The New Burns and Allen Show 1941-12-23 - Santa and the Wicked Witch

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: The New Burns and Allen Show 1941-12-23 — Santa and the Wicked Witch
Date: December 13, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio features a rebroadcast of the classic “Burns and Allen Show” Christmas special from December 23, 1941. The comedic radio play captures George Burns, Gracie Allen, and their ensemble as they embark on a whimsical fairytale adventure involving Santa Claus, a wicked witch, and a toy-saving quest, all designed to spread holiday cheer to young and old.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. A Christmas Eve at the Burns Household

• Setting:
  The episode opens at George and Gracie’s home on Christmas Eve. The tree is decorated, George is off to bed, leaving Gracie and their duck, Herman, by the fireplace.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Now, Herman, it's 11 o' clock and it's time all good little ducks were fast asleep.” — Gracie Allen (02:01)

2. Gracie’s Bedtime Story and Dream Sequence

• Gracie tries to lull Herman to sleep with a mixed-up fairy tale, blurring lines between classic stories and her own quirks.
• As Gracie dozes off, she dreams of a magical adventure to the North Pole aboard a “magic carpet,” referencing wartime “priorities” for a modern twist.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Of course, magic carpets are a little hard to get these days. Priorities, you know.” — Gracie Allen (03:54)

3. Santa’s Trouble: The Wicked Witch Steals Christmas Toys

• At the North Pole, Gracie finds Santa (Quizzy Mom Quiz Kwingle) distraught because the Wicked Witch has stolen all the toys meant for good children.
• Notable Quote:
  • “No. The wicked witch stole all my Christmas toys. And now I won't have any presents to give to the good widows… er, boys and girls.” — Santa Claus (06:35)
• Gracie pledges to help retrieve the toys, demonstrating her can-do attitude.

4. Enlisting Help: Aladdin’s Lamp and Comic Commercial Segues

• Aladdin enters, lamenting that the Wicked Witch stole his lamp by disguising herself as Lana Turner—a classic Burns and Allen riff on celebrity culture.
• The show cleverly segues comedy into product plugs, using the magic lamp as a vehicle for Swan Soap commercials.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “All you had to do was wish for anything you want and rub it and out came Swan soap. No Genie.” — Aladdin (09:21)
  • Gracie asks, “If you rub the lamp and got Swan soap, what would you get if you rubbed the soap?” Aladdin responds, “Suds, suds and more suds.” (09:44)

5. Flights of Fancy: Meeting Fairy Tale Characters

• On their journey, Gracie and company encounter Prince Valiant, Humpty Dumpty, and Little Tommy Tucker, all portrayed with vaudeville flair and quick-witted banter.
• Notable Moment:
  • Little Tommy Tucker sings “Beautiful Dreamer” for his supper (13:18–14:15), a nostalgic, musical interlude.

6. Confronting the Wicked Witch

• The Wicked Witch is found by following Herman’s trail of feathers (the duck has been “ducknapped”).
• Gracie persistently badgers the Witch with her usual silliness, even poking fun at Hollywood starlets and home décor.
• Notable Exchanges:
  • “You look exactly like someone I've seen in the movies. Let me see… was it Anne Sheridan?... No, I know who it was. Shirley Temple.” — Gracie (16:11–16:28)
  • The Witch describes her lair with dark wit: “Just straight ahead… The walls are made from bones of skeletons…” — The Witch (17:39)

7. A Journey Through Peril: The Witch’s Castle

• Humpty Dumpty and his “eggs” join the quest—armed with spaghetti and slapstick humor.
• Gracie and the Prince reach the Witch’s macabre castle and are greeted by the skeletal butler, who claims he lost everything in a poker game.
• Inside, more comic product placement and double talk ensue, especially around the “torture chamber.”

8. Showdown and Redemption

• The Witch threatens the heroes but becomes distracted, reminiscing about her tragic love life, with Gracie playing the sympathetic listener.
• Notable Quote:
  • Gracie: “You know, you're a most unusual person. You make me feel a little ashamed of myself.” — Gracie to the Witch (30:37)
• Santa and the Witch’s backstory comes to a head—revealing her heartbreak over “Christopher” (Santa Claus himself).

