
The New Adventures of Nero Wolfe 50-12-08 (08) The Impolite Corpse
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A
Ladies and gentlemen, that phone bell means adventure. Hello? Hello. The young man answering the phone is Archie Goodwin. And the mountain of a man engaged in deep thought in the oversized armchair is Nero Wolf. What was that? Somebody's going to be murdered who has no manners. Well, what do you want Nero Wolf to do? Teach him manners. Oh, hold on. Mr. Wolf.
B
Yes, Ajim?
A
We've got a prospective client. In case someone she knows gets murdered, she'd like you to do something about it.
B
Very well. However, advise her.
A
Yes?
B
Not to get murdered herself. I never take a corpse for a client.
A
Greatest detective in the world. Yes, Archie is so right. He is the greatest detective in the world and the fattest and the least energetic. He's Nero Wolf. Created by Rex Stout and brought to you over this NBC network in a new series of Adventures by Mr. Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight, it's the case of the Impolite Corpse. It began on a certain night at 8:40 when Walter Channing, an advertising executive, was dictating in his office to his charming secretary, Brenda Barclay.
C
Brenda, take a memo.
D
Yes, Mr. Channing.
C
This is to be mimeographed and sent to the entire staff.
D
The entire staff? Yes, sir.
C
Notice effective at once, one hour. Lunch periods will be strictly enforced. Employees will post time of departure and time of return. Yes, what is it, Mr. Channing? Bennett, I'm busy. Well, I've got to see you, Mr. Channing, about this afternoon. This afternoon was unfortunate, Bennett, but it happened. I lost my temper. I'm sorry. So am I. Mr. Channing. I have been with the firm 14 years and I. Well, because a man blows up once in 14 years.
D
Mr. Channing's office.
C
Oh, you've got to reconsider, that's all. Mr. Channing. I never reconsider. Bennett, it's your wife. But Mr. Channing, that will be old. Bennett. It won't be all. You can't wipe out 14 years of a man's life. Even you can't do that.
B
Channing.
D
It's Mrs. Channing on the phone.
C
Oh, hello. You're where? That's in this building. Since when has Dr. Ellis kept evening office hours? I told you, there's nothing wrong with you. No, I can't. I don't know when I'll be through and I don't want you hanging around up here. Well, take a cab or walk. I don't care what you do. What? I can't understand you. What? What? Goodbye, Doris. Where was I?
D
Walter.
C
Yes?
D
You are going to reconsider about Tom Bennett, aren't you?
C
Bennett was Insolent this afternoon. I won't tolerate insolence. Yes? Shine, Mr. Channing. Shine. No. What's he doing down here this time of night?
D
Half the staff's working overtime. Carrie was an enterprising shoeshine boy. Might have missed someone on his rounds this afternoon. Walter, A bar. Tom Bennett.
C
Forget Bennett.
D
Look to upset the ink well.
C
Quick. Block the stuff.
D
Yes, of course. Did any spill on you?
C
Spot my trouser cuff. Lucky you didn't get on the carpet.
D
Walter, about Tom Bennett.
C
I told you to forget Bennett.
D
All right, Walter, all right.
C
Well, maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you'd be better off to use him as a model.
D
A model?
C
If he knows he's not wanted around here, he'll have the self respect to get out.
A
Meaning?
C
Well, you've known for a long time you're not wanted and you're still here.
D
How you'd like to fire me.
C
Denying that would be silly.
D
I've been with this firm 15 years. In January, employees get a bonus of stock shares after 15 years service. That's what I'm waiting for, and you know it.
C
Suppose we get back to that memorandum.
D
You'd like to get me out before I collect those shares, wouldn't you?
C
I said let's get on with the memo.
D
You'd be petty enough to do it.
C
Too, if you knew how there may be a way.
D
There isn't, and you know it. I'm too careful. You can't fire me without cause. And I've given you no cause, Walter. Nothing you can possibly dictate. One of your vicious little memorandums about.
C
Don't try my patience too far, Brenda.
