
Twilight Zone ep007 - Mr. Dingle, the Strong
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Rod Serling
You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the twilight zone.
Joseph Callahan
Go for a pass. Okay. Fumble.
Luther Dingle
Let's see now. Fairfield. Excuse me, boys.
Joseph Callahan
Hey, mister, get out of the way. Yeah, we're playing football.
Luther Dingle
Surely, but first. That is, if you don't mind. Huh? Could you. Could you direct me to. Yeah.
Joseph Callahan
What do you want to know for?
Luther Dingle
Well, I've never been to that particular neighborhood and.
Joseph Callahan
How come you're carrying that thing?
Luther Dingle
Oh, this? This is The Hercules mark 4. The finest device ever made for hearth and home.
Joseph Callahan
What is it, some kind of an invention?
Luther Dingle
Why, yes, as a matter of fact. A new breakthrough in home hygiene. It removes dust and dirt that you can't see with the naked eye. It comes complete with a laboratory grade filter and an extension hose.
Joseph Callahan
You mean a vacuum cleaner?
Luther Dingle
No, no, no, no, no. Nothing so prosaic.
Joseph Callahan
Yeah, it is. And you're a salesman. You better stay away from my place. My dad hates salesmen. Mine too. He'll suck you in the jaw. The last guy that came around.
Luther Dingle
If you could just point the way to yancy street over there by the park.
Joseph Callahan
But don't stop at my house neither. My mom will kick your butt.
Luther Dingle
Yeah, yeah, of course. Oh, that guy was weird.
Joseph Callahan
Yeah, with his little hat. Ha ha. What a loser.
Luther Dingle
Well, here we are at yancy street. May as well try the first apartment.
Joseph Callahan
Yeah.
Luther Dingle
Madam, may I have a word?
Joseph Callahan
Who are you?
Luther Dingle
My name's dingle. I have something for you.
Joseph Callahan
You a process server?
Luther Dingle
No, ma'. Am. I'm here to social worker. No, no, not at all. I merely a cop. No, no.
Joseph Callahan
You said you wanted to give me something.
Luther Dingle
Oh, yes, indeed.
Joseph Callahan
Well, you can come in, I guess, for a minute.
Luther Dingle
Lovely place you have here.
Joseph Callahan
Yeah, sure it is.
Luther Dingle
Now then, I have the most amazing thing to show you.
Joseph Callahan
That it.
Luther Dingle
Yes?
Joseph Callahan
Looks kind of like a big tin can with knobs and wires.
Luther Dingle
I'll just plug it in. Now pretend, if you will, that this rug here is your brain. And this dirt.
Joseph Callahan
What are you doing?
Luther Dingle
This dirt is all the messy thoughts in your head.
Joseph Callahan
You threw dirt on my floor?
Luther Dingle
No. Watch what happens when I turn on the hercules mark four. All that filth goes away in a flash.
Joseph Callahan
It better.
Anthony O'Toole
See?
Luther Dingle
Suck, suck, suck. Gone, gone, gone.
Joseph Callahan
Get that thing out of my house.
Luther Dingle
If you wish. But first I'd like to tell you.
Anthony O'Toole
About what's going on in there.
Joseph Callahan
It's a crazy man. He spilled dirt all over and then.
Anthony O'Toole
He say, pal, what are you trying to pull?
Luther Dingle
I was just demonstrating.
Anthony O'Toole
You a salesman?
Luther Dingle
Well, you might say it.
Anthony O'Toole
Well, take your crap and get moving.
Luther Dingle
Just one question before I go.
Anthony O'Toole
What's that?
Luther Dingle
I don't suppose that is you. You wouldn't care to purchase one of my vacuum cleaners by any chance?
Anthony O'Toole
Get out. Now.
Luther Dingle
You know we have easy time. Pam.
Joseph Callahan
Look at him. I told you, mister. My old man don't like salesmen.
Luther Dingle
Thank you. Thank you both very much. No, I think. I think I'll just try the next block over.
Narrator
Well, callahan, you heard the man. He says he's not gonna pay, so that's that.
Anthony O'Toole
Yeah, you want me to pay on a bum call? Where I come from, a bet's a bet. You saw the play. The umpire's blind. Look, you shouldn't have took the bet. I set the odds and you took them. All I want is what's coming to me.
Narrator
Ah, hello, Mr. Dingle. The usual?
Luther Dingle
Not quite yet, Mr. O'. Toole. Just allow me to sit here and collect my thoughts.
Rod Serling
Uniquely american institution known as the neighborhood bar. First up is Mr. Anthony O', Toole, proprietor who waters his drinks like geraniums, but who stands four square for peace and quiet and booths for ladies. Then Mr. Joseph Callahan, an unregistered bookie whose entire life is any sporting event with two sides and a set of odds. His idea of a summit meeting is any dialogue between a catcher and a pitcher with more than one man on base. And the citizen who wants his payoff is every anonymous better. Whoever dropped rent money on a horse race, a prize fight or a floating crap game, and who took out his frustrations and his insolvency on any vulnerable fellow barstool companion within arms and fists reach. And Mr. Luther Dingle, a vacuum cleaner salesman whose volume of business is roughly that of a valet at a hobo convention. He is a consummate failure at almost everything. But soon two visitors from outer space will arrive on the scene and alter the destiny of luther dingell by leaving him a legacy. In just a moment, a sad faced punching bag who missed even the caboose of life's gravy train will take a short constitutional into that most unpredictable region, the one we refer to as the twilight zone.
