The Lucky Strike Program Starring Jack Benny 1955-01-02- Rose Bowl Parade

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: The Lucky Strike Program Starring Jack Benny (1955-01-02: Rose Bowl Parade)

Podcast Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Original Air Date: January 2, 1955
Summary Date: December 31, 2025

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Episode Overview

This classic Jack Benny Program, unearthed by Harold’s Old Time Radio, transports listeners to the heart of post-New Year’s festivities in 1955. The episode captures Benny and cast recovering from New Year's Eve, preparing (or attempting) to present a more "sophisticated" show, and recounting their comedic misadventures at the legendary Rose Bowl Parade in Pasadena. With witty banter, running gags, musical interludes, and memorable recurring characters, this episode highlights the magic and chaos of live radio comedy in its golden age.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Sponsor & Opening Humor

Time: 00:02–03:16

• The episode opens with the signature Lucky Strike cigarette jingle and banter about its "toasted" flavor.
  • Don Wilson and Dorothy Collins lead the promotional jingle touting Lucky Strike’s superior taste (“It’s toasted to give you the best taste yet.” [00:11])
• Jack interrupts the rehearsing orchestra to address the band’s disorderly state after New Year’s Eve.
  • Notable gag: Musicians are still hungover; Bagby plays piano lying down, a clarinetist is blowing confetti, and the drummer is weaving around.
  • Benny: “Bob, I don’t expect them to come in sober after Groundhog day, but this is ridiculous!” [01:31]
• Jack orders “new rules” for the band for the new year, including the requirement of doctor or warden’s notes for missing rehearsal and a ban on drinking during performances.

2. Backstage Chaos & Diet Resolutions

Time: 03:17–06:13

• Don Wilson is nervous about his New Year's diet.
  • Benny deadpans: “When did you go on this diet?”
    Wilson: “I start tomorrow.” [04:12]
• Running joke about Don attempting to lose 100 lbs as a New Year’s resolution.
  • Jack: “The only time 100 pounds ever left your body was when you had your tonsils removed. Remember? They weighed 50 pounds each.” [04:30]
• Scripts arrive late, leading to a frazzled script clerk lamenting the lack of organization in the radio business, parodying the grind of mass live programming.
  • Script Clerk: “First they come with Amos and Andy script, then Our Miss Brooks, then Meet Millie, then your lousy script, and then Bing Crosby...” [05:41]

3. Sophisticated Comedy—Or Not

Time: 06:51–09:59

• Formal introduction: “The Lucky Strike Program starring Jack Benny…”
• Jack resolves to “forgive and forget” old debts and start the year with “sophisticated humor, suave and smart comedy,” ditching old routines, only to be instantly derailed.
• Dennis Day appears—announcing he’s ‘a different person this year’, having changed his name to Orange Julius, leading to a parade of identity gags.
  • Dennis: “I told you I’d be a different person this year.”
    Jack: “So you changed your name to Julius, huh?”
    Dennis: “Yeah, that’s my last name.”
    Jack: “What’s your first name?”
    Dennis: “Orange.” [09:05]
• Further, Dennis insists he is the “Australian wood wobbler,” who does bird calls instead of singing.

4. The Rose Bowl Parade Story

Time: 13:17–25:03

• Don asks Benny how he spent New Year’s Day; Jack recounts his trip to the Rose Parade with his date and Rochester.
  • Jack: “I set the alarm for 3:30 AM. At a quarter of four we picked up my date. By four o’clock we were on our way.” [13:32]
• Colorful depiction of pre-dawn grogginess:
  • Rochester: “Nothing. My eyes are still closed.”
    Jack: “Open them, you’re driving.” [13:56]
  • Gertrude: “At 4 in the morning even Liberace ain’t smiling!” [13:59]
• Revelations about Jack’s army surplus convertible (“This is the new one I bought at the Army Surplus Store. The flap still says ‘Field Headquarters General Ridgeway!’” [16:10])
• The car reaches Pasadena but is soon snagged in a traffic jam caused by the parade.

