Screen Directors Playhouse 49-02-06 005 Hired Wife

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Screen Directors Playhouse 49-02-06 005 Hired Wife
Release Date: July 7, 2025
Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
Duration: Approximately 26 minutes

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Introduction

The episode opens with Frank Barton introducing the NBC Theater, setting the stage for a classic presentation from the Golden Age of Radio. Shortly after, Carlton Young provides listeners with contextual information about the production, highlighting it as a Screen Directors Guild Assignment Production titled "Hired Wife." He introduces the film's director, William Seiter, and the star, Rosamund Russell.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Barton [00:00]: "From Hollywood, the NBC Theater presents."
• Carlton Young [00:09]: "Screen Directors Guild Assignment Production Hired Wife. Director William Seiter. Star Rosamund Russell."

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Director's Introduction

William Seiter steps in to share his passion for directing comedies, reflecting on his career's longevity and his knack for creating humor. He recounts how his unexpected entry into directing comedy set the course for his extensive filmography, including notable titles like Roberta up in Central Park and Dragnet.

Notable Quote:

• William Seiter [01:42]: "I like making comedies. I like making people laugh."

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Plot Overview of "Hired Wife"

The core of the episode presents the comedic tale of Kendall Browning (played by Rosamund Russell), a diligent private secretary in love with her boss, Stephen Dexter (portrayed by Carlton Young). Unbeknownst to Dexter, Kendall is not only his most efficient employee but also deeply infatuated with him. As Dexter falls for Phyllis Walden (played by Joan Banks), Kendall devises a plan to secure Dexter's affection, leading her to arrange a marriage of convenience.

Key Plot Points:

• Kendall's Dilemma: Balancing her professional role and personal feelings for Stephen Dexter.
• Phyllis's Entrance: Phyllis Walden arrives to discuss an advertising contract, further complicating Dexter's relationship.
• The Marriage Scheme: To protect Dexter's business from hostile takeovers, Kendall suggests he marry Phyllis, leading to a series of comedic misunderstandings and manipulations.
• Emotional Realizations: As forced proximity leads to genuine feelings, both Kendall and Dexter confront their true emotions.

Notable Quotes:

• Rosamund Russell [03:03]: "Yes, Mr. Dexter?"
• Kendall Browning [12:02]: "You're welcome, I'm sure."

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Character Dynamics and Development

The interactions between the characters are rich with humor and wit:

• Kendall vs. Phyllis: Kendall maneuvers to protect Dexter's business while managing her own feelings.
• Stephen's Transformation: Initially detached and business-focused, Stephen gradually discovers his affection for Kendall.
• Roger Van Horn (Ed Begley): Acts as the pragmatic lawyer, providing legal counsel and adding to the comedic tension.

Notable Quotes:

• Carlton Young [04:48]: "You'll have to be married tonight. You can't do that in New York. So you'll have to fly to Charleston."
• Rosamund Russell [12:17]: "It's just a business arrangement? But it is marriage."

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Climactic Resolution

The episode culminates in a humorous yet heartfelt resolution:

• Confrontation: After a series of comedic setbacks, including a failed annulment and a mix-up with chaperones, Stephen realizes his true feelings for Kendall.
• Final Acceptance: Both characters acknowledge their genuine love, moving beyond the initial business arrangement to a sincere romantic relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Carlton Young [25:38]: "Kendall, will you marry me?"
• Rosamund Russell [25:40]: "Well, we're already married."

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Post-Show Commentary

After the dramatization, Frank Barton reprises his role to close the presentation, briefly mentioning upcoming episodes and highlighting other featured stars and productions. William Seiter and Rosamund Russell engage in a light-hearted exchange about the nuances of radio vs. film directing, adding an extra layer of charm to the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Rosamund Russell [26:55]: "Now, look, you got to get married tonight. It doesn't matter who, as long as she's a girl you can trust."
• William Seiter [27:03]: "Microphones. I'm scared to death of them."

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Conclusion

"Hired Wife" offers a delightful glimpse into mid-20th-century comedy, showcasing the talents of Rosamund Russell and Carlton Young under the direction of William Seiter. The episode masterfully blends humor with romantic tension, reflecting the societal norms and entertainment styles of its era. Listeners are treated to a seamless narrative that is both engaging and reflective of the timeless themes of love, ambition, and the complexities of personal relationships.

