Strange As It Seems 3x-xx-xx ep001 The Author Who Ate His Book

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - "Strange As It Seems 3x-xx-xx ep001 The Author Who Ate His Book"

Release Date: May 22, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Strange As It Seems," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, where intriguing tales of strange facts, peculiar happenings, and unusual characters come to life. This episode, "The Author Who Ate His Book," weaves together three distinct stories that blend historical fiction with mysterious narratives, offering a rich and engaging listening experience.

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Story 1: The Author Who Ate His Book

Setting: The year 1644, in the grand council hall of King Christian IV of Denmark.

Plot Overview: The episode opens with Theodore Reinking, an author who finds himself in the royal court of King Christian IV. Reinking is accused of treason for his writings that advocate for democracy, a concept threatening the monarchy during a time of Swedish invasion.

Key Scenes and Quotes:

• Accusation of Treason:
  King Christian IV: "Are you Theodore Ranging?" [02:00]
  Theodore Reinking: "Yes, your Majesty." [02:00]
  King Christian IV: "Are you aware that what you've written here amounts to treason?" [02:04]
  This exchange sets the stage for the conflict between the author and the monarch.

• Defense of His Work:
  Theodore Reinking: "I meant no disloyalty to my king or my country. I've written what I believe to be true." [02:09]
  Reinking passionately defends his intentions, emphasizing his commitment to truth over loyalty.

• The King's Ultimatum:
  King Christian IV: "Here is your book. Take it now. Eat it. Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner." [02:59]
  Faced with execution, Reinking is given a bizarre choice that underscores the absurdity of the royal decree.

• The Dramatic Choice:
  Theodore Reinking: "It tore it into tiny pieces and ate it in my soup." [04:07]
  Reinking's act of consuming his own book symbolizes his unwavering dedication to his beliefs, even in the face of death.

Conclusion of the Story: Despite the King's attempts to silence him, Reinking's defiance ensures that his message cannot be easily eradicated, hinting at the enduring power of ideas over authoritarian suppression.

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Story 2: Herr Scheinberg and His 87 Children

Setting: A quaint Austrian town, spotlighting the extraordinary life of Herr Scheinberg.

Plot Overview: The narrative shifts to Herr Scheinberg, a man with an unprecedented 87 children. Kraus from the Orphans Welsh Society of Salzburg visits Scheinberg to request donations for orphans, only to discover the source of his large family.

Key Scenes and Quotes:

• Introduction of Herr Scheinberg's Family:
  Theodore Reinking: "Strange as it seems, Theodore Reinkian did eat his book on democracy. And Denmark has remained a monarchy." [04:22]
  This segues into the introduction of Herr Scheinberg, highlighting the marvel of his extensive family.

• Kraus's Request:
  Kraus: "I have come to ask of you a donation for the little orphan?" [05:11]
  Scheinberg's response reveals the true reason behind his polygamous family structure.

• Revealing the Numbers:
  King Christian IV: "I have 87 children." [06:06]
  The staggering number of children is broken down, showcasing the miraculous and almost unbelievable nature of his family.

• Humorous Interaction:
  Kraus: "Surely you can afford a few crises, Herr Scheinberg." [05:40]
  King Christian IV: "Perhaps you have children. Perhaps I have children. I got 87 children." [05:44]
  This lighthearted exchange emphasizes the sheer scale of Scheinberg's household.

Conclusion of the Story: Herr Scheinberg's ability to manage such a large family is presented as both a blessing and a logistical marvel, leaving listeners in awe of his familial dedication and the complexities it entails.

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Story 3: The Lonely Madam in Binghamton

Setting: A small village on the outskirts of Binghamton, New York, late at night amidst foggy darkness.

Plot Overview: The final narrative centers on a mysterious encounter between Theodore Reinking and an unnamed madam who has diligently kept a lamp burning for 70 years, awaiting the return of her lost love, John Bellows.

Key Scenes and Quotes:

• The Enigmatic Meeting:
  Theodore Reinking: "It is late at night and a stranger gropes his way through the foggy darkness." [07:00]
  This introduction sets a haunting and melancholic tone for the encounter.

• Authentic Longing:
  Unnamed Madam: "My memories are all I have. For 70 years I have not left this house." [10:22]
  The madam's unwavering hope and dedication to her lost love are poignantly expressed.

• Emotional Exchange:
  Theodore Reinking: "You were to marry him?" [09:56]
  Unnamed Madam: "Yes, but my father would not give his consent. He drove John Bellows from our house." [09:58]
  This backstory adds depth to her character, highlighting themes of lost love and unfulfilled promises.

• Symbolism of the Lamp:
  Unnamed Madam: "The lamp is the symbol of my undying love." [10:10]
  The lamp serves as a powerful metaphor for enduring love and the human capacity for hope.

Conclusion of the Story: As the fog clears and Reinking departs, the madam remains steadfast in her vigil, embodying the eternal human yearning for connection and the lengths one will go to preserve cherished memories.