D
Walter, this can't be us talking like this. You and me hating each other.
C
I find it remarkable there ever was anything between us except hate. Walter, I mean it. Look at you. You were flashy when I met you. You're getting flashier. That means cheaper. Brenda, stop it. Too much lipstick, too much rouge, hair too bright, dress too tight. You're trying too hard, Brenda. You're labeling yourself like a sound wagon. I wonder what it is that stops.
D
Me from killing you.
C
Cowardice, of course. Now, when you've stopped sniveling, we'll get on with a memorandum. You ready? Yes, I'm ready. Notice. In the interest of economy and efficiency, junior executives will confer in the conference room, not in private offices. Mid afternoon coffee and personal phone calls and daily shoeshines will be eliminated.
B
Your name is Barclay. Brenda barclay. Very well, Ms. Barkley. What can I do for you?
D
Mr. Wolf, I. I don't know how to begin.
A
Maybe I can make this easier all around by briefing Mr. Wolfe on the Walter Channing case. Hey, that's funny.
D
What?
A
Violet eyes. I always thought there was something the poets made up.
B
Archie.
A
Huh? Oh, the ch. The Channing case. Yes.
B
One moment, Ms. Barkley. Look this way, please. To me, an eye is functional. Object found in mammals, birds, fish, potatoes and horticulture. Thank you. Go on, Archie.
A
Walter Channing was the boy wonder of advertising at 33. Executive vice president of Winslow, Hart and Stradmeyer. Just 24 hours ago, they found him at his desk, shot through the heart.
B
They? Who is they?
A
A knight porter and a shoeshine boy. Is that right?
D
Yes.
A
He'd been dead about an hour. The bullet went through Channing, his desk chair and lodged in the windowsill behind him. Police thought at first it was suicide. The gun.38. Found it on the floor 10ft away. No fingerprints anyhow. No clear ones.
B
Seldom are on a gun. But you say suicide was suspected. Why? The gun was 10ft from the body.
D
It was the. The smudges.
B
Smudges?
A
Powder burns. According to the papers, he was sitting at his desk. There were no signs of a struggle. The gun was held against his chest and fired.
D
But it wasn't suicide, Mr. Wolfe. Walter Channing would never have killed himself.
A
The police have already decided that. Finally, according to the evening papers.
B
And I presume you, Ms. Barclay, are a suspect?
D
No, not yet.
C
But you expect to be.
B
That's why you came to me when.
D
The police talked to her. I, Doris, his wife. I've been Walter Channing's secretary for eight years. At one time we. We thought we were in love.
B
Mrs. Channing was aware of this?
D
Yes. Oh, it was a long time ago. It was over. It was finished a long time ago. But she never believed that. Neither did Alan.
A
Alan who?
D
Alan Melick, Head of the media department at the agency. We were going to be married when I. When Walter and I decided you were.
B
In love, Ms. Barclay, who finally decided you were? Not you or Mr. Channing?
C
He did.
B
I see. Mr. Meelik believes you did not share this change of heart.
D
Yes. Oh, he's such a fool.
B
I dare say you fear Mrs. Channing or Mr. Melick or both, will reveal the ill fated romance.
D
You know what the papers will make of it, what the police will try to make of it.
B
Ms. Barkey, did you kill Channing?
D
No. Oh, no, I swear I didn't. Oh, Mr. Wolf, I didn't.
B
Please, for heaven's sake, no tears. Archie, put her in a cab.
A
Yes, sir.
B
Then come up to the plant room. There are some things I want you to execute for me.
A
Yes, sir. Women.
B
Bah.
E
Yes? Ms. Goodwin? I'm I.B. jackson, a night porter. It was working late that night. Mr. Channing, his secretary, Mr. Bennett, Mr. Mealick and his secretary. About 10:30 I met the shoeshine Kelly on Mr. Channing's floor. Was a light burning in Channing's place. We went in to turn it off, Kelly and me. And there he was, sitting at his desk, a hole as big in his chest.
A
Tell me, Mr. Bennett, did Channing have any enemies in the agency?
