
The Great Gildersleeve 43-05-16 (082) Haunted House
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Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
We interrupt this program to bring you.
Birdie
An important Wayfair message.
Leila Ransom
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Judge Hooker
Kraft presents the Great Guildersleeve, the Kraft Cheese Company, who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Ferry as the Great Gildersleeve. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. But first, I think most homemakers listening in will agree that between rising food costs and red stamp rationing, it's getting to be more and more of a problem to satisfy family appetites. Well, if that's the case in your house, one good way to practice true economy is to place parquet, the quality margarine made by Kraft, at the top of your grocery shopping list. For parquet, margarine requires just five red ration points, and it's just about the finest flavored spread for bread your family ever tasted. What's more, parquet is a delicious seasoning for everyday hot cooked vegetables, a real flavor shortening for baking, and you'll especially like it for pan frying because it doesn't spatter or stick to the pan. Yes, the family will like parquet for appetizing flavor and for wonderful nourishment, too. It's one of the best energy foods you can serve, and Every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. So for flavor, for economy, and for good nutrition, ask your dealer for Park A P A R K A Y Park a margarine made by Kraft. Now on to Summerfield, where we join that illustrious citizen and industrious lover, Throckmorton P. Gildersley. And where do we find him? Well, love is funny. The door that yesterday was slammed in your face today flies open at your approach. And so we discover the great Gildersleeve and his lady love once more together, seated on the sofa in his living room, gazing into the future and laying plans for the event that is shortly to make him the happiest man in the world.
Leila Ransom
Leila.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Yes, Ralph Martin.
Leila Ransom
A penny for your thoughts.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, gracious, my poor little old thoughts. They're hardly worth a penny.
Leila Ransom
Well, you know me. I'm a spendthrift.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Silly. I'll tell you what I was thinking, though. I was thinking you and I are going to have to go and look at furniture one of these days soon.
Leila Ransom
Furniture? What for? Leila, I've got more furniture now than you can sit on.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I know, Throckmorton, but after all, what's.
Leila Ransom
The matter with it?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, I guess there's nothing really the matter with it, but it just hasn't any style. Oh, now, it's true, Throckmorton. Take that easy chair there.
Leila Ransom
That's my chair.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I know, and look at it.
Leila Ransom
What's the matter with that chair? I like it.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, but look at this shape of it. That short little back and that great enormous seat.
Leila Ransom
There's always a reason for everything, Leela.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
You know the trouble with you, Throck Martin. You've been a bachelor so long, you're setting your way.
Leila Ransom
No, I.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Yes, you are. But after we're married, things will have to be a little different. Now, this house, Vince.
Leila Ransom
All right, I'll admit the house needs painting. That's all right with me.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, that's not quite what I was thinking, Throckmorton.
Leila Ransom
No? What were you thinking?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, you know that big white house on the edge of town out toward the country club? The one that sort of set back among the trees with a big lawn in front?
Leila Ransom
You mean the old Burton place?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I guess so, yes. Well, I understand it's for sale.
Leila Ransom
Of course it's for sale. It's been empty for three years. Lela, you weren't thinking of moving out of this house?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, it's a nice house in all Trock Martin, but it is kind of old fashioned.
Leila Ransom
I like it.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, it's. It's old fashioned without being really antique, if you know what I mean.
Leila Ransom
I like it.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I just thought you're doing so well now and all, and Judge Hooker says he frankly doesn't think this place is suitable for a man of your position in this time.
Leila Ransom
Oh, he doesn't? Well, you tell Judge Hooker not to worry himself about me. I'm not moving out of this house, no matter what he thinks.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Even if you knew.
Leila Ransom
No, that's my final answer, leader. I wouldn't even consider it.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
All right, darling, if that's the way you feel about it, I won't say another word.
Leila Ransom
I hope you don't think I'm just being stubborn.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Darling, the house is already forgotten. All I want in the world is for you to be happy. You know that. After all, you're my lord and master, or you soon will Be lord and.
Leila Ransom
Master and give me a kiss.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Throckmorton.
