The Creaking Door xx-xx-xx (01) The Vagrant

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Creaking Door xx-xx-xx (01) The Vagrant"

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: The Creaking Door xx-xx-xx (01) The Vagrant
Release Date: January 30, 2025

Overview

"The Vagrant," the inaugural episode of The Creaking Door series, delves into the tumultuous life of Sam Samuel Wallace, a 35-year-old vagrant grappling with personal demons and a crumbling marriage. Set against the backdrop of the Golden Age of Radio, the episode masterfully intertwines themes of despair, guilt, and psychological instability, all while painting a vivid picture of post-war societal struggles.

Plot Summary

The episode opens with Sam Samuel Wallace, a downtrodden man clad in a crumpled suit, sitting despondently on a riverbank. His deteriorating appearance and reliance on cheap wine hint at a deep-seated unhappiness and possibly escapism from his harsh realities (02:53).

Encounter with Authority:

Sam's interactions with an off-duty officer reveal his strained relationship with society. When confronted for his vagrancy, Sam is dismissive and nonchalant, admitting, "I'm a vagrant. Arrest me if you like. It doesn't matter. Another few days in jail. What's that to a guy like me?" (04:04). This exchange underscores his detachment and resignation towards his circumstances.

Marital Discord:

The core of the episode revolves around Sam's troubled marriage to Jeanette. Through a conversation laden with tension, Sam expresses his love for Sandy, hinting at an affair that spiraled into a complex web of deceit and murder. Jeanette's presence, both real and possibly a figment of Sam's deteriorating mental state, blurs the lines between reality and hallucination. Jeanette confronts Sam with accusatory statements like, "You hate me" (11:15) and challenges his masculinity, calling him "a cowardly fool" (17:53).

The Gun and Its Consequences:

A pivotal moment occurs when Sam purchases a gun, a decision that signifies his descent into potential violence. Jeanette's discovery of the weapon leads to a harrowing confrontation where she manipulates Sam, making him believe that she intends to end their troubled marriage through violence. Sam's internal conflict is palpable when he reflects, "I expect I made up my mind to kill her then, but I fooled myself that I didn't have to" (09:41).

Climactic Confrontation:

The tension culminates in a dramatic scene where Sam accidentally shoots Jeanette during a heated argument over the gun. The confusion between Jeanette and Sandy, who begins to impersonate Jeanette, suggests Sam's fractured psyche. As Sam grapples with the aftermath, he confesses, "I shot her. She was gonna kill me. And we fought over the gun, that's all" (18:47).

Resolution and Arrest:

In the final act, Sam is confronted by the officer, who pieces together the truth behind Jeanette's disappearance. Despite Sam's attempts to rationalize his actions, the evidence mounts against him. The episode closes with Sam's realization of his eternal turmoil, stating, "My troubles are with me for eternity" (24:56).

Key Characters and Dynamics

• Sam Samuel Wallace: A vagrant battling depression, alcoholism, and marital strife. His journey reflects the struggles of reintegration post-war and the psychological scars left behind.

• Jeanette: Sam's wife, whose deteriorating relationship with him becomes the catalyst for the unfolding tragedy. Her confrontational demeanor exposes the deep-seated issues within their marriage.

• Sandy: Possibly an alternate persona or Sam's real mistress, Sandy introduces complexity to the narrative, blurring the lines between reality and Sam's possible hallucinations or split personality.

• Officer: Represents societal authority and the intrusion of external forces into Sam's troubled life. His interactions with Sam highlight the latter's alienation and resistance to change.

Notable Quotes

• Sam on His Situation:
  "I have flown. I have sailed. I have moved about this world of ours and ever in search of the finest of its kind." (00:12)

• Sam's Resignation:
  "I'm a vagrant. Arrest me if you like. It doesn't matter. Another few days in jail. What's that to a guy like me?" (04:04)

• Jeanette's Accusation:
  "You hate me." (11:15)

• Sam's Reflection on the Gun:
  "I expect I made up my mind to kill her then, but I fooled myself that I didn't have to." (09:41)

• Sam's Final Realization:
  "My troubles are with me for eternity." (24:56)

Themes and Insights

1. Psychological Decline: Sam's interactions and inner monologue reveal a man teetering on the edge of sanity, haunted by guilt and unfulfilled desires. The blurred lines between Jeanette and Sandy suggest a fractured mind struggling to cope with remorse and addiction.

