Twilight Zone ep004 - The Man In the Bottle

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Twilight Zone ep004 - The Man In the Bottle
Release Date: May 27, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Castles and Their Financial Struggles

The episode opens by introducing Arthur and Edna Castle, a married couple who manage a struggling pawn shop inherited through generations. Their financial woes are palpable as Arthur laments the constant barrage of bills and debts.

• Arthur Castle (01:11): "I entered that one myself instead. I get only bills."

Edna shares Arthur's frustration, highlighting their inability to receive any significant income despite their efforts.

2. Encounter with Mrs. Gumley and the Mysterious Bottle

Their mundane day takes an unexpected turn when Mrs. Gumley visits the pawn shop with what she claims is a valuable heirloom—a hand-blown glass wine bottle supposedly steeped in family history.

• Mr. Castle (02:37): "It's just a plain old glass wine bottle. Do you know what it's worth, actually? Nothing."

Initially skeptical, Arthur considers purchasing the bottle for a nominal sum due to his own financial constraints.

3. The Appearance of the Genie and the Offer of Wishes

As tensions rise between Arthur and Edna over their dire financial situation, the mysterious bottle seems to breathe, releasing a Genie dressed in a business suit.

• Genie (08:13): "How do you do?"

The Genie reveals his ability to grant four wishes, diverging from the traditional three-wish folklore. He presents himself as a legitimate being with specific terms.

• Genie (09:03): "What I'm offering you transcends any lottery the world has ever known."

Despite initial disbelief, Arthur and Edna are intrigued by the opportunity to change their fortunes.

4. Making Wishes and Facing Consequences

Arthur, driven by desperation, begins by wishing for the repair of a broken glass display case, which the Genie promptly fulfills.

• Arthur Castle (12:35): "Make it official, Mr. Castle."
• Genie (13:01): "Very well, then."

Emboldened by the success, Arthur and Edna proceed to use their second wish to conjure a million dollars in cash.

• Arthur Castle (14:15): "A million dollars. That's what we want."

The money initially appears as a "rain of money," but the couple soon faces the unintended consequences of their wishes. Despite their newfound wealth, they grapple with practical issues such as managing the money, paying taxes, and dealing with the skepticism of their community.

Notable interactions include:

• Arthur Castle (22:46): "And you too, Mrs. Tiola. You have a nice day now."
• Officer McLaren (20:12): "Hi there, Mrs. Gumley. Beautiful day."

As they continue to make wishes, the Castles realize that their desires lead to complications rather than the blissful resolution they anticipated.

5. The Final Resolution and Return to Reality

In a climactic turn, Arthur wishes to become the head of a foreign country to escape their problems permanently. This wish backfires dramatically, transporting him into a dystopian scenario where he adopts the persona of a tyrannical leader during a time of war.

• Genie (34:15): "Do you want to be the head of a country who can't be voted out of office."

The situation spirals out of control, culminating in Arthur's realization of the grave consequences of his final wish. He desperately wishes to return to his former life, undoing the damage caused by tampering with fate.

• Arthur Castle (36:30): "I wish I were back where it all started. I wish I were Arthur Castle again."

Returning to their original reality, Arthur and Edna find their pawn shop unchanged, with only minor remnants of the magical interference.

• Mrs. Gumley (38:00): "Your first wish. The glass case. It's not broken. It's still repaired."

The episode concludes with a poignant reflection on the perils of unchecked desires and the importance of cherishing what one already possesses.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Arthur Castle (01:11): "I entered that one myself instead. I get only bills."
• Genie (08:13): "How do you do?"
• Genie (09:03): "What I'm offering you transcends any lottery the world has ever known."
• Arthur Castle (14:15): "A million dollars. That's what we want."
• Genie (34:15): "Do you want to be the head of a country who can't be voted out of office."
• Arthur Castle (36:30): "I wish I were back where it all started. I wish I were Arthur Castle again."
• Mrs. Gumley (38:00): "Your first wish. The glass case. It's not broken. It's still repaired."

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Insights and Themes

• The Illusion of Easy Money: The Castles' initial hopes are dashed as their wishes bring unforeseen challenges, highlighting the classic theme that quick fixes often come with hidden costs.

• Fate and Consequence: The episode underscores the idea that altering one's destiny can lead to unpredictable outcomes, a common motif in Twilight Zone narratives.

• Value of Contentment: Ultimately, Arthur and Edna's journey emphasizes the importance of appreciating what one has rather than constantly yearning for more.

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Conclusion

"The Man In the Bottle" serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked ambition and the pursuit of instant wealth. Through the Castles' tumultuous experience with the Genie, listeners are reminded of the intrinsic value of perseverance, love, and contentment amidst life's challenges. This episode masterfully intertwines suspense, drama, and moral lessons, staying true to the essence of the Twilight Zone series.

Transcript

[Ryan]

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[Arthur Castle]

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[Narrator]

You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the twilight zone.

[Arthur Castle]

Morning, Mr. Castle. Hello, Ned. Any mail today? Got it right here. Where's my registered letter? Registered?

[Edna Castle]

Oh, I didn't see one.