Narrator
And now, the twilight zone and our story, Mr. Dingle the Strong, starring tim kazarinski, with stacy keach as your narrator.
Anthony O'Toole
Don't give me that, callahan. I've told you before, I don't pay off on a bum call. Three umpires called him out. I called him out. 11,000 fans called him out. Final score, Pittsburgh 3, Dodgers, nothing. You and me got an even bet. I got the Pirates. Hence you owe me five bucks. I know a bum call when I see one. That ball was foul when it hit him. It don't matter what you think you saw. So instead of an out, it was a foul ball. Who's to say he wouldn't have got on base so that after the single he would have scored a run? And like that? You're dreaming. And furthermore, Callahan, you. You're a low down, cheatin insult to American bookiedom. I'm gonna give you five seconds to take back that innuendo.
Narrator
Callahan. I told you once before already.
Anthony O'Toole
Told me what?
Narrator
You started brawling here again. And I'll fix that mouth of yours so from now on you'll be doing all your drinking through a tube stuck in a vein.
Anthony O'Toole
Me? I give you trouble?
Narrator
You heard me.
Anthony O'Toole
Tell it to the number one welcher of all the western states over here. This guy still owes me money for the fight.
Luther Dingle
He. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anthony O'Toole
Maybe on account of that was a bum call, too. And I don't pay off on bum calls. Hey, Dingle.
Luther Dingle
Yes?
Anthony O'Toole
You remember that fight? The champ's out of the ring and the ref gives him a long count. Like everybody in the room could have gone out for a beer, engaged in some small talk and then come back and still sat down before the ref has finished counting. Now, how about that? I'm asking you.
Luther Dingle
Me?
Anthony O'Toole
Yeah, you. How about that? You're asking Dingle? I sure am. I'm asking him.
Luther Dingle
Well, I don't know.
Anthony O'Toole
You see the game on television last night?
Luther Dingle
Well, as a matter of fact. As a matter of fact, I did watch it. Yes.
Anthony O'Toole
There you go. Now we'll settle this. You talk about bum calls. Ninth inning. Batters up with two down. And we got a man on first and a man on second. And this umpire with no pupils in his eyes calls a foul ball and out. You see that?
Luther Dingle
I believe I did see that particular play.
Narrator
Then you tell him. You just tell him what you saw.
Luther Dingle
Go on. Exceptional defensive play. Abner Doubleday would have been proud.
Anthony O'Toole
Never mind Abner Doubleday. I leave it up to you. Was that a foul ball or was it an owl?
Luther Dingle
Well. Well, I.
Anthony O'Toole
Come on over to the bar, Dingle, and I'll buy you a drink, refresh your memory. I'll pay for it.
Narrator
Put your money away, both of yous. This one's on the house.
Anthony O'Toole
Okay, take your time. Say it. Say what you saw.
Luther Dingle
Well, it did appear to me yeah. It appeared to me that the ball was in safe territory.
Anthony O'Toole
Appeared?
Luther Dingle
Consequently, upon striking the ground and then hitting the batter, the rules would very clearly indicate that the batter was out.
Anthony O'Toole
You heard it. You realize, of course, pal, that you're calling me a liar. Now, I ain't an unreasonable man.
Alien 1
So.
Anthony O'Toole
So I'll give you one more chance.
Luther Dingle
All right?
Anthony O'Toole
Was that a foul or was it an out?
Luther Dingle
Well, as I say, it's my considered opinion.
Anthony O'Toole
Here's what I think of your opinion.
Narrator
Hey, that's enough. Back off. What happened here, Mr. Dingle? Let me help you.
Luther Dingle
Oh, oh, yes. Thank you very kindly, Mr. O'. Toole.
Narrator
How come you always got a hit, Dingle? You hit him last week. You hit him the week before.
Anthony O'Toole
A man can only stand so much. I'm tired of this guy contradicting me. And when somebody calls me a liar, there's my honor to consider. Your honor. You've got nothing but larceny in you all the way from your arches to where you part your hair. And when you die, they're gonna have to screw you into the ground. How about that, Dingle? Is that true? I'm crooked? I leave it to you, buddy. Am I crooked?
Narrator
Well, Dingle, Dingle, just once, why can't you just be neutral?
Luther Dingle
That's an interesting question.
Anthony O'Toole
Watch what you say, Dingle. I got money riding on this.
Alien 2
You are sure we are invisible?
Alien 1
Beyond any doubt.
Alien 2
This represents a typical gathering place for Earth men.
Alien 1
From the coordinates, yes.
Alien 2
Did you ever see such primitive looking creatures?
Alien 1
Typical earthmen.
Anthony O'Toole
And I say that anybody tells me Philadelphia had any right to win the pennant that year. As out of their green grass minds, you're blind as a bat. And you're stupid too. And furthermore, if you're gonna sit there and tell me. Look at the record books. What? I rest my case.
Alien 2
Not entirely typical. The one in the middle with the hat and peculiar neck adornment.
Alien 1
In Earth terminology, I believe it is called a bowtie.
Alien 2
He appears to have suffered physical damage.
Alien 1
At the hands of his fellow humans. Appalling.
Alien 2
This might be the perfect specimen.