Leila Ransom
Yes, honey?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Would you do something for me?
Leila Ransom
Anything, my love.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Something awfully sweet.
Leila Ransom
Anything. What is it?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Would you shave off your mustache?
Leila Ransom
Shave it off?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
But, Leela, just to see how it would be. You can't tell. It might make you look younger.
Leila Ransom
Younger?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Yes. You don't want people to think of me as an old man's darling.
Leila Ransom
Leela, you don't think of me as old?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Of course not, Throckmorton, but I'd just like to see how you'd look without it.
Leila Ransom
No, sir. Nothing doing. I just wouldn't be me without my mustache, Leland.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Very well. In that case, would you kindly move over, Throckmorton and give me a little room on this sofa? Oh, now, Leland, you said you'd do anything I ask. You promised.
Leila Ransom
Leela, why do you have to change everything? Can't you love me the way I am?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, I don't think you can love me very much. All I ask you to do is to shave off a little old mustache. I'm not asking you to buy any new furniture. I'm not asking you to move.
Leila Ransom
All right.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Besides your tickles.
Leila Ransom
All right, Leila. All right. I'll shave it off. Delilah. Well, good morning, Mr. Yellow Sleeve. Wasn't expecting to see you for another week or 10 days. I know, I know, but here I am. Floyd, I want you to shave off my mustache. What? You heard me. Let's get at it, because I'm a busy man. All right, commissioner, but I don't mind telling you I hate to do it. Never mind that. Lather me up. Okay, okay, you're the doctor. But I'll tell you why I say that. It was some years ago when I had my other shop over in Ashton. One day a fellow come in. He was quite a character in town. Sort of public figure. A little on the stout side, like yourself. I suppose what's under your vest is laundry. No offense, Mr. Yellow Sleep. No offense, but this fellow's been wearing a mustache all his life. 30 or 40 years. All of a sudden he come in and asked me to shave it off. That's why I came in too. Oh, two shakes. Have to stop a little. Of course, I was just a young fella then. I didn't know what to know now. Full of beans and no brains. I never gave it a second thought. Just went right ahead and shaved his mustache like it was hay. Come on, Floyd. I haven't got all day. When I was through, the fellow took one look at himself. Then he put his hand over his face, ran out of the shop, tore down to the depot and bought a ticket and left town in the next train. He didn't come back till three months later, and by that time he had a new mustache. I was the only fellow in town that ever saw him without it, and he never spoke to me again, So. I hate to shave off your mustache, Mr. Gilderslee, but here she goes. Floyd, let's not rush into this thing, huh? No, just trim off a little at each end so I can see how that'll look, huh? Oh, slow and easy. I got you, Mr. Gilder. Sleeve. About this much. Say a little less. About this much? A little more. There. All right, now sit still. There. Now, if you cover up the other end with your finger, you can get an idea. I'm afraid to look. Floyd, go ahead and even her up. All right, now sit still. There. Well, how do you like it? I don't know. What do you think, Floyd? It's hard to say. Makes you look different.
Floyd
All right.
Leila Ransom
Well, if it ain't Judge Hooker. Come on in, Judge.
Mr. Peavey
Morning, Floyd. Well, Gildersleeve, what on earth?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Whose idea was this?
Mr. Peavey
Your lady friend.
Leila Ransom
Never mind, Hooker.
Mr. Peavey
Maybe I better call her up and tell her to get ready for a shot.
Leila Ransom
You stay away from her. You've made enough trouble already.
Mr. Peavey
What do you mean?
Leila Ransom
What's the idea of putting bees in her bonnet about my house not being good enough for me?
Mr. Peavey
I didn't say it wasn't good enough for you. I said it wasn't good enough for a man with political ambition.
Leila Ransom
What do you mean by that?
Mr. Peavey
Well, it seems obvious enough. Man wants to be president, it's all right to be born in a log cabin, but the time comes when he has to get out of it. Isn't that right, Floyd?