C
Channing was a slave driver, Mr. Goodwin. The girls hated him and men were afraid of him. He'd send out memos like this one around here.
A
Take a look at it.
C
It's typical. No coffee, no shoeshines, no office conferences. If you want my opinion as one employee out of 150, whoever killed Walter Channing did the rest of us a favor.
A
You're Amy Long, secretary to Alan Mealik. Now, what can you tell?
D
I can tell you plenty. How she jilted Mr. Me, took up with Mr. Channing, got thrown over by him. I wouldn't go so far as to say Brenda Barkley would murder anyone, but if she did, Walter Channing would be one.
B
A.
A
Channing get his shoes shined by you.
C
They call the agency men, sir.
A
You know.
C
It was Jackson and me found him. Everyone else had gone and left himself, poor soul, sitting at his desk, dead.
B
This specimen, a minimus tree orchid. Beautiful, isn't it, Mrs. Channing? Mr. Mellock.
D
I could never quite like orchids. They have no smell, you know.
E
It's pretty all right, but tulips are more in my line, Mr. Wolf.
B
Tulips, Mr. Mealy?
E
I had to stand of emperors this spring.
B
Emperors. Come in, Archie. Emperors, Mr. Mealy.
E
That's the name of a tulip, Mr. Wolfe.
B
A peasant flower. I've heard of it, of course. Archie. Mrs. Channing, Mr. Medic, my assistant, Mr. Goodwin, Mr. Goodbye.
A
Didn't know you had company.
D
Mr. Wolf asks us here to explain why Brenda Barclay is worried.
B
And you have both agreed to respect their position.
E
Brenda ought to know I'd never tell the police anything to get her into trouble.
A
Phooey, sir. He said phooey, Mr. Mek, meaning he doubts what you say and does not admit your right to say it.
C
Archie.
B
Mr. Meelik, you say you'd never intentionally inform on Ms. Barclay.
A
Certainly not.
B
The tongue slips, sir. We would expect you to guard your. What do you think?
D
That's what I started to Say you asked us here because Brenda Barclay is your client. I despise Ms. Barclay, everyone knows that and why. But I wouldn't stoop to implicating her in murder.
B
You believe her innocent then, Mrs. Channing?
D
I believe she lacks the gumption to pull a traitor. Poison I wouldn't put past her at all. Mr. Melick, would you be kind enough to see me home?
E
Of course, Mrs. Channing. Good day, Mr. Wolfe.
B
Good day.
E
And Mr. Goodwin.
B
You have, I suppose, an exhaustive report from me.
A
Archie, Seven pages of notes.
B
Save them and get me a bottle of beer.
A
You're in a rosy mood. What happened?
B
I said I would like a bottle of beer.
A
No, you wouldn't.
B
Archie, you better don't puff up about it.
A
Those vest buttons won't stand the strain. I can't get you a bottle of beer.
C
Why not?
A
You ordered me to hold you to four a day.
B
I rescind the order.
A
You also ordered me not to let you rescind the order. What's the matter with you anyhow?
B
I have had to entertain two very dull people too long.
A
Both those dull people are prime suspects. Mrs. Channing is a woman scorned. Melick lost his girl to the guy who was killed.
B
I can't blame her for throwing him over. Archie, the man grows tulips.
C
What tulips?
B
Well, give me a report.
A
I checked the agency, everybody who was working down there the night of the murder. Also, I dropped in on Inspector Kramer at Homicide. Also I visited the morgue.
B
Why the morgue?
A
Because if I hadn't you'd have said why not the morgue?
B
Go on.
A
I drew a blank there. Kramer. Let me look at the clothes Channing was wearing. There was an ink stain on the left trouser cuff.
B
An ink stain and a hole through.
A
His shirt front with plenty of powder smudge. Like the paper said, he was shot with a.38 at point blank range.
C
Sitting down an impolite corpse.
A
What?
B
Discourteous. He didn't rise to meet his murderer. That is most significant. Archie.
