The Amos 'n' Andy Show - Andy Inherits Six Thousand Dollars

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: The Amos 'n' Andy Show – "Andy Inherits Six Thousand Dollars"
Date: March 28, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Featured Show: Amos 'n' Andy

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Episode Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio presents a classic installment of "The Amos 'n' Andy Show," titled "Andy Inherits Six Thousand Dollars." Rooted in the golden age of radio comedy, the episode is a showcase of humorous misunderstandings, workplace rivalry, and the ever-entertaining conflicts between Kingfish, his mother-in-law, and the extended cast of beloved characters. The main thrust of this show is not an inheritance, but rather a comedic battle of wits (and lack thereof) centered around IQ tests and job-seeking at a department store, leading to a chaotic but hilarious turn of events.

Note: Despite the episode title referencing an inheritance, the storyline strongly revolves around workplace antics and job rivalries rather than an inheritance itself, which may be a mislabel or referencing a subplot off-mic.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Progression

1. The IQ Test Challenge

Timestamp: 03:05 – 05:22

• The episode opens with a family IQ test, sparking a rivalry between Kingfish and his mother-in-law.
• Kingfish is continually outdone by his mother-in-law, who proves to be more knowledgeable.
• Memorable exchange:
  • Kingfish: “Who were Tristan and Isolde? Oh, that's a snap. Tristan, he batted leadoff and Isolde was cleanup for the St. Louis Cardinals, 1928.” (04:00)
  • Mother-in-law: “You big dummy. Tristan and Isolde were two characters in one of Wagner's greatest operas.” (04:05)
• The banter leads to a bet over who can land a job first.

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2. A Race for Employment

Timestamp: 05:22 – 10:26

• To prove themselves, both Kingfish and his mother-in-law apply for jobs at Thompson Department Store, each required to take an aptitude test.
• Comedic confusion and Kingfish’s misunderstanding of "aptitude" dominate the exchange:
  • Kingfish: “Is that where they take the blood out your ear?” (07:09)
• Secretly, Kingfish switches the names on the test papers to try to outsmart his mother-in-law.
  • Kingfish (to himself): “Last time I took an IQ test, I ended up by owing them 15 points.” (09:25)

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3. Job Results and the Tables Turned

Timestamp: 12:55 – 15:13

• Kingfish and his mother-in-law each receive letters with their test results and job offers:
• The comedic high point:
  • Kingfish is offered a messenger job (74th place).
  • Mother-in-law, under Kingfish’s name, is offered an executive position—head of delivery (100th mark).
  • Kingfish: “As the salmon said when the fisherman put the gaff in him, I’m not only up the creek, but I furnish my own transportation.” (15:13)
• Mother-in-law becomes Kingfish’s boss, resulting in an onslaught of humiliations for Kingfish.

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4. Kingfish’s Predicament: Working Under His Mother-in-law

Timestamp: 15:33 – 17:37

• Kingfish’s attempts to curry favor and avoid work are met with no sympathy.
  • Mother-in-law: “In the future, if you got any bleeding to do, you do it on your own time.” (16:29)
  • Kingfish: “Yes, Mama, I’ll bleed on my own time.” (16:35)
• Kingfish laments his fate:
  • Kingfish: “The only peace and quiet I had in the week was last Thursday night she tried to eat a four decker sandwich and her jaws locked on her for two hours.” (16:54)

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5. Plotting to Get the Boss Fired

Timestamp: 17:38 – 26:16

• Kingfish, with Andy and Jack Calhoun, plot to get his mother-in-law fired by telling lies about her to the store manager, Mr. Monahan.
• They spin a melodramatic tale that paints her as a child-neglecting, horse-racing fiend:
  • Kingfish: “Known to the police of four continents as Ruthless Ramona, the child deserter.” (23:46)
  • Andy: "On payday, she goes right from the cashier's window to the racetrack.” (24:34)
• Their scheme works; the mother-in-law is promptly dismissed.
• Mr. Monahan: “She'll receive her notice first thing tomorrow morning.” (25:01)

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6. Karmic Twist: A New Boss Emerges