2. Marital Dissatisfaction: The loveless, mundane marriage between Sam and Jeanette highlights the emotional disconnect that can lead to destructive outcomes. Their inability to communicate effectively exacerbates their problems, leading Sam towards fatal decisions.

3. Societal Alienation: As a vagrant, Sam represents those marginalized by society, struggling to find their place amidst judgment and rejection. The officer's disdainful attitude underscores the lack of support systems for individuals like Sam.

4. Guilt and Redemption: Throughout the episode, Sam grapples with his actions and their repercussions. His eventual arrest signifies a loss of control over his life, culminating in a sense of eternal damnation.

5. Duality of Identity: The presence of Sandy, alternating with Jeanette, introduces the concept of duality, possibly hinting at dissociative identity disorder or the manifestation of Sam's conflicting desires and guilt.

Conclusion

"The Vagrant" offers a poignant exploration of a man's descent into despair, exacerbated by personal failures and societal neglect. Through compelling dialogue and intricate character dynamics, the episode paints a somber picture of the human condition, echoing the timeless narratives of the Golden Age of Radio. Listeners are left contemplating the fragility of the human psyche and the dire consequences of unresolved inner turmoil.

Notable Timestamps

• Introduction of Sam's Struggles: 02:53
• Confrontation with Officer: 04:04
• Sam's Admission of Love for Sandy: 05:20
• Discovery of the Gun: 09:05
• Climactic Shooting: 18:47
• Final Arrest and Realization: 24:56

---

Timestamp Reference

<a id="Timestamp-00:12"></a>[00:12]
<a id="Timestamp-02:53"></a>[02:53]
<a id="Timestamp-04:04"></a>[04:04]
<a id="Timestamp-05:20"></a>[05:20]
<a id="Timestamp-09:05"></a>[09:05]
<a id="Timestamp-11:15"></a>[11:15]
<a id="Timestamp-18:47"></a>[18:47]
<a id="Timestamp-24:56"></a>[24:56]

Transcript

[Narrator]

I have flown. I have sailed. I have moved about this world of ours and ever in search of the finest of its kind. We bring you the tops in spine chillers. Creaking Door. The manufacturers of State Express 35 Filter King cigarettes take pleasure in presenting. The Creaking Door.

[Host]

Good evening, friends of the creaking door. The creaking door is opening, so do come in. You know, some ghosts are awful liars. One of our people here tells the most fantastic stories of his life on earth. And then he wonders why everyone sees through him.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Host]

A man sits on a bench near the river. His suit is crumpled and ancient, his shoes broken. Now and then he sips from a bottle of cheap wine that has become his only friend. But he doesn't sip with good cheer and happiness. He drinks in Horro.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Or Move on there. Move on. Oh, officer, I feel pretty weak.

[Officer]

Drinking in the afternoon won't make you any stronger.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I've been ill. Oh, sure.

[Officer]

I've heard every sob story Hobo ever dreamed up. You know what's wrong with you? They used to call it lack of moral fiber back there in the war. You're just a spineless lump of humanity, not able to get the courage to jump in the river. Now get going or I'll run you in.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Oh, very well. No hard feelings.

[Sandy]

I know you're just doing the job.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

The city pays you for.

[Officer]

You got the price of a mail?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No, I'm a vagrant. Arrest me if you like. It doesn't matter. Another few days in jail. What's that to a guy like me?

[Officer]

If I stake you to a.

[Sandy]

You know the answer.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Booze.

[Officer]

I know some people who help guys like you. Most of them are ex drunks and they. They understand. You sound like an educated man. He might be able to do something for you.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No, thanks. I've got the greatest respect for people like that. They'd sober me up. And the one thing I couldn't stand to be. To be sober. The nightmares don't come to me through drink. It's the opposite.

[Sandy]

They come when I'm Sober.

