The Fat Man 51-01-17 (253) The Nightmare Murder

Summary

Detailed Summary of "The Nightmare Murder"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: The Fat Man 51-01-17 (253) - The Nightmare Murder
• Release Date: July 25, 2025
• Description: Experience thrilling radio shows from the Golden Age of Radio, encapsulating the essence of a time before television when families gathered around the radio to enjoy iconic programs like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and many more.

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Introduction

The Nightmare Murder is a classic radio drama that immerses listeners in a suspenseful mystery involving deception, hallucinations, and hidden motives. Centered around the enigmatic character George Dutton and the inquisitive Brad Runyon, the episode masterfully blends dialogue and soundscapes to unravel a complex narrative that keeps the audience engaged from start to finish.

Plot Overview

The story unfolds with George Dutton, a seemingly ordinary man who reaches out to Brad Runyon, claiming responsibility for a murder he allegedly committed. As Brad delves deeper into George's confession, he uncovers a tangled web of lies, deceit, and family secrets that challenge his perception of reality and truth.

Detailed Breakdown

1. George's Confession ([03:04] - [04:10])

George Dutton contacts Brad Runyon, asserting that he killed a woman named Lydia Bradshaw. Despite lacking concrete evidence, George's earnest plea compels Brad to investigate the veracity of his claim.

• Notable Quote:
  • George Dutton ([03:04]): "I killed a girl last night. I want you to prove it."

2. Initial Investigation ([05:00] - [07:00])

Brad visits George at Melville Hospital's alcoholic ward, where George recounts the events of the previous night. According to George, he encountered a stunning blonde woman who led him into a disoriented state, culminating in a gunshot.

• Key Points:
  • George describes a surreal encounter involving alcohol and mysterious occurrences.
  • He mentions a significant symbol: a "big red rooster" flickering under neon lights, adding to the enigmatic atmosphere.

3. Uncovering Inconsistencies ([08:14] - [12:23])

Brad scrutinizes George's alibi by interviewing the janitor and bartender from his apartment building. Suspicious gaps in George's account, such as his presence in bed while he claimed to have been out, raise doubts about his sanity and the truthfulness of his confession.

• Notable Quote:
  • Brad Runyon ([08:36]): "What happened last time? Oh, same thing. Couple of years ago. Only that night he got out of bed and trapped Adolf Hitler in the information booth at Grand Central."

4. Linking Lydia Bradshaw ([15:00] - [21:17])

Brad discovers that the black Buick convertible mentioned by George was registered to Lydia Bradshaw, a Park Avenue debutante. This connection deepens the mystery, suggesting a possible link between George and Lydia.

• Key Points:

  • Lydia's involvement introduces potential motives related to family and financial affairs.
  • Brad learns about Lydia's past relationship with Greg Stanhope, who tragically committed suicide.

• Notable Quote:

  • Brad Runyon ([15:22]): "So that tied it up. I refunded him 50 bucks at the hundred he gave me, recommended a good psychiatrist and took off."

5. Confrontation and Revelation ([26:00] - [27:38])

In a climactic confrontation at Lydia Bradshaw's apartment, Brad pieces together the truth: Lydia's death was a suicide orchestrated by her guardian, Uncle Charles, to cover up embezzlement. George's hallucinations and false confession were manipulated by family members to divert suspicion.

• Key Points:

  • Joan Cameron, Lydia's cousin, plays a crucial role in unveiling the family's dark secrets.
  • The "real McCoy" symbolizes the uncovering of authentic motives behind the facade of George's claims.

• Notable Quote:

  • Brad Runyon ([26:19]): "The McCoy company puts out a good bottle, too. No slow lanes here."

6. Resolution ([27:19] - [28:23])

Brad successfully exposes Uncle Charles's illicit activities, clearing George's name and restoring equilibrium. The episode concludes with reflections on the complexities of human behavior and the lengths to which individuals will go to protect their interests.

• Notable Quote:
  • Brad Runyon ([27:38]): "Listen next week to another exciting adventure of the Fat Man. G Note for murder."

