The Johnson Wax Program With Fibber McGee and Molly 1942-12-22 - Listening To Christmas Carols

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly

Episode: Listening To Christmas Carols (Aired 1942-12-22)
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: December 16, 2025

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Episode Overview

This classic episode of "Fibber McGee and Molly" broadcasts just days before Christmas, 1942, and captures the hustle, bustle, and gentle humor of the holiday season in a wartime America. Fibber McGee is grumpy about the commercialism of Christmas, but is surrounded by reminders—his wife Molly, friendly neighbors, and even a group of carol-singing children—of the season's true, sentimental spirit. Through playful banter, misadventures, and a heartfelt rendition of "The Night Before Christmas," the episode celebrates warmth, nostalgia, and community, with a poignant message for listeners separated by war.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Christmas Grumpiness and Sentimentality

• McGee's Yearly Complaints:
  McGee laments about Christmas being "too commercial" and insists he’s immune to holiday sentiment.
  • “Christmas shopping, Christmas shopping, Christmas shopping. Every year the same thing makes me sick.” – McGee [02:22]
• Molly’s Perspective:
  Molly gently mocks McGee's gruffness, knowing he always turns sentimental at the last minute.
  • “You howl and scowl and the day before Christmas the spirit hits you like a baseball bat…” – Mrs. McGee [02:30]
• Underlying Softness:
  Despite his protests, McGee reveals he cares deeply, gifting a doll to the neighbor girl (although he claims it’s just to “bribe her to leave him alone”).
  • “Now listen, McGee, you're a fraud. You're a pony. Why you're so scared somebody will find out you're sentimental. You act like a dead end, kid.” – Mrs. McGee [03:12]

2. Drop-in Visitors and Running Gags

• Billy Mills’ Breezy Visit:
  Band leader Billy Mills pops in with holiday cheer (and jokes about being a “poor man’s Toscanini”). McGee riffs about musicians following bandleaders only for payday.
  • “What keeps them together? That check at the end of the week.” – McGee [07:41]
• The Little Neighbor Girl (“Sis”)
  A recurring child character visits, requesting Christmas carols, cookies, and milk, and tries various schemes to amuse (and exasperate) McGee.
  • “Do you like to hear children sing Christmas?” – Molly [08:39]
• Jokes about Past Kindness:
  Molly points out McGee’s pattern of compassionate gestures toward the girl, stacking up evidence that he is, in fact, a softie.
  • “You gave her a white rabbit for Easter. Well, I took her to the circus twice. Spent three days fixing her tricycle…” – Mrs. McGee [04:22]

3. Wartime Context and Homefront Realities

• Air Raid Warden, Wartime Economy:
  There are references to the “busy week before Christmas” involving air raid warden duties and keeping prices down—direct nods to 1942 America.
  • “Us doorkeepers have got a full ceiling prices so people won't have to pay too much for stuff…” – Molly [13:49]
• Community and Sacrifice:
  The holiday is placed against the backdrop of shared sacrifice and a yearning for peace.

4. Carolers and "The Night Before Christmas"

• Children’s Caroling Attempts:
  The neighborhood children are persistent in their wish to sing for McGee, who initially resists but eventually gives in.
• The Reading:
  The children deliver “The Night Before Christmas,” with contributions from the cast, switching voices to tell the classic poem [22:13 – 26:01].
  • “Was the night before Christmas and all through the house…” – Molly & Children [22:13]
  • “He was chubby and plump all right Jolly old, jolly old Nelson that. A laugh and a laugh and a laugh. … Like a bowl full of jelly. Ho, ho.” – Narrator [24:40]
• Emotional Release:
  McGee, moved by the performance, jokes about wanting to “give away everything I own” whenever he hears carols.
  • “Here, take my money and my watch. You know me. Every time I hear these things, I want to give away everything I own.” – McGee [22:07]

