The Jell-O Show Starring Jack Benny 1941-01-05 - Christmas Gift Exchange

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: The Jell-O Show Starring Jack Benny (1941-01-05) – Christmas Gift Exchange
Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio

---

Episode Overview

This episode features a classic installment of The Jell-O Show starring Jack Benny, originally aired January 5, 1941. The main theme is the post-holiday banter among Jack and his regular cast, centering around the annual ritual of exchanging unwanted Christmas gifts, sharing holiday misadventures, recounting a comedic trip to the Rose Bowl game, and the show's trademark witty blend of sponsor plugs, musical numbers, and sparkling repartee. The overall tone is light-hearted and self-deprecating, with the cast poking fun at themselves and each other in a fast, quick-witted, and playful manner.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Christmas Gift Exchange Fiascos

• Jack’s Reluctant Returns:
  • Jack is caught by Don Wilson exchanging Christmas gifts at a department store.
  • ("I was exchanging some of my Christmas gifts." – Jack Benny, 03:08)
• Unwanted Gifts:
  • Don received three electric razors; Jack got 25 bottles of cologne.
  • Jack quips about throwing a cocktail party using cologne as a mix called a "Central Avenue lullaby." (03:45)
• Outlandish Presents:
  • Jack exchanged Phil Harris’s present because, "I'm too old for an Indian suit." (04:06)
  • Recalls Phil’s last year’s gift: a manhole cover, which Jack hung on his wall as “Home Sweet Home.” (04:28)

2. New Year’s Eve Adventures

• Jack’s Date with Mary:
  • Jack details an early evening with Mary Livingston, with playful debate about their activities and Jack’s supposed thrift.
  • Mary: "At 12:01, Jack put the horn in his pocket and said, let's go home, Mary." (05:00)
  • Mary pokes fun at Jack’s dancing: "That was the first time I ever did the Turkey Trot." (05:44)
  • Jack insists he was doing the La Conga, not the Turkey Trot. Mary: "I thought your rheumatiz was giving you the biz." (06:05)

3. Dennis Day’s New Year’s Hangover Myth

• Misleading Headaches:
  • Dennis arrives asking for aspirin, but clarifies, “I bumped it getting out of my car.” (06:31)
• Running Joke about Film Screenings:
  • Ongoing joke about Jack sending Dennis to see Jack’s movie every night to laugh at his picture. (07:01–07:29)
  • Dennis sings "I'm Gonna Round Up My Love." (08:08–10:35)

4. Names and Respect

• Titles and Familiarity:
  • Jack notes Dennis now calls him "Jack" instead of "Mr. Benny."
  • Jack: "I kind of like the idea of your calling me Mr. Benny. It adds a little dignity..." (10:59)
  • Mary teases Jack: "Do you want me to call you Mr. Benny, too?" (11:08)

5. Phil Harris’s Grand Entrance and Resolutions

• Phil Arrives Late:
  • Jack ribbing Phil about showing up late, suggesting a microphone installed at a pool hall. (12:31)
• Phil’s New Year’s Resolutions:
  • Phil resolves to cut out smoking, drinking, gambling, and staying up late—but won’t give up chasing women: "When they stop running." (13:15)
• Jack's Suggestion:
  • Urges Phil to learn more about music: "when you pick up a piece of paper...don't look at your boys and say, 'There's a spy around here.'" (13:36)

6. Jell-O Commercial Antics

• Don Wilson’s Sponsor Gags:
  • Don claims his 1941 resolution is to find new ways to tell people about Jell-O, such as listing flavors out of order and even saying "Look for the big red letters on the box" backwards. (14:25)
  • Mary’s quick-witted reply: "Say box beyond Letters read big before look." (14:34)
  • Jack: "Well, mouth my shot." (14:34)

7. Phil’s Absurd Expense Account

• Discussion of Trip Expenses:
  • Phil tries to get Jack to approve his extravagant New York trip expense account. (15:15 onward)
  • Jack puzzled by odd items:
    • Laundry for two weeks: 37 cents
    • Ice: $2.50
    • Bromo: $135 and again $100
    • Notably "I.G.R." for $45 ("I got robbed.") (16:58)
    • Elevator: $400 (15:29–17:21)

