The Great Gildersleeve 1946-12-25 - Christmas Caroling at Home

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: The Great Gildersleeve 1946-12-25 - Christmas Caroling at Home
Air Date: December 18, 2025 (Rebroadcast)
Original Broadcast Date: December 25, 1946
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic holiday entry of The Great Gildersleeve, one of America’s beloved radio sitcoms from the Golden Age of Radio. The story unfolds over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, centering around Gildersleeve’s attempts to foster community, tradition, and Christmas spirit at home. The program blends family warmth, small-town rumor, heartfelt moments, and ends on a note of joyful togetherness with Christmas caroling. The episode is filled with both comedy and sentiment, capturing the timeless charm of radio’s golden era.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Christmas Eve Preparations and Gildersleeve’s Optimism

[01:25] – [02:42]

• Gildersleeve is found at Peavey's Pharmacy, exuding Christmas cheer.

• He discusses the joy of Christmas, efficient shopping, and thorough gift preparation.

  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "Christmas comes but once a year, and it's a great old institution. Yes, sir. I'm for Christmas." (01:25)

• Peavey offers a gift wrapping kit, highlighting the excitement and attention to details in Christmas giving.

Community Gossip and the Bullards’ Marriage

[02:46] – [06:15]

• Gildersleeve casually invites neighbors to his caroling party.
• Rumors swirl about the Bullards’ marriage—misunderstandings escalate about a supposed separation.
  • Notable Quote (Floyd):
    "If I had a dollar for every time Lovey went home to her mother, I wouldn't have to be cutting hair." (04:20)
  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "Home with a guy like Bullard... of course, that's the sad part of it." (04:53)
• The narrative underscores how hearsay can quickly transform into assumed truths, especially around the holidays.

The Impact of Family Breakups on Children

[06:15] – [07:09]

• Eve Goodwin, a schoolteacher, offers a poignant reminder about who suffers most in marital disputes: the children.
  • Notable Quote (Eve Goodwin):
    "Broken homes are hardest on the children, Throckmorton. That's something we school teachers know very well." (06:28)

Christmas Traditions and Family Dynamics

[07:09] – [12:46]

• The family debates Christmas traditions—movie outings versus staying home for the annual reading of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.
  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "I've tried to establish a fine tradition for this household... evidently, my efforts have been fruitless." (08:03)
• Despite initial reluctance, the family reads the story together, leading to an emotional moment and appreciations of their togetherness.
  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "I hope you children realize how lucky you are to have a family. Even if it's only your old uncle." (12:06)

Extending Christmas Cheer to Others

[12:46] – [13:08]

• Gildersleeve proposes that the family share gifts with Craig Bullard, who appears to be alone that Christmas.
  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "Don't you think it would be nice if we all devoted ourselves to giving little Craig a nice Christmas tomorrow?" (12:44)

Christmas Morning: The Aftermath and Acts of Kindness

[16:42] – [17:46]

• Presents are opened, excitement fills the house, but concern lingers for Craig.
• Gildersleeve collects toys and gifts from his family and heads across the street dressed as Santa Claus to cheer up the forlorn Craig.

Santa’s Visit: Humor and Heart

[19:20] – [23:16]

• Gildersleeve meets resistance and misunderstanding from the governess, but eventually visits Craig, delivering gifts.

• The segment sparkles with comedic exchanges and mild exasperation, especially with Craig’s attitude.

  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "You listen to me, you spoil. Little brat." (22:48)

• The visit ends as Craig’s parents return—revealing that they were never estranged, just delayed.

Resolution: Community, Reunion & Caroling

[24:21] – [28:41]

• Neighbors gather at the Gildersleeve home.
• The Bullards join, clarifying the rumors: they were celebrating their 15th anniversary, not separating.
  • Notable Quote (Mrs. Bullard):
    "Separation? Do you know where we've been? On a second honeymoon, celebrating our 15th anniversary." (28:33)

Christmas Carols and Closing Warmth

[29:17] – [30:16]

• Birdie, the housekeeper, sings a traditional English carol, capping the holiday celebration.

