The Fabulous Dr. Tweedy 47-01-08 (19) The Athletic Trophies

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: The Fabulous Dr. Tweedy 47-01-08 (19) "The Athletic Trophies"
Date: January 8, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Format: Classic radio comedy episode (original airdate January 8, 1947), with commentary and presentation by Harold

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Episode Overview

This episode features the comedic misadventures from The Fabulous Dr. Tweedy, a light-hearted sitcom set in an eccentric college community. The story revolves around Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy, Dean of Men at Potts College, as he navigates the chaos surrounding the protection of the school's athletic trophies before a crucial basketball game. Amidst a blend of slapstick, witty banter, and farcical scenarios, Tweedy’s attempts at both music and athletics lead to uproarious trouble, quirky encounters, and misunderstandings with colleagues, students, and the college’s pet gopher.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

Comedic Chamber Music Rehearsal (01:12 - 07:03)

• Opening Scene: Dr. Tweedy attempts to regale his Old English sheepdog, Baldy, with his bassoon playing. The dog's indifferent response sparks witty remarks about his musicianship.
  • Dr. Tweedy: "Baldy, stop beating your head against the wall. My bassoon playing isn't that bad." (01:12)
• Musical Soiree: Ms. Kitty Bell and friends, including the flamboyant Mrs. Apopolis and Colonel Jackson, arrive to rehearse for the "Tweedy Chamber Music Society."
  • Running gags about mint juleps and out-of-tune instruments abound.
  • Dr. Tweedy (about the oversized julep glass): "One of those—you don't have to hunt for a lamp post. Just lean against the glass." (02:41)
  • Instruments are humorously maligned: "The wind from your cornet is tarnishing my bassoon. Would you mind blowing the other way?" (04:37)
• Results: The musical chaos ends with Baldy the dog escaping, and the neighbors (and listeners) relieved that rehearsal is over.

The Basketball Team’s Secret Weapon (07:14 - 10:12)

• Mr. Potts’ Dilemma: Mr. Potts, the hard-nosed chairman, introduces a new ringer for the basketball team: Dribble Jones, a towering 7’2” war veteran.
  • Mr. Potts: "This afternoon he enrolled here. Tomorrow night, Bullfinch will get a big surprise." (08:17)
• Task Assigned: Dr. Tweedy is asked to safeguard Dribble Jones before the big game.
  • Mr. Potts: "We can’t win without him." (09:10)
• Physical Comedy: Tweedy attempts to dribble a basketball, resulting in slapstick mishaps—bouncing the ball with his face and ending up atop Dribble’s shoulders to retrieve a lost ball from a neighbor’s window box.

Late-Night Trophy Hijinks (14:07 - 17:43)

• Recap of Night Antics: Welby Skinkle recounts the night’s farce: Dr. Tweedy nearly gets dragged through a neighbor’s window while trying to rescue a basketball, and Colonel Jackson draws dueling pistols—believing there’s a romantic intrusion.
• Suspicions Arise: With the big game approaching, Potts is worried the rival Bullfinch team will steal the athletic trophies, as happened previously.
  • Tweedy and Welby are assigned to guard the trophies, leading to a mock battle using baseball bats for “self-defense.”
  • They repeatedly bonk each other on the head in their zealous practice, leading to further slapstick results.
  • Welby (after being hit): "Do you hear that little bird singing? Well, be, I'm a nature lover. I'm crazy about birds." (17:49)

The Filbert the Gopher Fiasco & Trophy Mix-Up (18:59 - 25:13)

• Domestic Comedy: Tweedy comes home to find Kitty Bell and Sydney in the dark, leading to a charming misunderstanding involving rudimentary excuses ("We wanted to see the time on my radium dial wristwatch" – 19:24).
• Trophy Transfer Plan: Concerned the athletic trophies might be stolen, Tweedy hatches a plan to store them in his garage.
  • Dr. Tweedy: "I want you to go over to the administration building, get the athletic trophies and bring them here. I want to be sure nobody steals them." (21:25)
• The Gopher’s Antics: Filbert, the school’s mascot gopher, bites everyone and then gets accidentally locked in a box of basketballs, foreshadowing more chaos.

