Soldiers In Greasepaint USO1943-11-25

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Soldiers In Greasepaint USO
Original Broadcast Date: November 25, 1943
Podcast Release Date: November 5, 2025
Theme:
A spirited Thanksgiving special from the golden age of radio, "Soldiers In Greasepaint" is a jubilant tribute to the USO (United Service Organizations) Camp Shows and the entertainers who lifted the morale of American troops at home and abroad during World War II. The episode features comedy, music, and heartfelt commentary from some of the biggest names of the era—Bob Hope, Jack Benny, Al Jolson, Kay Francis, Merle Oberon, Judith Anderson, Jerry Colonna, and others—broadcasting messages and performances to troops stationed everywhere from Panama to Guadalcanal.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Salute to USO and Entertainers

[00:02-01:14]

• The announcer establishes the show as a Thanksgiving tribute, honoring the tireless work of entertainers and USO workers who support American armed forces around the globe.
• The host, Bob Hope, is introduced as the proceedings’ "master of ceremonies."

Quote:

“It is a salute to the patriotic fervor of men and women from every branch of the theatrical profession who have done such magnificent work entertaining the members of our armed forces both here and overseas...”
— Program Announcer, [00:02]

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2. Bob Hope and Jack Benny: Comedy, Camaraderie, and Wartime Stories

[01:14-06:33]

• Bob Hope opens with trademark banter, poking fun at travel mishaps and life on USO tours (“So they’ll never feel like the part I get of the turkey…”).
• Jack Benny joins, delivering clever retorts about his violin playing and the comedic rivalry between Hope and himself.
• Extended banter about Benny's desire to perform his violin solo, leading to running gags about him being “switched off the air.”

Quotes:

“I had a great time with the fellas over there. In fact, I still have a bad case of crap game knee.”
— Bob Hope, [01:52]

“You mean you cut me off the air?”
— Jack Benny, [13:14]

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3. Musical Interlude: Al Jolson and Joe Miller

[07:04-09:47]

• Al Jolson, a legendary entertainer, shares stories about the songs troops request (“Mammy,” “Sonny Boy”) and introduces his performance of “People Will Say We’re in Love,” sung by Joe Miller.

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4. Heartfelt Report from Overseas: Frederick March from Cairo

[09:54-12:24]

• Actor Frederick March describes the impact of movies and, more importantly, letters from home on troop morale.
• Emphasizes how crucial mail is for the fighting men, sometimes considered more vital than food.
• Urges the American public to keep writing letters to servicemen.

Quote:

“Morale overseas is spelled M-A-I-L. A Thanksgiving letter from you today... will make some soldier thankful and grateful.”
— Frederick March, [11:40]

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5. Panama Broadcast: Yasha Heifetz for the Troops

[16:55-18:03]

• The show “switches to Panama,” where violin virtuoso Yasha Heifetz gives a stirring musical performance for the troops, showcasing the international reach of USO entertainment.
• Comic bit continues with Jack Benny believing his own violin solo is being played back to him.

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6. Women of the USO: Kay Francis, Merle Oberon, Judith Anderson, and Others

[18:21-22:20]

• Kay Francis introduces a musical number lampooning the hardships and humor of touring with the USO (“Sunday, Monday, and Always”).
• Judith Anderson offers a serious, moving address to servicemen, assuring them of women’s support and prayers at home.

Quotes:

“War is violent and brutal. And perhaps some of you find it hard to believe there's still kindness... left in this world. But we women have not forgotten.”
— Judith Anderson, [21:08]

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7. Guadalcanal Segment: Jackie Heller and Entertainers in the South Pacific

[22:38-25:41]

• Jackie Heller speaks from Guadalcanal, relaying stories from USO tours through Pacific islands.
• Discusses the value of laughter, connection, and morale for troops stationed far from home.

Quote:

“As long as there are troops to entertain, the sky’s the limit... For that hour and 20 minutes we’re singing and playing, we know we are giving them a little pleasure and enjoyment and bringing home a little closer.”
— Jackie Heller, [23:41]

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8. Merle Oberon Tells of USO Tours in England

[25:49-28:22]

• Light-hearted exchange between Merle Oberon and Bob Hope about entertaining at British camps and making adjustments to British military protocol.
• Humor about shared experiences and the idiosyncrasies of Allied troops during the war.

