The Big Show 50-12-03 ep05 Fred Allen Phil Silvers

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - The Big Show 50-12-03 ep05 Fred Allen Phil Silvers

Title: The Big Show 50-12-03 ep05 Fred Allen Phil Silvers
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: July 19, 2025

---

Introduction and Host Interactions

Timestamp: [00:00] – [06:06]

The episode kicks off with a vibrant introduction by Tallulah Bankhead, setting the stage for an evening filled with legendary personalities from the Golden Age of Radio. Tallulah enthusiastically welcomes stars like Fred Allen, Phil Silvers, Joan Davis, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Mindy Carson, and a special guest, Ms. Margaret Truman, daughter of President Harry Truman.

Tallulah humorously discusses the backstage excitement of featuring Margaret Truman, navigating interactions with fellow performers. She juggles playful banter with Mindy Carson, who exudes confidence about meeting a prominent guest:
"Well, not me. I'm not nervous." — Mindy Carson [02:02]
"You'll cover up any mistakes I make?" — Tallulah Bankhead [02:27]

Their playful exchanges highlight the camaraderie and light-hearted tension among the cast as they prepare for the guest's arrival.

Musical Performance

Timestamp: [07:21] – [10:28]

Meredith Wilson and the Sons of the Pioneers take center stage with a lively performance of Meredith's new song, "This Is It." The ensemble delivers a spirited rendition that captivates the audience:
"When I was very young I once got struck by lightning." — Sons of the Pioneers [08:15]

Tallulah praises the performance, commenting on its success and setting the tone for the dynamic nature of the show:
"Love. Well, Meredith, that applause should tell you what a hit you've written." — Tallulah Bankhead [10:28]

Featured Film Segment: "State Secret"

Timestamp: [12:02] – [24:38]

A dramatic interlude features a segment from the new film "State Secret," starring Douglas Fairbanks Jr. as Ambassador Fred Allen and Phil Silvers as Dr. John Marlowe. The narrative unfolds with Dr. Marlowe receiving the prestigious Kepler gold medal in Bosnia and subsequently performing a critical surgery on Generalissimo Neva.

Tense moments arise when Dr. Marlowe realizes his patient is the dictator himself: "This man is Generalissimo Na, the dictator of Bosnia." — Phil Silvers as Dr. Marlowe [18:47]

The plot thickens as Colonel Galcon, representing the prime minister, confronts Dr. Marlowe about the operation. The segment concludes with a showdown where Dr. Marlowe outsmarts Colonel Galcon, ensuring the general's facade remains unbroken:
"You have, of course, our humblest apologies for the unfortunate slogging." — Phil Silvers as Dr. Marlowe [22:48]

Main Show Continuation and Guest Introduction

Timestamp: [24:38] – [87:52]

Margaret Truman's Appearance:
Tallulah introduces Margaret Truman, who engages in charming yet humorous dialogue with the hosts and fellow cast members. Her interactions are marked by witty repartee and playful exchanges, exemplifying the show's entertaining dynamic.

Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Phil Silvers:
Douglas Fairbanks Jr. delivers a comedic monologue portraying his character Blinky, a perennial sidekick in various fictional Hollywood films. His elaborate storytelling and character impersonations add depth and humor:
"I'm always the same part. My Name is always Blinky." — Douglas Fairbanks Jr. [73:12]

Phil Silvers, as Dr. Marlowe, participates in discussions proposing new radio show ideas alongside Meredith Wilson and Tallulah Bankhead. The trio brainstorms a variety show concept featuring Margaret Truman as the mistress of ceremonies, interspersed with humorous attempts to integrate sponsors and handle ad-libbing mishaps.

Interactive Comedy and Skits:
The cast engages in a series of comedic skits and improvisations, including attempts to create a "Boing Quartet" and humorous interactions with fictional ambassadors and dignitaries. Tallulah skillfully navigates the chaos, ensuring the show remains entertaining:
"This is murder, isn't it?" — Margaret Truman [67:05]

Humorous Commercial Bypasses:
Throughout the segment, commercials are creatively woven into the narrative without disrupting the flow, maintaining the listener's engagement through seamless transitions and character-driven humor.

Notable Quotes and Moments:

• Mindy Carson on Meeting a Celebrity:
  "But out in Hollywood I see celebrities all the time." — Mindy Carson [02:44]

• Phil Silvers on the Operating Room Drama:
  "I want to see the patient's face." — Phil Silvers as Dr. Marlowe [18:45]

• Douglas Fairbanks Jr.'s Blinky Monologue:
  "The pictures are as usual, designed to please the masses." — Douglas Fairbanks Jr. [77:44]

• Tallulah Bankhead's Quick Wit:
  "Can you smoke them?" — Tallulah Bankhead [46:51]

Finale and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: [87:52] – [89:07]

As the show nears its conclusion, Tallulah Bankhead orchestrates a final medley of well-wishes and humorous farewells from the cast:
"May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again." — Sons of the Pioneers & Cast Members [88:36]

Margaret Truman playfully interacts with the hosts, wrapping up her segment with light-hearted banter:
"Good night, darlings." — Tallulah Bankhead [89:04]

The episode ends with promises of future episodes featuring other big names, leaving the audience eagerly anticipating the next show.

---

Conclusion

The Big Show 50-12-03 ep05 masterfully blends humor, musical performances, dramatic film segments, and engaging guest interactions to recreate the charm of the Golden Age of Radio. Tallulah Bankhead's charismatic hosting, combined with the talents of Fred Allen, Phil Silvers, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., and special guest Margaret Truman, offers a nostalgic yet fresh listening experience. The episode stands out for its seamless integration of comedy and drama, ensuring a captivating hour and a half of classic radio entertainment.

Notable Quote Summary:

• "Well, not me. I'm not nervous." — Mindy Carson [02:02]
• "This man is Generalissimo Na, the dictator of Bosnia." — Phil Silvers as Dr. Marlowe [18:47]
• "I'm always the same part. My Name is always Blinky." — Douglas Fairbanks Jr. [73:12]
• "May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again." — Sons of the Pioneers & Cast Members [88:36]

---

This detailed summary captures the essence of the podcast episode, highlighting key interactions, performances, and humorous moments while providing an engaging overview for listeners.

Transcript

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business. For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as Fred Allen, Mindy Carson.

[Phil Silvers]

Joan Davis, Douglas Fairbanks, Phil Silvers, the.

[Joan Davis]

Sons of the pioneers, Margaret Truman, Meredith Wilson.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And my name, darlings, is Tallulah Bankhead.

[Joan Davis]

The national broadcasting comedy presents the Big show. The big show. 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world. Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Festival. And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, darlings, we've been doing the Big show now for a month of Sundays, but today, with Ms. Margaret Truman on the program, there's a special feeling of excitement backstage. And I suppose you all are wondering how we were able to get such a prominent personage as Ms. Truman to be guest on our program. Well, really, all it took was a telephone call. I called a certain party and that party called another party, who in turn called another party. Naturally, these were all democratic parties. Of course, some of the other performers who have never met Ms. Truman are a little nervous about it.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, not me. I'm not nervous.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Joan Davis. You say you're not nervous, Joan, about meeting Margaret Truman?

[Mindy Carson]

Well, why be I should. What's there to be nervous about? In fact, I'm meeting forward to looking her.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, you're in great shape, darling. In fact, you're fabulous.

[Mindy Carson]

Fabulous? Well, you're not built so hot yourself. Look, Ms. Bankhead, if you're really nervous about meeting Ms. Truman, you can just stick close to me. I'll cover up any mistakes that you might make.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You'll cover up any mistakes I make?

[Mindy Carson]

Oh, sure. I'd just be glad to. I know how it is. When you're not a celebrity and you meet a celebrity like Ms. Truman, I'm sure you're bound to get nervous. But out in Hollywood I see celebrities all the time. Yeah? Why, I live right across the street from where Guy Kibbe used to live.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

No. Yeah.

[Mindy Carson]

One of us ought to stop darkling Madrino. Yeah. You know, I know a lot of celebrities. Big names like that all around me.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Darling, you know the name I have made in the theater.

[Mindy Carson]

Yeah, and they better not let me hear them saying it.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

My dear Joan.