Leila Ransom
Well, I. You stay out of this, Floyd. Uh huh. In the first place, Hooker, I'm not in politics. In the second place, the voters choose a man for his ideas, not his residence.
Mr. Peavey
Maybe so, Gildy. Maybe so. But look at Congressman Abernathy. His house looks exactly like Thomas Jefferson's. And that impresses the voters, doesn't it, Floyd?
Leila Ransom
Well, I. You stay out of this, Hooker. When I get ready to run for Congress, I'll buy a Jeffersonian house. Until then.
Mr. Peavey
All right, Gildy. All right. There's a house on the market now, that'd be just right. May not be there by the time you throw your hat in the ring. They're talking about you for Congress in 44, you know. They are definitely who I Can't tell you. Yes, but if you were to get your hands on that old Burton place.
Leila Ransom
Well, maybe I'll think it over, Judge. So long, and thanks for the tip, Mr. Gildersleeve. Did you say tip? What? Oh, here you are, Floyd.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Hi, Uncle. Say, what's going on?
Leila Ransom
Going on? What are you talking about, Leroy?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Somebody's been sabotaging your mustache.
Leila Ransom
Yes, I simply had a trim. Is supper ready?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Any minute, Barty says.
Leila Ransom
Very well. Come in and sit down here for a moment, my boy. I. I want to talk to you.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Me?
Leila Ransom
Yes, you.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Ah, Chunk, I don't think you got a thing on me right now.
Leila Ransom
I'm not accusing you of wrongdoing, young man. Is that the only subject you can think of for conversation with me?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, it seems come up pretty often. But if you just want chitchat, I'll tell you about the horror picture I saw this afternoon. The Mummy's Claw.
Leila Ransom
Mom, I don't want any chitchat.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
It's about a mummy that came back to life as a zombie.
Leila Ransom
That's enough of that for long. Leroy, I want to ask you a question. Are you happy here in this house?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well. Well, sure. Yeah. Like it's fine, huh? You're not thinking of throwing me out, are you?
Leila Ransom
No. Leroy, I love you very dearly some of the time. What I want to know is, would you like it if we moved to some other house in another neighborhood and.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Not live near Piggy and the gang?
Leila Ransom
Well, you can still see him now and then.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, please, Unc. We don't want to move. It's swell here. Hello, Uncle Moore. What about supper?
Leila Ransom
Any minute, Marjorie. I was just talking to Leroy.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
You look peculiar, Uncle Moore. What have you done to yourself?
Leila Ransom
Nothing.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
It's his mustache.
Leila Ransom
Well, it gets awfully hot in the summer, Marjorie, so I just thought.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, I think it looks cute.
Leila Ransom
Well, thank you.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Hey, Maud, you don't want to move to a new house, do you? New house? Now, what's got under you? To me, nothing. It's Uncle Mort.
Leila Ransom
Leroy, I'll handle this.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
What is this? You're not thinking of leaving this house?
Leila Ransom
Well, not exactly, my dear. It was. Well, I just wanted to get your reaction.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, but, Uncle Maud, I've lived in this house for more than 20 years. Leroy was born here. I love it. I love every room. Every square squeaky board in the stairs, every rattle in the window.
Leila Ransom
All right, my dear, all right. I just thought you might like a little more room. The old Burton house, for instance.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Burton's? Oh, my gosh, Unc. It's got three acres of lawn. Uncle Mort, it's miles from anywhere.
Leila Ransom
Oh, it's not so far.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, I know why you're thinking about moving. Lela Ransom wants to live in the Burton house. That's what it is.
Leila Ransom
Oh, but Marjorie, it was just a suggestion.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I bet it was her idea, pulling with your mustache, too. I don't like that now, either.
Leila Ransom
Stuff is ready, my dear. If you don't want it, we won't move to the Burton house.
Birdie
My land. Did you say moving to Burton House?
Leila Ransom
Now, Birdie.
Birdie
Cause if you gonna live in that house, you have to revise your kitchen personnel.
Leila Ransom
Hooray. But, Bernie, what's the matter with the Burton House?