Alien 1
Does that compute?
Alien 2
The very one we're looking for.
Alien 1
Silence. I'm receiving his brain waves now.
Alien 2
Awaiting confirmation.
Alien 1
His name is Dingle. He's an abject coward. He doesn't even possess the minimum musculature for survival on this planet.
Alien 2
Decidedly a subphysical type.
Alien 1
A genetic throwback.
Alien 2
I believe we have found our subject.
Alien 1
You intend to give him the additional strength?
Alien 2
We have not found anyone weaker, have we?
Alien 1
Negative.
Alien 2
This one will make an exceptional subject. I estimate 11 additional psychograms, atomic weight. That should make him approximately 300 times as strong as the average human.
Alien 1
Yes, that will suffice. Contact the mother ship. Tell them we have picked a subject. They may begin observing him in 60 Earth seconds.
Alien 2
Confirmed. Adjust settings, Check. And prepare to let him have it.
Narrator
Look, Dingle, you don't gotta answer this guy at all.
Anthony O'Toole
What do you mean?
Narrator
Just cuz he don't happen to like the food.
Anthony O'Toole
Let him tell me. He's got a brain, don't he? Of course he does. You got a point of view, don't you, Dingle? All right, let's get historical. You follow the game, you know the stats. What did you think of the Phillies back in, say, 53? That was a big year.
Luther Dingle
The Phillies in 1953.
Anthony O'Toole
That's right. You tell me, for example, if you think Robin Roberts was one half the picture that Lebein was that year.
Narrator
Here we go again.
Luther Dingle
Well, of the two, I'd be inclined to take Roberts.
Anthony O'Toole
You heard the man, buddy. Why all the time you gotta fight me? Now, let's run through this one more time. You say that Robin Roberts had more stuff than Clem Lebein.
Luther Dingle
To be perfectly honest and candid as to the two men, as good as they both were, all things being equal.
Anthony O'Toole
So come on already. Hey, let the man talk. Who do you pick?
Luther Dingle
Robert.
Narrator
I'm telling you guys for the last time. You pull any more rough stuff around here, and I ain't gonna let you in that front door. Now look what you done to this poor little fella.
Anthony O'Toole
Ah, he's coming around.
Narrator
How do you feel, Dangle?
Luther Dingle
Clem Lebine was definitely superior.
Anthony O'Toole
You see, all I'm doing is helping him see things clear.
Luther Dingle
What was that? What was what? I don't know, but I definitely felt something for a second just then.
Narrator
How you doing?
Luther Dingle
You all right? Definitely. Clem Lebein.
Narrator
All the same, I think you better go on home.
Luther Dingle
If you insist, but I feel quite well. Quite remarkably well, in point of fact.
Narrator
Here's your vacuum.
Luther Dingle
Very kind of you, but I can carry it.
Narrator
Dingle, do you mind? You know, a word of advice.
Luther Dingle
Oh, no, not at all.
Narrator
Look, there's some guys in this world that are, you know, they're gonna get punched in the nose no matter who they pick in a ball game or who they vote for or the color of the tie they put on in the morning.
Luther Dingle
I quite agree, o'. Tool. Though I've always thought polka dots were quite stylish, personally.
Narrator
Yeah, well, look, you're one of those guys, Dingle. So you know what I think you ought to do from now on? Don't talk, just nod. If a guy asks you who you like in the third race, you just.
Luther Dingle
Smile at him, okay?
Narrator
If somebody asks you who you're voting for, you just nod.
Luther Dingle
Okay?
Narrator
And if you're sitting in the bleachers for a doubleheader and you hear some guy yelling for the Dodgers, you don't go yelling for the Pirates.
Luther Dingle
You just leave your seat and you go get a hot dog.
Narrator
You understand, Dingle?
Luther Dingle
I believe so. A word to the wise and so forth. Very considerate of you, Mr. O'. Toole. I'll definitely give the concept very further thought.
Narrator
Yeah.
Anthony O'Toole
What's the matter?
Luther Dingle
Well, that's odd.
Anthony O'Toole
What is?
Luther Dingle
I feel. I feel so funny.
Narrator
Funny how?
Luther Dingle
Oh, nothing. I'm sure I'm fine now. But for a moment there it was as if something passed over me or through me and I heard a high pitched sound. Very odd. Did anyone else hear it?
Narrator
I can't say as I did.
Anthony O'Toole
What's he talking about now?
Luther Dingle
Oh, well, no. What do you suppose caused that? Caused what? With this vacuum cleaner. Feels light as a feather. Not that the machine isn't light. It happens to be one of the lightest on the market.
Anthony O'Toole
Ah, give me a break.
Luther Dingle
No, it's a handy dandy gym cracker. A one piece of merchandise. A guaranteed to lighten the labor and lengthen the life of that wonderful partner in the American home, the house flower wife. But. But I've never noticed it was this light.
Narrator
Hey, see you, Dingle.
Anthony O'Toole
What the. Did you see that? The door fell off.
Narrator
Hey, look, Dingle, I mean, with all your faults, despite the fact that you cost me in band aids what I normally would have to put out for the water bill, you've always been a nice type fella who never gave me no trouble. But why all of a sudden do you have to go wrecking my front door?