Memorable Moment:

“You know you’re supposed to wear silk knee breeches when you appear before the King.”
— Merle Oberon, [26:40]

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9. Comic Relief: Jerry Colonna’s Alaskan Antics

[28:22-30:54]

• Jerry Colonna brings zany energy, riffing about his experiences entertaining troops in Alaska—kissing a walrus, pretending he was a mounted policeman before birth, and more.
• Bit ends with Bob Hope directing the show to Washington, D.C.

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10. Official Thanks from Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld

[30:54-33:14]

• Rear Admiral Denfeld expresses gratitude on behalf of the Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard for the USO and entertainers' morale-boosting efforts.
• Highlights the collaboration and sacrifices of the entire entertainment industry.

Quote:

“The entertainers and workers deserve the gratitude of the Navy, and it is my pleasure to extend to them… the thanks of every man and woman who wears the uniform...”
— Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld, [32:22]

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11. Closing Salute: Recognizing More USO Entertainers

[33:14-end]

• More radio stars—including Andy Devine, Jimmy Burke, Jinx Falkenberg, and Faye MacKenzie—are acknowledged for their USO service and presented with “citations from headquarters.”
• The show underscores the unity, resilience, and unbreakable spirit of both troops and those entertaining them.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Morale overseas is spelled M-A-I-L.” — Frederick March, [11:40]
• “Sunday, Monday and always we wore GI boots and long drawers union suits…” — Kay Francis and company, [19:12]
• “You mean you cut me off the air?” — Jack Benny, [13:14]
• “As long as there are troops to entertain, the sky’s the limit.” — Jackie Heller, [23:41]
• “God bless you all.” — Judith Anderson’s heartfelt message to the servicemen, [22:20]

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Overall Tone & Atmosphere

• Witty and Heartfelt: The humor is fast, clever, and laced with inside jokes between old radio pals, keeping spirits high throughout.
• Patriotic and Sincere: Frequent, sincere tributes underscore the gratitude of both entertainers and military officials to those in service, especially on Thanksgiving.
• Inclusive: Performers represent various corners of the entertainment world, from vaudeville comics to celebrated actresses, highlighting the unity of the wartime effort.
• Touching and Stirring: Messages about the importance of home, morale, and gratitude to servicemen and women recur, making the episode both moving and uplifting.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Salute: [00:02]
• Hope and Benny Banter: [01:14–06:33]
• Jolson Sings: [07:04–09:47]
• Frederick March’s Message from Cairo: [09:54–12:24]
• Heifetz in Panama: [16:55–18:03]
• Women of the USO: [18:21–22:20]
• Guadalcanal Report: [22:38–25:41]
• Merle Oberon Segment: [25:49–28:22]
• Jerry Colonna Alaskan Comedy: [28:42–30:54]
• Rear Admiral Denfeld’s Thanks: [30:54–33:14]
• Final Salute to USO Entertainers: [33:14–end]

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In Summary:
This episode of "Soldiers In Greasepaint" is a vibrant snapshot of wartime radio, blending comedy, music, and gratitude into a Thanksgiving letter to the troops—reminding listeners past and present of the healing power of laughter, music, and heartfelt words in difficult times.

Transcript

[Program Announcer]

Here they come, America. Soldiers in grease paint. Ladies and gentlemen, this is truly a program of thanksgiving. It is a salute to the patriotic fervor of men and women from every branch of the theatrical profession who have done such a magnificent work entertaining the members of our armed forces both here and overseas. It is an humble acknowledgment of the ceaseless and untiring efforts of another group of self effacing people. The workers who comprise USO Camp shows the organization that makes the wheels of a huge and complex machine run smoothly. In the next 45 minutes you will hear from almost every corner of the globe. Washington, Guadalcanal, San Francisco, Panama. Here in our Hollywood studio is another battalion of soldiers in grease paint. There's Jack Benny, Judith Anderson, Francis Langford, Kay Francis, John Garfield. But to read the entire roster of names would deprive you of precious minutes of enjoyment. So let me turn the microphone over to a gentleman who will help manage the proceedings. Your first host for this morning, Bob Hope.

[Bob Hope]

How do you do ladies and gentlemen? This is Bob saluting the USO Hope. A great movement that's lifting the morale of our boys whether they're in Alaska, Australia or Albuquerque. So they'll never feel like the part I get of the turkey. Well, that's my opening smash.

[Jack Benny]

Well, I.