8. The Rose Bowl Game Misadventures

• Recap of the Day:
  • Mary narrates the group’s chaotic trip to the Rose Bowl with Jack's girlfriend Gladys, including slapstick moments and Jack's rising jealousy. (19:46–29:33)
• Gladys’ Popularity:
  • Multiple run-ins with “Leftys,” old friends, and even a hot dog vendor named Slapperman (24:03), all of whom seem to know Gladys, much to Jack’s distress.
• Comic Tension:
  • Jack grows increasingly jealous of Gladys's many male acquaintances, culminating in his decision to leave the game, feeling upstaged and frustrated.

9. Notable Musical Numbers

• Orchestra Performance:
  • The show includes musical performances, e.g., "Moon Over Tarzana" opening (01:05), "I'm Gonna Round Up My Love" by Dennis Day (08:08), “There’ll Be Some Changes Made” by Phil Harris and orchestra (19:18).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jack on exchanging Phil’s gift:
  • "I don't care whether I hurt his feelings or not. I'm too old for an Indian suit." (04:06)
• On Re-Gifting:
  • "He gives a darnedest Christmas present. Last year he sent me a manhole cover." (04:16)
• Jack’s dancing skills, Mary’s take:
  • "That was the first time I ever did the Turkey Trot." (05:44)
  • Jack retorts: "That wasn't the Turkey Trot at all. I was doing the La Conga." (05:51)
  • Mary: "I thought your rheumatiz was giving you the biz." (06:05)
• Phil's New Year's resolution on women:
  • Jack: "When are you going to cut out running after women?"
  • Phil: "When they stop running." (13:15)
• Don’s Jell-O pitch reversal:
  • "Look for the big red letters on the box? Well, this year I'm going to say it backwards." (14:25)
• Phil’s expense itemization:
  • "I.G.R. $45." – Jack: "What's this?" Phil: "I got robbed." (16:59)
• On Gladys’ familiarity:
  • Jack: "Another Lefty. Don't you know anybody that's right handed?" (27:04)
• Jack, defeated:
  • "Well, that's the last straw. I'm leaving. I'm not even going to stay and see the game." (29:13)
• Mary’s Comeback:
  • "So there you are, Tom. That's exactly what happened at the Rose Bowl game on New Year's Day." (29:27)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:01] – Jack and Don discuss returning Christmas gifts
• [04:06] – Jack explains exchanging the Indian suit from Phil
• [05:44] – Mary's quip about Jack's dancing
• [06:31] – Dennis’s headache and the running cinema joke
• [08:08] – Dennis Day sings "I'm Gonna Round Up My Love"
• [12:31] – Phil Harris arrives; New Year's resolutions banter
• [14:25] – Sponsor ad is comedically recited backwards
• [15:15] – Examining Phil’s expense account
• [19:46] – The recap of the Rose Bowl game day begins
• [24:03] – Encounter with hot dog vendor Slapperman
• [27:04] – Jack gets jealous over "Lefty"
• [29:13] – Jack storms out of the game in jealousy

---

Additional Observations

• The episode showcases the archetypal Jack Benny persona: thriftiness, easily wounded pride, gentle self-mockery, and comic jealousy.
• Mary Livingston plays the perfect sardonic foil with sharp one-liners.
• Phil Harris represents the roguish charmer, with a devil-may-care attitude.
• Dennis Day is the lovable, naïve junior, often missing the joke but providing memorable musical interludes.
• The show’s structure naturally accommodates sponsor plugs as comedic elements, keeping energy high and transitions smooth.

---

Conclusion

This episode is a prime example of the Jack Benny Show’s ensemble chemistry, clever self-parody, and gentle lampooning of mid-century American traditions. It delivers an enjoyable mix of witty banter, situational comedy, and nostalgic charm—a time capsule from radio’s golden era that still amuses with its sharp writing and cast interplay.