A
I know. I've got a theory about this case.
B
No, there is. Facts, if you please.
A
But Look, Channing owned a.38, that's a fact. It's disappeared.
C
That's another fact.
A
The murder gun was a.38 with the numbers filed off. And it could be Channing's own gun.
B
Thereby proving what, Archie?
A
That his wife had access to it?
B
Your theory involves Mrs. Channing then?
A
And Melick. She decides her husband is less trouble to her dead than alive.
B
A regrettable tendency of wives. Have you Noticed.
A
And she sells Melick on the idea. Now, that wouldn't be hard. They figure to make it look like suicide. But Meelik loses his head and runs. Drops the gun on his way out. And you don't buy it.
B
Enough of theories. The facts, Archie, out of your notebook.
A
One, nine people were on the scene that night working late for one reason or another.
B
Mrs. Channing tells me she was visiting a doctor's office in the same building.
A
By the way, Two, every one of those people hated Channing. Three is a sample of why he wasn't popular. Memorandum dictated the night he was killed. The staff got it the next morning.
B
A whip cracker, Mr. Chenning.
A
Fact four, the ink stain in this trouser cup was partly rubbed out.
B
With what?
A
Cleaner of some kind. I didn't get brand. Fact five, There's a spot on the carpet near Channing's chair.
B
Spot of what? Ink.
C
Blood.
A
Looks like ink.
D
It looks like.
A
Well, I didn't analyze it on the spur of the moment. My chemical set isn't working so good, boss.
B
Archie, I want two things.
A
Yes, sir.
B
Get over to headquarters. The police have Channing's trousers. Suggest to inspector Kramer that he have the stain analyzed. Suggest also that the spot on the carpet be analyzed at the same time. Be around him when the information arrives.
A
This is be kind to the police week.
B
Phooey. I never have sought to beat the police on matters of fact, only on interpretation, deduction. Get going. Oh, and Archie.
A
Yes?
B
When you return, I should discourse upon the sanctity of deskhood.
A
The sanctity of what?
C
Hood.
B
Desk.
A
Hood.
B
Now be off with you. And please remember you're tracking a murderer. Don't stub your toe, Goodwin.
E
The thing on the carpet was a.
A
Dye of some kind. Dye, huh? Mm. How long will it take the lab to give you the analysis on it, inspector?
E
Oh, not very long.
A
I've got the report on what was.
E
Used on the trouser cuff right now, though.
A
And they found traces of carbon tetrachloride. Wait a minute. This goes in the notebook. Okay. Carbon tetra chloride. And something else. Goodwin, what's Wolf afton interpretations? Was what he said, Inspector. You object? No. Maybe I'll get an interpretation, too. The something else was perked.
E
Perchlor.
A
Ethylene perchlorate. Why, Inspector, such language.
B
What? Archie, the phone. I not back here. Hello?
D
Mr. Wolf?
B
Yes, this is Brenda Barclay.
D
Oh, Mr. Wolf.
B
What is it, Ms. Barkley?
D
You've got to come to Mr. Channing's office right away. Mr. Wolf.
B
Mr. Goodwin has been to your office. Everything I need to know. You've got to come, Mr. Wolf. Nonsense. I don't go out. My digestion disapproves of it. I disapprove of it.
D
But, Mr. Goodwin, he's in danger.
B
What? What's that?
D
Terrible danger. He needs you here at once.
B
Archie. In danger? Let me talk to him.
D
Please. Come. Hurry.
B
What's happened? Hello, Sparkly Fritz, get out of the car. Bring me my wool muffler and worsted vest. See if you can find my galoshes. Confound it, I've got to go out.
A
Going up.
B
Step to the rear of the car, please. Mister, will you please step back? I'm back as far as I can go. You are elevators. Contraptions for little men. Come, come, take me up.
E
Young man, all this.
B
Hold that car.
A
I'm late for a date with a blonde. 16th floor, buddy.
B
Evening, Mr. Goodman.
A
Good evening.
B
I was told you were in danger.
