The Great Gildersleeve 43-05-16 (082) Haunted House

Summary

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Podcast Summary:

Harold’s Old Time Radio — "The Great Gildersleeve" (Episode 82: "Haunted House," 1943-05-16)
Released: October 18, 2025 | Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Classic radio presented with warmth and nostalgia: Featuring Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve and the quirky citizens of Summerfield in a comic haunted house episode.

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Episode Overview

This episode revives an installment of the beloved Great Gildersleeve, where domestic ambitions, politics, and a supposed haunted house collide. Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, recently reunited with his fiancée Leila Ransom, finds his world upended by her ideas about new furniture, moving to a grander house, and even shaving off his iconic mustache. These lighthearted changes snowball into neighborhood speculation, superstitious kitchen staff, and a comically spooky adventure at the infamous "Burton House" on the outskirts of town.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. Home, Marriage, and Changing Everything

• [02:41] – [06:27]:
  • Leila and Gildersleeve sit together planning their future, but Leila gently pushes for changes—first new furniture, then a new home.
  • Notably, she also requests he shave off his mustache to look "younger," hinting at insecurities about appearances and the opinions of others.
  • Quote:
    • Leila: “Would you shave off your mustache? You can't tell. It might make you look younger… You don't want people to think of me as an old man's darling.” ([05:19])

2. The Saga of the Mustache

• [06:27] – [08:23]:
  • Gildersleeve, under Leila’s sway, makes the big leap and visits Floyd the Barber for a shave.
  • Floyd recalls a tragicomic tale of a previous customer whose life went awry after losing his mustache, fueling Gildersleeve's nervousness.
  • Quote:
    • Floyd: “The fellow took one look at himself... ran out of the shop, tore down to the depot and bought a ticket and left town.” ([07:23])

3. Political Schemes and Judge Hooker’s Advice

• [08:25] – [10:10]:
  • Judge Hooker joins the scene, pushing Gildersleeve to consider a grander house befitting potential political ambitions.
  • It becomes clear the Judge has vested interests as the executor of the Burton estate.
  • Quote:
    • Hooker: "Man wants to be president, it's all right to be born in a log cabin, but the time comes when he... has to get out of it." ([09:02])

4. Family Reactions & The Haunted House Lore

• [10:10] – [14:47]:
  • At home, Gildersleeve checks with Leroy and Marjorie about moving—they’re aghast at the thought, not wanting to leave friends or familiar quirks behind.
  • Bertie the housekeeper adamantly opposes the Burton House, claiming it’s haunted because of a violent past, to lively comic effect.
  • Quote:
    • Bertie: "Everybody knows that old Mr. Burton shot old Miss Burton in that house… we heard the scariest noise I ever heard in my life." ([12:49])

5. Leila’s Picnic and the Psychic Drugstore Detour

• [16:59] – [23:27]:
  • Leila proposes an outing; poor Leroy is left behind, consoled only by Bertie’s promise of a “no grown-ups” chocolate cake picnic.
  • At the drugstore, the quirky Peavey mentions his wife’s psychic “second sight” and entertains tales of premonitions—blurring skepticism and superstition.
  • Quote:
    • Peavey: "Mrs. Peavey does some pretty strange things. She often sees things that are coming.” ([21:18])

6. Picnic, Romance, and a Detour to Mystery

• [23:44] – [25:34]:
  • During an idyllic picnic, Leila can’t resist steering Gildersleeve to just “peek” at the Burton House. Lo and behold, Judge Hooker has given her a key.

7. Comic Haunted House Antics

• [25:58] – [28:21]:
  • They explore the gloomy, oversized house. Leila runs on nerves, and every creak ratchets up her fears.
  • A muffled noise from the closet propels the gag: is it a ghost? No—Gildersleeve suspects Leroy or a practical joke.
  • Quote:
    • Leila: "Oh, I wish we'd never come in here. I wish I'd listen. It's in that closet." ([27:08])
    • Gildersleeve: "All right, Leela. But first I’m gonna lock that thing in the closet." ([27:24])