Game Day Climax & Mix-Ups (22:05 - 25:13)

• Pep Rally: The team and students gear up with cheers for Dribble Jones and admire Filbert’s tiny mascot uniform.
• Trophy and Basketball Confusion: A comedy of errors as Dribble retrieves the trophies, but neither the guards (Welby and Timothy) nor Dr. Tweedy realize their crossed wires.
• Gopher Escapade: The basketballs for the game are in the box with the biting gopher, causing panic.
  • Ms. Kitty Bell: “He bites.” (24:53)
• Happy Resolution: Mrs. Apopolis returns the missing basketball found in her flower box, saving the day just in time for the game’s start.
  • Dr. Tweedy (to Mrs. Apopolis): "Oh, Mrs. APIs, I could kiss you." (25:07)

Memorable Ending & Moral (28:11 - 28:23)

• Frank Morgan’s Thought for the Week:
  • Dr. Tweedy/Frank Morgan: "No horse can go as fast as the money you bet on them... Bulls and bears aren't responsible for nearly as many stock losses as bum steers." (28:21)
• Signoff: With a characteristic blend of wit and morality, Dr. Tweedy bids the listeners good night.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mint Julep Glasses:
  • "One of those—you don't have to hunt for a lamp post. You just lean against the glass." – Dr. Tweedy (02:41)
• Musical Catastrophe:
  • "The wind from your cornet is tarnishing my bassoon. Would you mind blowing the other way?" – Dr. Tweedy (04:37)
• Basketball Antics:
  • "That's pretty tricky dribbling. I never saw anybody bouncing with his face before." – Mr. Potts (10:01)
• Guarding Trophies with Baseball Bats:
  • "Now it's my turn, Timothy. Here, hold your head still." – Dr. Tweedy (17:43)
• Farcical Romance:
  • "Don't make excuses, Tweedle. Did you wishy. I love it. Just like Romeo and Juliet. You're killing yourself on my balcony. What are you standing on?" – Mrs. Apopolis (11:14)
• Thought for the Week:
  • "Bulls and bears aren't responsible for nearly as many stock losses as bum steers." – Dr. Tweedy/Frank Morgan (28:21)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• [01:12] Tweedy’s bassoon practice and animal commentary
• [02:41] Mint julep glass exaggeration and group music scene
• [08:17] Introduction of Dribble Jones, basketball ringer
• [14:25] Retelling of chaotic night: Tweedy stuck in window box
• [16:05] Potts and Welby guard the trophies—baseball bat comedy
• [19:24] Radium watch in the dark and romantic misunderstanding
• [21:25] Tweedy directs Dribble to move trophies
• [22:47] Filbert the gopher in his mascot uniform
• [24:53] Gopher in the box of basketballs; the gopher bites
• [25:07] Mrs. Apopolis returns the missing basketball, resolving the crisis
• [28:21] Frank Morgan’s Thought for the Week

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Conclusion

“The Athletic Trophies” exemplifies the clever writing and physical comedy of classic radio. With Dr. Tweedy at the center, surrounded by a cast of eccentric faculty and students, the episode delivers farce and high-energy antics around preparations for an all-important basketball game, absurd musical rehearsals, and slapstick asides involving a tenacious gopher. The signature blend of old-timey banter, running gags, witty social commentary, and comedic misunderstanding offers a nostalgic and wholesome entertainment experience true to the golden age of radio.

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Perfect for listeners who love cozy, chaotic comedy with clever wordplay and a generous serving of nostalgic charm.

Transcript

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[Ms. Kitty Bell]

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[Mr. Potts]

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[Mr. Potts]

The fabulous Dr. Tweety written by Robert Riley Crutcher with Harry Bonzel and starring Frank Morgas. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy, Doctor of Philosophy and Dean of Men at Potts College, is a devotee of the bassoon. It is a musical instrument which is extremely difficult to play. Dr. Tweety's Old English sheepdog, Baldy, wishes it were impossible.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Baldy, stop beating your head against the wall. My bassoon playing isn't that bad. And stop sneering. You look almost human. Now, you sit here beside my chair and I'll play you some beautiful music. Now listen, Baldy. The baldy.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

You're singing.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, Baldy, you can sing. You're a singing dog. Let's try shortening bread.

[Mr. Potts]

Who's Nelson?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

And I can see it now. The Metropolitan Opera Company presents Caruso Baldi. With all that hair, you'll be perfect for the Barber of Seville. Why, Ms. Kitty Bell and Colonel Jackson, won't you come in?