5. Touching Wartime Message and Holiday Wishes

• Reflection on Worldwide Peace:
  The ending turns reflective as McGee and Molly acknowledge the hardship of soldiers far from home, express hope for future Christmases, and extend prayers for peace.
  • “Even while we wish you a merry Christmas, we can't help thinking that in many parts of the world the spirit of goodwill toward men has been made a shame and a mockery. But there’ll be other Christmases. And to our men in uniform all over the world we send our prayers and our thanks…” – McGee [27:37]
  • “And we hope and pray that when next Christmas comes there will really be peace on earth.” – Mrs. McGee [29:28]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• McGee's Grumpy Sentimentalism:
  • “Sentimental? My clavicle. The whole thing is a lot of tapioca.” – McGee [03:22]
• Child Logic on Economy:
  • “My daddy told me… not paying 10 cents for a lollipop that's worth only 5. Because then I'm bidding against somebody that can only pay 5 cents for a lollipop.” – Molly [14:21]
• “Scoonoopy” – A Classic Fibber Game
  • “You run home, hide in the closet and put your hands over your eyes and count up to 79 minutes. Oh, and then by that time we'll both be so old we'll have forgotten what we started out to play!” – McGee [15:02]
• A Child’s Reassuring Wisdom:
  • “Oh, it's okay, mister. I know how you feel. Thanks for the cookies. And thanks.” – Molly [20:50]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:18] – McGee begins to air his anti-commercial Christmas stance
• [04:07] – McGee’s true kind nature is revealed through Molly’s teasing
• [06:09] – Billy Mills’ visit and banter about musicians
• [07:57] – The neighbor girl’s first attempt to rally up carolers
• [13:09] – Discussion about wartime price controls and homefront economy
• [19:06] – Mrs. Huffington (in disguise as Santa) shares her delight at bringing joy
• [20:08] – Molly prepares to leave, McGee’s real feelings are revealed
• [22:13 – 26:01] – Full reading/singing of “The Night Before Christmas”
• [27:37] – McGee’s poignant message to soldiers and prayer for peace
• [29:28] – Molly joins in hope for peace the next Christmas
• [29:35] – Warm goodnights and closing wishes

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Tone and Original Language

The tone is a blend of sharp-tongued but loving marital banter, slapstick comic timing, earnest wartime patriotism, and old-fashioned American nostalgia. The characters riff affectionately, puncture each other’s pretenses, and ultimately reaffirm their hearts (and the enduring spirit of Christmas).

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In Summary

This episode captures the quintessential Fibber McGee and Molly holiday: humor, gentle social commentary, and heart. Beneath McGee’s yearly complaints is a longing for connection, especially resonant in 1942’s war-touched season. The readings, listeners’ reminders from the homefront, and closing messages linger with warmth, hope, and a promise for peace.

To quote McGee:

“But there’ll be other Christmases. And to our men in uniform all over the world we send our prayers and our thanks… Thank you and God bless you.” [27:37]

Transcript

[McGee]

Molly.

[Narrator]

The makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson Self Polishing Blow coats present Baba McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn with music by Billy Mills Orchestra. And featuring tonight, a very special musical score written by Ken Darby, arranger and director of the King's Men. And the door opens with who? If there were any instrument like a thermometer for measuring increased activity and hustle and bustle around the house, it would certainly kick over the traces. In this week before Christmas, what was shopping and cooking and tree trimming and being an air raid warden. Besides, there's certainly lots to be done. But in spite of how busy you are, you still want your home to look its best for the holidays. Have you ever stopped to think how useful wax is at such a time? Truth is, if your floors, furniture and woodwork have been regularly protected with genuine Johnson's Wax, that special holiday cleaning can be done in short order. A quick dusting and polishing, a touch up with wax where needed. And your rooms are glowing with mellow beauty, ready for the visits of your family and friends. For over 50 years, Johnson's Wax has helped brighten homes at the Christmas Eve.

[Mrs. Huffington]

God.

