The Great Gildersleeve 41-08-31 001 Gildy Arrives at Summerfield

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Great Gildersleeve 41-08-31 001 Gildy Arrives at Summerfield

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: The Great Gildersleeve 41-08-31 001 Gildy Arrives at Summerfield
• Host: Harold Perry
• Release Date: January 19, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "The Great Gildersleeve", titled "Gildy Arrives at Summerfield," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio. The episode centers around the charismatic and often bumbling Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve as he arrives in the quaint town of Summerfield to take over his brother-in-law’s estate. Hosted by Harold Perry, the episode masterfully blends humor, family dynamics, and small-town intrigue, capturing the essence of classic radio storytelling.

Main Characters

• Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve (Gildy): The protagonist, a portly gentleman with a mustache, determined to manage his brother-in-law’s estate but often finds himself in comedic predicaments.
• Molly McGee: Gildersleeve’s niece, practical and patient, often mediating between Gildy and other characters.
• Leroy Forrester: Molly’s son, enthusiastic and inquisitive, eager to impress Uncle Gildy.
• Judge Hooker: The stern and short-tempered judge who becomes entangled in Gildy's legal troubles.
• Marjorie McGee: Molly’s sister and Gildy’s niece, supportive and caring.
• Conductor and Porter: Additional characters who contribute to the unfolding events at the train station and the diner.

Plot Summary

Arrival in Summerfield ([03:04] - [11:08]): The episode opens with Gildersleeve arriving at Wistful Vista, the residence of Molly McGee and her son, Leroy. Gildersleeve is departing temporarily to manage an estate, entrusting his employees with the upkeep of his company, Gildersleeve Girdleworks. His departure is marked by humorous interactions where he accidentally causes chaos, such as forgetting to buy a train ticket and struggling with the train’s infrastructure.

Comedic Lunch at the Diner ([06:24] - [14:21]): Gildersleeve's attempts to find sustenance at the diner lead to a humorous confrontation with Judge Hooker. Their interactions are filled with witty exchanges and escalating tensions, culminating in a brief scuffle over briefcases and orders. A notable moment occurs when Gildersleeve orders an extravagant meal, prompting Judge Hooker to become increasingly irritated:

Judge Hooker [07:15]: "I can't stand this. Listening to you is giving me heartburn." ([07:15])

Conflict and Legal Troubles ([22:03] - [28:04]): Upon returning to Summerfield, Gildersleeve faces legal challenges as he seeks appointment as the administrator of his brother-in-law’s estate. In court, his humorous demeanor clashes with Judge Hooker’s strictness. Gildersleeve's attempts to charm the judge backfire, leading to a comedic yet tense courtroom scene:

Judge Hooker [23:03]: "Order in this court." ([23:03]) Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [23:15]: "I make girdles, you, Honor." ([23:15])

Despite Gildersleeve’s persuasive efforts, including invoking a connection with Fibber McGee, the judge increases the bond requirement, escalating the stakes. The situation intensifies when Gildersleeve threatens drastic measures, adding to the comedic tension:

Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [25:22]: "I won't stand for this. I'll resign." ([25:22])

Resolution and Continued Antics ([27:00] - [31:08]): Gildersleeve negotiates with Judge Hooker, leveraging his relationship with Fibber McGee to reduce his bond. The judge, initially resistant, eventually succumbs to Gildersleeve's persistence, only to double the bond upon confirming the judge's disinterest. Gildersleeve's exasperation continues as he vows to take control of the estate, emphasizing his determination:

Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [30:59]: "By George, Leroy, I'm gonna show that judge I can run that estate. Or my name won't be Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve." ([30:59])

Key Moments and Notable Quotes

• Gildersleeve’s Entrance: Gildersleeve’s comedic struggle to board the train and find his berth sets the humorous tone for the episode.

• Diner Duel: The exchange between Gildersleeve and Judge Hooker over orders showcases their clashing personalities.

