The Great Gildersleeve 41-11-16 012 Servicemen for Thanksgiving

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Great Gildersleeve - "Servicemen for Thanksgiving"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: The Great Gildersleeve 41-11-16 012 Servicemen for Thanksgiving
Host: N/A (Original classic radio programming)
Original Air Date: November 16, 1941
Rebroadcast/Podcast Release Date: November 5, 2025
Theme: Community, gratitude, and homefront patriotism as a family prepares to welcome servicemen for Thanksgiving.

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Brief Overview

This classic episode from The Great Gildersleeve celebrates the spirit of Thanksgiving during wartime America, focusing on community efforts to host servicemen away from home. With his characteristic wit and warmth, Gildersleeve gets swept up in the citywide movement to open homes to soldiers, only to find things don't go quite as planned. The show blends humor, heartfelt sentiment, and a touch of chaos—all against the backdrop of 1940s patriotism and family togetherness.

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Key Discussion Points & Storyline Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene: Pre-Thanksgiving Preparations

[02:29 - 04:23]

• Gildersleeve's bustling home is busy making Thanksgiving plans. Birdie (the housekeeper) requests a night off for her lodge event, the "Daughters of Cleopatra" fish fry to honor visiting soldiers.
• Early, Leroy reads in the paper about thousands of soldiers being in town for Thanksgiving, prompting the family to consider inviting one or more to dinner.

Notable Quote:
Birdie (on her lodge):
“In our organization, every gal’s a queen.”
[03:42]

2. Idea Takes Root: Inviting Soldiers for Dinner

[04:23 - 07:51]

• Inspired by the USO’s call for hospitality, the family decides to invite a soldier (or soldiers) for Thanksgiving.
• Gildersleeve lightens the moment with a humorous (and exaggerated) tale of being wounded in the Army—by a mule.

Notable Quotes:
Mr. Gildersleeve:
“Leroy, you sound like a cannibal... When I think of all those boys, so far away from home, it takes me back to the lonesome Thanksgiving I spent in army hospital back in 1918.”
[05:07]

Leroy:
“Where were you kicked, Uncle?”
Mr. Gildersleeve:
“In the customary place. That mule kicked me so high they gave me a pilot’s license.”
[05:31]

3. Organizing the Big Celebration

[07:51 - 10:03]

• The plan escalates: invite not just one, but as many as a dozen soldiers, with Marjorie and her girlfriends as hostesses.
• Gildersleeve rehearses a stirring radio speech to encourage townsfolk to do the same, comically interrupted by Leroy’s gum-popping and playful banter.

Notable Quote:
Mr. Gildersleeve:
“Let me urge you once more... open your hearts and your homes tomorrow to the soldiers.”
[08:11]

4. Mixing Up Military Tales for the Girls

[10:03 - 11:14]

• Marjorie’s friends arrive, charmed by Gildersleeve’s supposed military credentials and stories (elaborated from his earlier "mule incident"). His tall tales spiral, but the mood is enthusiastic as preparations continue.

Notable Quotes:
Marjorie’s friend:
“All of us girls think you’re simply too tremendous, starting these soldier parties!”
[09:44]

Leroy, revealing the truth:
“But uncle, you told me yourself you were wounded right smack in the middle of Missouri.”
[10:35]

5. Thanksgiving Day Scramble

[13:09 - 20:09]

• The household is abuzz—turkeys roasting, last-minute arrangements, and Leroy practicing the bugle (with less-than-musical results).
• They head to Bacon Square to invite soldiers, only to find the camp nearly empty—most soldiers have already been invited to homes.
• A humorous encounter with the mess sergeant and colonel ensues, with Gildersleeve’s military "mule" reputation resurfacing comically.

Notable Moments:
Leroy’s bugle practice goes awry, with Gildersleeve quipping:
“Was that mess call? Sounded more like a moose call.”
[14:31]

The Colonel recognizes Gildersleeve:
“You were... the officer who bought more bad mules than the whole artillery could shake a stick at!”
[22:22]

6. Desperate Measures and Rivalry

[23:17 - 28:03]

• Gildersleeve and his friendly rival, Judge Hooker, team up to find remaining servicemen. They vie for the company of a young man in uniform, each trying to outdo the other with promises of grand dinners and better company.
• The banter becomes slapstick, with a chase and comedic one-upmanship.