[Narrator/Poet]

Was a couple of nights before Christmas.

[Narrator]

And all through the house at 79 Westful Vista, not a creature was stirring. Except Fiber McGee and Molly.

[Molly]

Mcgee.

[Mrs. McGee]

I don't like to seem repetitious, but hadn't you better get your Christmas shopping done?

[McGee]

Oh, Christmas shopping, Christmas shopping, Christmas shopping. Every year the same thing makes me sick.

[Mrs. McGee]

Yes, I know, dear. We go through this every year.

[McGee]

What you mean?

[Mrs. McGee]

You howl and scowl and the day before Christmas the spirit hits you like a baseball bat and you do everything but grow beard and climb down chimneys.

[McGee]

Well, geez, Christmas is getting too commercial. It's getting so sure.

[Narrator/Poet]

Sure.

[Mrs. McGee]

We ought to have rubber stamps made for this whole conversation.

[McGee]

What you mean?

[Molly]

Well, every year you say Christmas is getting too commercial.

[Mrs. McGee]

And every year I have to scold you for spending too much.

[McGee]

Who, me? I just spend what I have to to get by, that's all. I go along with the mob. It ain't any beautiful yuletide thoughts with me, baby. No tissue. Snow gets in my eyes. If I spend any dough, it's just because it's the easiest way out.

[Mrs. McGee]

Now listen, McGee, you're a fraud. You're a pony. Why you're so scared somebody will find out you're sentimental. You act like a dead end, kid.

[McGee]

Sentimental? My clavicle. The whole thing is a lot of tapioca. I wouldn't give a half hearted hoot and happinessack if I Never saw it. What you got there?

[Mrs. McGee]

This is the mail that came this morning. It's mostly just Christmas cards.

[McGee]

Let me see them.

[Mrs. McGee]

You wouldn't be interested. They're just the same old Christmas malarkey.

[McGee]

What do you mean, malarkey? Don't you realize people have gone to a lot of time and trouble to. Was there any other mail?

[Mrs. McGee]

Just a couple of bills. Incidentally, what's this item on the Bon Town bill for one mama dollar eight and a half.

[McGee]

Mama doll.

[Mrs. McGee]

Now listen, don't try to look so innocent. Not that I mind your playing with dolls if they're made out of plaster, but you certainly didn't buy this one for me, did you?

[McGee]

No, I bought that for the little girl across the street.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, I think that's very sweet.

[McGee]

It was not sweet. I'm giving it to the little pest as a bribe to stay out of my life.

[Mrs. McGee]

It's strange how much she annoys you, isn't it?

[McGee]

I never saw such a little nuisance always button in where she ain't wanted.

[Mrs. McGee]

I know you hate her so much that last year you gave her a $2 Valentine. You gave her a white rabbit for Easter. Well, I took her to the circus twice. Spent three days fixing her tricycle. And you did card tricks through her bedroom window when she had the mom.

[McGee]

Well, that don't mean I like her, does it?

[Mrs. McGee]

Doesn't it?

[McGee]

No. That was an old valentine that had been kicking around here for years. I gave her that rabbit because I thought it would annoy her old man. I fixed her tricycle so she could go someplace else besides around here. And I took her to the circus because they always give kids better seats than they do grown ups. And I was taking advantage of her helpless condition to practice my car tricks. And she never caught on. Thought I was doing it all for her.

[Mrs. McGee]

Come off it, dear. You're not fooling anybody.

[McGee]

I ain't trying to fool anybody. All I'm saying is that Christmas has lost its meaning. It's got so people don't come in. Hello, Mom. Hi, skimp. Well, if it ain't Billy Mills, the poor man's Toscanini.

[Mrs. McGee]

Hello, Mr. Mill.