9. Christmas Saved and a Happy Ending

• Santa and the Witch (Gwendolyn) are reunited, the toys are returned, and all the children are promised a Merry Christmas after all.
• Gracie wakes up to discover it was all a dream, bookending the episode with her at home.
• Closing Moment:
  • “Well, I’ve just had the most wonderful dream.” — Gracie Allen (32:43)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Product Plug as Comedy:
  • “Who wants a genie when you can get Swan? Why, Swan is a brand new white floating soap. That’s eight ways better than old style floating soap.” — Aladdin (09:32)
• Wit and Wordplay:
  • “How do your legs feel? … Fine. … Then I’ll put you down.” — Gracie and Prince Valiant (23:35)
• Meta-Humor:
  • “What a ghastly looking castle. … Oh my, I’m glad to see you, Herman. Now quick, you fly to the North Pole and bring back Santa Claus. Herman, don’t fly backwards, you’ll catch cold.” — Gracie (24:00–24:21)
• Classic Sentiment:
  • “And now all the kitties will have a Merry Christmas after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” — Gracie (32:24)
• Sign-off and Good Wishes:
  • “I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas.” — George Burns (33:40)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:01 | Gracie’s bedtime story & start of adventure | | 06:35 | Santa reveals the toys are stolen | | 09:21 | Aladdin’s lamp produces Swan Soap (first commercial riff) | | 13:18 | Little Tommy Tucker sings "Beautiful Dreamer" | | 15:12 | Gracie’s first encounter with the Wicked Witch | | 17:39 | The Witch describes her castle | | 23:21 | Reaching the Witch’s castle and following Herman’s trail | | 24:48 | Introduction of the Witch’s skeletal butler | | 29:33 | Swan Soap “twin bar” comedy; lamp-rubbing confusion in the witch’s lair | | 30:37 | Gracie befriends the Witch over tea | | 31:53 | Santa Claus reveals his connection with the Witch | | 32:43 | Gracie wakes from her dream | | 33:40 | Closing Christmas wishes by George and Gracie |

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Conclusion

This timeless holiday comedy offers slapstick fun, rapid-fire jokes, and a playful spirit characteristic of Burns and Allen. The episode playfully weaves together classic fairy tales, comic misunderstandings, and sponsor plugs into a cozy radio holiday special that ends with a message of laughter, unity, and goodwill—all delivered in the warm, silly, and inventive style of its iconic cast.

A perfect listen for nostalgia lovers, holiday celebrants, and fans of vintage radio comedy.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello? Are you there? Well, we're here and we've got Evan mayor with us.

[C]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

[B]

Swan Soap.

[C]

Yes, sir. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Swan, the new white floating soap that made way better than old style floating soaps, presents Paul Weidman. Announcer bill goodwin. Our singer, jimmy cash. Well, I swan the stars of our show, George Burns and Tracy Allen. The new Burns and Allen Show. Now we take you there home the night before treatment. The tree has been decorated and George has gone to bed. Only Gracie and Herman, their little duck, are still downstairs in front of the fireplace.

[B]

Now, Herman, it's 11 o' clock and it's time all good little ducks were fast asleep. Herman Burns, you go right to sleep. Well, all right. I'll tell you if that time's done, then when you go to sleep. Now, once upon a time there was a little girl. She was very, very beautiful and very, very smart. And her name was Lacey. Well, one day she put on her red dress that she bought at Magnum and took a shortcut through the woods to visit her grandmother. And on the way, she met a valiant prince. The valiant prince. He was awful strong and handsome like your daddy, George. All right, he was awful strong. All right, so he was awful like your daddy. But when she got to her grandmother's. The wicked witch. The wicked witch. Oh, remember the night we went to the movies and saw Edna May Oliver? That's right. Anyway, the wicked witch ate up little Gracie's grandmother and went to bed without even washing the dishes. Yes, she was very untidy. So they live properly ever after and not go to sleep. No, Herman, you're Not going to get a double suitcase now.

[D]

Now go to sleep.

[B]

And if you're a good little doc, your mama will take you way up to the North Pole to see Santa Claus. And the North Pole is way, way, way. Well, it's so far that you couldn't even get up there without a magic carpet. Well, he finally fell asleep. I'm getting sleepy myself. Oh, tentacles. Magic carpet. Oh, my. This is the only way to travel, isn't it, Harley? Of course, magic carpets are a little hard to get these days. Priorities, you know. Oh, look, there's a sign. North Pole. 3 million miles. We must be getting near Santa Cross's workshop. Oh, Ducky, you get your Christmas fish. Lots and lots of fish. Oh, Ducky, you gonna get the best of Santa Claus because the duckies he knows a few things good like little duckies should all duckies. He'll make you happy.

[C]

Wait.