Timestamp: 27:19 – 29:12

• Satisfied with himself, Kingfish is unconcerned about future payback.
• Another aptitude test is announced for the now-vacant head position. Kingfish expects to win.
• The twist—Sapphire Stevens (Kingfish’s wife) is named the new boss!
  • Mr. Monahan: “I'd like you to meet your new boss man, Mrs. Sapphire Stevens.” (28:56)
• Mother-in-law (groaning): “Oh no!” (28:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On intelligence:
  • Sapphire (about Kingfish): “According to the number you got wrong, you ain't even been born yet.” (04:49)
• On defeat:
  • Kingfish: “The only thing I hopes is that you get the new boss that’s four times worse than your mother-in-law. That’ll teach you a lesson.” (27:10)
• On fate:
  • Kingfish: “That's like the worm feeling sorry cause the early bird didn't get his eight hours sleep.” (27:37)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [03:05] – The IQ Test Challenge / Rivalry ignites
• [07:46] – The Aptitude Test at the Department Store
• [09:25] – Kingfish Swaps Test Papers
• [13:14] – Job Results Revealed
• [14:32] – Executive vs Messenger Jobs
• [16:29] – Workplace Humiliation
• [17:38] – The Plot to Get Mother-in-law Fired Begins
• [23:46] – The “Ruthless Ramona” Story
• [25:59] – Mother-in-law Gets Fired
• [28:56] – Sapphire Named New Boss

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Tone and Language

The show is packed with quick banter, wordplay, and light-hearted insults typical of radio comedies of the era. The humor is broad and farcical, relying on misunderstandings, physical comedy (described), and exaggerated situations.

Example—the self-deprecating tone:

• Kingfish: “Last time I took an IQ test, I ended up by owing them 15 points.” (09:25)

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Conclusion

This Amos ‘n’ Andy episode is a classic display of workplace rivalry gone haywire, built on deception, pride, and the ever-present chaos that follows Kingfish. The episode's punchline sees the universe deliver its own justice: after conniving to oust his mother-in-law, Kingfish finds himself working for his own wife. As always, the episode’s intricate plotting and rapid-fire dialogue provide laugh-out-loud moments and insight into the quirks of the human condition.

Memorable, mischievous, and a slice of golden radio comedy history.

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Transcript

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[Charles Correll]

Amos, what is that you got there in your hand?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, that's a tag I took off of the world's greatest TV set.

[Charles Correll]

How you know that's the world's greatest TV set?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, see right there on the tag? Engineered by CBS Columbia.

[Charles Correll]

Yep, that's the greatest.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh yeah.

[Announcer/Narrator]

CBS Columbia, makers of America's most advanced radio and television receivers, present transcribe the Amos and Andy show, written by Joe Connolly and Bob Mosher, featuring Johnny Lee, Ernestine Wade, Amanda Randolph, Will Wright, Roy Glenn Senior, Vince Townsend, Lud Gluskin's music, yours truly, Harlow Wilcox. And starring radio's all time favorites, Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll. Amos and Andy.

[Charles Correll]

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[Announcer/Narrator]

Well, one of the greatest American pastimes is taking the IQ tests that you find in the back of your daily newspaper Right now Safire is asking the questions from today's paper. And her mother and the kingfish are matching wits.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

All right, next question. Who invented the steamboat?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

The steamboat? That's easy. Eli Whitney.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Robert Fulton.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Mama's right, George.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Eli Whitney invented the machine for taking the cotton out of the gin. Or was it to get the gin out to cotton? Which was it?

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Next question. Who were Tristan and Isolde?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, that's a snap. Oh, I know that one. Tristan, he batted leadoff and Isolde was cleanup man for the St. Louis Cardinals, 1928.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

You big dummy. Tristan and Isolde were two characters in one of Wagner's greatest operas.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Well, that's the last of the questions. Now I'll total up your scores. Let's see. Well, Mama, you only got three wrong.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, you big dummy.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Well, Mama, according to what it says here, that score says you're an adult of above average intelligence.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Never mind, you old walrus. How did I come out? Is I an adult above the average intelligence?