Birdie
Mr. Gil. Steve, I don't want you to think I'm superstitious, but that house is haunted.
Leila Ransom
It haunted? Why, that's nonsense. Whatever gave you that idea?
Birdie
Well, everybody knows that old Mr. Burton shot old Miss Burton in that house. And one time I was walking past it with a gentleman's friend, and we heard the scariest noise I ever heard in my life.
Leila Ransom
What kind of a noise, Birdie?
Birdie
Like something out of this world.
Leila Ransom
Leroy.
Birdie
That's the exact sound, Leroy.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Sure, that's the noise of a zombie that used to be a mummy.
Leila Ransom
Stop it, Leroy. That's horrible. Bertie, when you and your gentleman friend heard this sound, didn't he investigate?
Judge Hooker
No, sir.
Birdie
By the time he caught up with me, we was two miles away.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I'll go.
Leila Ransom
Yeah. Fine time for anybody to be calling on us.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, hello.
Leila Ransom
Bye, George. Here he is. It's suppertime again. Hello, Judge.
Mr. Peavey
I can't stay, Throckmorton. I stopped in to tell you I just found out the Burton estate would be willing to make a substantial reduction of.
Leila Ransom
Judge, I have decided not to go into that any further.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, so it was Judge Hooker's idea for us to move. What's going on here?
Leila Ransom
What do you mean, my dear?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Why is everybody trying to get us out of this house?
Mr. Peavey
Now, Marjorie, I just found out that the Burton estate is willing to make your uncle a very favorable offer.
Leila Ransom
Estate? By George, I begin to see. The light estates have executors, don't they, Judge?
Mr. Peavey
Why, of course they do, you darn fool. What's that got to do with it?
Leila Ransom
I dare say the executor of this particular estate would make a pretty penny in fees if this particular house were sold, would he not?
Mr. Peavey
It's just a set fee prescribed by statute.
Leila Ransom
Answer my question.
Mr. Peavey
I did.
Leila Ransom
All right. Now, who is the executor of this estate now?
Mr. Peavey
Guilty that's neither here nor there. It just happens this particular executor prefers to remain anonymous.
Leila Ransom
Oh, he does, eh? This particular executor wouldn't happen to be named Horace W. Hooker, would he? Horace Hooker?
Mr. Peavey
Well, it just happened.
Leila Ransom
Case dismissed. Let's get to dinner.
Judge Hooker
The great gilder sleeve will be with us again in a few seconds. Meanwhile, if you've noticed that it's a case of first come, first served at your neighborhood grocery store, you've probably taken a hint and plan your shopping early in the day and early in the week. That's the best way to provide variety and balance in family meals. And it's also good insurance that your dealer will have on hand the outstanding red stamp values. Like parquet. The quality margarine made by Kraft. Parquet sells very fast these days. And no wonder.
Leila Ransom
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Judge Hooker
The people have found that for just five red ration points, they can buy a pound of a fine tasting spot spread for bread that's also a delicious seasoning for cooked vegetables. They've learned, too, that parquet margarine is a real flavor shortening for home baking and that it's grand for pan frying. Now, if the growing popularity of parquet margarine in your neighborhood, combined with wartime shortages, have made your dealer supply run out, asking for parquet again soon for Craft is doing everything possible to keep all dealer supplies. Ask for parquet the Vitamin A fortified energy supply spread, spelled P A R K A Y park a margin. Now let's get back to Summerfield, where a picnic seems to be afoot. It's a lovely Saturday morning, and Leela Ransom, who proposed the idea, has promised to lead the way to an ideal spot, complete with Brooklyn.
Leila Ransom
Come on. Come on, Leroy. And watch that hook.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Okay, Birdie, get ready to cook. Plenty of fish tonight. You've never tasted fish like I'm gonna catch.
Birdie
No. And you ain't never caught him.
Leila Ransom
Come on, leroy. I told Mrs. Ransom I'd be over there at 11:30.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I'll be right with you. Let me see now. Have I got everything? Fishing rod, reel, bait, hooks. Bobber.