  Judge Hooker [07:15]: "I can't stand this. Listening to you is giving me heartburn." ([07:15])

• Courtroom Comedy: The courtroom scenes blend humor with tension, highlighting Gildersleeve’s antics and Judge Hooker’s frustration.

  Judge Hooker [23:03]: "Order in this court." ([23:03]) Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [23:15]: "I make girdles, you, Honor." ([23:15])

• Negotiation Fail: Despite Gildersleeve’s efforts, the judge's decision to increase the bond underscores the ongoing conflict.

  Judge Hooker [27:59]: "Yes, after talking to McGee, I'm going to make that bond. $100,000." ([27:59])

• Gildersleeve’s Determination: His vow to manage the estate despite obstacles adds a motivational undertone to the comedic narrative.

  Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [30:59]: "By George, Leroy, I'm gonna show that judge I can run that estate. Or my name won't be Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve." ([30:59])

Conclusion

"The Great Gildersleeve 41-08-31 001 Gildy Arrives at Summerfield" offers a delightful blend of humor, family dynamics, and classic radio storytelling. Through Gildersleeve’s humorous escapades and interactions with Judge Hooker, the episode captures the charm and wit that made the Golden Age of Radio so beloved. Whether navigating legal battles or managing family expectations, Gildersleeve’s determined yet comical character provides endless entertainment, making this episode a standout addition to Harold's Old Time Radio collection.

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Notable Advertisements Skipped:

• **Dr. Dennis Black’s Pet Nutrition Promo ([00:02], [19:49])
• **Parquet Margarine Commercial by Harold Perry ([01:00] - [03:04], [28:31])
• **Jim Bannon’s Financial Advisor Ad ([16:46], [32:03])

These segments were omitted to focus on the core narrative content of the episode.

Transcript

[Dr. Dennis Black]

With New Year's resolutions, many of us will make a vow to eat healthier. And that's a good thing. But what about our beloved pets and their Nutrition? Greetings. Naturopathic Dr. Dennis Black here and I'm on a mission to provide better nutrition for cats and dogs. Because truthfully, all pet food is dead food. Which is why we created Ruff Greens and Meow Greens in the first place. We bring their food back to life with live vitamins, minerals, probiotics, enzymes, omega oils, antioxidants and so much more. All in a tasty formula that your dog and cat will love. You can improve your pet's coat digestion energy and have less vet bills. Let 2025 bring a new year and a new pet. Get a Jump Start trial bag. Normally $20. Get 100% discount with promo code Best Friend. You just cover the shipping. Go to roughgreens.com use promo code best friend. Bring your pet's food back to life with Rough greens so good your pedal asks for it by name.

[Harold Perry]

Kraft presents the Great Gildersleeve each week at this time, the Kraft Cheese Company presents for your enjoyment Harold Perry as the Great Gildersleeve, written by Leonard L. Evanson. We'll hear from the great Guildersleeve in just a moment. But right now, here's a message of very great importance for today's menu makers. I don't know how much you housewives actually know about modern margarine, but there's probably been no time in the history of America when it was so important for you to have the true facts about nourishing wholesome foods for your family. So I want to tell you about parquet. Parquet is the new quality margarine made by Kraft. A delicious bread for bread, hot rolls and toast. Now, of course, the fact that parquet does taste so good probably accounts for its popularity as a spread in millions of homes. But this is even more important. Parquet margarine is a protective food with exceptionally high nutritional value. It is one of the best energy foods you can serve and a reliable year round source of vitamin a. There are 9,000 units of this vitamin in every pound of Park A. So tomorrow, ask your food dealer for a pound of parquet margarine made by Kraft. The whole family will like it because it tastes so good. And you'll know that you're giving them an economical, highly nutritious food made to the Kraft standards of quality. Just say Parquet. P A R K A Y. And now for the adventures of the Great Guildersley.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Wistful Vista.

[Conductor]

Coming into Wistful Vista.

[Molly McGee]

You say this is oh, Wistful Vista.

[Leroy Forrester]

Where Pippa Magee and Molly live?

[Conductor]

Yes, madam.

[Leroy Forrester]

Oh, my.