[Officer]

Oh, man, we all have our problems.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Not problems like mine, obviously. Did you ever hear a dead woman talk? Did you ever have a dead woman tell you that she loved you after you'd murdered her?

[Officer]

Now, what's this talk about murder?

[Sandy]

You can't arrest me for it.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Sure, I killed her. Sandra helped. Maybe it was Sandra's idea.

[Sandy]

But you can't arrest me for killing Jeanette, because Jeanette isn't dead.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

You see, I was married to Jeanette.

[Host]

When I fell to Sandra.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Cassandra was beautiful. Janet was insipid. Beside Sandy. I loved Sandy.

[Host]

Sandy?

[Jeanette]

Yes, Sam?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I love you.

[Jeanette]

Me too.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

How could it happen to a man like me? 35 years old, married, not really living, and then one day.

[Jeanette]

Oh, it hasn't, darling. It happens all the time. One of the big things of life. The biggest. And it happens to you and me. Why do you love me?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I don't know. Yes, I do. Your hair. Your lips. The way you walk.

[Host]

The swing of your skirt.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

The touch of your fingers in the dark.

[Jeanette]

Did you love your wife that way?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No. Jeannette was the girl next door. Everybody expected us to get married. Well, we did. It was like most marriages. Oh, we didn't even fight. Just petty bickerings. Deadly dull. Was never like the thing I feel for you.

[Jeanette]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

If I were free? I often think that.

[Jeanette]

Oh, it's wicked to think like that. After all, Jeanette deserves her happiness too.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

She isn't happy with me.

[Sandy]

How could she be?

[Jeanette]

Then she might have lost you.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah. I'll tell you what I'll do, Sammy. I'll wait until we have one of our usual rows and ask her. You never know. That's how it started, Officer. Just a few words, Sid. Casual.

[Officer]

I'll tell me the rest of it.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Sure. Remember, there's no arrest you can make because she's still alive. How?

[Sandy]

Search me.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

But she's alive and kicking. I know that. You see, Officer, I don't know exactly when I decided to kill her. Perhaps it was when she refused to divorce me. Yeah. Yeah, I. I think that was.

[Jeanette]

I wish you'd remember to wipe your feet when you come into the house, fam. Dragging motto over the carpet.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Sorry, Jeanette.

[Jeanette]

Oh, sorry. Nothing. I have to clean up after you, don't I?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, you have to clean up and.

[Jeanette]

Try and take a little care. And we need new drapes for the living room.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Okay. Just pick them out, honey.

[Jeanette]

You don't care, do you? You're tired of me and the house. Tired of everything. Who is she, Sam?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Who's who? Jeanette.

[Jeanette]

Do you think a wife doesn't know? You must be crazy if you do. I know. I knew immediately. Some cheap little floors.

[Sandy]

Well, why should you care? What does it mean to you? There's no love lost between us and you know it. Suppose there is another girl and she can give me what you can.

[Jeanette]

I expect you want a divorce. That's the next step.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Well, I don't see any point in.

[Sandy]

Going on like this, do you? Did you ever see any point in it?

[Jeanette]

You can forget it, of course. You may not be the husband of my dreams, Sam, but you happen to be my husband. And I'm not making a free gift of you to some children.

[Sandy]

You better be careful what you say. You don't know her.

[Jeanette]

I don't want her know her. Thank you. Now, that ends the entire sordid conversation and I refuse to discuss it again.

Make yourself at home, Sam. I'll fix us a drink. Here, take your jacket out.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

This is really like home.

[Jeanette]

Sam.

[Sandy]

Sam.

[Jeanette]

You're wearing the gun.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, I just bought it.

[Jeanette]

I hate guns.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

This city just isn't safe at night anymore.

[Jeanette]

No, that's true.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I've never fired a gun in my life.

[Jeanette]

Well, you'll have to get some practice.

[Officer]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Maybe we can go somewhere this weekend, huh?

[Jeanette]

Sam.

[Sandy]

Sam, if I were you, I. I.

[Jeanette]

Wouldn'T wear that gun. I wouldn't let anybody know you've got it. Leave it here until you need it.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Until I need it. Yeah.