Notable Exchange:
Judge Hooker:
“Not a word against that man Gildersleeve. He made a wonderful impression on me... Wish I could meet him someday.”
Mr. Gildersleeve:
“Would you really want to?... Well then, shake hands. ...I am him.”
[24:34 - 24:55]

7. The Real Soldier: A Surprise Reveal

[28:03 - 29:05]

• The "soldier" they finally bring home is revealed to be Jerry Arnold—a Boy Scout, not an enlisted man.
• Everyone is surprised, but he’s warmly welcomed nonetheless, reflecting the episode’s warmth and good humor.

Notable Quote:
Mr. Gildersleeve:
“Oh, you’re not a private? ...No, sir, I’m not even in the army.”
[28:54]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Birdie on her lodge’s hierarchy:
  “Ahead of me comes the major domus of the outer chamber of the inner sanctum. Then there’s the chief searcher in the bulrushes for the daughters of Pharaoh. And above her comes the royal rejector of delinquent daughters!” [03:17]

• Gildersleeve’s self-deprecating army story:
  “I had quite an asinine education.” [06:20]

• Thanksgiving competition between townsfolk:
  Judge Hooker and Gildersleeve’s rivalry in recruiting soldiers, escalating to physical silliness and good-natured quips.

• The reveal of the “soldier”:
  Jerry Arnold, a Boy Scout, is ceremoniously introduced to the household in military style; the punchline embodies the episode’s playful heart.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:29] — Thanksgiving dinner plans and Birdie’s lodge event
• [04:45] — USO encourages families to invite soldiers
• [05:23] — Gildersleeve’s comical “war wound” story
• [07:51] — Plans for a dozen soldiers and Marjorie’s girlfriends
• [08:11] — Gildersleeve rehearses his patriotic radio speech
• [14:31] — Leroy’s bugle mishap
• [19:04] — All soldiers have already been invited; encounter with mess sergeant
• [22:22] — Gildersleeve’s reputation as an army mule buyer teased by the Colonel
• [24:34] — Judge Hooker’s admiration (and surprise) on meeting the radio speaker
• [28:54] — Discovery that the “soldier” is actually a Boy Scout

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Episode Tone and Takeaway

With rapid-fire wit, playful banter, and touches of sentimental patriotism, this episode is both a time capsule of wartime America and a timeless comedy of errors. The story gently pokes fun at self-importance, civic enthusiasm, and the best-laid plans, all while reinforcing the power of community and the spirit of giving.

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"Happy Thanksgiving, ladies and gentlemen. Good night."
— Mr. Gildersleeve [30:26]

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Transcript

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[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Each.

[Narrator]

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[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, my goodness, Bertie, the ashtrays are all empty for once. What is this, some special occasion?

[Leroy]

For me?

[Birdie]

It is, Mr. Gillsleeve. I'd like to have the evening off.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, is this your night to leave early?

[Birdie]

No, sir, but I'd sort of like to get an advance on next week's night.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh. Oh. Any reason why not, Marjorie?

[Leroy]

Oh, not at all. Go ahead, Verdie.

[Birdie]

Thanks. I wouldn't ask, only we've got spectacular things tonight down at our lodge. That's the mysterious and bewildering orders of the Daughters of Cleopatra.

[Leroy]

Yeah, our birdie's the head sphinx.

[Birdie]

Not no more Leroy I's now the exhausted ruler of the pyramid.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah.

[Birdie]

I've been promoted.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, I see. Does that make you the head man?

[Birdie]

No, sir. I's practically a stowaway on the royal barge of the ancient Nile. And ahead of me comes the major domus of the outer chamber of the inner sanctum. Then there's the chief searcher in the bulrushes for the daughters of Pharaoh. And above her comes the royal rejector of delinquent daughters.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, isn't there a queen Bertie?

[Birdie]

Mr. Gilleslee, in our organization, every gal's a queen.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my. Pardon.

[Leroy]

What are you holding tonight, Birdie? An initiation?

[Birdie]

No, ma'.

[Leroy]

Am.

[Birdie]

It's the red, white and blue fish fry. In order, you know, to honor a group of our visiting soldier boys.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yeah.

[Birdie]

The Daughters of Cleopatri is all 100% American.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, that's a fine thing, Birdie, entertaining your soldier friends.