[Bob Hope]

I'm very proud to be on this show. I've just returned from a tour of the army camps in Europe to boost the morale of the soldiers in the United States. And I want to, I want to say the USO sends actors to all the battlefronts. In fact, it's sort of a low circuit with foxholes. I had a. I have to bolster that a little, didn't I? I had a great time with the fellas over there. In fact, I still have a bad case of crap game knee. And I'll never forget the plane trip across the Atlantic. What thrills you can take my pilot's word for. It told me all about it. When I came to in England.

[Kay Francis]

I.

[Bob Hope]

Really, I really wasn't scared. I read a good novel all the way across. On the way back I read the second.

[Kay Francis]

Not.

[Bob Hope]

I wasn't nervous, but I was shaking so hard the pilot cut out both motors and my knees kept the plane in the air. Halfway across the stewardess tapped me on the shoulder, said in case of trouble the pilot is the last one to leave the plane. I said, why tell me? She said, well, I don't want to make you nervous but there he is down there. And what a time we had in London. The Fog there isn't exactly thick. But I saw an air raid there one night and the anti aircraft shot down three submarines. Most of the time you can't be sure whether it's fog or Churchill.

[Program Announcer]

Cigar?

[Bob Hope]

But we had a great friend. But it's wonderful to come back to this country again. Because you know that no matter how long you've been away, you'll see the same upraised arm Head.

[Kay Francis]

Who's that?

[Bob Hope]

Is that Mike Crosley?

[Program Announcer]

What was that?

[Bob Hope]

But it's great to get back. Because no matter how long you've been away, you'll see the same upraised arm and the Statue of Liberty and the same face looking out of the White House window. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to present a great guy, an up and coming young fellow who made a great name for himself on the dugout circuit. One of radio's foremost, Jack Benn.

[Jack Benny]

Thank you. Thank you. Say, that introduction was a little ambiguous. Bob, you said one of radio's foremost. Foremost what?

[Bob Hope]

Well, I cleaned up part of the speech. Jack, it originally said one of radio's four most obnoxious comedians.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, it did? Who are the other two? Now that you got the program started, Bob might be wise to do a little entertaining.

[Bob Hope]

What'd you think I was doing out here? Making an omelet? Left myself wide open, didn't I? Say, what's that thing under your arm? Did you just get through with the Palladium?

[Jack Benny]

Jack, what is that there? Oh, this? No, I'm going to a wedding. This is a violin. This is a Steinway in Sons. I'm going to play. What?

[Program Announcer]

You're going to play.

[Bob Hope]

This is no time to play the fiddle.

[Jack Benny]

Why, that's ridiculous. People always love to hear me play the violin.

[Bob Hope]

Look, I took it with me on.

[Jack Benny]

My trip overseas and I played it while we were making the flight from Cairo to Sicily in a bomber I heard about.

[Bob Hope]

That was the first time anybody was ever strafed by his own pil.

[Jack Benny]

Look, Bob, he wasn't aiming at me. My G string was out of tune and he thought we were being attacked by a metric. Now, if you don't mind, Mr. Hoppy.

[Bob Hope]

Well, it isn't me, Jack. It's for your own good.

[Jack Benny]

What do you mean?

[Bob Hope]

Well, I don't think it would be wise for you to play the fiddle at all today. You see, in a few minutes we're.

[Jack Benny]

Going to listen to hyphens. I didn't catch the name Heifetz. He's in Panama and we're Soon.

[Bob Hope]

Going to switch the program there.

[Jack Benny]

Heifetz, Panama. That isn't the little fellow with the hat store there, is it?

[Bob Hope]

No, that's the little fellow with a fiddle, Yasha Heifet. He plays the violin and he's in Panama, Yasha.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, of course. I remember seeing him in a nightclub there. Yasha Heifet and his Panamaniac. Great band. No, he doesn't play with the band. He's the Sinatra of the catgut.

[Bob Hope]

Look, the word is. It's not Panamaniacs anyway. The word is Panamanian. Look, Bob, I know what the word.

[Jack Benny]

Is, and I know who Heifetz is, too. But I don't see how my playing will conflict with his at all. Our techniques are totally different.

[Bob Hope]

Yeah, he only has to put it under one chin.

[Jack Benny]

I use my second chin for a mute. If you'll be good enough to carry on for a few seconds, Bob, I'll get some rosin for my bow.

[Bob Hope]

Get an axe to my slot, please. Get your big galaxy.

[Program Announcer]

Where's that?

[Bob Hope]

Oh, let's try it with strings this time. Jack, since you're not going to give.