[B]

You see. Oh, hold on her. Santa Claus has quite a knack for making things you break your back for he has a great big sack for all the toys that you could quack for Walkies you get a three in the mood to keep your feathers cool. Oh, Ducky, you're mighty lucky. Ducky.

[C]

Walky.

[B]

Oh, look, There's Santa's workshop. Hold on, Herman. Oh, my goodness. I'll have to get the brakes on this carpet.

[D]

Rew it.

[B]

He is quiet up here. Where's santa claus?

[D]

Do I am that.

[B]

Oh, why are you crying? You can't be Santa Claus.

[C]

Oh, I am Quesy Mom Quiz kwingle in the flesh.

[B]

Well, why are you crying? Did you forget to write yourself a letter?

[C]

No. The wicked witch stole all my Christmas toys.

[D]

And now I won't have any presents to give to the good widow.

[C]

Boys and girls who brush their teeth or their feathers A wax and a wax crazy Christmas will be a foa.

[B]

Don't cry, Santa Claus. Be babe and strong like I am. Oh, imagine. No pheasants for all little kitties. Or dark stories.

[C]

Oh, look, look, here comes Aladdin.

[B]

Oh, Aladdin good. All he's got to do is rub his magic lamp and then he'll get us out of all this trouble.

[C]

Nanda, Nanda, listen. I'm in a terrible mess. Hello, Gracie.

[B]

Hello, Al.

[C]

This is Santa. The wicked witch stole my lamp. She cast a spell and made herself look like Lana Turner. Then she offered to hold the lamp while I kissed her.

[B]

Oh, that's awful.

[C]

Well, that isn't the worst of it. When she got the lamp, she broke the spell. You should see the difference between what I started to kiss and what I got through kissing. Aw, poor one.

[A]

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[E]

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[C]

Wicked witch twitched you and stole your magic lamp. Yes, Nana.

[D]

And what a lamp.

[C]

All you had to do was wish for anything you want and rub it and out came Swan soap. No Genie.

[D]

Genie?

[C]

Who wants a genie when you can get Swan? Why? Swan is a brand new white floating soap. That date weighs better than old style floating soap.

[B]

If you rub the laugh and got Swan salt, what would you get if you rubbed the salt?

[C]

Suds, suds and more suds. Why? Swan gives loads of rich creamy suds and twice as fast too, even in the hardest water. That's why Swan is not only great for washing the dishes, but it's also swell for hankies and hoes and lingerie. Lingerie? What's that?

[B]

Well, come here, Saddam.

[C]

Oh really? Up here we wear wet guano. Yes, and Swan wears a green waffle with a white swan on the fly.

[B]

There There.

[C]

Whose magic carpet is that parked outside in first the fireplace.

[B]

Well, it's mine, officer.

[D]

Well, you'd better be bogus. And I'd be giving you a ticket. Aha.

[B]

And what a big handsome lad like you, too, all decked up in the nice blue uniform be after giving a little Irish Callie and a ticket. That Lonnie will do you no good.

[D]

I'm an Eskimo.

[B]

Come, Herman, we're going. Well, we've got to get Santa's toys back and Santa Claus. When I find the wicked witch, I'll send Herman back here. You jump on his back and fly to the castle.

[C]

Oh, I'm too heavy. It's impossible for me to fly on a wicked witch. Duck's back.

[B]

Oh, nothing's impossible for a man who can be at the May Company and Bullock at the same time. Come on, Herman. The magic carpet is waiting. Well, we're off to find the witch.

[D]

Hey there, how about a lift?

[B]

Oh, now who's that? Oh, it's a hit tyer on top of that iceberg. I'll pull up and get by. Well, how far? My magic car. But we're in a big hurry.

[C]

Thanks, lady. Well, I'm certainly glad you came along. What was that that just passed us?

[B]

Oh, a couple of those high school kids out a piece of lol.

[C]

Darn those jalopies.

[B]

Who are you?

[C]

Who am I? I'm the bravest man in the world.

[B]

My elf. Lynn, what happened to your face?

[C]

That's not my name. I'm Prince Valiant.

[B]

Oh, how till I'm great beat.

[C]

I'm the world's greatest hero. I fear no man. I fear no beats. Take him away. Take him away.

[B]

Help. Help. He won't hurt you. That's just my little job. Oh, Herman, stick your wing out. I'm gonna make a turn. You know, Prince Dian, there's something very familiar about your face. Were you ever in Brazil?

[C]

I still am. I just finished a split week at Lowe's North Pole.

[B]

Boy, I knew your face was familiar.