  • Notable Quote (Gildersleeve):
    "Birdie here has an old English Christmas carol she sings every year at her church. Would you like to hear it?" (29:25)

• The show ends with exchanges of “Merry Christmas” as the family and friends celebrate together.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• "Christmas comes but once a year and it's a great old institution. Yes, sir. I'm for Christmas."
  —Throckmorton Gildersleeve [01:25]
• "If I had a dollar for every time Lovey went home to her mother, I wouldn't have to be cutting hair."
  —Floyd [04:20]
• "Broken homes are hardest on the children, Throckmorton. That's something we school teachers know very well."
  —Eve Goodwin [06:28]
• "I've tried to establish a fine tradition for this household... evidently, my efforts have been fruitless."
  —Gildersleeve [08:03]
• "I hope you children realize how lucky you are to have a family. Even if it's only your old uncle."
  —Gildersleeve [12:06]
• "Don't you think it would be nice if we all devoted ourselves to giving little Craig a nice Christmas tomorrow?"
  —Gildersleeve [12:44]
• "You listen to me, you spoil. Little brat."
  —Gildersleeve [22:48]
• "Separation? Do you know where we've been? On a second honeymoon, celebrating our 15th anniversary."
  —Mrs. Bullard [28:33]
• "Birdie here has an old English Christmas carol she sings every year at her church. Would you like to hear it?"
  —Gildersleeve [29:25]

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [01:25] Christmas spirit at Peavey's Pharmacy
• [03:02] – [06:15] Community gossip about the Bullards
• [07:09] – [12:46] Family Christmas traditions and reading A Christmas Carol
• [12:46] – [13:08] Plan to share Christmas with Craig Bullard
• [19:20] – [23:16] Gildersleeve’s Santa visit to Craig
• [24:21] – [28:41] Caroling party—culmination and resolution of misunderstandings
• [29:17] – [30:16] Birdie’s Christmas carol performance

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is warm, nostalgic, and lightly comedic, maintaining a spirit of good-natured banter and heartfelt reflection. It captures the uncertainties, joys, and communal bonds of holiday gatherings—reminding listeners of the real heart of Christmas: compassion, understanding, and togetherness. The classic radio atmosphere, alongside the lively family interactions and musical traditions, makes it a delightful holiday listening experience.

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For listeners:
You’ll enjoy the blend of humor and sentiment as Gildersleeve mismanages rumors, strives to maintain traditions, and ultimately weaves together his friends and family for a cheerful Christmas celebration in the best Golden Age radio fashion.

Transcript

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I want a new beginning for family on January 9th. The sequel to Greenland is so massive, you have to see it on the big screen. I promise. Who gives to Safety? Starring Gerard Butler and Marina Baccarin. Oh, my God.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Hang on.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Greenland 2 migration. Rated PG 13.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersley. It's the Great Gilder Sleeves, starring Harold Perry. Brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. In Summerfield. Through the magic of radio, it is still only Christmas Eve. Its citizens are scurrying about in a light snowfall like characters on a Christmas card. And there's a general air of kindliness, goodwill and anticipation of the morrow. We find the Great Gildersleeve, looking not too unlike Santa Claus himself, at the counter of Peavey's Pharmacy. In conversation with the proprietor.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I don't care what you say, Peevey. Christmas comes but once a year and it's a great old institution. Yes, sir, I'm for Christmas.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Me too, Mr. Galvanis.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Man.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

75. $1.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Thank you.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

And call again.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I will, Petey old man.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

But probably not till after Christmas shopping all finished?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah, finished yesterday. Practically. Yep. I believe in doing it early. You hear a lot of people talk about it, but I do it.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Good for you.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

People complaining about Christmas shopping make me tired. There's nothing to it, PB Make a list of people. Make a list of stuff. Buy it. That's the way.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

That's one way.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Wrap it up and hide it so the kids can't find it. Oh, say, wait a minute. How about some wrapping paper?

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

No, we have it. We have the red tissue and we have the green tissue. $0.10 year old.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah, that's all right. One of each, I guess.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

I assume you wouldn't be interested in our gift wrapping. Kid.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Gift wrapping kit. What's that?

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

It comes in a box. Seven kinds of paper, fancy paper and four kinds of ribbon. It also includes a selection of gift cards.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Gift guardians. What are they?

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Little plastic Santa Clauses and angels. You tie them on the outside of the package. Adds joy to Christmas giving. It says on the box. Costs you die in half.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, I'll go for a dollar and a half worth of joy peeve.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Wrap it up. Yes, sir. One gift wrapping kit.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Hey, did I tell you I'm having some people over tomorrow afternoon to sing Christmas carols? Why don't you and Mrs. Peavey come and join us?