[Birdie]

Yes, we've even hired a military jitterbug band. The Brown Skinned Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, go right ahead. And if you want to take anything from the pantry for the fish fry, help yourself. Birdie? Yeah? You may want to broil a couple of cans of sardines.

[Birdie]

Yes, thank you very much, Mr. Gilson.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, that's all right.

[Leroy]

Say, Unc.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You know something, Leroy, I wish you wouldn't keep using that expression. Of course I know something, but what is it?

[Leroy]

Well, I was reading in the paper where there's going to be about a thousand soldiers in Summerfield over Thanksgiving. Yes, let me see. Yeah, here it is.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, City will play host to 32nd Regiment Thursday. USO urges all citizens to invite army men to dinner.

[Leroy]

That's what I mean. Can we have a soldier for our Thanksgiving dinner, Uncle Mort?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, you sound like a cannibal.

[Sergeant]

Leroy.

[Leroy]

You mean, can we invite a soldier to come to dinner?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, and I think it's a splendid idea.

[Leroy]

Oh, then we're gonna have one.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Why, of course. When I think of all those boys, many of them so far away from home, it takes me back to the lonesome Thanksgiving I spent in army hospital back in 1918.

[Leroy]

Gee, Unc, I never knew you were wounded.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, it's. It's something I never talk about.

[Leroy]

What happened to you, Uncle Maud?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I was kicked by a mule.

[Leroy]

Where were you kicked, Uncle?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

In the customary place. That mule kicked me so high they gave me a pilot's license. You know, I spent three weeks in bed flat on my stomach. In those days, I had a flat stomach. But remember, kiddies, never mention a word of this to anybody. It's still a painful subject. Even now I twitch when I pass a mule.

[Leroy]

Gee, Uncle Mort, where did this happen? In France?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

No, Leroy, in Missouri. I was buying mules for the army. Sort of talent scout for jackasses. Yeah, well, Anyway, I got 9,000 of them before one of them got me.

[Leroy]

Say, I never knew you knew anything about mules.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, Leroy. I had quite an asinine education. Yeah, but that was a long time ago. Let's forget it. Children.

[Leroy]

Yes? Does that paper say how we go about inviting a soldier for dinner?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Inviting? Let me see. Oh, yes. Here it is. Patriotic. Families who wish to share their Thanksgiving dinner with members of the army are requested to be at Bacon Square, opposite the city hall, before noon Thursday to pick up their dinner guests. The army men will be bivouacked at the square.

[Leroy]

What's bivouac, Uncle?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

A bivouac is a place where barking dogs are cooled off in pup tents. Yes, I gotta remember that. Also that word.

[Leroy]

Well, then it's very simple, huh? Just one more for dinner first. Yeah, you can drive down in the morning and pick up one of the boys, Uncle. Gee, that's gonna be keen.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

We better ask Birdie if it's all right with her first, though. Oh, Birdie.

[Leroy]

Yes, it's all right indeed.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

That woman's wasting her time as a cook. She'd get a job as an airplane detector.

[Leroy]

Say, I have a better idea. Let's have a real celebration. We'll get a couple of extra turkeys and invite eight or 10 boys.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Eight or 10? Won't that be too much trouble, Marjorie?

[Leroy]

Oh, no. I'll ask some of my girlfriends to come over.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Girlfriends? Oh, by all means. That'll be jolly for the soldiers, too.

[Leroy]

Aw, gee, Unc, the whole idea sounded great to you. Abroad in the girls. Do we have to have girls?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Why not?

[Leroy]

What's wrong with them? Jeepers, don't you think those soldiers are doing enough for their country as it is without wasting their day off with a bunch of silly girls?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

And in conclusion, fellow citizens of Summerfield, let me urge you once more on the eve of Thanksgiving to open your hearts and your homes tomorrow to the soldiers visiting our fair city. Yep. Quit popping your bubble gum, Leroy. Especially while I'm rehearsing my radio speech.

[Leroy]

I'm sorry, Unc. I'm doing it unconscious.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, I'm sure you are, young man. If you keep playing with your gum that way, someday you're going to have a blowout. And remember, you haven't got a spare face.

[Leroy]

Finish your talk, please, Uncle Mo.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I don't need to rehearse it anymore. Marjorie, I know that speech backwards.