[C]

Well, I'm thinking about a new act and I'm looking for leading lady. Maybe you'd like to support me.

[B]

You know, there's something familiar about that, too.

[C]

I guess I should have stayed on the iceberg.

[B]

Well, I'll go to land and find out where I am.

[C]

Oh, look, here comes a little boy down the road.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Hello. I'm very hungry.

[D]

Have you some pictures?

[B]

Or I can sing for what's your name?

[C]

Little Tommy Tucker.

[B]

Oh, well, here, have a Swiss cheese sandwich. You can eat it and sing through the holes at the same time.

[C]

Thanks. Beautiful dream O wake unto me.

[B]

The.

[C]

Light and dew drops are waiting for thee Sounds of the rude world Heard.

[D]

In the day Lulled by the moonlight.

[C]

Have all passed away Beautiful dream O queen of my soul lit while I.

[D]

Woo thee with strong melody.

[B]

On all.

[C]

The cares of life Is it all. Beautiful dreamer Awaken to me.

[B]

Beautiful dreamer.

[D]

Aw.

[C]

Wa. Come to me.

[B]

She's Alice. Beautiful little Tommy Tucker.

[C]

Tell me, do you have to sing for your supper every night? Yes, or the Wicked Witch will cut off one of my legs. Oh, she wouldn't do that. No, she only says that to scare me. Well, I've got to be hopping along.

[B]

Well, goodbye. Come on, Hyman. We've got to find that wicked witch. Oh, I'll tell that Wicked witch a thing or two, believe me. You just wait till I see that wicked witch.

[D]

Oh, you would like to see the Wicked Witch, eh? The guileless one.

[B]

Oh, hello. Nice day, isn't it? Sweetly.

[D]

But I'm hoping it will cloud up just because she realized that I'm the Wicked Witch in the flesh. But there is of it.

[C]

Well, I'll see you later, Gracie.

[B]

Do you live around here?

[D]

Who knows where I live. One day a lonely castle in the hill, the next a crowded city street. The day of the lab of the sea, tomorrow a mountain retreat.

[B]

Ma, how you doing? We've been trying to break our reach for months.

[D]

I've had enough of this shilly shellying me girl.

[B]

You know, you look exactly like someone I've seen in the movies. Now, let me see.

[D]

Well, is it Annie Sheridan or are we going to argue about it?

[B]

Anne Sheridan? Oh, no, I'm not that silly. Oh, I know who it was. Shelly Temple.

[D]

Don't be fantastic. There's a good 20 years difference between us. A few bad ones, too.

[B]

Well, it's been awfully nice meeting you, but I really must be going. Wait.

[D]

You're looking for the Wicked Witch, eh? And just what do you want to see her for?

[B]

Well, because I've got to get Santa's price out.

[D]

Oh, I see. You know what the Wicked Witch will do to you? She will transform you into a plain rat mat of quivering flesh, then wring your pretty neck and toss your body to the.

[B]

Ah, how you're sweet. Well, you shouldn't worry about me. In fact, I'm a little worried about you.

[D]

About me? Why, may I ask?

[B]

Well, you're all alone out here in the woods, and there might be some men hanging around.

[D]

A man?

[C]

Where? Oh.

[B]

Oh, all over. I Don't suppose you could direct me to the castle of the Wicked Witch?

[D]

Just straight ahead to Craft Liquid. The walls are made of from bones of skeleton. And the choruses are decorated with human colors.

[B]

Oh, I couldn't live in a house like that. Where no barbecue bin. Well, thanks anyway. You're quite welcome.

[D]

Little does she know that I have given her the wrong direction. The treacherous swamps lie in her path. Those swamps that killed hundreds of men. Damn it.

[B]

Well, goodbye. Come on, little ducky. What a cute little duck. Oh, yes. He's just like my own son. His name is Herman.

[D]

Oh, indeed. Little does she know that tonight I shall dine on Roast Long Island. Herman. Well, goodbye.

[B]

Gone. She's disappeared. Come, Herman. We've gotta find Herman. Where's Herman? Herman.

[C]

Herman.

[D]

Gracie.

[C]

Gracie, Are you still in trouble, or.

[D]

Can I come back?

[B]

Oh, valiant Prince Herman is missing. He must have been ducknapped.

[D]

Ducknapped?

[C]

Then the woman you were talking to must have been the Wicked Witch herself.

[B]

Well, how do you like that? And she felt different about the girl.

[C]

Look, There's a duck feather.

