The Amos n Andy Show 1954-01-03- Andys New Years Date

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: The Amos n Andy Show 1954-01-03 – "Andy's New Year's Date"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Date: December 29, 2025
Original Air Date: January 3, 1954

---

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode follows Andy Brown’s comedic quest to secure a date with the high-society Consuella Finnington for New Year’s Eve and the misadventures that ensue when Kingfish tries to profit by renting out his ancient tuxedo—leading to double-bookings, heartbreak, and a farcical Foreign Legion ruse. The episode encapsulates themes of friendship, hustle, and the classic spirit of the New Year, all delivered with the Amos n Andy trademark blend of wit and slapstick.

---

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene: New Year’s Plans (& Problems)

• Kingfish and his wife Sapphire lament their quiet New Year’s plans due to Kingfish’s lack of money, contrasting with Andy’s excitement about his big date.
  • [02:30] Sapphire: "New Year's Eve ain't gonna mean nothing around here... We never go no place, never have no one over, nothing."
• Andy is proud to have landed a date with Consuella, "one of the wealthiest gals in the neighborhood." Sapphire and her mother joke about the low standards required to win Andy's affections.

2. The Tuxedo Hustle

• Kingfish seizes an opportunity: he plans to rent his moth-eaten tuxedo to Andy for $25.
  • [04:24] Kingfish (to Sapphire): "I've been pulling the wool over Andy's eyes for years. Shouldn't be too hard pulling a little unfinished Worcestershire over his shoulders."
• Andy is wary of the suit's poor condition but is persuaded
  • [05:55] Kingfish: "Fashion dictates that an Englishman must look like he is going one way and a suit going the other way."
• Kingfish also double-books the tux, renting it to Mr. Harrison for another $25, counting on the timing to get it back for Andy.

3. Tuxedo Trouble: Double-Booking Disaster

• Kingfish’s plan falls apart when Mr. Harrison keeps the tuxedo for an unplanned nightclub outing, leaving Andy suitless for his big date.
  • [11:37] Mr. Harrison: "I had such a good time at the wedding, I called the post office and... we're going on to a nightclub."
  • [12:55] Kingfish (panicking): "It's New Year's Eve and they will never be able to rent another tuxedo. Andy's looking forward to going out with that society gal. He gonna kill me."

4. Kingfish's Tall Tales: New Year’s Dangers

• Kingfish tries to dissuade Andy from going out by inventing dangerous New Year's Eve statistics.
  • [13:12] Kingfish: "Insurance companies... discovered that on New Year's Eve that is the most dangerous night of the year... one out of every four... meet with a bad accident."

5. The Foreign Legion Ruse

• Facing Consuella’s wrath, Kingfish invents a scheme to win her sympathy for Andy: claim Andy has joined the French Foreign Legion out of heartbreak.
  • [21:04] Kingfish (to Calhoun): "Make Consuella think that Andy done joined the French Foreign Legion and is going to fight the Arabs."
• They stage a dramatic meeting where Andy feigns imminent departure to the Sahara Desert.
  • [23:09] Kingfish: "Look here, he's done picked up the language fast, didn't he, Consuela?"
  • [24:27] Kingfish: "The only way that you can save your life is to commit suicide."
  • [24:39] Consuella: "I forgive you... but it's too late now. You have to go and join that old Legion."

6. Reconciliation and a Final Swindle

• Kingfish claims he can get Andy out of the Legion with a "chache la femme amendment"—in France, "the only thing that takes priority over fighting is smooching."
• Andy and Consuella make up, but Andy is broke for the dinner date.
  • [26:13] Andy: "I promised Consuella that [I'd] take her to dinner in a nightclub, and all I got is five bucks."
• Kingfish offers Andy a $25 check in exchange for Andy’s last $5, so he can buy candy for Sapphire and her mother.
  • [27:11] Kingfish (aside): "But I tell you one more thing. There's gonna be a lot more weeping and crying when they get out of the bank, find out that check I give them ain't no good."