[Jack Benny]

Me a straight line.

[Bob Hope]

Jack, since you're so anxious to play, you'd better have the full advantage of the acoustics in this studio. If you'll just go behind the screen.

[Jack Benny]

Me behind a screen?

[Bob Hope]

Believe me, Jack, it's safer. Besides, we've fixed up a very delicate microphone for you.

[Jack Benny]

Well, that's very thoughtful of you, Bob. Oh, think nothing else. The acoustics are important, I imagine. I see. Now, where did I put my ride?

[Bob Hope]

Are you ready, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Yeah. Okay, start playing.

[Bob Hope]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the finest excuse anybody ever had to switch a program. Even if Benny wasn't playing. I'd be delighted to announce that you're going to listen to Al Jolson in New York. Take it away, New York.

[Jack Benny]

Who has.

[Al Jolson]

Entertained our boys and more fighting fronts than any other soldier in Greece paid. He's making his first appearance since recovering from a very serious illness. Al, what were the favorite songs that the boys asked you to sing abroad? Well, in Sicily and in Italy and in Africa, England, Ireland, Alaska. Mammy and Sonny Boy were probably the favorite songs. Of course, I sung them so much. Honestly, if the boys didn't get sick of them, I did. So since I've been back, I've seen one show and I heard a great song. I think it's the greatest song I've heard in years. Of course, everybody knows the song. Maybe the boys haven't heard it here.

[Jack Benny]

Over there.

[Al Jolson]

Will you sing it now? Well, I sing it. I don't want to tell you the name of it. Because the minute I do, everybody will know what it is and probably tune out. So if you don't mind, Brother Miller, will you play?

[Jack Benny]

Take it.

[Joe Miller]

Don't throw bouquets at me. Don't please my folks too much. Don't laugh at my jokes too much. People will say we're in love. Don't sigh and gaze at me. Your sighs are so like mine. Your eyes mustn't glow like mine. People will say we're in love. Don't say, start collecting things. Give me my robes and my gloves, Sweetheart, they're suspecting things. People will say we're in love. Don't dance all night with me. Till the stars fade from above. They'll see it's all right with me. People will say.

[Kay Francis]

Within.

[Joe Miller]

Lo.

[Bob Hope]

Ah.

[Al Jolson]

Thanks very much, Al. And now, ladies and gentlemen, another very fine soldier in grease paint. Speaking to us from where?

[Bob Hope]

Across the sea.

[Al Jolson]

Your old friend Frederick March.

[Bob Hope]

Take it away.

[Al Jolson]

Cairo land for the first time. And had ample opportunity to compare these lands with her. To compare standards of living, food, sanitation. And from every angle. And they are utterly convinced. Perhaps at long last they are fighting for the finest country in the world. Another thing the boys are thankful for is that they occasionally get a fairly new moving picture. But it is much too seldom. Once or twice they have had a first showing. That is the world premiere of film. This was in the central Africa area. They were thrilled and grateful. They can't understand why they should be gone so often. Movies, which many of them saw at.

[Joe Miller]

Home two or three years ago.

[Al Jolson]

And I can't understand why every movie that now comes out of Hollywood. Should not be shown first of all and immediately to the armed forces overseas. Or at least let the boys here see them at the same time they are shown at home. I assure you it would build morale tremendously. But even more important than movies as a morale factors is mail. We have so little conception at home of how extremely important it is for the boat. They want more and more mail and use from home. Several commanding officers have told me. That if it ever happens. That their men will without mail from home for three consecutive months. They could not possibly be responsible for anything their men might do. Mail is usually rated as second in importance of food as regards morale. But many boys that I have talked to claim it is even more important than food. Always remember that morale overseas is spelled M A I L. A Thanksgiving letter from you today. And everything will make some soldier thankful and grateful.

[Jack Benny]

I assure you in closing, may I.

[Al Jolson]

Say, in all she fell, I believe there is nothing the citizenry of America could be called upon to do in the way of sacrifices that would make up for what these boys are doing for you. Thank you, Frederick Marsh.

[Bob Hope]

There. How was it, Bob? Oh, magnificent, Jack. I'm sure our listeners never enjoyed your fiddle as much as they did this morning.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, it was nothing. Nothing. And, Bob, it was really sweet of you. I mean, asked me to play 12 encores. Would you believe it? I wasn't even conscious that an audience was listening to me.

[Bob Hope]

You have no idea how it helped.