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Well, George, according to the number you got wrong, you ain't even been born yet.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

No wonder he ain't never got a job. His brain is still in diapers.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Now listen, Mama, Sapphire must have been slipping you the answers. Cause you ain't never impressed me as being no Phi Beta Kipper. You know, that IQ of yours, you'd have to study to be a pinhead. I know.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

I tell you one thing. If I went out looking for a job, I wouldn't have no trouble.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, what you talking about? I'll bet you that I could get a job faster than you could any day in the week.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Oh, I could get a job quicker than you could.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I could get one a lot quicker than you could.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Well, why don't you settle it?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What do you mean?

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Well, tomorrow morning Mama will go out and look for a job.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

And then, George, you can go out and look for a job.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, that's. That's like the marinated heron said. I was all right till I opened my big mouth. Yes, Andy, that's why I come down here to the Lodge hall to look for a job.

[Charles Correll]

A job? Holy mackerel, Kingfish. You mean after all these years you was selling out to the enemy?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, then I was forced into it. I said. I told him. I said I could get a job before my mother in law. And if I don't, I'll be disgraced for life.

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't want her to get the upper hand, I guess. That old gal is about the meanest thing this side of the Iron Curtain.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, I got the classified ad section here. I done checked a few jobs. Here's something here. Look here. Help wanted, male and female. Thompson Department Store. New branch opening this week. Situations open in all categories applied. Employment office. Room 508 for aptitude test. Many executive positions still open. Andy, this is it.

[Charles Correll]

Yes, that's over on 134th Street. I know that place. That's a nice looking store. The other day when it was raining, I went in there and tried on shoes for a couple of hours.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, tell you what I'd do. I'll go over to Thompson's, Andy, and I'll show my mama in law who can get a job faster. They say here that you gotta take an aptitude test, Andy. What's that? Is that where to take the blood out your ear?

[Charles Correll]

No, no, no. That's to find out your iq. I took one of them during the war down to draft board.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

How'd you make out?

[Charles Correll]

Not so good. The man said if I was a horse, they'd have to destroy me.

[Test Administrator]

All right, pick up your papers on my desk here for the aptitude test. There you are. Here now. Here's yours. You have a full hour.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Excuse me, sir, Can I have one of them, please?

[Mr. Monahan]

Sure.

[Test Administrator]

Here you are. You have a full hour. Take a seat. Any one of those deaths.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, thank you, sir. Y'. All.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Hello, George.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Mama, what you doing down here?

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Well, I seen the end of paper and I'm taking the aptitude test too. And I bet you my brains will come out on top.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Your brains? Yes. I see better brains than yours laying on a piece of melba toast.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

We'll see about that.

[Test Administrator]

All right, everybody, start the test. You have exactly one hour. All right, time is up. Time is up. Turn your papers into room 5:15. All papers to 5:15. You'll be notified of the results of the test by mail.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Holy mackerel. I just finished the thing in time. Oh, me, I wonder how I did.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Well, how'd you do, George?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, oh, fine, Mama, fine. It was a snap. I went through it faster than Einstein going through Guppy's reader.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Well, George, I have some shopping to do. I wonder if you'd turn my paper in with yours at room 515.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the thing. Well, see you later, Mama.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Okay.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

5:15 is down the hall here. Well, look like Mama done pretty good job here on her paper. She's old Walrus, but she's a pretty bright old walrus. Yeah, if she did better than me, I'd never live it down. I wonder, I wonder. I gonna do it. There's no one in the hall here. I'll scratch it with mama's name. Put my name on her paper and I'll put her name on my paper here. Yeah. There ain't no sense of taking any chances. Last time I took an IQ I ended up by owing him 15 points. I ain't gonna.

[Charles Correll]

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[Announcer/Narrator]

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[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, I better get in the apartment here. It was two days ago that I switched them test papers with mama. I should be hearing from the department store now. Let me get in here.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Is that you, George?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, honey, that's me.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Me and mama been waiting for you.

[Announcer/Narrator]

Yeah.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Look, George, these two letters came today from the Thompson department store. One for you and one for mama. And we've been waiting for you to come home. Open yours first, George.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Hey, be only too happy to. Yeah. Glad to hear you got one too, huh, mama?