Luther Dingle
Door? Oh, believe me, Mr. O', Toole, I am mystified. I am absolutely mystified. The door just seemed to. Just seem to come off its hinges when I grasped the knob very lightly in my hand, my right hand. I'll just set it here against the wall and you can do whatever you need to make it better again. I bid you good day, gentlemen.
Anthony O'Toole
Cheese o'. Toole. What kind of drink did you pour him anyway?
Joseph Callahan
Look it, there's that dweeb again.
Luther Dingle
Boys.
Joseph Callahan
Hey, mister, why'd you come back, huh? I told you my dad had sack you in the jaw and he did. Yeah, you're really Asking for it.
Luther Dingle
Quite right. Only this time I'm not going to Yancey street. Merely to that park bench to sit in the sun and collect my thoughts.
Joseph Callahan
He talks funny. I got an idea. Give me the ball. You throw it at him. Yeah, knock his dumb head off. Bet you can't do it. Watch this.
Luther Dingle
No, no, boys. That's not the best of all possible manners, is it?
Joseph Callahan
Pretty funny. Go pedal your vacuum cleaners, you creep, and throw the ball back.
Luther Dingle
Think you can catch it?
Joseph Callahan
He can't even throw it.
Luther Dingle
Oh, is that so? All right, go back for a pass.
Joseph Callahan
Sure.
Luther Dingle
Let me see now. How does one grip a football? Ah, yes. I think I've got it. Ready? Here goes.
Joseph Callahan
Whoa. Look at it go right at that building. It's gonna hit the window. Here's your lunch, Arthur.
Luther Dingle
You want some soup with you?
Rod Serling
Just let me read my paper here.
Anthony O'Toole
Okay, Lydia, I gotta go back to work.
Joseph Callahan
You're always at work. Don't you like being home no more.
Rod Serling
Too Hurts, do you? The air conditioner don't work if you.
Joseph Callahan
Tell the super to fix it.
Rod Serling
What the heck was that?
Luther Dingle
I don't know, Arthur. But you don't have to tell the super nothing.
Joseph Callahan
Cause now we got a nice cross ventilation all the way to the next apartment. Hey, mister, where'd you learn to throw a ball like that?
Luther Dingle
I really don't know. I don't know what's happening to me. What in the world is happening to me?
Anthony O'Toole
Get those kids down there. They broke my window.
Joseph Callahan
We better get out of here.
Luther Dingle
Yes.
Anthony O'Toole
Out of the street.
Luther Dingle
A taxi over here.
Anthony O'Toole
Where to?
Luther Dingle
I don't care. Anywhere. I'm in a hurry.
Anthony O'Toole
Get in, pal.
Luther Dingle
Oh, yes, of course.
Anthony O'Toole
Hey, you tore my back door off. What'd you do that for?
Luther Dingle
Oh, believe me, this is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. I'll leave it right here so you can fix it.
Anthony O'Toole
Now how am I gonna do that?
Luther Dingle
Just. Just let me catch my breath.
Anthony O'Toole
Hey, quit leaning on my car. You're tipping it over.
Joseph Callahan
Help.
Anthony O'Toole
Somebody get me out of here.
Luther Dingle
Oh, dear me. You're pinned under the steering wheel, aren't you? Give me a second there. You can get out now.
Joseph Callahan
Did you see that? He lifted the car and turned it.
Anthony O'Toole
Over with one hand.
Luther Dingle
I can't believe my eyes. Most amazing thing I ever saw.
Joseph Callahan
Who is he?
Rod Serling
He's a hero.
Joseph Callahan
What's your name?
Luther Dingle
No name. I mean, I'm nobody. Nobody at. Excuse me, miss.
Joseph Callahan
Yes?
Luther Dingle
May I share your park bench?
Joseph Callahan
Yes, of course. It's not mine. I only come here in the afternoons with your.
Luther Dingle
Your charming baby. I see.
Joseph Callahan
Oh, he's not mine either. I'm just the nanny. They want him to have his time in the park. No.
Luther Dingle
How perfectly lovely. I don't, actually. I'm. No, that is.
Joseph Callahan
You're not married?
Luther Dingle
Never.
Joseph Callahan
Really? That's hard to believe. A nice, normal man like you.
Luther Dingle
Why. Why, thank you.
Joseph Callahan
For what?
Luther Dingle
Well, no. No woman's ever said that to me before. That, you know, I'm. I'm normal.
Joseph Callahan
You're joking.
Luther Dingle
I wish I were. I'm not acquainted with many women. Hardly any, in fact, on the personal level. Gosh, I. I hope you don't mind chatting like this.
Joseph Callahan
Not at all. I spend a lot of time here taking care of the baby.
Luther Dingle
Cute little sour. I know what he wants.
Joseph Callahan
You do?
Luther Dingle
Well, look up.
Joseph Callahan
Where?
Luther Dingle
That tree branch above your head. There's an apple on it. And the baby sees that.
Joseph Callahan
Really?
Luther Dingle
Oh, I'm sure of it. Coochie, coochie coo. Aren't you the cutest little fella? Look, I. I don't want you to think I'm a masher or anything. I. I'm certainly not a masher, but I. I wonder if you'd mind answering a question.
Joseph Callahan
That depends.
Luther Dingle
What I mean is. I mean, looking at me, would you say, at least upon a. A perfunctory cursory very first surveil, would I appear to be abnormal in any way?
Joseph Callahan
Not at all.
Luther Dingle
Oh, thank you.