[B]

Oh, and there's another one. Herman must be pulling out his tail feathers to leave the trail. Well, now we can find the Wicked Witch's castle. Come on, let's go.

[D]

Look, there's another feather.

[B]

Oh, I hope poor Herman isn't catching coal. Oh, no. He's got a blimp up there.

[C]

Hello, Cass. That's no blimp. That's Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall.

[B]

Oh, gee, isn't he big and round. He. He must be at least 65 cents a dozen.

[C]

Say, Humpty Dumpty, we're looking for the Wicked Witch. Will you come and help us? I will, just as soon as I finish eating. Well, when will you be through? That's funny. Somebody asked me that same question 20 years ago. Didn't you ever do anything else but eat? I don't know. When I get home, I'll look in the diary.

[B]

Oh, please help us, Humpty Dumpty. The Wicked Witch stole all of Santa's toy.

[C]

Oh, then I'll go with you. And I'll take along this spaghetti to tire her up. Gosh, you don't need that much spaghetti. Don't worry. It won't go to waste. Oh, well, I'll call all my eggs together. Wait. I'm going to blow on this lamp.

[B]

Shoot. Oh. What do you think of that? He blew the paper panties right off the chop.

[D]

All right, Ed.

[C]

We're off to get the witch. Keep your sunny sides up. We're off to get the witch. We're off to get the witch. I hold the cherry O We're off to get the witch. We're hunting for the witch.

[B]

It's. Look.

[C]

There's the witch's castle.

[B]

Well, what happened to Humpty Dumpty and his gang? My, how those eggs scrambled.

[C]

Well, don't worry, Gracie. The valiant prince will protect you. I'm not afraid.

[B]

How do your legs feel?

[C]

Her legs? Fine.

[B]

Then I'll put you down. Oh, look. Herman's tail feathers lead right up to the steps. Wasn't it smart of him to leave a trail first? If we get the toys back, he'll be a hero.

[C]

It'll certainly put a feather in his cap.

[B]

Oh, that's not where he needs him.

[C]

What a ghastly looking castle.

[B]

Oh, wait, he has one more permanent feathers. I'll pick it up and save it for him. Oh, he hasn't dropped this one yet. Oh, my, I'm glad to see you, Herman. Now quick, you fly to the North Pole and bring back Santa Claus. When Herman don't fly backwards, you'll catch cold.

[C]

Oh, if we're going in to get the wicked witch, I better knock on the door. Oh, she's gone. Come on, let's go.

[B]

No, no, no. Take that and send foul knock.

[C]

Oh, it's a skeleton.

[B]

My goodness, Mr. Skeleton, you shouldn't walk around that way. You'll catch your death cold. Want to get goose pimples on me?

[C]

They would not show. I am the witch's butler.

[B]

Come in. Oh, poor man. That witch must be a slave driver. Look, he's worked his fingers and everything else to the bone.

[C]

Oh, no, senorita. The work here is very easy. Then. Then how did you become a skeleton? I was a heavy loser in a street poker game. Well, come on, Gracie. The witch isn't home, I hope. Ah, she is expecting you. Step right into the torture chamber and make yourselves comfortable.

[B]

Well, will we have to wait long to see see the witch?

[C]

Oh, no, she just arrived. She is outside tying up her back.

[B]

Oh, was she on one?

[C]

Let's see. Senorita. While you are waiting, Seor Prince, would you like an arsenic and soda or a beer? I'll have a beer. Fine. Little does he know that the beer is spelled P I E R.

[B]

Oh, my, what an adorable torture room. I'll bet she subscribes to the witch's home journal.

[F]

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[B]

Who is it?

[D]

It's the lamp.

[C]

I sneaked in here and got my magic lamp back. And I'm hiding in this tub of boiling oil.

[B]

Oh, I'll just keep cool.

[C]

Well, don't worry. If there's anyone, the valiant Prince will find it.

[B]

Come back from that door.

[C]

Well, it was locked anyway.

[B]

You know, the Witch is not much of a hostess. She's forgotten all about it. Forgotten you?

[D]

Not at all, my pretty.

[B]

Oh, There you are, Ms. Witch. I'd like you to meet my friend, Prince Dragon.

[D]

Yes, I saw him once before at a distance. It's still a shock.

[B]

Well, we've come to get Santa Cross's cards back. May we have them? He should.

[D]

At the moment, I have other plans for you.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Oh, right. For the next hour, I will twist the hair down the back of your neck. I will pl the hot mud on your face. I will pluck your eyebrows out one by one.

[B]

Oh, what do you charge for a manicure? I always pay cash.