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Tuxedo Quality
  • Kingfish [05:55]: "Fashion dictates that an Englishman must look like he is going one way and a suit going the other way."
• Kingfish’s New Year’s 'Statistics'
  • Kingfish [13:12]: "They are thinking of opening all night mortuaries for that night... one of the other four people gonna meet with a bad accident."
• Kingfish’s Outlandish Ruse
  • Kingfish [24:06]: "The fact is that they’re so sure of you getting knocked off, they send you into battle with a coffin strapped on your back."
  • Andy [24:15]: "Oh, that Foreign Legion is the toughest outfit in the world. If you live long enough to get a discharge, they shoot you as a coward."
• Kingfish's True New Year’s Spirit... Sort of
  • Kingfish [26:38]: "If you want to do a good deed, why don't you help Andy out... Well, I don't have no cash on me. All my money's in the bank... I could give you a check..."
  • Kingfish (to himself) [27:47]: "There's gonna be a lot more weeping and crying when they get out of the bank, find out that check I give them ain't no good."

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:30] – Family laments over New Year’s plans and Andy’s date revealed
• [04:07] – Kingfish’s plan to rent out his tuxedo
• [05:15] – Andy arrives to rent the suit
• [08:34] – Mr. Harrison rents the same tuxedo
• [11:37] – Suit is not returned on time, Kingfish faces crisis
• [13:12] – Kingfish concocts the “unsafe New Year’s Eve” story
• [16:01] – Andy’s date ruined, confrontation ensues
• [21:04] – French Foreign Legion plan hatched
• [23:09] – French Foreign Legion charade staged for Consuella
• [25:38] – Andy and Consuella reconcile
• [26:13] – Final exchange of check and cash

---

Tone & Style

The episode maintains a breezy, irreverent tone, dominated by Kingfish’s fast-talking schemes, Andy’s affable gullibility, and comedic misunderstandings. The banter features quick-witted jokes and classic vaudevillian exaggeration.

---

Summary Takeaway

"Andy's New Year's Date" showcases Amos n Andy’s signature mixture of slapstick and sly satire. Whether through Kingfish’s tuxedo scam, the wild Foreign Legion ploy, or the phony New Year’s change of heart, the episode celebrates the persistence of friendship—and hustling—even amidst broken resolutions. Despite promises of turning over a new leaf, some things, like Kingfish’s scams, never truly change.

---

Transcript

[Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Kingfish]

Annie, you know what that music says?

[Andy Brown]

Yes, sir. Amos. That music say good health to all. From Rexall, the stores with the orange and blue sign. Yes, 10,000 independent Rexall druggists at the stores with the orange and blue sign. Bring you the Amos and Andy show. Written Joe Connelly and Bob Moer. Featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Roy Glenn, Tommy Moore, Jeff Alexander's music. Yours truly, Harlow Wilcox. And starring radio's all time favorites, Freeman Gon and Charles Corel.

[Kingfish]

Amos and Andy. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Freeman gosden. Now that 1954 is just beginning, it occurred to me how much a person.

[Andy Brown]

Could save in one year by going to a Rexall drugstore every time for the household and drug and beauty needs every family needs. And taking advantage of all the Rexall bargains and everything they offer, I can.

[Kingfish]

Tell you from my own experience that.

[Andy Brown]

It pays and pays to shop and save at a Rexall family drugstore. Well, today is Sunday, but let's go back a few days to the day before New Year's. All of Amos and Andy's friends were talking about their plans for celebrating New Year's Eve. With the exception of Mr. And Mrs. George Stevens. Because of the Kingfish's financial position, they're looking forward to spending a quiet evening at home. This hasn't set too well with the Kingfish's wife, Sapphire and her mother.

[Sapphire]

Well, George, it's just like it always is. New Year's Eve ain't going to mean nothing around here. Yes, right, daughter. We never goes no place, never has no one over nothing.

[Kingfish]

Now, what is you talking about, Mama? Last year on New Year's Eve, we done had open house for the crowd.

[Sapphire]

Son of open house, that was. Yeah. 25 cent jar of olives and a pint of cooking sherry for 85 people. Yes, and George, you have the nerve to come in at 8 o' clock ringing a great big bell and yet. And. Come and get it. Come and get it, huh? They couldn't even find it.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I Tried to keep the festive spirit going. At the stroke of midnight, I spelled out Happy New Year with olive pips.

[Sapphire]

Even Andy Brown is going out. He's got a new gal and he's taking her to the big dipaistis New Year's Eve party. Oh, yes, Sapphire. The gal's name is Consuella Finnington. She's one of the wealthiest gals in the neighborhood. Well, gives me confidence. If a big boob like Andy can get a gal like that, I ought to be able to get a man.