8. Resolution: No Sale on the Haunted House

• [28:21] – [30:00]:
  • Gildersleeve tries (and fails) to uncover the culprit—spooking himself and Leila in the process. They vow never to return to the haunted house.
  • The haunted house, once a status symbol, is back on the market without its scandal-ridden allure.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Leila (on moving and modernizing):
  • “Now, this house, Vince…” ([03:39])
• Gildersleeve (pride in his home):
  • “I'm not moving out of this house, no matter what he thinks.” ([04:10])
• Floyd (on mustachioed men):
  • “I was the only fella in town that ever saw him without it, and he never spoke to me again.” ([07:23])
• Bertie (on the haunted house):
  • “That house is haunted. Mr. Gilsteeva, I don't want you to think I'm superstitious, but that house is haunted.” ([12:49])
• Leila (in the haunted house):
  • “Take me out of here. Take me out of here.” ([27:21])
• Peavey (playing the straight man to Gildersleeve’s skepticism):
  • “Mrs. Peavey does some pretty strange things. She often sees things that are coming.” ([21:18])

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|-------------------------------------------| | 02:41 | Leila and Gildersleeve’s sofa discussion | | 06:27 | Mustache shaving at Floyd’s shop | | 09:23 | Judge Hooker’s “presidential” pitch | | 10:10 | Family reacts to moving | | 12:49 | Bertie’s haunted house warning | | 18:38 | Leroy gets his own picnic with Bertie | | 21:15 | Peavey/Psychic dreams detour | | 25:34 | Gildersleeve & Leila enter the Burton House | | 27:13 | Climax: Haunted house scare & exit | | 29:13 | Episode closes on a comic “good night” |

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Tone & Style

True to The Great Gildersleeve, the episode blends gentle satire, witty exchanges, and domestic warmth. The dialogue sparkles with playful ribbing (especially between Gildersleeve, Leila, and Judge Hooker) and the comic pacing ensures even “scary” moments retain a cozy charm.

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For New Listeners

This episode delivers a vintage slice of American radio comedy with themes that remain relatable—family, love, pride, change, and neighborly nosiness—all dusted with just enough spooky fun for a nostalgic Halloween treat or any season. Gildersleeve’s refusal to uproot, trimmed mustache, and haunted house bravado all reinforce his status as an everyman beset by the world’s gentle (and not-so-gentle) pressures.

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Harold’s Old Time Radio brings you broad laughs, family squabbles, and a taste of the supernatural—without ever forgetting heart.

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Transcript

[Narrator/Announcer]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Liberty. Liberty Savings.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Ken Carpenter (Kraft Announcer)]

Kraft presents the Great Gildersleeve. The Kraft Cheese Company, who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time, Harold Ferry as the Great Gildersleeve. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. But first, I think most homemakers listening in will agree that between rising food costs and red stamp rationing, it's getting to be more and more of a problem to satisfy family appetites. Well, if that's the case in your house, one good way to practice true economy is to place parquet, the quality margarine made by Kraft, at the top of your grocery shopping list. For parquet, margarine requires just five red ration points, and it's just about the finest flavored spread for bread your family ever tasted. What's more, parquet is a delicious seasoning for everyday hot cooked vegetables. A real flavor shortening for baking. And you'll especially like it for pan frying because it doesn't spatter or stick to the pan. Yes, the family will like parquet for appetizing flavor and for wonderful nourishment, too. It's one of the best energy foods you can serve. And Every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. So for flavor, for economy and for good nutrition, ask your dealer for parquet. P A R K A Y Park. A margarine made by Kraft. Now on to Summerfield, where we join that illustrious citizen and industrious lover, Throckmorton P. Gildersley. And where do we find him? Well, love is funny. The door that yesterday was slammed in your face today flies open at your approach. And so we discover the great Gildersleeve and his lady love once more together, seated on the sofa in his living room, gazing into the future and laying plans for the event that is shortly to make him the happiest man in the world.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leila.

[Leila Ransom]

Yes, Ralph Martin.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

A penny for your thoughts.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, Gracie, my poor little old thoughts. They're hardly worth a penny.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, you know me. I'm a spendthrift.

[Leila Ransom]

Silly. I'll tell you what I was thinking, though. I was thinking you and I are going to have to go and look at furniture one of these days soon.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Furniture? What for? Leila, I've got more furniture now than you can sit on.

[Leila Ransom]

I know, Throckmorton, but after all, what's.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

The matter with it?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, I guess there's nothing really the matter with it, but it just hasn't any style. Oh, now it's true, Throckmorton. Take that easy chair there.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's my chair.

[Leila Ransom]

I know, and look at it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What's the matter with that chair? I like it.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, but look at this shape of it. That short little back and that great enormous seat.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

There's always a reason for everything, Leah.

