Podcast Summary: "Tales From The Morgue xx-xx-xx Elmer And The Book Of Absolute Truth"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: Reliving the Golden Age of Radio with classic-style broadcasts featuring beloved shows like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and more.
• Episode: Tales From The Morgue xx-xx-xx Elmer And The Book Of Absolute Truth
• Release Date: June 17, 2025

Introduction

The episode kicks off with the signature introduction by Chet Cheddar, setting the stage for a thrilling adventure:

[00:05] Chet Cheddar: "MJ Audio Theater presents Chet Cheddar's Tales from the Morgue."

Elmer Korn, the protagonist, welcomes listeners with a light-hearted mention of his current predicament:

[00:32] Elmer Korn: "Hello there."

He humorously references a plumbing issue at the morgue, painting a vivid picture of flooding and the unfortunate demise of rats unable to adapt:

[00:37] Elmer Korn: "Just come right in. Wade on through and have a seat... Unfortunately, I'm not a plumber. You see, our old rusty pipes just gave out on us last night, so the floor is full of water. It looks like the rats could not adapt to their marine-like environment. Many of them have drowned, you know. Now a story to tell."

The Proposition

Elmer's mundane life takes an unexpected turn when Chet Cheddar introduces him to a unique opportunity:

[03:00] Chet Cheddar: "Well, if Intelligence is correct, this should be the home of Elmer Corn."

Chet represents Otto J. Williamsburg, a multimillionaire with a grand proposition for Elmer:

[03:10] Chet Cheddar: "I represent the state of Otto J. Williamsburg... Mr. Williamsburg wants to meet with you."

Despite initial skepticism, Elmer is intrigued by the promise of adventure and a substantial reward:

[09:13] Elmer Korn: "Oh, boy. Quarter of a million? I could pay off my mortgage, have a little bit left over."

[09:25] Otto J. Williamsburg: "I would imagine you would have quite a bit left over, Mr. Corn. You'd be a fool to pass up this offer."

Encouraged by the potential reward, Elmer agrees to embark on the quest:

[09:32] Elmer Korn: "Yeah, I guess I'd kick myself if I didn't do it... Okay."

The Journey to Kashtar

Elmer and his guide, Achmed, travel to Kashtar, a remote country near India, to begin the search for the elusive Book of Absolute Truth. Upon arrival, Elmer is greeted by Achmed and Asha, a local sheriff who warns him of the dangers ahead:

[11:05] Asha: "Hey."

[13:05] Asha: "I am Achmed, at your service, my friend."

Encounter with Asha and Achmed

Elmer meets Asha, who provides crucial information about the Book of Absolute Truth and the perils guarding it:

[13:40] Asha: "Mr. Williamsburg informed me that you will be arriving today. You are seeking the Book of Absolute Truth?"

Asha elaborates on the mythic nature of the book, guarded by Ajah, the God of Truth, and warns of the dangers posed by pygmies:

[13:57] Asha: "The Book of Absolute Truth... There are many dangers in finding it... the pygmies live at the bottom of the canyon as well."

The Quest in the Cave of a Thousand Terrors

Guided by Asha, Elmer ventures into the treacherous Cave of a Thousand Terrors. Inside, he faces formidable challenges, including rabid monkeys and piranhas, testing his resolve and survival skills:

[21:15] Narrator: "You humans are so stupid. I am Asha and I am omnipresent. Ayesha, you have come in search of the book?"

Despite the overwhelming odds, Elmer perseveres, demonstrating both humor and determination:

[23:06] Elmer Korn: "I gotta swing across this thing. Here we go. Cross my chest."

[25:05] Elmer Korn: "Oh, thanks, Hawkman. Yes. Third time you saved my life. Yes, I'm gonna share some of that cord of a million with you."

Finally, Elmer locates the Book of Absolute Truth, but his triumph is short-lived as unexpected twists unravel the true nature of his quest.

The Revelation

In a dramatic turn of events, Otto J. Williamsburg's true intentions are revealed. It becomes apparent that the entire adventure was orchestrated for a fabricated reality show:

[25:28] Otto J. Williamsburg: "The book. Give me that Worth estate."

[25:39] Otto J. Williamsburg: "My movie has been ruined. I told you not to interfere when he entered the cave."

Asha exposes the deception behind the quest:

[25:49] Asha: "The Book of Absolute Truth does not exist."

Elmer confronts the betrayal, realizing he has been part of a staged production:

[27:01] Elmer Korn: "I'm a 14 karat gold sucker... That was just you on a speaker, wasn't it?"

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Elmer returning to his flooded morgue, reflecting on the unlikely adventure he endured. While he didn't receive the promised reward, he gains an incredible story to share:

[28:20] Elmer Korn: "Oh, heck, I'm all for it. Watch out for the rabid monkeys... That was our story for today."

He humorously ties back to his initial predicament, leaving listeners with a sense of closure and anticipation for future tales:

[29:14] Chet Cheddar: "You have just heard Chet Cheddar's Tales from the Morgue. Today's installment, Elmer and the Book of Absolute Truth. The names and characters portrayed in this production are fictitious. Any similarities to our persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. A production by MJ Audio Theater."

Key Takeaways:

• Character Development: Elmer Korn transitions from a mundane morgue attendant to an unwitting adventurer, highlighting his everyman qualities and unexpected bravery.
• Themes: The episode explores themes of deception, the allure of adventure, and the unforeseen consequences of chasing mythical truths.
• Humor and Suspense: Balancing humor with suspenseful moments, the narrative engages listeners through Elmer's witty remarks and the escalating dangers he faces.
• Twist Ending: The revelation that the quest was a staged reality show adds a layer of irony, questioning the authenticity of perceived adventures.

Notable Quotes:

• Elmer Korn on Accepting the Quest:

  [09:13] Elmer Korn: "Oh, boy. Quarter of a million? I could pay off my mortgage, have a little bit left over."

• Asha on the Book's Existence:

  [25:49] Asha: "The Book of Absolute Truth does not exist."

• Otto J. Williamsburg's Deception:

  [26:04] Otto J. Williamsburg: "I told you how much I despise television and movies. But this, this was real. And it was going perfectly until Achmed ruined it."

• Elmer's Reflection:

  [28:13] Asha: "They'll come with me to the Idiot Cafe, Mr. Gordon. We would drink many zombies and talk about good times."

This episode masterfully blends classic radio storytelling with modern twists, delivering an entertaining and thought-provoking narrative that stays true to the spirit of the Golden Age of Radio.