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Well, I don't know.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Oh, come on. I'm asking everybody. Floyd Munson, Judge Hooker, Chief Gates, even gonna ask the bullards haven't been speaking to Bullard, but seeing it's Christmas.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Here's your wrapping paper. I understand the Bullards are out of town.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

They are? Little Craig is here. They must be planning to come back tonight or tomorrow, maybe.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

I heard Mrs. Bullard was visiting her mother.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Say, you don't suppose.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Suppose what?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, last week I heard Craig telling Leroy something about a big argument between his father and mother.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Oh, I don't believe there's anything like that, Mr. Gilderslee. I. I believe Bullard's on a business ch.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, where there's smoke, there's fire. None of those things, I guess. Don't tell anybody about it. Terrible thing. Well, Merry Christmas, Pe.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Thank you. You should be receiving a card from Mrs. Peavey and myself.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

A card? Thanks.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

If you don't receive it, it says Merry Christmas.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Same to you, Peevey. See you tomorrow afternoon. Easy with the clippers, Floyd. Okay, Commissioner. Just the back and sides. What's new? Nothing. Well, that takes care of that. I suppose you've heard about the Bullards. Bullards, you say?

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Yeah.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

You heard about it? No.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Little trouble there?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah, afraid so. She's gone home to her mother. Aw, that don't mean nothing. If I had a dollar for every time Lovey went home to her mother, I wouldn't have to be cutting hair. There's more to it than that, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'd be a rich man.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Done it again last week, but she always comes back. I imagine Bullard isn't so used to it, Floyd. He's gone away, too.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Where'd he go?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Home, to his dad. This is a serious matter, Floyd, breaking up a home. I don't break up so easy.

[Narrator/Announcer]

There's a lot of stretch in a.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Home with a guy like Bullard. I can see where a nice woman like her would. Of course, that's the sad part of it. Let's not spread this around, Floyd. After all, you don't have to worry about me, Commissioner. I'm no talker. Little tonic on the hair? No, just comb a dry. Poor Mrs. Bullard. And at Christmas time, too. You can't blame her for leaving the fellow judge, when a man resorts to physical violence. You mean to say Bullard beats her? I won't be at all surprised. I don't believe it. Well, who lives across the street from them, you or me? I don't believe you either. You're just sore because they're getting a divorce and they haven't retained you as their lawyer. I don't handle that type of case well. Anyway, it's A shame, isn't it? Keep it to yourself, will you, Horace? You're the one that's spreading it, not me spreading it. I'm trying to keep it quiet. Well, Merry Christmas, Judge. That's the sad part of it, Eve. They've been married 15 years.

[Eve Goodwin]

That's not the saddest part, Throckmorton. When a wife leaves her husband, you know who suffers.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah, it's tough on board.

[Eve Goodwin]

No, no, it's little Craig I'm thinking of. He's such a little boy. All alone there at home with the governor.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, Craig.

[Eve Goodwin]

Broken homes are hardest on the children, Throckmorton. That's something we school teachers know very well.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Very terrible. Say, Eve, can you come over tomorrow afternoon? Some people are coming to sing carols.

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, I.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Maybe could come a little early, huh? Got a present for you. Got a lot of mistletoe hung around, too.

[Eve Goodwin]

Honestly, T.R. morton, you are the strangest combination of people.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Will you come early?

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, seeing it's Christmas.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, well. Tree all finished. Fire in the fireplace. What should we do now?

[Eve Goodwin]

How about each opening one present?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

That's a good idea, but not till Christmas.

[Eve Goodwin]

Children, you know the rule at Piggy's house. They always open one present each on Christmas Eve.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

That's not the way we do it here. What would you like to do, Marjorie, besides open a present?

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, I don't know. I guess I'll go over to Francie's and see if anything's cooking.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

My dear, it's Christmas Eve.

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, so what? Everything's all ready for tomorrow. What's the matter with having a little fun?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

That's right.

[Eve Goodwin]

Say, why don't we go to the movies? Why not? I'll get the Majestic. They got the Killers.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

We will not see the Killers on Christmas Eve. Children, have you no sentiment?

[Eve Goodwin]

All right, Auntie, what do you want to do?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

It isn't what I want. What do we always do on Christmas Eve? What's our family custom?

[Eve Goodwin]

How are you going to make us listen to the Christmas carol again?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Make you listen to it? No, no, indeed.

