Tales of Tomorrow 53-01-15 (03) Betelgeuse Bridge

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Tales of Tomorrow 53-01-15 (03) Betelgeuse Bridge"

Release Date: May 12, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Genre: Golden Age Radio Science Fiction

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Betelgeuse Bridge," adapted from William Ken's story, listeners are transported to a narrative where humanity encounters an advanced alien civilization. Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio and featuring the character Dick Grove, the story delves into themes of first contact, cultural misunderstanding, and the perils of overreliance on superior technology.

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Arrival of the Alien Species

The tale begins with the unexpected landing of two enigmatic extraterrestrial beings on Earth. These creatures, hailing from the distant planet Betelgeuse, possess intelligence surpassing human genius. Their graceful and charming demeanor belies their unorthodox, snail-like appearance.

Notable Quote:
Omentor: "These two most strange and amazing bodies have landed upon Earth. Intelligence far superior to the cleanest human genius."
[00:44]

The official welcome of the aliens, Andy and Dandy, sparks widespread speculation about their civilization and intentions. Their presence challenges humanity's perception of itself as the universe's predominant species.

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Public Relations Campaign

Recognizing the potential for public hysteria, the government initiates a comprehensive public relations campaign to present Andy and Dandy as amiable and intelligent beings. Dick Grove, a sociologist recruited for this mission, oversees the operation to ensure a positive reception.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Warbury: "We want to give boom casual. Of fairly amiable, fairly intelligent race."
[04:10]

The campaign includes features in popular magazines, a video show, and a comic strip, all aimed at endearing the aliens to the public. Notably, the characters Andy and Dandy are introduced as friendly figures to mitigate fear and suspicion.

Notable Quote:
Dick Grove: "Those two little snails are gonna climb right into America's heart. The public will eat 'em up."
[08:11]

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The Trade Deal

As the PR campaign gains traction, Dick Grove and his team negotiate with Andy and Dandy to secure "revitalizers"—machines that significantly extend human life expectancy by regenerating cytoplasm in animal cells.

Notable Quote:
Andy: "We could not in our lowly tongue have expressed it so succinctly and movingly... we live five lifetimes instead of the one which could properly be our lot."
[14:12]

The negotiators offer Earth's abundant radioactive elements in exchange for the revitalizers. After intense deliberations, Andy and Dandy tentatively agree to consider the exchange, leading to a global effort to mine and supply the necessary radioactive materials.

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The Fallout and Betrayal

Two years into the arrangement, the revitalizers abruptly cease functioning, causing a dramatic increase in the global death rate. It is revealed that Andy and Dandy never intended to share their life-extending technology. Instead, their mission was a guise to extract Earth's radioactive resources for their own civilization, which is in dire need of these elements.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Warbury: "They are a decadent and dying race... We've been sold to Brooklyn Bridge by some dressed up sharpies from Betelgeuse."
[22:40]

The realization that humanity has been duped leads to widespread disillusionment and despair. The aliens' true intentions surface, showcasing a profound cultural and ethical divide between the two species.

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Conclusion and Aftermath

In the aftermath of the betrayal, Dick Grove is summoned by Dr. Warbury to manage the public's reaction to the devastating revelation about the revitalizers. Faced with the challenge of restoring faith and preventing societal collapse, Grove is tasked with crafting a new public relations strategy to address the crisis.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Warbury: "They have been appointed to do a public relations job to prepare our good citizens for the shock."
[24:17]

The episode concludes with a somber reflection on humanity's vulnerability when dealing with superior civilizations and the importance of critical oversight in international agreements.

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Insights and Themes

"Betelgeuse Bridge" serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of naivety in international and interstellar relations. It explores the complexities of cross-cultural communication, the temptation of technological advancement, and the ethical implications of exploitation. The story underscores the necessity for vigilance and skepticism when confronted with entities that possess advanced capabilities.

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Conclusion

This episode of "Tales of Tomorrow" masterfully weaves a narrative that is both engaging and thought-provoking. Through its rich dialogue and intricate plot, it invites listeners to contemplate humanity's place in the universe and the potential consequences of our interactions with the unknown.