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Thank you. Dr. Tweety. My brother Beauregard and I are so excited about your marvelous idea for forming.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

A little old musical group.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

But we were talking about it while Beauregard was having his Miss Julep. He's had only one. He's turning over a new leaf.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

I know. A mint leaf.

[Mr. Potts]

Dr. Tweedy, Sam purchased a new set of mint julep glasses. They're two feet tall.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

My, my, my. One of those. You don't have to hunt for a lamp post. You just lean against the glass.

[Mr. Potts]

A delightful drink, sir. While making it, you drop in a mint leaf every six inches. Oh, and when the two foot glass is full of that delectable fluid, you dust just the thickness suggestion of powdered.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Sugar over the tub. Oh, dear.

[Mr. Potts]

And then when you drink it down, you know you're really living.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yeah, and everyone else thinks you're dead.

[Mr. Potts]

Well, that's the nicest way I can think of to go. And if I go, I can take it with me.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Dr. Sweetie, it's going to Be so much fun having these little musical evenings. I just love classical music. My favorite composers are Rachmanov, Prokoky, Akowsky, Rimsky, Kostiko, Shostakovich, Stravinsky, Mysorgsky and Hoagie Carmichael. What are you going to call your.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Little old musical group? The Tweedy Chamber Music Society. Now, let's bring in Miss Kitty Bell's harp from the porch. Mrs. Apopolis will be here any minute with her flute.

[Mr. Potts]

My, it's dark out here.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes, my porch light is burned out. Yes. Look out, Colonel, the harp. Your nose. You're Yuki.

[Mr. Potts]

Well, the harp's out of tune, but my nose is a perfect seashore.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Now, Dr. Tweety, if you'll sound your A, Beauregard will tune up his silver cornet.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Great.

[Mr. Potts]

Start that mint julep. I shouldn't have drunk the last four inches.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes, well, Colonel, the wind from your cornet is tarnishing my bassoon. Would you mind blowing the other way? Now, let's tune up. One, two, three.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Hold everything you know. Here's a populace with her hot flute. Let's jam up the joint.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Damn the joint. Well, certainly.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Thrill, my sweetle I love the toodle, my floodle.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes, well, notice how much my bassoon playing has improved in the last few weeks.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Little cutest dumpling with a sweet bastion you've got. That's gorgeous.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, I haven't started playing yet. My finger got caught in the valve. Now, Mrs. Apopolis, sound your a. I'm.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

All pocketed up and ready to let fly. Stand back, sweet, or you'll get a shower bath.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, dear.

[Mr. Potts]

Mrs.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

The poplars. I'm afraid you're flat.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Now, wait a minute. Hard not to so fast. Paish has got perfect fit.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes, of course you have. And you have a delightful tremolo. Well, too.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Keep talking. I love it.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Mr. Poplas, did you notice that you have several full notes here?

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Notes for you, too. Let's play.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, it's.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Good night, doctor.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Good night, Dr. Tweedy. Good night, everybody. Well, the first rehearsal of the Tweedy Chamber Music Society has come to an end.

[Mr. Potts]

Thank heavens.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, Welby, I didn't see you standing there. Where's Baldy?

[Mr. Potts]

Out in the backyard. He dug a hole and buried his head in it.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

How is he? Breathing, Doc.

[Mr. Potts]

If I knew that, I'd have buried my head too.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, dear. Poor Baldy. I'll have to get him some ear muffs like you're wearing.

[Mr. Potts]

Oh, Doc, I. I come in to tell you Mr. Potts is at the back door.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, well, thank You. Well, I'll go see what he wants. Good evening, Mr. Potts.

[Mr. Potts]

Tweety, I came to see you because I have a big problem on my hands.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

How is Mrs. Potts?

[Mr. Potts]

Who cares?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, I don't know. I just.

[Mr. Potts]

This is a new problem. Yes, sweetie. It's my duty as chairman of the board of Trustees to see to it that we have a good basketball team.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes.

[Mr. Potts]

Three weeks ago, we suffered a very humiliating defeat at the hands of Bullfinch.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

But our boys put up a great fight. Once they even got the ball. I thought it was a moral victory. We held them down to 85 points. Nothing.

[Mr. Potts]

This morning the army discharged one of the finest basketball players in the country. This afternoon he enrolled here. Tomorrow night, Bullfinch will get a big surprise.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

They will? Yes.

