The Jimmy Durante Show – "Goes To The Race Track"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: September 21, 2025 (original broadcast: Feb 25, 1948)
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Theme:
A classic episode centered around Jimmy Durante’s legendary humor and mishaps as he deals with insomnia, contemplates his (comic) political prospects, and heads for an outing at the racetrack with friends. Packed with wordplay, vaudevillian banter, and signature musical moments, it’s a nostalgic romp through the very best of Golden Age radio comedy.

1. Opening and Main Theme

01:00 – 01:59
The show opens with fanfare and a musical performance of Jimmy’s signature song, emphasizing the importance of starting each day with cheer.

Quote:
"Isn't it better to go through life with a smile and a song than walking around with a face 11 miles long?"
— Jimmy Durante (02:31)

2. Political Banter and Insomnia Woes

03:00 – 08:20

• Political Satire:
  Jimmy details a $100-a-plate dinner in Washington attended by political big wigs, blending topical humor of both Republicans and Democrats.

  • Memorable exchange:
    • Jimmy: "How would I know? I only had seven bucks with me. I had to eat out of a saucer. What a dirty look I got from Truman's dog." (03:21)
    • Jimmy jokes about a smear campaign:
      "They say I'm illiterate, incompetent and immaterial. And I regard that as a libel. Libel? Yeah. They're liable to prove it." (05:23)
    • Jokes about Dewey vs. Durante:
      "I admit I've got a nice profile, but Dewey's got a whole face. Comes in handy for pictures that are taken from the front." (05:42)

• Durante’s Insomnia:
  Jimmy recounts his struggle to sleep with classic slapstick. His elaborate bedtime routine is constantly interrupted by his cat and a late-night delivery, culminating in an extended comic monologue.

  • Quote:
    "I'm an insomaniac in the advanced stages. ... I'm all ready for the sandman when I hears a noise." — Jimmy Durante (06:08)

3. Sponsor Moments (Rexall)

08:20 – 09:59 & 18:50 – 19:59

• Rexall spotlights are woven throughout, with comical offhand comments from Durante:
  • "Very nice, Mr. Petrie. But you neglected to mention that my picture is in the window of every one of those Rexall stores right next to a bottle of nose drops." (09:13)

4. Comic Guests and Remedies for Sleep

10:02 – 14:34

• Victor Moore’s Entrance:
  Victor arrives with trademark confusion and witty wordplay.

• Professor Schultz offers a phonograph cure for insomnia:
  Jimmy jokes, "Sounds all right, but won't I have to wake up to turn off the record?" (11:57)

• Victor’s Milk Remedy:
  "Every night I drink three glasses of warm milk. One pasteurized, one homogenized and one terrorized."
  — Victor Moore (12:16)
  With terrorized milk explained as "from discontented cows who didn't want to let go." (12:31)

5. Peggy Lee’s Appearance and Musical Interlude

14:14 – 16:39

• Peggy Lee shares her secret to feeling great: a day at the racetrack.

  • "Ah, you poor thing. Jimmy, what you need is some fresh air and relaxation. I went out to the racetrack yesterday and I feel terrific." (14:34)

• Musical Performance:
  Peggy Lee provides a breezy song about vacationing in Brazil:
  "But you don’t have to know the language, with the moon in the sky and the girl in your arms." (16:39)

6. At The Racetrack: Antics and Mishaps

20:08 – 28:35

• Setting Out:
  Inspired by Peggy and a free pass, Jimmy and Victor head to the racetrack.

• Horse Talk and Auction Gags:

  • They comically misunderstand a racing form, confusing a horse’s stats with its owner and vehicle makes.
  • Jimmy accidentally 'buys' a horse named Free Pass for $3,300, learning suddenly about stable fees:
    "The horse has a $700 food bill? Where does this horse eat? At the Macombo?" (24:06)
  • Hot Breath Houlihan appears, offering to help their horse 'win' by spiking its feed with drinks:
    "I'll put a martini in his oats, a Manhattan in his hay and a bucket of champagne in his water trough." (25:54)

• Betting Mix-Up:
  Inspired by the hunch that their horse Free Pass (number 10) will win, Jimmy insists:
  "With a hunch like that, my 3300 is practically right back in my pocket." (26:58)

  • Race results are narrated with mounting excitement as Free Pass wins, but in a classic comic twist:
    • "I said four tickets on number 10. You got me four tickets on number 10, didn't you?" — Jimmy
    • "No. I got you 10 tickets on number four." — Victor (28:21)

7. Heartfelt Closer and Tribute

29:04 – 30:35

• Howard Petrie delivers a heartfelt message: Jimmy is honored with a "heart of gold" from the Mount Sinai Duarte National Medical Center for his years of charity.
  "Because down through the years, you have given your time, your money and your heart to the less fortunate. When your friends pay tribute to you tonight, they are honoring not only America’s favorite comedian, but one of America’s favorite people." (29:31)

• Jimmy responds, uncharacteristically sincere:
  "To everyone connected with the Mount Sinai Duarte Medical center, thanks. Thanks from the bottom of my heart." (30:19)

8. Noteworthy Quotes & Banter

• "Victor, the nose is the covers. If I could plug it, I'd have the biggest electric blanket in town." — Jimmy Durante (13:44)
• "Wait a minute. I'm not a horse." — Jimmy Durante (21:25)
• "That's a woman for you. Always looking for a bargain." — Jimmy Durante (23:29)
• "Attention, Eastern states. We just solved your heating problem." — Jimmy Durante, on Hot Breath Houlihan's entrance (24:22)

9. Key Musical Moments

• Opening song: “You Gotta Start Off Each Day With a Song” (02:00)
• Peggy Lee’s "You Don’t Have to Know the Language" (16:39)

10. Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:00 – Durante’s theme song & monologue
• 03:15 – Political satire
• 06:08 – Insomnia routine
• 09:13 – Rexall spoof (Durante’s picture in drug stores)
• 10:02 – Victor Moore’s entrance
• 14:14 – Peggy Lee joins, suggests the racetrack
• 16:39 – Peggy Lee musical number
• 20:08 – At the racetrack
• 23:21 – Jimmy accidentally buys a horse
• 27:35 – The big race
• 28:16 – Betting mix-up revealed
• 29:31 – Heart of Gold tribute
• 30:19 – Durante’s gratitude

Summary

A vintage celebration of Jimmy Durante’s comic persona featuring rapid-fire jokes, affectionate ribbing among regulars Victor Moore and Peggy Lee, surreal wordplay, a farcical horse-racing adventure, and heartfelt appreciation for Jimmy’s real-world generosity. The show’s musical interludes and recurring gags (“Good health to all from Rexall!”) offer a vibrant snapshot of radio’s golden age—full of character, spirit, and warmth. Don’t miss the classic betting blunder and the genuine tribute to one of America’s favorite performers.