Leila Ransom
Come on, come on.
Judge Hooker
Scout.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Knife, canteen, folding camp kit. Where's my camp kit?
Leila Ransom
Leroy, we're only going for the afternoon.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I don't know. Oh, here it is. Our spyglass compass.
Leila Ransom
Compass. The place is only a mile from here. We can't get lost.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Flash, I forgot my flashlight.
Leila Ransom
Leroy, we will be back before supper.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I know.
Leila Ransom
I'd just like to take it.
Birdie
That Leroy sure gets excited. He's gonna burn himself out before he's 15.
Leila Ransom
What does he want to drag all that stuff along for? I'm late now, Mr. Gilsley.
Birdie
You sure you don't want me to pack nothing for you?
Leila Ransom
No, birdie. Mrs. Ransom said she wanted to make you lunch.
Birdie
Yes, I just wondered. Does she know your capacity?
Leila Ransom
Well, I wouldn't worry much about that.
Birdie
You wouldn't want me to just wrap up a few pieces of chocolate cake? I got one just fresh out the oven.
Leila Ransom
You have, huh? Well, that sounds mighty good, Freddie. I might just call her up and ask her, huh?
Birdie
After all, you gotta have something to keep body and soul together.
Leila Ransom
Yeah. Hello? Lela Coogee. I just called, huh? Oh, we will, Leela. We'll be right over. I'm just waiting for Leroy. He's gone to find a. Huh? Oh. Oh, I see. I guess I misunderstood, Leela. Oh, sure, sure. I think it'd be nicer that way. I'll fix it.
Birdie
Oh, that's Leroy coming in on the wing. And a prayer.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
All set, Unc. Let's go.
Leila Ransom
Oh, Leroy, I'm afraid there's been a little misunderstanding, my boy. It's my fault. I. You see, I thought you were invited.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
You mean I can't go with you? I can't go on the picnic?
Leila Ransom
It's all my fault, my boy, and I'm sorry.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Gosh. Never even used my folding camp kit.
Leila Ransom
I know. And I'll make it up for you, Leroy, some way. You see, Mrs. Ransom and I have a lot of things to talk over. You know, about the weddings and such.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Yeah. It's okay, Unc. It's okay.
Leila Ransom
I'll tell you what. Why don't you get Piggy and go on a picnic of your own?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, it's an idea.
Birdie
Leroy, you come with me. I'm gonna fix you up a nice picnic lunch with all the things you like.
Leila Ransom
Yeah, do that, Birdie. That'll be great, huh, Leroy?
Birdie
Yes, sir. And ain't no grownups gonna get none of that chocolate cake neither. No matter how Much. They come begging around.
Leila Ransom
Oh, now, Bertie, just one little piece.
Birdie
No, sir, not one. Now, you go on out of here and leave me and Leroy alone.
Leila Ransom
I'm going, Birdie. By George, I envy you, Leroy. All that delicious cake. I wish I were going with you and Piggy. That's what I wish.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I wish you were, too, Uncle.
Leila Ransom
Have a good time.
Birdie
Gosh now, Leroy, it wasn't your uncle's fault.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I know. I know whose fault it was. Invites you to a picnic and then changes her mind. What a character. I bet she's gonna drag him out there and try to sell him that house again.
Birdie
Oh, my goodness.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Don't worry. She won't get away with it. Martin, don't you want me to help you carry that heavy old basket?
Leila Ransom
Why, this is nothing at all, Leela. I could carry it with my little finger.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, don't try. There's a Thermos bottle in it. Oh, you don't mind if I stop in here for a minute at the drugstore?
Leila Ransom
Oh, not at all.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I'll get all freckly if I don't. And you wouldn't love me with freckles on my nose, would you, Thrasma?
Floyd
Well, hello, Mrs. Ransom.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Morning, Mr. Peasy.
Floyd
And Mr. Gildersley. Quite a little gathering.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Lovely day, isn't it, Mr. Peavey?