---

Transcript

[A]

Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. But for millions of businesses, Shopify is the ultimate partner. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Build a stunning online store with Shopify's ready to use templates, boost content with AI powered product descriptions, page headlines, and enhance photography. Marketing is easy with built in tools for email and social media campaigns. Plus, Shopify simplifies everything from inventory to shipping and returns. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com try go to shopify.com try shopify.com.

[B]

The jello program starring jack benny with mary livingston, phil harris, dennis day and yours truly, don wilson. The orchestra opens a program with moon over tarzana.

Bright and gay and so exciting, quick and thrifty and inviting. Full of flavor, rich and mellow.

[C]

All together.

[B]

This spells Jello. Yes, friends, Jello is certainly an all around good dessert. It's a dessert that has everything. Rich, shimmering colors that tell you here's a mighty swell treat and a world of grand, intriguing flavor. Flavor so pleasing, so refreshing, so downright satisfying that it rivals the real juicy, ripe fruit. It's Jello is easy to prepare too. One of the simplest and quickest desserts.

[D]

You can possibly serve.

[B]

And of course you can treat the family to a delightful Jello dessert for only a few pennies. So order Jello tomorrow, choosing any or all of Jello's six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon or lime. Incidentally, strawberry and raspberry Jell o are now better than ever. Both have a new, improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base, artificially enhanced. Try these grand flavors and enjoy Jello's rich, distinctive goodness. Serve a tempting mold of Jello tomorrow.

That was move over to our that up right by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this being the 5th day of January, we bring you a man who is still doing his Christmas shopping.

[D]

Jack Benny.

Thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking. And Don, when you saw me in that department store yesterday, I wasn't shopping. I was exchanging some of my Christmas gifts.

[B]

Well, that's quite a coincidence. I was doing the same thing. Would you believe it, Jack? Three different friends gave me electric razors.

[D]

You think that's bad? I got enough bottles of cologne to have people whistle at me for the next ten years.

No kidding, Don. I must have gotten 25 bottles of that stuff.

[B]

What are you going to do with it all?

[D]

I gave it to Rochester, and he's going to throw a cocktail party.

He mixes it with orange ice and calls it a Central Avenue lullaby.

But when you saw me in that store down. I was only exchanging the gift Phil Harris gave me.

[B]

You were?

[D]

Why?

[B]

Phil told me he gave you a lovely present.

[D]

Oh, it was lovely, yes, but I don't know. I didn't feel right in it.

[B]

Oh, well, you shouldn't have exchanged a Jack. You'll hurt his feelings.

[D]

I don't care whether I hurt his feelings or not. I'm too old for an Indian suit.

I don't know what's the matter with Phil. He gives a darn it's Christmas present. Last year he sent me a manhole cover.

Imagine, a manhole cover.

[B]

Oh, yes, I remember that. What'd you ever do with it, Jack?

[D]

What could I do? I put Home Sweet Home on it and hung it on the wall. And I wish you could have seen. What the. Oh, hello, Mary.

[E]

Hello, Jack. Happy New Year, Don.

[C]

Same to you, Mary.

[D]

What about me? No wonder you wouldn't thank me for the swell time I showed you. New Year's Eve. You didn't even phone me.

[E]

I want to do it big. I'm going to hire a sky rider.

[D]

It won't be necessary, you know, Don. I took Mary to the Wilshire bowl, and boy, was I raring. At the stroke of 12, I grabbed a horn and blew the old year right out.

[B]

You did, huh?

[D]

Yep.

[E]

And at 12:01, Jack put the horn in his pocket and said, let's go home, Mary.

[D]

The only reason I suggested going home early was because I didn't want to have a hangover the next day. A hangover?

[E]

From what?

[C]

Breaking balloons?

[D]

Listen there. Don't try to give the impression that I'm an old dodo. I was the life of the party. I had you on that dance floor every minute.

[E]

Anything to keep me from eating.

[D]

You ate, sister.