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Conclusion

"Strange As It Seems" masterfully intertwines historical fiction with mysterious storytelling, creating a tapestry of unique characters and compelling narratives. From an author's defiant consumption of his own work to the astonishingly large family of Herr Scheinberg, and finally, the eternal vigil of a lonely madam, each story offers a glimpse into the extraordinary facets of human experience. This episode not only entertains but also provokes thought about the power of ideas, the complexities of family, and the depths of human emotion.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Theodore Reinking: "I meant no disloyalty to my king or my country. I've written what I believe to be true." [02:09]
• King Christian IV: "Here is your book. Take it now. Eat it. Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner." [02:59]
• Theodore Reinking: "It tore it into tiny pieces and ate it in my soup." [04:07]
• King Christian IV: "I have 87 children." [06:06]
• Unnamed Madam: "The lamp is the symbol of my undying love." [10:10]

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This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview of the key stories, character interactions, and memorable quotes, ensuring that both avid listeners and newcomers alike can fully appreciate the richness of the content.

Transcript

[John Hicks]

The makers of XLAX present. Strange as it seems tonight, xlax, the original chocolated laxative, brings you another of its fascinating series of strange facts. Strange happenings, strange people. But first, we want to suggest that you try Ex Lax. The next time you need a laxative. You'll find it delightful. Milder, gentler, yet thoroughly effective. You'll like its delicious chocolate taste. It's so much more pleasant to take than some nasty tasting medicine. You'll understand why more people take Exlax than any other laxative in the entire world.

[Theodore Reinking]

The author who ate his book. You are now in the year 1644. And the following scene takes place in the great council hall of his majesty, King Christian IV of Denmark. Here.

[King Christian IV]

The king is coming.

[Kraus]

Our sovereign carries his age well, but he's in a bad mood this morning.

[Theodore Reinking]

There's trouble in store for someone. Your Majesty. Your Majesty.

[King Christian IV]

Where is that prisoner?

[Theodore Reinking]

The prisoner is here, your majesty.

[King Christian IV]

Step forward. Are you Theodore Ranging?

[Theodore Reinking]

Yes, your Majesty.

[King Christian IV]

Here is a book which I've been looking over.

[Theodore Reinking]

Are you the author? I am. Silent.

[King Christian IV]

Are you aware that what you've written here amounts to treason?

[Theodore Reinking]

I meant no disloyalty to my king or my country. I've written what I believe to be true.

[King Christian IV]

It's a lie. It's your intended to appeal to the emotions of my people, to stir up discontent, revolution. And above all, when we're in the midst of a vicious invasion by the army of Sweden.

[Theodore Reinking]

Your majesty. Hear me. You.

[King Christian IV]

You preach democracy, the rule of the people. They're ignorant and unfit to govern themselves.

[Theodore Reinking]

Lots of people can govern you.

[King Christian IV]

You would put some. Some adventurer on my throne, Sire. Silence. You have committed a crime against the people you pretend to champion. This book is an offense against reason and justice. It's an infamous lie. For this disloyalty, you shall die.

[Theodore Reinking]

Flame me if you will, your majesty, but the voice of the people cannot be forever silent. Others will rise to speak where I have stood.

[King Christian IV]

So you would die a martyr for the cause of democracy, eh? Very well. Then I shall give you an alternative. Here is your book. Take it now. Eat it. Or tomorrow your head will fall under the axe of my executioner.

[Theodore Reinking]

It is the following morning. King Christian again sits upon his throne as the pale but undaunted writer is led before him.

[King Christian IV]

Theodore Reinking, Are you prepared to receive your sentence?

[Theodore Reinking]

I am, your Majesty.

[King Christian IV]

Executioner. Is the axe ready?

[Kraus]

Exquisitely sharp, your gracious Majesty.

[Theodore Reinking]

But I claim to receive amnesty, you, Majesty. Yesterday you granted me an alternative.

[King Christian IV]

Oh, so I did. Do you mean to tell me you Managed to digest this fable about democracy?

[Theodore Reinking]

It is easier to digest than your majesty assumes.

[King Christian IV]

What? You ate the book?

[Theodore Reinking]

I tore it into tiny pieces and ate it in my soup.

[Kraus]

He ate it in his soup.

[Theodore Reinking]

Strange as it seems, Theodore Reinkian did eat his book on democracy. And Denmark has remained a monarchy. Incidentally, the king kept his word. The world's largest family. A patriarch is the father and ruler of a family or tribe. Abraham was a patriarch. Noah was. Well, Noah's family was almost too large. But in spite of modern tendencies, all the patriarchs are not dead. For in a little Austrian town lives. Herr Scheinberg.

[Kraus]

Excuse me, Herr Scheinberg at home.

[King Christian IV]

I am Herr Scheinberg.

[Kraus]

Herr Scheinberg, I am Kraus of the Orphans Welsh Society of Salzburg. I have come to ask of you a donation for the little orphan?

[King Christian IV]

For the little one?