[Mindy Carson]

Oh, you don't have to thank me.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I don't know why I beat my head against the wall talking to you.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, maybe you're trying to get a shape you like.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Look, Joan, we happen to have Margaret Truman on our show tonight, and I'd hope to start the show off on a high plane. Now, darling, please, would you say as little as possible to Ms. Truman? Because frankly, I look upon your stupidity with the utmost disapproval.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I look upon your disapproval with the utmost of stupidity.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

How else, darling? Joan, we should all try to act our best and look our best today.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I look my best. Don't you like my gown?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, yes, dear. I always have.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I like the gown you're wearing, Tallulah.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Thank you, Joe.

[Mindy Carson]

You're pretty dressed up for a radio announcer.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now, look here, you. Oh, I beg your pardon. You're my guest.

[Mindy Carson]

You're sorry, I'm your guest?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yes. Oh, no. I mean, I'm just sorry I lost my temper. I'm glad you like my gown, Joan, but really, it's nothing. Almost. Yeah.

[Mindy Carson]

If it was any lower on top and any higher on the bottom, it'd be a belt.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And I specifically asked them to send me Joan Davis, not Betty.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, with that dress you're wearing, we practically got all About Eve.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I will have you know, my pet, that this gown cost me $750 not in including the tax.

[Mindy Carson]

Oh, they should have included a few tax, at least some pins with it. Now, look at my dress. It only cost $600.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yes, it's lovely, darling. Where's the government bond, darling?

[Mindy Carson]

Government bond?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, surely for $600, they gave you a $500 bond with that dress.

[Mindy Carson]

Tell me, dear, where is the tea that came with that bag you're wearing.

[Meredith Wilson]

Back?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

This is the finest satin.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, if you ask me, it's too shiny.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

My new satin gown is shiny. Where?

[Mindy Carson]

Where it sat in.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

If you don't mind, darling, let's drop that topic.

[Mindy Carson]

Yeah, well, it's your topic. You can drop it where you want.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, now, Joan, darling, please, let's not stand here bickering.

[Mindy Carson]

No, I didn't, Bick.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now, Ms. Truman will be here soon. Are you sure you know how to act?

[Mindy Carson]

Oh, sure. I read about it in an etiquette book. If I'm a man, I bow, and if I'm a woman, I courtesy.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Are you having difficulty making up your mind, darling?

[Mindy Carson]

No, it's not so hard. I only get my choice of two. I don't think, though, that I better bow in this dress, so I'll just courtesy. I'd show you what I mean, but I only got one good courtesy left in me, and. And I'm sort of saving that for Ms. Truman. I can get down once, but I may never get up again. I may have to do the rest. The whole show from a kneeling position.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, Joe, darling, you don't have to curtsy. Margaret Truman is just like any other normal American girl whose father is president.

[Mindy Carson]

Yep. I just can't get over it. She must be brilliant. Think of it. She's only in her 20s and already she's the daughter of the president.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, that reminds me. I must make sure Meredith Wilson has the music ready for her. Oh, Meredith, darling.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yes, Ms. Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Meredith, darling, is your orchestra all ready for the president's daughter when she gets here?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Ms. Petrello is coming here today.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I happen to be talking about Margaret Truman. And if possible, I'd like to have your orchestra on their very best behavior.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh, they will be. I had a little trouble with the cellist, but he finally took off his Landon button.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Allow him to play something. I want to make sure they're at least in tune. Have you got anything handy there, Meredith? Sure.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

I got a tune here called this Is It.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Ladies and gentlemen, here's a bright novelty tune. Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus in Meredith's latest song, this Is It.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

When I was very young I once got struck by lightning.

[Meredith Wilson]

And once I.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Fell downstairs with a barrel of beer I once shot a firecracker off in a grand piano but all that rattle and all that bang Was just so much lemon meringue Compared to what you've done to me My dear this is it this is it this is knock down drag out to consolidate this is it this is it this is one big slam bank straight I'm orthodox shop this is everything my folks gave me advice about Mamado where were you when all the lights went out? This is it stars above this is knock down drag out to gun Solid gold Yes, everything my folks gave me advice about Mama Leo, where were you when all the lights went out? This is it stars above this is knock down drag out to gun Solid this is it stars above this is knock down drag out to gun Solid gold.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Love. Well, Meredith, that applause should tell you what a hit you've written. It was wonderful, darling. And now, ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a treat because our Next guest is Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. In these days of iron curtains, brutal tyrannies, mysterious disappearances and sudden deaths, it is difficult for fiction to rival the terror and violence commonplace in the world today. It is a tribute to fine artistry in production, writing and performance that a smash new film does succeed in bringing to life on the screen a hair raising adventure that matches Today's realities. We are privileged to bring you on the big show a portion of that picture. So here is its star, Mr. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. In Columbia Pictures. Fire. New release. State secret.

[Phil Silvers]

My name is Marlowe. Dr. John Marlow. I have a reservation on a plane to Bosnia.

[Joan Davis]

Okay.

[Phil Silvers]

Thank you.

[Fred Allen]

Dr. Marlowe, could I have a word with you?

[Phil Silvers]

You know perfectly well that as a doctor I can't give interviews to the press.

[Fred Allen]

We understand you're flying over to Bosnia this morning to receive a Kepler medal and to demonstrate your new technique in operation.

[Phil Silvers]

Yes, that's right.

[Fred Allen]

What about the political angle? After all, you're an American. Your country's relations with Generalism or Nevaeh's government are, well, not exactly friendly.

[Phil Silvers]

I am an American doctor living in London. I shall continue to be an American all the way. But first, I am a doctor and totally uninterested in politics. Seems to me that the Bosnian Congress of Science has made a gesture which places medicine above politics. I am just returning that gesture. That's all. Good morning, gentlemen.

[Meredith Wilson]

Attention, please.

[Phil Silvers]

Flight 505 for Bosnia landing at gate 12.

[Meredith Wilson]

All aboard, please.

[Phil Silvers]

Welcome to Bosnia, Dr. Marlowe. I am Dr. Remo, president of the Medical Institute. Oh, how do you do? And may I present Colonel Galcon, personal representative of our Prime Minister.

[Fred Allen]

General, I bring you personal greetings from Generalism O Niva. He bids you welcome and offers his sincere apologies that affairs of state make it impossible for him to welcome you himself.

[Phil Silvers]

Thank you, Colonel Galcon. Gentlemen, please convey my sincerest thanks to the Journalismo. My. My deepest appreciation for the honor which Bosnia has seen fit to pay me. You know, gentlemen, somehow I. I've got the impression that Generalissimo was here to greet me. His pictures are everywhere. It's the first thing I saw when I got off the plane.

[Fred Allen]

Indeed, yes, Dr. Mano. The people insist on it. Generalismoniwa is very close to their hearts. Shall we go to the car? I've arranged that there be no customs formalities. Our itinerary is quite heavy. But naturally we want to get to the medal presentation ceremony as quickly as possible. And now, Dr. Marlow, it is my very great privileges. Representative of our Prime Minister, Generalissimo Neva to present to you the first American ever to receive it, the Kepler gold medal. In recognition of your outstanding contribution to science.

[Phil Silvers]

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

[Fred Allen]

In developing a new surgical technique for treatment of a disease until now invariably fatal. We are also most grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge by demonstrating your technique to our leading specialist.

[Phil Silvers]

Thank you, Colonel Galcom. Also we felt you'd like to demonstrate your operative technique to our surgeons as soon as possible. Of course, gentlemen. The. The sooner the better.

[Joan Davis]

Good.

[Phil Silvers]

I've arranged for the demonstration to be at my clinic, where we have an excellent new operating theater. Oh, that'll be fine. I've had the patient move there. If you are willing, I'll order the car and escort at once. By all means.

[Fred Allen]

I hope you won't think we are rushing things, but since you insist on leaving tomorrow afternoon, I'm afraid I have.

[Phil Silvers]

No choice, Colonel Galcon. I have appointments.

[Fred Allen]

Ah, but you will go back to London with a horribly antiseptic impression of us. Can't I persuade you to join my party later on? I tour about more decadent nightclubs.