Believe me. You had the special T bone steak with French fried potatoes and choice of two vegetables, including tax, $1.29. No. Very well. You had a swell time.

[E]

Okay, I had a swell time.

[D]

You darn tootin.

[B]

Say, Mary, is Jack a good dancer?

[E]

I couldn't tell. That was the first time I ever did the turkey Trot.

[D]

That wasn't the turkey Trot at all. I Was doing the La Conga.

[E]

The La Conga?

[D]

Yes. Couldn't you hear me going, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

What'd you think that was?

[E]

I thought your rheumatiz was giving you the biz.

[D]

That was very funny, Mary. You know, I wonder why you and Phil don't quit this program and get one of your own. Harrison Livingston every week an audition.

You're too smart for this show. Oh, Hello, Dennis.

[C]

Hello, Mr. Benny. Happy New Year.

[D]

Same to you, kid.

[C]

Is anybody an aspirin? Oh, boy, what a head I got.

[D]

Why, Dennis, I'm ashamed of you.

[C]

I bumped it getting out of my car.

Oh.

[D]

Oh, I see.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[D]

That's all right. You can bump your head.

I thought you meant you'd been celebrating too freely. By the way, Dennis, where did you go New Year's Eve?

[C]

I went there. Don't worry.

[D]

Oh, okay. Say, I wonder what's keeping Phil.

[E]

You went where, Dennis?

[D]

Never mind.

[C]

I went there every night just like.

[D]

You told me to. All right, all right. Say, Don, have you seen Dennis?

[E]

Where have you been going every night?

[D]

Mary, it's none of your business.

[C]

It's a good picture, all right, but, gee, I can't laugh all the time.

[D]

Dennis, please.

[C]

I'd rather go back to mowing your lawn.

[D]

Now, Dennis, I don't want to hear another word about it.

[E]

Why, Jas, Benny, do you mean to say you've been sending the kid downtown to laugh at your picture every night?

[D]

Mary, I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, Dennis, it's time for your song, so let's have it.

[C]

My girl laughed at Fred Allen, but don't worry, I kicked her.

[D]

Now, Dennis, everybody's waiting for your song, so let's have it, please. What's it gonna be?

[C]

A brand new number called I'm Gonna.

[D]

Round Up My Love. That'll be fine. Go ahead. And by the way, if your girl thinks Fred Allen is so funny, get another one. Mary, stop looking at me like that. Do you hear?

[C]

Oh, brother.

[D]

That kid wouldn't babble so much.

[C]

I'm a roaming cowhand Singing as I ride.

O' er my gal on a stone Searching and needing her by my.

[D]

Side.

[C]

I'm gonna round up my love.

Gonna win Part one Night.

In the prairie moonlight.

I'm gonna round up my.

[B]

Love.

[C]

Gotta make all agree.

Who belong to only me.

Then together we'll ride high.

And together we'll sing along.

Side by side Roaming the rain we'll call.

I.

Gonna laugh to my girl.

Gonna make Her my pal.

I'm gonna round up my life.

Yippie iffy I ride by.

Roaming the range we'll gonna laugh through.

[B]

My cat.

[C]

Gonna make up my heart.

I'm gonna run up.

My.

[D]

That was I'm gonna round up my love sung by Dennis Day There you are. Dennis, that was swell. You were in very good form.

[C]

Thanks, Jack.

[D]

Jack.

Why, Dennis, what's come over you? You've always called me Mr. Benny.

[C]

Well, I saw so much of you last week. I feel like we're all friends.

[D]

Oh, I see what you mean. But you know, Dennis, I kind of like the idea of your calling me Mr. Benny. It adds a little dignity to the program and shows your respect for me.

[E]

Do you want me to call you Mr. Benny, too?

[D]

That won't be necessary, Mary.

[E]

Gee, I can call him Jack.

[D]

And now, folks, wait till the girls.

[E]

At the May Company hear about this.

[D]

Now, wait a minute. Don't get smart, Ms. Livingston.

[E]

Oh, do call me Mary.

[C]

Now, cut that out.