A
Danger? I, Mr. Wolf.
C
You what?
A
What are you doing out down here? Ms. Boxer's idea about me being in danger.
B
Obviously she was lying. I suspected at the time, but I fell in with her suggestion. I'm anxious to end the case. My presence here is needed.
A
Don't understand why she'd do such a thing. And why is your presence needed, 16th floor?
B
It's a matter of perspective.
A
Brenda's got a very nice perspective. She'll be around here someplace. The agency's got this whole floor. Her novice down this corridor next to Channing's. Oh, Kramer came through on those reports from the lab. That smudge on the carpet wasn't ink, it was a dye. Powdered aniline.
C
Brenda.
B
Oh.
D
Oh, Mr. Wolf, thank heavens you're here.
A
Hey, I'm here, too.
D
Police. They questioned me again this afternoon. I'm so frightened. Mr. Wolf, you've got to find the murderer before they.
A
Before, baby, take it easy.
D
Oh, hello, Archie.
A
Hello. What's the idea of trying to pull a fast one on Mr. Wolf?
D
I just had to see him. Please understand.
B
Is this Channing's office?
D
Yes.
A
He told him I was in danger.
B
Lost the place to sit down.
D
I had to tell him something to get him down here.
A
He's not happy. You comfortable there, sir?
B
Ms. Barclay, come here.
D
Mr. Wolf, I can explain. I thought if you were here where it happened. I mean, if you could see for yourself, then you'd.
B
Young woman, there are many things I'd like to say to you.
A
Oh, now, wait a minute. She was scared, boss.
B
However, I'm too short of breath to do them justice. Archie.
A
Yes?
B
Round up Everyone concerned with this case right now, including Mrs. Channing. Get them in here.
A
Yes, sir.
B
You help him, Miss Barclay, and close that window.
D
Yes, Mr. Wolf.
B
Fresh air. I've had enough today, thanks to you, to last me a lifetime. If after all that exposure, I live a lifetime.
E
What's going on here anyhow?
A
A tea party. Find yourself seats. Keep your knees steady. All right, Mr. Wolf, everybody's here.
B
Mr. Shoeshine Kelly.
C
Here, sir. Here.
B
It was you who found the body?
E
Him and me. Mr. Wolfe. I'm Abe Jackson, the night man.
B
You gentlemen can help us if you will.
C
Oh, to be sure, Mr. Wolfe.
B
I'd like to know the exact position of the body when you found it.
E
Well, he was sitting up.
C
That's it, sir. Sitting up straight as you please.
B
You'll oblige me if you'll demonstrate. Sit in the chair, please.
C
His chair, sir, if you bleed. Abe, you.
E
Yeah. Oh, no, no, not me. Not on your life.
C
There's no easy thing you ask, Mr. Wolf.
D
I.
C
But I'll oblige you. So it was like. Like this, I'd say.
B
You agree, Mr. Jackson?
E
A little more right, maybe. Yeah, that's the way he was.
B
Archie.
A
Yes, sir?
B
Help me with a brief recapitulation.
A
Well, so far as we know, Channing made no outcry.
B
Therefore he could not have been startled by the appearance of the killer.
A
There were powder burns on the body.
B
Therefore the gun was against Channing when it was fired. His own hand couldn't have held it closer.
A
Nobody heard the shot. Probably because this officer soundproofed. The gun that killed him was lying on the floor 10ft from the desk.
B
In the direction of flight. Through that door. Go on, Archie.
A
The killer was almost certainly well known to Channing, or Channing wouldn't have let him come that close without a struggle or an alarm. Also, the killer had access to this office. Another proof that he's not a stranger.
B
One more point, if I may, Argy. The killer, he or she is present here. Now be quiet, everyone. We come now to the point I mentioned to you last night, Archie. The point I call the sanctity of Desk Hood.
D
The sanctity of What?
B
Desk hood, Mrs. Jenning. Explain, Archie.
A
Still figure it's so important?
B
Absolutely essential.