[Mr. Potts]

Dribble. Oh, Dribble, come over here.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

I. Oh, no. That's the biggest surprise I've ever seen.

[Mr. Potts]

What is?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

I mean, who is it?

[Mr. Potts]

Tweety, this is Dribble Jones. He stands 7ft 2 inches in his stocking feet. And when he plays, he wears built up tennis shoes. Dribble, this is Dr. Tweedy. Where?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Here I am. Down here.

[Mr. Potts]

Oh, down there. Hi, Dr. Sidi, I've been.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

It's Tweety. Thaddeus Q. Ph.D. dean of Men.

[Mr. Potts]

Tweety, I want Dribble to stay here with you until the game tomorrow night.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes.

[Mr. Potts]

Take good care of him. And see to it that nothing happens to Dribble.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

No.

[Mr. Potts]

We can't win without him.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Don't you worry, Mr. Potts. I'll take care of everything. He can double up with Sydney in his. He'll have to double up. Nothing is going to happen to Dribble.

[Mr. Potts]

Well, if anything does happen to him, you'll have me to face.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, what a horrible thought.

[Mr. Potts]

Yes, well, keep it in mind, Tweety. Good night.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Good night, rebel. Good night.

[Mr. Potts]

Don't worry about the game, Mr. Potts. It's in the bag. Yeah. There'll be good news tomorrow night. Yes.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, good night. Where's your luggage, Dribble?

[Mr. Potts]

Well, I've got this basketball. I'm a dribbling fool.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Hey, that looks like fun. Let me try bouncing it.

[Mr. Potts]

Sure. Here's the ball, Dr. Petey.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yeah. The name is Tweety. Is this the way you do it? Ow.

[Mr. Potts]

Hey, that's pretty tricky dribbling. I never saw anybody bouncing with his face before.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, I didn't mean to. Now, we'll pretend the front of the garage there is the basket. Now, just watch me sink this shot.

[Mr. Potts]

Dribble.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

The garage Moved. Where'd the ball go?

[Mr. Potts]

It's over there. Second story window box next door.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, I could ring the doorbell and tell Mrs. Populous there's a basketball in her flower box. Oh, no. I guess it's late. Boost me up, Ribble. Ouch.

[Mr. Potts]

Dr. Gidi, you're standing on my ears.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll step down to your shoulders. Here's the basketball nestled in the dead petunias.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Sweetle. My Sweetle. A second story man.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

No, I don't.

[Mr. Potts]

We've not.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Good even.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Good evening, Mrs.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

The Populous. I thought you were in bed.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Romantic. Chasing at each other through the dead petunias.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

It's a bit embarrassing. You see, I was looking for a basketball, believe it or not.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Don't make excuses, Tweedle. Did you wishy. I love it. Just like Romeo and Juliet. You're killing yourself on my balcony. What are you standing on?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

A tall friend of short acquaintance.

[Mr. Potts]

I'm coming, Mr. Depopulation.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Oh, Sweetle. I heard some noises and called. Colonel Jackson. I didn't know it was you out there. Oh, how sad. You're looking at an unhappy Greek.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

You're lucky you're looking.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Oh, he's coming with dueling pistols to save me.

[Mr. Potts]

Dr. Wheatie.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, dribble, don't run away.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Don't leave me hanging here.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, I'm hanging here.

[Mr. Potts]

Don't worry, Mr. Populace. I'll kill all four of those men hanging from your window.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Four men? Oh, no. He's had another two Footman jeweler balls of fire. Before. Thank Martin. Continues. Here is. Sam. Ram. Sam.

[Mr. Potts]

And now back to Frank Morgan as the fabulous Dr. Tweedy. Last night things were pretty much up in the air, including Dr. Tweedy. Today, Dr. Tweedy's making Welby. Skinkle is telling his very dear friend.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

The houseboy at the Phi Beta quota.

[Mr. Potts]

Fraternity house, all about it. Boy, Timothy, I want to tell you about last night. As soon as I finished the ironing, I rushed right over here to the maternity house. Sit down, Welby, and tell me all the juicy details. Okay, but I can only stay a minute. There was more. Hey, what are you doing with them long needles? I'm knitting myself a sweater so I'll be warm and cozy when we go out to play in the snow. Yeah, well, you got the perfect shape for a sweater. Well, let me tell you about last night. I hear someone yelling. I rushes out and there was the dock hanging from Mrs. Apopolis window box on the second floor. Oh, heavens to Betsy. Go on. Well, Colonel, Colonel Jackson is shooting off his dueling pistols. And the doc was scared stiff.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, mercy.