[D]

You asked me a question, I answered it. Now let's forget it.

[F]

Believe me, the family that takes the Internet on vacation.

Is the family that finds a better beach.

In peak crab mating season.

Be prepared for anything with an ESIM from Airalo. An ESIM is a digital SIM card built into your phone. Download the Airalo app, activate your ESIM and get online in minutes, anytime, anywhere. No more surprising roaming fees, weird public WI Fi or fiddly plastic. Just super connectivity at your fingertips. That's Airalo. A I R A L O. The world's most powerful esim provider, loved by 20 million savvy vacationers. It's as essential as packing your bathing suit for the beach. Don't get caught in a pinch. Pack the Internet. Download Airalo today. That's a I R A L O Airalo. And use code crab for 15% off. Your first ESIM terms apply.

[D]

Well, look who finally breathes in. Hiya, Jackson. Am I late? No, Phil. We realize that taking up a half hour of your valuable time once a week is quite an imposition. Now, hold on, Jackson. In fact, Phil, I think that next Sunday I'm going to have a microphone installed across the street in the pool room. So you can say, hi, you folks without putting your cue down.

[B]

Would you.

[D]

Would you care for that? Now, before you ball me out, Jackson, I want to tell you that I'm a changed man. You're looking at the new Harris. Oh, I am, eh? I'm not kidding. On January 1st, I made a resolution. I'm gonna cut out smoking, cut out Drinking, cut out gambling. And I'm gonna cut out staying up so late. Well, I'm glad to hear it. When are you going to cut out running after women? When they stop running.

I thought so. Well, Phil, here's another resolution for you. During this New Year, why don't you learn something about music? You mean I should be like Sakowski? No, Phil, all I ask. All I ask is when you pick up a piece of paper that has lines across it and little black dots.

[B]

All over it, don't look at your.

[D]

Boys and say, there's a spy around here. This stuff is in coal.

Little as they know it embarrasses them. Okay, Jackson, that'll be another one of my resolutions.

[B]

Speaking of resolutions, Jack, I've resolved that during 1941 I'm going to find new ways to tell people about Jell O.

[D]

You are, kiddo? Yes.

[B]

Instead of telling them about strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime, I'm going to mix them up and say strawberry, lime, raspberry, lemon, orange, cherry and oh, oh, the.

[D]

And at the end, gee, they'll never dream at the old Jello show. Anything else, John? Yes.

[B]

Remember how I always used to say, look for the big red letters on the box?

[D]

Uh huh.

[B]

Well, this year I'm going to say it backwards.

[D]

Oh, for heaven's sake.

[C]

Say box beyond Letters read big before look.

[D]

Well, mouth my shot.

John. That's a very novel idea.

[B]

Oh, thanks, Jack.

[D]

I'm awfully glad you like it. I'll see you get a raise for that. Backward.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we will have a number by Phil Harrison as orchestra, who will play it not backward, not forward, but in their usual manner. They will start in the middle and blast both ways.

All right, Phil, let's have it.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Say, by the way, Jackson, I got my expense account on our New York trip all made out. You want to see it now? No, Phil, I'll look it over later. What is the total up to? 3,400.

Let me see that expense account.

[B]

There you are.

[D]

I got the whole thing itematized.

Itematized? You don't mind, I'll look it over. Let's see here. Hotel room, $42 a week. That's reasonable. Meals for two weeks, $63. That's very reasonable. You don't have to read it, Jackson. It's in perfect shape. I'll just give it a quick glance. Now, let's see.

[E]

Hey, Jack, look. There's one item you can't complain about.

[D]

Where?

[E]

Right there. Laundry for two weeks, 37 cents.

[D]

Oh, yes. That's not bad, dad. Let's see what else he has here. Bottle opener, 10 cents.

Ice, 250. Bromo, 135 dollars.

What do you want us to play, Jackson? Wait a minute, Bill. I'm not through yet. Taxi cabs, 11:50. That's okay. Charles Bagby, musical arrangement for orchestra. 37 cents.