[McGee]

Come on in. William, my boy, hang your hat on a hickory limb and don't go near the piano. What's confusing with the music? Kid just docked in to wish you a merry Christmas. Ah, Merry Christmas. Blah. What's merry about it? Walk your wedgies off in the slush to find a lot of junk for a few mugs that won't appreciate it Hanging a ton of gee gaws on a pine tree that look better in the woods. Scratch your hands all up on a handful of holly to hang in the window so you can stick yourself in the eye with it when you look out to watch the mailman breaking his back with a sack full of silver Christmas cards. Merry Christmas black and a happy New year.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, thank you, Mr. Meals, the same to you. And don't pay any attention to McGee. You know he goes through this act every year. He's got those don't wrap up that packet. Christmas is just a racket blues.

[McGee]

Ah, don't worry, Mom. I can read him like a book.

[Mrs. McGee]

What type of book?

[McGee]

He's a mystery. A very novel character.

[Mrs. McGee]

Fine type too. One of the lower cases.

[McGee]

Somebody ought to borrow him and not bring him back.

[Mrs. McGee]

Maybe we could arrange with the Book of the Month club to offer him as a special preview.

[Molly]

Cut it out.

[McGee]

Cut it out. Lay off, will you? Even if the rib was as prime as you think, this is a meatless day.

[Narrator]

Ever played the bagpipes, Alfred?

[McGee]

And don't call me Alfred. Okay, Joe.

[Narrator]

Ever played the bagpipes?

[Mrs. McGee]

I don't think he ever did, Mr. Mills. Do you think he could?

[McGee]

Sure got a head start. Big bag of wind. All he needs is a flute. Well, gotta be gone. Merry Christmas again. Well, the same to you, Oscar Looza Sousa. What's all the rush? Oh, I gotta drop in to see my mother in law. She's awol.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, you mean absent without leave?

[McGee]

No, a welder out at Lockheed.

[Mrs. McGee]

Isn't he a Wonderful band leader, McGee?

[McGee]

Ah, band leader Mike Clavicle. I think all of them are just a bunch of fakers myself. You ever see a musician looking at the leader? No. They don't know whether he's beaten out a march, a polka, a waltz or just SWAT and flies.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well then what keeps them together?

[McGee]

That check at the end of the week. Confidentially, one of them guys.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, I wonder who that could be.

[McGee]

Ah, probably somebody else coming in to wish us a merry Christmas. When all they really want to see is if you ever got those new curtains for the dining room.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, I didn't. And the same to them. Come in.

[Molly]

Hi, mister.

[McGee]

Oh, now this is all I needed today, Sis, Why don't you take your little sled and go out on the pond in the park?

[Molly]

Oh, there isn't any ice on it, mister.

[McGee]

Yes, I know he.

[Mrs. McGee]

Don't be like that. You were young once yourself, you know.

[McGee]

I wasn't that young this long.

[Mrs. McGee]

Be very tactful with him today, little girl. You know, his Christmas spirit is later than usual this year.

[McGee]

Well, doggone it, the whole thing is a very foolish arrangement.

[Molly]

Why, miss?

[McGee]

Why, the idea of having Christmas come right in the middle of the holidays. The new right when everybody is their busiest. It's ridiculous.

[Molly]

Look, mister, I got business to see you about.

[McGee]

Oh, yeah?

[Molly]

Do you like to hear children sing Christmas?

[McGee]

There's nothing I love more than to have a little group of childish voices stand outside my window and blat their melodious little brain. Particularly if I ain't home that night.

[Molly]

Oh, gee, mister, I got my whole gang outside and they're awful anxious to sing you a Christmas carol. And I tell them, well, I don't.

[McGee]

Like to hear Christmas carols butchered by a bunch of kids. How can anybody sing good? Standing hip deep in a snowdrift with a muffler over their face wondering how many fingers and toes they'll have left when they get home, if they ever do.

[Molly]

Maybe you're still mad on account of last year, are you, mister? Are you?

[McGee]

H. No, I'm not. That has nothing to do with it.

[Mrs. McGee]

What's this? What happened last year that I don't know about?