[Mr. Potts]

I'd be scared too. Well, he wasn't scared of the colonel. That Mrs. Apopolis was trying to drag him in the window.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, nuts.

[Mr. Potts]

I got so excited I dropped the stitch. I didn't hear nothing. Well, I dropped it. But that's enough of this gossip. We got work to do. Mr. Potts wants you and me to guard the athletic trophies and the administration building. He's afraid the bullfinches will swipe him before the big game tonight. Oh, yeah, I remember. Like they done three weeks ago.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Ah.

[Mr. Potts]

Well, let's get going. I got my wheelbarrow parked in front of a fire plug. I don't want to get no ticket. Well, be we can stop for some refreshments on the way. Yeah, it's cold out. I can use a slug of antifreeze. You know something? I found an old Pierce arrow. No.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yeah.

[Mr. Potts]

Nobody has drained the antifreeze out of that radiator since 1926.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, boy.

[Mr. Potts]

Vintage stuff.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yeah.

[Mr. Potts]

Where's the pliers and Dixie cup? And here you are, Welby. And just in case those bull pinchers try to steal any trophies tonight, here's our baseball bat. Oh, boy. Give me that bat. Let me show you what I do to one of them guys. Here. Turn your head a little bit. Don't move. That's right. That's it. Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and hit me on the head. I just. Oh, nuts. Timothy, I just bopped you. Now it's my turn to pretend I'm defending the trophies. And the first one that yells out is a sissy. Stick out your hand. Well, look at me bound. It must be them rubber heels I'm wearing. Now it's my turn, Timothy. Here, hold your head still.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Now.

[Mr. Potts]

Do you hear that little bird singing? Well, be I'm a nature lover. I'm crazy about birds. Boys, I'm getting a little headache. Must have been something I ate. But I don't hear no boy. Turn your head a little bit more and you will. Oh, Timothy, now that's beautiful. Can you see the boys now? I see nothing but stars. Let's practice defending the trophy some more. Yeah, okay. I love them, boys.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Good old Baldy always sitting at the front door waiting for me to come home. What have you been doing? Oh, yes. Well, it's late and Sydney isn't home yet. I'd better turn on the lights in the living room. Dr. Tweety, look, Mary and Sydney. I'm sorry. Sydney, your nose is bleeding. Oh, no, it's lipstick. What are you two doing sitting in the dark?

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Well, you see, Dr. Tweety, I got this wristwatch for Christmas. It has a radium dial. You can see in the dark. And Sydney and I wanted to see what time it was.

[Mr. Potts]

Oh.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, what time is it? Gee. Where's Dr. Tweedy?

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

We were talking.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, I didn't hear anything. I must have come in during a lull in the conversation.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

What we were talking about was a couple of weeks ago, the kids from Bolton Shoe saw our athletic trophies and we're afraid they'll try it again tonight.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

I remember how mad that made Mr. Potts the last time. Why don't you two go get them and bring them here for safekeeping? Gee, Dr. Tweedy, aren't Mary's lips beautiful?

[Mr. Potts]

Yeah.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Would you mind turning off the lights on your way out, Dr. Tweedy? Oh, yes. Would you mind turning off the lights on your way out, Dr. Tweedy? We only have an hour before the day basketball game starts.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes, I understand. You have so much to talk over. I'll get Dribble to bring the trophies over here. Dribble, is that you out there in the garage?

[Mr. Potts]

Yes, Dr. Petey. Well, what are you doing with the little gopher? You know, the. The school mascot?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, that's little Filbert the gopher. How are you tonight? You like being out of your cage, don't you, Filber? Is he a cute little rascal? Come here, Velvet. Ow.

[Mr. Potts]

He bits her.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

I know it. He always bites. Oh, look. Now he's sorry. He's licking the wound.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Ow.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

He bit me again.

[Mr. Potts]

Let me hold him.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yeah, but keep him away from your basketball. He might chew it. He might bite the. He bit it. Oh, dear. Where's Philber? Oh, there you are. Blew you right back in your cage. That'll teach you to keep your big buck teeth out of basketball. Basketball game, athletic trophies. Dribble, I want you to go over to the administration building, get the athletic trophies and bring them here. I want to be sure nobody steals them.