37 cents.

[E]

That must be the same guy that does his laundry.

[D]

Yeah. See what else is here. IGR, $45. $45.

[B]

Phil. What's this?

[D]

IGR. I got robbed.

My goodness.

[C]

You don't expect me to pay for that.

[D]

You don't expect me to pay for that, do you?

[C]

Oh, what are you beeping about?

[D]

I never even charged you for bailing out my guitar player. Oh, well, that's very sweet of you. Now, let's see. Well, here we are again. Bromo, 100.

[C]

Bill, you and I will talk this.

[D]

Whole thing over later. In the meantime, let's have a band number.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Look at this next item, Mary. Elevator, $400. What could he want with an elevator?

[C]

That was.

[D]

There'll be some changes made. Played by Phil Harris and his orchestra, where there will be some changes made.

And, Phil, getting back to your New York expense account, it's a ridiculous total. And I'm not paying for all of your hilarity. Okay, Jackson, but as long as we're on the subject of dough, how about that 50 bucks I won from you.

[B]

From the Rose bowl game that you.

[D]

Can take to court?

I didn't see the game, Phil. So the bet's off. I thought you'd squirm out of it.

[B]

Jack. I thought you told me you weren't going to the Rose bowl game.

[D]

I did go, but I. I didn't stay.

[E]

Tell him what happened, Jack.

[D]

Mary Don wouldn't be interested.

[B]

Oh, yes, I would.

[D]

What happened, Mary?

[E]

Well, John, it was like this.

[D]

There's a woman for you.

[E]

Jack got the tickets and told us to meet him in front of Tunnel 16 at 1:30 1:30.

[D]

1:30.

[E]

Well, anyway, Phil, Dennis and I took a cab. But when we got to the bowl, Jack wasn't there yet. So we waited and waited and waited. You should have seen a crowd down there. Were thousands of people.

[D]

Programs, programs. Names and numbers of all the players. Program.

[C]

Miss?

[E]

No, thanks. Come on, fellas, let's go in.

[D]

We can't go in. We gotta wait for Jackson.

[C]

Yeah, he's got the tickets.

[D]

I don't see why he didn't come with us.

[E]

Well, you know how romantic Jack is. He's bringing his Girlfriend Gladys to the game and they're driving out alone in the Maxwell.

[B]

Say, that little waitress ain't so bad.

[D]

Looking when she gets dressed up. I think that Jackson's stuck on her.

[E]

You said it.

[C]

Yeah, he said it.

[E]

Janice, why don't you go get lost in the crowd?

[C]

Don't think I couldn't.

Hey, look, Mary.

[D]

Ain't that Jack and Gladys coming this way?

[E]

Oh, yes. Jack would be wearing a beanie. And get a load of that fur coat on Gladys.

[D]

Gee, Gladys, I never saw you looking so good. You're sure pretty when you're all dolled up.

[E]

Thanks, Speedy.

[D]

I mean it. Get your programs here. Program, mister? 15 cents.

[E]

Oh, Speedy, can I have a program?

[D]

You're darn right you can. Here's a half a dollar, buddy. Keep the change. Oh, boy, now I get my toupee out of Hawk.

[C]

Well, here's the game, Gladys. Hi. You fellas all set for the game?

[D]

I've been waiting on you, Jackson.

[B]

Come on.

[D]

Say, Gladys, you know Mary and Dennis, don't you?

[E]

Sure. Hello, everybody.

[C]

Hello.

[E]

See, Gladys has a pretty fur. You clap it yourself.

[D]

You know darn well I gave it to her for Christmas. Oh, pardon me, honey. Do you know Phil Harris?

[E]

Do I?

[D]

Hiya, Gladys. I'll have a ham on rye.

[C]

Now, Phil, shut that out.

[D]

Not working today. Come on, fellas, here's our gate. Let's go.

[C]

Tickets. Tickets.

[B]

Hold your own stubs, please.

[D]

There you are.

[C]

Oh, hello, Gladys.

[E]

Hello, Eddie. How are you?