Character Insights

• George Dutton:

  • Initially appears as a troubled individual grappling with guilt.
  • His hallucinations and confessions serve as a red herring, diverting attention from the actual perpetrator.

• Brad Runyon:

  • Portrayed as a discerning investigator who meticulously unravels the layers of deception.
  • His skepticism and determination are pivotal in uncovering the truth.

• Joan Cameron:

  • Lydia Bradshaw's cousin who provides critical information that leads to the resolution of the mystery.
  • Represents the family's efforts to maintain their facade amidst internal turmoil.

• Uncle Charles:

  • The true antagonist, whose actions drive the central conflict.
  • His embezzlement and subsequent cover-up underscore themes of greed and moral corruption.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• George Dutton ([03:04]):

  • "I killed a girl last night. I want you to prove it."

• Brad Runyon ([08:36]):

  • "What happened last time? Oh, same thing. Couple of years ago. Only that night he got out of bed and trapped Adolf Hitler in the information booth at Grand Central."

• Brad Runyon ([15:22]):

  • "So that tied it up. I refunded him 50 bucks at the hundred he gave me, recommended a good psychiatrist and took off."

• Brad Runyon ([26:19]):

  • "The McCoy company puts out a good bottle, too. No slow lanes here."

• Brad Runyon ([27:38]):

  • "Listen next week to another exciting adventure of the Fat Man. G Note for murder."

Conclusion

The Nightmare Murder intricately weaves a tale of suspicion, psychological turmoil, and familial deceit. Through the interplay of its characters and a carefully constructed plot, the episode highlights the peril of assumptions and the importance of diligent investigation. Brad Runyon's quest for truth not only exonerates George Dutton but also exposes the underlying greed that fueled the night's tragic events. This episode stands as a testament to the timeless appeal of classic radio dramas, offering listeners a captivating blend of suspense and revelation.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[George Dutton]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Here comes the fat man in the nightmare murder Starring J. Scott Smart.

[Joan Cameron]

There he goes. He's stepping on the scales. Weight 237 pounds. Fortune danger. Who is it?

[Brad Runyon]

The fat man. It takes a good man to make a first class old fashioned. You have to muddle the sugar, bitters and water properly. Then toss in the ice and whiskey. And then carefully twist the lemon peel on top. Like anything else, it's simply a matter of following the recipe. But here's another illustration. If you take a liberal jigger of motive, add a slice of opportunity and a dash of means, and then pile a dozen or more old fashions on top of this, you're quite likely to end up with a real gruesome hangover murder. Like any solid, normal, routine job, this one began in my office. It was just after lunch. My feet were on the desk. I was munching a peppermint. I'd popped the latest edition just south of the bulge that marked the last resting place of a brace of breaded pork chops when the phone rang. Runyon speaking.

[George Dutton]

The detective?

[Brad Runyon]

That's the debatable point. But I like to think so. Who's this?

[George Dutton]

My name's George Dutton. Maybe you've heard of me.

[Brad Runyon]

Oh, you mean the author.

[George Dutton]

Well, that's a debatable point, too. I write mystery stories.

[Brad Runyon]

Yes, I know about private eyes who get hit on the head.

[George Dutton]

Look, I've never had any need for a private eye. I don't even know what one looks like. I never even saw a pistol or a gangster or a corpse. Until last night. A corpse, that is.

[Brad Runyon]

Wait. Just wait a minute. Let's take this in secret. Are you hiring me?

[George Dutton]

Maybe. How much?

[Brad Runyon]

50 in expenses.

[George Dutton]

Well, that's a lot. But I need you pretty badly.

[Brad Runyon]

What's the trouble?

[George Dutton]

I. I killed a girl last night. I want you to prove it.

[Brad Runyon]

Say that again. And slow.

[George Dutton]

You better come down here right away.

[Brad Runyon]

Where are you?

[George Dutton]

Melville Hospital. Alcoholic ward.