[Leroy]

You do? Let's hear it. I bet it sounds even better backwards.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yep. Leroy, you keep that up and you're gonna get some applause backwards.

[Leroy]

You know, I think it's wonderful of you, Uncle Mark, to go on the air tonight and urge everyone to entertain the soldiers.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, people have always told me I should be on the radio. They say I sound just like that fellow who used to be with Pipper McGee and Molly.

[Leroy]

Oh, that's probably some of the girls now.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, wonderful. Oh, yeah. Cute, aren't they?

[Leroy]

Uncle Mart, I want you to meet Betty Wilkins and Mildred Sherman. Hello.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

What lovely friends you have, Margie. You should invite them here oftener. Much oftener.

[Leroy]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Gilderslee.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Not at all, my dear. I've always had an eye for redheads.

[Leroy]

But, Uncle Mort, last year she was a blonde.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, I see she's got a convertible top.

[Leroy]

Oh, Mr. Gildersey, all of us girls think you're simply too tremendous, starting these soldier parties. Oh, he ain't so tremendous. It's that suit he's wearing. Well, I like him just the way he is. Especially that straight military bearing. After all, he was an army man. You know he was? What branch of the service were you in? You flew, didn't you?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Uh, for a short time.

[Leroy]

What kind of a plane did you use?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

A plane? It's a. An old Jenny.

[Leroy]

And. And you were wounded, too, weren't you? Oh, dear. Whereabouts were you wounded, Major Gilbert? At the front? No, it was in that Leroy. I was just going to tell him it was in the middle of a Leroy. But, uncle, you told me yourself you were wounded right smack in the middle of Missouri.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, that's right. In Jefferson City Mall.

[Leroy]

But even so, you were lucky to have recovered.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Everybody said I had a horseshoe in my hip pocket. I didn't get rid of it either, till they operated.

[Leroy]

Well, what were you doing in the army when you weren't flying, Major?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I was sort of a recruiting officer. Yes. Brought more than 9,000 recruits into the field artillery alone. I got a kick out of it, too.

[Leroy]

I imagine that must have been a lot of fun.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Fun? Well, only at the beginning, my dear. I got awfully tired in the end.

[Leroy]

Hey, uncle, isn't it time for you to go to the radio station?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

By George, you're right. Marjorie. Leroy, you want to come along?

[Leroy]

Well, I'd like to, Unc, but I got a little surprise of my own for tomorrow. I'm going over to Piggy Banks House. Oh, say, while you're there. Leroy, remind Piggy's sister Penny about coming tomorrow.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You mean that Piggy Banks has a sister named Penny Banks?

[Leroy]

Yes. Uh huh. She was named after her Aunt Penelope, who lived in Indiana. Auntie is one of the.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Don't tell me, Marjorie. I know one of the banks of the Wabash.

[Leroy]

Look, Peggy, how's about lending me your bugle? Oh, I don't know me for what.

[Judge Hooker]

You want with it.

[Leroy]

I need it for Thanksgiving tomorrow. You got the wrong instrument on Thanksgiving. You play with drumsticks. Now beat it. Oh, for corn's sake. Look, Pig, the reason I wanted is because we're going to have a lot of soldiers for dinner.

[Judge Hooker]

So what?

[Leroy]

We're having our cousin Rockwell. He's a city alderman. Oh, what's a measly old alderman? My uncle used to be a big shot in the army. A major in the Missouri Mules.

[Judge Hooker]

What you mean?

[Leroy]

Oh, then that's what they called his outfit. Say, he recruited the toughest, meanest, fightingest outfit that ever come out of Missouri. What kind of outfit was it? A field artillery. You know, the cannoneers with hairy ears. Do they really have hairy ears? Oh, brother. I still can't see that this got.

[Judge Hooker]

Anything to do with borrowing my bugle.

[Leroy]

Gee, you're dumb. I gotta make these soldiers feel at home so they can enjoy the turkey dinner. I'm gonna blow mess coil on your bugle. Oh, I get you. That's a keen idea, meatball. Now will you lend it to me?

[Sergeant]

Sure.

[Leroy]

Swell. Now there's only one thing I gotta do.

[Judge Hooker]

What's that?

[Leroy]

I gotta learn how to play a bunch.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Why, those turkeys sure look good. Birdie, you don't happen to have a spare leg, do you?