[C]

Fine. Taking your old man to the game?

I'm not her old man. I'm her fella.

[D]

Come on, sweetheart. Say, where's Dennis?

[C]

I'm stuck in the turnstile Now.

[D]

Push it a little, for heaven's sake. Here's tunnel 16 over this way. Oh, yeah.

[E]

Hey, Gladys, are you still working at the Shamrock Cafe? No, I'm at a drive in now. Speedy thought I ought to be outside where it's healthier.

[D]

Darn right. What's the use of being in California and not enjoy the sun? It's great for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I wish I could get off the night shift.

[D]

You will, honey. Well, here's the entrance, kid.

[C]

Say, look who's here. Hiya, Gladys. Happy New Year.

[E]

Same to you, Lefty.

[D]

Lefty. Who's that fresh guy, Gladys?

[E]

Lefty Flanagan. Boy, can he drive a truck.

[D]

Can imagine.

[C]

Hey, look, there's a hot dog stand.

[D]

Let's see. Yeah. You want a hot dog, Gladys?

[E]

I'm not hungry right now.

[D]

Okay, we'll get him inside.

[E]

Better get one now, Gladys.

[D]

You know, Speedy, that's Speedy.

All right, I'll go over to buy the hot dogs. Everybody wait here so you won't get lost.

Hey mister, five hot dogs, please.

[C]

Five puppies coming up. Oh, hello. Slavery like slapper.

Well, of all people.

[D]

Slapperman, are you running a hot dog stand now?

[E]

Look at my signs.

[C]

That's your boy. All the hot dogs you can eat for 10 cents.

[D]

That's fine, but how can you make money with an offer like that?

[C]

Taste one and you're chasing the answer.

Oh, they're.

[D]

They're pretty tough weenies, eh?

[C]

That suitcase handles they would make.

[D]

Well, they still look good to me. Give me five of them.

[C]

Okay. What kind of mustard do you want?

[D]

Mustard?

[C]

What kind? Yeah, sure. I got strong Mile and channel number five.

[D]

Oh, mile, I guess. How much do I owe you?

[C]

5 hot dogs. 50 cents.

[D]

Well, that's fair enough. Here's a dollar.

[C]

Here's a quarter. Thanks for the tip.

[D]

You're welcome.

[C]

So long, Slap. So long. Get a curette hot here.

[E]

You ain't cap till you dine with sl.

[C]

Well, here you are kids.

[D]

Take your hot dog.

[E]

Thanks, Jack. Here's my dime.

[D]

Keep it. Everything's on me today.

[E]

See, I'm thirsty. What are we gonna drink with our hot dog?

[D]

Here?

[E]

Ya.

[C]

Gladys, put that back in your pocket.

Phil, just for once, why don't you.

[D]

See a football game where four teams aren't playing?

Now, where's Dennis? He'll be back in a minute.

[E]

Oh.

[C]

Well.

[D]

Well, he's. He's got his own ticket. Let's go in. Here's the tunnel.

[E]

Gee, it's dark in here, huh? So dark in here.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Say, Stevie, remember the time we went through the tunnel of love at Ocean Park?

[D]

Oh, Gladys, for heaven's sake, cut it out.

[E]

Oh, I'm sorry I slapped you, Gladys.

[C]

It's all over. Forget it.

[D]

Now. Come on.

[C]

Subs, please.

[D]

There you are. Right this way.

[C]

Oh, hello, Gladys.

[E]

Hello, Nick. Where you been keeping yourself?

[C]

Oh, I've been around. Where you been?

[D]

Come on, come on, show us our team.

[C]

Listen, Gladys, you have to talk to.

[D]

Every fella you meet.

[E]

Oh, sweetie, you're so jealous.

[D]

I'm not jealous.

[C]

Here are your seats, mister.

[D]

Thanks.

Say, these, these seats are all right, aren't they?

[C]

Yeah, right on the old 40 yard line.

[E]

Say, Jack, who's playing here today?

[D]

Two of the finest teams in the country, Stanford and Nebraska.