[Arthur Castle]

The one that says I won the publisher's house sweepstakes.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Edna Castle]

Oh, well, I'll keep an eye out for it.

[Arthur Castle]

I entered that one myself instead. I get only bills. Yeah, the check's in the mail, Mr. Castle.

[Edna Castle]

Say, maybe tomorrow, huh?

[Arthur Castle]

Maybe. See ya. Another bill. And another and another. Edna, what about the gas and electric?

[Genie]

What?

[Arthur Castle]

The gas and electric bill. How many months is that?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Two months. That's one you'd better pay.

[Arthur Castle]

That's the one I can't pay.

[Mr. Castle]

Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

How are you, Mrs. Gumley?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Just.

[Mr. Castle]

Just fine, Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

Good. Glad to hear it.

[Mrs. Gumley]

How have you been?

[Arthur Castle]

Oh, can't complain.

[Mr. Castle]

Been having a lot of rain, haven't we?

[Mrs. Gumley]

What?

[Arthur Castle]

Oh, yes. Quite a bit of rain for this time of year.

[Mr. Castle]

Well, it's. It's good for the flowers. How's that good for the flowers? The rain, that is.

[Arthur Castle]

Yeah, very good for flowers.

[Mr. Castle]

An heirloom today, Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

An heirloom, Mrs. Gumley. You don't say.

[Mr. Castle]

Oh, yes, Mr. Castle. Been in my family for years.

[Arthur Castle]

Has it now?

[Mr. Castle]

Years and years. It's supposed to be very valuable. Hand blown glass is what it is, Mrs. Gummeley.

[Arthur Castle]

It's just a plain old glass wine bottle. Do you know what it's worth, actually? Nothing. Not even a deposit. If you could find the store where it came from, that's what they'd give you. Nothing.

[Mr. Castle]

I could let it go for a dollar.

[Arthur Castle]

Mrs. Gummly. If I could spare a dollar, I'd give it to you. Believe me, I would. But things have been rough here. The pawn shop business isn't what it used to be. I'm so in Debt myself.

[Mr. Castle]

I see.

[Arthur Castle]

Wait a moment.

[Mr. Castle]

Yes.

[Arthur Castle]

$1 it is, then. I wish it could be more, Mrs. Gumley. I really do.

[Mr. Castle]

God bless you, Mr. Castle. I could kiss you.

[Arthur Castle]

Stop that now. It's nothing.

[Mr. Castle]

You're a wonderful man.

[Arthur Castle]

Good luck to you.

[Mr. Castle]

And to you.

[Arthur Castle]

Better days for all of us.

[Mr. Castle]

Mr. Castle. It's not an heirloom, you know. I found it in a garbage can. It's just a dirty, old cheap glass bottle. Please, please forgive me for lying to you.

[Arthur Castle]

That's all right, Mrs. Gumling. Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out to be an heirloom. Just have to wait and see.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Who was that?

[Arthur Castle]

No one.

[Mrs. Gumley]

It sounded like Mrs. Gummley. Then I heard the cash register. What did you buy this time, edna? Oh, a bottle, Gorgeous.

[Arthur Castle]

She said it was an heirloom.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Is that right?

[Arthur Castle]

She has to eat, doesn't she?

[Mrs. Gumley]

And you don't?

[Arthur Castle]

That's not the point, arthur.

[Mrs. Gumley]

We're a couple of weeks away from bankruptcy.

[Arthur Castle]

Don't you think I know that?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Then you'd better start rubbing that bottle. And pray, arthur. Pray that a genie appears, because that's about the only hope we have left.

[Arthur Castle]

Ah, Edna. Edna, please.

[Narrator]

Mr. And Mrs. Arthur Castle, suspended in that brief fragment of time before fate comes out of a bottle. Mr. And Mrs. Arthur Castle, gentle and infinitely patient people whose lives have been a hope chest with a rusty lock and a lost set of keys. But in just a moment, that hope chest will be opened and an improbable phantom will try to bedeck the drabness of these two people's failure laden lives with the gold and precious stones of fulfillment. Mr. And Mrs. Arthur Castle, standing on the outskirts and about to enter the twilight zone.

[Stacy Keach]

And now, the twilight zone and our story, the man in the bottle. Starring Ed Begley, Jr. With Stacy Keach as your narrator.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Here, give me the bottle. Straight into the trash with it. If you won't do it, I will.

[Arthur Castle]

Wait. It's worth a couple of cents.

[Mrs. Gumley]

A couple of cents, Arthur? A couple of cents? We've got more creditors than we've got cheap watches. You promised me no more handouts.

[Arthur Castle]

Look, edna, maybe all that's left for me is to try and find someone who I can feel sorry for. Can you understand that? I need to feel that I'm doing something of value. Maybe a man can be a failure for only so long, and then. And then. And then it catches up with him.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, you're not a failure.

[Arthur Castle]

Of course I am. Look around, gedna. In this clutter, you see the legacy of a hundred Years my grandfather owned the shop and it finally broke his heart. Then my father, and it killed him, too. The meanness of it, Edna. The shabbiness of it. The hand to mouth of it. This isn't just a hawk shop where you buy the pitiful little residue of other people's failures. It's a shrine to failure, that's what it is. It's a mausoleum, a burial ground for people's hopes.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, please don't talk like that.