Musical Interlude: Lucky Strike Floats & Parade Song

Time: 17:13–18:45

• The parade, with Lucky Strike float and drum majors, arrives—cast members join in with a Lucky Strike promotional musical number:
  • “When you hear that drumming you know we’re coming and the Lucky Strikes are on parade...” [17:16]
• The group unintentionally becomes part of the parade after a float starts pushing their dead car.
  • Jack: “Smile, boss, smile. We’re in the parade. See?” [22:43]

Comedic Encounters Along the Parade Route

Time: 19:12–24:48

• Jack is stopped at a police barricade and discovers the officer is Mr. Kitzel, a beloved recurring character, moonlighting as a deputy for the parade.
  • Mr. Kitzel: “Every year for this parade, I am a deputy.” [20:56]
  • Jack: “Did you write many tickets?”
    Mr. Kitzel: “I wrote up my brother-in-law for speeding, making a U turn, loose brakes, a defective horn, and faulty headlights.”
    Jack: “That must have cost him plenty.”
    Kitzel: “Would have, but I couldn’t make it stick—he was walking.” [21:22]
• The car breaks down in the middle of Colorado Blvd, leaving Jack, his date, and Rochester stranded—until a parade float starts shoving their car down the street, making them unwilling parade participants. [22:37]
  • Bystander: “Mommy, what kind of car is that?”
    Mother: “I don’t know. Must be a foreign make.”
    Jack: “Madam, it’s not a foreign make. This is an American car.”
    Mother: “Not so loud. I want my boy to be proud of his country!” [23:57]
• More slapstick as they are stuck for “three hours” in the parade.
  • Rochester: “Happy New Year, everybody! Happy New Year!” [25:03]

5. closing PSA & Musical Curtain

Time: 25:24–27:20

• Jack issues a serious and now quaint-sounding PSA on fire safety: “One of our greatest national hazards is fire...Don’t smoke in bed.” [25:24]
• The Lucky Strike Toasting Song is reprised as a closing jingle.
• Jack delivers his traditional sign-off: “On behalf of my sponsor, my entire staff, I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year. Of course, everybody will be a year older—but not me. Goodnight, folks.” [27:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the band’s post-New-Year state:
  “Bob, I don’t expect them to come in sober after Groundhog Day, but this is ridiculous!” – Jack Benny [01:31]

• On New Year’s Diet Resolutions:
  Jack: “When did you go on this diet?”
  Don: “I start tomorrow.” [04:12]

  Jack: “The only time 100 pounds ever left your body was when you had your tonsils removed.” [04:30]

• On changing for the new year:
  Dennis: “I told you I’d be a different person this year.”
  Jack: “So you changed your name...”
  Dennis: “Orange. Orange Julius!” [09:05]

• Parade Mishaps:
  Jack: “Smile, boss, smile, we're in the parade!” – Rochester [22:43]

  Bystander Child: “Mommy, what kind of car is that?”
  Mother: “I don’t know. Must be a foreign make.” [23:57]

  Jack: “I just wanted to see the parade. I didn’t want to BE in it!” [24:43]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Lucky Strike Opening Jingle: 00:02–01:14
• Band New Year’s Chaos & New Rules: 01:14–03:16
• Don’s Diet & Script Room Panic: 03:17–06:13
• Jack’s “Sophisticated Show” & Orange Julius Gags: 06:51–09:59
• Dennis Day’s Song & Gags: 09:59–13:17
• Rose Parade Adventure - Setup: 13:17–16:24
• Arrival in Pasadena & Parade Begins: 16:24–18:45
• Enmeshed in the Parade: 18:45–25:03
• Fire Safety PSA & Musical Reprise: 25:24–27:20
• Final Sign-Off: 27:20–END

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Tone & Style

True to Jack Benny's wry, gentle humor, the episode dances between quick-witted banter, absurd situations, and satirical takes on showbiz, radio bureaucracy, and New Year’s traditions. The legendary recurrence of running gags—Jack’s stinginess, Dennis’ non-sequiturs, Rochester's deadpan, and escalating slapstick—deliver a lasting example of old-time radio’s comedic craft.