[Leila Ransom]

You know the trouble with you, Throck Martin. You've been a bachelor so long, you're setting your way.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, I.

[Leila Ransom]

Yes, you are. But after we're married, things will have to be a little different. Now, this house, Vince.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right, I'll admit the house needs painting. That's all right with me.

[Leila Ransom]

Well, that's not quite. Quite what I was thinking, Frock Martin.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No? What were you thinking?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, you know that big white house on the edge of town out toward the country club? The one that sort of set back among the trees with a big lawn in front?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You mean the old Burton place?

[Leila Ransom]

I guess so, yes. Well, I understand it's for sale.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

The course is for sale. It's been empty for three years. Leela, you weren't thinking of moving out of this house?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, it's a nice house in all Throckmorton, but it is kind of old fashioned.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I like it.

[Leila Ransom]

Well, it's old fashioned without being really antique, if you know what I mean.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I like it.

[Leila Ransom]

I just thought you're doing so well now and all. And Judge Hooker says he frankly doesn't think this place is suitable for a man of your position in this time.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, he doesn't? Well, you tell Judge Hooker not to worry himself about me. I'm not moving out of this house, no matter what he thinks.

[Leila Ransom]

Even if you knew.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, that's my final answer, Leader. I wouldn't even consider it.

[Leila Ransom]

All right, darling, if that's the way you feel about it, I won't say another word.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I hope you don't think I'm just being stubborn.

[Leila Ransom]

Darling, the house is already forgotten. All I want in the world is for you to be happy. You know that. I thought you're my lord and master, or you soon will be lord and.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Master and give me a kiss.

[Leila Ransom]

Throck Martin.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, honey?

[Leila Ransom]

Would you do something for me?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Anything.

[Leila Ransom]

My love, something awfully sweet.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Anything. What is it?

[Leila Ransom]

Would you shave off your mustache?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Shave it off?

[Leila Ransom]

But, Leila, just to see how it would be. You can't tell. It might make you look younger. Younger? Yes. You don't want people to think of me as an old man's darling.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leela, you don't think of me as old?

[Leila Ransom]

Of course not, Throckmorton. But I'd just like to see how you'd look without it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, sir, nothing doing. I just wouldn't be me without my mustache, Leland.

[Leila Ransom]

Very well. In that case, would you kindly move over, Throckmorton and give me a little room on this sofa? Oh, now, you said you'd do anything I asked. You promised.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leela, why do you have to change everything? Can't you love me the way I am?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, I don't think you can love me very much. All I ask you to do is to shave off a little old mustache. I'm not asking you to buy any new furniture. I'm not asking you to move.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right.

[Leila Ransom]

Besides, it tickles.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right, Leela. All right. I'll shave it off. Delilah.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Well, good morning, Mr. Guilty Sleeve. Wasn't expecting to see you for another week or 10 days.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know, I know, but here I am. Floyd, I want you to shave off my mustache. What? You heard me. Let's get at it, because I'm a busy man.

[Floyd (Barber)]

All right, commissioner, but I don't mind telling you, I hate to do it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Never mind that. Lather me up.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Okay, okay, you're the doctor. But I'll tell you why I say that. It was some years ago when I had my other shop over in Ashton. One day a fellow come in. He was quite a character in town. Sort of public figure. A little on the stout side, like yourself.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I suppose what's under your vest is laundry.

[Floyd (Barber)]

No offense, Mr. Yellow Sleep, no offense, but this fellow's been wearing a mustache all his life. 30 or 40 years. All of a sudden he come in and asked me to shave it off.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's why I came in, too.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Oh, two shakes.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Have to stop a little.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Of course, I was just a young fella then. I didn't know what to know now. Full of beans and no brains. So I never gave it a second thought, just went right ahead and shaved his mustache like it was hay.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on, Floyd. I haven't got all day.

[Floyd (Barber)]

When I was through, the fellow took one look at himself. Then he put his hand over his face, ran out of the shop, tore down to the depot and bought a ticket and Left town in the next train. He didn't come back till three months later, and by that time he had a new mustache. I was the only fella in town that ever saw him without it, and he never spoke to me again. So I hate to shave off your.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Mustache, Mr. Gilderslee, but here she goes. Floyd, let's not rush into this thing, huh? No, sir. No. Just trim off a little at each end so I can see how that'll look, huh?