[Kingfish]

Now listen, Mama, are you looking for romances your age? That's like going back to the well after the bottom done fell out of the bucket.

[Sapphire]

Can you imagine Andy going to a big society party like that? It's formal. He'll have to rent evening clothes and everything.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, he will, won't he? You're gonna have to see. I just thinking here I got my old tuxedo up in the trunk in the attic. Maybe I could rent that to the Boy George.

[Sapphire]

That suit must be 20 years old. It's got moth holes in it and everything.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, but if I think of the right angle, I wouldn't have no trouble. After all, I've been pulling the wool over and his eyes for years. Shouldn't be too hard pulling a little unfinished Worcestershire over his shoulders.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I think maybe I'll get into lodge all here and see the Kingfish. He's always got an angle. What is this? Look at the sign I got on the door here. Dress suits for rent. Formal wear for weddings, christenings, wakes, funerals and other happy occasions. Debuming and coon up our specialty. Hey, this is something. I'm looking for a place to run a dress suit. I better get in here. Hi, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Hi there, brother Anda.

[Andy Brown]

Say, tell me, Kingfish, is you really in the clothes renting business?

[Kingfish]

Oh, yes. And I rent suits to all the society playboy. Jeff Ping Pong, Morgan Cornmeal, Jeff Vanderbilt and Bobo Rockefeller. All them fellas. Yeah.

[Andy Brown]

Well, that sounds like a good business. I need a dress suit. You think you got one here to fit me? I takes a snug.48.

[Kingfish]

Well, this tuxedo I got left, you ain't exactly a snug.48, but it's the same thing.

[Andy Brown]

It is, huh?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, sort of a sloppy 32. Feel the material there, Andy. Or as the finest English worsted.

[Andy Brown]

Wait a minute, Kingfish. Look at this suit. It's all wrinkled and baggy looking.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, like I say, Andy, the suit was made in England and being styled over there on the old side. Why, the Englishman's suit must have the proper droop and bagginess. In other words, fashion dictates that an Englishman must look like he is going one way and a suit going the other way.

[Andy Brown]

Well, this must be an English suit all right. I see they done over racing one of the elbows here.

[Kingfish]

I tell you Andy, why don't you step in the back there and slip it on. Just take you a second. Slip it on there.

[Andy Brown]

Well, okay, I'll be.

[Kingfish]

Hurry up now, hurry up there Dodio do. Well, I certainly hopes that the big dummy falls with us. I hope when he's trying it on he don't notice the condition of the lap hill. Goldie.

[Andy Brown]

O well, here I is.

[Kingfish]

Excuse me sir, may I help you? Oh, oh, it's you Andy.

[Andy Brown]

Well of course it's me.

[Kingfish]

How you like that? For a minute there I think you was the Duke of Windsor coming in from the back room there. Amazing what that suit do for you son. I almost cussed it to you there. I didn't know who you was.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well I want to look good in it cause this gal I was taking is real high class.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Oh well don't worry about that honey. She gonna remark about the English drape and she gonna remark about the formal fit.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well I hope she don't remark about these mild dude lapels.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute, I can explain to you about them green lapels.

[Andy Brown]

You can, huh?

[Kingfish]

Yeah. You see, the last fellow that rented the thing was an Englishman at the coronation. Well, he started toasting to the queen with cream. To men highballs, therefore six of them. I got a little sloppy there and he, well he kind of greened up the lapels there a little bit. Started drooling on us there.

[Andy Brown]

Well I don't know king face, I don't think this is the right suit.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute and listen. I tell you what I'll do. I'll send the thing to the cleaners and have the man reverse the lapels for you. Look just like a brand new suit soon as when he twists around.

[Andy Brown]

Well, okay, tell me this, you deliver. I'm going out about 8 o'. Clock.

[Kingfish]

Oh yeah? Yeah, after the thing is clean and pressed, I'll have it up here by 7 o' clock ready for you.

[Andy Brown]

Okay. How much is you charging?

[Kingfish]

Me charging? Now that's what I'm going to cut it down to. Gonna cut it down to 25 for the night.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I'll take it. But ain't that awful high?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, and. But don't forget this is an English suit. And when it comes to smooching, that gal would no more think of saying no to you than she would have defined the whole British fleet. You know that. Well, cleaner didn't do a bad job on the suit. Got it back here at 1:30. Yeah, and he gonna like come in.