[Brad Runyon]

The closest I'D ever been to the alcoholic ward at Melville, was reading the Lost Weekend. After I convinced them I wasn't a prospective client, they gave me some of the dope on George Dutton. Their assumption was his writer's imagination had picked up an Italian collaborator during the period in question. Namely a batch of martinis.

[George Dutton]

Runyon.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah. What can I do for you, George?

[George Dutton]

Sit down on the bed. Don't. Take it easy, will you? My head.

[Brad Runyon]

I know what you mean. Is that better?

[George Dutton]

Yeah. Now, look, you're gonna think I'm crazy like the rest of them, but I'm not paying you for an opinion. Here. Here's two days worth. 100 bucks.

[Brad Runyon]

Thanks. Now, for this. I'm supposed to hang a murder app on you, huh? Or did I hear it right over the phone?

[George Dutton]

You did. At least I'll know, Runyon. If it happened, if I killed her, at least I'll know I'm not crazy. Anything's better than that kind of doubt, Runyon. Anything.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, take it easy, George. Just tell me about it, huh?

[George Dutton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Calm, collected, lucid, logical. Right? Yeah, yeah, okay. I've been working hard, see, trying to meet my publisher's deadline on the novel. I got tired last night around 7 and went to bed. Dead, wrung out, gone, you know? Now, this I'm sure of. Somewhere around 10 or 11 o', clock, I got up, put on my clothes and went out for a walk around the block. I just turned the corner when it happened.

[Brad Runyon]

Why?

[George Dutton]

I'd seen the car a lot in my neighborhood. Black Buick convertible. I'd seen the girl in it, too. Stunning girl. Blonde, eyes like sapphires. Figure like.

[Brad Runyon]

Well, yeah, I know what you mean. So what?

[George Dutton]

So she. So she pulled up to the curb and asked me to get in.

[Brad Runyon]

How come?

[George Dutton]

Well, Am I so horrible? She did it, that's all. Okay. Who was he? I don't know. I don't know anything about her. She handed me a bottle. And that's how it started.

[Brad Runyon]

Mistake number one.

[George Dutton]

You're so right. So anyway, we drove around for a while and I listened to her talk. And pretty soon the bottle was gone. So she pulled out another one and pretty soon that one was gone too.

[Brad Runyon]

What's she talking about?

[George Dutton]

Death.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[George Dutton]

It seemed perfectly normal at the time. She was fascinated by death. Wrote poems about it, she said. Quoted from them all the time. Anyway, things got pretty fuzzy about then. I don't remember much. People, voices, lights. One thing, though, Runya. One thing. There was a big red rooster about 10ft high.

[Brad Runyon]

Oh, yeah. Naturally, it wouldn't be an evening without one. What was he?

[George Dutton]

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. A sign run you A neon sign. I remember it blinking at me while she stopped by the trash can.

[Brad Runyon]

What trash can?

[George Dutton]

How do I know what trash can? A trash can. There was the Red Rooster and the trash can. And she stopped and took something out of her purse and dropped it in. There were more lights and more people and more riding in the car. And then pretty soon, we were alone. She was pouring drinks for the two of us.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, where was this?

[George Dutton]

I don't know. You got me. She handed me a glass. See? Erased hers. For a toast. To death, she said. And I saw she had a gun in her hand, pointing it at her head. I grabbed it, got a hold of it, but it went off.

[Brad Runyon]

Oh, great.

[George Dutton]

Last thing I remember was her lying on the floor. And then the floor was rushing up at me. Well, that's it.

[Brad Runyon]

What do you mean, that's it? What happened after that?

[George Dutton]

Nothing. When I opened my eyes, I was in my own bed, in my own apartment with my clothes right where I'd left them at seven the night before. The night man swears. I wasn't out of my room all night. Nobody believed me. They said I dreamed it. I had a couple more drinks, found the cop on the beat and told him too. That's how I got here. They all think I'm crazy. Well, maybe I am. Maybe I am. But go on, find out for me. Runyon. Get on it. Will you get on it.