[McGee]

Oh, nothing, she said.

[Molly]

Well, us kids were going around singing Christmas carol.

[McGee]

Never mind, sis. That's ancient history.

[Molly]

Mr. McGee came out.

[McGee]

Never mind, now. Never mind. Give the kid a cookie, Molly. Imagine, she's kind of hungry. Hey, sis.

[Molly]

Oh, gee, thanks, mister. Anyway, Mr. McGee came up while we were this.

[McGee]

I told you nobody was interested. Now, let's just drop the whole subject. What kind of a cookie you want?

[Molly]

Any kind, thanks. And a glass of milk.

[McGee]

Well, I'll see if I can.

[Mrs. McGee]

Now, listen, what happened with the Christmas carols, dear?

[Molly]

And Mr. McGee came running out of the house.

[McGee]

Now, you cut that out.

[Molly]

And he wanted to sing with us. Only when we heard him sing, sing, we didn't want him to. And he followed us all over town. Gee, we couldn't get rid of him. And he kept trying to sing. And people threw things at us and all. It was awful.

[Mrs. McGee]

Ram. Sam.

[Molly]

And when the prince tried the slipper on Cinderella's horse. It fits your Sandy. And he said, gee, kid, you're cute. How'd you like to be a princess? And she said, oh, boy. And write testimonials for cold cream. And they got married and lived happy ever after. You want to hear another one, mister? Well, one sponsor.

[Mrs. McGee]

No, no, no, no.

[McGee]

That's enough, sis. Thanks anyway. You told me at least 14 of you.

[Molly]

Are you sure you don't want to.

[McGee]

Hear anymore I'm positive.

[Molly]

Okay then get off my lap.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, heavenly days, McGee.

[Molly]

What are you trying to do, crush the child?

[McGee]

Now she wanted to pretend I was her little boy and tell me some stories. Now I know why they call them Grimm's fairy tales. That's the grimmest half hour I ever spent in my life.

[Molly]

Gee, I thought it was fun.

[McGee]

No, you did. Well, personally I'd rather lie down with a couple good book under my head and go to sleep.

[Mrs. McGee]

Can't you two think up any more games to play?

[Molly]

I bet you I don't want to be fun.

[McGee]

I bet you what, sis?

[Molly]

Well, I could bring my little playmates in and we could sing you some Christmas cars. They must be pretty cold out there.

[McGee]

I don't want to hear any Christmas carols. Christmas carols are beautiful music. And to hear your little mob of half pint hep cats slaughter them would ruin my day. Very thought of those of kinds kindergarten contralos. Drives me to drink. Get me some root beer, will you Molly?

[Molly]

Yeah, me too. Hey, mister, let's play a star H shall we?

[McGee]

How do you play that?

[Molly]

Well, first you give me. Well, maybe about three dollars and change, huh?

[McGee]

Give you three bucks? Hey, what is this? First you eat two dozen cookies and then you want to borrow three bucks? You trying to put the bite on the hand that feeds you?

[Molly]

Oh, gee, it's lots of fun, mister. First we post a lot of ceiling.

[McGee]

I don't want to buy a ceiling. We got one.

[Molly]

This is different, mister. Us doorkeepers have got a full ceiling prices so people won't have to pay too much for stuff. And it keeps the cost of living down a reasonable level. And the prices won't go pig wild, hog wild. You know your own habits best, miss. Anyway, we gotta keep practice from getting our hands for the merchandise that's getting scarce. So after the wall we won't have in place, you see.

[McGee]

Hey, aren't you getting a little out of your depth, sis? What do you know about economics?

[Molly]

Oh, my daddy told me.

[McGee]

Oh, I see.

[Molly]

Yeah, we had a little heart to heart talk last night, he and I. Oh yeah. He says I'm at the age where I ought to know certain things. Like not paying 10 cents for a lollipop that's worth only 5. Because then I'm bidding against somebody that can only pay 5 cents for a lollipop. Besides, spend an extra nickel at ought to go tart or which will help pay for the war and give me a nest chicken afterwards.