[Eve Goodwin]

We know it by heart. Unc, what's the use?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Say no more. I've tried to establish a fine tradition for this household. Evidently, my efforts have been in vain. Evidently, my efforts have been fruitless. Evidently you prefer the company of your friends to staying home with me.

[Eve Goodwin]

It isn't that unky.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

You prefer some movie? The classic masterpiece of Charles Dickens?

[Eve Goodwin]

Yeah, sure, Lero. All right, Auntie, let's read it. It's too cold to go out anyway.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I don't want you to say this just to please me, my dear.

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, I'm not.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I don't want you to do it unless we all agree. Leroy, shall we read the Christmas Carol? Would you rather go straight to bed?

[Eve Goodwin]

Right now?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yes, right now.

[Eve Goodwin]

I guess I'll go to bed.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

No, you won't. You'll listen to the Christmas Carol. Now sit down.

[Eve Goodwin]

Okay.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Where's the book? Marjorie, you find the book. And Leroy, go get me a Coke.

[Eve Goodwin]

Good margin. I have one.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, seeing it's Christmas Eve.

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, boy, Cokes. Did you hear that? Large Coke. Here, Auntie. You'll have to admit that's a tired looking cover.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah. This copy belonged to my father's family. Wouldn't be surprised if it was a first edition. Let's see. Sixth American edition. Well, it might be worth something. A Christmas Carol in prose being A Ghost Story of Christmas by Charles Dickens.

[Eve Goodwin]

That's funny. I never thought of it as a ghost story. I just think of it as a story about Scrooge and. And Bob Cratchit and his family.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

It's a ghost story just the same.

[Eve Goodwin]

Here's the cold chunk. Here, Marge, nice and cold. Birdie had him on ice. Thanks, Leroy.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Thank you, my boy. Now, are we all comfortable?

[Eve Goodwin]

Sure.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

All right, then.

[Eve Goodwin]

Marley was dead to begin with.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yes, that's right. Marley was dead to begin with. There's no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker and the chief mortar. Oh, what a wonderful pudding. Bob Cratchit said, and calmly too, that he regarded it as the greatest success achieved by Mrs. Cratchit since their marriage. Mrs. Cratchit said that now the weight was off her mind, she would confess she had had her doubts about the quantity of flour. Everybody had something to say about it, but nobody said or thought it was at all a small pudding for a large family. It would have been flat heresy to do so. Any Cratchit would have blushed to hint at such a thing. At last the dinner was all done. The cloth was cleared, the hearth swept and the fire made up. The compound in the jug being tasted and considered perfect. Apples and oranges were put upon the table and shovelfuls of chestnuts on the fire. Then all the Cratchit family drew round the hearth what Bob Cratchit called a circle, meaning half a one. At Bob Cratchit's elbow stood the family display of glass, two tumblers and a custard cup without a handle. These two held the hot stuff from the jug however, as well as golden goblets would have done. And Bob served it out with beaming looks while the chestnuts on the fire sputtered and crackled noisily. Then Bob proposed.

[Eve Goodwin]

A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Which all the family re echoed.

[Eve Goodwin]

God bless us, every one, said Tiny.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Tim last of all. He sat very close to his father's side upon his little stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his as if he loved the child and dreaded that he might be taken from him. Little Lero. Unc.

[Eve Goodwin]

What's the matter?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I hope you children realize how lucky you are to have a family. Even if it's only your old uncle.

[Eve Goodwin]

I think you make a wonderful family. Uncle. Sure you're okay?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Think of poor little Craig Buller over there, all alone with a governess. Is that any way to spend Christmas?

[Eve Goodwin]

Where's his father and mother?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I don't know. Poor kid. Leroy, it looks as if Craig is going to have a pretty thin time of it. What would you think of sharing some of your Christmas presents with him?

[Eve Goodwin]

My presents? Aunt Craig's such a louse.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

My boy. Is that a Christmas thought?

[Eve Goodwin]

But he is. Besides, his father's gonna give him all kinds of stuff for Christmas.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

His father may not get back for Christmas. His mother either. Don't you think it would be nice if we all devoted ourselves to giving little Craig a nice Christmas tomorrow?

[Eve Goodwin]

I think we should. Well, if they aren't back by tomorrow.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yes, the boy. I knew your heart was in the right place. Yes, sir. I'll dig out my old Santa Claus suit and go over there and give little Craig the surprise of his life.

