Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: The New Burns and Allen Show 1941-12-23 — Santa and the Wicked Witch
Date: December 13, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio features a rebroadcast of the classic “Burns and Allen Show” Christmas special from December 23, 1941. The comedic radio play captures George Burns, Gracie Allen, and their ensemble as they embark on a whimsical fairytale adventure involving Santa Claus, a wicked witch, and a toy-saving quest, all designed to spread holiday cheer to young and old.

Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. A Christmas Eve at the Burns Household

• Setting:
  The episode opens at George and Gracie’s home on Christmas Eve. The tree is decorated, George is off to bed, leaving Gracie and their duck, Herman, by the fireplace.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Now, Herman, it's 11 o' clock and it's time all good little ducks were fast asleep.” — Gracie Allen (02:01)

2. Gracie’s Bedtime Story and Dream Sequence

• Gracie tries to lull Herman to sleep with a mixed-up fairy tale, blurring lines between classic stories and her own quirks.
• As Gracie dozes off, she dreams of a magical adventure to the North Pole aboard a “magic carpet,” referencing wartime “priorities” for a modern twist.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Of course, magic carpets are a little hard to get these days. Priorities, you know.” — Gracie Allen (03:54)

3. Santa’s Trouble: The Wicked Witch Steals Christmas Toys

• At the North Pole, Gracie finds Santa (Quizzy Mom Quiz Kwingle) distraught because the Wicked Witch has stolen all the toys meant for good children.
• Notable Quote:
  • “No. The wicked witch stole all my Christmas toys. And now I won't have any presents to give to the good widows… er, boys and girls.” — Santa Claus (06:35)
• Gracie pledges to help retrieve the toys, demonstrating her can-do attitude.

4. Enlisting Help: Aladdin’s Lamp and Comic Commercial Segues

• Aladdin enters, lamenting that the Wicked Witch stole his lamp by disguising herself as Lana Turner—a classic Burns and Allen riff on celebrity culture.
• The show cleverly segues comedy into product plugs, using the magic lamp as a vehicle for Swan Soap commercials.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “All you had to do was wish for anything you want and rub it and out came Swan soap. No Genie.” — Aladdin (09:21)
  • Gracie asks, “If you rub the lamp and got Swan soap, what would you get if you rubbed the soap?” Aladdin responds, “Suds, suds and more suds.” (09:44)

5. Flights of Fancy: Meeting Fairy Tale Characters

• On their journey, Gracie and company encounter Prince Valiant, Humpty Dumpty, and Little Tommy Tucker, all portrayed with vaudeville flair and quick-witted banter.
• Notable Moment:
  • Little Tommy Tucker sings “Beautiful Dreamer” for his supper (13:18–14:15), a nostalgic, musical interlude.

6. Confronting the Wicked Witch

• The Wicked Witch is found by following Herman’s trail of feathers (the duck has been “ducknapped”).
• Gracie persistently badgers the Witch with her usual silliness, even poking fun at Hollywood starlets and home décor.
• Notable Exchanges:
  • “You look exactly like someone I've seen in the movies. Let me see… was it Anne Sheridan?... No, I know who it was. Shirley Temple.” — Gracie (16:11–16:28)
  • The Witch describes her lair with dark wit: “Just straight ahead… The walls are made from bones of skeletons…” — The Witch (17:39)

7. A Journey Through Peril: The Witch’s Castle

• Humpty Dumpty and his “eggs” join the quest—armed with spaghetti and slapstick humor.
• Gracie and the Prince reach the Witch’s macabre castle and are greeted by the skeletal butler, who claims he lost everything in a poker game.
• Inside, more comic product placement and double talk ensue, especially around the “torture chamber.”

8. Showdown and Redemption

• The Witch threatens the heroes but becomes distracted, reminiscing about her tragic love life, with Gracie playing the sympathetic listener.
• Notable Quote:
  • Gracie: “You know, you're a most unusual person. You make me feel a little ashamed of myself.” — Gracie to the Witch (30:37)
• Santa and the Witch’s backstory comes to a head—revealing her heartbreak over “Christopher” (Santa Claus himself).

9. Christmas Saved and a Happy Ending

• Santa and the Witch (Gwendolyn) are reunited, the toys are returned, and all the children are promised a Merry Christmas after all.
• Gracie wakes up to discover it was all a dream, bookending the episode with her at home.
• Closing Moment:
  • “Well, I’ve just had the most wonderful dream.” — Gracie Allen (32:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Product Plug as Comedy:
  • “Who wants a genie when you can get Swan? Why, Swan is a brand new white floating soap. That’s eight ways better than old style floating soap.” — Aladdin (09:32)
• Wit and Wordplay:
  • “How do your legs feel? … Fine. … Then I’ll put you down.” — Gracie and Prince Valiant (23:35)
• Meta-Humor:
  • “What a ghastly looking castle. … Oh my, I’m glad to see you, Herman. Now quick, you fly to the North Pole and bring back Santa Claus. Herman, don’t fly backwards, you’ll catch cold.” — Gracie (24:00–24:21)
• Classic Sentiment:
  • “And now all the kitties will have a Merry Christmas after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” — Gracie (32:24)
• Sign-off and Good Wishes:
  • “I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas.” — George Burns (33:40)

Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:01 | Gracie’s bedtime story & start of adventure | | 06:35 | Santa reveals the toys are stolen | | 09:21 | Aladdin’s lamp produces Swan Soap (first commercial riff) | | 13:18 | Little Tommy Tucker sings "Beautiful Dreamer" | | 15:12 | Gracie’s first encounter with the Wicked Witch | | 17:39 | The Witch describes her castle | | 23:21 | Reaching the Witch’s castle and following Herman’s trail | | 24:48 | Introduction of the Witch’s skeletal butler | | 29:33 | Swan Soap “twin bar” comedy; lamp-rubbing confusion in the witch’s lair | | 30:37 | Gracie befriends the Witch over tea | | 31:53 | Santa Claus reveals his connection with the Witch | | 32:43 | Gracie wakes from her dream | | 33:40 | Closing Christmas wishes by George and Gracie |

Conclusion

This timeless holiday comedy offers slapstick fun, rapid-fire jokes, and a playful spirit characteristic of Burns and Allen. The episode playfully weaves together classic fairy tales, comic misunderstandings, and sponsor plugs into a cozy radio holiday special that ends with a message of laughter, unity, and goodwill—all delivered in the warm, silly, and inventive style of its iconic cast.

A perfect listen for nostalgia lovers, holiday celebrants, and fans of vintage radio comedy.