[McGee]

You mean a nest egg.

[Molly]

By that time you ought to Be a chicken.

[McGee]

Well, be that as it may or may not be or not, Sis, we won't play store. I got a better game.

[Molly]

What?

[McGee]

Mrs. Scanubi, did you ever play Scooby?

[Mrs. McGee]

What on earth is Scoonoopy?

[McGee]

Oh, it's a wonderful game.

[Molly]

How do we play it?

[McGee]

Well, it's like this. You run home, hide in the closet and put your hands over your eyes and count up to 79 minutes. Oh, and then now by that time we'll both be so old we'll have forgotten what we started out to play, which is the object of the whole game. Now, I'll get your hat and coat and.

[Narrator/Poet]

Hello, folks.

[Narrator]

Merry Christmas. Oh, hello, little girl.

[Molly]

Hi, Mr. Wilcox. Hi. What did.

[Narrator]

I haven't got time to stop and talk. Just wanted to leave this little Christmas gift for Molly.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, heavenly days. Mr. Wilcox, you shouldn't have done.

[Narrator]

Oh, it isn't very much and don't open it before Christmas, but I think it's something you'll like.

[McGee]

I got one for you too, Junior, but it ain't wrapped up yet.

[Narrator]

Oh, that's okay, pal. Anytime. Remember, Molly, don't open that package before Christmas, because I want you to be surprised.

[Mrs. McGee]

I promise, Mr. Wilcox. My, it's wrapped beautifully.

[Narrator]

I wrapped it myself especially for you.

[McGee]

Shake it, Molly, and see if it rattles.

[Molly]

I bet you that wouldn't be fair of it.

[Narrator]

Of course it wouldn't. I want it to be a surprise. You just put it away till Christmas.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, I think I'm going to love it, Mr. Wilcox.

[Narrator]

I know you'll love it because millions of other housewives do. Because it's so easy to apply and.

[Narrator/Poet]

Shines as it dries to a beautiful mirror.

[Narrator]

Like polish in 20 minutes or less and saves hours of housework, to say nothing of eliminating old fashioned floor scrubbing. And boy, what it does for the looks of your kitchen lolium is amazing. But I won't say any more or I might give you a hint.

[Narrator/Poet]

Merry Christmas, all of you.

[Molly]

I wonder what it is.

[McGee]

Hey, sis, ain't it about time your mother ought to be worrying about why you don't come home? No, huh? Look, I've been very patient with you today. Now, now, now, why don't you do something for me?

[Molly]

Okay, mister.

[McGee]

Fine. Now come back maybe tomorrow and I'll have a surprise for you.

[Molly]

I got a surprise for you too, mister. I got some little friends outside are witnessing your.

[McGee]

How many times I got to tell you I don't like kids singing Christmas carols. I don't want to hear any I'll.

[Mrs. McGee]

Get it, deari well, if it's this.

[McGee]

Little girl's mother, Molly, tell her yes. Be right home. I hope.

[Mrs. McGee]

79 Whistle Vista, Miley McGee speaking. Long distance? Yes, I'll hold the phone. Yes?

[Molly]

Oh, is that you, Myrtle?

[McGee]

Hey, hey, that's no fair.

[Mrs. McGee]

How's every little thing, Myrtle? Well, what do you mean it is, huh? Who, Myrtle?

[Molly]

Your brother.

[McGee]

I hope it ain't funny.

[Mrs. McGee]

Went fishing through the ice, huh? Well, isn't he the lucky one?

[McGee]

What did he get, Molly?

[Mrs. McGee]

The cherry out of his planters Punch.

[Molly]

What you say, my?

[Mrs. McGee]

Yes, I'm ready. Hello? Well, for goodness sake, you're the last person in the world. What? Yes, he's fine.