[Eve Goodwin]

If you can get into that Santa Claus suit, you'll surprise everybody.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, it may be a little tight, but what's the difference? Where were we? Oh, yes, spirit, said Scrooge with an interest he'd never felt before. Tell me if Tiny Tim will live. I see a vacant seat, replied the ghost in the poor chimney corner. And a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved.

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[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Stay close to me, Leroy.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Each year, we folks at The Kraft Boots Company look forward to the Christmas message from our founder, J.L. kraft. This Christmas Day, we'd like to share a part of his message with you. Mr. Kraft closes his letter by saying, for all of us, our childhood memories must invoke the strongest sense of the lifelong allegiance we owe as children of God to the great teacher, whose birth we celebrate this Christmas of 1946. Jesus came to earth with many missions, but the picture of him as the beloved teacher is the one we see most often in the New Testament record. Let every man choose his own creed. But if we let our minds dwell on the great principles of living as taught by Jesus, we will see the perfect pattern by which to fashion our lives. All successful living, all fulfillment of the promise of our youth, all good citizenship in a world which profoundly needs good citizens must come out of following the teaching of the greatest teacher of mankind. A joyful Christmas, and may the blessing of the great teacher be with you and with Mr. Kraft. All of the folks at CRAFT add their greetings and best wishes to all of you. We hope that with these Christmas adventures of the great Gilders leave, we're adding to the pleasures of your holiday. Now let's get back to the great Gilder sleeve. It's Christmas morning. Stockings have been emptied so there are apples and oranges in all the chairs everyone's presents have been opened so there's paper and ribbon all over the floor. Comes now the lull when the children don't know what to do so they call up their friends.

[Eve Goodwin]

Hiya, Piggy. What'd you get?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Sounds like Piggy did all right.

[Eve Goodwin]

Gosh. Well, I got a chemistry set and two magic and a flashlight and a knife and an atomic pen and a basketball.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Sure.

[Eve Goodwin]

It's official now. I never expected a scooter. Hey, can I come over, Pig?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Leroy, that's no way.

[Eve Goodwin]

Should I ask him over here? No, I've been right over, Pig. So Long. Well, what about Craig Bullard? Why don't you go over and play with him? He's sick. They won't let me.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Who won't let you?

[Eve Goodwin]

His governess. I'll be over. Piggy.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Come here, my boy.

[Eve Goodwin]

Now what?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Which of your presents do you want me to take over to little Craig? Oh, we agreed, Leroy.

[Eve Goodwin]

That's right, we did. Why don't you let him have that sand toy Aunt Hattie sent you? That's a good present. I can have a lot of fun with it. You had one of those four years ago. Aunt Hattie must think you're still nine years old. I should pitch up the sand and dump this.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Little Craig is just the right age for it, my boy.

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, okay. But you tell him I get to play with it whenever I want.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I'm sure Craig will be very generous with it. Now, what else?

[Eve Goodwin]

How about one of those books? Oh, nobody wants a book. Yeah, but I got stuck with two. Here's one. He might like it. It's got pictures.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah. Well, I'll take it. Have you anything you can contribute? Marjorie?

[Eve Goodwin]

Yeah. How about her? Pick out anything I got that he might like. You're pretty safe. Underwear, stockings, jewelry. Who'd want any of that? I like it. Hey, where about that box of candy from Ben? Oh, no.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Why not, my dear? We've got tons of candy around the place.

[Eve Goodwin]

What if Ben comes over? He'll want me to give him some.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Tell him I ate it. Who knows? Maybe he'll believe it. I suppose I look a little foolish on the street in broad daylight. What do I care? The kid enjoys it. What do I care? Darn beard. Gets in your mouth, tastes funny. Oh, well. Haven't even got a Christmas wreath on the door. Rich cheapskates. And try the doorbell. Come on, I know you're in there. I hear somebody shuffling around. Well, Merry Christmas.

[Eve Goodwin]

There's nobody home.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

There isn't? Well, I just.

[Eve Goodwin]

If you're selling something, we don't want any.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Oh, I'm not selling anything. There's nobody home.

[Eve Goodwin]

You say you're a burglar.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I am not. I'm Santa Claus.

[Eve Goodwin]

Take your foot out of the door or I'll call the police.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

My dear madam, I am not a burglar. I.

[Eve Goodwin]

Then why are you trying to find out if anybody's home?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I happen to be your neighbor from across the street, Mr. Gildersley.

[Eve Goodwin]

I don't know you.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, little Craig knows me. I brought little Craig some presents.