Joseph Callahan
Unless you plan to use that in the park that.
Luther Dingle
You know, up to a few hours ago, I sold those things. Newfangled vacuum cleaners. Or at least I went through the motions. I was miserably bad as a salesman. Just miserable. Would you believe it? Last week I made exactly $0.89 in commission. And that was for an attachment. An upholstery nozzle. And I sold it to a drunk who kept insisting it was a divining rod for alcohol.
Joseph Callahan
Is that why you stopped?
Luther Dingle
Well, there were other factors. I expected to be fired today anyway. But that's the least of my worries. Now. A few minutes ago, people were chasing me.
Joseph Callahan
Why?
Luther Dingle
Well, that's just it. Because they thought I was abnormal. Now, I ask you, would you be interested in hearing the source of my worries?
Joseph Callahan
Go ahead.
Luther Dingle
That apple, for instance. The baby wants it. But you can't reach it, can you?
Joseph Callahan
No.
Luther Dingle
Not even if you put the baby down and stood up on the bench?
Joseph Callahan
I couldn't put the baby down.
Luther Dingle
Precisely. But what if I were to give you a hand? I'm not sure I. Morcy. There's benchways or I'd say 100, 150 pounds. And you're no more than 110 to 115.
Joseph Callahan
Well, 125.
Luther Dingle
Well, what if I were to stand, reach down, pick up the bench by one of its legs and lift it straight up into the air like this. Please put us down so that you could reach the apple and you wouldn't even have to disturb the baby. Go on, reach over and take it. And then I put the bench down with you and the baby on it. Right back down on the ground. As gentle as there. Would you say that's abnormal?
Anthony O'Toole
How.
Joseph Callahan
How did you.
Anthony O'Toole
Hey, man, could you do that again?
Luther Dingle
Whoa.
Anthony O'Toole
I'm not sure I got my camera with me. I sure would like to get a shot of that. Is it a magic trick like in Las Vegas? Are you a magician or what?
Luther Dingle
No, it's just something that I've discovered I can do. Very recently, as a matter of fact. You see.
Joseph Callahan
I better get the baby home now.
Anthony O'Toole
Let me just get the camera set up.
Luther Dingle
But the young lady's gone now. There's no point in lifting the bench with no one on it, is there?
Anthony O'Toole
Then do something else or.
Luther Dingle
Like what?
Anthony O'Toole
Anything.
Luther Dingle
I don't know.
Anthony O'Toole
At least let me take your picture. Stand right there by that big rock here.
Luther Dingle
Well, I suppose one picture wouldn't do any harm. Shall I take my hat off? Of course. Then the sun would be in my eyes when I have this point.
Anthony O'Toole
Can you show me your muscles or something?
Luther Dingle
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't believe I have any muscles to speak of.
Anthony O'Toole
Oh, yeah, right. Say cheese.
Luther Dingle
Wait. Now the rock is in the way. Perhaps if you stand a few feet.
Anthony O'Toole
To your left and then the sun will be right in the lens.
Luther Dingle
Oh, in that case, I better move the rock. May I? Hold on one second.
Anthony O'Toole
Whoa. You lifted it just like that. It. That must weigh a ton there, young man.
Luther Dingle
Is that better? I suppose you can snap my picture now. If you insist.
Anthony O'Toole
Yeah, that's great.
Luther Dingle
Are you sure this is my good side?
Anthony O'Toole
Couple more. All right. Wait til my editor sees this. For the love of Mike, did you see this?
Narrator
What do you got there, Callahan?
Anthony O'Toole
It's Dingle on the front page of the Daily Bulletin.
Narrator
Let me see that. Hercules? No, It's Luther Dingle, 20th century Samson.
Anthony O'Toole
Good gravy. There's his picture. Picking up a giant rock. You mean this is our Dingle?
Narrator
None other, by the looks of it.
Luther Dingle
And this is where I spend my afternoons when I'm not working. Working, of course.
Anthony O'Toole
Dingle, my Old pal. Hey, have a seat, buddy boy.
H
Mr. Luther Dingle. His favorite neighborhood pub. A regular guy who leads a regular life when he's not busy performing miracles. This is Jason Abernathy, and I'm here to bring you the full story on my eyeball news report.
Narrator
So, who wants a drink? Step right up.
Luther Dingle
Are you his friend? What's he really like? What was his first feat of strength? Did you always know he was special?
Anthony O'Toole
What's his secret?
Narrator
Well, now, Mr. Dingle, Luther is my number one customer. Never goes to any other establishment. Ain't that right, boys?
Anthony O'Toole
That's the truth. I knew he had it in him. We was pals all the way back to grade school.
Narrator
All right, who's Next? Line up.
Luther Dingle
Mr. Dingle, if what I hear is true, do you realize how much money you could make on a tour with my international circus? A circus, eh?
Joseph Callahan
I don't know.
Luther Dingle
Vegas, Atlantic City, Branson, Missouri.
Narrator
Hey, don't listen to her.
Luther Dingle
Hey, Dingle, your future's in television. You're the walking, talking embodiment of every American male's wish fulfillment. Your John Q. Citizen, your Babbitt, your Tom, Dick and Harry. We'll develop a sitcom around those values. A spin off after several guest spots, of course. Well, I'm just not sure. All right, well, how about an infomercial? A simple across the board address by you with examples of your physical prowess, followed by product endorsement. It's a natural for breakfast cereals, vitamin pills, anything at all. You mean like Jack lalanne, the Juice Man? That sort of thing?