A
I wrote it here somewhere. Oh, Desk hood refers to that area behind a desk where a man earns his livelihood, makes his career, builds his reputation.
C
You mean here, where I'm sitting?
A
So long as a man sits at his desk, he enjoys a curious area of privacy. He is remarkably safe from intrusion. That's it.
B
Mr. Wolf, the sanctity of desk could. Think about it a moment, you'll see what I mean.
D
Nonsense. I've gone around that desk hundreds of times. I'm sure she has many more. Hundreds. If you mean what I think you mean. Mrs. Channing, you.
B
Please, ladies. Mrs. Channing, when you approach your husband at his desk, what did he do?
D
What did he. Why he stood up and he stood.
B
Up sparkly, you agree?
D
Yes. He'd have to stand up at least he always did.
B
But for his murderer he did not. Archie, resume from your notes please.
A
Well, whoever killed Walter Channing went around the desk without Channing rising, held a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger.
B
Excuse me. If you will go behind the desk and stand facing Mr. Karihachi here.
A
This the way you mean?
B
You know the angle of the body wound or the hole in the chair?
A
There wasn't any angle. One was in a straight line with the other.
B
From where you stand now in front of Mr. Kelly, if you wish to inflict an identical wound upon him, could you do it?
A
Not from where I stand. I'd have to kneel.
B
You'd have to kneel. Do so. No, please. The murder tableau. The question now, who could kneel before Channing if close enough to kill him from that position without alarming him in the least?
D
Kelly, the shoe shine man.
C
Hey, hey, wait a minute now. I.
A
Shut up you and sit there.
B
His motive is crystal clear.
D
The memorandum.
B
Memorandum? You have a copy, A.J.
A
In my notebook.
B
Ah, yes. Ms. Barclay, read the part which could explain Mr. Kelly's action. No, no. Note was all over the office. Kelly must have seen it.
D
Oh, wait a minute now. A notice effective at once. Yes, here it is. In the interest of economy, daily shoe shines will be eliminated.
A
That'd cut off Kelly's bread and butter.
D
Kelly. I can't believe it.
B
Nor can I.
D
What?
B
It's obvious. Kelly murdered Walter Channing.
C
Mr. Wolf, now listen, I did nothing to say.
B
The obvious can be too obvious.
A
Meaning what exactly?
B
Archie.
A
Yes, sir.
B
Brief these people on the ink stained trousers.
A
Channing spilled ink on his trouser cuff the night he was murdered. Somebody tried to clean the spot off.
B
What?
A
According to the police analysis, carbon tetrachloride and perchloroethylene showed up.
B
Both non inflammable ingredients used in many commercial cleaners.
D
Exactly what are you getting at, Mr. Wolfe?
B
One moment, Mrs. Channing. Mr. Goodwin also has an analysis of the spot on the carpet behind the desk. Archie.
A
A powder form of dye, aniline.
B
Dye used in what? Perhaps.
A
Well the lab suggested a shoe dressing.
C
I got no powder dye. I swear I ain't, Mr. Woolf.
B
I'm sure you haven't, Mr. Kelly. You'll find this particular type of dressing is used on women's shoes. Suede shoes, usually.
D
I don't understand.
C
Wait a minute.
A
Wait a minute.
B
Yes, Auntie.
A
If a woman. Now, suppose a woman knelt in front of Channing to clean any spot off his trouser cuff. That smudge could have rubbed off the tip of her shoe out of the carpet.
B
Exactly. I believe you'll find a typewriter cleaner contains tetrachloride and perchlorethylene.
A
Something else just occurred to me. That memo was sent around the morning after Channing was killed.
E
I never thought of that.
B
True, Archie, and for only one purpose. To point suspicion at Kelly.
A
But when the police didn't take the hint.
B
Go on, Archie. What then?
A
Somebody else was brought down here who would. Comes around to three questions, doesn't it? Who knew about the memo? Who had access to Channing's file, where he kept his gun? And who made sure Nero Wolf would see the evidence against Kelly?