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Additional Information

• Supporting Cast: Ed Begley, Joan Banks, Fred Shields, Herb Litton, Dan Riss, and Betty Moran.
• Script: Richard Allen Simmons
• Original Music: Composed and directed by Henry Russell
• Production Supervision: Howard Wiley
• Associate Producer: Bill Karn
• Announcer: Frank Barton
• Production Courtesy: Universal International Pictures
• Related Productions Mentioned: The Life of Riley starring William Bendix and The Velvet Touch starring Rosalind Russell released by RKO.

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a nostalgic trip for enthusiasts of old-time radio, encapsulating the essence of radio dramas that captivated families before the advent of television. Harold's Old Time Radio successfully preserves and presents these classic narratives, offering both entertainment and a historical window into the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[Frank Barton]

From Hollywood, the NBC Theater presents.

[Carlton Young]

Screen Directors Guild Assignment Production Hired Wife. Director William Seiter. Star Rosamund Russell.

[Frank Barton]

This is the screen director's guest presentation of life as it is lived by a private secretary. The comedy Hired Wife, starring Rosalind Russell and introducing the director of the film, William Seiter. Tonight, it is the privilege of the NBC theater to introduce a man whose profession is the relentless pursuit of that titillating will o' the wisp known as motion picture comedy. The Hunt has been a remarkably successful one. For as a screen director he has employed his unusual abilities to create some hundred and seventy five films, most of them designed for laughter. You've seen his director's credit on such pictures as Roberta up in Central park, the affairs of Susan, One Touch of Venus and tonight's story, Hired Wife. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. William Seiter.

[William Seiter]

Thank you. Thank you. About 25 years ago, when I was working as an actor in a motion picture comedy, my director became ill. Somehow the word got around. Let's try to finish the film. That's where they made their first big mistake. They've never gotten me out of the director's chair since. Why? It's simple. I like making comedies. I like making people laugh. What do they laugh at? Well, maybe after another 25 years of directing, I'll know for sure. But for now all I can do is guess. For instance, I took a guess on a story Hired Wife and a character named Kendall Browning, a private secretary. Rosalind Russell seemed to be a natural for the part. Kendall Browning was employed in New York by Stephen Dexter of the Steven Dexter Cement Company. With her horn rimmed glasses and poised pencil, she was efficiency personified. Her boss was sublimely unaware that his perfect secretary was also a beautiful woman. And of course, Kendall was in love with him. But every spring she watched him go off in a romantic toque. And some come home with his heart and a sling. So one April, when Stephen had fallen into the clutches of a man eating blonde named Phyllis Walden, Kendall decided to take matters into her own hands. What happened to that is one of the reasons I like making comedy.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, Mr. Dexter?

[Carlton Young]

Phyllis Walden, the model will be dropping in to discuss an advertising contract.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, Mr. Dexter.

[Carlton Young]

Please shore in as soon as she arrives.

[Rosalind Russell]

Very well, Mr. Dexter. Phyllis Walden, Ms. Cementbag of 1949. I've got a good mind to toss her out on her shell pink ear. Yes?

[Joan Banks]

Phyllis Walden is here to see Mr. Dexter.

[Rosalind Russell]

Tell her that Mr. Dexter will see her. Right. Oh, no, no. Send her in to see me. I'm probably going to Hate myself for this in the morning.

[Joan Banks]

You're Stephen's secretary?

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes. I'm Kendall Browning Stevens, private secretary.

[Joan Banks]

I'm Phyllis Walden.

[Rosalind Russell]

Ms. Walden, I have some bad news for you.

[Joan Banks]

Oh?

[Rosalind Russell]

Mr. Dexter was going to put you on his cement bag. What? As a model. I mean, for advertising.

[Carlton Young]

Go on.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, the deal is off. Mr. Dexter changed his mind about it just before he left for Chicago.

[Joan Banks]

What did he say?

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, if you really want to know, he said, tell Miss Goofy Pan she can't pedal her kisser to Steve Dexter. What? Yeah, that's right.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall, is Ms. Wall in here? Why, Phyllis, darling, come in.

[Joan Banks]

Well, Stephen. My, but that was a fast trip to Chicago.

[Carlton Young]

Chicago? What are you talking about?