[Arthur Castle]

Edna. What happens to us anyway? What happens to us? Have you ever thought of that? We're not old people, and yet this place is making us old. There should be years ahead of us. Years without having to make do. Scrimping and counting and picking over checkbooks and budgets and final notices and old bills and.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Careful, Arthur. You're knocking things over.

[Arthur Castle]

I don't care about the bottle. I'm trying to explain.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur. What's all that smoke?

[Arthur Castle]

I don't know, but it seems to be coming from inside Mrs. Gummley's bottle.

[Genie]

How do you do?

[Arthur Castle]

Where did you come from?

[Genie]

From the bottle, of course.

[Arthur Castle]

The bottle.

[Genie]

It fell to the floor, the cork popped out and here I am, at your service.

[Arthur Castle]

I'm supposed to buy that? What do you take me for?

[Genie]

Rather than go into any lengthy, generic explanation of my existence, suffice it to say that I am here. And I am, in fact, a genie.

[Arthur Castle]

In a business suit with a derby hat and a walking stick. And you expect me to believe that. That you're a genie?

[Genie]

That's quite correct.

[Arthur Castle]

There's no such thing, except in fairy tales.

[Genie]

On the contrary, I am living proof, in a manner of speaking.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, who is this man?

[Arthur Castle]

You'll have to do better than that, mister. I don't know what you're trying to pull here.

[Genie]

Very well. I'll get right to the point. I can offer you four wishes with a guaranteed performance.

[Arthur Castle]

Four wishes? Aha. You got that wrong. It's supposed to be three. In every book I ever read, it was three wishes. Better get your story straight.

[Genie]

That's a myth, I'm afraid. Oh, they may have offered only three in the beginning, but for some time now, four has been the operant number. Some considerable time it's proven to be the most effective option. Think about it. Too few and a person may waste the opportunity of a lifetime, so to speak. Too many and, well, the possibilities can get out of hand. Frivolous, in other words. The opportunities tend to cancel each other out. If you see my point.

[Arthur Castle]

You've got your answers down. I'll Give you that?

[Mrs. Gumley]

I think I better sit.

[Genie]

Well, Mr. Castle. Mrs. Castle. What do you have in mind?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, I don't understand. What. What's happening here?

[Arthur Castle]

Don't worry, Edna. The bottom line is he's a con man, and he has to be.

[Mrs. Gumley]

But I see him. Don't you?

[Arthur Castle]

I don't know what I see. Could be some kind of hypnotist or something. Remember that guy in television? He made an elephant disappear.

[Genie]

Child's play. Smoke and mirrors.

[Arthur Castle]

You're telling me you're not a magician?

[Genie]

Nothing of the sort. I grant four wishes to the owner and then go back inside the bottle for a century and a day.

[Arthur Castle]

A hundred years inside a bottle plus one day.

[Genie]

A nice touch, don't you agree? Until a summons comes from the next owner.

[Arthur Castle]

What if there isn't another owner?

[Genie]

But my dear fellow, there must be. Consider the span of a man's life. Threescore and 10. Isn't that the tradition?

[Arthur Castle]

So let's say nobody calls you or it's the wrong day.

[Genie]

Ah, you've hit the nail on the head. I've learned to cultivate patience beyond anything you can possibly imagine. All of which means you're extraordinarily lucky today. As in I? In a manner of speaking.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Maybe he's from the lottery.

[Arthur Castle]

We didn't play the lottery this week, Edna.

[Genie]

Just as well. The odds are quite unrealistic. What I'm offering you transcends any lottery the world has ever known. They're strictly nickel and dime operations in comparison.

[Arthur Castle]

I have to think this over.

[Genie]

Take your time. Interesting shop you have here. Chinese vases, Tiffany lamps, bric a brac of every sort of. Mostly imitation, of course. No offense. Nonetheless, I have the distinct feeling I have seen some of these items before.

[Arthur Castle]

How could you, if you haven't been out of the bottle in a hundred years?

[Genie]

I meant the originals.

[Mrs. Gumley]

The originals? How old are you?

[Genie]

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. Nice silver cigarette case. Faux Victorian, isn't it?

[Arthur Castle]

My uncle's. He passed it down from his great uncle who bought it in Liverpool in 1914.

[Genie]

Is that what he said? How much?

[Arthur Castle]

Take it. Get back to the subject. What else? About the wishes?

[Genie]

Oh, yes. Now, I think the business at hand is for you and Mrs. Castle to decide the nature of your four wishes. Keeping in mind, of course, that each wish is irrevocable. Once made, it is fulfilled. And once fulfilled, it is a matter of record. It can only be altered by yet Another wish. Clear, Mr. Castle?

[Arthur Castle]

Clear enough. I think we better call the police.

[Genie]

Why not? Wish for them. I can bring you Scotland Yard, the Federal Bureau of Investigation or every bobby in the city of London.