[Molly McGee]

Do you think I'll be able to see them from the train window?

[Conductor]

No, lady. The McGee's are on their vacation. But say, there's a next door neighbor of theirs, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve.

[Judge Hooker]

Where?

[Molly McGee]

Where?

[Conductor]

That portly gent with the mustache on the platform. The one making a speech to his employees.

[Molly McGee]

How do you know they're his employees?

[Conductor]

Because every time he goes away, he gives them an hour off to come down to the station and wave goodbye.

[Leroy Forrester]

Oh, so that's Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, I never thought. Furthermore, I can't tell you how touched I am to see all the employees of the Guildersleeve Girdleworks down here at the station to bid me goodbye. It's indeed. By the way, is there anyone left at the plant? Well, no. What if some orders come in? Who'll take the phone calls? Mert. Oh, Mert, eh? As I was saying, while I'm away, I expect every one of you to uphold Gildersleeve Girdles to the best of your ability. And don't forget our motto, if you want the best of Corsets of Corsets Gildersleeve.

[Judge Hooker]

Very good, T.P.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Very good. Thank you. Thank you. You'll get a raise. And though it's necessary for me to go away and attend to other enterprises, the one thing closest to my heart is the Gildersleeve Girdle.

[Molly McGee]

How long will you be gone, TP.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

At least three days, and maybe till the end of the week.

[Conductor]

Oh, before you go, TP The Gildersleeve Girdle Workers Guild wishes to present you with this handsome leather briefcase as a.

[Judge Hooker]

Token of our esteem.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

For you. Yes, sir. I don't know what to say except yes. All aboard. Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. Out of my way, everybody.

[Molly McGee]

Are my bags on the train, T.P.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thanks. I forgot to buy a ticket. Where do I buy a ticket on the train, T.P. oh, yes. Let go of me, boys. Where are you pushing me on the train, T.P. goodbye, children. Goodbye, children.

[Conductor]

Here's your ticket, Mr. Gilbert, to sleeve. Sorry, I haven't any berths left.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Couldn't you squeeze me in somewhere?

[Conductor]

I'll try. Though it'll probably be a tight squeeze.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Tight squeeze? Side splitting, isn't it?

[Conductor]

Going to be in Summerfield long?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, no, just three or four days. I'm taking over the administration of my brother in law's, estate. They're going to run it for my niece and nephew. But that's quite involved. And I'm hungry. Which way is the diner?

[Conductor]

Why, an old experienced traveler like you should know where the diner is.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, of course. No matter where you are, the diner is always at the other end of the train. See you later. Oh, excuse me, madam. Yes? Pretty crowded in this diner. By George, I'm so hungry I could eat the waiter.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, sir?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Is it all right if I sit at this table?

[Marjorie McGee]

Yes, sir. Sit right down, sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

If this gentleman doesn't mind reading his paper on his own side. I said, if this gentleman doesn't mind reading his paper on his own side.

[Marjorie McGee]

Excuse me, sir. Does you mind?

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, I do. I'm particular whom I eat with.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You are, eh? Well, I'm not. I'm hungry. Waiter, bring me a steak. A nice juicy double tenderloin, rare.

[Judge Hooker]

Waiter, where's my milk toast? I ordered it 15 minutes ago.

[Marjorie McGee]

I'm sorry, but milk toast takes time, you know.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

And, waiter, I want a big heaping plate of french fries.

[Judge Hooker]

Yeah, French fries.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

And a cup of strong coffee with lots of cream.

[Marjorie McGee]

Yeah, get it right away.

[Judge Hooker]

And bring me my milk toast made with gluten bread, remember?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, bread. Oh, that reminds me. Some hot biscuits and a little pot of jam.

[Judge Hooker]

Gluten bread toasted. And a cup of hot water.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

And then apple pie. Alamode with cheese. With cheese.

[Judge Hooker]

I can't stand this. Listening to you is giving me heartburn.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It is, huh? Waiter, don't forget the steak sauce, ketchup, piccolili and relish.