Anthony O'Toole
Forget it, Dingle. I keep telling you, boxing is a piece of cake. You line up with me, I'll get you a couple of real easy setups, and inside of eight months, I'll have you fighting for the world championship. Or if you want to go with the WWF instead.
H
All right. All right, everybody. We're going on the air live in just a few seconds. Would the people around Mr. Dingle get out of the way, please?
Anthony O'Toole
Well, I don't want to, but.
H
Okay.
Anthony O'Toole
On the air in 4, 3, 2, 1.
Luther Dingle
And.
H
Hello, friends. Jason Abernathy here. Our unusual subject today is Mr. Luther Dingle, who, if what actual onlookers say is true, is the world's strongest man.
Luther Dingle
Oh, Well, I know Mr. Dingle.
H
Mr. Dingle, would you give us an example of this fantastic, allegedly fantastic strength of yours?
Luther Dingle
Well, I'd be happy to, Mr. O', Toole, is it? All right, you know the thing we discussed?
Narrator
What, are you kidding? I ain't done this much business since.
Anthony O'Toole
Well, I Don't know when.
Narrator
Be my guest, Dingle.
H
Well, yes.
Luther Dingle
I'll start off with something simple. See this wall? Solid plaster, supported, I believe, by wooden studs. I'll make a small X with my finger here. And.
H
You saw it. Mr. Dingle has just punched a hole through a solid wall with his bare fists.
Luther Dingle
Now for my second demonstration. Oh, dear. Let me see. You've heard of karate, I suppose I could simply just line up the edge of my hand with the surface of this table. My open hand, mind you, and with a single blow.
H
That's amazing. Would you call it mind over matter, Mr. Dingle?
Luther Dingle
Oh, no. I call him example of matter over matter. It doesn't matter what's on my mind, even if it's nothing at all.
Narrator
Okay, Dingle. Just don't go breaking all my tables in half, okay?
Anthony O'Toole
Hey, better sit down, buddy. Have yourself a drink. Hey, you want my seat?
Luther Dingle
Not yet. I feel fine. Splendid. These bar stools are bolted down, aren't they? If, let's say, I wanted to move one a few inches. Wow.
Anthony O'Toole
See that? He ripped it right off the. And he didn't even break a sweat. What a guy. Go on, take my stool if you want.
Luther Dingle
Stand up.
Anthony O'Toole
Sure.
H
Why.
Luther Dingle
If you please.
Anthony O'Toole
Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, no, wait a minute, Dingle. Ain't you ever heard of bygones being bygones? Put me down.
H
I see it, but I don't believe it. Ladies and gentlemen, the man at the bar is 160 or 75, and Dingle is lifting him like a rag doll, twirling him over his head with one hand.
Anthony O'Toole
That ain't funny.
Luther Dingle
There. Now, that didn't hurt too much, did it? Pow. You're good as new. Well, almost. Gonna give your hand up. Pow.
Joseph Callahan
Mr. Dingle, you're my hero.
Anthony O'Toole
He can do anything.
Luther Dingle
You better not pick a fight with that fellow.
Alien 2
Had enough?
Alien 1
Most inferior. We give him the strength of 300 men and he uses it for petty exhibitions.
Alien 2
What shall we do about it?
Alien 1
Give him 20 or 30 seconds more and then remove the power.
Alien 2
Excellent. Then I think we'd best be off. Three more planets on the itinerary. What is particularly interesting contains only females.
Alien 1
Set the ray for cancellation check.
Luther Dingle
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for my next feat, I think I'll lift this entire building. Well, at least the ceiling, and hence all the floors above it. Step aside, everyone.
H
I don't know if we have a clear shot of this, but he's standing on his tiptoes, extending his fingers to the ceiling.
Luther Dingle
Here we go. Let Me? Try that again. I can't seem to.
H
Something's wrong.
Luther Dingle
No, I just felt strange there for reason. Some second. Let me try another bar stool. Remember, they're bolted to the floor. One finger. No, maybe two fingers.
Joseph Callahan
He's a fake.
Luther Dingle
No wires.
Anthony O'Toole
This time was a trick.
H
What's the matter, Mr. Dingle?
Luther Dingle
The wall. Then I'll punch another hole. Right about here.
H
Well, apparently we've all been the victims of a charlotte cut. Are we still alive?
Anthony O'Toole
Come on, let's get out of here. That was a trick.
Luther Dingle
That's just some guy looking to get his picture in the paper.
Narrator
All right, leave off with poor Dingle here. Get out of here. Hey, come on, Dingle. Sit down. I'll get you some iodine for those knuckles.
H
Ladies and gentlemen, you have the station's apologies. We didn't realize that these were merely stage illusions and.
Anthony O'Toole
Okay, we're off the air. That's a wrap.
H
Off the air for good, I think.
Anthony O'Toole
Lets go.
H
So long, Samson.
Alien 2
Time to go.
Alien 1
Yes.
Alien 2
Wait. Who are they?
Anthony O'Toole
Hello boys.
Alien 1
Where are you two from?
Anthony O'Toole
Venus. How about you?
Alien 1
Mars. Conducting your own experiments?
Anthony O'Toole
Yes. And you?