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For listeners interested in the flavor of 1950s American comedy, radio teamwork, and holiday misadventure, this episode is a classic slice of history, full of good-natured laughs and timeless jokes.

Transcript

[A]

The Jack Benny Program transcribed and presented by Lucky Strike. The cigarette that's toasted to taste better.

[B]

If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste yet. It's the toasted cigarette.

[A]

This is Don Wilson.

[C]

Friends.

[A]

Dorothy Collins. The sweetheart of Lucky Strike just gave you the key to deep down smoking enjoyment, better taste. And that's where a Lucky really clicks. A Lucky tastes better because lsmft. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Fine, light, naturally good tasting tobacco. And then that tobacco is toasted. It's toasted. The famous Lucky Strike process brings a Lucky's fine tobacco to its peak. Peak of flavor. Tones up a Lucky's naturally good tasting tobacco to make it taste even better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. So pick up a carton of better tasting Lucky Strike. I know you'll be happy if you go lucky.

[C]

Hold it, hold it, Bob. Hold it. Hold it, hold it.

[A]

Well, what is it, Jack?

[C]

Bob, it's almost airtime. Can't you do something about the orchestra? What's wrong with him? Nobody goofed. What's wrong with him? Look at Bagby's playing the piano lying down. Gridwell is blowing confetti through his clarinet. And look at Sammy the drummer weaving around up there. If he doesn't fall off that stand before the show's over, I'll eat my hat. Well, gosh, Jack, you didn't expect the boys to come in sober this soon after New Year's Eve, did you? Bob, I don't expect him to come in sober after Groundhog Day, But this is ridiculous. Look at him. We're starting a new year, Bob. And I want you to tell them those new rules we discussed. Now? Yeah, give him those new rules right now. Well, okay, fellas.

[A]

Look.

[C]

Attention, fellas, attention. Look, we're starting a new year, and we'll all get along a lot better if. I knew, I knew he'd fall off. Have Sammy up, will you boys now go ahead with the rules, Bob. Okay, Jack. Look, now, fellas, look. I'm sure that you all want to know just exactly where we stand. So listen carefully, will you? Now, rule number one. During the coming year, you will all be required to attend each and every rehearsal. And no excuse will be accepted unless it is signed by either your doctor or your warden. That's telling them. Rule number two. From now on, when I lift my baton, that's the signal for you to start playing, not drinking. I knew that one would go over big. Now, look, guys, before we go on the air. I know that you want to show Jack just exactly how good your face is. So if any of you happen to be in possession of a bottle of spirits, I would like you to throw it in this way.

[A]

Spec.

[C]

All right, now, let's get. Well, Remley dropped his in. Who's next?

[B]

Now, how about.

[A]

Hey, Jack, come on, will you come on?

[C]

Don, let go of my arm.

[A]

But we're going on the air in just a few minutes.

[C]

So we're going on the air. What are you so excited about? You've been jumpy all afternoon.

[A]

It's that diet my doctor gave me. I'm not allowed to eat candy, cake, pie, potatoes. Can't eat anything I like, and it's making a nervous wreck out of me.

[C]

Yeah, it's awful. When did you go on this diet?

[A]

I start tomorrow.

[C]

Well, Don, if it bothers you so much before you even started, maybe you better forget about it.

[A]

I can. I made a New Year's resolution to lose £100 this year.

[C]

How much?

[A]

A hundred pounds.

[C]

Don, I've known you for 23 years, and the only time £100 ever left your body was when you had your tonsils removed. Remember? They weighed 50 pounds each.

[A]

Oh, yeah. As soon as I came to, I had to get off the table so the doctor could lie down.

[C]

Yes, well, one minute till airtime, Jack.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Where are the scripts, Don?

[A]

I haven't got them.