[McGee]

Who is it? Who's it?

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, yes, indeed. We'd love to see you. Yes, do. And plan on having dinner with us.

[McGee]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, we'll be delighted. Well, thanks for calling. And we'll be expecting you next week.

[McGee]

Next.

[Mrs. McGee]

Goodbye, Mr. Gilder. Sleeve.

[McGee]

Gildersleeve.

[Molly]

I bet ya I remember him. I betcha he's the man who always laughs with his stomach.

[McGee]

Yeah, speaking in the vernacular, we call that a belly.

[Mrs. McGee]

Never mind. Mr. Gildersley says he's coming to visit us next week, and he'll be here for dinner.

[McGee]

Boy, ain't it wonderful and strange what some guys will do to get the extra pat of butter these days. But I'll be kind of glad to see the old flimp at that.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, dear. Come in.

[Molly]

Oh, dear. It's Mrs. Huffington. Hi, Ms. Elpington.

[Mrs. Huffington]

Well, hello, little girl. And good afternoon, Mrs. McGee and Mrs. McGee.

[Mrs. McGee]

Hello, Abigail.

[McGee]

Hi. Uppie. Won't you wiggle out of the minks and drape the frame on an orange crate for a spell?

[Mrs. Huffington]

Oh, thank you, no, Mr. Magee. I just dropped by to wish you.

[Mrs. McGee]

Both a very, very merry Christmas. Well, thank you, Abigail. The same to you. And take that sour look off your face, McGee.

[McGee]

Well, doggone it.

[Molly]

I guess he doesn't like Christmas very much, Ms. Huffington.

[McGee]

Well, is it my fault that Christmas ain't what it used to be? It's too commercial. My guy call McGee.

[Mrs. McGee]

He doesn't mean a word of it, Abigail. He's just an old softy who's afraid somebody will find out about him.

[McGee]

I'm never no such a thing.

[Molly]

You are too. I betcha you gave me $10 on a car. There are some little orphans in school who won't have any.

[McGee]

You keep out of it.

[Molly]

Okay.

[Mrs. McGee]

You don't have to hurry away, dear. Abigail, I was just going to make a Pot of tea? Oh, no, I can't stay, my dear.

[Mrs. Huffington]

You know, I still have two days work at Santa Claus at 14th and Oak Street. It's been such fun. Really quite an experience.

[McGee]

That costume on the beard really fools them, eh, Effy?

[Mrs. Huffington]

They really do, Mr. McGee. I've been at Santa Claus for two weeks now, and I've been given 23 cigars, seven hot tips on the races and business cards from two coffee leggers. Oh, well, it's been a rich experience. I deal younger every day. And as Mr. Magee will probably say, after I leave, no one can stand it better than I. Well, Merry Christmas.

[Molly]

Are you really gonna say that much?

[McGee]

No. And she might have given me a handful of them cigars people have been giving.

[Mrs. McGee]

Oh, Mickey, there's plenty of cigars in your humidum.

[McGee]

Okay, but if she wasn't so stingy, she might.

[Molly]

Why won't he let me and my friend sing a Christmas carol? Why won't he, Ms. McGee?

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, frankly, dearie, he'd love it. But he knows himself too well. When he hears those Christmas songs, he goes all mushy inside. Now, look, you pretend, research your feelings and make believe you're going home.

[McGee]

Hey, I hope somebody gives me a box of cigars for Christmas, because I only. Hey, what goes on here? What are you two whispering about?

[Molly]

She says I better go home, mister.

[McGee]

Huh?

[Molly]

She says you're mad at me because I want to have the kids singing Christmas carol.

[McGee]

Oh, now, I ain't mad exactly, sis. I just.

[Molly]

You are. I bet you and Gee, the kids have been out there in that cold all afternoon on a common.

[McGee]

No, no, no, no, no. Now, now, now, now, now, none of that, sis. Now, cut it out. The only reason I didn't want him to sing is. Well, gee. Wh.

