Strange As It Seems 3x-xx-xx ep001 The Author Who Ate His Book

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Strange As It Seems – ep001: The Author Who Ate His Book
Date: September 29, 2025
Main Theme:
This episode of "Strange As It Seems" transports listeners to the golden age of radio, retelling remarkable stories of unusual people and improbable events, brought to life through dramatized vignettes. The focus in this episode is on three peculiar stories: an author forced to eat his book, the patriarch with 87 children, and a faithful woman who kept a lamp burning for 70 years.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Author Who Ate His Book

[01:05 – 04:22]

• Setting: Denmark, 1644, court of King Christian IV.
• Plot: Theodore Reinking is called before the king, accused of writing a book promoting democracy—deemed treasonous during wartime.
• Conflict: The king and his advisors see Reinking's ideas ("the rule of the people... they're ignorant and unfit to govern themselves" [02:25]) as subversive.
• Ultimatum: Given the option to either eat his book or face execution.
• Resolution:
  • Reinking consumes his book—"I tore it into tiny pieces and ate it in my soup" ([04:12] Theodore Reinking).
  • The king is satisfied, and Reinking’s life is spared, but the monarchy remains unchanged.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "Flame me if you will, your majesty, but the voice of the people cannot be forever silent. Others will rise to speak where I have stood." — Theodore Reinking [02:50]
  • "Eat it. Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner." — King's Advisor [03:12]
  • "It is easier to digest than your majesty assumes.” — Theodore Reinking [04:07]
  • “He ate it in his soup.” — Visitor/Kraus [04:15]

2. The World’s Largest Family

[04:22 – 07:08]

• Introduction: Segment transitions to a small Austrian town about patriarchs.
• Subject: Herr Scheinberg, approached by Kraus of the Orphans Welfare Society for a donation.
• Revelation: Herr Scheinberg claims to have 87 biological children, elaborating on two marriages:
  • First wife: four sets of quadruplets, seven sets of triplets, and sixteen sets of twins, plus other children.
  • Second wife: 18 children.
• Memorable Details:
  • Has bought 1,282 pairs of shoes and must now cook geese for 300 people for Christmas.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "Perhaps I have children. I got 87 children." — Herr Scheinberg [05:46]
  • “They are my children. My sons and daughters.” — Herr Scheinberg [05:55]
  • "In my life I have bought 1000, 282 pairs of shoes for my children. Today I got to buy geese for Christmas. Gies und mach z?" — Herr Scheinberg [06:31]
• Narrative Confirmation:
  • “Strange as it seems, according to an authentic report in the Vienna Medical Journal, Lenard Sheinberg has been the father of 87 children…enjoying excellent health as well as considerable fame as a family man.” — Narrator [07:08]

3. The Lamp That Burned 70 Years

[07:08 – 10:55]

• Setting: Outskirts of Binghamton, New York, late at night.
• Characters: A stranger lost in the fog seeks directions; greeted by an elderly woman with a lamp burning in the window.
• Story Unveiled:
  • The woman has kept the lamp burning each night for seventy years, hoping her lost love, John Bellowes, would return.
  • Her father had refused their marriage and driven John away; she has remained faithful ever since.
  • The lamp symbolizes her "undying love" ([10:14] Woman at the lamp).
  • She has not left the house in seventy years, sustained solely by memories.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "My light is always burning. It has been burning in that window every night for 70 years." — Woman at the lamp [09:17]
  • "The lamp is the symbol of my undying love." — Woman at the lamp [10:14]
  • "He was my only love. We shall meet again." — Woman at the lamp [10:35]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Martyrdom and Truth:
  • "Flame me if you will, your majesty, but the voice of the people cannot be forever silent." — Theodore Reinking [02:50]
• Bizarre Punishments:
  • "Eat it. Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner." — King's Advisor [03:12]
• Extraordinary Family:
  • "Perhaps I have children. I got 87 children." — Herr Scheinberg [05:46]
• Unwavering Devotion:
  • "My light is always burning. It has been burning in that window every night for 70 years." — Woman at the lamp [09:17]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:05] – The author and the king: the trial of Theodore Reinking.
• [03:07] – The challenge: eat the book or face execution.
• [04:12] – The author reveals he ate his book in soup.
• [05:46] – Herr Scheinberg claims 87 children.
• [06:31] – Herr Scheinberg on the costs of fatherhood.
• [09:17] – The woman explains her lamp has burned for 70 years.
• [10:14] – The symbolism of the lamp and lost love.