[C]

Well, where are they? We're going on the air. Look, relax, Jack. Here comes the clerk from the mimeograph department. He's got him. Well, it's about time. Say, fellow, why are you always bringing in the scripts at the last minute?

[B]

Because I'm busy. I'm busy. Tasty.

[C]

But you had plenty of time.

[B]

Plenty of time, he says. It's not that easy. I gotta type this script, make the stencil, ink the machine, put the paper and turn the handle. I have to do everything myself.

[A]

I.

[B]

There's no organization. Nothing is organized. Look, take it.

[C]

Look, take it easy, will you?

[B]

Everything is a rush job. First they come with Amos and Andy script, then our Mrs. Brook, and then Meet Millie, and then your lousy script, And then be Crosby. I told you, there's no organization.

[C]

Look, I'm going on the air in a minute and I can't be bothered with your problems.

[A]

So go already. I'm going.

[B]

I'm going.

[C]

Goodbye.

[B]

Goodbye. See, he's so. He's so. He's so excitable.

[C]

Ooh, Now everybody hollers at me before Christmas. They're all such angels. Sometimes I think.

[A]

Jack, we should be on the air now. We're five seconds late.

[C]

Well, we can't be. The producer's supposed to give me the signal.

[A]

Where is he?

[C]

Why isn't he in the booth?

[B]

There's no organization.

[A]

Well, there he comes now, Jack.

[C]

Okay, hit it, Bob.

[A]

The lucky track program starring jack benny with mary livingston rochester, dennis a. Bob crosby and yours truly, don wil. Ladies and gentlemen, although New Year's Eve is behind us, the strains of Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgotten linger on. So right now I'd like to bring you one of the oldest acquaintances I know. And here he is, Jack Benny.

[C]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

Hello again.

[C]

This is Jack Benn. And Don, ordinarily I'd get back at you for that corny introduction, but we're starting a new year, so I'm going to forgive and forget.

[A]

You are?

[C]

Yep. I'm wiping the slate clean. And I'm gonna start by paying up all my old debts. Oh, Bob. Yeah, Bob, here's that quarter I borrowed from you last June when we ate at the drugstore. You remember that? Oh, yeah, thanks. Now how about that 10 bucks that I won from you on the Rose bowl game yesterday? Well, that's this year, so you'll have to wait until 1956. Jack Benny, that's not the year. No, no, Bob, we're not gonn bickering this year. The people are tired of insults, name calling and all that rowdy old hat comedy. From now on we're going to do only sophisticated humor. We're going to have suave. All right, let him lay there. Now, as I was saying, we're going to do suave, sophisticated, smart comedy.

[A]

See, I'm sure gonna miss Dennis.

[C]

No, no, I already discussed this with Dennis and he promised to be a completely different person this year.

[A]

Yeah, but Jack, do you think that.

[C]

Dennis can really change? Well, he said he would. And after the talk I gave him, I think he will. I know, if he puts it well. Hello everybody. Oh, hello, kid. We were just talking about you. How are you? Dennis. Dennis. How are you? Dennis, I'm talking to you. No, you're not. Then who am I talking to? Julius. What? I told you I'd be a different person this year. Oh, so you changed your name to Julius, huh? Yeah, that's my last name. Your last name is Julius. What's your first name? Orange.

[B]

Now cut that off.

[C]

Orange Julius. Imagine naming yourself after a drink. Oh, I was going to call myself Lipton Tea, but I didn't know what the T stood For. Stop it, will you? Here it is, the first show of the new year.

[B]

Right away.

[C]

You got to aggravate me. I don't know why I even talk to you. Now, let's just have your song. Sorry, Julius doesn't sing. What? But he does bird calls. He's the Australian wood wobbler.

[B]

I don't care what he does.