[Arthur Castle]

That won't be necessary.

[Genie]

Is it the police you want?

[Arthur Castle]

No, that's not what we wish for.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, are you out of your mind?

[Genie]

Go ahead, Mr. Castle. You were saying?

[Arthur Castle]

Well, if I had a wish.

[Mrs. Gumley]

You believe him?

[Arthur Castle]

Just for the sake of argument, let's say that I wanted that broken glass in the case over there. Let's say I wanted it to be fixed.

[Genie]

The glass display case.

[Arthur Castle]

Unless that's too hard for you. I broke it cleaning up the other day. One whole side is cracked.

[Genie]

Is that all?

[Arthur Castle]

It's too expensive to replace and impossible to glue together. Impossible?

[Genie]

Would you like to make it official, Mr. Kessel?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, be careful with this man. You don't know what he's after.

[Genie]

Well, Mr. Castle, is that your wish?

[Arthur Castle]

Yes, that is my wish. I want the glass in the case to be repaired.

[Genie]

Very well, then.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Am I dreaming? It's a magic trick. It has to be.

[Arthur Castle]

No, you're not dreaming, Edna. I see it too. It's like new. How. How did you do that?

[Genie]

Next.

[Arthur Castle]

What?

[Genie]

Well, Mr. Castle, you have three wishes left.

[Arthur Castle]

Three wishes? Three, Edna. Three wishes. Anything we want? Think, Edna. Think. What? What do we want?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Why, I don't. I don't know.

[Arthur Castle]

I asked you to think.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I'm frightened.

[Arthur Castle]

A new shop, Edna. An expensive shop on fifth Avenue. We could have that just for the asking. But, Arthur. Or travel. Take trips. We could see the places we could never afford to visit. Like Paris or Rome or even the South Seas. We could take a cruise around the world, first class.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Surely there's a catch.

[Arthur Castle]

Oh, money. $100,000? $200,000? A million. We wouldn't have to grub anymore. We wouldn't have to sit here and waste our lives away.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, it isn't right. There's something. There's something unholy about it.

[Arthur Castle]

Clothes, Edna. Expensive clothes. Jewels, a beautiful house. No more worries for the rest of our lives.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Are you sure, Edna?

[Arthur Castle]

We don't have to rot away here. We can have anything we want. Anything, Edna. Money.

[Genie]

Money. The simplest of all requests, Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

Simple. For you, maybe.

[Genie]

How much would you like? In what denominations?

[Arthur Castle]

Edna? How much do we want?

[Mrs. Gumley]

I don't know. I just don't know.

[Arthur Castle]

A million dollars. That's what we want. A million dollars?

[Genie]

In what form? Gold? Silver? Of course, there are market fluctuations in precious metals, so there will naturally be an element of risk. Platinum shows the least movement. Diamonds are relatively stable at the moment.

[Arthur Castle]

Forget it. Cash only. All negotiable. US currency.

[Genie]

Very good denominations.

[Arthur Castle]

No 50s or hundreds. Make it five and ten dollar bills. Recent dates and no counterfeits.

[Genie]

Where would you like it? Savings account or checking? Perhaps a numbered deposit in a Swiss bank.

[Arthur Castle]

Right here. Here where I can see it on the floor. Don't you worry about that. Just bring it here. I'll take care of the rest.

[Genie]

That is your second wish.

[Arthur Castle]

You understand English, don't you? That's our wish.

[Genie]

Coming right up. Oh, just one thing.

[Arthur Castle]

Aha.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, I told you.

[Genie]

Do you mind terribly if I.

[Arthur Castle]

If what?

[Genie]

If I smoke.

[Arthur Castle]

Is that all?

[Genie]

Of course, if you prefer. Otherwise I see the no smoking sign on the wall.

[Arthur Castle]

No, no. Go right ahead.

[Genie]

Very well. Now then, Mr. Castle, where were we? Ah, yes. I was about to say, ask and you shall receive.

[Mrs. Gumley]

What's that? Where's it coming from?

[Arthur Castle]

What is it? It's money. Look at it. A rain of money. Edna. Edna. A million dollars. A million dollars.

[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps. You know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere. With daily bonuses that should brighten your day a little. Actually, a lot. So sign up [e-mail]. that's chumbacasino.com.

[Arthur Castle]

No purchase necessary. BTW.

[Officer McLaren]

Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on a beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and. And a soaking tub. Expedia. Made to travel.

[Arthur Castle]

There you are, Edna. Champagne?

[Mrs. Gumley]

I think I've had more than enough.

[Arthur Castle]

I suppose you're right. How can I work if I have a hangover?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Well, you could take the day off.

[Arthur Castle]

Edna, you're a genius. Why didn't I think of that? We both could close up the store and.

[Mrs. Gumley]

And what? I wouldn't know what to do. Would you?

[Arthur Castle]

Well, let's see now. It's a beautiful day. We could take a walk together in the park.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, Arthur, I'd have to get dressed up and I don't have any comfortable shoes.

[Arthur Castle]

Or we could go to a restaurant. Any restaurant at all.

[Mrs. Gumley]

But we've already had lunch.