[Phil Silvers]

Well, I'd like to, but I'll need sleep tonight.

[Fred Allen]

Shameful. We are exploiting you. But as we are unlikely to meet again, I'll say goodbye.

[Phil Silvers]

Goodbye, Colonel Galcon, and thank you. The car is waiting, Dr. Marlowe. I'm ready, Dr. Revo. Oh, I. I can't very well walk out of here wearing this medal, can I? I'd look a little ostentatious. Besides, it's quite heavy. Solid gold. As is the box. Is that so? But permit me. I'll place it in its case and guard it carefully until we return from the clinic.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh, good.

[Phil Silvers]

Now, about this patient. Can you tell me something of the history? I have everything here. You can go over the records in the car. Oh, very thorough. Tell me, who is the patient? A middle aged man. The name? Where? Does it matter? This way, Dr. Marlowe. Have you finished examining the patient, Dr. Marlowe? Why, yes, I think so. Everything seems to be all right. Nothing abnormal. Yes, sir. I. I think you're going to come out fine. There, there. Don't. Don't look so frightened. We're going to make a new man of you. What's he saying? Why, he. He said thank you.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Thank you.

[Phil Silvers]

Well, you can. You can prepare him now. We'll operate as soon as I finish scrubbing up. Very good, Doctor. The surgeons have already assembled in the operating theater. Oh, we mustn't keep them waiting, eh? All right. I won't be more than a few minutes. I usually prefer a paramedian incision in these cases, gentlemen. Though I've done a few with a Cotcher's incision. Sponge, please. I said sponge. Thank you. If the others in the operating theater to see this, you doctors here in the operating room better stand back from the table, please. Very well. We'll continue. It is essential that the Trauma of the blood vessels be reduced to a minimum. By exercising great care in their handling. In view of the danger of post operative thrombosis. I've asked you gentlemen not to crowd me. Will you kindly step back? Scalp. I said scalpel. What's the matter with you people? What's wrong here?

[Meredith Wilson]

The patient.

[Joan Davis]

Pulse risen slightly.

[Phil Silvers]

Color good?

[Meredith Wilson]

Quite good, Doctor.

[Phil Silvers]

There's too much tension here. Too much fumbling. Obvious, too, that half of you standing in this operating room are not doctors at all. Take off that patient's mask.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Dr. Marlowe, I beg of you, take.

[Phil Silvers]

Off that anesthetic mask. I want to see the patient's face. But please, Doctor. Take your hand off my arm, Dr. Rebo, remove that mask. This is not the man I examined before. This man. What? This man is the man on the posters. This man is Generalissimo Na, the dictator of Bosnia. Continue the operation, Dr. Marlo. Of course. What kind of a doctor do you think I am? Scalpel. Look lively now. Clamps.

[Fred Allen]

May I congratulate you, Dr. Marlow. That was a magnificent job.

[Phil Silvers]

I hope you're satisfied, Colonel Galcon.

[Fred Allen]

If I hadn't betrayed myself by yielding to an impulse and crowding you in the operating room, you would not have noticed me. Not recognized me, not become suspicious, not discovered who your patient really was. But it is too late for that, is it? Not? Much too late.

[Phil Silvers]

I expected to be treated according to elementary, civilized standards of behavior. Obviously, I was mistaken.

[Fred Allen]

I can only beg your pardon.

[Phil Silvers]

I'm not interested. This has been a gross abuse of confidence.

[Fred Allen]

I accept full responsibility.

[Phil Silvers]

I should like a car to take me back immediately.

[Fred Allen]

Will the patient recover?

[Phil Silvers]

You had better ask General Nevaeh. His guest is. His guess is as good as mine.

[Fred Allen]

How long will it be before he is out of danger?

[Phil Silvers]

What's that got to do with us? You're going to explain this to Washington and London.

[Fred Allen]

Would you say 10 days should tell whether or not the operation was successful?

[Phil Silvers]

About that.

[Fred Allen]

Just a moment, Dr. Marlow. I don't think you can leave just yet.

[Phil Silvers]

Oh, yes, I'm leaving, Colonel Galkin. But you haven't heard the last of this, I can promise you.

[Fred Allen]

I said I don't think you can leave, Dr. Marlow.

[Phil Silvers]

If you try to.

[Fred Allen]

That's better, Doctor. Just bow to the inevitable.

[Phil Silvers]

Well, Colonel, I hear I'm to be permitted to leave at last.

[Fred Allen]

You heard correctly, Doctor. The ten days are up. The General seemingly has made a complete recovery. So here is your plane reservation.

[Phil Silvers]

Time of departure, half an hour.

[Fred Allen]

My own guards will see to it that you Are taken safely to the Kiel.

[Phil Silvers]

Thank you.

[Fred Allen]

Well, not at all, Doctor. You have, of course, our humblest apologies for the unfortunate slogging, the detention, the assorted, shall I say, abuses.

[Phil Silvers]

You might very well say, Colonel.

[Fred Allen]

But one might speculate upon what would have happened if the General had died.

[Phil Silvers]

Your little dictatorship would have fallen apart.

[Fred Allen]

Oh, no. The people would never be familiar to know that he was dead.

[Phil Silvers]

What?

[Fred Allen]

Oh, please, don't be naive. Every contingency has been taken care of. The people would not know. And one of the Generalissimo's doubles would have ruled on merrily.

[Phil Silvers]

Incredible. But I would.

[Fred Allen]

Exactly. Could we have let you return to England?

[Phil Silvers]

What do you mean?

[Fred Allen]

An unfortunate accident, shall we say on the way to the airport or in the plane itself?

[Phil Silvers]

You're not serious. You wouldn't have me murdered?

[Fred Allen]

Of course I would. What is one life against the security of a whole state? Oh, by the way, here is your medal. You forgot it.

[Phil Silvers]

Thanks. Thanks for showing me the reverse side.

[Fred Allen]

But we are only amusing ourselves within an exercise in theory. A source of chest problem, eh?

[Phil Silvers]

But why are you letting me go now? You know very well that I'll make a full report.

[Fred Allen]

We shall simply deny. Come. Very well, Andre. Wait in the car. The doctor will be down presently.

[Phil Silvers]

The doctor will go now.

[Fred Allen]

Wait the plane will keep one for the road, doctor?

[Phil Silvers]

Why not, Colonel? Your ethics are unspeakable. But your cellar is excellent.

[Fred Allen]

To your very good health. May you live long to exercise your brilliant talent for the benefit of humanity. I drink to Dr. Evo. Is there something I can do for you?

[Meredith Wilson]

He's dead.

[Fred Allen]

So the chess problem is no longer theoretical, Dr. Marlow. It is our move, I believe.

[Phil Silvers]

No, it's my move, Colonel. I give you back your medal.

[Joan Davis]

Shoot.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Shoot to kill.

[Phil Silvers]

The airport, Andre, and fast. I wouldn't want to miss that plane.

[Fred Allen]

I'm sorry, sir. The car won't start.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Douglas Fairbanks. Your usual polished performance. But you're not going to leave me on edge like this. Now, what happened to the American doctor who performed the operation in Bosnia? Did he get away?

[Phil Silvers]

That Tallulah is a state secret.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now, darling, you can tell me. I'll keep my big mouth shut.

[Phil Silvers]

But it's a. It's a surprise ending and I don't want to give it away. Why don't you go to your neighborhood movie and see it for yourself?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I can't wait that long. Look, it would cost me 75 cents to see the movie. I'll give you 75 cents. Tell me how it is.

[Phil Silvers]

Do you smoke when you go to the movies, Tallulah?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Of course, darling. Why?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, that'll be a $10 for the loges.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

All right, I'll give you a $10.

[Phil Silvers]

It'll be a long wait for the loge seats.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

All right, I'll sit in the orchestra. Did the doctor get out of Bosnia? Come on, darling. I'm burning up with curiosity.

[Phil Silvers]

No smoking in the orchestra.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Look, junior, you make a very good usher. But if you don't mind, I'd like to usher in six stalwart men who come from three southern countries.

[Joan Davis]

Really?