[Brad Runyon]

So I got on it first. There was a janitor at George's apartment place.

[George Dutton]

Mr. Runyon, I benightman here for 12 years. I know George Dutton as long as he lives here. He couldn't leave this building last night without me seeing him. And I didn't see him. You can take my word, he's not.

[Brad Runyon]

Then there was the bartender George had mentioned. Look, all I know is he come in at an indecent hour this morning.

[George Dutton]

Screaming for the hair of the dog that bit him. Just like all the other times.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, especially the last time. What happened last time? Oh, same thing. Couple of years ago. Only that night he got out of bed and trapped Adolf Hitler in the information booth at Grand Central. The cop who'd hauled him over to Melville said the same thing. Likewise, a couple of news boys verdict unanimous. George was a lush and a loony, and I was inclined to go along with him on the theory that a special convertible, complete with blonde, is something even a New Yorker will stop and look at. I quizzed the Service stations around George's apartment house. Sure enough, up comes the guy who'd greased its gold plated chassis only a month before the record showed it belonged to Olivia Bradshaw at a Park Avenue address that went with the car. So I trotted over. Some kind of a soiree was going on in the huge living room. The butler looked at me, raised his eyebrows one at a time, and finally decided I wouldn't run off at the silver plate and hustle me into the library, which seemed to have another occupant.

[Joan Cameron]

As a spirit with yellow eyes gleaming Will I to thy courage Come again.

[Brad Runyon]

When you say that smile. What is it, this book?

[Joan Cameron]

Baudelaire. Lousy translation. By the way, I'm Joan Cameron, Lydia's poor country cousin. Who are you? One of Uncle Charles? Tribal sycophants?

[Brad Runyon]

Oh, I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think so. My name's Brad Runyon.

[Joan Cameron]

Oh.

[Brad Runyon]

Where is Lydia, by the way?

[Joan Cameron]

Out somewhere. You looking for?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah.

[Joan Cameron]

Well, you're just in time. She and Uncle Charles are going abroad. You know, sailing tonight.

[George Dutton]

Oh.

[Brad Runyon]

Who's Uncle Charles?

[Joan Cameron]

Lydia's guardian keeper to the keys to the Bradshaw exchequer.

[Brad Runyon]

That sounds important.

[Joan Cameron]

It is.

[Brad Runyon]

Oh, in the chips, huh?

[Joan Cameron]

Oh, no. He does have a pair of scissors to cut the coupons for Lydia, which, incidentally, is a full time job. And that concludes my dissertation on the Bradshaws. A morbid subject at best. Let's talk about you.

[Brad Runyon]

Sure, sweetheart. After we talk about a quick way I can get a hold of Uncle Charles.

[George Dutton]

I beg your pardon.

[Joan Cameron]

This friend is Uncle Charles.

[Brad Runyon]

Pretty quick. How do you do, Mr. Bellchar?

[George Dutton]

Ah, Mr. Runyon, isn't it? It is.

[Joan Cameron]

Now, if you'll excuse me.

[George Dutton]

Strange girl.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, Mr. Runyon, I've come on a peculiar errand. Miss Badger, when do you expect your niece Lydia to act? Oh, in an hour, perhaps 2.

[George Dutton]

5.

[Brad Runyon]

I wonder if she'd consider making a short visit to Melville Hospital. Melville? Good heavens. What for? A client of mine thinks he killed her last night.

[George Dutton]

Now, just a minute. What kind of nonsense is this?

[Brad Runyon]

I know it sounds crazy, but it isn't nonsense. His name's George Dutton and he's in the alcoholic ward. He fell off the wagon last night, but hard. He has seen your niece riding around her convertible. She impressed him. So instead of the usual pink elephants, he had some hallucination about taking a ride with her last night and killing her. We can't talk him out of it.

[George Dutton]

That's fantastic. What do you want Lydia to do about it?

[Brad Runyon]

Well, just Stop by the hospital and convince him he's wrong. That's all.