[D]

I'll break your spirits yet. Perhaps it would be better to torture Prince Valiant first and show you how.

[B]

Nasty I can be.

[C]

No. No, please don't hurt me.

[D]

They will summon me. A glyce slave.

[C]

Yes, your wickedness.

[D]

Put Prince Valiant from the stretching machine. Now, watch closely, Gracie. When we stretch his body inch by inch.

[C]

Come on. Come on. Aladdin.

[D]

Aladdin.

[C]

Rub the magic lamp and get some help. I am rubbing it, but all I'm getting is Swan soap. Swan soap?

[D]

What's that?

[C]

What's that? Why, only the first really new white floating soap since the gay 90s, that's all. Why, Swan is eight ways better than old fashioned floating soap. Aladdin, will you rub the lamp and get some coat? In a minute, in a minute, in a minute. Look, witch. Witch. See how white sweet swan is.

[B]

Hey, how could it smell?

[D]

Come, come, Kraskin, turn the screws.

[C]

Aladdin, Aladdin, will you rub the lamp? She's gonna spend. In a minute, in a minute, in a minute. And Swan is pure and gentle. That mild is the finest Imported castile coats just grand for bathing the baby. It's so easy on your hands when you wash dishes. Hurry, they're going to break me in two. They are. Swan is really a twin bar.

[D]

Break it in two, break it in two.

[C]

I use one half in the kitchen and the other half in your bathroom for your tub or shower. Drop the lamp, drop the lamp, rub the lamp. Don't forget witchy. That swan comes in a green wrapper with a white swan on the front.

[D]

Awful noisy in here, don't you think? Would you like a cup of tea?

[B]

Oh, I love thunder switch.

[D]

Come, let's go into me parlor, Little fly. That Prince Valiant is really carrying on.

[B]

Oh, probably growing pain.

[D]

Yeah. Should I pour the tea?

[B]

Please. Oh my, there's nothing like a cup of good hot tea. Don't you think so?

[D]

You know, you're a most unusual person. They say I may call you Gracie, may I not? Well, of course, Gwendolyn.

[B]

Oh, of course, Gwen.

[D]

As I was saying, you're a most unusual person. You make me feel a little ashamed of myself.

[B]

Oh, really? Oh, I just knew you had a good side. Queen. I always say that there's so much worse than the bad of us and so much least in the good of us that it'll best of a hoover steps to say anything. That's what I always say.

[D]

Does somebody understand you?

[B]

Oh, yes. But tell me, how does it become such a wicked person?

[D]

Naturally, a man was the cause of it all. Medea. What else can make a woman's heart feel as though it were served and alternately give her goose flesh and fever?

[B]

Well, speaking personally, a Welsh rabbit perhaps?

[D]

Perhaps, but I should tell you my story. It begins some years ago at the turn of the century.

[B]

Which factory?

[D]

We won't go into that. It was then that Christopher came into my life. Presently the whole town was talking of Gwendolyn and Christopher.

[B]

Yes, yes, go on.

[D]

Ah, what a man he was like Tyrone Power. And just enough wise mother to make him interesting.

[B]

Enter.

[C]

Pardon my rattling senior equipment witch, but there is a man outside to see you. He is wearing a red suit and a white beard.

[D]

Oh, it's Santa Claus.

[B]

Come in, Santa.

[D]

Oh, Quy.

[C]

I got you.

[D]

Gwendolin Christopher Kingle. You came back to me.

[C]

My widow. Dream girl.

[D]

Here's your bag of toys.

[C]

Now I can make me quit Mr. Wibberley.

[D]

And I'll go with you and help spread the joy.

[B]

Oh. And now all the kitties will have a merry Christmas after all. Isn't that wonderful? Oh, the magnificent. I almost forgot him.

[C]

Gracie, wake up. Wake up.

[B]

Oh, my goodness, George. Oh, I'm gonna sleep. I've just had the most wonderful dream. Gee, you look short.

[C]

Come on, let's go up. It's one o'. Clock.

[B]

Herman is still asleep. You wake him up.

[C]

Well, give him to me. I'll carry him up. Remember, folks, buy swan. Dry swan. See for yourself. A swan isn't really eight ways better than old style floating soap. And now, once again, George and Gracie.

[B]

I want to thank Emma May Oliver for appearing with us tonight. And in behalf of the entire cast and our sponsor, the makers of Kwan, I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas.

[C]

And that goes double for me.

[B]

Oh, and triple for Herman. Good night.

[F]

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