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Yeah, let's see how you made out, baldy.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, mama, I got an idea. In just a second here, you is going to be smirking from the other of your upper plate. Let me get this letter open here. Now, let's see. See here. Dear sir, listen to this. This is to inform you that as a result of your aptitude test in which you scored a mark of 74, placing you 45th in our list of applicants, you have been given the job in our delivery department as a messenger. Kindly report Monday. Ha ha. Messenger. See there? There's brains for you. I got a job. Well, mom and Lord dear, open your letter.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Yes. Hurry up, mama.

[Jack Calhoun]

Yeah.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I hope it won't be too much of a shock for you. I can see it now. Dear madam, it is our unpleasant duty to inform you that there's no place in our organization for lunkheads.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Now I charge you.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Stop that.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Mama. What does your letter say?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, what is it? Wait.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Let's see now. Here. Dear Mrs. Smith, this is to inform you that as a result of your aptitude test in which you scored a mark of 100, placing you number one in our list of applicants, we find you qualified for an executive position. We are assigning you to our delivery room where you will have full charge of all our messengers.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, no. As the salmon said when the fisherman put the gaff in him, I'm not only up the creek, but I furnish my own transportation.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

Hello, delivery room. Mrs. Smith speaking. Oh, yes, sir. I'll put one of our messengers on it right away. Thank you. Come in.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Excuse me, mom and Lord dear, but I have to deliver this big package down at 72nd Street. I come for carfair. Must I taxi it or must I bus it?

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

It's only 62 blocks. You're heel and toy. Fast to me, Platter George.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Here you will, Mama.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

And you better get a move on down at the store, too.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, Mama.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

And where was you this afternoon when I was looking for you?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, I Sorry, Mama, but one of them big cases fell on my foot and I went up to the infirmary to get him to stop the bleeding.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

How dare you. In the future, if you got any bleeding to do, you do it on your own time.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, Mama, I bleed on my own time. Oh, Andy is terrible. Yeah, she. She drives me around the store like a dog all day and then I guess it again at night.

[Charles Correll]

Boy, that was certainly a nasty boomerang there. Getting a job and having your mom in law as your boss.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, I tell you, Andy is terrible. Mama in law blasting at me all the time. The only peace and quiet I had in the week was last Thursday night she tried to eat a four decker sandwich and her jaws locked on her for two hours.

[Charles Correll]

Well, listen, Kingfish, why don't you just up and quit the job?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, I can and I can't give in to my mom in law. I can't admit defeat. I gonna fight. And I'll never be able to live with that woman as long as I live. I gotta fight this out.

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, that's right. If there was only some way that you could get the best of her.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, if I could only think of. Think.

[Charles Correll]

Come in.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, Algonquin. Jack Calhoun. How is you, boy?

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, what is you doing over here, Calhoun?

[Jack Calhoun]

No, I just come from the City hall. I. I had to go out of town last week. And while I was gone, I asked my best friend to see that my gal didn't get lonely. I even loaned him my tuxedo.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, you did, huh?

[Jack Calhoun]

Yeah, he brung the suit back this morning and guess what I found in the pocket.

[Charles Correll]

Uh, what, Calhoun?

[Jack Calhoun]

Two tickets from the Tunnel of Love, a dance program, two stubs from the second balcony of the Bijou, and a traffic ticket for night parking on Observatory Hill.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, and you've been down to court.

[Jack Calhoun]

Yeah, I ain't gonna let no friend of mine get stuck with no ticket.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, we all got our troubles, Calhoun.

[Jack Calhoun]

Yeah, well, what's the matter with you, Kingfish? Look at that face of yours. Last time I seen anything that sad looking was in a bowl of clam chowder.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I don't know why I mess myself up. You see, me and my mother in law applied for a job and I switched aptitude tests, I switched the papers and she ended up by being my boss. I really loved Fox myself this time.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah, that old lady Is making a nervous wreck out of the Kingfish.

[Jack Calhoun]

Well, if that's the case, the thing to do is get the old lady fired.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Fired? Yeah. Well, how do we do that? How I gonna get the woman fired?