[Kraus]

Yeah. And the big ones too.

[King Christian IV]

You want that I should give you money for all those Salzburg children?

[Kraus]

Oh, not all of them, Herr Salzburg.

[Theodore Reinking]

Just the little ones and the big ones.

[Kraus]

Surely you can afford a few crises, Herr Scheinberg.

[King Christian IV]

Perhaps you have children. Perhaps I have children. I got 87 children.

[Kraus]

Oh, you have orphan asylum also?

[King Christian IV]

Nein. They are my children. My sons and daughters.

[Kraus]

You're joking.

[King Christian IV]

It is no joke.

[Kraus]

But it is the most impossible.

[King Christian IV]

Herrscheinberg, you think that I cannot count my own children.

[Kraus]

But 87.

[King Christian IV]

I was married twice. The first, Frau Scheinberg had four sets of quadruplets, seven sets of triplets and 16 sets of twins. She had 16, nine.

[Kraus]

It is wonderful.

[King Christian IV]

The second, Frau Scheinberg had 18 children. That's a miracle. 87 children I have.

[Theodore Reinking]

Livy.

[Kraus]

What a blessing.

[King Christian IV]

A blessing. Maybe that's a blessing. In my life I have bought 1000, 282 pairs of shoes for my children. Today I got to buy geese for Christmas. Gies und mach z? Pan. For 300 people. Come see me after New Year's. Maybe I give you a goose for the orphans.

[Kraus]

Oh, excuse me, Herr Scheinberg. Merry Christmas, Herr Scheinberg.

[Theodore Reinking]

Yeah, yeah.

[King Christian IV]

Merry Christmas.

[Theodore Reinking]

Strange as it seems, according to an authentic report in the Vienna Medical Journal, Lenard Sheinberg has been the father of 87 children. According to last reports, he was enjoying excellent health as well as considerable fame as a family man. The lamp that burned. 70 years. You are now in a little village on the outskirts of Binghamton, New York. It is late at night and a stranger gropes his way through the foggy darkness. The last resident of the town seems to have gone to bed. But wait. Yes, There is a light faintly glimmering through the fog. The stranger thickens his steps. At last, here is someone who may be able to direct him.

[Unnamed Madam]

Who's there?

[King Christian IV]

I walked my way in the park.

[Theodore Reinking]

And saw your light burning in the window. Can you tell me where Mr. Fellows lives?

[Unnamed Madam]

What. What name did you say?

[Theodore Reinking]

I'm looking for the home of Mr. R.H. fellows.

[Unnamed Madam]

Oh, I. I thought you said Bellows. Are you sure you don't mean Fellows?

[Theodore Reinking]

No, madam. The name is Fellows.

[Unnamed Madam]

Well, if you wish to come in.

[Theodore Reinking]

Oh, thank you. I will for a minute. Ah, it's very cozy in here. But didn't I hear someone playing the melodeon?

[Unnamed Madam]

I play it sometime at night.

[Theodore Reinking]

Well, I'm thankful someone keeps a light burning in this village after 10 o' clock.

[Unnamed Madam]

My light is always burning. It has been burning in that window every night for 70 years.

[Theodore Reinking]

Seventy years?

[Unnamed Madam]

Yes.

[Theodore Reinking]

May I take the liberty of asking for whom you've been waiting all these years?

[Unnamed Madam]

For him. Did you say you knew someone named Ennos?

[Theodore Reinking]

No, madam.

[Unnamed Madam]

Everyone has forgotten him except me. John Bellowes was a good man. If he still lives, he will come back to me.

[Theodore Reinking]

You were to marry him?

[Unnamed Madam]

Yes, but my father would not give his consent. He drove John Bellows from our house. Oh, listen. Did you hear someone at the gate?

[Theodore Reinking]

No. It was only the wind rising. It will clear away the fog.

[Unnamed Madam]

Oh. The lamp is the symbol of my undying love.

[Theodore Reinking]

You cannot forget.

[Unnamed Madam]

My memories are all I have. For 70 years I have not left this house.

[Theodore Reinking]

17 years.

[Unnamed Madam]

He was my only love. We shall meet again.

[Theodore Reinking]

I hope so. The weather's clearing now, so I'll be on my way. Thank you for asking me in. Good night, madam.

[Unnamed Madam]

Good night.

[John Hicks]

The whole wide world. More people use it than any other brand. And you'll like it too. You'll like its mildness, gentleness, effectiveness. Its delicious chocolate taste. You'll like the fact that it is equally good for young and old, so that you need only one laxative for the entire family. Incidentally, you will also like the price. A box costs only 10 cents at any drugstore. A man called the New York Times by telephone. He was talking from Long island, but the message went via the South Pole. Hear the story of this amazing experience on our next Strange as it Seems program. You will also meet the fascinating English woman who tempted fate. What strange destiny was waiting for her? You have just heard Strange. Strange As It Seems by John Hicks Directed by Cyril Armrester. Calvin Coolidge was never governor of a state.