[E]

Then why did your pen and say love thy neighbor on?

[D]

I gotta weigh something, don't I? You know, I kind of like Nebraska. Well, I'm for Stanford. You want to make A little bet, Jackson? Yeah, I might.

[C]

Hey Gladys, how are you? Oh, there's Lefty Gordon. Hello, Lefty.

[D]

Another Lefty. Don't you know anybody that's right handed?

[E]

Well, I used to go with him.

[C]

Used to? Used to?

[D]

You're going with me now. I wish you wouldn't talk to everybody. Hey Jackson, what about that vest? Okay, Phil, you've got Stanford and I've got Nebraska.

[C]

Oh yes, pal. Is this 6 second old pal? Old pal?

[D]

Oh, fine.

Yes, a young man has it. He'll be here in just a minute.

[C]

Oh, don't mention it, pal. Hey friendly, yours is a friend of mine.

[D]

This would happen to me. How much so you want to bet, Jackson? Any amount you say, brother. Just name it. Okay, 50 bucks. H50, eh?

[E]

Take another number.

[D]

K. Oh no. If he wants to bet 50 bucks, it's okay with me.

[C]

Quiet, quiet. I want to hear the game. The game hasn't started yet. No thanks, I never touch it.

[D]

How can you talk to a guy like that?

[E]

Look Jack, here comes the Nebraska team.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[D]

See there a husky bunch of fellows.

[E]

Yeah, listen to that crowd.

[D]

Yes sir.

[C]

You know Gladys, I'll bet there are 90,000 people here. That's terrible. Many thousand people without a home.

Oh my.

What are you talking about?

They've got homes. They're here for the game. Oh no. You're just saying that because I'm your pal. You're not my pal. I never saw you before. No sign. I never trust.

You Know why I.

[D]

Always run into one of these guys? Ignore him, Gladys.

[E]

I am Gladys. Old pal, old pal.

[C]

Don't you dare speak to her. Here, hold my coat.

[D]

Mary.

[E]

He's on the floor already. What do you want?

[D]

Well he can't talk like that.

[C]

Hey look Jackson, here comes that good.

[B]

Old Stanford team out on the field.

[D]

Those boys look pretty good too, don't they Gladys?

[E]

Oh, they're a swell bun.

[C]

Hello, Samus.

What?

[E]

Well I'll be darned. She knows the whole team.

[C]

Well, that's the last straw. I'm leaving. I'm not even going to stay and see the game.

[E]

Oh Speedy, calm down.

[C]

Calm down nothing. And let me tell you something else, Gladys. The next time you go out with me and say hello to every Tom.

[D]

Dick and Harry we meet, remember?

[E]

So there you are, Tom. That's exactly what happened at the Rose bowl game on New Year's Day.

[B]

Zach really lost his head, huh?

[E]

He sure did.

[D]

Okay, I'm a fiery jealous nature. What can I do? Play, Phil.

[B]

Okay, Speedy.

Friends before dessert. Is dinner tomorrow? Why not? Serve the family a real surprise, something delightfully different like Apple Snow Jello, a delicious combination of cold, spicy applesauce and crimson raspberry jello. Or try Apricot Pecan Layer, crunchy pecan meats and golden canned apricots molded in shimmering orange jello. These are just two of the many grand treats that you'll find described in the new Calendar of Desserts book. In this big 48 page recipe book, you'll discover 365 suggestions for all kinds of novel and tempting desserts, pastries, puddings, cakes, cookies and of course, lots and lots of swell desserts made with delicious jello. And this unique calendar of dessert desserts is just as beautiful as it is useful, too, full of lovely paintings and handsome photographs and brilliant, glowing colors. So be sure to send for your copy right away. Just mail 10 cents. Just 10 cents in coin or stamps to me, Don Wilson, care of General Foods, Battle Creek, Michigan and this handy day by day recipe book will be forwarded to you at once. Don't wait until Tomorrow, friends. Send 10 cents for your copy tonight.

[D]

We're a little late, so good night folks.