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language & Tone: Engaging, slightly whimsical, with dramatic flair typical of vintage radio drama.
• Narrative Style: Each story is acted out with period-appropriate dialogue and a focus on the “strange” and incredible, underscored by a matter-of-fact yet curious narrator.

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Summary:
This episode delivers a trio of remarkable, true (or truth-inspired) stories—each highlighting human resilience, eccentricity, and the enduring power of belief and love. It’s a showcase of how radio storytelling drew families together, made the incredible feel intimate, and left listeners with tales both strange and memorable.

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Transcript

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Narrator/Storyteller]

The author who ate his book. You are now in the year 1644. And the following scene takes place in the great council hall of his majesty, King Christian IV of Denmark. Here.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

The king is coming.

[Theodore Reinking]

Our sovereign carries his age well, but he's in a bad mood this morning. There's trouble in store for someone. Your Majesty.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Your Majesty.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Where is that prisoner?

[Theodore Reinking]

The prisoner is here, your majesty.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Step forward.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Are you Theodore Ranging?

[Theodore Reinking]

Yes, your Majesty.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Here is a book which I've been looking over. Are you the author?

[Theodore Reinking]

I am.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Silent.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Are you aware that what you've written here amounts to treason?

[Theodore Reinking]

I meant no disloyalty to my king or my country. I've written what I believe to be true.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

It's a lie. It's your intended to appeal to the emotions of my people, to stir up discontent, revolution. And above all, when we're in the midst of a vicious invasion by the army of Sweden.

[Theodore Reinking]

Your majesty.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Hear me.

[Visitor / Kraus]

You.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

You preach democracy, the rule of the people. They're ignorant and unfit to govern themselves.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Lots of people can govern you.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

You would put some.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Some adventurer on my throne, Sire.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Silence. You have committed a crime against the people you pretend to champion. This book is an offense against reason and justice. It's an infamous lie. For this disloyalty, you shall die.

[Theodore Reinking]

Flame me if you will, your majesty, but the voice of the people cannot be forever silent. Others will rise to speak where I have stood.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

So you would die a martyr for the cause of democracy, eh?

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Very well.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Then I shall give you an alternative.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Here is your book. Take it now.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Eat it.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner.

[Theodore Reinking]

It is the following morning.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

King Christian again sits upon his throne as the pale but undaunted writer is led before him.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Theodore Reinking, Are you prepared to receive your sentence?

[Theodore Reinking]

I am, your Majesty.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Executioner. Is the axe ready?

[Visitor / Kraus]

Exquisitely sharp, your gracious Majesty.

[Theodore Reinking]

But I claim to receive amnesty, you, Majesty. Yesterday you granted me an alternative.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Oh, so I did.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Do you mean to tell me you Managed to digest this fable about democracy?

[Theodore Reinking]

It is easier to digest than your majesty assumes.

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

What?

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

You ate the book?

[Theodore Reinking]

I tore it into tiny pieces and ate it in my soup.

[Visitor / Kraus]

He ate it in his soup.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Strange as it seems, Theodore Reinkian did eat his book on democracy. And Denmark has remained a monarchy. Incidentally, the king kept his word. The world's largest family. A patriarch is the father and ruler of a family or tribe. Abraham was a patriarch. Noah was. Well, Noah's family was almost too large. But in spite of modern tendencies, all the patriarchs are not dead. For in a little Austrian town lives. Herr Scheinberg.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Excuse me, Herr Scheinberg at home.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

I am Herr Scheinberg.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Herr Scheinberg, I am Kraus of the Orphans Welsh Society of Salzburg. I have come to ask of you a donation for the little orphan?

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

For the little one?

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

Yeah.

[Visitor / Kraus]

And the big ones too.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

You want that I should give you money for all those Salzburg children?