[Rosalind Russell]

No, no, don't get excited, Stephen. When you finish with Ms. Parox. Ms. Walden, I'.

[Carlton Young]

I still can't understand what made you say those things to Phyllis Walden. She was so upset, I had to take her home.

[Rosalind Russell]

Phooey.

[Carlton Young]

What?

[Rosalind Russell]

I said phooey.

[Carlton Young]

Now, that's a fine attitude.

[Rosalind Russell]

It was for your own good. Every spring, your young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of man traps. Two years ago it was that Hoboken redhead. Last year it was.

[Carlton Young]

Never mind. Phyllis is a lady. Kendall, you're my right hand. I can't run this business without you. But stay out of my private life, all right?

[Rosalind Russell]

I'm tired of doubling as a nurse for a juvenile delinquent anyway.

[Ed Begley]

Kitties. End of round one.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, come in, Roger.

[Ed Begley]

Either of you want a good lawyer?

[Carlton Young]

My secretary here objects to a young.

[Rosalind Russell]

Lady of my acquaintance, the great love of his life. He saw a picture in an advertisement for a new model automobile and went all gooey.

[Carlton Young]

Yes, I did.

[Rosalind Russell]

He was fascinated by the automatic rumble seat.

[Ed Begley]

If you kiddies really want to fight, save it for the board meeting at the General Cement Company.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, that's right. All right, Stephen, we're due there in half an hour.

[Ed Begley]

Those cutthroats are sore at you, boy. They'll pull every legal trip in the book to get you out of business.

[Carlton Young]

Get your notebook, Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Right away.

[Carlton Young]

Come on, Rog, and sharpen that keen legal mind. We're going to need it.

[William Seiter]

Dexter, we offered to buy your company at a fair price.

[Carlton Young]

The price wasn't fair, Mr. Hudson, and you know it.

[Ed Begley]

We gave you a chance to come.

[Carlton Young]

In with us, but you chose to fight. That's right, Latimer. And I'll keep right on fighting, but not for long.

[William Seiter]

We're bringing an injunction against you the first thing in the morning. Dexter will tie up every penny you own.

[Ed Begley]

It's a technicality, a trick.

[Rosalind Russell]

It's unfair.

[Carlton Young]

Of course it's unfair. But it's legal. And there's nothing you can do. Right, Hudson? Right.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

Well, take a good look at the office. The Steven Dexter Cement Company is on the way out.

[Ed Begley]

We'd better take home a few sacks. I hear they make good tents.

[Rosalind Russell]

Please. Now, Roger, isn't there something we can do?

[Ed Begley]

No. They'll tie up every cent in your name. Too bad you aren't married. That's it, Stephen, you've got to get married.

[Carlton Young]

What?

[Rosalind Russell]

You mean him married?

[Carlton Young]

Sure.

[Ed Begley]

I'll put every last penny, every sack of cement, even your house, in your wife's name.

[Carlton Young]

There must be some other way.

[Ed Begley]

It'll just be a formality. After a few weeks, you can get a divorce.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen, it's a wonderful idea. All you have to do is find a girl you can trust. Someone who understands your problem. Someone close to you.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall. You're right. And you know who she is.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, Stephen, come on.

[Ed Begley]

You'll have to be married tonight. You can't do that in New York. So you'll have to fly to Charleston.

[Rosalind Russell]

I'll have to go home and change my clothes.

[Carlton Young]

Why?

[Rosalind Russell]

For the trip.

[Carlton Young]

Why do you have to go?

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen, who are you gonna marry?

[Carlton Young]

Who do you think? Phyllis Walden. Now, let's get busy. I'll make a list of all my properties. Roger, draw papers transferring everything to my wife. Miss Howard.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, sir?

[Carlton Young]

Get two reservations on the next plane for Charleston. And, Kendall, go ask Phyllis Walden to marry me.

[Rosalind Russell]

What?

[Carlton Young]

I'd ask her myself, but I haven't got time.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, what do you want me to do? Drag her here by the hair of her phony eyelashes?

[Carlton Young]

Please, Kendall, I need your help.

[Rosalind Russell]

You don't need me. You need Dorothy.

[Carlton Young]

Dixie, you know how to talk to another woman. Kendall, you can explain.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yeah, sure. Yes, I certainly will.

[Joan Banks]

Hello? It's you. Goodbye.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, wait a minute. Mr. Dexter sent me.