[Jack Benny]

You know, only one thing bothered me, Bob. From a musician standpoint, I mean, you know how fussy I am about perfection. Well, when I reached the Legato passage of Love and Bloom. Yes? Well, I'm afraid I put too much bravura in the tremolo and I think I loused up the andante.

[Bob Hope]

You think anybody noticed it? Nobody, Jack. Not a soul.

[Jack Benny]

That relieves me. Jack, I've got a confession to make. When you started playing, we switched to New York. You switched to New York? You mean you cut me off the air?

[Bob Hope]

Well, we only stayed in New York two minutes.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, only two minutes. Then you switched back to me.

[Bob Hope]

Well, not right away from New York.

[Jack Benny]

We switched to Cairo. Cairo? Oh, then. Then you came back to me. Then you came back to me.

[Bob Hope]

Then you didn't come back to me. That's about all you can do with that line.

[Jack Benny]

Anyway, I was going on to my Sunday broadcast.

[Bob Hope]

No, Jack, we didn't come back.

[Jack Benny]

Well, Bob, what part of my violin solo came over the air?

[Bob Hope]

The part where you lous up.

[Jack Benny]

Well, of all the dirty trick.

[Bob Hope]

What was so important that you had to cut me off to switch to.

[Jack Benny]

Cairo in New York?

[Bob Hope]

Well, there was artist Frederick Mars.

[Jack Benny]

I know he's good, but is he so good that I should be sacrificed?

[Bob Hope]

I'd understand it. You know I don't if you cut.

[Jack Benny]

Me off the air to hear somebody like Al Jolson, the world's greatest entertainer. But, Jack, when we switched to New.

[Bob Hope]

York, we picked up Al Jolson.

[Jack Benny]

Tim, I can't stand at all.

[Bob Hope]

With your legs, you're lucky you can stand.

[Jack Benny]

Listen to Charles Atlas.

[Bob Hope]

Look, Hope, I'm gonna play right now.

[Jack Benny]

And everybody's gonna hear me. You understand?

[Bob Hope]

Well, if you must, Jack, go behind the screen again.

[Jack Benny]

All right. I never heard of such.

[Bob Hope]

Are you ready, Jack? Yeah, just a second. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we're honored to bring you Brigadier General Joseph W. Byron, Director of Special Services, Army Service Forces. General Byron will speak to you from San Francisco. Take it away, San Francisco. Sam, take it away, San Francisco.

[Jackie Heller]

We are again on the road to see if our 45 USO shows are.

[Jack Benny]

Keeping up the good work. My boss, Joe Doakes, and I say to you, good troopers, well done. We thank you. And to you, Joe Doakes, wherever you are, we troopers, we old soldiers, we grandfathers, we of the nation want you to know on this day of thanks, we are grateful to you and for you. And we pledge on our honor to do our best, to do our duty to God and our country and to help you at all times.

[Program Announcer]

Take it away, Hollywood.

[Bob Hope]

Oh, that was wonderful, Jack. Well, it felt better. I didn't make any mistakes at all that time.

[Jack Benny]

Not. Not one. Hey, listen, I'd like to hear that violin solo mine.

[Bob Hope]

Did they make a recording of it?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, they did.

[Bob Hope]

But something went wrong with the recording outfit here and they had to cut the record in Panama.

[Jack Benny]

In Panama?

[Bob Hope]

Yes. Sure. It'll sound good, though. Would you like me to switch into Panama and have them play it back for you?

[Jack Benny]

Well, if it isn't too much trouble.

[Bob Hope]

Oh, not at all. Ladies and gentlemen, we. Oh, Jack, if you go behind the screen again, you'll find the reception much clearer.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, thanks. Yeah, but it'll sound pretty good.

[Al Jolson]

Coming all the way.

[Bob Hope]

Ladies and gentlemen, we take you now to Panama where Yasha Heifetz is waiting to delight you with the magic music of his violin. Take it away, Panama.

[Kay Francis]

Sam.

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

From Panama.

[Bob Hope]

We have just presented a portion of.

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

The concert being given this morning by Yasha Heifet, accompanied by Emmanuel Bay before an audience of Uncle Sam's fighting men.

[Bob Hope]

This is Captain Phil Lampkin speaking.

[Jackie Heller]

Take it away, Hollywood.

[Bob Hope]

Wasn't that marvelous, folks? Did you ever hear such masterful playing?

[Jack Benny]

Hey, my record really sounded good, didn't it, Bob?