[Eve Goodwin]

Is that what you've got in that bag?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Of course.

[Eve Goodwin]

You're sure it isn't burglar's tool?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I'm not a burglar. Look, I'll show you my driver's license.

[Eve Goodwin]

What for?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

So you'll know who I am. Beth May Scott. Morton P. Gildersleeve. 738 Lakeside Avenue. That's right across the street. Brown eyes, 5ft 8. Weight, 230 pounds.

[Eve Goodwin]

I guess it's you, all right. Come in. Right in here. There's someone to see you, Craig. Who is it?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Surprise, Craig. Santa Claus. I've come to see if you've been a good boy.

[Eve Goodwin]

You're not Santa Claus. You're my father.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

No, I'm not. I'm old Chris Kringle himself.

[Eve Goodwin]

I thought you said you were Santa Claus.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

It's the same thing. Now, have you been. Have you been behaving yourself lately?

[Eve Goodwin]

Sure. I've been in bed all the time. What have you got in the bag?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I gotta check up on your record first. Let's see what it says about you in my little book here.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Hmm.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Craig Bullard. I've got quite a few bad marks down here for you.

[Eve Goodwin]

Let's see.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yes, sir. Quite a few bad marks.

[Eve Goodwin]

Let me see the book.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

No, no, sonny. Santa's look is confidential. Santa's. Quit grabbing, Craig.

[Eve Goodwin]

Get back under the covers.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Have you got a handkerchief, Craig? Hey, blow your nose, Craig.

[Eve Goodwin]

I don't need to. That's the way he is all the time.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

You don't have to tell me. You have to be patient with him. No father and mother here for Christmas. I think your record is good enough, Craig. Let's see what Santa's got in his bag.

[Eve Goodwin]

Ah, nuts. A book.

[Narrator/Announcer]

It's.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

It's got pictures in it, Craig. Maybe you like it. Nah. There. The Child's History of England Might be exciting.

[Eve Goodwin]

What else have you got?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

My George, if he was my kid. See what we have here. Here's something.

[Eve Goodwin]

Feels like a toothbrush.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yeah, it is.

[Eve Goodwin]

A toothbrush for a Christmas present.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, it's useful. See what else Santa has in his pack here.

[Eve Goodwin]

Another book?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Nope. Yes, again.

[Eve Goodwin]

I'll open it. Oh, boy. Candy. What's that? Candy.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Just chocolates, miss.

[Eve Goodwin]

She's not allowed to have it on Christmas. She stinks. Craig. I can't do anything with him now.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

He must be patient. Remember, the little fellow doesn't feel well. Think I've got something here that'll cheer him up. There.

[Eve Goodwin]

What is it?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Take the paper off. You'll see. Like it?

[Eve Goodwin]

The sand toy. That's for kids.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

You listen to me, you spoil. Little brat.

[Eve Goodwin]

Ms. Dover. Don't let him touch me. Go right ahead, Santa Claus. Do anything you want.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I. George, for two cents, I'd wail the living daylights out of him. Shut up. I haven't even touched. Shut up. Shut up. And you can have a piece of candy here. Hey, Merry Christmas.

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, someone just came in downstairs. Mommy.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, here we are, Craig.

[Eve Goodwin]

Daddy.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Now, what's the matter?

[Eve Goodwin]

This is my daddy. Who are you?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, Mrs. Bullard. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Bullard Gilderslee.

[Eve Goodwin]

Yes, Craig, Darling, I'm so sorry we couldn't get here last night. Are you all right? Sure. Bring me any presents? I certainly did.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, I wasn't sure you'd get here, and I dropped over to see if Craig was all right. Brought him a few little things.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I hope Craig thanked you.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Craig was his usual charming self. Well, I'll be running along. Why don't you all come over after a while and sing some Christmas carols?

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, it'll depend on how Craig's feeling.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Bring him along. Glad to have him. Merry Christmas, Craig. Now, now, we don't need all this confusion.

[Eve Goodwin]

Merry Christmas, Birdie.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Thank you, old goat. He was be the first. Oh, Merry Christmas.

[Eve Goodwin]

Merry Christmas.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, and here's Floyd right behind you. And Merry Christmas, Floyd. Merry Christmas, Commissioner. Judge. Nice to have you.

[Eve Goodwin]

Shall I bring in the punch now, Ms. Gil?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

The punch? By all means, buddy, by all means. Punch. Say, regular party. Take Floyd's coat, Marjorie. Take the judge's coat, Leroy.