[Molly]

Oh, it's okay, mister. I know how you feel. Thanks for the cookies. And thanks.

[McGee]

Hey, don't rush away like this, sis. My gosh, I'll listen to your old Christmas Carol if it means that much. I just got.

[Molly]

No, you don't like them.

[McGee]

I do too like them. I only.

[Molly]

You don't either like them.

[McGee]

I do too.

[Molly]

You don't.

[Narrator/Poet]

I do so.

[Mrs. McGee]

Yes.

[Molly]

No.

[McGee]

Now, look, sis. Here, here, take my handkerchief and wipe your nose.

[Mrs. McGee]

Thanks.

[McGee]

Now, bring in your half pint glee club and let them do their worst, which I imagine is pretty bad.

[Molly]

Oh, they're not bad. They're wonderful.

[McGee]

Okay, so they're terrific. Bring them in.

[Molly]

Hi. Hey, Kenny, Granny, Johnny, Buddy. Come on in. My, my.

[Mrs. McGee]

Well, what handsome little fellows. Hello, boy.

[Narrator/Poet]

Hello, Mrs. McGee.

[McGee]

What you gonna give us, kids?

[Molly]

The night before Christmas. And, gee, we rehearsed it like 60. Are you ready, kids?

[McGee]

Now I'm ready, Sis. No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, Molly, what's the matter again? Here, take my money and my watch. You know me. Every time I hear these things, I want to give away everything I own.

[Molly]

Was the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was staring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hope that St. Nicholas don't want to be there.

[Narrator/Poet]

The children were nestled all snug in their wee little bed While visions of sugar plums danced in their wee little hair. Mama and I and my cat have just settled down for a long. Win there's none. But I belong there I wrote such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter Away through the window I blew like a flash Tore open the shutters, Threw open the sat my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and a tiny reindeer With a little old driver so lively and quick that I knew by the way that it must be St.

[McGee]

Nick.

[Narrator/Poet]

All bundled in fur from his head to his foot Old Santa was covered with ashes and I drew in my head and was turning around when down the chimney he came with a bow.

[Molly]

His eyes, how they twinkled his dimples how merry. His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry his dry little mouth was drawn up like a bowl and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

[Narrator/Poet]

The stump of a little old pike he held tight in his teeth and the smoke went around and around and around his head like a wreath. He was chubby and plump all right Jolly old, jolly old Nelson that. A laugh and a laugh and a laugh. When a time in spite of myself. He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook 20 laughs ho, ho, ho. Like a bowl full of jelly. Ho, ho. He gave me a wink of his eye and a twist of his head that chuckle and a smile I knew all the while I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word but went straight to his work and filled all the stockings, oh, boy. And turned with a jerk and laying a finger the side of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he roars. He sprang to his sleigh to the sea gave a whistle and away they.

[McGee]

All flew like the town of a.

[Narrator/Poet]

Pissful But I heard him exclaim. Merry Christmas to all and to all good night.

[Molly]

Oh, is it gone Is the night.

[Narrator/Poet]

After Christmas and all through the house, Mother Christ creature is stirring. Not even the mouse. The presents are scattered and broken, I fear. And St Nicholas won't come again for a year. The children are nestle long warm in their wee little bed now memories of sugar plums dancing.

[Molly]

And we live.

[Narrator/Poet]

Mama in her kerchief and I in my cow are settled at last for a long.

[McGee]

Sa. It. Satan. Even while we wish you a merry Christmas we can't help thinking that in many parts of the world the spirit of goodwill toward men has been made a shame and a mockery. But there'll be other Christmases. And to our men in uniform all over the world we send our prayers and our thanks for what they are doing to restore faith and decency to our world. To them we say thank you and God bless you.

[Mrs. McGee]

And we hope and pray that when next Christmas comes there will really be peace on earth.

[McGee]

Good night.

[Mrs. McGee]

Good night, all.