[Arthur Castle]

Then we could take in a film downtown or play a musical. Do you know how many years it's been since we did that and leave.

[Mrs. Gumley]

All this money out like this? I don't think that would be a good idea.

[Arthur Castle]

So we're prisoners here. We can't go anywhere, do anything for fear that someone might steal it from under our noses. What good is it?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, Arthur, we can put it in the bank.

[Arthur Castle]

That's tomorrow. The bank's closed now. Unless.

[Mrs. Gumley]

What are you thinking?

[Arthur Castle]

Call your brother on the telephone. Tell him to come over here. He needs money for his operation, remember?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, I like that idea.

[Arthur Castle]

And while you're at it, call Avrittin the Butcher and Mrs. Tiola and the checker at the market and the nice girl at the bank and the dry cleaner. And here, look in the book. All our old customers, the ones who can't afford to get their valuables out of hockey. Call them all. Every one.

[Mrs. Gumley]

What will I say?

[Arthur Castle]

Tell them. Tell them we need their help.

[Mrs. Gumley]

It's a miracle, that's what it is.

[Edna Castle]

I couldn't believe it when they called.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Where did they get it all?

[Mr. Castle]

They're such wonderful people.

[Arthur Castle]

And so generous, too.

[Edna Castle]

Hey, now, what's going on here?

[Mr. Castle]

Hello, Officer McLaren.

[Edna Castle]

The line's halfway down the street.

[Mr. Castle]

Yes, it's certainly is.

[Edna Castle]

They're having a fire sale in there or what?

[Mr. Castle]

It's that nice Mr. Tassel and his wife.

[Edna Castle]

What about them?

[Mr. Castle]

They're. Well, they're redeeming things.

[Edna Castle]

What things?

[Arthur Castle]

All kinds of things.

[Ryan]

As long as you've got your pawn.

[Mr. Castle]

Ticket, even if you don't, they remember, they're redeeming us, that's what they're doing. It's the loveliest gesture I've ever seen.

[Officer McLaren]

Hi there, Mrs. Gumley. Beautiful day.

[Mr. Castle]

Indeed it is.

[Officer McLaren]

Your turn, Mrs. Gumley. Go on in.

[Edna Castle]

Hold on. Where'd you get that fistful of money?

[Officer McLaren]

Right inside, officer. From Mr. And Mrs. Castle. Bless their souls.

[Edna Castle]

What are they doing, running numbers?

[Officer McLaren]

Nothing like that. Strictly legit.

[Edna Castle]

You're telling me they gave it to you?

[Officer McLaren]

Sure did. Enough to pay off their tab at the butcher shop and then some. Plus the next 10 years in advance.

[Edna Castle]

And whereabouts did they get this bankroll?

[Officer McLaren]

Don't ask me. But their ship sure must have come in big time.

[Edna Castle]

The horses, was it? Or the lottery.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I heard it was the sweepstakes that came in the mail.

[Ryan]

No, no, it was their cousin. He died and left them a fortune.

[Edna Castle]

Well, we'll just have to see about that.

[Mrs. Gumley]

They're not breaking any laws.

[Ryan]

I haven't had my turn yet. You're not going to arrest them, are you?

[Edna Castle]

Maybe not, but I'll keep a close eye on the Situation. In the meantime, I know someone who might be real interested in all this. Don't you people go blocking the sidewalk now.

[Arthur Castle]

Here you go, young man. Pay off that mortgage now.

[Ryan]

I will.

[Arthur Castle]

And then go have yourself a ball, you and your lovely wife.

[Ryan]

I. I don't get it. Why are you doing this?

[Arthur Castle]

Do I need a reason? Every time I come in your gas station, you look under the hood.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's nothing.

[Arthur Castle]

Check the air in the tires, all of it. Without my asking. I say that's worth something. It's worth a lot these days.

[Ryan]

Well, thanks, Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

Bye. Now, who's next?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Mrs. Gumley, how are you?

[Mr. Castle]

Very well, thank you.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Here, you take this now. I want you to have it so much.

[Arthur Castle]

Don't you Worry about it, Mrs. Gumley. Anything you need, anything at all, you come to us. There's more where that came from. For you. Plenty more.

[Mr. Castle]

God bless you both.

[Arthur Castle]

Here you are, Reverend. It's honest money. You can get the church painted. Oh, that would be so nice for the parishioners. I know how long you've been taking up collections. Yes, but I'm afraid it's never enough when. Well, it is now. Consider it done.

[Edna Castle]

Thank you. I'll consider it a donation.

[Mrs. Gumley]

But why are you giving me this money, Mrs. Castle? Why? Because you're so bright and cheery every time I'm in the market. Oh, Mrs. Castle, thank you. Will you put this in the bank now for when you get married?

[Arthur Castle]

And for you, Mr. Jacks.

[Mrs. Gumley]

And you too, Mrs. Tiola. You have a nice day now.

[Arthur Castle]

Don't mention it. Buy a round for everybody, on me.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Is that all of them?

[Arthur Castle]

Ah, for now. Put the clothes sign in the window, would you, please?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Of course, dear.