[Bob Hope]

Good? Nobody can play like that. Yeah, I could hardly believe it was me.

[Jack Benny]

I like to get that record. I'll see you soon, Bob. Okay, Jack.

[Bob Hope]

How can a man make a censored word out of himself like that? Well, according to my notes, it's time to bring on a few more soldiers in grease paint. And here is a feminine task force who entertained not only our boys overseas, but also appeared before Queen Elizabeth and the royal family, led by the lovely Kay Francis. They did a bang up job. And here she is to present them Kay Francis.

[Kay Francis]

Thank you.

[Merle Oberon]

Thank you very much.

[Judith Anderson]

Now, all I can say is that, well, we had a wonderful time. You'll hear our story in song for Martha Ray, Carol Landis and Mitzi Mayfair.

[Kay Francis]

Girls.

[Bob Hope]

If you Please.

[Kay Francis]

We shall not forget the bodies that we met Sunday, Monday and always we wore GI Boots and long drawers Union suits Sunday, Monday and always we miss that sandy bed so snug to sleep at night we miss those itsy bitsy fleas and fly that bite and bite Our hair done in the mood A helmet for a snood Sunday, Monday and always we were gaining weight Beans were all we ate Sunday, Monday and always out of bed we rolled then made in a bowl Sunday, Monday and away we knew the boys would meet and greet us like a pair we brought the very things they needed for morale A gal so to those mighty men we would go again Sunday, Monday and always.

[Bob Hope]

Aren't they wonderful? And now to show you that we cover every field of entertainment from Joe Miller to Shakespeare. I'm proud to say that we have with us today one of America's most outstanding dramatic actresses. She's a real soldier in grease paint too. And was the first Hollywood representative to play for our men in the South Pacific. Introducing Ms. Judith Anderson.

[Merle Oberon]

Most of you men who are listening.

[Judith Anderson]

To this Thanksgiving Day broadcasts are far away from home. Many of you have not seen your wives or sweethearts, your mothers or sisters, for months or perhaps for years. War is violent and brutal. And perhaps some of you find it hard to believe that there's still kindness, gentleness and love left in this world. But we women have not forgotten. We women, and I mean your wives, sisters, mothers and sweethearts are waiting. And we will always wait until you return. But in the meantime, in our small way, we are doing what we can to shorten this war. We buy bonds, help with the Red Cross and uso. Or we take over a man's job so that there still will be one more soldier to help you win this war. And every night we pray for your safe return. This is Thanksgiving Day. I hope that next Thanksgiving Day we will be together again in our own homes. And when peace comes to us and we relight our torch of freedom, dear God, with your help and guidance.

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

We.

[Judith Anderson]

Will never again let it go out. God bless you all.

[Program Announcer]

Thank you, Ms. Anderson. At this point, ladies and gentlemen, we switch once again to overseas. This time, the place is Guadalcanal. And the trooper is Jackie Heller. Take it away.

[Jack Benny]

Guadalcanal.

[Al Jolson]

This is your NBC News reporter, Drug.

[Jackie Heller]

Palace Goldstein, speaking from New California. Join us for the next couple of minutes while we tell you about the grandest bunch of fellows in the world. Your sons, sweethearts, husbands and brothers. We're happy to present a star of stage, screen and radio. Known to you as 61 inches of song, Little Jack Teller, Fat Stewart and.

[Bob Hope]

High and Mixture Liquors American. Where do you hail from, Jackie? This first.

[Jackie Heller]

Well, we're a long race from a peaky past. What are you doing in this part of the world? Well, George, I'm proud to say that I'm here with the USO Overseas Camp show and with two other entertainers, Luke Parker and George Fin. We're having a sl time doing shows for these boys who need the reserve and somehow. How long has your fellow been on?

[Jack Benny]

7 months.