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Notable Characters and Voice Actors:

• Dick Grove: Voiced by Will Long Quartz
• Andy: Voiced by John Gibson
• Professor: Voiced by John Stanley
• Host (Omentor): Voiced by Raymond Edward Johnson

Production Credits:

• Music Composer and Conductor: Bobby Christian
• Script Adaptation: Don Whitty
• Producer: ABC in association with George Soley
• Director: Clark Andrews
• Narration: Dorian St. George

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Tune in next week for another extraordinary tale from Galaxy Science Fiction magazine, titled "The Other" by Murray Leinster, exploring the poignant story of a man whose deceased wife continues to record her thoughts posthumously.

Transcript

[Dick Grove]

Tales of Tomorrow. Tales beyond human imagination. Until they have Tales of Tomorrow. Story number three, Wicked Earth Bridge, by William Ken.

[Omentor]

This is your host, o mentor, saying hello for abc.

[Dick Grove]

Today.

[Omentor]

We members of the human race, politely speaking, are taking ourselves for granted as the kings of the universe. But are we kings? I should like to tell you the tale of tomorrow from Gallic through Science Fiction magazine. It should make us wonder if actually perhaps there are figures by somewhere compared to whom human intelligence is sibling perfect future time. Two most strange and amazing bodies have landed upon Earth. Intelligence far superior to the cleanest human genius. My observation is tremendous. You never think it possible for creatures of their forbidding appearance to be so completely gracious and charming. But while the official welcome is underway, speculation is high as to the civilization Aspie and Dan Day represent. They're home on a distant planet.

[Professor]

Well, can we say our mission has.

[Dick Grove]

Been successful so far only.

[Professor]

Oh, you look ready for the grave, Dick.

[Andy]

Why don't you get lost for a.

[Professor]

Couple of weeks and catch up in the rest?

[Dick Grove]

I can't even afford a nervous breakdown. It'd be a lot more satisfying.

[Andy]

What's left to do?

[Dick Grove]

I'd tell you that if you tell me. What are these strange creatures after down here?

[Professor]

Do you really think I want something?

[Dick Grove]

I don't know what to think. That's why I'm wearing bags under my eyes. Honey, I don't know about you, but I don't feel I can afford this.

[Dr. Warbury]

Lady.

[Dick Grove]

You'Re probably wondering who I am and how I came to be mixed up in what we'll call Le Pear beefalter. Let me fill you in. We can start with that day when the alien spaceship landed outside of Baltimore. Makes you sick to think how he never tumbled, doesn't he? No more than a hop skip and a jet from the Capitol. Security was clamped on tighter than a mason shower person. My old sociology crop was carried in by Jeff Plain after the problem had become clear. It called it form without batting an eyelash. I was the answer. Within an hour, my entire staff and I were plucked out of our New York offices by the government agents and hair mailed to a ballot hill near Balmore. The field was alive with Washington brass coast tails flapping in the wind.

[Dr. Warbury]

So you finally got here.

[Dick Grove]

Finally. I couldn't even pack a toothpaste, Professor.

[Dr. Warbury]

Time is important, my boy.

[Dick Grove]

Does anyone explain Something about a spaceship is all I Is that it?

[Dr. Warbury]

That over there doesn't look much like our notion of one, does it?

[Dick Grove]

Rocco Spheri.

[Dr. Warbury]

And a curious is that there's not A sign of a rocket motor.

[Dick Grove]

Any sign of life on it?

[Dr. Warbury]

That's the really remarkable part. Come along. You'll have to meet our distinguished visitors.

[Dick Grove]

How will they know what I'm saying?

[Dr. Warbury]

We have Dr. Warbury out here. Your information may learn English from him in two hours.

[Dick Grove]

Two hours? Nice view.

[Dr. Warbury]

Superhuman.

[Dick Grove]

Get that date because it will be.

[Dr. Warbury]

Very important in what you have to do. The best engineering minds this country can assemble. They're like a crowd of South Sea islanders in comparison. These creatures belong to a galaxy wide civilization. We are backward hicks in an unfrequented corner of space that's to be opened up for exploration.