[George Dutton]

But don't you understand? We're sailing for Europe at midnight.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, look, this will only take her 10 minutes, and it may mean the man's sanity. Well, otherwise, he's liable to be running around to the police and the newspapers.

[George Dutton]

Well, I'll ask Lydia to drop by.

[Brad Runyon]

Good, then. Thanks. I'll be running along then. Sorry to trouble you, Mr. Bradshaw.

[George Dutton]

Well, what's the verdict? Run you. You think I'm nuts now, too, huh?

[Brad Runyon]

George, listen. Listen. Now, hold of yourself. This doesn't mean you're nuts. Could happen. Shut up.

[George Dutton]

Shut up. What was her name?

[Brad Runyon]

Lydia Bradshaw.

[George Dutton]

Bradshaw?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, and she's coming over here to see.

[George Dutton]

Now, listen, Runyon, you're working for me, see? You're not working for them. You're working.

[Brad Runyon]

Wait a minute, George.

[George Dutton]

You listen to me. I'm telling you, this happened. I was there. I wasn't in bed dreaming it. This dame is dead. Do you understand that?

[Brad Runyon]

Shut up over there.

[George Dutton]

I won't shut up. I'm telling you kids, you'll go off your rockers.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, look, Doc. Wait. Look, George, there's no use arguing about it. I talked to her uncle. The girl's coming here. That'll convince you, won't it?

[George Dutton]

She's not coming here because she's dead. She's dead. I held her with these two arms. I heard the gun go off. I felt her go limp in my.

[Joan Cameron]

Arms.

[George Dutton]

And my arms. Oh, no. No.

[Joan Cameron]

I'm sorry.

[George Dutton]

Who, George?

[Brad Runyon]

Dusty.

[George Dutton]

Right over there.

[Joan Cameron]

I'm Lydia Bradshaw.

[Brad Runyon]

Well, what about it, George?

[George Dutton]

You. You step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With Fish family, Canolis and Spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather. Slots. Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail]. welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. You're all right.

[Joan Cameron]

What do you mean? Mr. Duck.

[George Dutton]

Last night. Last night we were together. Don't you remember?

[Joan Cameron]

Why, no. Sorry, I don't. I don't remember ever seeing you before.

[George Dutton]

Go away. Go away.

[Brad Runyon]

Come on.

[Joan Cameron]

Isn't there anything I can do?

[George Dutton]

No.

[Brad Runyon]

You may as well go now.

[Joan Cameron]

But the poor man.

[George Dutton]

You heard what he said. Now, go on, get out of here. Get Out.

[Joan Cameron]

I'm terribly sorry.

[Brad Runyon]

Thanks very much, Ms. Bradshaw.

[Joan Cameron]

I do hope you'll be all right.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah.

[George Dutton]

Good night.

[Joan Cameron]

Good night.

[Brad Runyon]

Well, George, is that the girl?

[George Dutton]

Yeah, that's the girl.

[Brad Runyon]

So that tied it up. I refunded him 50 bucks at the hundred he gave me, recommended a good psychiatrist and took off. It was after my dinner time, so I walked toward the East 50s and little Italian restaurant that makes wonderful lasagna. Suddenly I found myself looking across the street at a bar on the opposite corner with a blazing red rooster in neon lights. Of course, he could have dreamed this too. In his heyday, he probably knew every pub in town. But the business of the trash can opposite the entrance, which was right where I said it was, was pretty accurate dreaming, even for a professional dreamer like George. For this reason, I decided to sacrifice my dignity. I sidled up to the trash can and began probing around.

[George Dutton]

It.

[Brad Runyon]

Was there a slim volume in black Morocco with gold lettering on the COVID reading Skyward Poems and Praise of Death by Lydia Bradshaw. I kicked myself for refunding that 50 bucks. I stood for a minute in the glow of the Red Rooster sign and thumbed through the book of poems. Then I went into the bar. Yes, sir?

[George Dutton]

What do you have?