[Judge Hooker]

Bring me a glass of bicarbonate of soda, quick.

[Marjorie McGee]

Yes, right away, sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'll be back. Of course, it's none of my business, mister.

[Judge Hooker]

And don't stick your nose in it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, all right. That's the way you feel about it. I was just gonna tell you. You're getting your newspaper in the mustard.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't use mustard.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I guess you don't eat any. But what I was gonna say was.

[Judge Hooker]

Never mind. Never mind. Never mind.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Okay, I won't say it then. That mustard from your newspaper is all over your sleeve now.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't care.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What of all the messes, Water only spreads it. You see what they tell you?

[Judge Hooker]

I'll thank you to mind your own business.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What's the big idea jumping down my throat?

[Judge Hooker]

What do you expect, addressing a perfect stranger?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You're far from perfect, stranger. And from now on, I'm gonna make a career out of ignoring you. Here comes my food. That's pretty snappy service. Waiter. Yes, sir.

[Judge Hooker]

Well, where's my milk toast?

[Marjorie McGee]

Yeah, I'm sorry, sir, but the chef is all out of glutton bread. He wants to know what Pumpernickel do just as well.

[Judge Hooker]

No, Pumpernickel wouldn't do just as well. And why keep me waiting all the time while you serve this big buffalo the minute he sits down?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now, look here, mister.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't want to look here. I'm sick of the sight of you. The idea. An overstuffed ox like you guppling and gobbling and gorging yourself like an ostrich. I've got a bad case of indigestion.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Already just from looking at you, you dyspeptic little dodo. Just because you're mean to your stomach and your stomach talks back to you, you bellyache. Excuse the expression. You're not suffering from indigestion. You're just green with epicurean envy.

[Judge Hooker]

I won't sit here.

[Marjorie McGee]

Here's your bicarbonate of soda, mister.

[Judge Hooker]

Take it away. Take it away. I need something stronger than that. Now, I've got some pills down here in my briefcase.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Just a minute there. What are you doing with my briefcase?

[Judge Hooker]

Your briefcase? This is mine.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It is not. My employees gave it to me just this afternoon.

[Judge Hooker]

Take your fat paws off of my briefcase before I.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Before you watch, you dried up little crab apple.

[Marjorie McGee]

Wait a minute, gentlemen.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Please let go of my briefcase.

[Judge Hooker]

I will not. It's mine. Oh, yes, ma'am.

[Molly McGee]

Waiter. Waiter, did you see anything of my briefcase? I left it.

[Leroy Forrester]

Oh, you gentlemen have it. Thank you so much.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, for that.

[Conductor]

Ah, There you are, Mr. Gildersleeve. I've located a berth for you at last.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, that's fine, Conductor. I was getting tired of sitting around here in my pajamas. Where is it?

[Conductor]

It's upper nine in the next car.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Upper nine? Oh, my goodness. The last time I was in an upper berth was, let me see, £50 ago.

[Conductor]

The Porter's making it up for you now.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thanks. I do hope that porter gives me a wide berth. It's dark in here. Oh, porter. Porter, quiet. Oh, excuse me. Must be sleeping. Oh, porter.

[Porter]

Yes?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Have you got up or nine ready yet?

[Porter]

Yes, but I didn't anticipate no gentlemans of such ample proportions.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, maybe I'd better take a ladder.

[Porter]

Yes, Better take two. They small.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, all right. Come on.

[Porter]

Yes. Here we are. Right up there, sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Up there. Oh, my goodness. Hold these ladders steady, Porter. Remember, if they tip, I won't.

[Porter]

Yeah. Now, be careful, mister. Train is coming to a sharp cave. Pretty soon.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

When, then?

[Porter]

Hold on, Mr. Ladder Slide.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I can't hold on. I'm coming down. Look out below. Ooh. No.

[Judge Hooker]

What hit me?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my sacrilegious.

[Porter]

Yeah, Miss, Let me help you out.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't want to get up. I want to sleep.

[Porter]

Not you, mister. The man in dharpa. He's now in the lower.