[Floyd (Barber)]

Oh, slow and easy. I got you, Mr. Gildersleeve. About this much, say a little less.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

About this much, a little more. There. All right, now sit still. There.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Now, if you cover up the other end with your finger, you can get an idea.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm afraid to look. Floyd, go ahead and even her up.

[Floyd (Barber)]

All right, now sit still.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

There. Well, how do you like it? I don't know. What do you think, Floyd?

[Floyd (Barber)]

It's hard to say. Makes you look different.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Well, if it ain't Judge Hooker. Come on in, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

Morning, Floyd. Well, Gildersleeve, what on earth?

[Bertie]

Whose idea was this?

[Judge Hooker]

Your lady friend.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Never mind, Hooker.

[Judge Hooker]

Maybe I better call her up and tell her to get ready for a shower.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You stay away from her. You've made enough trouble already.

[Judge Hooker]

What do you mean?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What's the idea of putting bees in her bonnet about my house not being good enough for me?

[Judge Hooker]

I didn't say it wasn't good enough for you. I said it wasn't good enough for a man with political ambition.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What do you mean by that?

[Judge Hooker]

Well, it seems obvious enough. Man wants to be president, it's all right to be born in a log cabin, but the time comes when he.

[Bertie]

Has to get out of it.

[Judge Hooker]

Isn't that right, Floyd?

[Floyd (Barber)]

Well, I.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You stay out of this, Lloyd. Uh huh. In the first place, Hooker, I'm not in politics. In the second place, the voters choose a man for his ideas, not his residents.

[Judge Hooker]

Maybe so, Gildy. Maybe so. But look at Congressman Abernathy. His house looks exactly like Thomas Jefferson's. And that impresses the voters, doesn't it, Floyd? Well, I.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You stay out of this.

[Judge Hooker]

Hooker.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

When I get ready to run for Congress, I'll buy a Jeffersonian house. Until then.

[Judge Hooker]

All right, Gildy, all right. But there's a house on the market now that'd be just right. May not be there by the time you throw your hat in the ring. They're talking about you for Congress in 44, you know.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

They are?

[Judge Hooker]

Definitely.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Who?

[Judge Hooker]

I can't tell you. Yes, Betty, if you were to get your hands on that old Burton Place.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Maybe I'll think it over, Judge.

[Floyd (Barber)]

So long and thanks for the tip, Mr. Gilder. Sleeve.

[Bertie]

Did you say tip?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What? Oh, here you are, Floyd.

[Leila Ransom]

Hi, Unc. Say, what's going on?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Going on? What are you talking about? Leroy?

[Leila Ransom]

Somebody's been sabotaging your mustache.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, I simply had a trim. Is supper ready?

[Leila Ransom]

Any minute, Bertie says.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Very well. Come here and sit down here for a moment, my boy. I want to talk to you.

[Leila Ransom]

Me?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, you.

[Leila Ransom]

Ah, Chunk, I don't think you got a thing on me right now.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm not accusing you of wrongdoing, young man. Is that the only subject you can think of for conversation with me?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, it seems to come up pretty often. But if you just want chit chat, I'll tell you about the horror picture I saw this afternoon. The Mummy's Claw.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I don't want any chit chat.

[Leila Ransom]

It's about a mummy that came back to life as a zombie.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's enough of that.

[Leila Ransom]

But, Unc.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, I want to ask you a question. Are you happy here in this house?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, sure. Yeah, I like it fine. Uncle, you're not thinking of throwing me out, are you?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No. Leroy, I love you very dearly. Some of the time. What I want to know is, would you like it if we moved to some other house in another neighborhood and.

[Leila Ransom]

Not live near Piggy and the gang?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, you can still see him now and then.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, please, Unc.

[Bertie]

We don't want to move.

[Leila Ransom]

It's swell here. Hello, Uncle Moore. What about supper?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Any minute, Marjorie. I was just talking to Leroy.

[Leila Ransom]

You look peculiar, Uncle Moore. What have you done to yourself?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Nothing.

[Leila Ransom]

It's his mustache.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, it gets awfully hot in the summer, Margie. So I just thought.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, I think it looks cute.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, thank you.

[Leila Ransom]

Hey, Marge, you don't want to move to a new house, do you? New house? Now, what's got into you? To me? Nothing. It's Uncle Mort.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Me, Roy. I'll handle this.