[Birdie]

No, sir, but I sure could use one with all the running around I got to do.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

No, Birdie. I mean a spare turkey leg.

[Birdie]

No, sir. I ain't gonna subdivide none of them birds before the zero hour. And when I serves them, they gonna be intact. A thing of beauty and a joy for about two minutes.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, how about some stuffing then?

[Birdie]

Nobody's gonna do no stuffing, no how till everybody does. And that includes stuffing yourself with stuffed olives too.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yeah? You talking to me?

[Birdie]

Yes, sir. I've hardly got enough olives now to spell out welcome 32nd Regiment into mashed potatoes.

[Leroy]

You know, people have been coming to the door all morning asking for soldiers for dinner just because you went on the radio last night.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, but I told them to go down to Bacon Square jumping jeeps. What's that?

[Leroy]

Oh, it sounded like it came from the living room.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, it can't be anything serious. Then again, maybe it can. I'll find out right away. Leroy, what are you doing?

[Leroy]

Learn how to blow a mess call. Unc.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Was that mess call? Sounded more like a moose call.

[Leroy]

Boy, won't those soldiers be surprised when they hear me blowing the bugle.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, and won't you too?

[Leroy]

Aw gee. Give me a little time. All I need is practice. I heard in school that Grace Moore practices six hours a day.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, a lot of good it does her. I bet she still can't play the bugle. Well, it's a sweet thought, Leroy. Even if your music is sour. Oh, there's a doorbell. I'll get it. Folks. Yes?

[Leroy]

Excuse me please. Is this the gentleman who was speaking last night by the radio from Soldiers for Thanksgiving?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes madam.

[Leroy]

They'll permit me to introduce myself. Mrs. Sapiro, glad to meet you.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

How do you do Mrs. Sapiro. Glad to meet you. What can I do for you?

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What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[The RealReal Advertiser]

Could you be more specific?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

When it's cravinient. Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made real butter available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a.

[Leroy]

Second at a.m. p.m.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'm seeing a pattern here. Well yeah, we're talking about what I.

[The RealReal Advertiser]

Crave, which is anything from AM PM.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience AM PM too much good stuff.

[Leroy]

Well, I got right now in the oven a nice young kosher toiki and I am wanting a soldier who would likewise if.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'm sorry Mrs. Sapiro, but I haven't anything to do with these soldiers officially. You'll find them down at Bacon Square.

[Leroy]

Please. If the soldier boy I'm looking for is at Bacon Square, then he's not the soldier boy I'm looking for. Goodbye. Since you've got a downtown yet, you better get going. It's almost 12.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

All right, just as soon as I get my coat and hat. And Leroy. Leroy, come on, if you're going downtown with me.

[Leroy]

Oh, Kenk, here I come.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, stop that for a little young man. What are you doing swimming around in my old army uniform?

[Leroy]

Ti Unk. That's part of the surprise. How do I look?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You and the mothballs look fine.

[Leroy]

Oh, girls, come in here and see Leroy.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Look. Cute at that.

[Leroy]

Look, he's got Uncle's uniform on and it's all pinned off. Isn't it cute the way the britches almost reach to the floor? Lauren. Oh, Major Gilder. Steve, why don't you put it on?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, I'm sorry, girls, but I couldn't get into that uniform if it were three times as big as it is now and I was twice as small as I am, which would still be half again as large as the suit would be if it were double the size of what it is now. Which it isn't, thank goodness, because if it was, I'd have to wear it. And I can't because it doesn't fit. Leroy, with all those girls coming over to our house this afternoon, I'm gonna have to ask for about 12 soldiers instead of eight.

[Leroy]

That'll be super, Unc. Say, look at all those tents. Gee, where are all the soldiers?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, they must be inside.

[Leroy]

Say, you don't think they've all been invited out already, do you?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, you get the most fantastic ideas. Hello. Where is everybody? How do you knock on a pup tent?

[Leroy]

Nobody in here, Unc.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my goodness. Nobody home. Leroy, get away from that cannon before it goes off and takes you with it. Why did we wait so long? If all these pup tents are empty, I'm certainly going to be in the doghouse.

[Leroy]

Hey, Uncle Mort, here comes a soldier. Shall we invite them?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, of course. Oh, a soldier.

[Judge Hooker]

Yeah.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

How would you like to come over to my house for dinner now?

[Narrator]

Well, I don't know.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

We're going to have a.