[Judge Hooker]

And where am I?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You're right here, brother.

[Judge Hooker]

Get off of my poor stomach. Who is it? Oh, it's you. What are you doing sneaking into my berth?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm not sneaking into your. I'm not sneaky. I'm trying to climb into bed. I'm your upstairs neighbor.

[Judge Hooker]

Isn't that nice? I hope that swinging shelf snaps shut on you.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yeah? If it's gonna swing, I'll see this swings your way. And if I land on you again, brother, you'll spend the rest of the night sleeping in the road bed.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, quiet. Let me go to sleep.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Okay, Grandpop. Unpleasant dreams. All right, porter, give me a leg up again. 32,000, 473. 32,000, 474. 32,000, 475. Oh, my goodness. 2:00 already and still not a wink. Yes. 32,476. 32,478. What's the use? There was only some way of stopping that buzzsaw down there. I can't stand this any longer. Where's that porter? I'll fix this guy.

[Porter]

You call me sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Would you mind getting me a drink of ice water? I can't sleep.

[Porter]

Yeah.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

S. Yeah.

[Porter]

Here. Here's the water, mister.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thank you. You needn't wait. Good night. Good night. Good night.

[Porter]

Good night. Sir?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes? If I can hold this cup in this hand. And open the lower curtain with it, I've got it. Yes. Steady now, Gildersleeve. Ready. Aim. Oh, no.

[Judge Hooker]

What was that?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Porter.

[Judge Hooker]

Porter, shut this window, will ya? It's raining right in on my face.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Quiet. Can't a man get any rest around here?

[Porter]

Good morning, sir. He's just pulling into Summerfield. You want me to brush you off?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, I'll walk down the steps like the rest of the passengers. Yeah. By the way, porter, you've given me such good service. Here's an order for a gilder sleeve girdle for your wife.

[Porter]

Thank you, sir. I happens to be a spinster at the moment. But if it's all right with you, I put it in my hope chest.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Yes, that's perfectly all right. Summerfield, eh? By George, I'm certainly looking Forward to seeing Marjorie and little Leroy again.

[Leroy Forrester]

Why can't I, Marjorie? Huh? Why can't I call him TP like they do down at this foundry?

[Molly McGee]

It isn't a foundry, Leroy Roy. It's a. Oh, never mind. It's nothing that concerns little boys. And I'm sure that he will prefer to have you call him Uncle Throckmorton.

[Dr. Dennis Black]

With New Year's resolutions, many of us will make a vow to eat healthier, and that's a good thing. But what about our beloved pets and their Nutrition? Greetings. Naturopathic Dr. Dennis Black here, and I'm on a mission to provide better nutrition for cats and dogs. Because, truthfully, all pet food is dead food. Which is why we created Ruff Greens and Meow Greens in the first place. We bring their food back to life with live vitamins, minerals, probiotics, enzymes, omega oils, antioxidants, and so much more. All in a tasty formula that your dog and cat will love. You can improve your pet's coat, digestion, energy and have less vet bills. Let 2025 bring a new year and a new pet. Get a Jumpstart trial bag. Normally $20. Get 100 discount with promo code Best Friend. You just cover the shipping. Go to roughgreens.com use promo code best Friend. Bring your pet's food back to life with Rough greens so good your pet will ask for it by name.

[Jim Bannon]

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[Leroy Forrester]

You can't go around calling a big, tough guy who runs a steel foundry Throckmorton. It's positively degradatory.

[Molly McGee]

It's derogatory. Yes, that too, Leroy. Who told you Uncle Throckmorton was in the steel business?

[Leroy Forrester]

Ah, you thought you were so smart. I saw one of his letterheads. The Gildersleeve Girder Company.

[Molly McGee]

Oh. Oh, yes. Gildersleeve Girder Company.

[Leroy Forrester]

Gee, he should be here by now, shouldn't he, Marjorie?

[Molly McGee]

Now, don't you worry, Leroy. Just as soon as his train arrives, Mr. Wills will bring him here for breakfast.