[Phil Silvers]

What three countries?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Texas. Ladies and gentlemen. You've seen them in all the Roy Rogers pictures. They are the boys who sit around the campfire roasting. And here they are, pretty well barbecued by now, the sons of the pioneers.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Sam.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Water.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Water.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

All day I face the.

[Fred Allen]

Barren waste without the taste of water.

[Meredith Wilson]

Water.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Water, water Cool water Clay. Water, water, water Keep moving and don't you listen to him and he's a devil his beds are burning sand with water Water Dan, can you see that.

[Fred Allen]

Big green tree where the water's running free and he's wa.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And you clear water the shadows way.

[Fred Allen]

And seem to say Tonight we pray for water cool water water and welfare.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You hear our prayer.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Water, water Cool water clear.

[Fred Allen]

Water water Keep a moving then don't you listen to him then he's a devil, not a man Then he spreads a burning.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Sand with water water Dan can we see that before?

[Fred Allen]

Green tree where the water's running free.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

And it's laid dew ear water Dan's.

[Fred Allen]

Feet are sore he's yearning for just one thing more than water Cool water.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Water like me I guess he likes to rest but there's no flesh as cold water, water, cool water.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Gentlemen, that was divine. I'd like to meet every one of you. What are your names, darling?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Texas for.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And you? Tex Ferryman. You, Tex Fisher. And go on.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Tex Curtis.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And yours, Tex Far. And finally, Tex Dos. Where do you boys hail from?

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Oklahoma.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, something tells me I might as well take this time to bring my chimes. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

[Joan Davis]

The big show. This is the National Broadcasting Company Sunday extravaganza with the most scintillating personalities in show business. This portion of the program is the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Festival of Comedy, Music, Drama and mystery, brought to you by the makers of Anison for Fast Relief from Pain of headache, Uranus and Neuralgia by your local Ford dealer, who is now displaying the new 1951 Ford, the car that's built for the years ahead By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television, and by Chesterfield, the cigarette that gives you mildness, plus no unpleasant aftertaste. The big stars on this program are Fred Allen, Mindy Carson, Joan Davis, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. Phil Silvers, the sons of the pioneers, Margaret Truman, Meredith Wilson, and the Big show orchestra and chorus. And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, darlings, I know you're all waiting for the appearance of Ms. Margaret Truman, and I'm about to present her. Do I look all right? I hope she notices this gown. I got this specially for this occasion, but all of a sudden it feels as if it's dropping off me. Of course, I had it designed that way. Well, I'm going to bring Ms. Truman on now with a fanfare of trumpets, we have a red carpet we're going to roll out, and we have a very effective ceremony with scattered rose petals.

[Margaret Truman]

Hello, Ms. Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Why, Margaret. Tr. Ms. Truman, you should have waited for a fanfare and rose petals. And we were even going to roll out a red carpet for you to stand on as part of the ceremony.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, you know I don't like to stand on ceremony.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Darling. The first line and already a joke. I am the emcee, remember? Miss Truman? But you do look divine, darling. What a beautiful gown. Really, you didn't have to go to all that trouble to have a gown made just for this occasion.

[Margaret Truman]

I didn't?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, what a coincidence. So did I. And I adore your gown.

[Margaret Truman]

Thank you, Ms. Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And?

[Margaret Truman]

And what?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And whose gown do you adore, Ms. Truman?

[Margaret Truman]

I don't know.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You don't know? Why not? I lost my place so early in the show, darling. But what I've been trying to find out is how do you like my gown? Don't you think it does something for me? I do. It's in such good taste. Not too daring. And still just the slightest suggestion. I design it myself, you know. I design the clothes for all my plays and they always cause so much comment, just as this little gown has caused. Don't you think it's sweet, Ms. Truman? I do. Don't you? Yes. So kind of you to say so many nice things about my dress, even if I do say so myself. And I think I did. Thank you, Ms. Truman.

[Margaret Truman]

You're welcome, Ms. Bankhead.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now, how are things, Ms. Truman? How's everyone at home?

[Margaret Truman]

I'm fine.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And how are the Blairs?

[Margaret Truman]

The Blairs?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, yes, darling, didn't I read somewhere that you were staying with The Blairs while they're repapering your house or something?

[Margaret Truman]

Yes, we lost our place temporarily again.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Darling, we're on page 29. Oh, your place. Oh, I see. Darling, I didn't understand. I'm sorry. Well, is there anyone at home listening to our program?

[Margaret Truman]

I guess so.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, how sweet. Well, would you like to say hello to anyone special?

[Margaret Truman]

May I?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, please do, darling. What a scoop. Go right ahead, Ms. Truman.

[Margaret Truman]

All right. Hello, Margaret.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Margaret? Who's Margaret?

[Margaret Truman]

That's me. I'd like to hear somebody on this program. Call me by my first name.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, that's so sweet, darling. And you don't have to call me Ms. Bankhead, darling. Call me by my given name, will you, darling?

[Margaret Truman]

Yes, darling.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

The child's getting all the laughs. And now, Margaret, I want you to meet some of the other members of our cast. That's Phil. Will you come here a minute? Phil Silvers.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

My goodness, that's the biggest round of applause I ever got. No wonder they call it the big Show. Of course, the applause card they hold up here is much bigger than on any other show, I feel.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

There's somebody here I want you to to meet. Ms. Truman, may I present Mr. Phil Silvers.

[Margaret Truman]

How do you do?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

How do you do? I was on a show once where they held up the applause called Upside Down. I got the biggest round of essel paw you ever heard.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Phil, this is Margaret Truman.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Glad to see you.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Hi.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

You get the G essel paw spelled backwards. Bunny.

[Joan Davis]

All right.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

ESU it's a pretty good job.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Ms. Truman, dear. Ms. Truman is the daughter of the president.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yeah, we just met. Nice kid.

[Meredith Wilson]

Hi.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Daughter of the president of NBC. Look, honey, I got a wonderful idea for a radio show. I come out and I say, hello again. This is Phil Silvis.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Phil, Ms. Truman is from Washington.

[Meredith Wilson]

Yeah.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Hey, I'm a big hit in Washington, especially in Seattle. Do you ever play any of the nightclubs in Seattle?

[Margaret Truman]

No, I never have.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

What's the bit? What's the routine? What are you going to do on this show?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Phil, Ms. Truman was kind enough to accept our invitation to sing on this program.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh, vocalist, Ms. Truman. Oh, I should have known. Say, you're not Harry James's vocalist, are you?

[Margaret Truman]

No, I never had the pleasure. Besides, I sing classical and semi classical. You know, long hair.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, how do you do with that kind of stuff?

[Margaret Truman]

Fairly well, thank you.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

You?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Not too good, huh? Listen, I happen to know all about singing. You got to sell the stuff. Let me hear you make with the pipes. How about trees?

[Margaret Truman]

Now?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yeah, just a Few bars, you know how it goes. I think that I shall never see you prom. Lovely as a tree. Whatever that means. Okay, take it. I think that I shall never see.

[Margaret Truman]

I think that I shall never see.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, you're not selling it, kid. You gotta sock it over. You gotta get it across. I'll show you. I think that I shall never see. I think that I shall never see. You're fighting me. You're fighting. Try it again. Listen. I think that I shall never see.

[Margaret Truman]

I think that I shall never see.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Maybe your way is better still.

[Meredith Wilson]

Yeah.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I think that I shall never see the day you're on this program again. Well, unless you stop bothering Miss Truman. Now, Margaret, darling, we have a happy little commercial. Now, you know what a commercial is in radio that's like the Marshall Plan. Would you mind reading it? Ed Hurley, he darling.

[Joan Davis]

Every day you hear more and more about an incredibly fast way to relieve the pains of headache, neuritis and neuralgia. It's Anacin a nacin. Now, the reason anacin is so wonderfully fast acting and effective is this. Anacin is like a doctor's prescription. That is, Anacin contains not just one but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form. Thousands of people have received envelopes containing anacin tablets from their own dentist or physician and in this way discover the intelligence incredibly fast relief anacin brings from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia. So the next time a headache strikes, take Anacin a n a c I n Anison in handy boxes of 12 and 30 economical family size bottles of 50 and 100. Ask for Anacin at any drug counter.