[Arthur Castle]

Now, that's what I call a day's work.

[Mrs. Gumley]

You did wonderfully well, Arthur. I'm so proud of you.

[Arthur Castle]

You know, Edna, I don't care how we spend the rest. I feel so good right now, seeing all those happy faces.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I know it would be nice to get away for a while, though.

[Arthur Castle]

I agree. Sometime in the sun. Nothing fancy.

[Mrs. Gumley]

How much do we have left?

[Arthur Castle]

Look in the box. It's still practically full. We didn't put a dent in it.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Your father would be proud, rest his soul. And your grandfather.

[Arthur Castle]

Tell me your opinion about something, Edna.

[Mrs. Gumley]

If you like, dear.

[Arthur Castle]

I'm wondering, do you suppose I still need to carry on the family business? Well, we don't have a son or daughter.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I'd say you've more than done enough, Arthur, all these years.

[Arthur Castle]

Even if we did have kids. I'd rather Leave them money to start their own business. Something with a future. What about your cousin's children?

[Mrs. Gumley]

That would be a wonderful present.

[Arthur Castle]

And what about you? You've been so patient all these years. What would you like?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Well, first, of course, you're going to retire. No ifs, ands, or buts. And then wherever you'd like to live. Arthur, as long as we're together.

[Arthur Castle]

Of course we'll be together. You think I'm gonna take up with a young floozy?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, no, no. I don't think that you wouldn't. It's not in your nature. But you're tired. You need to rest.

[Arthur Castle]

We both do. Rest and live. Yes.

[Edna Castle]

Good afternoon, Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

Do I know you? Let me see. Harry, Joy's son.

[Edna Castle]

I don't believe we've met before.

[Genie]

Wait.

[Arthur Castle]

Stu Wintner's nephew? That's it.

[Edna Castle]

Not quite.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Are you from the life insurance company? Because if you are, we've got your payment right here. Just let me count it out for you in cash.

[Arthur Castle]

Is that all right?

[Edna Castle]

That's not necessary.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Or we could write you a check just as soon as we make a deposit.

[Edna Castle]

And quite a deposit it will be, by the looks of all this.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I told you, Arthur, we should have put it away.

[Edna Castle]

Let me give you my card.

[Arthur Castle]

Internal Revenue Service.

[Edna Castle]

That's correct. There's a matter of an income tax. Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

You just send us the bill, and we'll pay it. But. Send the bill in a hurry, would you, please? My wife and I will be taking off for Europe very shortly. Oh, could we consider it done? Where would you like to go first? The Eiffel Tower? An African safari? Waltzing in Vienna, perhaps?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Dancing? We haven't been dancing since. Well, since. I don't remember.

[Arthur Castle]

All that's about to change. Madame, may I have this dance?

[Mrs. Gumley]

You may, sir. My, you're looking handsome.

[Arthur Castle]

And you're beautiful, my dear.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Such a good dancer.

[Arthur Castle]

As are you. May I have another dance?

[Mrs. Gumley]

My entire dance card.

[Edna Castle]

If you like dependents.

[Arthur Castle]

Hmm.

[Edna Castle]

Just a few details for the record.

[Arthur Castle]

Ask away. We have nothing to hide.

[Edna Castle]

How many dependents can you claim?

[Arthur Castle]

The whole neighborhood.

[Edna Castle]

They don't count.

[Arthur Castle]

Wait, wait. What's that figure? The one you just wrote down.

[Edna Castle]

Beginning with a sum of $1 million, taxed on the basis of a husband and wife, using the standard deductions and taking into account unpaid back taxes, approximately $907,000.

[Arthur Castle]

That's how much I have left. Good. Fabulous.

[Edna Castle]

That's how much you owe the government.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I beg your pardon?

[Edna Castle]

In addition, there's a state income tax Involved which, using thumb rule, would come to a rough figure of $35,000.

[Arthur Castle]

You mean hundreds, don't you?

[Edna Castle]

Then there will be a matter of a 5% penalty.

[Arthur Castle]

For what?

[Edna Castle]

If you fail to file a declaration within 30 days of today's date. But I'm sure you won't let that happen. The whole thing will amount to about roughly, mind you. Let's see here. $942,640.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, we've given away a lot of money already.

[Arthur Castle]

I'll figure out how much.

[Edna Castle]

Fill out this form and send it to us with your check. It should be self explanatory if you want to use the installment plan. We'll send you a statement after your records have been analyzed. Mr. Castle.

[Arthur Castle]

Yeah, yeah. Send us the bill.

[Edna Castle]

We'll be seeing you. Good Evening to you, Mrs. Castle.

[Mrs. Gumley]

I wonder if we can appeal it.

[Arthur Castle]

Help me. Edna. You take this pile. 76, 77, 78.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, Arthur. Where's the genie when we need him?

[Genie]

Hello.

[Ryan]

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[Arthur Castle]

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[Officer McLaren]

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[Mrs. Gumley]

Well. How much is there?

[Arthur Castle]

910,535. $910,540. We give away almost $60,000 and this goes to taxes. Leaving us with this one. Five dollar bill. That's our entire profit, Edna. Five whole dollars.