[Leila Ransom]

What is this? You're not thinking of leaving this house?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, not exactly, my dear. It was a. Well, I just wanted to get your reaction.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, but, Uncle Maud, I've lived in this house for more than 20 years. Leroy was born here. I love it. I love every room. Every squeaky board in the stairs, every rattle in the window.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right, my dear, all right. I just thought you might like a little more room. The old Burton house, for instance.

[Leila Ransom]

Burton's? Oh, my gosh, Unc, it's got three acres of law. Uncle Mort, it's miles from anywhere.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, it's not so far.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, I know why you're thinking about moving. Lela Ransom wants to live in the Burton house. That's what it is.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, but Marjorie, it was just a suggestion.

[Leila Ransom]

I bet it was her idea of fooling with your mustache, too. I don't like that now, either.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Stop is ready, My dear, if you don't want to, we won't move to the Burton house.

[Bertie]

My land. Did you say move in the Burton house?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now, Bertie.

[Bertie]

Cause if you go live in that house, you have to revise your kitchen personnel.

[Leila Ransom]

Hooray.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But, Bertie, what's the matter with the Burton House?

[Bertie]

Mr. Gilsteva, I don't want you to think I'm superstitious, but that house is haunted.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It's haunted? Why, that's nonsense. Whatever gave you that idea?

[Bertie]

Well, everybody knows that old Mr. Burton shot old Miss Burton in that house. And one time I was walking past it with a gentleman's friend, and we heard the scariest noise I ever heard in my life.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What kind of a noise, Birdie?

[Bertie]

Like something out of this world.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leroy.

[Bertie]

That's the exact sound, Leroy.

[Leila Ransom]

Sure, that's the noise of a zombie that used to be a mummy.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Stop it, Leroy. That's horrible. Bertie, when you and your gentleman friend heard this sound, didn't he investigate?

[Bertie]

No, sir. By the time he caught up with.

[Leila Ransom]

Me, we was two miles away.

[Bertie]

I'll go.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, Fine time for anybody to be calling on us.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, that's right.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

By George, here he is. It's suppertime again. Hello, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

I can't stay, Throckmorton. I stopped in to tell you I just found out the Burton estate would be willing to make a substantial reduction.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Judge, I've decided not to go into that any further.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, so it was Judge Hooker's idea for us to move. What's going on here?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What do you mean, my dear?

[Leila Ransom]

Why is everybody trying to get us.

[Judge Hooker]

Out of this house Now, Marjorie, I just found out that the Burton estate is willing to make your uncle a.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Very favorable officer estate. By George, I begin to see. The Light Estates have executors, don't they, Judge?

[Judge Hooker]

Why, of course they do, you darn fool. What's that got to do with it?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I dare say the executor of this particular estate would make a pretty penny in fees if this particular house were sold, would he not?

[Judge Hooker]

It's just a set fee prescribed by statute.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Answer my question.

[Judge Hooker]

I did.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right. Now, who is the executor of this estate now?

[Judge Hooker]

Guilty. That's neither here nor there. It just happens this Particular executor prefers to remain anonymous.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, he does, eh? This particular executor wouldn't happen to be named Horace W. Hooker, would he? Horace Hooker.

[Judge Hooker]

Well, it just happened.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Case dismissed. Let's get to dinner.

[Ken Carpenter (Kraft Announcer)]

The great gilder sleeve will be with us again in a few seconds. Meanwhile, if you've noticed that it's a case of first come, first serve served at your neighborhood grocery store, you've probably taken a hint and plan your shopping early in the day and early in the week. That's the best way to provide variety and balance in family meals. And it's also good insurance that your dealer will have on hand the outstanding red stamp values. Like parquet. The quality margarine made by Kraft Parquet sells very fast these days. And no wonder.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat. Helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Limu.

[Judge Hooker]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates.

[Ken Carpenter (Kraft Announcer)]

Excludes Massachusetts of people have found that for just five red ration points, they can buy a pound of a fine tasting spot bread for bread that's also a delicious seasoning for cooked vegetables. They've learned, too, that parquet margarine is a real flavor shortening for home baking. And that it's grand for pan fries. Now, if the growing popularity of parquet margarine in your neighborhood combined with wartime shortages have made your dealer supply run out, asking for parquet again soon for craft is doing everything possible to keep all dealers supplied. Ask for parquet. The vitamin A fortified energy spread. Spelled P A R K A Y. Park a margin. Now let's get back to Summerfield, where a picnic seems to be afoot. It's a lovely Saturday morning. And Lela Ransom, who proposed the idea, has promised to lead the way to an ideal spot, complete with Brooklyn.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on. Come on, Leroy. And watch that hook.