[Dick Grove]

Exploration? That is.

[Dr. Warbury]

If we measure up. Exploitation? Probably. If we don't.

[Dick Grove]

Where do they come from?

[Dr. Warbury]

Betelgirls. 9th Planet of the star Betel girls. That's their home base.

[Dick Grove]

I see.

[Dr. Warbury]

Now here's the plan. Firmly using the technical stuff. The brains like Lopez and 9th. They're already going psychotic trying to locate a power source in that contraption. How fast your job is more immediate. You're the good impression part of the program.

[Dick Grove]

What's the matter with our government Grand Adder?

[Dr. Warbury]

When you see our distinguished gifts you'll understand why this problem is completely different. It's as though they're coming out of the ship. Now they're right in time.

[Dick Grove]

Yes.

[Dr. Warbury]

Here they come. Oh. Oh yes.

[Dick Grove]

Why they look like snails.

[Dr. Warbury]

Human mollusks if you like.

[Dick Grove]

Nine feet of whiny green trunks with a pink shell where the back should be.

[Dr. Warbury]

And those eyeballs waving around on the end of their stalks. I know.

[Dick Grove]

Positive. Exactly. Where are their mouths? Aside from those eye stalks?

[Dr. Warbury]

They've got no face. The mouth is where their feet should be. What? You'll see it when they lift an edge of that wide base. They stand on such a impossible. Now do you see where a public relations job comes in?

[Dick Grove]

Monsters from outer space. That the kind of talk you're worried about?

[Dr. Warbury]

Probably worse. Snails with superiority complexes. Dirty snails would be more likely. Remember your own reaction and think what it would be when whipped to mob hysteria by spare headlines.

[Dick Grove]

Yeah. Now I see why you wanted a public relations.

[Dr. Warbury]

We don't want them carrying stories back to their civilization of being shot at by a suspicion fanatic. Or about somebody who screamed go back where you came from, you foreign seafood. We want to give boom casual. Of fairly amiable, fairly intelligent race. This one can be dealt with reasonably well.

[Dick Grove]

Well, they set up trading posts on this planet instead of garrison. Yeah, yeah. I see what they're mean. Hold it.

[Dr. Warbury]

They see me when they're coming over to get a cleaner.

[Dick Grove]

What? I knew I was coming.

[Dr. Warbury]

They know. Who? Everybody.

[Dick Grove]

This is Mr. Dick Grove we told you about. Glad to know you.

[Andy]

You, honored, sir, are our textile touchstone, the link with all that is great in your noble race. Your attention is truly a tribute.

[Dick Grove]

I'll do my best. Are you ambassador? Sort of. Or explorers?

[Andy]

Our small risk justifies. Justifies no title. Yet we are both. All communication is ambassadorship of a kind. And any seeker after knowledge is an extoll.

[Dick Grove]

That's a foolish question.

[Andy]

My companion is what you would call the observer of our expedition. Expedition? My own forecast is merely to act as our spokesman. You may depend upon our utmost obedience in anything you ask. We understand your awesome function and we wish to be liked to whatever extent possible for such miserable creatures as ourselves. We place ourselves entirely in your hands.

[Dick Grove]

Well, thanks. Thanks a lot. You can understand what a job I face. All those years of lurid magazine covers showing females menaced by assorted monstrosity. The horror movies, the invasion from outer space, Marvels. The Sunday supplement Flight class. All those sturdy psychological ruts. I had to retract. The government offered me a month for the preparatory propaganda. The end of the first week I settled down with my secretary to check our schedule. This will give you an idea of the magnitude of our little chore.

[Professor]

Who's the checklist from? Project Pat. You asked for a bit.

[Dick Grove]

You have to put a girl on the full time to keep up your face. Patty, take down his latest development. Scientific articles from Children's Men have come in and are being shredded up here in the office magazine. Maps are being ripped apart and held open for them. They'll appear in the newsstands next week.

[Professor]

Did you persuade those magazines?