[Mindy Carson]

I think that I shall never see.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, Jimmy, dear, I love you in.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

The same time.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I want you to meet somebody else. Ms. Truman, this is Ms. Joan Davis.

[Margaret Truman]

How do you do?

[Mindy Carson]

Well, how do you do, your honor?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Joan, get up off the floor. Get up and say hello to Margaret Truman.

[Mindy Carson]

Can't you send her down here?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies, gentlemen. While Ms. Davis is wallowing on the floor, Meredith Wilson and the big show orchestra and chorus will bring us an unusual arrangement of a tune imported from France and being played for the first time in this country. It is entitled Les violence amuses, which means the violins amuse themselves. I have fun whatever.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Sa there's no tomorrow. So many.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, Margaret, you must admit we have a splendid office. A stern chorus on this program certainly has. Oh, before you sing your song, darling, I, I, I'd like for you to meet Mary Wilson. But right now I want you to meet. Oh, Fred, another brilliant star of the big show. Fred Allen. Ms. Truman, may I present Ms. Allen?

[Margaret Truman]

How do you do, Mr. Allen?

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, how do you do? It's certainly a pleasure. But please don't call me Mr. Allen. Call me by my given name.

[Margaret Truman]

All right.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Darling.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

This girl has the makings of a Milton bow.

[Margaret Truman]

Fred, I've been an admirer of your radio program for a long time.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, thank you. But where were you when my option came up? Back there in 1948?

[Margaret Truman]

In 1948, we were busy with an option problem ourselves.

[Meredith Wilson]

Yes, but that option was renewed for another four years. You were lucky you didn't have a quiz show running again.

[Fred Allen]

You.

[Meredith Wilson]

And by the way, Ms. Truman, I'm surprised you don't have a radio program of your own.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, I can't do anything well enough to have my own program.

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, and radio, that's no handicap. Say, if you'd like, I'd be very happy to help you. You see, I feel I owe you a great debt.

[Margaret Truman]

You owe me a great debt, Fred. How's that?

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, I made an awful lot of money betting on the last election. I. I bet on Dewey.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Just a minute. You won money betting on Dewey?

[Meredith Wilson]

I bet him to place.

[Margaret Truman]

I missed you on radio, Mr. Allen. And I think you should have a program of your own.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, now, look, Margaret, if you want to talk to somebody about having a little law passed.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, I don't have any influence at all.

[Meredith Wilson]

The senate, maybe?

[Margaret Truman]

No, Fred.

[Meredith Wilson]

The House?

[Margaret Truman]

No.

[Meredith Wilson]

Supreme Court?

[Margaret Truman]

I'm sorry.

[Meredith Wilson]

Maybe a little night court somewhere outside of Nutley, New Jersey. Pull a few wet strings over there.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, Fred, you can get a radio program without any pull.

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, that was my trouble. I had a radio program without any pull. But getting back to you, Margaret, you. You'd be really be wonderful in radio.

[Margaret Truman]

But what would I do? All I can do is. Is sing. I can't tell any jokes to make the people laugh.

[Meredith Wilson]

Don't worry about the people laughing. Look, if the joke doesn't go over, you just wear a hat that lights up ne neon millinery. You know, with a little battery inside.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, I couldn't use a battery, Fred.

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, that's right. You have no connections. I forgot. Say.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

This.

[Meredith Wilson]

That might be an idea, Margaret. Now, how about doing a big variety show? About an hour and a half program and get the biggest names in show business. While you could be the mistress of ceremonies.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Just a moment. That's my program. I don't mind standing here without any lines, but I simply refuse to stand here without a program.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, don't worry, Tallulah. I wouldn't dream of doing a program like that.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And why not, darling?

[Margaret Truman]

Well, I don't think I'm old enough.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

What?

[Margaret Truman]

I mean, I'm not experienced enough.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, look, with no experience, then, Margaret, you ought to be in television. Tell me, this is a haven for people who have no sets. You know, we all get together. But tell me, do you watch much television at home? Do you?

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, we don't have television in Washington.

[Meredith Wilson]

Why not?

[Margaret Truman]

D.C. these are the D folks I know. There are people out there. I can hear them breathing now.

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, say, don't tell me that you won't be good on radio. Margaret. Truman, you just give me a minute to think. I'll come up with an idea for a program for you. Just a minute.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Maybe you can get an idea from a couple of my good friends. Here they are, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Say, Bob, incidentally, now that you're with Chesterfield.

[Joan Davis]

Suggestion, please. Why don't you try and conduct yourself with a little.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Little savoir fair, A little je ne sais quoi. Look, Vi, don't try to dazzle me with that stale French of yours. I could dazzle you with English, Bob. Dazzle be enough out of you. Seriously, friends, Skinflint and I, we do.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Agree 100% on this.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Chesterfields are milder and they leave no unpleasant aftertaste.

[Meredith Wilson]

So always buy our cigarette Chesterfield, the.

[Joan Davis]

Best cigarette for you to smoke.

[Margaret Truman]

Chesterfield, Chesterfield always win first place.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

That milder, mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

So open a pack, give him a smell.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Can you smoke them?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Don't forget to give Crosby for Christmas. I mean, the Chesterfield Christmas carton with.

[Meredith Wilson]

Bing as Papa Santa Claus.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, pardon me.

[Meredith Wilson]

Just a second too. Say, I think I have it, Margaret. A great idea for a program. Now, the first thing you need, of course, is. Is a singer.

[Margaret Truman]

I beg your pardon?

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, I'm sorry. I. I didn't mean it that way. I mean a popular singer.

[Margaret Truman]

I beg your pardon?

[Meredith Wilson]

No, no, I mean an unpopular singer. No, no, I. I know. What I really mean is a singer like Mindy Carson. Mindy, will you step over here, please?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Mindy, darling, I want you to meet someone. Ms. Truman, this is.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Just a minute, Talou. Let me introduce her. You know, with two singers on the program, you're bound to have trouble. Let me handle this. Mindy, I want you to meet Margaret Truman, miss Seattle of 1949.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Here.

[Margaret Truman]

How do you do, Mindy? It's a pleasure.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Now, don't fight, girls.

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, hello, Ms. Truman, I'm pleased to meet you.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Now, Mindy, is that a nice thing to say?

[Margaret Truman]

Mindy, I have all your records and I just love them.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh, relax, Ms. Truman. So what if she is a singer.

[Margaret Truman]

And I've gone to every one of your concerts. Ms. Truman, I just love you.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

She's just kidding, Ms. Truman. She doesn't mean it.

[Margaret Truman]

I've been looking forward to meeting you for a long time.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, girls, you both said the same thing together. Make a wish. You must lock your little fingers and make a wish. Come on, girls. That's it.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

There they go. They got a hammer lock on her.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Quiet, Phil. They're making a wish. Why don't you go away?

[Margaret Truman]

There, I've made mine. Me too.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now you mustn't tell, but the wish is. It won't come true.

[Margaret Truman]

Mindy, I'd love to hear you sing a song. Would you do that for me? Oh, see, my wish came true. I just made a wish that you'd ask me that. Certainly I'd love to sing for you. My song is the touch of your lips. That's the song I just wished you'd sing.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, if nobody's going to pay any attention to me, I'll be going.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Good. I wasn't even wishing him. I wish came true.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Well, same kindergarten gifts that are good, tender and sweet. And now at last, a moment divine. Upon my breast, your lips that are cool and sweet. Such tenderness lies in this my heart forgets to be.

[Margaret Truman]

The touch of your.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Hand upon my the love in your eyes. And now at last the moment divine. The touch of your lips. Your lips are also cool. Your hands are so warm. Upon my head the love in your eyes. And now at last, the moment of the touch of your lips.

[Joan Davis]

Ladies and gentlemen, America's newest car, the fine new Ford for 1951 is now on display at your neighborhood Ford dealers. And when you see it, you'll find that inside and out in every detail of design and construction, the 1951 Ford reflects true fine car quality. And in addition, it offers 43 look ahead features designed to keep the 51 Ford young in appearance and young in performance. For example, there's Ford Smart luxury lounge interiors with their exclusive color harmonized Ford craft fabrics. There's the new automatic ride control that automatically adjusts spring reaction to the type of road to give you a level ride, an easy ride. And there's the automatic mileage maker that lets you get the last mile out of every gallon of gasoline for utmost economy. Visit your Ford dealer soon and see the 1951 Ford yourself. You'll agree you can pay more, but you can't buy better.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, Fred, have you thought of an idea for a program for Ms. Truman yet?