[Joan Banks]

Well, come on in. I'm dying to hear what you have to say. Your lies are so corny. They're fascinating.

[Rosalind Russell]

This one will knock you out. Mr. Dexter wants you to marry him tonight.

[Joan Banks]

He does? Well, I hardly know what to say.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, you might try a simple yes or no. Now, look, Walden, I'm not batting for Cupid. This is strictly business.

[Joan Banks]

Whose business?

[Rosalind Russell]

Yours. This can put you within spending distance of a very serious sum of sugar.

[Joan Banks]

Go on, I'm listening.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen will be waiting at the airport at 5 o'. Clock.

[Joan Banks]

Flying to Chicago again, I suppose?

[Rosalind Russell]

No, no. Charleston.

[Joan Banks]

How nice. I've never been married In Charleston? You must think I'm an awful dope. Really, Browning?

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, I'm just telling you.

[Joan Banks]

Yes. Wouldn't it be nice for you to go back to Stephen and say that Walden number has a price tag? But I'm not that kind of a girl.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, Stephen just told me to ask you.

[Joan Banks]

Tell him I'd love to marry him tonight, but my trousseau is in the.

[Rosalind Russell]

Laundry all washed up, babe. Well, well, Little Kendall has done her duty. I'll tell him, Walden. Brother, will I tell him?

[Carlton Young]

Roger, our plane leaves in five minutes. I wonder what's keeping Phyllis.

[Ed Begley]

Will you stop having pups? You know you can count on Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Steve.

[Carlton Young]

Steve, there's Kendall. But Phyllis isn't with her.

[Rosalind Russell]

Steve, Phyllis said no.

[Carlton Young]

You mean she won't marry me?

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, now, you can't blame her. No woman wants to get married just for a favor.

[Carlton Young]

Well, it was a nice business while I had it.

[Rosalind Russell]

You haven't lost it, Steve. All you have to do is marry somebody.

[Carlton Young]

Yes, but who?

[Ed Begley]

Well, don't look at me. I can't cook.

[Rosalind Russell]

Now, look, Steve. Look, you got to get married tonight. It doesn't matter who, as long as she's a girl you can trust.

[Ed Begley]

Steve, don't you know a wife when you see one?

[Carlton Young]

Kendall. Well, maybe she's busy tonight.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, I. I really had planned to read another chapter of Little Women.

[Carlton Young]

Wait a minute. Now departing gate five, Mr. Dexter Kendall. What do you say? Marry me until this trouble blows over.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, and this is the romantic moment I've always dreamed about. Come on, husband, let's go.

[Ed Begley]

Happy landings. I'll be waiting at your house when you get back. Well, well, well, the bride and groom return. Welcome.

[Carlton Young]

Hello, Roger.

[Rosalind Russell]

Here we are.

[Ed Begley]

I couldn't find the rice, so I got out a box of corn flakes to throw at you.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, go ahead and throw them.

[Ed Begley]

I can't. I ate them while I was waiting.

[Carlton Young]

Did you bring those papers with you?

[Ed Begley]

Yes, right here.

[Carlton Young]

Where do I sign?

[Ed Begley]

On this line?

[Carlton Young]

That does it.

[Ed Begley]

Congratulations, Stevie boy. You're now a pauper. I'll have the transaction recorded. If there's anything you need, Steven, just ask your wife.

[Carlton Young]

Good night.

[Rosalind Russell]

Fine friend he is. He didn't even stay to drink a toast to the bride.

[Carlton Young]

Never mind. I'll drink it for him. Then you better run along.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, well, I am pretty tired.

[Carlton Young]

You're a real friend, Kendall, and I. Well, thank you for marrying me.

[Rosalind Russell]

You're welcome, I'm sure. Oh, Stephen, let's not kid about it. I know it's just a business Arrangement? But it is marriage. I'm glad. I didn't know it was going to be like this.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, Stephen?

[Carlton Young]

Right now I'm rather glad I married you.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, no. No, Stephen, don't.

[Carlton Young]

You're my wife.

[Rosalind Russell]

Not because you wanted me. I'm. I'm a substitute for Phyllis Walden. Phyllis walden would be Mrs. Dector tonight if. Well, if I hadn't made her refuse your bid.

[Carlton Young]

My bid?