[Jeanette]

Boy, I'm with you all the way.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Thanks, Sammy.

[Jeanette]

Huh. Here's to us.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yup, here's to us. Shut away from the world in our little hideaway. That's how I want it, Sandy. I don't like people a lot, you know. I want us to be together for always. That's how it started, Officer. I bought a gun. I expect I made up my mind to kill her then, but I fooled myself that I didn't have to. She might see things my way.

[Officer]

And she never did.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No. No, she never did it. Women are funny creatures.

[Officer]

You can say that again.

[Host]

A woman.

[Officer]

Oh, well, some, anyway, like being married. They like having the status, if you can call it that. Even when they hate the man. Crazy.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

[Officer]

But no excuse for murder.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I don't think I'd have done it if. You don't ever know another person, do you?

[Sandy]

You sit across from them at meals.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

You share the night with them and talk all the things one talks about.

[Sandy]

You don't know them at all.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I. I never really knew what was in her mind never.

[Jeanette]

You were late home tonight.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jeanette]

Seeing your little sweetheart.

[Sandy]

Oh, lay off me, will you, Jeanette?

[Jeanette]

I hoped we could go to a movie, that's all.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

You hate me.

[Sandy]

You show it every day. Why should I take you to a movie?

[Jeanette]

Because we have to live normal lives, that's why. Does she look like me?

[Narrator]

No.

[Sandy]

You must know she doesn't.

[Jeanette]

I'll bet she does.

[Sandy]

No, she doesn't.

[Jeanette]

Younger, I expect, and prettier.

[Sandy]

I don't want to talk to you about it.

[Jeanette]

I wonder how she feels. Guilty, I expect. Or is she without feelings of any kind?

[Sandy]

Good is all this doing you? You know I want you to divorce me. You know I want to marry Sandy.

[Jeanette]

So that's her name. Sandy. How sweet. Or perhaps it's a nickname. Of course, you could leave me and simply live with her. Or is she insistent on the wedding ring? You'll lose a lot, Sam. The house, the car. It's in my name. The alimony won't be cheap. Can you keep your job?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

None of it matters.

[Sandy]

Can't you understand that?

[Jeanette]

You have got it badly, my dear, haven't you?

[Sandy]

Yes, I have. Jeanette, our marriage was a mistake and.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

We both know it.

[Sandy]

One day the right man for you will come along and you'll be happy.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Now you're just bitter and unhappy.

[Jeanette]

Sam, a marriage is a marriage. It's for life. And as far as I'm concerned, that's that. If we're unhappy, we deserve to be. I just don't believe in divorce.

Don't be depressed, Sam. Don't be sad about anything.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

If she was God.

[Jeanette]

Yeah, if there were only an accident, say. Or a burglar. You said the city was dangerous. You were right. You know it is. People get killed. You hear of bad things happening every day of the year, don't you, Sam?

[Commercial Voice]

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[Host]

Oh, this adds up to trouble. You know, many a man has felt just as Sam feels. Only a few. Use the gun, pull the trigger. Interesting people. Murderers. I meet quite a few behind the creaking door.

[Officer]

Well, what did you Do? The Sandy girl was asking you to murder your wife, wasn't she?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, she was, I suppose, Officer. I wonder if she knew it then. Oh, I didn't need much telling. I was ready for it. But the way it happened was something else again. Something I didn't expect. Sandy, you're falling asleep.

[Jeanette]

I'm happy. Cat that ate the cream.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

It's great being here with you. Closed away from the world.

[Jeanette]

Every girl has a man in her mind. Man she wants and needs more than anything else. Do I look like Jeanette?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No, nothing like her.

[Jeanette]

She's a blonde, isn't she?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

That's right. She's a pretty girl. Nice girl. Just not for me, that's all. Some other guy, she. He'd make her happy. Some other guy, but not me.

[Jeanette]

Sam, I still got your gun here.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I know.

[Jeanette]

I'm scared having it here. You better take it tonight, Sandy.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

If you want me to.

[Jeanette]

You know this thing has to end, don't you?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

What do you mean, Sandy?