Floyd
It is indeed. Well, I see you're carrying a picnic basket there, Mr. Gildersley.
Leila Ransom
Yeah, yeah.
Floyd
Picnic basket, going on a picnic.
Leila Ransom
Yeah. Peavey, your positive?
Floyd
I wouldn't say that Mrs. Peavey is the psychic member of the family.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Mrs. Peavey is psychic?
Floyd
Off and on, yes. She has what is called second sight.
Leila Ransom
Second sight? That stuff is a lot of buck.
Floyd
Well, now, I don't know, Mr. Gildersleeve. Mrs. Peavey does some pretty strange things. She often sees things that are coming.
Leila Ransom
Did she see you coming.
Floyd
Mr. Gilbert? Speed. But I'll tell you, one experience of hers is pretty hard to explain. Mrs. Peevey had a dream one night.
Leila Ransom
Everybody has dreams. I have them all the time.
Floyd
I know.
Leila Ransom
Even cats have dreams.
Floyd
I wouldn't care to dispute you on that, Mr. Gilbert, please. But I was telling you about Mrs. Peavey. She dreamed one night that there was a very bad thunderstorm. Yes, well, As a housewife, Mrs. Ransom, I don't have to tell you what a thunderstorm does to milk.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Turns it sour.
Floyd
Exactly.
Leila Ransom
I suppose the next morning you woke up and the milk was sour.
Floyd
No, stranger than that. The next morning, the milkman delivered us a bottle of buttermilk by mistake.
Leila Ransom
Peevy, I wouldn't have Believed it? If you hadn't told me yourself.
Floyd
That's not all. The night Mrs. Peavey dreamed about the thunderstorm. There was a thunderstorm.
Leila Ransom
Oh, so she wasn't dreaming at all.
Floyd
That's what I say. There are a lot of things in this world you can't explain.
Judge Hooker
Peavey.
Leila Ransom
If you believe that, you believe anything. I suppose you believe in ghosts, too.
Floyd
Well, I wouldn't say that, but I wouldn't say I don't either.
Leila Ransom
I suppose you believe this story about the old Burton place now being haunted.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
The Burton place?
Leila Ransom
Haunted?
Floyd
Well, people have heard some strange things going on in there.
Leila Ransom
Why, nonsense. Just because a man happens to murder his wife. What's strange about that?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Murder?
Leila Ransom
Well, that was some years ago. Leila, don't tell me you're superstitious, too.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Of course not, Throckmorton. Don't be silly. Well, shall we be going?
Leila Ransom
Oh, yes, let's get started.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, gracious. I'm forgetting what I came in for. I'd like a jar of your cucumber sunburn cream, please.
Floyd
Sorry, Mrs. Ransom, but we've had a little more demand for that than we expected. We? We've just run out of it.
Leila Ransom
Oh, you must have run out of second sight at the same time. Pe. Goodbye.
Floyd
Goodbye, folks. Having nice picnic?
Leila Ransom
Lea, you're wonderful. You know, I never realized you were such a wonderful cook.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Why, the only thing we had that was cooked Frogmorton was the hard boiled egg.
Leila Ransom
I know, but they were wonderful.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, I must say, I never saw a man put away so many. Are you sure you had enough?
Leila Ransom
I couldn't eat another thing. Why? Have you got some leftovers?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
No. Well, what should we do now? I'll tell you what. I'll race you down to the brook.
Leila Ransom
Oh, Leila, race. I couldn't.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I'll bet you can't catch me from all.
Leila Ransom
Oh, don't, Leela. I'm too full. Come back over here and lie down on the grass beside me.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
All right, then.
Leila Ransom
Right here, huh?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, this is nice. Look at those clouds up there. Aren't they beautiful?
Leila Ransom
Uhhuh.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Like little woolly lions.
Leila Ransom
Uhhuh.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Doc Marten.
Leila Ransom
Uhhuh.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
What are you. What are you thinking?
Leila Ransom
I wish I'd eaten one less.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, this is no time to be thinking about pickles. Isn't it gorgeous up here on this hill?