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes. The way I put it, I knew she'd turn me down. No woman likes to admit that she's up for sale. Even if she is.

[Carlton Young]

You mean you made Phyllis believe I thought I could buy her? Well, you double crossing little.

[Rosalind Russell]

Ah, ah, ah, Stephen. Remember you're a Harvard man.

[Carlton Young]

Stop acting so confounded. Married.

[Rosalind Russell]

We are, you know.

[Carlton Young]

Don't take advantage of a technicality and go home.

[Rosalind Russell]

Why, Steven, where am I?

[Carlton Young]

Will you please get out of my house?

[Rosalind Russell]

Your house?

[Carlton Young]

All right. If it's a fight you want, you'll get one.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen, you're in no position to fight.

[Carlton Young]

Are you going?

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, but I'll be back. And in the meantime, don't get any cigarette burns on my rug.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, Steven?

[Carlton Young]

You're fired.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, Stephen. Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

What?

[Rosalind Russell]

You're broken. Everything you own belongs to me. Mrs. Steven Dexter. Good night.

[Carlton Young]

Good morning, Ms. Howard. How is my favorite receptionist?

[Joan Banks]

Just a minute. Where are you going?

[Carlton Young]

To my office.

[Joan Banks]

You can't go in there. The boss is busy.

[Carlton Young]

Boss?

[Joan Banks]

Yes, Mrs. Dexter. It's locked.

[Carlton Young]

It can't be locked. She can't do this to me.

[Joan Banks]

She did. If you want to see her, I suggest you call later and try to make an appointment.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall. Kendall. I'll get in if it takes me all week. Kendall.

[Joan Banks]

Well, Mr. Dexter, you back again?

[Carlton Young]

How long can this go on? I've been here every day this week and she wouldn't see me. But this is Friday and I'm getting in.

[Joan Banks]

Mr. Dexter. What are you hiding behind your back?

[Carlton Young]

This.

[Joan Banks]

Mr. Dexter, put down that axe.

[Carlton Young]

Stand aside.

[Joan Banks]

But there's something you ought to know.

[Carlton Young]

Out of my way there.

[Joan Banks]

Mr. Dexter, I tried to tell you, your wife's out to lunch.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, did she leave any message?

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes.

[Joan Banks]

She said you were to have all the money in the petty cash box for meals.

[Carlton Young]

Ah, food at last. How much is there?

[Joan Banks]

One dime, three Lincoln pennies and a two cent st.

[Frank Barton]

You are listening to the Screen Director's Guild production of Hired Wife, starring Rosalind Russell, with Carlton Young as Steven, and introducing the director of the film, William Cider.

[Joan Banks]

Mrs. Stephen Dexter Cement Company. Mrs. She changed.

[Ed Begley]

The name is Mr. Dexter.

[Rosalind Russell]

There?

[Joan Banks]

Yes, he's been in the outer office all day.

[Ed Begley]

What's he doing out there?

[Joan Banks]

No desk.

[Carlton Young]

Oh.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, well, let me talk to him.

[Joan Banks]

It's Roger Van Horn.

[Carlton Young]

Roger. A fine lawyer you are. You got me into this mess and now I never see you.

[Ed Begley]

Don't complain. I saved your business, didn't I?

[Carlton Young]

Save my business? I haven't got a business. I haven't got an office. I don't even have a desk.

[Ed Begley]

Something wrong?

[Carlton Young]

It's Kendall. She's thrown me out.

[Ed Begley]

Your own wife?

[Carlton Young]

My own sweet, darling wife.

[Ed Begley]

Well, maybe you don't treat her the way a wife ought to be treated.

[Carlton Young]

I've tried, but I can't get close enough to kick her.

[Ed Begley]

That's not what I meant. Have you tried being affectionate?

[Carlton Young]

Affectionate? With that water cooler?

[Ed Begley]

Try it. She just wants a little romantic attention. You go in there and I'll be right over.

[Carlton Young]

All right, I'll try it. I'll walk in there and say, kendall, I want to talk to you. Kendall, I want to talk to you.

[Rosalind Russell]

Very well.

[Carlton Young]

Stephen, I can't go on any longer. How can I see you like this every day? Cold, detached, unemotional.

[Rosalind Russell]

But isn't that the way you wanted it?

[Carlton Young]

Yes, at first, but now I know you're more than a secretary. You're a woman.