[Jack Calhoun]

Well, now, wait a minute. Let me tell you what to do. Why don't you go to the bars and make up some story about her being an undesirable employee.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, Andy. Yeah, that's an idea he got there. This is Sunday. Tell you what we could do. We could go to the man who owns the department store, Mr. Monahan, that we could go right to his home.

[Freeman Gosden]

Yeah.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Tell him that the old lady is. Just tell him that she no good. Yeah, yeah, we'll make up something. We'll do it. Yeah, it's our only chance.

[Jack Calhoun]

Yeah, Well, I. I gotta leave now, boys. See, I'm. I'm having lunch with my cousin Murgatroyd.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Murgatroyd, the bebop hipster. Yeah. What are you doing lately?

[Jack Calhoun]

Well, he got a job last week playing trumpet in the circus band. And the other night the band was playing the act for the lions and right in the middle of the performance, one of them lions got loose and jumped in the orchestra. And just like that, he done add up the second trombone player and the piccolo player.

[Charles Correll]

Holy smokes, what did Morgatoy do?

[Jack Calhoun]

He nudged the tuba player next to him and said, man, where is that patrilla when we needs him?

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[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, Andy, here's Mr. Monahan's host.

[Mr. Monahan]

Now.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

You remember everything we're going to tell Mr. Monahan does.

[Charles Correll]

I remember what we're going to tell Mr. Monahan?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Who's Mr. Monahan, you big dummy? He is mama's boss at the department store. Yeah, we gonna get a fired, you see.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I. Right now. Yeah. Knock on the door.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I sure hope he falls for this thing. It's my only chance, you see.

[Mr. Monahan]

Yes? Yes, what is it?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Excuse me, sir. You Mr. Monahan, owner of the Thompson Depot, mister, ain't you?

[Mr. Monahan]

Yes, I am.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, I as loyal employee Stevens, you probably hear the boys down in the store refer to me as Old Faithful Dog Stevens, the company man.

[Mr. Monahan]

No, I haven't heard of you. But what do you want?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, Ms. Monahan, I come here with important information that I feel you should know.

[Mr. Monahan]

What is this information?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, Ms. Monahan, this is Mr. Brown right here. I think we better step inside. Cause what we going to brood about is rather confidential. And I'd rather do my brooding behind closed doors, you see.

[Mr. Monahan]

Very well. Come in, come in.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Air for you.

[Charles Correll]

Andy. Yeah.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Take off your hat.

[Mr. Monahan]

Now, what is this about?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Mr. Monahan, it is my painful duty to inform you that you has a monster in your employees.

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, and besides that, she's a nasty old lady.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Her name is Ramona Smith.

[Mr. Monahan]

You mean Ramona Smith from the delivery room?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes. Known in your employment records by that name. But known to the police of four continents as Ruthless Ramona, the child deserter.

[Mr. Monahan]

What? Child deserter?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, sir. Yasser, while she labors in your store, this heartless woman has left 12 children at home, ages 2 to 9, without no parenthetical care. This man right here is here to confirm it. That here's her husband right here. This fella.

[Mr. Monahan]

Her husband?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

That's right. This poor unfortunate that. That she cast aside like a dried out banana peel.

[Charles Correll]

That's me, all right. That's me.

[Mr. Monahan]

Well, now, wait a minute here. Wait a minute. You mean to say that while she's working she's neglecting her children? Why, she makes a good salary at the store.

[Charles Correll]

Listen, mister, me and the kids never sees a dime of it. On payday she goes right from the cashier's window to the racetrack.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, it's a sad thing, mister. Sad thing?

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah. Last week she put the food money on a three horse parlay. Me and the kids listened to the race on the radio. Oh, I tell you, mister, it broke their little hearts when their New England boiled dinner pulled a tendon in the stretch.

[Mr. Monahan]

Why, this is terrible. Betting the food money on horses.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, well, that ain't the half of it. The kids are starting school tomorrow and they ain't got no clothes.

[Charles Correll]

No.

[Mr. Monahan]

No clothes?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

No, sir. Unless the old lady comes up with a winner today at Bay Meadows, them kids is gonna have to barefoot it the PS32 and the BVD. Is that.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah. Missy, this is terrible. Just.