Alien 2
Sudden introduction of strength to subnormal earthmen. What is your experiment?
Anthony O'Toole
Sudden introduction of an enhanced intelligence. Find any interesting subjects?
Alien 1
That one over there referred to as Dingle. He is certainly subphysical.
Anthony O'Toole
Maybe submittal to a likely subject. Give him the intelligence quota ray.
Alien 1
How much?
Anthony O'Toole
Oh, we'll make him approximately 500 times more intelligent than the average human.
Luther Dingle
What was that?
Anthony O'Toole
Hey, Dingle, who do you like in the double header tonight?
Luther Dingle
Well, in this case the laws of probability are interspersed with the finagling laws of chance. So through a process of calculus and a subdivision of gripple based physical motivating antidote. Divisional annotating in this case of course using the 2x factors as represented by the teams eternal score must of necessity be 5 to 3. Milwaukee in the opener, 6 to nothing, Dodgers in the nightcap.
Anthony O'Toole
Yeah. What did he say? Search me. Callahan, let's have another drink.
Narrator
It's on the house.
Luther Dingle
It is apparently on an advanced mathematical plan that the entire quantum theory of space and time relativity must of necessity.
Alien 2
Be equated with the parallelian law of definitive numerical dialectic algebraic.
Luther Dingle
And.
Rod Serling
Exit. Mr. Luther Dingle, former vacuum cleaner salesman, strongest man on earth and now mental giant. These latter powers will very likely be eliminated before too long. But Mr. Dingell has an appeal to extraterrestrial note takers as well as to frustrated and insolvent pet losers. Offhand, I'd say that he's in for a great many extremely odd periods simply because there are so many inhabited planets to send down observers. And also because, of course, Mr. Dingle lives his life with one foot planted firmly in the Twilight Z.
Narrator
We'll return to the Twilight Zone after these words.
Rod Serling
You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone. Hi, this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to take a moment to tell you about our Twilight Zone website at twilight zone quick radio.com@ twilightzoneradio.com, you'll find the latest information on these Twilight Zone radio dramas, including behind the scenes photographs, plus the newest product releases, trivia contests, ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone related info and merchandise, plus links to other fascinating websites. So make your next stop twilightzoneradio.com Visit.
H
Twilight zone radio.com to purchase these Twilight Zone radio dramas on cassette and CD, or call toll free 1-866-98-ZONE. That's 1-866-989-9663.
Narrator
Mr. Dingle the strong, starring Tim Kazarinski with Stacy Keach as your narrator, was adapted for radio by Dennis Etchison and based on a script by Rod Serling. Heard in the cast were Peter Davaria, Doug James, Richard Hensel, Turk Muller, Rick Peoples, Adam Tangway, Martin Hughes, Maria Stevens, Peggy Roeder, Roger Wolski and Carl Amari. To learn more about the Twilight Zone radio dramas and to obtain audio cassettes and CDs of these programs, visit our website at twilightzoneradio.com the producers of the Twilight Zone wish to thank CBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison, Dick Brescia Associates Claire Simon Casting Terry Jennings Exim Satellite Radio, the American Forces Radio and television service, Sirius Satellite Radio, our sponsors and our radio affiliates for helping make this series possible. This copyrighted radio series is produced and directed by Carl Amari and Roger Wolski for Falcon Picture Group. Doug James speaking.
Podcast Information:
"Mr. Dingle, the Strong" is a captivating episode from the classic Twilight Zone series, hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio. This episode delves into the life of Luther Dingle, a struggling vacuum cleaner salesman, whose mundane existence is dramatically altered by an otherworldly intervention. Through rich storytelling and engaging dialogue, the episode explores themes of mediocrity, transformation, and unintended consequences.
The story unfolds in a neighborhood bar, a quintessential setting that serves as the backdrop for the unfolding drama. Rod Serling's signature introduction sets the tone for a journey into the unknown:
Rod Serling ([00:09]): "You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the twilight zone."
This classic opening invites listeners into a world where the ordinary becomes extraordinary, setting the stage for Luther Dingle's transformative journey.
Luther Dingle is introduced as an unsuccessful vacuum cleaner salesman, struggling to make sales and facing skepticism from potential customers. His character is portrayed as meek and somewhat pitiable:
Luther Dingle ([01:07]): "Why, yes, as a matter of fact. A new breakthrough in home hygiene. It removes dust and dirt that you can't see with the naked eye."
Despite his efforts, Luther fails to convince Joseph Callahan, highlighting his lack of success and the disdain he faces.
Joseph Callahan is depicted as a tough, skeptical individual who is dismissive of Luther's sales pitches. His interactions with Luther reveal a hardened demeanor shaped by past frustrations:
Joseph Callahan ([01:25]): "Yeah, it is. And you're a salesman. You better stay away from my place. My dad hates salesmen."
Anthony O'Toole, the proprietor of the neighborhood bar, is a protective figure who maintains order and dislikes troublemakers. His authority in the bar is evident as he manages conflicts between patrons:
Anthony O'Toole ([04:25]): "Yeah, you want me to pay on a bum call? Where I come from, a bet's a bet."
The core conflict arises from Luther's unsuccessful attempts to sell his vacuum cleaner, leading to tension with Joseph Callahan and Anthony O'Toole. Luther's desperation to make a sale highlights his struggles:
Luther Dingle ([01:35]): "If you could just point the way to Yancy Street over there by the park."