[Dick Grove]

Now? The government boys handled that. Thank Evans.

[Professor]

What about the newspaper, Sandra?

[Dick Grove]

Well, they had features on the wire yesterday describing humble creatures who create our garden snail racing, the spectacular new source and the basic unity of all living things.

[Professor]

And if the public doesn't like snails after this barrage, what more can you do?

[Dick Grove]

Plenty. They're gonna hit him on the head with a video show starting next Tuesday. It'll be carried on all major networks at the same time.

[Professor]

That sounds great.

[Dick Grove]

Those two little snails are gonna climb right into America's heart. The public will eat em up.

[Professor]

What are you calling them?

[Dick Grove]

Andy and Dandy.

[Professor]

How can they miss?

[Dick Grove]

They got 14 top writers collaborating on the script. Added to the video show is the comic strip. The movie's gonna take a little longer, but there'll be a full length Andy and Dandy cartoon playing every Single across the company.

[Professor]

This campaign is genius, Mr. Rose.

[Andy]

Pure genius.

[Professor]

You realize there never been anything like it in District.

[Dick Grove]

May there never be anything like it again. We bombarded the public through every channel of communications open to us. We changed the century. Zero prejudice against snails practically overnight. You can understand all this need for speed. Of course, when the big announcement came, that had to be handled exactly right or all our pro snail propaganda would blow up on our faces. And after the newspapers were carefully prepared, along with 10 suggested headlines. When release time came, even the Times was forced to shriek. Andy and Dandy blow in from Babelgirs. And under that a four column cup of baby Ann Joyce with the snails. After that, the nicknames Andy and Dandy sucked. But while everything was progressing nicely on the outside, the picture behind the scenes was dark and gloomy. I drew down to Washington to Chuck Patrosen, who was making his headquarters at the Pentagon. Close the door, will you, Dick? Oh, sure, Professor.

[Dr. Warbury]

Now I can talk frankly. Things are not going well, son.

[Dick Grove]

Nothing's reduced on earth. I forgot that your warm reception has. These characters are enjoying.

[Dr. Warbury]

You're to be congratulated.

[Dick Grove]

Ah, standard stuff. Oh, is them of the Orange Blossom Queen Oz? Them with Idaho potatoes and Milwaukee beer poison laying a cornerstone. And by all means, pose them with some Hollywood starlets from Malibu beach been working for years.

[Dr. Warbury]

We certainly can't complain about their spirit of cooperation. At least their apparent cooperation.

[Dick Grove]

Meaning what?

[Dr. Warbury]

Look at that. Sheep of notes.

[Dick Grove]

The size is impressive.

[Dr. Warbury]

The results are after four months of questioning. Four months of painstaking interrogation by trained sociologists. And we don't know as much about Fatal Girls 9. As we do about the social structure of Atlantis.

[Dick Grove]

What's the matter, Wanda, Tom still talk your ears off?

[Dr. Warbury]

It comes out like a good political speech. Where everything sounds wonderful and packed with importance. Then you'll find out there hasn't been a perfect thing said. Look here. Listen to this recording you made. Andy was asked if his government was a democracy. This is what he said.

[Andy]

A democracy. Democracy is a rule of the people, according to your rich etymology. We could not in our lowly tongue have expressed it so succinctly and movingly. One must govern himself, of course. The degree of governmental control on the individual must vary from individual to individual. And in the individual from time to time.

[Dr. Warbury]

That should be enough to give you an idea what we're up against.

[Dick Grove]

Can't sense a word that can make a fortune. What about the technical department? Mind you, mine's in Vinzi and Lopez. They're still hunting the power source in that spaceship, aren't they?

[Dr. Warbury]

And not doing much better than I am.

[Dick Grove]

Maybe Andy and Andy don't think we're old enough to play with matches.

[Dr. Warbury]

If that's true, why should they give us free run of their ship?

[Dick Grove]

And again, on the other hand, why should they give us such pleasant and courteous answers adding up to nothing?

[Dr. Warbury]

They are such complex and artistically minded creatures, chock full of poetic sentiment and good manners, it's impossible to get mathematical or verbal sense out of their trope.