[C]

Just say, orange Julius. Some sophisticated show I'm running. In the shoemaker's shop this refrain would never stop they tapped away Working all the day at his bench There was he just as busy as a be Little time to lose with his boots and shoes but his heart went pop Inside the little shop When a lovely girl set em all a whirl she had come to choose some pretty dances and he heard her say in a charming way Shoes to set my feet at Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing all the day Shoes to set my feet at Dancing, dancing, dancing all my cares away Then he tapped and he stitched for his fingers were bewitched and he sewed a dream into every seam Making shoes oh so neat Just like magic on her feet Hoped she'd know that he loved her so but she danced, dance, danced as though she were entranced Like a spinning top all around the shop on her D.C. she whirled into the street and he heard her say as she danced away. Choose to set my feet Dancing, dancing, dancing all. That. That was the little shoemaker. And very good, too. Julia. You can call me Orange. Look, kid, let's just forget about that. I was wrong to expect you to be any different. A person just doesn't change overnight. Well, my father did. He did? Yeah, he woke up this morning and he was a new man. You should have seen him. He went up to my mother and he said, first you're gonna make my breakfast, then you're gonna wash the floor, and after that you're gonna iron all my clothes. And when you're through with that, you're gonna shine my shoes. Well, it's about time your father asserted himself. I'd like to go over and congratulate him. Well, it's not far. He's at Cedars of Lebanon. Well, Dennis, wish him a Happy New Year for me, will ya? Now, let's get on with the.

[A]

Hey, Jack. I tried to get you all New Year's Day. Where were you?

[C]

Oh, I was at the Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. It was a beautiful sight.

[A]

How'd you go? Alone?

[C]

No, I had my date with me from New Year's Eve and Rochester drove us down there.

[A]

Gee, didn't you have to wake up awfully early to get to Pasadena in time.

[C]

Oh, it wasn't so bad, Don. Now let me tell you about it. I set the alarm for 3:30am At a quarter of four we picked up my date. By four o' clock we were on our way.

[B]

Say, the fog really rolls in at this hour in the morning. I can't see more than 20ft in front of me.

[C]

Really, Gertrude. See, I can see that street light at the end of the block. Rochester, what can you see?

[A]

Nothing. My eyes are still closed.

[C]

Well, open them, you're driving. And don't look so Crabby, boss. At 4 in the morning, even Liberace ain't smiling. Four in the morning, Big deal. Where's your vitality? Gertrude and I were out celebrating last night and here we are, wide awake and full of pep.

[B]

Yeah, and we're older.

[C]

Speak for yourselves. John.

[B]

Get him. Whose idea was it to call it a night? At 10:30 the joint was just starting to jump.

[A]

What's the difference?

[C]

While I was there, I was the life of the party, wasn't I?

[B]

Some life.

[C]

What's so funny?

[B]

You tried to look so debonair. Drinking hot chocolate out of my slippers.

[C]

I only did that for a gag. Anyway, you'll have to admit that I showed you swell time at that nightclub. Well, I had you out on that dance floor every minute.

[B]

Anything to keep me from eating.

[C]

You ate, sister. And how you ate. I suppose that T bone steak was a mirage. The last time I saw anyone wrestle meat that way, he had a branding iron.

[B]

Very funny.

[C]

I was never so embarrassed in all my life. Everyone was looking at us.

[B]

They weren't looking at me. They were looking at you in that old tuxedo.

[C]

Old tuxedo?

[B]

Your pants were so tight you had to wear your garters on the outside. Now I suppose you're gonna pout all day cause I told you off.

[C]

I'm not gonna pout.

[B]

See, the fog is lifting.

[C]

Yeah, looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day. Hey, Rochester, maybe you ought to put down the top, huh?

[A]

Oh, boss, let's not put the top down.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

There's so much trouble taking down the center pole and pulling out the peg.

[C]

Oh, yes, I forgot. This is the new one I bought at the army surplus store.

[A]

Yeah, the flat still says Field Headquarters, General Ridgeway.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How far away from Pasadena?

[A]

About 10 miles.

[C]

Oh, we'll be there in no time. Well, here we are in Pasadena. Only took us an hour and a half. That's pretty good times. You're darn right. Considering we had a change of tire.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Can I wash this grease off my hands?