[Andy Brown]

How do you do? My name's Harrison. I saw your sign on the door and I'd like to rent a tuxedo.

[Kingfish]

Oh, a tuxedo.

[Andy Brown]

Uh huh.

[Kingfish]

Uh oh, I forgot to take the sign down. Yeah, well I. Sorry muscle. I did have one tuxedo left that was for rent but I cleaned out now.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that's a shame. You see, I'm going to a wedding this afternoon. It's New Year's Eve and every other place seems to be sold out too.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, one of those afternoon wedding parties that go on all night, huh?

[Andy Brown]

Well no, you see, I work at the post office and I have to leave the party very early.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well sorry. How early would you have leave there to sing that?

[Andy Brown]

Well, I go to work at 6. I'd have to leave by 5 at the latest.

[Kingfish]

Just one more question, mister. Would you pay $25 for the thing?

[Andy Brown]

Well, I'm desperate. I guess I'd have to.

[Kingfish]

Fine, you done got yourself a tuxedo suit. Now you just be sure and get it back here by six o'.

[Andy Brown]

Clock. Well don't worry about that. If I'm late at the post office I'd lose my job. Why are you so worried about it?

[Kingfish]

Well, it's sort of a Cinderella story, mister. I'll spare you the details, but if it ain't back this evening, somebody is going to turn my head into a pumpkin. That's what's going to happen.

[Andy Brown]

Good evening. This is your exall family druggist. One of the 10,000 independent druggists who have made the word Rexall part of our own store names. We've done that because we recommend and sell Rexall drug products. The famous guaranteed Rexall products such as Nasothrycin. Nasothrycin is the antibiotic nose drop formula that provides such effective two way relief from nasal congestion. Not only do Nasothrisin nose drops open up a stuffy nose, but in addition the antibiotic action of nasothrisin inhibits many bacteria. So for both relief and protection in cases of nasal congestion, I recommend Nasothrycin nose drops. That's spelled N A S O T H R I C I N Rexall Nasothrison comes complete with dropper at Rexall drugstores everywhere.

[Kingfish]

Well, a quarter to six ought to be back with a suit any minute. Yeah, I got my hot iron here ready to hit it sooner you come in here with us. Yeah, well, Andy won't know. Hello, George. Kingsley Stevens began.

[Andy Brown]

This is Mr. Harrison.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, Ms. Harrison. I better. Better hurry right up on over here before you lose your job at the post office.

[Andy Brown]

Well, don't worry about that. I had such a good time at the wedding, I called the post office and they said I could take the night off. We're going on to a nightclub.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. Well, wait a minute. What about my suit, though?

[Andy Brown]

Oh, don't worry. I'll pay you whatever extra it is. Good night and Happy New Year.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, happy. I'll wait a minute. Hello. Hello. Oh, me? Oh, what is I going to do? It's New Year's Eve and they will never be able to run another tuxedo. And you're looking forward to going out with that society gal. He gonna kill me. I better get out of town. That's what I gonna do. I think this is one New Year's Eve that I better celebrate from the other side of the river. Yeah, I think I'll go down and.

[Andy Brown]

Hiya, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Well, oh, well, hello there, brother. Yeah, yeah, that's you. Yeah. What are you doing over here?

[Andy Brown]

Well, I thought I'd pick up the tuxedo. You got the thing here.

[Kingfish]

Well, I.

[Andy Brown]

Hey, Kingfish, what's the matter with you?

[Kingfish]

Nothing, Andy. No, no, no, no, nothing at all.

[Andy Brown]

Well, then how come your eyeballs is rolling around in their sockets like that? It looks like an earthquake in a ball bearing factory.

[Kingfish]

Well, I'll tell you the truth. And it's fear that makes me look this way. Yeah, I've been sitting here worrying and worrying about you, my boy. Tell me this is you still planning to go out tonight, New Year's Eve, this terrible night?

[Andy Brown]

Of course I is. What's wrong with New Year's Eve?

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I go tell you something. I just found out that the insurance companies has done made out a survey and they have discovered that on New Year's Eve that is the most dangerous night of the year. Matter of fact, to handle the the trade, they are thinking of opening all night mortuary for that night over. Yeah. Now, they found out that on New Year's Eve just that one night of the year. The night that you planned on going out.