[Dick Grove]

That spaceship should be some kind of clue to their civilization. Looks like one of those delicate jade carvings that took a lifetime to accomplish.

[Dr. Warbury]

It goes with their highly polished manners. Basically, it's reminiscent of civilizations that have developed to the point of decay here on Earth.

[Dick Grove]

Well, at least we're perfect at clear about what we want to know from them. And it still leaves the big question for veterans. What do they want from us? I know.

[Dr. Warbury]

And if we can't learn anything about them, we're going to be in a sad bargaining position when we do find out what they want.

[Dick Grove]

I'd say we'll be like the Indians who paddled out in their canoes to meet the first white man. Just about that Nai. There were more immediate things to worry about. A debate was going on in the UN General assembly where America was being accused of importing extraterrestrial helps to conquer the world. Every other country was clamoring for Andy and Andy. They finally had to turn them over for a grand tour of the whole planet. It was the same thing abroad. They were all things to all people. In Russia, they delivered a ringing speech on the scientific validity of communism. In Bern, they lauded Switzerland as the mother of democracy and praised the capitalist system. And so it went. But the big shocker came when they got back to the States. They were hardly off the boat before Gibney grabbed them for Celebrity Salon, his evening TV show.

[Omentor]

Now, the most distinguished guest ever to appear on this far shattered art are charming visitors from outer space and be endangered.

[Dr. Warbury]

All right.

[Omentor]

And now, as you grow. Andy.

[Dick Grove]

Andy.

[Omentor]

I suppose you'll act as spokesman.

[Andy]

That is the lowly task assigned to me.

[Omentor]

Okay, then, we've got some questions I'm sure all the folks at home would like to ask you if they have the chance.

[Andy]

We're pleased, of course, to make ourselves as well known to your delightful, delightful countrymen as they would care to have us.

[Omentor]

Thank you very much for your very clear answer, Andy. We'd like to know if you are just a little anxious to get home to the Wife and children?

[Andy]

That is a very reasonable question. I am sure. But it's necessary to understand that we do not have a division of the sexual such as you know on this planet.

[Omentor]

Well, well, at least you don't have to worry about your mother in law.

[Dick Grove]

But.

[Omentor]

But Andy, what ties do you have with your home planet?

[Andy]

Chiefly with the revitalizer, I should say.

[Dick Grove]

Revitalizer? What's a revitalizer?

[Andy]

A machine. We must expose ourselves to it. Every decade or so there is at least one revitalizer in each of our major cities.

[Dick Grove]

And.

[Omentor]

And what does it do?

[Andy]

Very simply, the revitalizers generate cytoplasm in all animal cells and refreshes them.

[Omentor]

They pause every decade that refreshes. So what have you as a result?

[Andy]

You might say we have no fear of any degenerative disease. And by exposing ourselves to revitalizers at regular intervals, we can people our life expectancy. That is to say, we live five lifetimes instead of the one which could properly be our lot.

[Omentor]

Please, please be quiet and we'll continue the interview.

[Dick Grove]

Newspaper extras in 22 languages. Radio and TV news flashes every 15 minutes. Lights burning late at night. Over at the UN headquarters, Andy and Dandy were requested to make a special appearance before the General assembly the following day. And they accepted graciously. As usual. President Sadhu conducted the interview in the assembly before the representatives of all nations. We have asked our industrial assistance from states to discuss the matter of revitalizing. Is there some reason, sir, why you have not brought up the matter before now?

[Andy]

To be perfectly truthful. Truthful? It has not occurred to us since the revitalizers are an everyday matter to to us we could not be aware that you would attach unusual significance. Significance?

[Dick Grove]

Excuse me, but no matter, not now. The important thing is that we must have revitalizer to rid ourselves of all disease and increase the span of life.

[Andy]

Unfortunately. Unfortunately, our race does not manufacture these machines for export.

[Dick Grove]

But you must now understand, sir, that they are a fighting interest to us.

[Andy]

Undoubtedly you richly deserve these life giving mechanisms. But I can only repeat that none are available.