Leila Ransom
Oh, yes, it is.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
And isn't it a gorgeous view?
Leila Ransom
Yes, it is gorgeous.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
And that little clump of trees down below there with a white house nestling among them.
Leila Ransom
Gorgeous.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Throckmorton, you know what I believe that's the Burton house, huh?
Leila Ransom
Yeah, I guess it is.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
What do you say on our way home, if we stop off and just peek into it?
Leila Ransom
Now, Lela, you know what you said.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I know, but we have to pass there anyway, just for a minute.
Leila Ransom
We couldn't see anything, Leela. The board, it's all boarded up.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Yes, I suppose it is. You know what I believe? Wait till I look in my handbag. Yes, sir. Now, what do you think of that?
Leila Ransom
What?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I just happen to have a key to the house. Judge Hooker left it with me. Now, isn't that a coincidence?
Leila Ransom
All right, let's get it over with.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Frog Martin.
Leila Ransom
Yes, Leela?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Come in here. Come see what I found.
Leila Ransom
Oh, where are you?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
In here.
Leila Ransom
Looks as if somebody's broken in here, Leela. All this mess around.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Now, wait a minute. Close your eyes.
Leila Ransom
Why?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
I want this to be a surprise. Let me take you home.
Leila Ransom
No tricks now.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
All right, open them. Now, this would be your den.
Leila Ransom
Looks like the House of Representatives to me.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Don't you like it?
Leila Ransom
It's too big, Leland. The whole place is too big.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, but I think it has charm, Trout. Martin. I think it has definite charm.
Leila Ransom
Yeah, it has gloom, too. It's as dark as your hat in here.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Well, the shutters are closed.
Leila Ransom
I know, but I like a place with plenty of light, Leela. I like a place with people around. Did.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Did you hear something just then?
Leila Ransom
Sounded like something falling.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Drock Martin, where did he do it?
Leila Ransom
Where did what, Mr. Burton?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Where did he shoot Mrs. Burton?
Leila Ransom
How do I know? I wasn't there. I mean here.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, this time I know I heard something.
Leila Ransom
Don't get frightened. After all, you're with me.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, I wish we'd never come in here. I wish I'd listen. It's in that closet. What? Whatever it is, it's in that closet.
Leila Ransom
Yeah.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Take me out of here. Take me out of here.
Leila Ransom
All right, Lena. But first I'm gonna lock that thing in the closet.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, darling.
Leila Ransom
No, I'm not afraid. There.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, Rod. Martin, come quickly, please.
Leila Ransom
Never fear, my dear. As long as you're with me, you've got nothing to be afraid of. Shall we go?
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, yes. I never want to come near this house again as long as I live. Come on, Throgmorton. Let's get away from this awful place.
Leila Ransom
Leila, you stay here. Now that you're safe, I'm going back in the house.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Leave me alone here.
Leila Ransom
Oh, you'll be perfectly safe here. And I'm going back there and find out what that was.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Oh, s. Martin, I wish you wouldn't remember.
Leila Ransom
If anything happens, Judge Hooker has my will.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Now, be careful, you hear?
Leila Ransom
I'll bet that kid was scared to death when he heard me lock the door. That he thought I was never coming back. All right, Leroy, you can come out now. Leroy. Leroy, Come out of there. Leroy. It's empty. That's funny. Could have sworn it was Leroy. Sounded like Leroy. Oh, my goodness. Leroy.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
Leroy. Oh, what a character. Yeah. Good night, everybody.
Judge Hooker
Music heard on this program was on the direction of Claude Sweep. If you'd like to see pictures of the Great Gilder Sleeve and some of the members of the cast, they're in the current issue of Radio Mirror. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Crab Cheese Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Sleeve.