[Rosalind Russell]

What are you driving at?

[Carlton Young]

You're a desirable woman. You shouldn't be scorned. You should be loved. Kissed.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen, what's happened to you?

[Carlton Young]

Kissed like this?

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, darling.

[Joan Banks]

Stephen, I just dropped by to. Oh, kissing your secretary, hun. Nate.

[Carlton Young]

Phyllis.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, hello. What's new in the woodwork?

[Joan Banks]

Stephen, I'd like to talk to you alone when you're quite, quite through kissing your secretary.

[Rosalind Russell]

I am not his secretary. I am his wife.

[Joan Banks]

Is this true, Stephen?

[Carlton Young]

Yes, Phyllis, but. But it's you I love. Will you marry me?

[Joan Banks]

Oh, nice talk from a bridegroom.

[Carlton Young]

I swear my wife means nothing to me.

[Rosalind Russell]

You. You traitor.

[Carlton Young]

She's just a business arrangement.

[Rosalind Russell]

There goes your allowance.

[Carlton Young]

I'm not going to live with her.

[Rosalind Russell]

You're not going to live, period.

[Carlton Young]

I won't even talk to her.

[Rosalind Russell]

All I want to hear from you is a death rattle.

[Carlton Young]

It was you I wanted, Phyllis, right from the start.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, you can start right now and take her with you. Ha.

[Joan Banks]

I wouldn't have him if you served him on a silver platter with an apple in his mouth.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, what are you waiting for? Here's a nickel for the apple. Now beat him.

[Ed Begley]

What was that that just whizzed by?

[Rosalind Russell]

Out of the way. Roger, Mr. Steven Dexter is on his way out.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, no, he isn't. I've got a surprise for you kids.

[Carlton Young]

Nothing could surprise me now.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, yeah? Well, try this on for size. Someone tipped Latimer of General Cement that your marriage isn't bonafide.

[Rosalind Russell]

It isn't. It's an optical illusion.

[Ed Begley]

If they can prove that we're sunk, they're bound to check up on you. Kendall, go home and start packing.

[Carlton Young]

Good. Ship her away.

[Ed Begley]

Away nothing. I'm shipping her to your house.

[Carlton Young]

My house? My house.

[Rosalind Russell]

Naturally, your house. Your house. When I move into Roger's house. Roger's house. I won't do it. Now, that's asking too much.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, I don't know. Most newlyweds put up with it.

[Carlton Young]

But think of the position it puts me in.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, naturally, we Dexters prefer death to dishonor. Well, what about me? What'll I tell my husband? Not you. The next one I'm gonna marry.

[Carlton Young]

No.

[Ed Begley]

Very well, Prudes. I'll see you in bankruptcy court. Now, look, if you're going to be scaredy cats, invite some respectable relative or friend to stay in the house and referee.

[Rosalind Russell]

That's an idea. Roger.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, no. Now, now, wait a minute. You can't do this to me.

[Rosalind Russell]

No, no, no.

[Carlton Young]

Roger. Roger, can't you stop that snoring? This is my home. Why do I have to sleep in the guest room with you?

[Ed Begley]

Because Kendall's in your room.

[Carlton Young]

What?

[Ed Begley]

I'm your chaperone.

[Carlton Young]

Roger, please. Please, Roger.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen, answer the phone.

[Carlton Young]

You answered at your house.

[Rosalind Russell]

Don't be calling me at your number.

[William Seiter]

Oh, well, all right.

[Carlton Young]

Well, hello, Dexter? Yes, who's this? Let me speak to Mrs. Dexter. Who? That woman you're supposed to be married to. Oh, her. Wait a minute. It's latimer.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, hello, Mrs. Dexter? Yes, Mrs. Stephen Dexter.

[Carlton Young]

This is Latimer of General cement.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, yes, Mr. Latimer. How nice of you to call. What can we do for you?

[Carlton Young]

Well, frankly, Mrs. Dexter, we doubted that.

[Ed Begley]

You and your husband were really living together.

[Carlton Young]

But since you are, let me congratulate you.

[Rosalind Russell]

Thank you.

[Ed Begley]

Let me talk to Mr. Dexter.

[Carlton Young]

Hello, Latimer. You beat our injunction and we're ready.

[Ed Begley]

To make a deal.