[Jackie Heller]

We expect to be around much longer, George. As long as there are troops to entertain, the sky's the limit. And to date, Jackie, where have you been? Well, the Hawaiian Island Zoo, Caledonia, Esperano, Santos and Guadal Canal. Why do you like doing one night in the South Pacific? Well, I think it's wonderful. A bit rough at times, but after we do our shows and see the boys laugh, yell and just about tear down the hunt, as the saying goes, we realize that our work is not in vain. For the hour and 20 minutes we singing and playing, we know we are giving them a little pleasure and enjoyment and bringing home a little closer to. I often think that the men reacted because whether it was a torrential rain storm or a very hot day, the show just had to go on. I know that you've had many experiences while touring here in the South Pacific, Jackie. I really have, George. But the biggest thrill I've had so far was when I was asked to join the men and their yacht. Kipper services and excellent Burrito Santos. Seeing him for the first time since leaving my father's CR many years ago brought back many memories. Believe me, it was a great field. Singing Fear and W. One last question. Understand the morale of our fighting men out here. Morale of you, K. Out here in the South Pacific, morale isn't mentioned. It's here, there and everywhere. It's the way the men talk, eat, sleep and play. In fact, it's everything they do. Ladies and gentlemen, glad news when I tell you the shows presented by the USO camp shows have aided immensely in maintaining the spirit. And your loved one is the greatest and most appreciative audience in the world. And now, on behalf of George Finkelberg, Lou Parker, manager D10F George Folster and yours truly, here's wishing you the happiest Thanksgiving Day ever. Thank you, Jackie Heller. Take it away, Hollywood.

[Program Announcer]

We pause briefly for station identification.

[Bob Hope]

Ladies and gentlemen, we continue with Soldiers.

[Jack Benny]

In Grease Paint from Hollywood.

[Bob Hope]

And now I'd like to Present one of Hollywood's most charming stars. The lady who was one of the original overseas gals. That beautiful English actress, Merle Oberon.

[Kay Francis]

Thank you, Scott.

[Jack Benny]

Thank you, Merle.

[Bob Hope]

You're a regular paper doll, aren't you?

[Jack Benny]

Huh?

[Bob Hope]

Mind if I put my arm around you?

[Merle Oberon]

Do you put your arms around all the paper dolls?

[Bob Hope]

Yeah. From the Associated Press. Merle, I understand you recently finished a tour of the army camps in England. Yes, Bob.

[Merle Oberon]

I toured the camps with Al Jolson. You know him, don't you?

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

Oh, yes.

[Bob Hope]

I know Al Jolson very well. We were in vaudeville together.

[Merle Oberon]

Really?

[Bob Hope]

Yeah. Before he sang, I used to run out and spread a doily under his knee.

[Merle Oberon]

Bob, you recently got back yourself from England, didn't you?

[Bob Hope]

Yes, Merle. I must say, I created a sensation when I appeared at Buckingham Palace.

[Merle Oberon]

Oh, yes, I heard you did, Bob. You know you're supposed to wear silk knee breeches when you appear before the King.

[Bob Hope]

You're supposed to wear silk knee britches.

[Merle Oberon]

That's right. You're not supposed to walk in with just your long underwear pulled up tight. Bob, wasn't it thrilling to see the British and American boys sharing everything? Even the same reading room in the canteen?

[Bob Hope]

Yeah, but our boys have one bad habit. They cut pages out of the magazine.

[Kay Francis]

They do?

[Jack Benny]

Sure.

[Bob Hope]

In fact, for six months, the British thought Esquire was a magazine about what.

[Jack Benny]

The men are wearing.

[Merle Oberon]

Bob, were you frightened during the air raid?

[Bob Hope]

Oh, I don't know that I was any more afraid of the air raids than anyone else. After all, I saw plenty of big, tough soldiers kneeling beside their beds.

[Merle Oberon]

Yes, I know, but they at least.

[Bob Hope]

Got up once in a while to go and eat. Merle, I wasn't afraid of those enemy bombers.

[Merle Oberon]

I don't know, Bob, but you were the only man in London who shaved the top of his head and had Open City tattooed on his skull.

[Bob Hope]

Well, I wasn't sure they'd see the white flag hanging on my nose.

[Merle Oberon]

But I enjoyed playing those army camps, Bob. Especially when the soldiers started giving me that old GI Look.

[Bob Hope]

GI Look?

[Kay Francis]

Yes.

[Merle Oberon]

That means it's my jeep, baby.

[Kay Francis]

Get in.

[Bob Hope]

Yeah, those boys really know how to take a curve. Say, listen, I'm. And I'm sure that you were a welcome hitchhiker, Merle.

[Merle Oberon]

Thank you, Bob. And before I go, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you boys not to lose your GI Look. Because I'll be seeing you again soon.

[Bob Hope]

Thank you. Thank you, Merle Oberon. And now, another USO star who toured Alaska and the Aleutians. Our Old friend. Senor. Professor Jerry Colonna.

[Jackie Heller]

Good morning.

[Jack Benny]

How are you?