[Judge Hooker]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You leave this boy alone. He's coming home to dinner with me. Is that so? Don't you try to rustle my recruit. I saw him first. Oh, no, you didn't. And I saw him first. You did not. I saw him at least 20 seconds before you did.

[Judge Hooker]

Mister, I saw this boy 20 years before you did.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

He's my son. You.

[Judge Hooker]

Come on, boy.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Mom's waiting. Yeah, Mom's waiting. Oh, my goodness, Leroy, if I don't bring back a bevy of boys for that gang of girls, my goose Will be cooked instead of my turkeys.

[Leroy]

Hey, let's look in this big tent. Maybe somebody's here. Oh, hello, mister.

[Sergeant]

Hello.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

This is the mess tent, Leroy. Hello, Sergeant. Leroy, this is the mess, Sergeant. Where can I find some of your boarders? Sergeant?

[Sergeant]

They've disordered me. And after I've been working my fingers to the bone over a hot stove all morning.

[Leroy]

You mean they've all been invited to homes already?

[Sergeant]

Everybody, including my dishwashers.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, Leroy, we're sunk.

[Sergeant]

You're sunk. What about me? 50 gallons of the finest turkey a la king made from a special recipe created by Putin's penny. 20 dozen Dainty Parker House rolls that couldn't be topped by Parker house himself. And 32 mince pies made out of the tenderest part of the mince.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I. I can sympathize with you, sergeant, but maybe you can help us.

[Narrator]

How?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, it just so happens that we've gotten ourselves into something of a mess, Sergeant. We have three turkeys and almost a dozen beautiful girls at our house just waiting to entertain some soldiers.

[Leroy]

Yeah, you should see the cookies that are waiting for the rookie.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You'd have a wonderful time at our house. Sarge, how about taking off that apron and coming with us?

[Sergeant]

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm on duty. Yeah, like the captain of a ship. Everybody else can leave, but I gotta get down with me pipes.

[Leroy]

Gee, that's too bad.

[Birdie]

Come on, Unc.

[Sergeant]

Before you go, I got just one slight request I'd like to make. Would you please take a taste of my turkey a la king?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I don't think I. Oh, come on.

[Sergeant]

Just one teensy, weensy little taste. Just so I didn't labor all morning in vain. Here.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Conscientious, isn't he, Leroy? Well, thank you.

[Sergeant]

You have some, son.

[Leroy]

Thank you, but it is. Why, my appetite for dinner. And I've been saving this appetite for a week.

[Sergeant]

How do you like it, mister?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I think I'll have a little more.

[Leroy]

No, no, no, no, Uncle Moore. Come on, we gotta dig up some soldiers.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You're right, Leroy. Are you sure you won't come with us, sarge?

[Sergeant]

No, buddy. Duty is duty. And besides, the colonel would be sure to catch me if I sneaked out.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

The colonel? I'll bet he's got a few soldiers up his sleeve. Where can I find him?

[Sergeant]

Way over there at the other end of the square, sitting in his tent?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, sir. Well, come on, Leroy. We'll lay our troubles in his lap. Yes.

[Leroy]

Yes.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'm Colonel Atterbury. What Can I do for you, Colonel? My name is Gildersleeve. Oh, yes, Very unusual name. What can I do for you, Colonel? Colonel, I have a lovely big home, a wonderful cook, and a dozen of the sweetest girls in Summerfield.

[Judge Hooker]

What?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

No boys? No, that's the trouble, no boys. We get all prepared to entertain 10 or 12 soldiers at dinner today. And when I come down to pick them up, what do I find? No soldiers. Not a single solitary rear rank. Third assistant buck private. Well, I. I'm sorry. Sorry. He gargles. By George, this is a pretty pickle for our army to get itself caught over a barrel into.

[Leroy]

Yeah, and after I've been practicing mess calls all day, too.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, the poor little fellow almost blew his brains out. Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Gildersleeve. Gildersleeve, sir. I think I know you from some place. Yes, yes. I can't place your face, but your manners are off even. Yeah, well, never mind. As soon as some of our men return, I'll send them out to your house. That's just the old brush off. I'm just stubborn enough to stay right stubborn.

[Birdie]

That's it.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I've got it.