[Leila Ransom]

Okay, Uncle Ferdy. Get ready to cook. Plenty of fish tonight. You've never tasted fish like I'm gonna catch.

[Bertie]

No, and you ain't never caught him.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on, leroy. I told Mrs. Ransom I'd be over there at 11:30.

[Leila Ransom]

I'll be right with you. Let me see now. Have I got everything? Fishing rod, reel, bait, hooks, Bobber.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on, come on.

[Leila Ransom]

Sharp knife. Camping, folding camp kit. Where's my camp kit?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, we're only going for the afternoon.

[Leila Ransom]

I know. Oh, here it is. Our spyglass. Compass.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Compass. The place is only a mile from here. We can't get lost.

[Leila Ransom]

I forgot my flashlight.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, we will back before supper.

[Leila Ransom]

I know. I'd just like to take it.

[Bertie]

That Leroy sure gets excited. He's gonna burn himself out before he's 15.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What does he want to drag all that stuff along for? I'm late now, Mr. Gilson.

[Bertie]

You sure you don't want me to pack nothing for you?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, birdie. Mrs. Ransom said she wanted to make you lunch.

[Bertie]

Yes, I just wondering. Does she know your capacity?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Huh? Well, I wouldn't worry much about that.

[Bertie]

You wouldn't want me to just wrap up a few pieces of chocolate cake? I got one just fresh out the oven.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You have, huh? Well, that sounds mighty good, Birdie. I might just call her up and ask her, huh?

[Bertie]

After all, you gotta have something to keep body and soul together.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. Hello, Leela. Coogee. I just called Leela. We will, Leela. We'll be right over. I'm just waiting for Leroy. He's gone to find a. Huh? Oh. Oh, I see. I guess I misunderstood, Leela. Oh, sure, sure. I think it'd be nicer that way. I'll fix it.

[Bertie]

Oh, that's Leroy coming in on a.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Wing and a prayer.

[Leila Ransom]

All set, Unc. Let's go.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, Leroy. I'm afraid there's been a little misunderstanding, my boy. It's my fault. I. You see, I thought you were invited.

[Leila Ransom]

You mean I can't go with you? I can't go on the picnic?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It's all my fault, my boy, and I'm sorry.

[Leila Ransom]

Gosh, Never even used my folding camp kit.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know. And I'll make it up for you, Leroy, some way. You see, Mrs. Ransom and I have a lot of things to talk over. You know, about weddings and such.

[Leila Ransom]

Yeah. It's okay, Aunt. It's okay.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'll tell you what. Why don't you get Piggy and go on a picnic of your own?

[Leila Ransom]

Well, it's an idea.

[Bertie]

Leroy, you come with me. I'm gonna fix you up a nice picnic lunch with all the things you like.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, do that, Birdie. That'll be great. Huh, Leroy?

[Bertie]

Yes, sir. And ain't no grown ups gonna get none of that chocolate cake neither. No matter how much they come begging around.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, now, Bertie, just one little piece.

[Bertie]

No, sir, not one. Now you go on out of here and leave me and Leroy alone.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'm going, Bertie. By George, I envy you, Leroy. All that delicious cake. I wish I were going with you and Piggy. That's what I wish.

[Leila Ransom]

I wish you were, too, Uncle.

[Bertie]

Have a good time. Gosh, now, Leroy, it wasn't your uncle's fault.

[Leila Ransom]

I know. I know whose fault it was. Invites you to a picnic and then changes her mind. What a character. I bet she's gonna drag him out there and try to sell him that house again.

[Bertie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Leila Ransom]

Don't worry. She won't get away with it. Frock Martin, don't you want me to help you carry that heavy old basket?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Why, this is nothing at all, Leila. I could carry it with my little finger.

[Leila Ransom]

Well, don't try. There's a thermos bottle in it. Oh, you don't mind if I stop in here for a minute at the drugstore?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, not at all.

[Leila Ransom]

I'll get all freckly if I don't. And you wouldn't love me with freckles on my nose, would you?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Throck.

[Leila Ransom]

Martin.

[Mr. Peebley]

Hello, Mrs. Ransome.

[Leila Ransom]

Morning, Mr. Peebley.