[Meredith Wilson]

Yes, to Lou. I have a great idea and I could try it out on this program, but I'll need an awful lot of actors.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, that's easy, darling. I'm sure everyone on the show will be glad to help. Oh, here's Doug Fairbanks. Doug, will you help us out?

[Phil Silvers]

I'd be glad to.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, Doug, darling, I want you to meet someone. Ms. Truman, may I present Mr. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. How do you do?

[Phil Silvers]

How do you do? Ms. Truman, this is a great pleasure. I've been following your career with great interest.

[Margaret Truman]

Thank you.

[Phil Silvers]

Tell me, how does it feel to be the daughter of a great man?

[Margaret Truman]

How does it feel to be the son of a great man?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Very well put, darling. Now we'll get the rest of the cast. Joan. Joan Davis, don't you think it's time you got up off that floor, darling?

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I'll get up if somebody will give me a hand.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

All right, folks, how about a big hand for this little girl on the floor.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Please? We're trying to work out an idea for a program for Ms. Margaret Truman.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh. Oh, you got a plot going. I didn't know that. Cute, very cute. I like a plot. It's good. What's the plan?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Fred has an idea for a program to star Margaret Truman and we need everybody's help. Mindy, you'll help out, won't you?

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, sure. What do I have to do?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, Fred's going to tell us all about that in just a minute. But first, of course, I'll start the program off by ringing my chimes like this. This is NBC, the national broadcast.

[Joan Davis]

This is the big show. And Fred Allen is about to unveil an idea for a program starring Margaret Truman.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, Ed, programs aren't wearing veils this year. This is rather a bare faced idea. But I think Ms. Truman should be presented on a discussion program where she meets many dignitaries and discusses world's problems. How does that strike you, Margaret?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, I don't know, darling. It'll be just the thing for you. A hostess on a discussion program. And I'll be right here at your side to show you what to do. Well, Fred, how do we begin?

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, it would help a lot to Lou if we could begin with a sponsor.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, yes, Margot, you must have a sponsor. They give you free samples, you know, try to get an automobile sponsor. I once had an automobile sponsor. I got more transmission Belts.

[Mindy Carson]

And they look well on you, too.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Down, girl.

[Meredith Wilson]

See, I have just such a sponsor in mind, girls.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

The.

[Meredith Wilson]

The Banking Institutions of America. Now, the program as I see it will start off with a theme song. Meredith, how about some banking music? Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Margaret Truman Program. Brought to you by the Banking Institutions of America. Friends, visit your friendly neighborhood bank. Browse around, get acquainted with money. When you're in Washington, D.C. visit our factory where money is made. Ask for a sample. Taste it. Bite into a crisp new dollar bill. Notice that fresh mint flavor.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

It's rich.

[Phil Silvers]

It's green.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

It's tender.

[Meredith Wilson]

It's legal tender. And now we present the star of our show, Ms. Margaret Truman.

[Margaret Truman]

Hello again. This is Margaret truman.

[Meredith Wilson]

Thank you, Ms. Truman. And now back to our sponsor, Men. Banks offer opportunities for rapid advancement. Mr. Phil S. Of No Trump, Idaho, has this to say.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

I started working at a bank six months ago. I didn't know a thing about banking. Now I'm first vice president, and when my father absconds, I'll be president of the bank.

[Meredith Wilson]

The banking institutions of America have a vault to suit your every need. Mr. Douglas F. A silly putty, North Dakota.

[Phil Silvers]

Right. I've been married 10 years. And for 10 years, my wife and I each saved money in a vault. And every year on our wedding anniversary, we buy each other a gift out of the money we've saved. We call them our anniversary vaults.

[Meredith Wilson]

American. American banks. American banks are friendly. Banks come in, even if it's only to buy a postage stamp. Ms. Joan D. Of New York City.

[Mindy Carson]

Says, girls, I buy all my stamps at the bank. They have the stamp with a friendly mucilage that's kind to your tongue. Stamps come in six delicious flavors. Strawberry, cherry, raspberry, orange, lemon and air mail.

[Meredith Wilson]

Attention, housewives. Don't experiment making your own money. Use genuine United States money. It will save you time, possibly 20 years to life. A Ms. T. Ms. T. Bankhead, part time debutante of Montgomery, Alabama. Ms. Bankhead has this to say.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I have been using money for now 20 years. And I found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world. I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label. Except when I buy the large economy size with a picture of Abraham Lincoln.

[Meredith Wilson]

Ms. Bankhead has this to say.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I have been using money from now on to 20 years. And I found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world. I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label. Except when I buy the large economy size with the picture of Abraham Lincoln.

[Meredith Wilson]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is the star of our program, Ms. Margaret Truman.

[Margaret Truman]

Hello again. This is Margaret truman.

[Meredith Wilson]

Thank you, Ms. Truman. And now back to the commercial.

[Margaret Truman]

And for this show, I gave up the Army Navy game.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now you wait a minute, Fred. You can't feed Margaret like that.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, but the commercial's, Tallulah.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Besides, I don't think the banks are a good sponsor. No, if it's going to be a discussion program, she should have an educational sponsor.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, all right, I tell you what. We'll get the Board of Education to sponsor it. Would that be all right with you, Margaret?

[Margaret Truman]

Well, anything is all right as long as I get to say something besides hello again.

[Meredith Wilson]

Oh, ad libbing already.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Hey. Well, now, she's right, Fred. And I. I think to start her program off, she should sing a song. How about it, Margaret?

[Margaret Truman]

I'll be glad to.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

We'll do it now, darling. What are you going to sing, darling?

[Margaret Truman]

I'd like to sing Dr. Frank Black's arrangement of David Popper's Gavotte. Whenever you're ready, Mr. Wilson. What if you sleep.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

We will dance.

[Margaret Truman]

While yet we.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

While yet we.

[Joan Davis]

Here's a word from RCA Victor. This year, on the night before Christmas, most American children, and most American grownups too, will nestle snug in their beds while visions of television sets dance in their heads. Who could help dreaming of such a sugar plum? One that sweetens your life in your choice of delicious flavors no fewer than 300 days every year. If you're the man behind Santa Claus at your house, don't decide you can't afford a television set this Christmas. Until you see the 18 beautiful new RCA Victor television models at your RCA Victor dealers, divide their price tags by 365 and discover how amazingly little your daily entertainment costs per day. You'll find that most RCA Victor sets, even fabulous 16 inch consoles, cost less than $1 a day for one year. Of course, all the years afterwards are pure gravy. Study those RCA Victor values tomorrow and I think it's safe to say to you and all your family this very Christmas, happy looking.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Margaret, darling, that song you sang a moment ago was as delightful and gracious as you are.

[Margaret Truman]

Bless you. Thank you.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Hey, Ms. Truman. I don't know you sang like that. Say, you got a nice set of pipes. Look, I'm playing at the Copa Cabana now and I can put in a good word for you.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Phil, no.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

What's the matter with the culpa all of a Sudden, it's A good job, Ms. Truman. I can get you the same deal I got. I get 50% of all the glazed fruit sold in the place.

[Margaret Truman]

The laced fruit?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yeah. I got a smart manager. They wanted to give me 50% of all the money from the liquor sales. How about my manager, boy? Glazed fruits?

[Meredith Wilson]

Pardon me, Mr. Silver, will you yield?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Go away, Paige. You're ruining my filibuster.

[Meredith Wilson]

Gentlemen, from the Copacabana. You must yield. I am ready to start with Ms. Truman's discussion program sponsored by the Board of Education.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, please do, Fred. This will be a great chance for you.

[Margaret Truman]

Margaret, I don't know if I'll be able to handle a discussion program.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, it's easy, darling. I'll show you. You just watch me and do whatever I do. You can do that, can't you, dear?