[Bob Hope]

Good morning, Professor Colona.

[Jack Benny]

Good morning.

[Bob Hope]

Morning. Is that what that stuff is out there?

[Jack Benny]

You look grand.

[Bob Hope]

Look at that stash. It's good today, isn't it? Only man in the world can kiss a girl and give her the brush off at the same time. We had a lot of fun up there in Alaska, didn't we?

[Judith Anderson]

Yes, indeed we did.

[Bob Hope]

But one thing I want to know, clone, about that Alaskan trip. Why were you always hollering mush mushroom? Well, they made me wait for my breakfast. Not this morning, though. I was too early for you.

[Jack Benny]

Yeah, get in line.

[Bob Hope]

Say, when we came down through Alaska, did you notice those mounted policemen? Oh, they're nothing new, Hope. I was a mounted policeman before I was born. You were a mounted policeman before you were born? How is that possible? I lied about my age. You know, professor, you've got the lowest IQ I ever saw. I can't help it. My suspenders are loose. You know, you give me the willies. Okay, but I'll have to take the tires off the cruise.

[Jack Benny]

Tell me.

[Bob Hope]

Tell me, professor, did you like Alaska? Ah, yes, wonderful place, Alaska. You know, Hope I followed the Alaskan customs easily. I got so that I even tried wear meat. Yes, I know. I saw you one night struggling with.

[Jack Benny]

That big hunk of blubber.

[Bob Hope]

Sir, you are speaking of the woman I love. You had a lot of fun up there, huh? Ah, yes. The first day I was in Alaska, I met a lovely girl. And I sure enjoyed kissing her. Even if she had a funny snout and dark glistening skin and two long teeth sticking out of her mouth. Colone. You fool. That was a walrus. You kissed a walrus.

[Jack Benny]

He gad.

[Bob Hope]

So that explains why your mustache was longer than mine. Marvelous way. Go back and stick your head back in the ice box. And now to Washington D.C. and Rear Admiral Louis E. Dunfeld, Acting Chief Naval Personnel. Take it away.

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

Washington, In October of 1941, the War and Navy departments jointly requested the organization of camp shows incorporated in its present form. Since that time, many thousands, even millions of naval personnel, including the Marine Corps and the Coast Guard, have been privileged to hear the entertainers who are so familiar to the American radio audience. Realization of the privilege has helped to maintain the ties with home which naval personnel place so highly in rating the assets of life in a democracy. These entertainers whom you hear on this program have been to the far corners of the earth for the sole purpose of bringing joy to the hearts of men whose lives are otherwise filled with the Reminders of war. In addition, many who cannot appear on this program have given their services. These services have could been contributed gratis when the individual could afford to do so. But gratis or not, the same generous spirit has been common to all. The entire entertainment world of radio, stage and screen has combined to contribute its bit to reminding the serviceman or woman that the American people are grateful for the service he or she is performing. In the background of this picture, but essential part thereof, are the musicians, the writers, the stagehands, the costume designers and the many other unseen workers who contribute to make camp shows the great success that it is. The entertainment varies from the one man show to a fair sized company, and all are received with enthusiasm at home and abroad. These groups are being maintained in spite of the demands which war makes on the manpower of the entertainment world as well as on all other professions. The entertainers and workers deserve the gratitude of the Navy. And it is my pleasure to extend to them and to camp shows on this Thanksgiving Day the thanks of every man and woman who wears the uniform of the United States Navy, the Marine Corps and the Coast Guard.

[Program Announcer]

Thank you, Admiral Denfeld. Take it away, Hollywood. To the stirring rhythm of the military drums marches yet another squad of soldiers and grease bays. As they approach, we can make out the rollicking features of Andy Devine, the elfin smile of Jimmy Burke, and the lovely lively figures of Jinx Falkenberg and Faye MacKenzie. Here indeed is a detail of veteran entertainers who have brought joy and spiritual comfort into the hearts of our boys everywhere.

[Bob Hope]

Listen.

[Kay Francis]

Detail.

[Bob Hope]

Help.

[Rear Admiral Louis E. Denfeld]

Ms. Falkenberg, Ms. McKenzie, Jim Burke. I hold in my hand a citation from headquarters. A citation for each of you for your work in the army camps of America and your appearances in the war zones overseas. Ms. McKenzie.

[Merle Oberon]

Thank you, Andy.

[Bob Hope]

Although I'm sure I don't know what we've done to.