[Mr. Peebley]

And Mr. Gillesley. Quite a little gathering.

[Leila Ransom]

Lovely day, isn't it, Mr. Peyton?

[Mr. Peebley]

It is indeed. Well, I see you're carrying a picnic basket there, Mr. Gildersley.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, yeah. Picnic basket.

[Mr. Peebley]

Going on a picnic.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

P.V. your positivity.

[Mr. Peebley]

Well, now, I wouldn't say that Mrs. Peavey is the psychic member of the family.

[Leila Ransom]

Mrs. Peavey is psychic?

[Mr. Peebley]

Off and on, yes. She has what is called second sight.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Second sight? That stuff is a lot of buck.

[Mr. Peebley]

No, no. I don't know, Mr. Gildersleeve. Mrs. Peavey does some pretty strange things. She often sees things that are coming.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Did she see you coming.

[Mr. Peebley]

Mr. Gilbert? Speed. But I'll tell you, one experience of hers is pretty hard to explain. Mrs. Peavey had a dream one night.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Everybody has dreams. I have them all the time.

[Mr. Peebley]

I know.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Even cats have dreams.

[Mr. Peebley]

I wouldn't care to dispute you on that, Mr. Gilbert. Please. But I was telling you about Mrs. Peavey. She dreamed one night that there was a very bad thunderstorm. Yes, well, As a housewife, Mrs. Ransom, I don't have to tell you what a thunderstorm does to milk.

[Leila Ransom]

Turns it sour.

[Mr. Peebley]

Exactly.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I suppose the next morning you woke up and the milk was sour.

[Mr. Peebley]

No. Stranger than that. The next morning, the milkman delivered us a bottle of buttermilk by mistake.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Peevey, I wouldn't have believed it if you hadn't told me yourself.

[Mr. Peebley]

That's not all. The night Mrs. Peavey dreamed about the thunderstorm. There was a thunderstorm.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, so she wasn't dreaming at all.

[Mr. Peebley]

That's what I say. There are a lot of things in this world you can't explain.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Peavey, if you believe that, you believe anything. I suppose you believe in ghosts, too.

[Mr. Peebley]

Well, now, I wouldn't say that, but I wouldn't say I don't either.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I suppose you believe this story about the old Burton place now being haunted.

[Leila Ransom]

The Burton place? Haunted?

[Mr. Peebley]

Well, people have heard some strange things going on in there.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Why, nonsense. Just because a man happens to murder his wife. What's strange about that?

[Leila Ransom]

Murder?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, it was some years ago. Leela, don't tell me you're superstitious too.

[Leila Ransom]

Gosh, not Drock Martin. Don't be silly. Well, shall we be going?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, let's get started.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, gracious, I'm forgetting what I came in for. I'd like a jar of your cucumber sunburn cream, please.

[Mr. Peebley]

Sorry, Mrs. Ransom, but we've had a little more demand for that than we expected. We. We've just run out of it.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, you must have run out of second sight at the same time. Pe. Goodbye.

[Mr. Peebley]

Goodbye, folks. Having a nice picnic?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leela, you're wonderful. You know, I never realized you were such a wonderful cook.

[Leila Ransom]

Why, the only thing we had that was cooked thrive haunting was the hard boiled eggs.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know, but they were wonderful.

[Leila Ransom]

Well, I must say, I never saw a man put away so many. Are you sure you had enough?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I couldn't eat another thing. Why, have you got some leftovers?

[Leila Ransom]

No. Well, what should we do now? I'll tell you what. I'll race you down to the brook.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, Leila, race.

[Leila Ransom]

I couldn't. I'll bet you can't catch me drop off.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, don't, Leela. I'm too full. Come back over here and lie down on the grass beside me.

[Leila Ransom]

All right, then.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Right here, huh?

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, this is nice. Look at those clouds up there. Aren't they beautiful?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Uh huh.

[Leila Ransom]

Like little woolly lions.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Uh huh.

[Leila Ransom]

Rock Martin.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Uh huh.

[Leila Ransom]

What are you. What are you thinking?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I wish I'd eaten one less pickle.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, this is no time to be thinking about pickles. Isn't it gorgeous up here on this hill?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, it is.

[Leila Ransom]

And isn't it a gorgeous view?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, it is gorgeous.

[Leila Ransom]

And that little clump of trees down below there with a white house nestling among them.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Gorgeous.