[Jeanette]

What I say. It has to end. Because people can't act this way. Not forever. I'm not your wife. I'm nothing. You better make up your mind to stay with her and love her. There's no other way.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

No. Please, no.

[Jeanette]

You can't live like this, Sam. You make up your mind once and for all. And here's your gun.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I took the gun and I walked home. She was there. Jeanette. With that martyred look on her face. Dinner waiting. Poor Jeanette. None of it was her fault.

[Jeanette]

I've made dumplings, the way you like them.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Thanks.

[Jeanette]

Can she cook, Sandy?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Just leave me alone. Jeanette.

[Jeanette]

Whatever you do is your own business, Sam. Here, eat your supper.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I don't feel hungry.

[Jeanette]

Oh, she can cook, is that it? Take your jacket off if you like. What's that? A gun?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yes, Jeanette, it's a gun.

[Jeanette]

Well, let's see it. I used to be rather a good shot.

[Sandy]

Be careful, it's loaded.

[Jeanette]

Oh, thanks. You poor simp. Did you buy it to shoot me, Sam?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Don't be foolish.

[Jeanette]

I can read you like a book, Sam. You bought it to kill me. But you didn't have the nerve. You never would have managed it. You haven't the courage to shoot a thick.

[Sandy]

I wouldn't shoot you, Jeanette. You've done me no harm.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

If we hurt one another. That's how things are.

[Jeanette]

But now I have the gun. You pull back the slide like this. Now it's cocked. Push the safety catch forward. Now it's ready to fire.

[Sandy]

Carefully. It has a hair trigger.

[Commercial Voice]

Jeanette.

[Sandy]

Don't point it at me.

[Jeanette]

Goodbye, husband. No, I mean my head.

[Sandy]

Let go of that gun. Let go. Go now, you fool.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Jeanette.

[Sandy]

Jeanette, I swear I didn't mean it.

[Jeanette]

Hello, Sam. Sam.

[Sandy]

Did she let you come here?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

She's dead.

[Jeanette]

What do you mean?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I shot her.

[Jeanette]

Sam, tell me quickly.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

She was gonna kill me. And we fought over the gun, that's all. I didn't mean to, but nobody will believe me now.

[Jeanette]

Of course not.

[Sandy]

Did you leave her just lying there? Oh, Sam, tell me everything.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, I just left her where she fell.

[Jeanette]

Give me your door key.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

What for? I must go to the police, that's all.

[Sandy]

Give me the key. You're full. I'm in the store, you know, accessory after the fact. I can hang too.

[Jeanette]

The key.

[Sandy]

Come on, quickly, please.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Jeanette.

[Sandy]

I'm Sandy. I'm not Jeanette.

Oh, my mind's going.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

The key.

[Jeanette]

Quickly.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

There.

[Sandy]

What are you gonna do?

[Jeanette]

Never mind now.

[Sandy]

Just stay here and don't leave.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Whatever you say, Sandy. Anything you. That's how it happened, officer.

[Sandy]

It was an accident.

[Officer]

Well, it sounds like something else to me. Where's your wife now?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I don't know. How could I know this?

[Officer]

Sandy. What did she do with the body?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I don't know. I was scared to ask. She came back that night when she'd been away for an hour. Terrible thing is, she was looking exactly like Jeanette.

[Jeanette]

I was scared you'd go to the police, Sam.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Did you. Did you go around to my place?

[Jeanette]

Yeah. There's nothing to worry about.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

What did you do?

[Jeanette]

Don't ask. Just don't go there again, that's all.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

But what have you done?

[Jeanette]

I told you, don't ask me. Some things are better not talked about.

[Sandy]

Is there any brandy left?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Yeah, almost a bottle.

[Jeanette]

Pour us two drinks, stiff ones. We need it now.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

All right.

[Jeanette]

We're going to drink it all, then sleep.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Anything you say here.

[Jeanette]

To us.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I'm too weak to live.

[Sandy]

Nothing I do.

[Jeanette]

I love you.

[Sandy]

That's all you have to remember.

Why are you doing your hair like Jeanette's?

[Jeanette]

Drink your drink, Sam. You're coming apart.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I drank everything she gave me and I slept. It was late in the morning when I woke up and the sun was high. There was a woman standing, looking down at me.