[Mr. Potts]

But what if somebody thinks I'm stealing them? I'm new around here.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, there won't be anyone guarding those athletic trophies. That's why I want to lock them up in my garage. Just be very careful and don't get into any trouble. We need you to win that basketball game.

[Mr. Potts]

Those trophies are as good as in the garage right now, Dr. Needy.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Good. And I'm not needy. I'm seedy.

[Mr. Potts]

I mean, I'm seedy.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Now, me shoot the game. All right, gang.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

We'll show Those little fingers. Who's going to win this basketball game? Start off with a pot. Sky rocket. He isn't here yet. But how about a cure for our new center? Dribble Jones.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yay. Dribble, Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Hey, Mr. Potts.

[Mr. Potts]

Yes, Sidney?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Take a look at our mascot, Filbert the Gopher in his new uniform.

[Mr. Potts]

Yellow jersey and purple trunks with a.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Hole for the tail. And little tiny tennis shoes.

[Mr. Potts]

Take him away. Have you seen Dr. Tweedy?

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Sure, Mr. Potts.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

There he is, coming in on the.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Other side of the gym. Dr. Tweedy. Dr. Tweedy. Yes. Did you hear that, Ms. Potts? They cheered me when I came in.

[Mr. Potts]

Are you sure it wasn't the Bullfinch cheering sections? We did.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

What a thrill, Mr. Potts. Tonight we win our first basketball game. At last, Potts triumphant.

[Mr. Potts]

Oh, yes. This is a great day for Potts. And a personal triumph for me.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

That's right.

[Mr. Potts]

I was shrewd enough to enroll Dribble Jones. And tonight those Bullfinch kids won't steal our athletic trophies again.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

No. I've seen to that.

[Mr. Potts]

No, I've seen to that.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Yes.

[Mr. Potts]

I ordered Welby and Timothy to stand guard over them. And you know what they do to.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Anyone who tried to take them.

[Mr. Potts]

They've each got a baseball bat.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

They have. They've each got a baseball bat. And I sent Dribble Jones that. Oh, no, Quee, you didn't. Yes, you'd be surprised. I did.

[Mr. Potts]

My brand new tall center. After they get through with him with those baseball bats, he'll be a foot shorter.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Excuse me, Dr. Tweety, will you hold Filbert?

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

I have to help Mary lead the next chair.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, dear. What'll I do with him? Here, here, Filbert, get into this big wooden box.

[Mr. Potts]

Tweety, this is too much. I can't stand anymore.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Well, sit down, Mr. Potts. Here comes Dribble now. And he's as tall as he was before.

[Mr. Potts]

Hi, Dr. C.D. those trophies are safe in your garage. And I'm sorry I'm a little late because I stopped to watch a couple of guys standing beside the trophies beating each other over the head with baseball bag and talking about birds.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, dear. Welby and Timothy play so rough they.

[Mr. Potts]

Didn'T even see me taking the trophy. Never mind, sweetie. Give Dribble a ball and let's start the game.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Certainly, Mr. Potts. Nothing can happen now to stop this game. Where are the basketballs?

[Mr. Potts]

They're all in that box right there.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

In there. In that box. Well, we'll take one out and in that big wooden box. Yes, but I put Philber the gopher in there.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

He bites.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Basketball. Oh, no. Oh, no. I've done it again. This is Apopus. You brought it.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Yes, your basketball. You left it in my flower box last night.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, Mrs. APIs, I could kiss you.

[Ms. Kitty Bell]

Well, let's have it. Sw. My sw.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Oh, no. Thanks, Morgan. We'll be back in just a minute.

[Mr. Potts]

Frank Morgan appears by arrangement with Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of the Technicolor musical.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

Till the Clouds Roll By.

[Mr. Potts]

Here again is Frank Morgan with his thought for the week.

[Dr. Thaddeus Q. Tweedy]

My topic for today is horses. Fast horses, that is. But no horse can go as fast as the money you bet on on them. Which brings me to my thought for the week. Bulls and bears aren't responsible for nearly as many stock losses as bum steers. Oh, dear. Good night. The Frank Morgan show came to you from Hollywood. Wood. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.