[Mr. Monahan]

But wait a minute here. Wait a minute. You're the father. Why don't you do something for these poor neglected children? You're a man. Why don't you do something?

[Charles Correll]

Well, you see, I, I, I. Yeah, Kingfish, why don't I?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, don't forget, Ms. Brown, you was a sick man. You practically left a dying beard to stag over here.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. I as sick as a dog, mister.

[Mr. Monahan]

Well, this is certainly a sorry state of affairs. A woman neglecting her family. I won't have this woman disgrace my department store. She'll receive her notice first thing tomorrow morning.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, good.

[Mr. Monahan]

You've done a great service to the company, Stevens. And I won't forget this.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, I done it out of loyalty. Like I say, loyal Stevens. They called me the old faithful dog.

[Mr. Monahan]

Why, that woman ought to be behind bars.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank you very much and good day, sir.

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, good day. Good day.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, Andy. I didn't think we could do it, Andy, but we done pull it off. I got my mom in law fired. It was great work. What's the matter with you, Andy?

[Charles Correll]

Well, I was just thinking if I as sick as I supposed to be, I better go home and lay down for a while.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, no. Well, nice. You boys back to my apartment. A little tired.

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, I guess you had a big day at the store with your mom in law getting fired.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Kingfish, this is the dirtiest trick you ever done. Getting your poor mom in law fired. She must be heartbroken, Emma. She don't even know what hit her. They fired her this morning. She tried to see Ms. Monahan, but they throwed her right out the store.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, yeah. I guess this will convince her that men's is more smarter than women.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, King, face the Only thing I hopes is that you get the new boss that's four times worse than your mother in law. That'll teach you a lesson.

[Charles Correll]

Oh, take it easy Amos.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Ain't no chance of that happening Amos. They giving another one of them aptitude tests to pick a new boss. They put ad in the paper and it's open to all the employees of the store. Everybody else?

[Charles Correll]

Yeah, and you got a hundred in the last one. With your experience and everything you'll probably get a higher mark than it's even possible to get.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

King fish, don't you feel a little sorry for your mother in law? Don't be silly Amos. That's like the worm feeling sorry cause the early bird didn't get his eight hours sleep. Well, what's going on here fellas? What's going on here? They just posted the results of the aptitude test for the head of the delivery room. Well let me see here. Look at there first, Stevens. Well how you like that? Well you certainly must have a good mouth. Oh yeah, I uh. Oh, here comes Mr. Monahan.

[Mr. Monahan]

All right, quiet everybody. Quiet, quiet please. I guess by now you've all seen the results of the aptitude test for the new head of our delivery room.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh yes sir. Yeah, we see the thing.

[Mr. Monahan]

Yeah, it was unfortunate we had to get rid of Mrs. Smith, but I think this time we really have the right person for the job.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I agree with you there.

[Mr. Monahan]

Yes sir. The results of this test show that this person has intelligence, resourcefulness and outstanding leadership ability.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes sir, I'm forced to agree with you again there.

[Mr. Monahan]

And now gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the new head of the delivery room. The one who got the highest mark in our aptitude test that was open to everyone. Come in please. I want you to meet your new boss man, Mrs. Sapphire Stevens.

[The Kingfish's Mother-in-Law (Andy)]

How do you do? Everybody.

[Sapphire Stevens (Mama)]

Oh no.

[Freeman Gosden]

Well folks, we'd like to say good night for our sponsor, CBS Columbia, manufacturers of America's most advanced radio and television receivers.

[Charles Correll]

That's right folks. These sets are engineered by CBS Columbia.

[Freeman Gosden]

We're inviting all of you to go in and see the brand new CBS Columbia sets for 1955. And when you do so, would you be kind enough to tell the dealer that Amos and Andy sent you. Thank you and good night.

[Charles Correll]

See you next Sunday.

[Announcer/Narrator]

Be sure to be with us at the same time next Sunday for the Amos and Andy Show. Transcribed and directed by Cliff Howell. Tonight's program was brought to you by CBS Columbia, manufacturers of full fidelity television receivers. Now stay tuned for Armies Brooks which follows immediately over most of these same.

[Freeman Gosden]

This is the CBS Radio Network.

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