[Judge Hooker]

Mules.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

That's where I know you from. You were stuck again. Gilder Sleeve, the officer who bought more bad mules than the whole artillery could shake a stick at. Why, you. You don't pay any attention to the way he jokes, Leroy. Great kidders, these army men. Well, Colonel, now that you recognize me, I hope you'll trot out some suitable recruits for us to take home guildlessly. I've got just the right detachment for you. Wonderful. Who are they? Some old friends of yours. Whole corral full of mules that just love to be your guests. Come on, Leroy, let's get over here. What am I laughing at? Donna wish he'd invited me to go to dinner today. Leroy, you better run along home now and tell the girls I'll bring back some soldiers if I have to call out the Marines.

[Leroy]

Okay, Uncle. Where are you going now?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'm going to try the USO headquarters. And if you see any soldiers on the way home, grab them, even if they're wearing Civil War uniforms.

[Leroy]

I'll do my best, Uncle Mort. See you when you get home.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. All right, Leroy. Oh, look who's standing on the corner. Well, hello, Judge Hooker.

[Judge Hooker]

Hello, Gildersleeve.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

What's wrong? You look as though you've lost your last friend. But of course, I know that happened years ago.

[Judge Hooker]

Gildersleeve, I'll thank you to keep your nose out of my business.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'll be only too glad to. What are you doing hanging around street corners?

[Judge Hooker]

I'm. Well, it's a long story. I happened to turn on the radio at home last night and there was a fellow urging everyone to me invite. Invite a soldier to dinner.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, oh, oh, he did?

[Judge Hooker]

Ah, that speaker. There's a man. The way he told every citizen to do his duty by our new army was stirring and inspirational.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

It was, eh?

[Judge Hooker]

Yes. Why, the first thing I did this morning was phone the best restaurant in town and order the most expensive turkey dinner out to my house. I was going to invite a soldier to share it. That's the effect that speaker had on me.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, where is your soldier?

[Judge Hooker]

That's where the trouble comes in. People at the USO headquarters tell me that there would have been plenty of them to go around if this radio speaker hadn't wrecked all their plans by urging everybody in town to come down after a soldier.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my goodness. So that was it. Of all the numbskull and notions.

[Judge Hooker]

Not a word against that man Gildersleeve. He made a wonderful impression on me. Clean cut, vibrant personality. One of nature's noblemen, I should judge. Wish I could meet him someday.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Would you really want to?

[Judge Hooker]

Yes.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, then shake hands.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, you'd like to meet him, too?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Good gracious, no. I am him.

[Judge Hooker]

What?

[Leroy]

You.

[Judge Hooker]

Why, you hypocritical hippopotamus.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

What?

[Judge Hooker]

No, no, that's wrong with me. I've misjudged you, Gildersleeve.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, I guess I've misjudged you too, Judge Hooker. I never thought you had a heart under that old thick height of yours. No, no, I just thought your blood circulated because you brought it to a boil so often.

[Judge Hooker]

What are you doing roaming the streets on Thanksgiving afternoon, Gildy?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, same thing as you are, Hooker. Looking for some military men to fight their way through a couple of 20 pound turkeys.

[Judge Hooker]

Suppose we do our hunting together, Gildy, old pal?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Why not, old chum? After all, this is Thanksgiving Day and we should treat each other like human beings for change.

[Judge Hooker]

Splendid. That goes for me, too. At least for today.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, well, come on, come on, come on. You work this side of the street and I'll take the other side.

[Judge Hooker]

All right.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, boy. Wait a moment.

[Judge Hooker]

What is it?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Look, here comes the young fellow in uniform now. And I saw him first.

[Judge Hooker]

Is that so? Hey, hey, son, come here.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Come here. Stop that, you double crossing little bot. Fly.

[Judge Hooker]

Young man, how'd you like a delicious turkey dinner, huh?

[Sergeant]

Who Me?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes. He wants you to come up to my house.

[Judge Hooker]

I don't either. I'm in my house. I've got a great big turkey just for two of us.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

We got four turkeys at our house. And we'll give you a whole one for yourself, son.

[Judge Hooker]

Gee whiz, I couldn't eat that much. And besides, I'm supposed to report to USO headquarters. They're closed for the day. Corporal, come on out to my house. But I'm not a corporal.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Of course not, Sergeant. Now, my car is right over here. So if you'll excuse us, Judge.

[Sergeant]

Nope.