[Andy Brown]

You see?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, one out of every four. Now, one out of four. Get that in your head.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

One of the other four people Gonna meet with a bad accident.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, how come you just worrying about me?

[Kingfish]

Let's take four people at Ransom. Yeah, go ahead. I ain't going out. Sapphire ain't going out. Her mama ain't going out. Now that leaves you.

[Sapphire]

And.

[Kingfish]

And I can't help. I just can't let you wind up as a big fat statistic on an insurance table. I just can't.

[Andy Brown]

Now wait a minute here, Kingfish. I ain't going no place dangerous. I'm just going to a party.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, all kind of accidents could happen at a New Year's Eve party, you know. Oh, yeah, you could lose your voice singing Aul Lang Syne, strangling yourself on a confetti streamer, Woofing mouth disease from drinking champagne out of a slipper.

[Andy Brown]

Listen, King Face, I don't care how dangerous it is. Now, Consuela is expecting me to pick her up right now. And I don't care nothing about all these accidents. She's a honey baby doll. And the only thing that's going to be dangerous tonight is me.

[Kingfish]

Well, I don't guess there no sense in prolonging the agony here. And I. I tell you what, I. I might as well let you know. And well, brother, end of the. The tuxedo ain't here.

[Andy Brown]

What you mean it ain't here? I paid you $25 and everything. I can't get in the party without no tuxedo.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, wait a minute. And ain't no use getting mad. Now, I go tell you exactly what happened. You see, I rented the suit to someone else and they were supposed to bring it back, but they didn't bring it back. Now that's the whole thing.

[Andy Brown]

Don't get mad with me now. Well, that's a fine thing. If you rented it to me, why did you rent it to somebody else?

[Kingfish]

Well, now, that's my privilege, Andy. What do you mean under the rotating tuxedo law? Well, I can tell you, the law reads. The law says that I is allowed to rent a suit to three people in one day, providing I allows a two hour lapse between customers for what is known in the trade as the.

[Andy Brown]

V and F. The V and F?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, ventilating and fumigating.

[Andy Brown]

Listen, Kingfish, I'm gonna tell you something. The only ventilating going on around here is gonna be a hole in your head.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute. Don't get mad with me.

[Andy Brown]

Now, listen, I got that gal up there waiting and if I stands her up on New Year's Eve, she ain't never gonna speak to me again. Now, my chances to Enoch you laid up with all that money will go right smack out the window.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, look here. Now, wait a minute. Now, we think of something here. You don't have to be blunt about it with her, Andy. Call her up and kind of saw soap her for a while on the telephone with a little love talk. And then just at the right second break the news to agenda that you can't get.

[Andy Brown]

There, you see? Yeah. Well, I don't know what else to do. But this better work, Kingfish. Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Oh, it's gonna work. Now, don't forget now. Use the flattery and then break it to her gently.

[Andy Brown]

That's.

[Kingfish]

That's the idea.

[Andy Brown]

The whole thing. Yeah.

[Sapphire]

Hello?

[Andy Brown]

Hello, this is Andy, Honey.

[Sapphire]

Andy Brown. Where are you? I've been waiting here and you was 15 minutes late.

[Andy Brown]

Well, honey, I just want to tell you that you is the sweetest, most beautiful gal in the world and the whole thing is off at night.

[Sapphire]

But, Andy, I'm all dressed and waiting.

[Andy Brown]

I just can't help it. I just can't take you, Andy Brown.

[Sapphire]

I'm never going to speak to you again in life. I'm just not going to. You're a horrible man.

[Andy Brown]

Well, now, I want. Hello? Hello? Hello. Oh, me kingfish when I kingfish. Hey, how you like that? He done snuck out while I was talking. Wait till I get a hold of him. I'm going to ring out the old year and ring in the new with that boy's neck. Now here's Harlow Wilcox with a word for everyone who takes vitamins. A word about one of the best balanced vitamin formulas known. Thank you, Mr. Exal, druggist and friends. The word to remember is plenumens. If you want more vitamin value for your money. If you want a properly balanced formula that gives you vitamins aplenty, ask for plenumens. REXALL Plentymans provide 10 vitamins plus three important extras, iron, liver concentrate and vitamin B12. In fact, plenimons give you more than your minimum daily requirement of all vitamins with known minimums. So you see, when you take plenumens, you get vitamins aplenty. Yet these guaranteed Rexall multivitamins cost only pennies a day. So friends don't just say vitamins. Say Plenimans. P, L, E, N A, M I, N S. At Rexall drugstores everywhere the stores with the orange and blue sign.

[Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits, plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required. If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted partner makes all the difference. That's why hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering. With on time restocks, your team will have the cut resistant gloves they need at the start of their shift. And you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Kingfish]

Well, that is the problem. Calhoun and this gal busted up with him for standing up on New Year's Eve. And now Andy over looking for me with a two by four in his hand. The boy gonna give you one of them naughty pine haircuts, hu? Tell me this, what was I gonna do though? If there was just some way that I could get Andy and the gal back together, maybe he'd forgive me. That ain't gonna be easy if he stood up on New Year's Eve. But wait a minute, Chair. If this gal went for Andy, she couldn't be very bright, could she? Well, when it comes to gals, intelligence is one of the last requirements on Andy's list, I would say. Well, I was just thinking. Yeah.

[Sapphire]

The thing to do is play on.

[Kingfish]

This gal's sympathy, make her think that he done done something desperate and then she'll forgive him. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. Now what is the most desperate thing a man could do though to make her feel sorry for him? Let's see.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

How about joining the French Foreign Legion? Calhoun? That's it. Make Consuella think that Andy done joined the French Foreign Legion and is going to fight the Arabs.

[Sapphire]

Yeah, man.

[Kingfish]

I got an old large hall uniform. Yeah, that order pay us for the French Foreign Legion uniform? Yeah, got them gold epitaphs on the shoulder there, you know. Yeah, yeah, I'll have the gal come over to the lodge Hall. Calhoun, this is a great idea.

[Sapphire]

Oh man. Yeah. Now, now if you'll excuse me Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

I. I do to have dinner with my cousin Murgatroyd. You mean Murgatroyd, that crazy bebop hipster? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a. He's a character already. Yeah, he's staying with me over at my apartment.

[Sapphire]

And last night he woke me up.

[Kingfish]

And he said, calhoun, I thirsty.

[Sapphire]

I real thirsty, and I gotta have.

[Kingfish]

A glass of water.

[Sapphire]

So I got up and I give.

[Kingfish]

Him a big tumbler full of water. Oh, Murgatroyd drank the water, but after he drunk it, he done sat there and ate up the glass. He ate the glass? Yeah. And I said, murgatroyd, I know you were thirsty, but why did you do that? And he said, man, I was hungry, too. Yes, that's what's done happened, Consuella. Andy Brown has done joined the French Foreign Legion and is going to fight the Arabs in the Sahara Desert.

[Sapphire]

Andy joined a foreign Legion? I can't believe it.

[Kingfish]

Yes, the boy was desperate when you turned him down in that cruel and heartless manner that you used.

[Sapphire]

Oh, but that's terrible, him doing something like that.

[Kingfish]

Yes, he joined up this morning. It looks real dashing in his uniform. I say. Oh, I tell you. Hmm. That must be Andy. That's the French Foreign Legion's secret knock. Entre l', enfe', natre, monsieur. Well, well, if it ain't end him we.

[Andy Brown]

Bonsoir and Sace bum.

[Kingfish]

Look here, he's done picked up the language fast, didn't he? Consuela. Oh.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, Consuella, I didn't know you was here. I just come over to say off witter snitchel to my old pal.

[Sapphire]

Hi, Andy. Are you really going overseas?

[Andy Brown]

Oh, yeah. Consuella, our ships out tonight for Sarah's Desert.

[Kingfish]

It's a touching sight when the Legion leaves the boat pulling out into the harbor and all the friends and relatives standing on the deck singing the official French song, Le Mia Where.

[Andy Brown]

And if you want to, Consuela, you can come down to the ferry slip and blubber into the backwash.

[Sapphire]

Oh, Andy, it sounds like I'll never see you again.

[Andy Brown]

That's right, Consuela. Nobody that joins the Legion ever comes back. Ain't that right, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. The fact is that they're so sure of you getting knocked off, they send you into battle with a coffin strapped on your back.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that Foreign Legion is the toughest outfit in the world. If you live long enough to get a discharge, they shoot you as a coward.