[Brad Runyon]

Make it a beer. Any special kind? Well, how about a tall, cool glass.

[George Dutton]

Of McCoy's Pale Ale?

[Brad Runyon]

That sounds like a commercial.

[George Dutton]

It is.

[Brad Runyon]

See the sign up there?

[George Dutton]

Don't let them fool your brother. Reach for the real McCoy.

[Brad Runyon]

Okay, I'm sold. Raw one. Right. I cropped my real McCoy and skimmed through Lydia's Ode to the Dark angel tossing a morocco bound book into a trash can. It seemed a strange thing for a girl to do until you read the poetry, whereupon it became clearly the only thing to do. It was so awful I gave up trying to read it and concentrated on the funnest piece which, as with all privately printed works, was a picture of the author. Looking at it now, it seemed to me as if I'd seen Lydia Bradshaw somewhere before. Somewhere before she'd walked into George's room at the hospital. But I couldn't put my finger on it. How about another real McCoy? No, no, wait a minute. Don't go away. Yeah? Were you here last night? Sure. Why? Here, take a look at this picture. You ever seen any? Who is she? Name's Lydia Bradshaw. Was she in here last night? I don't know.

[George Dutton]

Maybe, but I don't remember seeing her.

[Brad Runyon]

She came in with the Amphitheater bunch.

[George Dutton]

I wouldn't remember anyway.

[Brad Runyon]

Marvin here. Four deep at the bar.

[Joan Cameron]

Why, Fred?

[Brad Runyon]

Huh? Oh, excuse me. I got.

[Joan Cameron]

Wait a minute, Frank. What do you mean you don't know Lydia?

[Brad Runyon]

Well, I didn't say that, Ms. Cameron.

[George Dutton]

I just.

[Brad Runyon]

Well, I mean, I didn't say I don't know her.

[George Dutton]

I only said I wouldn't remember if.

[Brad Runyon]

She was in here during rush hour last night. Excuse me.

[George Dutton]

I got a customer waiting.

[Joan Cameron]

Customer, my foot. The liar. Oh, please. Don't think I'm dogging your footsteps, Mr. Runman.

[Brad Runyon]

How do you happen to come here always? Do you say he knows your cousin, Lydia Bradshaw?

[Joan Cameron]

He ought to. She owns the place. Tell me, did you steal that book from the library?

[Brad Runyon]

No, no. I picked it out of the trash can outside.

[Joan Cameron]

What?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, Scout's on her.

[Joan Cameron]

But it's the only one she has left. She'd died before. She throw it away.

[Brad Runyon]

How about afterwards?

[Joan Cameron]

What do you mean?

[Brad Runyon]

No, just skip it. Here, look at this inscription on the flyers. To Greg. Someday I'll find you. What does she mean by that?

[Joan Cameron]

Greg Stanhope. She used to think she was in love with him. Maybe she was, I don't know. But Uncle Charles decided and broke it up. A fatal mistake, I might add.

[Brad Runyon]

Why fatal?

[Joan Cameron]

They found Greg the next day with a champagne glass in one hand and a gun in the other. He'd shot himself.

[Brad Runyon]

Hello, George. Yeah, this is running.

[George Dutton]

What are you wasting time on me for? Run you and I'm nuts, you know.

[Brad Runyon]

Now shut up. George. Take it easy. Ask me a couple of questions. Do you know anybody named Stanhope?

[George Dutton]

Greg Stanhope?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah.

[George Dutton]

No, I never heard of.

[Brad Runyon]

Uh.

[George Dutton]

Huh.

[Brad Runyon]

How did you happen to say Greg?

[George Dutton]

I don't know. It just popped into my head. Greg Stanhope. It goes together somehow. Greg. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I do know. Yeah, she was. She was talking about him last night. That's who she toasted when she raised her glass just before she.

[Brad Runyon]

Okay, okay. Now one more question, George. Did anyone see you leave the building last night?

[George Dutton]

Sure. The janitor.

[Brad Runyon]

Anyone else?