[Mrs. Gumley]

That was quite a wish, Arthur. Quite a wish. And we haven't even paid the bills yet.

[Genie]

If you'll recall, it was my suggestion that you reflect very carefully, Mr. Castle. Very, very carefully.

[Arthur Castle]

Now he shows up.

[Genie]

Had you made a wish that took into account the taxes involved?

[Arthur Castle]

Look you, plenty of sweet talk and promises in the whole thing. And all the time you're Nothing but a con artist after all this time. I want the million dollars, But I want it after.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Arthur, no more money. You've got to wish for something else.

[Arthur Castle]

Something else then? A new store. A chain of stores they could burn.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Down one hour after we get them.

[Arthur Castle]

Success.

[Genie]

Be careful, Mr. Castle. Success is a pretty broad term.

[Mrs. Gumley]

He's right. You can't wish for success. I've got it. How about 10 more wishes? Or 20 or.

[Genie]

Very clever, Mrs. Castle. Wishing for more wishes. But I'm afraid that isn't permitted. Frankly, I'd be afraid to have you try for fear of the consequences.

[Arthur Castle]

What consequences?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Why do you have to keep losing your temper? Why can't you think about this thing carefully and then come up with.

[Arthur Castle]

Well, you're no help to me, that's for sure. Here we stand in the middle of this crummy little pawn shop with a whole world out in front of us and anything to wish for that we want. Anything. And you just stay on my back and stop it.

[Mrs. Gumley]

This doesn't sound like you. Not like the man I married. Not at all.

[Arthur Castle]

Edna, what's happening to us? What's really going on here?

[Genie]

Oddly enough, this is the normal pattern that seems to be generally followed by great excitement, great emotionalism, and strangely enough, hard to believe, though it may be, only a modicum of happiness.

[Arthur Castle]

Well, you've got cheap customers here. Our price is no longer so high. We're people who haven't had much happiness. People who've carried a crummy hawkshop on their backs all their lives. What, Edna, tell me. What do we wish for?

[Mrs. Gumley]

I don't know, Arthur. I just don't know.

[Arthur Castle]

What about it? What can I wish for now? What can come to me without tricks?

[Genie]

Without tricks? I question the semantics here, Mr. Castle. There are no tricks involved. There are simply normal and understandable outgrowths and conditions that go with any windfall. No matter what you wish for, you must be prepared for the consequences.

[Arthur Castle]

What sort of consequences?

[Genie]

Nothing more than cause and effect. Consider, for example, what happens when you throw a stone into a lake. The stone sends out ripples in the water. After a while, these ripples reach the shore. The bigger the stone, the bigger the ripples. And if the stone is large enough, you'll get a wave of water, even a tidal wave that could sweep you off your feet. It all depends on how much you disturb the way things were to begin with. Now do you see what I mean about consequences?

[Arthur Castle]

Then? I need something without consequences.

[Genie]

I'm not sure that's entirely possible.

[Arthur Castle]

Something dead sure at least something anchored. Something airtight.

[Genie]

I must agree. That would be the ticket.

[Arthur Castle]

Is there such a thing?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Sit down now. You'll give yourself a heart attack.

[Arthur Castle]

Edna. I think I've got it. I think I know what it is.

[Mrs. Gumley]

What, Arthur?

[Arthur Castle]

Power, Edna. Power. Prerogatives. To be in charge of something. To be a boss. To be a leader. With respect and the freedom to live as one likes. We could wish for that.

[Genie]

Possible, very possible. President of a corporation. That sort of thing.

[Mrs. Gumley]

We could be sued, go bankrupt.

[Genie]

Warden of a prison.

[Arthur Castle]

That's idiotic.

[Genie]

Mayor of a city.

[Mrs. Gumley]

We could get voted out of office. And then what?

[Arthur Castle]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know what. Head of a country. Ruler of a whole country. That's it.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Who can't be voted out of office.

[Arthur Castle]

What about it, Genie? I want to be the head of a country who can't be voted out of office.

[Genie]

Is that your wish? Do you want to be more specific than that?

[Arthur Castle]

Hold on, hold on. Let me give it to you this way. I want to be the head of a foreign country who can't be voted out of office. But it must be a major country, well known. Not some poverty stricken third world place. And not in ancient times either. In modern history.

[Genie]

How do you define modern?

[Arthur Castle]

Within my lifetime and developed a fully industrialized country with millions of educated people, where I'm very popular and can't be voted out of office.

[Genie]

No problem.

[Arthur Castle]

You sure?

[Genie]

Of course I'm sure.

[Arthur Castle]

I mean, what about the consequences?

[Genie]

Consequences? Mr. Castle, I've already told you. You run the risk of consequences no matter what you wish for. Like the ripples in a stream, there's no predicting. At least not with absolute certainty where they lead.

[Arthur Castle]

All right then.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Go ahead, Arthur. Wish for that. The thing you said.

[Arthur Castle]

I want to be the head of a foreign country. Just as I've described it. Now it's your turn. Genie, take over.

[Genie]

As you wish, Mr. Castle. As you wish.

