The Smiths of Hollywood 47-01-24 – “Cecil Distributes Counterfeit Money”

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: September 28, 2025
Source Show: The Smiths of Hollywood (original air date: January 24, 1947)

Overview

In this classic Golden Age radio comedy, the Smith family faces a hilarious debacle when Uncle Cecil, an eccentric Englishman, inadvertently distributes counterfeit money after landing a job at the local bank. The chaos that ensues involves misunderstood intentions, family squabbles, a botched charity sale, and the ever-watchful presence of the bank president, Mr. Upjohn. Peppered with witty banter and slapstick moments, the episode provides a comical lens on family, trust, and the hazards of misplaced confidence.

Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. Morning Chaos at the Smith Household (02:06–07:12)

• Nancy and Bill Smith’s morning is filled with affectionate bickering over breakfast, with Bill buried in his newspaper and Nancy humorously threatening to set it on fire to get his attention.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Nancy: "Bill, if you don't come out from behind that newspaper, I'm going to set fire to it." (03:01)
    • Bill (distracted): "Uh huh." (Repeated, 03:06–03:39)
• Uncle Cecil’s freeloading tendencies are a source of good-natured family frustration. He’s shown to break Bill’s golf clubs, wear his clothes, and “eat them out of house and home.”
  • Bill: “I sometimes wonder, is that guy a mouth or is he a man?” (04:27)

2. Uncle Cecil Gets (Almost) Employed (07:12–09:55)

• After some joking about banking hours, the family tries to help Uncle Cecil land a job at the First National Bank through Bill's connection to Mr. Upjohn.
  • Nancy: "Cecil's a nice man. And what's one more mouth to feed?" (04:23)
  • Bumps (the child): Suggests Cecil works at the bank—"maybe they need someone to scrape up cholera gum or fill inkwell." (07:47)
• Bill arranges a meeting, but Cecil is less than thrilled: "Really? How do I get out again?" (09:03)

3. Uncle Cecil, Bank 'Director' and His Misadventures (09:55–16:57)

• Upon reporting to his new post, Cecil’s confusion and snippy “English” humor alienate both customers and staff. He displays classic fish-out-of-water behavior, referencing British traditions.
• Cecil encounters counterfeit bills on Mr. Upjohn’s desk, misunderstanding their significance:
  • Cecil: "Is that money on your desk? I thought you kept it in vaults." (13:34)
  • Upjohn: “This is worthless money... it went through many hands before we spotted it here at the bank.” (13:40)
  • Cecil: "Worthless money, counterfeit money, what's the difference?" (21:10)
• Left alone, Cecil decides the “worthless” (actually counterfeit) money deserves “another chance” and removes it from the office. (16:28–16:57)

4. Counterfeit Money Hits the Streets (17:03–20:59)

• Cecil distributes the bills at a local bar, exchanging them with an unsuspecting patron for checks and feeling he’s performed a savvy bit of “banking.”
  • Cecil: “I got rid of it with no trouble at all. Saved the bank $200.” (20:45)
• Mr. Upjohn, upon hearing this, is aghast: “If it gets around our bank is giving out counterfeit bills, I’ll get a vacation all right." (21:04)

5. The Rummage Sale and Missing Charity Funds (21:40–25:41)

• Meanwhile, Nancy collects over $200 in checks at a club rummage sale, intending to use the funds for European relief. However, her purse goes missing, panicking her and raising suspicions.
  • Nancy: "Oh, Bill, my purse is gone with all those checks!" (25:11)
  • Bill (teasing): "The courts are full of such cases. I lost one like this just last week. Unfortunate woman got a year for embezzlement." (25:31)
• Bill finally produces the checks, having saved them from potential theft.
  • Nancy: “How did you get them?” (26:24)
  • Bill: “Nancy, I am a man of many secrets.” (26:28)

6. Resolution and Aftermath (27:09–28:16)

• The real thief is caught trying to cash a check at a racetrack; Mr. Upjohn calls to credit Cecil’s accidental role in the recovery, looking to apologize.
• Cecil, however, is resolute in his dignity and refuses to return to the bank, criticizing their management style:
  • Cecil: “Employees frequenting pubs, handing out counterfeit money. I say, is that any way to run a bank?” (28:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nancy (jokingly, about breakfast neglect):
  “I can’t even kiss you anymore without Dick Tracy breathing down my neck.” (02:55)

• Bill (deadpan, about Uncle Cecil):
  "I get you a job and it costs me money. Oh, that's high finance for you." (09:37)

• Mr. Upjohn (alarmed):
  "If it gets around our bank is giving out counterfeit bills, I'll get a vacation all right." (21:04)

• Bill (teasing Nancy):
  "The courts are full of such cases. I lost one like this just last week. Unfortunate woman got a year for embezzlement." (25:31)

• Cecil (summing up his bank experience):
  “Employees frequenting pubs, handing out counterfeit money. I say, is that any way to run a bank?” (28:13)

Important Timestamps

• 02:06 – The chaotic Smith family breakfast scene
• 07:29 – The idea to find Cecil a job at the bank
• 09:55 – Cecil heads to his first day as a bank “director”
• 13:34 – Cecil finds and questions the “worthless” money
• 16:57 – Cecil sets out to ‘save’ the counterfeit money
• 20:45 – Confesses to distributing the money, thinking he's helped the bank
• 25:11 – Nancy realizes her purse with charity checks is missing
• 26:28 – Bill reveals he's recovered the checks
• 27:09 – Mr. Upjohn calls to return the checks and apologize to Cecil
• 28:13 – Cecil scoffs at returning to a bank that was so haphazard

Tone & Style

The episode is marked by brisk, witty repartee, gentle ribbing ("mouth or man," "hideous little mind"), and a dose of farce—particularly in Cecil’s privileged but clueless handling of “banking.” The humor relies on British/American cultural contrasts, misunderstandings, and quick, overlapping dialogue. The family’s warm affection persists through all the mix-ups and blunders, making the story lighthearted and sharply comic.

For further enjoyment:
Fans of classic radio comedy, familial farce, and dry British wit will find this episode a delightful example of mid-century scripted humor that still tickles the funny bone today.