[Leroy Forrester]

I wanted to go down to the station, too.

[Molly McGee]

I know, but Ted has to discuss all the legal details with Uncle Throckmorton before we go to court.

[Leroy Forrester]

Say, you're getting pretty darn stuck on that Ted guy, aren't you?

[Molly McGee]

By Leroy Forrester, I am not. Ted Wills is really our lawyer.

[Leroy Forrester]

He is not Williams, and Williams, Willies and Wills are our lawyers. And Ted's nothing but the tail end.

[Molly McGee]

Well, he's young yet. You just give him time.

[Leroy Forrester]

Ah, there you go.

[Molly McGee]

Who?

[Leroy Forrester]

Say, how's if I should call him, Uncle Morton?

[Molly McGee]

Call who? Oh, Uncle Throckmorton. Well, I don't think he'd object to that.

[Leroy Forrester]

Wait, I can do better than that. How's this, Uncle Mort? Who's that, Uncle Mort? I'll answer it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, well, well. I'll bet this is little Leroy.

[Leroy Forrester]

Hi, Uncle Mort.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Hi. Who?

[Leroy Forrester]

You, Uncle Mort. You don't mind if I call you Uncle Mort? The Uncle Mort?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, not at all. Go right ahead. Uncle Mort, eh? I like that.

[Marjorie McGee]

And this is Marjorie, Mr. Gilderslee.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Marjorie, eh? Come here, my dear. My, how you growing.

[Molly McGee]

Hello, Uncle Throttmorton. Let me take your hat and coat. Will you have some breakfast?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, thanks. I've already had mine on the. Well, I'll have a cup of coffee.

[Molly McGee]

Sit right here, Uncle Ted. You sit over there.

[Marjorie McGee]

Oh, thanks.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

My, this looks wonderful.

[Leroy Forrester]

Hey, Unc, will you take me back to Wistful Vista with you and let me work in your factory?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What? Well, I didn't think you'd be interested in that sort of thing.

[Leroy Forrester]

Now, Leroy Diamond Morse, that must be some layout. I bet you make the supports for a lot of big projects there.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

We don't turn out anything much like we sort of confine ourselves to foundations.

[Leroy Forrester]

Say, I'd like to go along sometime when you install some of those foundations I don't have.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What? What did you say, young man?

[Molly McGee]

Please excuse Leroy, Uncle Mort. He's been like that ever since he found out that you owned the Gildersleeve Girder Company.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What? Gildersleeve Girder. Oh, yes, I see it all now. Yes, a bright boy.

[Leroy Forrester]

Gee, Unk, unk. Do you ever have to slug it out with any of them tough steel workers of yours?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, no, I never do.

[Leroy Forrester]

You alone, huh?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, well, of course, there have been times when I've had to put more snap into their work. Yeah. Once I was so angry, I picked up a badly made foundation and bounced it right off the foreman's head.

[Leroy Forrester]

You did?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah.

[Molly McGee]

Now, Leroy, let your uncle eat his breakfast.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah.

[Molly McGee]

Have some toast, Uncle.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Lord, no, thanks. Oh, speaking of toast, reminds me of an amusing incident on the train last night. You'll enjoy this, Leroy. When I went into the diner, the only empty chair was at a table with a sour little crab. You should have heard that little rat yell when the ice water hit him in the face.

[Marjorie McGee]

Well, it's time we leave for court, Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It is? Come on, kids, this won't take long. Well, all I can say is we run things better than this in Wispel Vista. 11:00 and the judge hasn't even shown up yet.

[Marjorie McGee]

Judge Hooker's usually very prompt.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, the trouble with some of these judges is they think they're little tin gods. Take those black robes away from them and what have they got? Bow legs.

[Leroy Forrester]

Gee, that's a hot one, Uncle Moore.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm glad you liked it.

[Conductor]

Everyone rise, please.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Ah, at last.

[Judge Hooker]

Prepare a car to pop in 25. The envelope hit at hey Chook.

[Conductor]

A judge for siding is now in station.