[George Dutton]

No.

[Brad Runyon]

Well, look, supposing it went like you said. Suppose someone picked you off the floor at the Bradshaw apartment and brought you home. Is there anyone who'd know exactly where to hang your clothes to straighten out the rest of your apartment besides you?

[George Dutton]

Sure, the janitor would. But he already told.

[Brad Runyon]

He's got a couple of sidelines. George, as a writer, this may come as a disappointment to you, but you aren't nuts.

[George Dutton]

Listen, Mr. Onion, get your foot out.

[Brad Runyon]

Of my daughter before. Take it easy, pal. I'm coming in.

[George Dutton]

I already told you all I know.

[Brad Runyon]

About George D. That I'm inclined to doubt. Now, sit down, pal. You've had a hard day pushing a broom and raking in cash.

[George Dutton]

The one I should call cop. There's a law against breaking into a guy's apartment.

[Brad Runyon]

There's also a law against criminal conspiracy.

[George Dutton]

I said I give it you this afternoon.

[Joan Cameron]

All of it.

[George Dutton]

Don't call me no criminal conspiracy because I'm janitor no criminal, see?

[Brad Runyon]

How much did Charles Bradshaw pay you to turn me? George wasn't out of his apartment last night.

[George Dutton]

I don't know nothing, I tell you. Now get out of here.

[Brad Runyon]

Now you come clean first. You saw George coming and going. You helped Bradshaw put him to bed last night.

[George Dutton]

No, I didn't. Honest, I didn't.

[Brad Runyon]

You better level with me, buster, before I knock.

[George Dutton]

Come near me.

[Brad Runyon]

Someone had fired through the window and nailed the janitor before I could make him talk. I rushed over, opened the window and hit the back alley in half a minute flat. But it was too late. The car roared off half a block away, and that was that. I walked back to where the killer must have stood trying to make sense out of nonsense. I'd run into my share of murders but this was the first time in my book that someone committed one to cover up another one someone else had confessed to. Now, if that sounds confusing, it's only because it was. A party was going on three floors up. It was nice to know someone was having a good time, because I wasn't. I leaned back against the wall and mopped my head. There had to be an answer somewhere and it was lucky I'd leaned back or I would have been brained. A bottle whistled down three floors and glanced off my shoulder and bounced into some soft rubbish in the alley. I picked it up, looked at the label and suddenly it hit me. It was an answer from out of the blue. Don't let them fool you, brother, it said. Reach for the real McCoy. I found a phone and called the hospital and left instructions for George. Then I hailed a cab and rushed over to Lydia Bradshaw's apartment. What time is it, Ms. Bradshaw? Yeah, yeah, Bradshaw.

[Joan Cameron]

It's almost 11. As I told you, Mr. Robert, Uncle Charles is extremely busy taking care of the baggage and won't have time to talk to you before we stay.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[George Dutton]

I know.

[Brad Runyon]

How come you forgot that trunk over there, Miss.

[Joan Cameron]

Bradshaw.

[Brad Runyon]

Bradshaw. I'm having a tough time with that name. What about that trunk?

[Joan Cameron]

It's full of his first editions for the vault while we're gone.

[Brad Runyon]

Now, let's see. Where was I?

[Joan Cameron]

Will you stop Reading that stupid book.

[Brad Runyon]

Stupid, stupid. Listen to this. Astride the cosmic threshold, I gaze back toward the old familiar lighted realm once more. Then resolute to turn my face the new way toward the wild, unlighted shore. Three guesses now. Byron Keats or Nick Kenny?

[Joan Cameron]

I don't know and I don't care.

[Brad Runyon]

You ought to know, baby. You wrote it.

[Joan Cameron]

What do you mean, Mr. Onion?

[Brad Runyon]

Poems in Praise of Death, by Lydia Bradshaw. This mean anything to you?

[Joan Cameron]

An empty beer bottle, isn't it?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah. Someone almost brained me with it tonight. McCoy's Pale Ale. Don't let him fool you, brother. Reach for the real McCoy. Still don't remember.