[Dick Grove]

What would your people want? We will pay almost any price within the power of this entire planet.

[Andy]

I am stunned by the magnitude of your offer, but can think of nothing which would persuade our people to supply another planet.

[Dick Grove]

Surely there must be something. Things which we on earth have to offer.

[Andy]

Excuse me, if I may consult with my companion for a moment. We are embarrassed to think that our sluggish minds can conceive of nothing at the moment which would make an exchange Possible. However, we are agreed that it would be advisable to consider further before closing the matter entirely.

[Dick Grove]

You two agree to that?

[Andy]

It is the least we can do in return for the many kindnesses you have shown us during our visit.

[Dick Grove]

Then please, sir, please do your very best to think of something. We must have those machines. President true of the United nations personally escorted Andy and Dandy back to their ship, which now sat in a restricted area in Central Park. Then the world chewed its fingernails for six days while the two snail men sat inside, presumably in solemn contemplation of the matter. On the seventh day they emerged immediately. Thus before a special session of the General Assembly. Distinguished sir, you have reached some conclusion in this matter.

[Andy]

It has finally occurred to my companion and me that a way may be open to an exchange.

[Dick Grove]

You have only to name it.

[Andy]

Let me explain that our own planet is woefully in short supply where radioactive elements are concerned. Barren worlds containing radium, uranium and thorium have been discovered and claimed by other races. Our own folk at Fatal Gaze 9 are forbidden by our ethics to wage aggressive warfare. Warfare for territorial aggrandizement. And we are therefore open to any peaceful means of obtaining elements.

[Dick Grove]

We have great amounts of radioactive oil.

[Andy]

We had also gained that impression using.

[Dick Grove]

It chiefly for manufacturing weapons and for biological results.

[Andy]

The military aspects are patently undesirable. And the revitalizers of course would make unnecessary a biological research.

[Dick Grove]

Therefore, if the contact appears a good.

[Andy]

One to you, we will agree to supply this planet with all of the revitalizers it requires in exchange for your radioactive.

[Dick Grove]

Or all of it. Overnight, the United nations became the central office of a planet wide mining processes. A couple of generals here and there, a few Nick's nuclear physicists managed to raise fingers of warning before being pushed aside. Who really wanted war anyway? And as for subatomic research, how far could we not go if a man had five lifetimes instead of one? To develop a series of experiments? Andy and Dandy decided for home to fulfill their end of the conflict. And for two years the world paid attention to nothing but the stripping of a pit blend deposit. Andy and Dandy returned in cargo ships that seemed to cover the sky. Revitalizers were erected by busy snail like robots of every large city on earth. Busier robots attacked the huge piles of fish can with weird looking machines. This time Andy and Dandy left for good, taking their radioactive treasure with them. Leaving behind a huge patient crowd waiting their turn at the revitalizer. Perhaps for the first time in our planet crisis, there was universal hope and good cheer.

[Professor]

When we have our attendant to revitalizer Dick. I have some cold feet.

[Dick Grove]

I'd like to get rid of Dick and Aid. You'd come first, Santa. A young girl like you'll be way down the line.

[Professor]

You realize that even at your present age you'll be a youngster.

[Dick Grove]

And I'm 40.

[Professor]

It still gives you four and a half ordinary lifetimes to go. Isn't it wonderful to think about?

[Dick Grove]

Yeah. Think how far a man could go in just one career if he devoted his entire 300 years to it.

[Professor]

Tell me, what will you do with those extra lives of yours?

[Dick Grove]

I've been thinking about all the books. I'll have time to read all the books. I'll have time to write and married some time. Somehow I never found time for it. With another 250 years to go. Really? I'm not making any offers yet. First let's see if these revitalizers really work. Six months after Andy and Dandy departed into the skies, the revitalizers quit. Dead.

[Dr. Warbury]

Stopped working.

[Andy]

Are you sure, Professor Trophy?

[Dr. Warbury]

Ask any doctor. Look at your death rate.

[Omentor]

But why?

[Dick Grove]

Did we do something wrong?

[Dr. Warbury]

We did something wrong all right.