Joseph and Anthony's hostility toward Luther intensifies the atmosphere, setting the stage for the extraordinary events to follow.
Unbeknownst to the human characters, two aliens discreetly observe the interactions in the bar. Their analysis of Luther's weakness and failure prompts them to consider him for an experiment:
Alien 1 ([11:55]): "His name is Dingle. He's an abject coward. He doesn't even possess the minimum musculature for survival on this planet."
Alien 2 ([12:16]): "We have not found anyone weaker, have we? This one will make an exceptional subject."
The aliens decide to alter Luther's physical capabilities by enhancing his strength exponentially:
Alien 2 ([12:16]): "We have not found anyone weaker, have we? This one will make an exceptional subject. I estimate 11 additional psychograms, atomic weight. That should make him approximately 300 times as strong as the average human."
The aliens' intervention manifests in Luther suddenly gaining superhuman strength. This transformation is both a blessing and a curse, dramatically changing his interactions with others:
Luther Dingle ([18:41]): "Did you see that? He lifted the car and turned it."
Luther's newfound abilities astonish the bar patrons, shifting his role from a pitiable salesman to a local sensation. However, this change also attracts unwanted attention and skepticism:
Anthony O'Toole ([28:23]): "Forget it, Dingle. I keep telling you, boxing is a piece of cake."
Despite his strength, Luther struggles with the responsibility and the unexpected nature of his powers, leading to moments of confusion and self-doubt:
Luther Dingle ([19:43]): "What in the world is happening to me?"
Luther's feats soon catch the attention of the media, represented by reporter Jason Abernathy. This newfound fame presents both opportunities and ethical dilemmas as Luther becomes a spectacle:
H (Jason Abernathy) ([27:26]): "Mr. Luther Dingle, His favorite neighborhood pub. A regular guy who leads a regular life when he's not busy performing miracles."
The media's portrayal of Luther as a "miracle performer" contrasts sharply with his genuine struggle to understand and control his abilities, adding layers to his character's internal conflict.
As Luther continues to demonstrate his strength, the aliens monitor his actions closely. Their observations lead them to an additional intervention to enhance his intelligence:
Alien 2 ([34:25]): "We have to give him the intelligence quota ray."
This augmentation aims to transform Luther not just physically but also mentally, creating a superhuman with both immense strength and intellect. The combined enhancements result in Luther becoming a formidable figure, yet the consequences remain uncertain.
The episode culminates in Luther's complete transformation, juxtaposing his earlier struggles with his current state of power and intelligence. Rod Serling's closing narration ties together the themes of transformation and the unintended consequences of tampering with human nature:
Rod Serling ([35:37]): "Mr. Luther Dingle, former vacuum cleaner salesman, strongest man on earth and now mental giant. These latter powers will very likely be eliminated before too long. But Mr. Dingell has an appeal to extraterrestrial note takers as well as to frustrated and insolvent pet losers. Offhand, I'd say that he's in for a great many extremely odd periods simply because there are so many inhabited planets to send down observers. And also because, of course, Mr. Dingle lives his life with one foot planted firmly in the Twilight Zone."
This reflection underscores the precarious balance between human frailty and the pursuit of greatness, emphasizing that ultimate power may come with unforeseen vulnerabilities.
Rod Serling ([00:09]): "You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the twilight zone."
Luther Dingle ([03:00]): "Now pretend, if you will, that this rug here is your brain. And this dirt."
Anthony O'Toole ([07:31]): "I set the odds and you took them. All I want is what's coming to me."
Alien 1 ([11:55]): "His name is Dingle. He's an abject coward. He doesn't even possess the minimum musculature for survival on this planet."
Luther Dingle ([19:43]): "What in the world is happening to me?"
Rod Serling ([35:37]): "Mr. Luther Dingle... lives his life with one foot planted firmly in the Twilight Zone."
Luther Dingle's transformation from a downtrodden salesman to a superhuman raises questions about identity and the essence of self. The episode explores how sudden changes can redefine one's place in society and personal relationships.
The narrative delves into the human desire to transcend limitations. Luther's quest for success and recognition leads to an otherworldly intervention, highlighting the lengths to which individuals might go to achieve greatness.
Luther's enhanced abilities bring both admiration and exploitation. The episode poses ethical questions about the responsible use of power and the manipulation of individuals for ulterior motives.
Despite his newfound strengths, Luther remains isolated and misunderstood, emphasizing the loneliness that can accompany extraordinary abilities. His struggle to connect with others underscores the challenges of bridging the gap between ordinary and superhuman experiences.
The alien intervention serves as a metaphor for external forces that shape human destiny. It suggests that advancements or changes in one's life can be influenced by unforeseen and uncontrollable factors.
"Mr. Dingle, the Strong" is a compelling addition to the Twilight Zone anthology, blending ordinary human struggles with supernatural elements to create a thought-provoking narrative. Through Luther Dingle's journey, the episode examines the complexities of transformation, the pursuit of success, and the unintended consequences that often accompany significant change. Rod Serling's masterful narration ties together these themes, leaving listeners with profound reflections on the nature of power and identity.
For those who haven't listened to this episode, "Mr. Dingle, the Strong" offers a rich and engaging story that captures the essence of the Twilight Zone—bringing the uncanny into the everyday and inviting audiences to ponder the deeper questions of human existence.