[Kingfish]

The only way that you can save your life is to commit suicide.

[Andy Brown]

This is very sad, Consuela, but it had to happen because you broke my poor heart.

[Sapphire]

But, Andy, I was just upset when you stood me up. I had no Idea it would go this way, Father. Randy, I forgive you. I really d. But it's too late now. You have to go on and join that old Legion.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, I, I does I, King face.

[Kingfish]

Well, then, long as you go kiss and make up here, I think I might be able to call up the local branch of the Legion and get you off on the chache la femme amendment with the French. The only thing that takes priority over fighting is smooching. Well, this is swell, Andy. You and Consuella is all made up and everything, huh?

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, Amos and the Kingfish here done it for me, too.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, boys, I, I may have finished the old year wrong, but at the. Well, at least I started the new one off right. Boys, I feel that I done turned over a new leaf. Yeah. You really feels this way, do you, Kingfish? Oh, yeah, it does, boys. From here on I go try to help my fellow man instead of taking advantage of him. You know, I got the spirit of the New Year in my heart.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah. Well, Kingfish, I could use a little help right now.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. What is the matter, Andy?

[Andy Brown]

Well, I promised Consella that take her to dinner in a nightclub, and all I got is five bucks.

[Kingfish]

All you got is five bucks, huh?

[Andy Brown]

Yeah. That's all.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Well, wait a minute, sir. I was just thinking here, Kingfish. If you want to do a good deed, why don't you help Andy out with enough money to take his gal out tonight? Well, I don't have no cash on me. That's the trouble. All my money's in the bank. And of course, I couldn't give you a check on it.

[Andy Brown]

I guess you could, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Andy, that's what I gonna do, too. I, I gonna sit right down here and write you the check for $25.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, yeah, that's swell, Kingfish. That's wonderful.

[Kingfish]

The only thing is, all I got in the bank is $25, and I. I didn't want to bring my wife Sapphire and her mama home a little box of candy or something, you know, for New Year.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, yeah.

[Kingfish]

Well, I was just thinking here, Andy. Long as the Kingfish is giving you $25, why don't you just give him the $5 in cash so he can get some candy for the family? Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Andy Brown]

That's right. I'd be glad to do that. Sure.

[Kingfish]

Okay.

[Andy Brown]

Here you is, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Well, thank you, son. Here's the check. And you know, I think this is wonderful, you boys helping each other like this. It's the real spirit of the new year.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, it sure is, Amos.

[Kingfish]

Well, seeing something like this kind of choked me up a little bit. Well, boys, I kind of choked up too. And on account of after all these years, I finally see the light.

[Andy Brown]

Why?

[Kingfish]

Well, it happens on New Year's too. I wonder if you boys could just leave me alone here in the office. I just want to sit down here by myself for a while.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, sure, Kingfish. We understand. So long, old pal.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, so long, Kingfish. You done a wonderful thing.

[Andy Brown]

Hmm.

[Kingfish]

You both had a tear in the eye. But I tell you one more thing. There's gonna be a lot more weeping and crying when they get out of the bank. Find out that check I give them ain't no good.

[Andy Brown]

I know. One fourth of America's homemakers now have jobs outside the home. And here is one of them.

[Sapphire]

We busy women are welcoming the trend towards sensible time saving cosmetics like Ann Delafield's All Purpose Deep Cream. Here in one handy golden top jar is a single face cream that does everything, cleanses, lubricates, softens and smooths. Ann Delafield's All Purpose Deep Cream is all creams in one. You need no other face cream of any kind. And Ann Delafield's other cosmetics are time savers too. Ann Delafield's face powder, for example, has a built in foundation. And Delafield's lipstick is non smudging, long lasting in clear true colors that never fade. All of Anne Delphiel's cosmetic products are as practical as they are luxurious. So if you're one of the women who has to make time count, try the sensible modern Angela Field line of cosmetics. Remember, these luxurious beauty preparations are sold exclusively at Rexall Drugstores.

[Kingfish]

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, rely on your Rexall family druggists. And when you visit him, please tell him that Amos Nandis asked you to come.

[Andy Brown]

Thank you and good night. See you next Sunday.

[Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits, credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required. If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted partner makes all the difference. That's why hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering with on time restocks. Your team will have the cut resistant gloves they need at the start of their shift and you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-granger click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.