Leroy
One of the wartime problems you homemakers face is that of keeping meals from seeming skimpy. So here's a suggestion. When you're planning a vegetable dinner or when you have just a small amount of meat for the family, serve the vegetables or meat in a cream sauce in the center of a delicious macaroni and cheese ring. And make that ring the quick way with Kraft Dinner. Each Kraft Dinner package contains a special macaroni and some craft grated. Just seven minutes cooking and you have fluffy, tender macaroni with cheese goodness through and through. For the ring, you merely press the hot Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese in a mold for just a moment. Still easier is Kraft Dinner served as is without fixings. Kraft Dinner is nourishing, economical, and so good. A box of it gives enough macaroni and cheese for a family of four and takes just one single red ration point. Notice that one red ration point for Kraft Dinner. Ask your dealer for Kraft Dinner. Soon. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.
Leila Ransom
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Podcast Summary: The Great Gildersleeve 43-05-16 (082) Haunted House
Podcast Information
In this episode of The Great Gildersleeve, listeners are transported to the charming yet humorous world of Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve and his interactions with his spirited wife, Leila Ransom. The storyline weaves through domestic challenges, marital banter, and a touch of supernatural intrigue centered around the enigmatic Burton House.
The episode opens with Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve and his wife, Leila Ransom, in their cozy living room in Summerfield. The couple engages in a lighthearted discussion about their home, highlighting Throckmorton’s desire for a more stylish and modern environment.
Notable Quote:
Leila counters his concerns with practicality and affection, showcasing the dynamic interplay that defines their relationship.
Throckmorton broaches the idea of moving to the old Burton House, an impressive yet supposedly haunted estate on the outskirts of town. This proposition sparks significant tension, especially after Judge Hooker influences Throckmorton to consider the move for his political aspirations.
Notable Quotes:
Judge Hooker, portrayed by Mr. Peavey, reinforces the notion that the Burton House would elevate Leila’s social standing, subtly pushing the couple towards relocation.
A significant subplot revolves around Throckmorton’s humorous request for Leila to shave her mustache, aiming for a youthful appearance. This request leads to a comical scene at the barbershop, highlighting the era’s norms and the couple’s affectionate ribbing.
Notable Quotes:
The scene not only provides comic relief but also deepens the portrayal of their marital relationship, emphasizing mutual respect and love.
The narrative takes a suspenseful turn as Birdie, a local character, claims the Burton House is haunted. She recounts eerie noises and the tragic history of Mr. Burton shooting Mrs. Burton, adding a layer of mystery and tension to Throckmorton’s desire to move.
Notable Quotes:
Throckmorton dismisses these claims initially but becomes increasingly intrigued, setting the stage for the episode's climax.
Defying Leila’s reservations and armed with a key left by Judge Hooker, Throckmorton convinces Leila to accompany him to the Burton House. Their exploration reveals signs of a break-in and mysterious noises that escalate the suspense.
Notable Quotes:
Inside, they encounter inexplicable sounds, heightening the supernatural elements of the story. Throckmorton’s fear contrasts with his determination, illustrating his complex character.
As tensions rise, Throckmorton and Leila decide to leave the Burton House, their decision reaffirmed by the lack of tangible evidence of haunting. The episode concludes back at their home, where the couple reflects on their adventure with humor and mutual understanding.
Notable Quotes:
The finale emphasizes the strength of their relationship and the endurance of their bond amidst quirky challenges.
This episode of The Great Gildersleeve skillfully combines humor, domestic drama, and a touch of the supernatural to create an entertaining and memorable story. Through witty dialogue and charming character interactions, listeners are immersed in the delightful escapades of Throckmorton and Leila Ransom, reaffirming why The Great Gildersleeve remains a cherished classic from the Golden Age of Radio.
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [03:00]: "I was thinking you and I are going to have to go and look at furniture one of these days soon."
Leila Ransom [05:25]: "I just wouldn't be me without my mustache, Leland."
Birdie [12:49]: "Mr. Gil. Steve, I don't want you to think I'm superstitious, but that house is haunted."
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [25:35]: "I just happen to have a key to the house. Judge Hooker left it with me."
Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve [27:40]: "I never want to come near this house again as long as I live."
These quotes encapsulate the essence of the episode, highlighting key moments and character motivations that drive the narrative forward.