[Joan Cameron]

Should I?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah. Took me a while, but I did. I wondered why you looked familiar to me.

[Joan Cameron]

Me?

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah, you. Two girls, two pictures. One of these girls is Lydia Bradshaw, Park Avenue debutante. And the other is a professional model. Which one is the real McCoy? It was an ad in all the magazines three years ago.

[Joan Cameron]

You figured out which is which by now, I presume.

[Brad Runyon]

Yeah. Why did you play along with him?

[Joan Cameron]

Is there any harm in it?

[Brad Runyon]

Well, I can think of about six laws you're breaking. Not the least of which is criminal. Conspiracy.

[Joan Cameron]

Criminal? What are you.

[George Dutton]

Just a minute, Lydia. Stay where you are, both of you.

[Joan Cameron]

Well, my name's not Lydia. Let's stop the pretense.

[Brad Runyon]

Gonna make it a double header tonight, Uncle Charles. I may.

[Joan Cameron]

Double what?

[Brad Runyon]

Murder.

[Joan Cameron]

Murder?

[Brad Runyon]

What did you. Shut up.

[Joan Cameron]

Murder? I didn't know anything about this. All you said was she'd killed herself. And you wanted to avoid a scandal about suicide.

[Brad Runyon]

It was a scandal, all right, but not about suicide. Wasn't it, Uncle Charles?

[Joan Cameron]

But what was it?

[Brad Runyon]

When Lydia killed herself last night, it threw the whole estate into the hands of the executors. Opened the books to the accountants. How much had you embezzled, Uncle Charles? A couple hundred GS, maybe.

[George Dutton]

More than that, Runyon. But you're wrong on technicality.

[Joan Cameron]

It's not a scandal.

[George Dutton]

Not unless it gets out.

[Joan Cameron]

And it's not going to get out.

[George Dutton]

I killed once. They can't do any more to me. For two or three, you can.

[Brad Runyon]

You can't cover it that way, Bradshaw.

[Joan Cameron]

No. Watch me, Runyon.

[Brad Runyon]

Watch me.

[George Dutton]

Don't.

[Joan Cameron]

Mr. Bradshaw. No.

[George Dutton]

Hey, Runyon. Runyon. This is the place.

[Brad Runyon]

George, you're just in time.

[Joan Cameron]

You killed him.

[Brad Runyon]

No. But he's gonna have quite a headache. The McCoy company puts out a good bottle, too. Down. Put her on a sofa, George, while I call headquarters.

[George Dutton]

Lydia Bradshaw.

[Brad Runyon]

No. No. This is the reasonably accurate facsimile we'll find Lydia Bradshaw in that trunk over there.

[George Dutton]

Well, then I did kill her.

[Brad Runyon]

No. No, you didn't. She committed suicide. But her guardian didn't dare. Let it be known. Or he'd have been discovered as an embezzler.

[George Dutton]

What do you mean?

[Brad Runyon]

Skip it for now. I need a drink. How about you, Runyon?

[George Dutton]

If it's all the same to you, I'll take some sarsaparilla.

[Brad Runyon]

The Fat man, starring J. Scott Smart.

[George Dutton]

Was directed by Clark Andrews.

[Brad Runyon]

The script was written by Harold Swanton. Heard on tonight's show were Lyle Sudro as George Dutton.

[George Dutton]

And Gertrude Warner as Joan Cameron. The music was composed by Mark Winston.

[Brad Runyon]

Your announcer, Don Low. Listen next week to another exciting adventure of the Fat Man. G Note for murder.

[George Dutton]

This program came to you from New York. Bubba Wallace here from 2311, Racing. Funny thing about being fast. You end up waiting a lot.

[Brad Runyon]

First to show up, first in line, then just waiting. Me, I rev up.

[George Dutton]

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[Brad Runyon]

Why sit around when you can spin? I'm already racing. Your turn. Play for [e-mail].

[George Dutton]

Let'S Chumba.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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