[C]

Let's wipe it on this rag. Hey, the way the traffic is getting thicker, we must be getting rockets or why are you stopping?

[A]

There's an officer at the intersection.

[C]

He isn't letting anyone through.

[B]

Say, that's Colorado Boulevard. That's the one the parade comes down.

[C]

Gee, she's right. Hey, look, here comes a floe.

[B]

Where, where, where?

[C]

Right over there. It's the official Tournament of Roses, Flo.

[B]

And look at the four drum majors riding on it.

[C]

Yeah, I think they're gonna sing. When you hear that drumming you will know we're coming and the Lucky Strikes are on parade there's never a slip and we never trip so perfect are we made.

[A]

You can hear that beat a comin down the street.

[C]

You want to get in step with Lucky Strike? Yes, Lucky Strike is toasted it's the.

[A]

One cigarette you like so round and firm and fully packed and just as be happy and go Lucky Strike and.

[C]

Smoke and yellow semipee and when you hear us all American Every Tom and Dick and Harry can light a Lucky and start popping it Nothing beats a.

[A]

Lucky Strike clean through and through much.

[C]

Pressure too so put it away, it's lucky day. L S N F T L S.

[A]

M F T L S M F T L S M F T For.

[C]

The full rich states to find tobacco you are sure to lie there's nothing half as good as hopping on a lucky spy.

[A]

L f m f c l f m.

[C]

Hey, that. That was great, wasn't it? Now back up, Rochester. We better hurry and find a place to park. I can't back up, boss.

[A]

There's 50 cars lined up behind us.

[C]

Gee, we can't go forward either.

[B]

But we're not staying.

[C]

No, this is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to that officer. Maybe he'll let us go through. I'll be right back. Certainly. It's crowded. I've never seen such a mob. Really have to fight your way through here.

[B]

Say, pardon me, mister.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Did you see my life?

[C]

Your wife?

[B]

Yeah. I can't find her anywhere. I've looked all over and I can't find her.

[C]

Oh, that's a shame.

[B]

But we've been married for 20 years. We got along so nice and we never even had a fight. I just gotta find her.

[C]

I'm sure you'll find her. How long has she been missing? 19 years. 19 years? And you're still looking?

[B]

I just started.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Fellow buddy.

[C]

So long, chloe. Ah, it's too bad. Some people really have their troubles. Now, where's that policeman? Oh, there he is. Say, officer. Officer.

[B]

What can I do for. Why, it's you, Mr. Benny. Why, Mr. Kitzel.

[C]

Mr. Kitzel, what are you doing in a policeman's uniform?

[B]

Arresting people, what else?

[C]

This is such a surprise. I mean, did you give up your other work?

[B]

No, this is in addition. Every year for this parade I am a deputy.

[C]

Oh, I see. Do you like it?

[B]

It's very pleasant. Especially when my brother in law comes by. Last year, did I give him a ticket?

[C]

You really got him, huh?

[B]

You guys got him. I wrote him up for speeding. Making a U turn, lose brakes, a defective horn and faulty headlights.

[C]

That must have cost him plenty.

[B]

It would have, but unfortunately I couldn't make it stick.

[C]

Why not?

[B]

He was walking.

[C]

Oh, well, Mr. Kitzel, that's my car over there. How about letting me cross the street?

[B]

I really shouldn't, but for a friend I can do a favor.

[C]

Then you mean I can drive through?

[B]

Yes, but you got to hurry.

[C]

It's between floats. Okay. And Thanks a lot, Mr. Kitzel. I'll see you later. Happy New Year.

[B]

It's a day late, but I'll accept it. Come on.

[C]

Roger, sir. Roger, sir. He's letting us through. Okay, make it snappy so we can get across. Rochester, what happened? The motor died. But we're in the middle of Colorado Boulevard.

[B]

And here come the floats.