[Judge Hooker]

Be seated.

[Molly McGee]

Sit down, Uncle Mort.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thank you. Oh, my goodness. Who's that man sitting in the judge's chair?

[Marjorie McGee]

Why, that's Judge Hooker.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Judge Hooker? That's the man in the lower berth.

[Conductor]

Martin P. Gildersleeve for appointment as administrator.

[Judge Hooker]

Of the state of Ray Forester.

[Conductor]

Oh, that's us.

[Marjorie McGee]

Come on, Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm not feeling very well, Ted. Couldn't we postpone this over to another judge?

[Leroy Forrester]

Oh, come on, Uncle Mort. Remember what you said. This guy will be a pushover.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, a pushover.

[Judge Hooker]

Now, come on, come on, step up.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Don't dawdle.

[Judge Hooker]

I haven't got all day.

[Conductor]

Like a snappy folks. The judge is pretty short tempered this morning. He didn't get any sleep last night.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my.

[Marjorie McGee]

Your Honor, with your permission, I'll put Mr. Gildersleeve on the stand first.

[Judge Hooker]

Go ahead, Mr. Wills, swearing the witness bell.

[Conductor]

You saw me swear to tell the truth. The whole truth, not about truths.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

How pill I do.

[Judge Hooker]

Well, do you or don't you? Speak up.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I do.

[Judge Hooker]

That voice is very familiar. Turn around, mister. Oh, so it's you.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Hello, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

Mr. Wells.

[Marjorie McGee]

Yes, you, Honor.

[Judge Hooker]

I will examine this man's qualifications, if you don't mind.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I don't, your Honor, but I do.

[Judge Hooker]

Silence. Now then, Gildersleeve, what do you do for a living?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I make girdles, you, Honor.

[Judge Hooker]

Order in this court. Order in the court. Order in the court. Order.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Order.

[Judge Hooker]

And you, Gildersleeve, any more cheap humor and I'll judge you in contempt.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But it's true, you, Honor. I'M the president of the Gildersleeve Girdle Company.

[Leroy Forrester]

Uncle Mort, tell him the truth. He doesn't make girdles, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

And what does he do?

[Leroy Forrester]

Steal foundations?

[Judge Hooker]

I bet he would too. Now, no more interruptions, Mc Boy. Remember this, the courtroom. You realize who I am, of course.

[Leroy Forrester]

Sure, you're a bow legged little tin God, Leroy.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But.

[Leroy Forrester]

But you just said so yourself, Uncle Mort.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, you did.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Just a little joke, your honor. You know how I kid.

[Judge Hooker]

I know. Well, I'm going to ask you a plain question and I want a plain answer. What business are you in?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, I. As you. Oh, that is. Leroy, would you mind going out into the hall and get me some ice water?

[Judge Hooker]

One moment. Who's running this court, you or I?

[Leroy Forrester]

Better not get Uncle Mort mad, Judge. Last night he threw a whole bucket of water on a guy in the berth under him.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh my, here we go again.

[Judge Hooker]

He did, did he?

[Leroy Forrester]

Yeah, and this poor SAP woke up and thought it was raining. You ought to hear Uncle Mor. Delent.

[Judge Hooker]

Thanks, I will. Let's hear all about it, Uncle Morge.

[Marjorie McGee]

But Judge hooker, it's after 5:00. This poor man's been on the witness stand all day.

[Judge Hooker]

All right, one more question, then I'll hand down my decision. Mr. Gildas. Leave. What makes you think that you have executive ability?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, I have a large staff of my own. And through years of experience, I know the proper relationship between employer and employee.

[Marjorie McGee]

Your Honor.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, Mr. Wells?

[Marjorie McGee]

Our firm has thoroughly investigated Mr. Gildersleeve and we're satisfied as to his qualifications.

[Judge Hooker]

Mr. Wells, I have great respect for you and your associates. That is probably the only reason why I'm going to grant your petition. However, in order to protect these children from their own misguided enthusiasm, I'm going to require this Gilder sleeve to report to me every single week.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But, you, Honor.