[Visitor / Kraus]

Oh, not all of them, Herr Salzburg.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Just the little ones and the big ones.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Surely you can afford a few crises, Herr Scheinberg.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

Perhaps you have children.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Perhaps I have children. I got 87 children.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Oh, you have orphan asylum also?

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Nein.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

They are my children. My sons and daughters.

[Visitor / Kraus]

You're joking.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

It is no joke.

[Visitor / Kraus]

But it is the most impossible.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Herrscheinberg, you think that I cannot count my own children.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

But 87.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

I was married twice.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

The first, Frau Scheinberg had four sets of quadruplets, seven sets of triplets and 16 sets of twins. She had 16, nine.

[Visitor / Kraus]

It is wonderful.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

The second, Frau Scheinberg had 18 children.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

That's a miracle.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

87 children I have.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Livy.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

What a blessing.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

A blessing. Maybe that's a blessing. In my life I have bought 1000, 282 pairs of shoes for my children. Today I got to buy geese for Christmas. Gies und mach z?

[King's Advisor / Executioner]

Pan.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

For 300 people. Come see me after New Year's. Maybe I give you a goose for the orphans.

[Visitor / Kraus]

Oh, excuse me, Herr Scheinberg.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

Merry Christmas, Herr Scheinberg.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Merry Christmas.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Strange as it seems, according to an authentic report in the Vienna Medical Journal, Lenard Sheinberg has been the father of 87 children. According to last reports, he was enjoying excellent health as well as considerable fame as a family man. The lamp that burned. 70 years. You are now in a little village on the outskirts of Binghamton, New York. It is late at night and a stranger gropes his way through the foggy darkness. The last resident of the town seems to have gone to bed. But wait. Yes, There is a light faintly glimmering through the fog. The stranger thickens his steps. At last, here is someone who may be able to direct him.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

Who's there?

[Narrator/Storyteller]

I walked my way in the park.

[Court Official / Visitor]

And saw your light burning in the window.

[King Christian IV / Herr Scheinberg]

Can you tell me where Mr. Fellows lives?

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

What.

[Woman at the lamp]

What name did you say?

[Court Official / Visitor]

I'm looking for the home of Mr. R.H. fellows.

[Woman at the lamp]

Oh, I. I thought you said Bellows. Are you sure you don't mean Fellows?

[Court Official / Visitor]

No, madam. The name is Fellows.

[Woman at the lamp]

Well, if you wish to come in.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Oh, thank you.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

I will for a minute.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Ah, it's very cozy in here. But didn't I hear someone playing the melodeon?

[Woman at the lamp]

I play it sometime at night.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Well, I'm thankful someone keeps a light burning in this village after 10 o'. Clock.

[Woman at the lamp]

My light is always burning. It has been burning in that window every night for 70 years.

[Court Official / Visitor]

Seventy years?

[Woman at the lamp]

Yes.

[Court Official / Visitor]

May I take the liberty of asking.

[Theodore Reinking]

For whom you've been waiting all these years?

[Woman at the lamp]

For him. Did you say you knew someone named Ennos?

[Court Official / Visitor]

No, madam.

[Woman at the lamp]

Everyone has forgotten him except me. John Bellowes was a good man. If he still lives, he will come back to me.

[Court Official / Visitor]

You were to marry him?

[Woman at the lamp]

Yes, but my father would not give his consent.

[Herr Scheinberg / Woman at the lamp]

He drove John Bellows from our house. Oh, listen.

[Woman at the lamp]

Did you hear someone at the gate?

[Court Official / Visitor]

No. It was only the wind rising. It will clear away the fog.

[Woman at the lamp]

Oh. The lamp is the symbol of my undying love.

[Court Official / Visitor]

You cannot forget.

[Woman at the lamp]

My memories are all I have. For 70 years I have not left this house.

[Court Official / Visitor]

17 years.

[Woman at the lamp]

He was my only love. We shall meet again.

[Court Official / Visitor]

I hope so. The weather's clearing now, so I'll be on my way. Thank you for asking me in. Good night, madam.

[Woman at the lamp]

Good night.

[Narrator/Announcer]

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