[C]

Oh, my goodness. Listen, Rochester, step on the starter. I'm stepping, I'm stepping. Good, you got it started. No, I didn't. Then how come we're moving?

[B]

A float is pushing us.

[A]

What?

[C]

Smile, boss, smile. We're in the parade. See?

[B]

If I'd known this, I would have worn my bathing suit.

[C]

Oh, be quiet and stop blowing kisses. Oh, fine. We had it yet. With one of the loudest band yet.

[B]

Say, we must be going under a tree. A bird's nest just fell in my lap. That's mine.

[C]

It blew off. This is the most embarrassing that's ever. Hey, the float. Stop.

[A]

Quick.

[C]

Ratchets or do something. I'll try.

[B]

All right.

[C]

All right, you people. Step back and stop laughing. It's not funny. Go ahead, Rochester, step on the starter again. Just a second. I'm connecting this loose wire. Okay.

[B]

Say, mommy, what is it? What kind of car is that?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

It must be a foreign make.

[C]

Madam, it's not a foreign make. This is an American car.

[B]

Not so loud. I want my boy to be proud of his country.

[C]

Look, madam.

[B]

Now, come on, Whitney. We've Got to go, Mommy. I think you made him mad. He threw a bird's nest at us. My, what a strange way for General Ridgeway to act.

[C]

Roger, there must be something you can do. Hang on. Here we go again. All for Pete's sake.

[B]

Let me know you're happy. I haven't had this much fun since I got caught in a revolving door with our old twins.

[C]

Why do these things always happen to me? I just wanted to see the parade. I didn't want to be in it.

[B]

You might as well relax and enjoy yourself. We've got three hours to go. Maybe you're right.

[C]

Rochester, sit up straight and put your hands on the wheel.

[B]

What for?

[C]

If we're going through with this, at least let everyone think that we're pulling the.

[B]

Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year.

[C]

Ladies and gentlemen, one of our greatest national hazards is fire. Fire. Fire that destroys millions of dollars worth of property and takes thousands of lives each year. Don't let your home be a fire trap. Make certain all electrical appliances are in order. Don't smoke in bed. Be careful with inflammables. Don't give fire a place to start. Thank you.

[A]

Jack will be back in just a minute. But first let's take a listen to the Lucky Strike Toasting song again.

[B]

If you want better drinks from your cigarette Lucky D to give you the best state yet. It's a toasted toasted cigarette it tastes fine tobacco it's light tobacco, it's mild tobacco Tuba and it's toast yes, it's.

[C]

Toasted Cuz the toasting brings us flavor like.

[B]

Lucky Strike is the plan to get his hopes to give you the best.

[A]

That's the Lucky Strike story set to music. The facts are all there. A Lucky is the cigarette of fine tobacco. Lsmft Lucky Strike means fine tobacco naturally mild, good tasting tasting tobacco and then that fine tobacco is toasted to taste better. It's toasted is the famous Lucky Strike process that brings a Lucky's fine tobacco to its peak of flavor. The process that tones up a Lucky's naturally good tasting tobacco to make it taste even better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. So friends, smoke the cigarette of fine tobacco that's toasted to taste better. Be happy. Go Lucky.

[C]

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my sponsor, my entire staff, I want to wish all of you a happy New Year. Of course, everybody will be a year older, but not me. Good night, folks.

[A]

The Jack Minnie program is written by Sam Perrin, Milt Joseph Burke, George Balzer, John Tackerberry, Al Gordon, Hal Goldman and produced and Transcribed by Hilliard Marks Filter Smokers here's the true tobacco taste you've been looking for. Filter Tip Tartan gives you all the full, rich flavor of Tartan's famous quality tobacco and real filtration, too. Filter Tip Tartan incorporates activated charcoal, renowned for its unusual powers of selective filtration and used far and wide to purify the air we breathe, the water and beverages we drink. Look for the red, white and blue stripes on the package. They identify Filter Tip Taritum, the best in filtered smoking. The Jack Benny Program is brought to you by the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarette.

[C]

Sam.

[A]

Ra.