[Judge Hooker]

Get an okay for every cent that he spends. But Judge and I will require him to post a bond of $50,000 in cash.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now see here, Hooker. I won't stand for this. I'll resign.

[Judge Hooker]

Quiet, Guilder sleeve. I never sent for you. You came here begging for this job. To quote from Broadbers Union Buggy Corporation, Civil Code of Nebraska. You made your bet and you can't lie out of it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But my business in West Paul Vista.

[Judge Hooker]

You remain here and make this estate pay or go to jail for contempt.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now wait a minute. I'm not good. Court is a J. I'll kill that old Ted. We've got to do something about this. Do you realize that a $50,000 bond would not only take every cent of my ready cash, but also means a mortgage on my gordleworks.

[Marjorie McGee]

Gee, I'm sorry about how the whole thing went, Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Molly McGee]

Well, maybe if we went into the judge's chambers, we could persuade him to lower the bar. Nocklemore. Sure.

[Leroy Forrester]

Just let me talk to him.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Young man, you've talked enough for one day.

[Molly McGee]

How about it, Ted?

[Marjorie McGee]

Well, it won't hurt to try. Come on.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. Excuse us, Judge Hooker. You remember me, don't you? I thought perhaps maybe we could possibly get that little cash bond reduced.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't see why I should have.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

If you spoke to somebody who'd known me for a long time, they might convince you that I'm not such a bad fellow.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, that would be fine, Uncle Mort. Who could the judge talk to?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Why, the president of the Wisconsin Vista Chamber of Commerce. He's my next door neighbor, too. That chap named Fibber McGee. We can call him long distance, your honor.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, yes, I see, Mr. McGee. Yes, I'm glad you put me straight on that.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, I knew my little chum would set me in right.

[Judge Hooker]

That's very good point, Leroy.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I want you to meet Magee one of these days. There's one of nature's nobleman.

[Judge Hooker]

I guess you've made up my mind for me. Fibber.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Fibber.

[Judge Hooker]

Hold the phone a second. Now tell him Gilder sleeve.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

Gilder sleeve. I've decided to rescind that $50,000 bond.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I knew that would happen if you spoke to my little pal.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, after talking to McGee, I'm going to make that bond. $100,000. What?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Give me that telephone. Hello? You're a hard man, McGee.

[Harold Perry]

The Great Gildersleeve will be with us again in a few minutes. While Uncle Trock recovers from that one, I want to say a word that I believe will make every thinking housewife want to try parquet margarine tomorrow. This delicious new craft product is most popular as a spread for bread and a seasoning for hot cooked foods because of its delicate, pleasing flavor. But the same qualities that make it so good for table use. Make it an extra fine shortening for baking. I say extra fine because it has all the qualities of an ordinary shortening, plus fine flavor and added nourishment. Let me read you a statement from Mrs. Lillian Watts, who, having been born and raised on a farm, is mighty particular about food. She says, quote, I have a family of eight and they all like parquet margarine. I use it in various ways. Cakes, bread, muffins, biscuits, soup, spreads and other ways too numerous to mention. Thank you a thousand times for this wonderful product. End of quote. Now, that's a mighty enthusiastic statement. But you'll be just as enthusiastic once you have tried parquet. It's so delicious, so nourishing, so grand in every way. Tomorrow, be sure to order parquet, the economical spread made by Kraft. And remember, every pound of parquet margarine contains 9,000 units of vitamin A.

[Molly McGee]

Gee.

[Leroy Forrester]

Uncle Mort, what are you gonna do now?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

By George, Leroy, I'm gonna show that judge I can run that estate. Or my name won't be Throckmorton P. Gildersley.

[Leroy Forrester]

You better warn Uncle Mort you won't even have a name.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, no, I'll just have a number. Good night. F.

[Harold Perry]

Original music on tonight's program was composed and conducted by William Randolph. This is Jim Bannon saying good night for craft and reminding you to tune in again next week at the same time to hear the further adventures of the great Gilders. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Jim Bannon]

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