[Andy]

We trusted the boys from Betelgeuse.

[Professor]

They've done us wrong.

[Dr. Warbury]

We made the same mistake all peoples made when they met a superior civilization. Meinzer and Lopez have taken apart one of the revitalizer motor units. There was just a trace of it left. But this time they found the power source. My boy, the revitalizers run on the fuel of completely pure radioactive elements.

[Dick Grove]

That's not believable.

[Professor]

Surely a race like that would have developed a power that was more economical.

[Dr. Warbury]

They never bothered. And they wanted our uranium to fuel their own revitalization.

[Dick Grove]

You're saying it effects that everything they did here on Earth was carefully planned to swindle us. Professor, they could have conquered us with our superior science.

[Dr. Warbury]

They couldn't have conquered us. They wouldn't have tried. Not to go for of their ethics. But because they haven't the energy or the concentration. They're a decadent and dying race. Andy and Dandy are probably among the few remaining who have enough get up and go to even trick back with people.

[Dick Grove]

And me. Me, the guy who did the most palazzo public relations job of all time. I was a number one sucker.

[Dr. Warbury]

Think of me, the sociologist. I'm supposed to recognize the symptoms. And they were all there. The lack of interest in their own culture. The involved methods of thought and expression. The exaggerated etiquette. Even their face shift. If we had a tenth of their scientific knowledge. What substitutes we wouldn't have developed by now. You understand what hicks we are?

[Dick Grove]

We've been sold to Brooklyn Bridge by some dressed up sharpies from Beetlejuice.

[Dr. Warbury]

By a pair of sweet, deep heirs of what was once a great race.

[Professor]

With our atomic power stolen, will we ever have space travel?

[Dick Grove]

Oh, gone down the drain for a mess of pipe.

[Dr. Warbury]

I'm not so sure, Dick.

[Dick Grove]

Now we get to the moon on methane and alcohol. You call that space travel?

[Dr. Warbury]

I'm thinking in terms of a starship, same as you travel the distant galaxies. Yes, by George. Even the betel gerd. Those simpering snails never thought we'd get off this planet. But we will. And when we do, bet your life we'll collect some toes on that Brooklyn Bridge they sold us.

[Professor]

But how, professor, how?

[Dr. Warbury]

I don't know yet. The peace of physicists been splitting the atom from the very first experiment. Mark my words, we'll have space travel and two fatal gerd.

[Dick Grove]

Oh, I suppose some good will come from this affair. The nations of the world showed we could all work together.

[Dr. Warbury]

Yes, it's possible the world government will come out of that effort. Still, it's hard to forgive a swindle.

[Professor]

Professor, is it generally known that the revitalizers have stopped?

[Dr. Warbury]

No, it's not.

[Professor]

Well, what's going to happen when the people find out? Won't there be a bad reaction?

[Dr. Warbury]

Ah, now we get down to the purpose of my visit.

[Dick Grove]

Dick, you mean this wasn't just a friendly call?

[Dr. Warbury]

No, I've been sent by the government, Dick. They're acutely aware of the reaction when the people learn the truth about the revitalizers. And you have been appointed to do a public relations job to prepare our good citizens for the shock.

[Dick Grove]

All right, I'll do it in one condition. That if and when you ever go to Betelgo, I go with you.

[Omentor]

That's it. Betelgar's Bridge by William Penn. Thanks to Galaxy, that wonderful science fiction magazine. Now understand next week another extraordinary tale of tomorrow out of Galaxy Science Fiction magazine called the Other now by Murray Leinster, about a fellow whose wife faithfully continued making written entries in her diary after she had died in a car accident. This is your host, Omentor, saying, until next week, take your time before someone else does.

[Dick Grove]

Tales of Tomorrow. Holden's right. Play Will Long Quartz as Dick, John Gibson as Andy, John Stanley as Churchman and Raymond Edward Johnson as your host. Music was composed and conducted by Bobby Christian. Script adaptation by Don Whitty produced by ABC in association with George Soley and directed by Clark Andrews. This is Dorian St. George speaking.