[Margaret Truman]

Well, if it was good enough for Betty Davis, it's good enough for me.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Go on, Fred. On with the program.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, after Margaret finishes her song, we have a commercial, something like this. This program is brought to you each week by the Board of Education and by the thousands of wonderful school teachers barely living in your community. Friends, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Come to school, get a little knowledge, Live dangerously. The schools of America are training grounds for the future.

[Phil Silvers]

If you want to train for a military career, go to West Point.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

If you want to train for a naval career, go to Annapolis.

[Meredith Wilson]

If you want to train for a scientific career, go to Carnegie Tech.

[Mindy Carson]

If you want to train for Chicago, go to Grand Central Station.

[Meredith Wilson]

And now back to our. And now back to our discussion program and Ms. Margaret Truman.

[Margaret Truman]

Good evening, everyone.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

No, no, no, darling. This is an afternoon show.

[Margaret Truman]

Good afternoon, everyone.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

No, no, no, darling, not everyone. It's. Good afternoon, darlings. I'll show you. This is.

[Margaret Truman]

This is murder, isn't it?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now, listen to this. Here's the way you do it, darling. Welcome to our discussion program. And we have many dignitaries with us this afternoon who wish to discuss that problem on this open forum. You see, darling, it's very easy.

[Margaret Truman]

Thank you, Tallulah. Good afternoon, darlings.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, no, no, darling, you don't have to do that. I've already done it.

[Margaret Truman]

I should have made a deal for the glazed fruit.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Now you should talk to the first dignitary whose problem you're going to discuss.

[Margaret Truman]

Our first dignitary?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

No, that's not quite right, darling. I'll show you.

[Margaret Truman]

I'm from Missouri. But you don't have to show me that.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Isn't he sweet? You see, darling, you must tell the people that this is an open forum discussion, and anyone can say whatever he wants.

[Margaret Truman]

Yes, anyone but me.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, darling, that's a very funny joke.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I think. Pardon me, but I really think Ms. Truman is right. You ought to start the program off with a good joke.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

No, Joan, this is a program in which we discuss problems.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, I got a problem with this joke. You see, I've been telling this joke for a long time. And everybody's been taking it from me and telling it in different ways. And I want to know how I can stop them.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, that's a legitimate problem. Tell your joke, Joan.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, it's the story of a man who went into a grocery store and said, how much are your tomatoes? And he said, 30 cents a pound. And the man said, the grocer across the street only charges 20 cents a pound. And the grocer said, well, why don't you go across the street and buy them for 20 cents? And the man said, there are a lot of tomatoes across the street. And the grocer said, if I was out of tomatoes, I'd only charge 20 cents also. Boy, have I got a problem, huh? Well, thanks. You've been a swell bunch of seats.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

If that's your problem, darling, you have no problem. Anybody who takes that joke deserves it.

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, hi ho, it's time for another commercial. Friends, send your children to the schools of America. Remember, there is an American flag over every schoolhouse.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

No other country can make that statement.

[Meredith Wilson]

And remember, in American schools, the janitors, the groundkeepers and the plumbers all agree that they are the highest paid in the world.

[Margaret Truman]

No school teacher can make that statement.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Me.

[Meredith Wilson]

Parents, parents. Does your child say I ain't got. Well, get her some. And now back to our program and Ms. Truman.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, thank you, darling. And now.

[Margaret Truman]

Excuse me, Tallulah. I think he said Ms. Truman.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, yes, so he did, didn't he? Well, all you have to say, darling, is that I never. Our Next guest is Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. Ambassador from Bosnia, who has come to America with a special problem concerning his country. Hello, Mr. Fairbanks. You are the ambassador from Bosnia?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, not exactly. You see, when Bosnia is divided into two parts, Upper Bosnia and lower Bosnia. I am from lower Bosnia.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And where exactly is Lower Vas?

[Phil Silvers]

Just underneath Upper Woznia.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

That's a neat arrangement. And what is your mission here, Ambassador?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, you see, we are an impoverished country. We need money. But we have a problem. We are too small for the Marshall Plan and too large for the Morris Plan.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, how do you expect to get money here?

[Phil Silvers]

I had hoped to get on one of your quiz programs.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, I see. And what do you need the money for?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, we need money to modernize our army. So that we can live in peace.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

How large an army do you have?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, let me see. There is Gustav Johan Meyer. No, no, no Meyer. He is our navy.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Don't you have any sort of income in Bosnia?

[Phil Silvers]

Well, we do a fairly large import, export business. Last year, my country imported from the United States alone. Four ashtrays, two three way lamps. Or was it three two way lamps. And four electric blankets. But we had to return the electric blankets.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, why was that?

[Phil Silvers]

Wrong current.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, I see.

[Phil Silvers]

No dc.

[Margaret Truman]

Now, wait a minute, Doug.

[Joan Davis]

That was my joke.

[Phil Silvers]

I'm sorry. That joke was one of our imports.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And what you export, sir?

[Phil Silvers]

Only one thing.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Ples pleas.

[Phil Silvers]

And even with ples, we are having trouble. You see, in lower Bosnia, we charge 30 cents a pound for pleas. In upper bosnia charges only 20 cents a pound.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

How can Upper Bosnia afford to undersell you?

[Phil Silvers]

Because they are out of pleas.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yes, and if you were out of them, you would charge 20 cents, too.

[Phil Silvers]

That is correct.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Tell me, Ambassador, just exactly what are pleas?

[Phil Silvers]

Cucumbers.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, good. For a minute I thought he was going to tell my tomato joke.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

That was a very, very interesting problem, Mr. Fairbanks. Now, Margaret, you should thank Mr. Fairbanks.

[Margaret Truman]

You mean you're actually going to let me say something?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Certainly, darling. It's your program. Just say thanks.

[Margaret Truman]

All right, Mr. Fairbanks. I want to thank you for coming on our program. And your problem has touched me deeply. And I want to assure you that we will give it the utmost consideration. And please take with you our hopes for a successful solution to your country's problem. Thank you for coming over. Thanks very much. Thanks a million.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

What a ham. All right, who's the next guest on our own open discussion program? How about you, Phil Silver?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, as long as everybody else is beefing, I got something I like to say. But I don't suppose anybody would be interested.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

I suppose not, darling. Who's next?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Wait, wait, wait a minute. That's my trouble. Everybody takes me literally. Like a few years ago when I decided to go into pictures. I told my agent to get me a contract with Fox. So he got me a contract with Fox.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

20Th Century Fox?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

No, I. J. Fox. I should have known. When the guy came over with the contract. He was a short, stocky man with.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Gray Persian hair and a cold nose.

[Phil Silvers]

Cold nose.

[Meredith Wilson]

Funny.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Funny. Well, you may or you may not have seen me in pictures. Which is of no consequence. Because I always play the same part. My Name is always Blinky. And I'm always a friend of the hero. I love the hero in the picture. His problems become my problems. I'm usually in musical pictures, Technicolor music pictures. Everybody's happy in the picture. That is, everybody but me. Because always in the beginning of the picture, the heroine, usually played by Betty Grable, has a fight with the hero, usually played by John Payne. And he walks out on her, leaving me alone with Grable, which is not exactly a bad situation. Along with Grable. You see, I come from a neighborhood in Brooklyn. I know what to do in a situation like this. But do I get a chance to show Grable I'm able? Do I get a chance to show Betty I'm ready? No, I gotta go looking for him. And where did the heroes go when they're carrying the torch in these pictures? Always the same place. The Barbary Coast. Once I'd like to see a guy go to Lindy's. I could have a sandwich while I'm looking for it. Well, what's the use of talking about it? Let me show you a scene from this type picture, usually called hello something. Hello. Well, when I finally find the hero, he's at the bar. And I walk up to him and I say, john, I've been looking all over for you. You remember me, Blinky? John, I got the stuff in the car. That's my opening line in every picture, I got the stuff in a car. What stuff? I've never been able to find out. But if he wants it, I got it. John, I say, John, come back to that girl. Betty. She loves you. She misses you. Why, she hasn't slept a wink since you left. How could she? You took the mattress, John. What are you hitting, John? One lousy joke. You hit Blinky. Go on back to that girl. Yes, I love her too. But after all, finders keepers, losers, reapers. This later becomes the hit song of the picture, which they don't let me sing. No, no, John, no. Don't say goodbye. Just go. It'll be easier this way. I'll take care of the check. Well, I take care of so many of the heroes checks. By the end of the picture, he saved enough money to marry Betty. And they go away on their honeymoon. And now, from the first time in the picture, he doesn't need me. Then there's another type picture. It's called the College Musical. For this, they usually use people under contract. It's cheaper that way, easier on the budget, it. And that's why you see Walter Pigeon as A freshman, Marjorie Maine as a co ed and I'm still blinking friend of the heroes. Let me show you a scene from hello, college days. Hello. Give him the axe. Give him the axe. Rickety, rickety rickety Rex. Yay, team. I'm Toronto for hello, boys and girls. Where's my old friend John, who is the star quarterback of the team? What? He's been thrown off the team for giving away the signals to the rival coach. Amazing. Where is he? Locked himself in his room. Well, I better go and get him.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

John.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

John, open the door. John. It's me, Blinky. John, we only got three minutes for the. I got the stuff in the car.