B
Three questions, Archie, with one answer. That spells the name of the murderess. Our own client, Brenda Bakke. Steak, Archie, marinated. You like it?
A
I'm not hungry.
B
Indeed. I suggest a tonic.
A
That reminds me, I had a call. You had Doris Channing. She had some idea about my explaining things to her.
B
She found my explanation insufficient?
A
No, but she felt it lacked the personal touch.
B
Phooey. Hand me a can of beer. However, you do have the evening off.
A
Yes, sir.
B
Keep out of trouble. Doris Channing is a blonde. Let us try to keep out of.
A
Trouble in the company of a blonde who wants to. Good night, sir.
B
Good night, AJI. Good night.
F
You have been listening to the New Adventures of Nero Wolf, starring Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight's transcribed story by William Kendall Clark was based on the characters created by Rex Stout. This is an Edmund Fadiman program, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Larry Dobkin as Archie Goodwin and Donald Morrison, Betty Lou Gerson, Bill Johnstone, Howard McNear, Mary Lansing and Barney Phillips. Next week at this same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the girl who cried Wolf. John Storm speaking near a wolf. Archie and all of our cast hope that our listeners have taken time out from this busy Christmas season to help brighten some youngsters. Christmas Day, be sure to send a thing, your choice of anything you think a child would like for Christmas to the groups in your own town who are distributing these toy gifts to less fortunate children. Three chimes mean good times on NBC.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: The New Adventures of Nero Wolfe 50-12-08 (08) The Impolite Corpse
Original Air Date: December 8, 1950
Podcast Release Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Main Cast: Sydney Greenstreet as Nero Wolfe, Larry Dobkin as Archie Goodwin
This episode of the classic radio detective series, The New Adventures of Nero Wolfe, features the case “The Impolite Corpse.” Centered around the murder of Walter Channing, an abrasive advertising executive, the story draws the reclusive detective Nero Wolfe into a tangled web of office tensions, scorned relationships, and clever misdirection. Listeners are treated to vintage radio drama, sharp banter, and Wolfe’s signature style of detection.
[00:02 – 05:55]
Notable Quote
“Not to get murdered herself. I never take a corpse for a client.”
— Nero Wolfe [00:33]
[06:00 – 14:44]
Notable Quote
“Whoever killed Walter Channing did the rest of us a favor.”
— Tom Bennett [09:22]
[14:44 – 17:15]
Notable Quote
“Discourteous. He didn’t rise to meet his murderer. That is most significant.”
— Nero Wolfe [13:07]
[15:30 – 18:47]
Notable Quotes
“Somebody tried to clean the spot off. According to the police analysis, carbon tetrachloride and perchlorethylene showed up.”
— Archie Goodwin [24:44]
[18:47 – 26:11]
Notable Quotes
“Three questions, Archie, with one answer. That spells the name of the murderess. Our own client, Brenda Barkley.”
— Nero Wolfe [26:11]
Archie’s Deadpan:
“You ordered me to hold you to four [beers] a day. … You also ordered me not to let you rescind the order.”
— Archie Goodwin [12:08–12:12]
Nero Wolfe’s Loathing for Leaving Home:
“I don't go out. My digestion disapproves of it. I disapprove of it.” [16:56]
When persuaded to visit the murder scene physically.
Classic Detective Reveal:
“The killer, he or she, is present here. Now be quiet, everyone. … The point I call the sanctity of Desk Hood.”
— Nero Wolfe [21:49–22:06]
The episode balances wit and gravity, with banter between Archie and Wolfe, biting sarcasm, and a sharp focus on procedural logic. Wolfe’s urbane, decisive manner contrasts with Archie’s breezy irreverence, making for a brisk, entertaining whodunnit.
The Impolite Corpse delivers a classic Nero Wolfe puzzle: the intersection of office politics, personal vendetta, and methodical investigation. The culprit, hiding in plain sight, is unveiled through Wolfe’s insight into human behavior, science, and “deskhood.” The episode features crackling dialogue, credible misdirection, and the enduring charm of radio’s golden age detective work.