
Sam Spade
I'll sit down.
Effie
It's nearly 5:30. Sam not told the photographer not to come.
Sam Spade
That's a fine thing after all I've been through. You still say I have no sense of time. And you told the photographer not to come. Why?
Effie
Because I knew you wouldn't be back in time. And if you were, you'd look so terrible, the picture wouldn't be any good.
Sam Spade
Anyway, thanks a lot.
Effie
Oh, so, Sam, that's why I must have been so cranky. I must have had a premonition. I don't know what's the matter with me. I'm so well tempted. I think I'm turning into an old maid or something.
Sam Spade
Oh, calm down. Oh, by the way, honey, remind me to write to Fig and Washington and ask them to send me that cigarette case for a souvenir if they take it off Van Felt. After all, you know it saved my life.
Effie
Your life? And here I've been nagging and saying all these terrible sa. Oh, Sammy. Oh, no, Sam. No. Your bandicoot. Your. Your wound. Oh, Sam.
Sam Spade
Think I lit.
Effie
Good night, Sam.
Sam Spade
Good night, sweetheart.
Release Date: March 12, 2025
In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with the classic detective saga of Sam Spade. Set in the bustling streets of 1948 San Francisco, this one-hour caper delves into mystery, deception, and the relentless pursuit of truth. The episode masterfully captures the essence of noir detective stories, complete with sharp dialogues, intricate plotting, and atmospheric soundscapes that immerse the audience in Sam Spade's world.
The episode opens with Sam Spade navigating his personal and professional life. An advertisement by O'Reilly briefly interrupts the narrative [00:03], but the story swiftly transitions to Sam's office dynamics.
Effie, Sam's secretary, expresses frustration over a recent altercation:
Effie [00:48]: "Oh, I put the bandage on the wrong eye. Or have I? We're both of them."
Their interaction hints at underlying tensions and sets the stage for the unfolding mystery.
Sam receives a visit from his neighbor, Hank Page, who urgently needs his help [03:45]. Hank's sudden appearance and the secrecy surrounding his request indicate that something is amiss. Hank hands Sam a mysterious item before rushing off:
Hank Page [03:45]: "I want you to look at it. If it's what I think it is, it's important."
As Sam delves deeper, Hank is tragically killed in a hit-and-run accident by a car driven by Hendrik Van Pelt [05:00]. The incident leaves Sam with a gold cigarette case and a black eye [06:23], raising suspicions about the true nature of Hank's demise.
Sam's investigation leads him to Van Pelt, uncovering a complex counterfeiting operation involving Dutch money [12:13]. The gold cigarette case serves as a covert container for counterfeit florins, cleverly concealed with Dutch cigarettes—
Sam Spade [07:30]: "I wonder what had been in that gold cigarette case besides gold and Dutch cigarettes."
Van Pelt's connections to the Dutch Government Printing Office and his expertise in currency design make him a formidable adversary. The narrative thickens as Sam confronts Van Pelt, leading to a tense showdown where Sam barely escapes with his life [18:55].
In a dramatic turn, Sam faces off against Van Pelt's henchmen, resulting in a physical scuffle that emphasizes the dangers of his pursuit [22:14]. Effie plays a crucial role in assisting Sam during the climax, highlighting their complicated relationship.
The episode concludes with Sam successfully exposing the counterfeiting scheme, thanks to the intricate clues gathered from the cigarette case and Hank's untimely death. Effie's realization of Sam's dedication adds emotional depth to the story:
Effie [21:18]: "Oh, Sam. To think you went through all that just to keep your promise to me."
Sam reflects on the ordeal, acknowledging the challenges of his profession and the personal costs it entails.
This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio brilliantly encapsulates the intrigue and suspense synonymous with the Sam Spade legacy. Through its well-crafted dialogue, nuanced characters, and a plot replete with twists and turns, listeners are treated to a quintessential detective experience. The seamless integration of notable quotes enhances the storytelling, providing memorable moments that resonate long after the episode concludes. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the genre, this one-hour caper offers a compelling glimpse into the golden era of radio dramas.