[Jeanette]

Sam, you're in a bad way.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Jeanette. What are you doing here?

[Sandy]

Jeanette.

[Jeanette]

You foolish boy. I'm Sandy.

[Sandy]

Jeanette.

Did you call Sam?

Jeanette. She was here just now.

[Jeanette]

You've been having a nightmare.

[Sandy]

No, no, I. I saw her. She she. She went into the kitchen.

I just come from there. She isn't there, Sam. Jeanette is there.

I saw her, I tell her.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

After that, I saw Jeanette everywhere. In the street, outside my office, even sitting in my car. And Sandy changed her hairstyle and her clothes. She looked more like Jeanette every day. And she began to nag me, just like Jeanette.

[Sandy]

Pick your legs up, Sam. I can't clean the place if you sprawl there all day.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Sorry.

[Sandy]

You must try to control these silly visions of yours.

I know, but she's there. She's everywhere. I saw her just now, Sandy, as I came in. She was standing in the hallway just looking at me.

[Jeanette]

Hello?

[Sandy]

Yeah, he's here.

But nobody knows I'm here, Sandy.

Well, obviously somebody does.

[Jeanette]

Answer it.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

All right. Hello?

[Jeanette]

Hello, Sam.

[Sandy]

No, you're dead. You're dead.

[Jeanette]

Oh, give it to me. You fool, you. No spine at all.

[Sandy]

Hello.

[Jeanette]

How meringue.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

It was her.

[Sandy]

I know it was her. Sadly, it was her.

Clear off out of here. I can't stand having you around. Man is schemes to shoot his wife and lacks the courage and gets himself into a state of nerves like a child.

[Jeanette]

I'll go on.

[Sandy]

There's the door beater.

Oh, please, Sandy, give me another chance.

Just one thing. I'll give you the gun.

[Jeanette]

Here.

[Sandy]

Go on, take it with you. You may need it.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I kept the gun. One of these days it's gonna come in handy, Officer.

[Officer]

Have you got it with you now?

[Commercial Voice]

Sure.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

I've always got it with me.

[Officer]

Oh, you better hand it to me, then.

[Sandy]

No, no, I've got a permit.

[Officer]

You've just confessed to a murder, Laddie buck. You're a vagrant on your own admission. Now, I'm taking her to the police station, but first I want a few details. I don't want the sergeant to get all the credit. Your name?

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Sam Samuel Wallace. Listen to me, dirty one. Hansel Crescent. But it isn't fair.

[Sandy]

She isn't dead. She can't be.

[Officer]

I will soon find out after we've dug up the back garden. Now, the gun. And it's over.

[Sandy]

But it's my last hope.

[Officer]

Don't talk foolish. You haven't got the guts to shoot yourself and you know it. And it's over.

[Host]

Oh, I guess you're right.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

Here. It's better now.

[Officer]

Come along with me, son. Your troubles are over.

[Sam Samuel Wallace]

My troubles are with me for eternity.

[Sandy]

Jan.

[Jeanette]

Yes, dear?

Can I borrow that hair dry?

Of course, Sandy.

I wonder if he's done it yet.

He won't have the courage to until he's quite mad.

It's worth waiting for, though, isn't it?

50,000. Of course, Sandy. And the lovely thing about it is that nobody can ever find out. Nobody anywhere can ever find out how we did it.

Yeah, well, he deserved it. After all, he was going to shoot you.

Well, of course he deserved it. I acted my own death rather well, of course. But apart from that, how can the man be such a cowardly fool?

Yeah. Say, have you thought what might happen if he went to the police, Sam?

He won't. He hasn't got that much courage.

[Host]

De Quincey once pointed out that many a man has owed his social downfall to a little murder he thought nothing of at the time. Poor Sam. Perhaps he would have been well advised to shoot both of them, for one Simply can't tell, can one.

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[Host]

This is your host back again. Just a reminder of our rendezvous next week. Where are we going? Through the creaking door, of course.

[Narrator]

The manufacturers of State Express 35 Filter King cigarettes invite you to listen next Saturday at 9 o'clock when they will again present the creaking door.