[Leila Ransom]

Throckmorton, you know what? I believe that's the Burton house.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Huh? Yeah, I guess it is.

[Leila Ransom]

What do you say on our way home if we stop off and just peek into it?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now, Leila, you know what you said.

[Leila Ransom]

I know, but we have to pass there anyway, just for A minute.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But we couldn't see anything, Leela. The board, it's all boarded up.

[Leila Ransom]

Yes, I suppose it is. You know what I believe? Wait till I look in my handbag. Yes, sir. Now, what do you think of that?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What?

[Leila Ransom]

I just happen to have a key to the house. Judge Hooker left it with me. Now, isn't that a coincidence?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right, let's get it over with.

[Leila Ransom]

Frog Martin.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, Leela?

[Leila Ransom]

Come in here. Come see what I found.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, where are you?

[Leila Ransom]

In here.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Looks as if somebody broke it. In here, Leela. All this mess around.

[Leila Ransom]

Now, wait a minute. Close your eyes.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Why?

[Leila Ransom]

I want this to be a surprise. Let me take you home.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No tricks now.

[Leila Ransom]

All right, open them. Now, this would be your den.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Looks like the House of Representatives to me.

[Leila Ransom]

Don't you like it?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It's too big, Leila. The whole place is too big.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, but I think it has charm. Trout Mountain. I think it has definite charm.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, it has gloom, too. It's as dark as your hat in here.

[Leila Ransom]

Well, the shutters are closed, silly.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know, but I like a place with plenty of light, Leila. I like a place where people are.

[Leila Ransom]

Did you hear something just then?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Sounded like something falling.

[Leila Ransom]

Drock. Martin. Where did he do it?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Where did what do what, Mr. Burton?

[Leila Ransom]

Where did he shoot Mrs. Burton?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

How do I know? I wasn't there. I mean here.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, this time I know I heard something.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now, Leela, don't get frightened. After all, you're with me.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, I wish we'd never come in here. I wish I'd listen. It's in that closet.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What?

[Leila Ransom]

Whatever it is that's in that closet.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah.

[Leila Ransom]

Take me out of here. Take me out of here.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right, Leela. But first I'm gonna lock that thing in the closet.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, darling.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, I'm not afraid.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, Martin, come quickly, please.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Never fear, my dear. As long as you're with me, you've got nothing to be afraid of. Shall we go?

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, yes. I never want to come near this house again as long as I live. Come on, Throgmorton. Let's get away from this awful place.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leila, you stay here. Now that you're safe, I'm going back in the house.

[Leila Ransom]

Leave me alone here.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, you'll be perfectly safe here. And I'm going back there and find out what that was.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, tr. Martin, I wish you wouldn't remember.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

If anything happens, Judge Hooker has my will.

[Leila Ransom]

Now, be careful, you hear?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'll bet that kid was scared to death when he heard me lock the door. Well, that he Thought I was never coming back. All right, Leroy, you can come out now. Leroy. Leroy, come out of there. Leroy. It's empty. That's funny. Could have sworn it was Leroy. Sounded like Leroy.

[Floyd (Barber)]

He.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my goodness.

[Bertie]

Leroy.

[Leila Ransom]

Oh, what a character. Good night, everybody.

[Ken Carpenter (Kraft Announcer)]

Music heard on this program was on the direction of Claude Sweet. If you'd like to see pictures of the Great Gildersleeve and some of the members of the cast, they're in the current issue of Radio Mirror. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Kraft Keys Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve.

[Kraft Dinner Announcer]

One of the wartime problems you homemakers face is that of keeping meals from seeming skimpy. So here's a suggestion. When you're planning a vegetable dinner or when you have just a small amount of meat for the family, serve the vegetables or meat in a cream sauce in the center of a delicious macaroni and cheese ring. And make that ring the quick way with Kraft Dinner. Each Kraft Dinner package contains a special macaroni and some craft grated. Just seven minutes cooking and you have fluffy, tender macaroni with cheese goodness through and through. For the ring, you merely press the hot Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese in a mold for just a moment. Still easier is Kraft Dinner. Served as is, without fixings, Kraft Dinner is nourishing, economical and so good. A box of it gives enough macaroni and cheese for a family of four and takes just one single red ration point. Notice that one red ration point for Kraft Dinner. Ask your dealer for Kraft Dinner soon. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug Limu.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty.

[Floyd (Barber)]

Liberty.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.