[Joan Davis]

Come on, John.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Betty knows you're not guilty. She told everybody she saw you in the chemistry class when you were mixing the Bunsen burner with the X24 formula, which came out blue. And then Zelda was there. Zelda came with Rodney, the dean's son. And they saw you and they came out and Zelda said, did you see John? And Betty says, yes, I saw him, Zelda. And Zelda says, well, I saw him. You like this plot, John? Open the door, John. Remember the old college spirit. Give him the ax. Give him the axe. Rickety rickety riggedy Rex.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yay.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Keep. You got to be a football heel to get you along with the beauty. Come on, Johnny, open the door. I got the stuff in the car. John, open the door. John. Why don't he answer me? Oh, I forgot. In this picture, the hero is Dan Daly. No wonder he'd answer me. Dan, Dan, you've got to be a he long bit a beautiful girl. Yay, King. And then there's another type picture. An epic. For this picture, they send 500 technicians to Darkest Africa. They hire big writers, big actors. Everything's on a high plane. Lots of changes. But I'm still Blinky. Let me show you a scene from hello King Solomon's Minds. Hello. Lost in the jungle. The intense heat. Marooned. Marona.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Marooned.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Come along here on the trouble. Here, you native boys. Quickly, punch up.

[Joan Davis]

Come here, boy.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Have you seen a tall man? I've been looking around for 19 months. My goodness.

[Phil Silvers]

There he is.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

My friend. John. John, at last I found you. You remember me? Kaino. Blinky. Come on, John. They know you didn't do the crime because Zelda told the police Zelda was. Zelda is the producer's wife. She likes her name mentioned in it too. Come on, John, don't be a fool. I came here to rescue you. No, go back, John. Go. Listen, I got this stuff in a safari. John. Go back to Betty, who loves you. No, don't say goodbye, John. It'll be easier this way. Just go. Go, John. What have I got to look forward to? What's to become of me? I'm always a friend of the hero. Always the hero's friend. The pictures are as usual, designed to please the masses. The girls keep playing hard to get, the boys keep making passes. And I have to stand there watching them while they sit. Steam up my glasses. Where will this frustration end? I'm always the heroes. I got this stuff in the car. See you in a little bit.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

And now Bob Hope would like to put a word in. Go ahead, Bob. Darling, this is Bob Hope.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Can we steal a second?

[Joan Davis]

Say, Bob, did you notice there's a new Chesterfield poster of you around town?

[Meredith Wilson]

Yeah, I saw one in a drugstore the other day. I'm dressed up as Santa Claus.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yeah, and you're holding a carton of.

[Joan Davis]

Chesterfields with a picture of Bing, you know, who dressed up as Santa Claus. And you're saying for Christmas gifts? Here's the answer.

[Meredith Wilson]

Yep, Crosby for Christmas.

[Joan Davis]

Bob, seriously, why did they make Crosby Papa Santa Claus in the Christmas carton instead of you?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, hi.

[Meredith Wilson]

By tradition, Santa Claus is an old man.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Yes, always carrying a sack full.

[Joan Davis]

Well, in all fairness to Bing, Bob, I must say it's a very attractive.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Gift and is packed with 200 of.

[Meredith Wilson]

Those always milder Chesterfields, which make as fine a gift as anyone could give or anyone could get.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

And folks, if you want to prove that just for yourself, make that Chesterfield mildness test. Open them, smell them, compare them and smoke them.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Chesterfield, Chesterfield, always that Miler. Mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste.

[Fred Allen]

So open a pack, give them a.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Smell and you'll smoke them.

[Meredith Wilson]

See you Tuesday night, folks, for Chesterfield.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, now that Bob Hope has solved our Christmas problem, who's left? Oh, Mindy. Carson, we haven't heard from you. What is your problem, darling?

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, I have no problem.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You what?

[Margaret Truman]

Yes, I'm quite happy. My husband's getting me a mink coat for Christmas. My RCA Victor records are selling well and last week I lost £2. So you see, I have no problem. I'm very happy, quite contented.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

How dare you be happy.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Oh, Ms. Bankhead, I have a problem I'd like to enter into this discussion program.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yes, Merdy?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, I wrote a special arrangement for a Boeing quartet.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Uh huh. A what?

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

A Boing quartet. And I thought that Maybe you and Ms. Truman and Joan and Mindy would do it for me.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Can You Boing, Joan.

[Mindy Carson]

Well, if I bend over once more, I think I will. Boing.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Well, now we need a male soloist. How about you, Fred?

[Meredith Wilson]

Well, I'm the right agenda, Meredith.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

Splendid. You see, I've always wanted to have a glee club just like Fred Waring. You know, with a Boing quartet. Could we try it with down by the Old Mill Stream?

[Tallulah Bankhead]

All right. Meredith Wilson, the orchestra and chorus, the Boing Quartet, and our guest vocalist, Mr. Fred Allen. Darlings, I hope you get a big boing out of this.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Sam, I first met you with your eyes so.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You were 16.

[Phil Silvers]

You are 16.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

You were 16.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

You were 16. Hello. How old was the girl?

[Joan Davis]

16.

[Meredith Wilson]

My village queen.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Jack. Queen. My.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Meredith darling, that was wonderful, wonderful fun for all of us. Didn't you enjoy it, Margaret?

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, yes. Let's do it again.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Oh, excuse me, darling. Mr. Telephone. Hello? Yes. What? No, no, I'm terribly sorry. Well, it's very kind of you to offer, but we don't need a piano player.

[Meredith Wilson]

Tallulah. Tallulah? You mean.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Yes, Hoagie Carmichael, my dear, to play the piano for us. Well, Margaret, we're nearing the close of our show. Is there someone special you'd like to say goodnight to? Of course. I'm trying to be delicate about it. I could give you a slight hint. Would you like to say good night to Washington?

[Margaret Truman]

Oh, sure. Good night, George.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Well, I asked for it. Well, this is about it, folks. And try to be with us again next week, won't you, darlings? Our guests will be Jimmy Durante, Clifton Webb, Emma Jean Coker, Mindy Carson, Eddie Arnold and others. Until then. May the good Lord bless and keep you where the near or far away.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

May you find that long awaited golden day today.

[Margaret Truman]

Joan.

[Mindy Carson]

May your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes 10 times 10. Greg.

[Meredith Wilson]

May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. Margaret.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

May you walk with sunlight shining and a blue bird in every tree. May there be a silver lining. Back of every cloud you see Douglas.

[Phil Silvers]

Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows. Never mind what might have been Film.

[Douglas Fairbanks Jr.]

May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

Pioneers May you walk, the sunlight shining and the blue bird in every tree. May there be a silver lining. Michael. Every cloud you see your dreams Whiskey Tomorrow. Never mind what might have been.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again.

[Sons of the Pioneers]

May the good Lord bless and take it you.

[Tallulah Bankhead]

Good night, darlings.

[Joan Davis]

Big show will come to you next Sunday and every Sunday at this time. Brought to you by the Whitehall pharmacal cere, by your local 4 dealer, by RCA Victor, world leader in radio and by Chesterfield. The Big show is produced and directed by D. Engelbach. This is Ed Hurley saying, have fun with Phil Harris and Alice Bay next on NBC.