[Officer McLaren]

You'll forgive me, sir.

[Arthur Castle]

Yes.

[Officer McLaren]

I have not slept in three nights now, but the situation is as I described. The first Ukrainian army has cut us off from the south. There's no sign of Wink's reserve army. There is no reserve army. We are simply doomed. There is no hope for us. From now on, it is just a mass suicide.

[Edna Castle]

Did you hear what I said?

[Officer McLaren]

They are already in Berlin. What about it, Fuhrer?

[Genie]

Fuhrer, what do you want to do?

[Arthur Castle]

Why do you call me that name?

[Genie]

Here is what you asked for. Very quick and very painless, mein Fuhrer. Won't we have the gasoline for you on Frulein brown. When you're finished.

[Arthur Castle]

Head of a country can't be voted out of office. It's the end of the war and I'm in a bunker and I'm.

[Genie]

Heil hitler.

[Officer McLaren]

It's almost the end.

[Genie]

I've given them the poison. They'll take the bodies out into the courtyard and burn them when it's finished. Have the gasoline ready.

[Arthur Castle]

I won't take the poison. I wish. I wish I were back where it all started. I wish I were arthur castle again.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Oh, arthur, you've broken it.

[Arthur Castle]

What? Broken What?

[Mrs. Gumley]

The bottle Mrs. Gumley brought in.

[Arthur Castle]

Why, I have, haven't I? Not poison an old wine bottle.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Let me sweep it up for you.

[Arthur Castle]

I can do it.

[Mrs. Gumley]

It had no value anyway.

[Arthur Castle]

No. No value at all. I'm here. My final wish. I'm really here. Now, where is he?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Where is who?

[Arthur Castle]

You know who. I mean. The don't.

[Mrs. Gumley]

And why would he be here? You've had your four wishes, remember?

[Arthur Castle]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess I'm a four time loser. What do you expect? I just wish he doesn't come back. I wish.

[Mrs. Gumley]

There you go, wishing again, right?

[Arthur Castle]

Why should I? Why did I? Look at what we have here, edna. We have a business that's been in my family for three generations.

[Mrs. Gumley]

And each other. We have each other.

[Arthur Castle]

Other. I'm gonna stop wishing for a while. You know, edna, I can't afford a brand new life.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Neither can I. I think I'll just.

[Arthur Castle]

Give the old one a new paint job.

[Mrs. Gumley]

You know something, arthur? I think that's a very good idea.

[Arthur Castle]

What is it? Look.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Your first wish. The glass case. It's not broken. It's still repaired.

[Arthur Castle]

So we came out ahead after all. Nothing's ever a complete loss, is it?

[Mrs. Gumley]

Careful, arthur, with the broom handle.

[Arthur Castle]

Well, we were ahead.

[Mrs. Gumley]

Now you have more glass to clean up.

[Arthur Castle]

You know something? I don't mind cleaning up any of it. Not at all. In fact, not at all.

[Narrator]

A poet named lowell said it. Something to the effect that granting our wish is one of fate's saddest jokes. Lesson to be learned out of a few fragments of broken glass in a trash can. And a word to the wise, to the garbage collectors of the world, to the curio seekers, to the antique buffs, to everyone who would try to coax a miracle from unlikely places. Check the bottle you're taking back for that deposit because the genie you save might be your own. Case in point, Mr. And Mrs. Arthur Castle, fresh from the briefest of trips into the twilight zone.

[Stacy Keach]

Back to the twilight Zone. After these brief words.

[Narrator]

You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone. Hi, this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to take a moment to tell you about our Twilight zone website at twilightzoneradio.com at twilightzoneradio.Com you'll find the latest information on these Twilight Zone radio dramas and including behind the scenes photographs, plus the newest product releases, trivia contests, ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone related info and merchandise, plus links to other fascinating websites. So make your next stop twilightzoneradio.com Visit.

[Ryan]

Twilightzoneradio.Com to purchase these Twilight Zone radio dramas on cassette and CD, or call toll free 1-866-989-ZONE. That's 1-866-989-9663.

[Stacy Keach]

The man in the Bottle, starring Ed Begley Jr. With Stacy Keach as your narrator, was adapted for radio by Dennis Etchison and based on a script by Rod Serling. Her heard in the cast were Linda Ryder, David Darlow, Guy Burrill, Rosalind Alexander, Richard Hensel, Rich Komanik, Carl Amari, Dianne Trice, Irene Olson and Richard Shavzen. To learn more about the Twilight Zone radio dramas and to obtain audio cassettes and CDs of these programs, visit our website at twilightzoneradio.com the producers of the Twilight Zone wish to thank CBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison, Dick Brescia Associates, Claire Simon Casting Terry Jennings Exim Satellite Radio the American Forces Radio and television service, Sirius Satellite Radio, our sponsors and our radio affiliates for helping make this series possible. This copyrighted radio series is produced and directed by Carl Amari and Roger Wolsky for Falcon Picture Group. Doug James speaking.

[Ryan]

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[Arthur Castle]

Void where prohibited by law.

[Officer McLaren]

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