[Carlton Young]

Fine. I'll call you tomorrow. Good night. Well, what do you know? They're licked. Finished.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, Stephen, that's wonderful. I'm so glad.

[Carlton Young]

Ah, so am I. Now, I can get a divorce if you hurry and text. We've just got time to make the 2 o' clock plane for Reno.

[Rosalind Russell]

I am not going to Reno.

[Carlton Young]

That's a good girl. What do you mean you're not going to Reno?

[Rosalind Russell]

I've suddenly decided I like being Mrs. Stephen Dexter, that's all.

[Carlton Young]

But I want a divorce.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, whistle for it.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, my to you. Slammed the door on my toe.

[Ed Begley]

What are you doing out of bed?

[Carlton Young]

Oh, Latimer called.

[Ed Begley]

Checking up, eh?

[Carlton Young]

Yes, we're making a deal.

[Ed Begley]

Oh, we beat him.

[Carlton Young]

Now I want a divorce.

[Ed Begley]

Would you mind waiting until morning?

[Carlton Young]

How long will it take?

[Ed Begley]

Is Kendall willing?

[Rosalind Russell]

No, she isn't.

[Ed Begley]

But if she fights, and she will, it'll take years.

[Carlton Young]

How many?

[Ed Begley]

Five.

[Carlton Young]

Good.

[Ed Begley]

Your best bet is to disappear and be given up for dad. Of course, that's just a curdstone opinion. Now come to bed, Stephen.

[Rosalind Russell]

See? You're stuck with me.

[Carlton Young]

So you like being Mrs. Stephen Dexter?

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, I. I thought I did.

[Carlton Young]

Come here, Mrs. Dexter.

[Rosalind Russell]

Stephen. Don't you dare touch me.

[Carlton Young]

I'm going to shower you with all the kisses a wife deserves.

[Rosalind Russell]

Steven. Steve. Oh, don't. Don't.

[Ed Begley]

I wish you'd make up your mind.

[Carlton Young]

How can I get rid of this woman?

[Ed Begley]

Well, not that way, old boy. There is a way, though. An annulment.

[Carlton Young]

How soon can I get one?

[Ed Begley]

A few weeks. We'll just have to show it's been no marriage.

[Carlton Young]

Well, you can testify to that.

[Ed Begley]

I'll start proceedings tomorrow.

[Carlton Young]

Well, Kendall, that closes the book.

[Rosalind Russell]

I guess it does. I'm going home, Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

Good. Then I'll get a good night's sleep in my own room. What about your things?

[Rosalind Russell]

I'll call for them in the morning. Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

Yes?

[Rosalind Russell]

It has been kind of fun, hasn't it?

[Carlton Young]

Fun? Yes, I guess it has. It that I'll call cab for you.

[Rosalind Russell]

All right, Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

Ah, good morning, Roger. Lovely morning for an annulment.

[Ed Begley]

Yeah. Only there won't be any annulment.

[Carlton Young]

And what is that remark supposed to indicate?

[Ed Begley]

You can't expect me, an attorney, to testify that you slept in your own bed last night.

[Carlton Young]

But I did. In my own room. Kendall went home. She did? She did? Oh, that's probably her now, come to pick up her clothes.

[Rosalind Russell]

Good morning, Stephen.

[Carlton Young]

Morning, Kendall. I was just talking to Roger here. Can you beat it? He refuses to testify in our annulment because he thought you were in my room last night.

[Rosalind Russell]

He did?

[Carlton Young]

Yes.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, he did? Well, isn't that a scream? He still doesn't know for sure, does he?

[Carlton Young]

Oh, you wouldn't dare. Oh, this is blackmail.

[Ed Begley]

So, Kendall, where were you last night?

[Carlton Young]

Go on, go on. Tell him you went home and stayed there.

[Rosalind Russell]

I went home and stayed there.

[Ed Begley]

That does It a bare faced lie if ever I heard one. My best friend stabbing me in the back.

[Carlton Young]

Leave your back out of this. Oh, there's the door again. Phyllis.

[Joan Banks]

Stephen, dear, I just couldn't wait to come over and straighten out our misunderst. Oh, what's she doing here?

[Rosalind Russell]

Having breakfast with my husband.

[Carlton Young]

Phyllis, darling, I can explain. You see, Kendall was sleeping in my room and I couldn't sleep with Roger because he snored.