[Judge Hooker]

Come this way with me, Lieutenant.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You wouldn't like it at his place, Captain.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, now, gentlemen, please.

[Leroy]

Let go of me.

[Judge Hooker]

Hey, you're tearing my uniform.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Let go of the Major's uniform. Let's trot along. Let's trot along.

[Judge Hooker]

Okay, if you. You want to get indigestion. Now, my turkey is.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

His turkey is as old as he is and just as tough.

[Judge Hooker]

Hey, I wish somebody would tell me what this is all about. Don't let him confuse you, son. I'll take you to a movie after dinner.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

A movie? We're gonna have dancing at our house. You'll have 12 beautiful hostesses dance with.

[Judge Hooker]

Who wants to dance on a full stomach?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You do, don't you, son?

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, gee, I don't know. I never learned.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

No time like right after dinner. Come on. That's my car right over there.

[Judge Hooker]

Of all the low down, backbiting, double dyed, unscrupulouses. I've had enough. Come back here, young man.

[Sergeant]

Who, me? Yes, you.

[Judge Hooker]

I'm gonna start off entertaining you this afternoon by making this fat worm fold up like a road map. Here, hold my code.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I'll be very glad to.

[Leroy]

No, I won't.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Now see here, hooker, you point a pinky at me and I'll beat the day lots out of you and then back in again.

[Judge Hooker]

Gee, aren't you two fellas a little too old for this sort of thing?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You keep out of this. Who invited you to say I invited you? Come on, let's go home.

[Judge Hooker]

No, you don't, gilder sleeve. I'm gonna knock you colder than an Eskimo. Mother in law's kids.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You all. Oh, what's the use of quarreling like this if you've got your heart set on taking this young man home? Judge, I won't stand in your way.

[Judge Hooker]

But haven't I anything to say? No. Jealously. Do you mean this?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yes, Judge. Go on, get your car. Hurry up now, before I change my Mind.

[Judge Hooker]

All right. You just wait right here, soldier. I'll be back in a jiffy, and then we'll have a wonderful dinner.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Yeah.

[Judge Hooker]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Sergeant]

Kill Day.

[Judge Hooker]

Gee whiz, M. You got me all confused. Do I have to have dinner with that other gentleman?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

With that old goat? Of course not. Wait till he turns the corner. All right, come on now. Run like anything.

[Judge Hooker]

But the judge went that way.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

I know that. My car is this way. Hurry up, boy.

[Leroy]

Oh, laugh. There they are now. Come on, girls. Let's go to the front door. Come on, birdie. Get things ready, knee boy. There's your pew.

[Sergeant]

Yeah.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Well, well, here we are at last. Step right in, son, and meet everybody. Gee, thanks. Girls, this is Jerry Arnold. Private Jerry Arnold of the United States Army.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, no, sir.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Oh, you're not a private? Oh, no, sir. I'm not even in the army.

[Judge Hooker]

What?

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

You're not?

[Judge Hooker]

Why, no, sir. I'm a Boy Scout.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Great.

[Narrator]

Guildersleeve will be with us again in a few minutes. But right now, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving next Thursday or the week after, there's one thing that's the same everywhere. Yes, that turkey is going to taste mighty good with all its trimmings and fixings. And we all want to remember that we Americans still have plenty to be thankful for. And another thing that's certain, if you make your Thanksgiving cakes and pastries and cookies with parquet margarine, you're going to get plenty of compliments on their downright good taste. You see, the delicious flavor that makes parquet margarine so popular for table use. Makes it wonderful for baking, too. Yes, as sure as parquet is a delicious spread, it's a genuine flavor shortening, too, not a bland, tasteless fat. Parquet adds flavor to pan fried foods, too. And a dozen spatterers stick to the pan. So serve parquet margarine at the table. Use it for baking and pan frying, too. Remember, you can use all you want because parquet margarine is economical and good for your family. Yes, parquet margarine is a wholesome, nourishing energy food and a reliable source of vitamin A. So right now, add parquet margarine to your shopping list. Remember, it's parquet P A R K A Y.

[Mr. Gildersleeve]

Sorry, our time's up. Happy Thanksgiving, ladies and gentlemen. Good night.

[Narrator]

Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by William Randolph. This is Jim Bannon speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company and inviting you to be with us again next week at this same time for the further adventures of the Great Guilders League. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

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