[Eve Goodwin]

Okay. Can we start singing now, Ron?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

I don't know why not. Floyd, will you do the honors at the Wimbley? I can make a stab at jingle bells. Couldn't have a better starter. Come on, Margery. Leroy. Hey, this a real instrument? It's a Wimbley. A fine piece of furniture, too. Genuine Philippine mahogany. Don't say, how's this for a key? Okay, Fine. All right, let's start together and finish together. Jingle bell, jingle bell, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride a one horse open. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what time it is to ride one horse open sleigh. You were fine, Floyd. I had the wrong key. What else do you know? Well, I know one thing. The professor's thirsty. Get some punch for everybody, Leroy. Marjorie. And don't drink any of it yourself.

[Eve Goodwin]

Why not?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, because they're just enough for the grown ups. Sorry, Belle. Wait a minute. It's Eve Goodwin. I've got it.

[Eve Goodwin]

Merry Christmas, Throckmorton.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Merry Christmas Eve. Come in.

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, aren't we going inside?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Why should we? Mistletoe's out here. I decided not to take any chances. Eve.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Yeah.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Hold still.

[Eve Goodwin]

Rock Morton, I think you're stretching the meaning of the mistletoe.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, Christmas comes but once a year. You want to sing some carols, Eve? All right, Move over, Floyd. We got a real piano player now.

[Eve Goodwin]

Now, Josh Morton. I'm not so wonderful.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Anybody that can read notes is better than Floyd. You can't. Can't hurt my feelings. Hi, Ms. Goodwin. Hello. Hey, it's quite an outfit.

[Eve Goodwin]

Thank you. MERRY Christmas, everybody. Ms. Goodwin.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, how about Joy to the World?

[Eve Goodwin]

All right, fine.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Joy to the World. Wait a minute, folks. I'll see who that is and I can start over.

[Eve Goodwin]

We wait for you.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

The compliments of the season, Mr. G. Merry Christmas, Commissioner.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Merry Christmas to you, chief. Come on in, fellas. Throw your coats on the hall table there.

[Eve Goodwin]

Hi.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Greetings. Merry Christmas, everybody. We're just about to start Joy to the World. And now that the chief's here, the base is taken care of. Yeah.

[Peavey (Pharmacy Proprietor)]

Besides, whatever Phoebe sings, don't worry about me. I just float around.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

You're all right, Phoebe. Go ahead, Eve. Joy to the world the Lord is come Let Earth receive her king Let every heart prepare his rule. Keep going, everybody. I'll go to the. Well guiltlessly. We thought we'd accept your invitation. Glad to see you, Bullard. Mrs. Bullard.

[Eve Goodwin]

Craig playing with his toys, so we have a few minutes at least.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Glad you could come. I'm glad you're here. Listen to that wonderful singing. Now, aren't you just a little bit ashamed of yourselves? What do you mean? I know all about it. Going off and talking to lawyers about a separation. I told you this was a small town, my dear.

[Eve Goodwin]

Separation. Do you know where we've been? On a second honeymoon, celebrating our 15th anniversary.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Well, I told PV he was crazy. Come on in and sing, folks. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Good.

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, Auntie Birdie wants to see you.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Birdie?

[Eve Goodwin]

I think she's ready to go out now.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Oh, well, tell her to go ahead. Oh, no, I'll tell her myself.

[Eve Goodwin]

Excuse me, Ms. Gilsley, can I go now?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Yes, Birdie, and thanks for everything. And a merry Christmas to you. Thank you, Bertie, before you go, wouldn't you like to come in and sing that carol? The one you sang at your church.

[Eve Goodwin]

Last year in there with all those people?

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Oh, they love it. Come on, Birdie.

[Eve Goodwin]

Well, you say so.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Come on. Come on.

[Eve Goodwin]

All right.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Attention, ladies and gentlemen. Birdie here has an old English Christmas carol. She sings every year at her church. Would you like to hear it?

[Eve Goodwin]

Oh, yeah. It's in the book there, Ms. Goodman. I think I can find it. Oh, here it is. Oh, yes, it's lovely. Lovely. Little tiny child by lonely, lonely. Thou live to t.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

And. That's wonderful, Birdie. Thank you.

[Eve Goodwin]

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[Throckmorton Gildersleeve]

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This program was brought to you with the good wishes of the Kraft Foods Company. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

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