[Rosalind Russell]

Oh, it's all right, Stephen. Don't bother to explain. You win, Walden. He wants you. I quit. And for your information, Roger, I did spend the night at my apartment.

[Joan Banks]

Well, that's that.

[Ed Begley]

Will somebody pass the sugar?

[Carlton Young]

Oh, shut up.

[Joan Banks]

Well, now, what's the matter?

[Carlton Young]

There goes the best secretary a man ever had.

[Joan Banks]

Oh, there are lots of secretaries.

[Carlton Young]

Not like Kendall.

[Joan Banks]

Stevie boy, are you sure you aren't in love with Kendall?

[Carlton Young]

Roger, I've been deserted. My wife walked out on me.

[Ed Begley]

Now why in the world would she do a thing like that?

[Joan Banks]

Oh, you big dope. You've been crazy about her all along.

[Carlton Young]

Good Lord, I'm in love with her.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, go get her.

[Joan Banks]

What are you waiting for?

[Carlton Young]

That's what I'm going to do right now. Kendall. Kendall.

[Rosalind Russell]

Don't shout, dear. I'm right here behind the door.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, darling, how could I ever let you go?

[Rosalind Russell]

Really, Stephen, you never had a chance.

[Carlton Young]

Kendall, will you marry me?

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, we're already married.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, yes. Well, let's go back and kick that chaperone out of our house.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes, darling. What do we need with a chaperone?

[Frank Barton]

The NBC Theater has presented the Screen Director's Guild production of Hired Wife, starring Rosalind Russell, with Carlton Young and introducing the director of the film, William Seiter. Next week, as every week, the NBC Theater brings you another great film drama with its original team of director and star. The memorable Lloyd C. Douglas story, Magnificent Obsession, starring Irene Dunn and introducing screen director John Stahl. And now here again are tonight's stars, Rosalind Russell and Carlton Young. And screen director William Seiter.

[Rosalind Russell]

Well, Bill, as a motion picture director now, what do you think of radio?

[William Seiter]

It would be a great invention, except for one thing.

[Rosalind Russell]

Yes? Well, what's that?

[William Seiter]

Microphones. I'm scared to death of them.

[Rosalind Russell]

Listen to that Carlton. He was inactive when they used to take turn out a whole complete picture in one week. And he's afraid of microphones.

[Carlton Young]

It's so simple, Bill. All you have to do is talk.

[William Seiter]

Okay, I'll try. Let's talk about your last picture, the Velvet Touch. I thought.

[Rosalind Russell]

No, no, no, no, no. If we're going to talk, I have something else to say. Often the public isn't quite aware of the immense part that you and the rest of all the directors play in motion picture making. You might be a little scared of the microphone there in the studio, but on the set, no one knows better than I what a fine showman you are, lending your talent and experience to actors and actresses and all the others concerned with the picture. Thanks, Bill. You are a great guy handling one of the toughest jobs in films.

[William Seiter]

Well, after a compliment like that, Roz, not even a microphone scares me. Here, let me get closer to this thing. I'm going to start to talk.

[Carlton Young]

Another thing about radio, Bill, it runs on schedule. There's only time to say one thing.

[William Seiter]

What's that?

[Carlton Young]

Good night. Night, Roz.

[Rosalind Russell]

Good night. Good night, Bill.

[Carlton Young]

Good night, Roz.

[Frank Barton]

And good night to you. Rosalind Russell, William Seiter and Carlton Young. Also heard on tonight's program were Ed Begley, Joan Banks, Fred Shields, Herb Litton, Dan Riss and Betty Moran. Script was by Richard Allen Simmons and original music was composed and directed by Henry Russell. Production was under the supervision of Howard Wiley. Associate producer, Bill Karn. Your announcer has been Frank Barton. Hired Wife was presented through the courtesy of Universal International Pictures soon to release the new comedy hit the Life of Riley, starring William Bendix as Riley. Rosalind Russell is currently starring in the independent artist production the Velvet Touch, released by rko. Listen again next week. Next week when the NBC Theater presents.

[Ed Begley]

Screen Directors Guild assignment production Magnificent Obsession. Director John Stahl. Star Irene Dunn.

[Carlton Young]

The Screen Directors Guild program comes to you from Hollywood. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

[Rosalind Russell]

It.